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Age: 24|Phil. 4:13 💕|She/Her| Raverin 💙🖤💚| ISFJ [with some ISTJ tendencies] 🧠| Studier of people's psychological dynamics

[chelseyjoyce]

Hotch Content that I Really Love

So, I love reading Hotch fanfics recently since I spent the last couple of months watching Criminal Minds [currently on season 11]. It has come to my attention that I find myself telling people all the fanfics I’m reading on here, but I can’t seem to find the links as easily when using my phone. So here are all the Hotch fanfics and one-shots that I highly recommend reading. The links will be embedded in the title ^^ There will also be people who have fantastic one-shots and I’ll be putting their links to their general masterlist ^^

Completed One-Shots

Home Sweet Home by @definitelynotkatesblog

If you want me to, I will by @moon-light-jukebox

—𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒓𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒇𝒇𝒆𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆-𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒔 by @luciilferss

The Inevitable by @merakiaes

The One For Me by @merakiaes

Up in the Air by @ladylibby

Wasteland Baby by @hyacinthhotch

Multi-Chapter and Multi-Part Fanfics[* = COMPLETED]

Agents and Asphodel* by @qvid-pro-qvo

Between Us* by @ladylibby [link to chapter 1]

Bitter End by @whistlingwillows (ON HIATUS)

Entangled by @iconicc

Fifteen by @arganfics

Illicit Affairs by @hotchncrs (ON HIATUS)

Intelligence & Issues* by @klinenovakwinchester

Lovers That Went Wrong & Good Things Come Back* by @hotchsbabygirl [two-part story with different titles]

Not Again by @yours-truly-r [link to part 1] (DISCONTINUED)

Seattle* by @hurricanejjareau

Songs to Play While Hunting a Killer by @write-orflight [link to prologue] (ON HIATUS)

Standards of Performance by @thedumpsterqueen [link to chapter 1; post has link to text at AO3]

Subtle Differences* by @baubabble [link to part 1]

A Truth Universally Acknowledged* by @moon-light-jukebox 

Masterlist of One-Shots From Authors that I Love

@avengersbau‘s masterlist

@arganfics‘ masterlist [the one-shots are also very fantastic and are worth checking out ^^]

@criminalhotch's masterlist

@dudeitiskarev's masterlist

@girl-of-many-fandoms ‘s masterlist

@iconicc‘s masterlist [also another person who writes amazing one-shots]

@klinenovakwinchester ‘s masterlist​ 

@ssahotchswife’s masterlist

@ssa-ki99's masterlist

@writefasttalkevenfaster‘s masterlist

[ptersparkers]

reckless (aaron hotchner)

summary: After two years with the BAU, you get the feeling that Aaron Hotchner isn’t your biggest fan. That’s too bad, because you really like him.

notes: hello. this is singlehandedly the longest fic i’ve ever written (like 21.7K words). i didn’t intend for it to be this long and i tried to see where i could break it up, but i think it flows better if it’s in one piece. happy reading! x 

(edit: adding in that the reader is fem)

a huge thank you to @hotchsdoormat​ for being the best person alive and for listening to me rant about this piece. love u forever.

warnings: typical criminal minds speak, kidnapping and mentions of broken arms and ribs and typos, probably. 

***

Years of dreaming of becoming a federal agent for the Behavioral Analysis Unit led to the beginning of an illustrious career solving crimes and traveling across the country. It had only taken guest lectures by none other than the BAU themselves for the idea of catching killers and outsmarting them to do so to seep its way to the back of your mind.

You just wish you liked your job.

You like your work. You like walking into the office with a sense of purpose and you like profiling bad people and saving the good ones. You even like the shitty coffee that never seems to run out and you don’t mind the early call times and the sudden departures. 

What you don’t like, however, is your boss. But you know that’s just because he doesn’t like you. 

In your two years with the BAU, you don’t think you’ve ever seen Aaron throw a smile in your direction if it wasn’t meant for someone standing next to you. Two years of Aaron being dismissive and choosing to sit farthest from you in the conference room and on the jet. Two years of watching him foster friendships with your coworkers without sparing you a second glance. But work is work.

You’re an outsider. It’s almost what you expected. 

Emily’s the first one to tell you that you don’t need to take it personally. Her rocky start with the BAU and stories of learning that trust takes time eased your worries for a while, but Aaron never seemed to give you the time of day aside collaborating with the rest of the team. Everyone says he’s notorious for being stoic and intimidating, but you don’t see it that way. In your mind, he loathes you. 

Which is unfortunate, because you liked Aaron the most.

