my sister came to stay with me for the weekend and it was honestly so helpful for the two of us. instead of being sad and alone all weekend we both were able to have some fun. the weather was perfect and we sat outside and had some drinks on the river. we got to talk about all the shit going on. it was so great to just sit and binge watch summer house with her. just having someone to do nothing with was really refreshing. i’ve been trying to convince her to move closer to me for years. she just got her first apartment and it’s still in western ma but hopefully we can have more weekends like this. i think we both really needed some human contact. while i do love being alone, i feel lonely a lot. my best friend lives downstairs but with a husband and baby i don’t get to spend time with her like i used to.
my mom goes in for surgery this upcoming week and i can tell her anxiety is at an all time high. i’m glad the two of us are actually having emotionally intelligent conversations bc it honestly makes me feel like i’m not totally helpless in this situation. because my mom’s surgery is so early on thursday they are getting a hotel room the night before. she’s going to be in the hospital for at least a night post surgery. my parents are likely going to come and see my new place and i’m excited for that. i’m also probably going to head down and spend the day with my dad on thursday, something we have not done in many, many years.
we’re going to wait to do a service/celebration for my gram until my mom is recovered more from surgery. i’m not on facebook but i recently looked at my dad’s post about her and it’s clear that my gram really made her mark on so many people. i’m happy that she was so loved by so many people. i know i keep saying it but i miss her so much. losing a grandparent is a part of life but it really sucks to watch a disease suck the life out of them.
if anything, all of these things have made my immediate family members so much more open, which is what i’ve been wanting for years. i’ve had more emotional and real conversations with my dad specifically in the last few weeks than in my entire life.
anyway, all of this is to say i’m glad i have my sister and that our small family unit is coming together in this. it all fucking sucks but the silver lining is that we are all coming together.
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