Keep reading

[austinshotbutlers]

The Wedding Date - Part Two

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!BAU!Reader

Summary: Your sister’s wedding is approaching fast and the thought of showing your boyfriend off to you family and your ex-boyfriend seems like a very appealing idea. The only problem is… you don’t have a boyfriend. Luckily your stony faced, serious, sexy boss has agreed to be your fake boyfriend for the weekend. What could possibly go wrong?

Word count: 4.1k

TW: Mentions and allusions to sex, swear words and bad writing?

A/N: Part two is here!!! I’ve tagged everyone who commented on part one but let me know if you want to be removed. The love i have received for part one has meant so much, I didn’t think it would blow up as much as it did. Thank you so much to every single one of you! There will be a part three! Part one can be found here

“Maybe we should hold hands?” You suggested as your smoothed down the red, silky dress you had picked for the party as you made your way into the extremely expensive looking lounge bar. You adjusted your hair slightly to ensure it looked perfect and once again smoothed the surface of your dress.

“Stop fidgeting, you look beautiful.” Aaron smiled and he took your hand in his.

You walked through the large doors into a gorgeous, old fashioned style bar. Family and friends were mingling all around nursing all kinds of alcoholic beverages. A waiter with a tray of champagne flutes passed and you quickly grabbed two, handing one to Aaron. You knocked it back in one, ready to face the challenges of the evening.

“You might want to slow down just a little bit.” Aaron laughed as he took a small sip from his own flute.

You were about to respond but the shrill sound of your sister cut you off.

“EEEEK!” She squealed as she ran over. “My sister is here! Who’s the hunk?” She attempted to whisper so Aaron couldn’t hear but failed miserably. “I’m getting married! I’m getting married!” And before you could respond, your slightly intoxicated sister ran off to hound someone else.

“She is going to be so drunk by the end of the night.” You say to Aaron, rolling your eyes jokingly.

“I’m just going to step outside and give Jack a call. Is that ok?” Aaron asks, pulling his phone out his suit pocket.

“Oh god yes! Go call him!” You ushered him away to let him phone Jack. This was your chance to go and refresh yourself and you made your way to the restroom. You looked at yourself in the mirror, tucking some loose hair back behind your ear before retouching your lipstick. You smiled to yourself as you remembered Hotch saying you looked beautiful, heat rose to your cheeks and you fanned your face to calm down. Once you had collected your thoughts and you had finished touching up your makeup, you headed straight out the restroom door and walked smack into someone.

“God I’m so sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was…” you looked up and immediately recognised the cold steely eyes that were staring back at you. “Luke….” You laughed nervously. “Hi.”

He loosened his tie slightly before he spoke. “Er… Y/N, hi.”

You both stood in an awkward silence for a few seconds as you took in his appearance. He had aged quite a bit since you had last seen him; the start of a receding hairline, a messy, unkempt beard and still wearing ill fitting suits. You took a mental note of how much better Aaron wore a suit.

“Where’s this boyfriend I’ve been hearing about?” He asked abruptly.

You were quite taken aback. “He’s somewhere in the bar. He wasn’t going to escort me to the bathroom.” You replied bluntly.

He was just about to say something else when the uncanny voice of your cousin filled the small hallway.

“Oh my god!! If it isn’t my favourite cousin ever!” She yelled, running over and embracing you tightly. “Seriously, nearly two years since I last saw you. I have ex-boyfriends I see more than you.”

You laughed as you pulled back from the hug. “Oh Livvy I’ve missed you.”

She smiled at you before turning to face Luke. “Hello asshole.” She says in a moody tone. “Hope it’s alright if I just steal my cousin away.” And before Luke could utter a single word, Liv was dragging you up the stairs back to the party.

“Thank god you came when you did. I think he was about to play 21 questions with me about my new boyfriend.” You huffed.

“I will always rescue you from that asshole.” Liv replied and picked up a glass of champagne. “Now here,” she passed it to you. “Drink! God knows you’re going to need it.”

You sipped at the drink and scanned the room to see if Aaron had joined the party again. Just then, you saw him on the arm of your mother as she introduced him to all of your aunts. She had clearly cornered him when he came back to the party and insisted on introducing him to all the family. You smiled as he said something which made the group laugh, all your aunts seeming to take an instant liking to him.

“Ok, spill! Who is the sexy boyfriend of yours then? How did you meet?” Liv asked as she watched Aaron as well.

“We work together at the BAU. He’s the Unit Chief.” You replied without a second thought.

“Dating the boss? Sounds like something I would do.” She laughed.

You shook your head with a laugh and then looked up to see that Aaron had managed to escape your mother’s death grip and was making his way over to you. When he reached you, he placed his hand on your hip and ducked down to place a kiss on your cheek.

“How was Jack?” You asked breathlessly, the tingle of Aaron’s lips still lingering on your cheek.

“Yeah he’s good. Tired from a long day playing soccer.” Aaron replied with a smile.

Your cousin coughed to remind you of her presence.

“Liv!” You burst out, moving to the side so Aaron could see her properly. “Aaron, this is my cousin Liv.” You introduced them. Aaron put his hand out and Liv shook it enthusiastically.

“Nice to meet you Aaron. I’m so glad Y/N finally got over that pathetic loser and decided to get herself a real man.”

“Liv!” You hissed at her as she embarrassed you but Aaron just smiled and moved so he could wrap his arm around your waist. “Let’s go get another drink.” You say to him and you both wondered over to the bar.

“What would you like?” Aaron asked as he caught the attention of the bartender.

“Anything that’s stronger than champagne.” You groaned.

“Two scotches please.” Aaron asked the bartender and he speedily poured out two tumblers of amber liquid.

“Thanks.” You murmured just loud enough for Aaron to hear. He placed his arm back around your waist, taking a sip of his scotch.

You started to giggle to yourself and Aaron looked at you quizzically. “What’s so funny?”

“Well it’s just…” you laughed a bit harder. “Hotch drinking scotch.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, trying his best to suppress the smile that was slowly forming on his face. “It’s not even funny Y/N.”

“Say that to the smile on your face.” You laughed harder and Aaron gave in, laughing with you. “I think the alcohol is finally working, I’m going to go and get some fresh air,” and you slowly made your way out to the patio, taking a deep breath in.

***

Aaron smiled as he watched you glide across the floor, heading to the opened doors. If someone had told him a month ago that he would be in LA with you, pretending to be your boyfriend, he would have said they were insane. This was so out of character for him yet it felt so right being here with you. Everything about you made his heart swell; your smile and laugh, your bad jokes, the way you tuck your hair behind your ears. But tonight, the way you looked in that red dress just took his breath away, you were simply stunning.

He turned back to the bar and asked for another scotch which the bartender handed over.

“I’ll have the same.” Someone said from beside him, he turned to look at the man. He had a long overgrown beard that definitely needed trimming and a rather bad fitting suit on. “Partying alone?” The man asked Aaron.

“No, my girlfriend has just gone to get a breath of fresh air.” He replied. “You?”

“All by myself tonight being painfully taunted by my ex-girlfriend.” Said the man with a sigh, taking a large gulp of his scotch.

‘Surely this isn’t Luke?’ Aaron thought to himself as he attempted to profile his mannerisms and appearance.

“Yeah she seems to be trying to make me jealous. She claims she has a boyfriend but I’m yet to see him with her. She’s desperate to show me what I’m certainly not missing.” He continued and Aaron immediately realised that this was indeed your ex-boyfriend. The bitter tone as he spoke about you so rudely was enough to make Aaron want to use all his FBI combat training but he refrained so not to cause a scene. Then, out of the corner of his eye, Aaron saw you striding effortlessly in your heels across the room to him.

*** You looked over the gorgeous gardens as you stood in the early evening, the sun beginning to set. While your sister may be an insufferable bridezilla, she knew how to pick a beautiful venue. You downed the last drop of your scotch and turned to look back inside at the party. Your sister and her fiancé Thomas were chatting to your dad, your mom was telling some extravagant story to a group of people who were laughing along and Aaron…

You looked for him and saw him where you had left him at the bar and talking to…Luke!

“Oh shit!“ you shouted out loud and received a couple of unimpressed stares from some guests who were admiring the gardens as well. You put the glass in your hand down on the nearest table you could find and hastily strode across the room to get to them. Without taking a single look at Luke, you wrapped your arms around Aaron and kissed him hard on the lips. His initial shock wore off almost instantly as he melted into the kiss, placing his free hand on the small of your back, kissing you back. It felt so perfect, so right and little did you know, Aaron felt the exact same.

You pulled back abruptly and turned to see Luke with a dumbfounded look on his face.

“Luke!” You faked surprise. “I didn’t see you there. Have you two met?” You asked, motioning between him and Aaron.

“Not… not formally.” Luke replied bluntly.

“Oh! Well Luke, this is my boyfriend Aaron.” You smiled, moving so Aaron could offer his usual handshake which Luke shook reluctantly.

“I… er, I should go and find Thomas.” Luke said monotonously and he scampered away before you or Aaron could say anything to him.

As soon as he was out of earshot, you turned to Aaron. “Oh my god! That wasn’t too much was it?” You asked him frantically and Aaron just laughed.

“No, not at all. It was just a surprise is all.” He smiled sweetly.

“God I’m so sorry! And I’ve got lipstick all on your lips, hang on.” You frantically grabbed a napkin from the bar and started to wipe his lips clean of your red lipstick.

The concentration on your face made Aaron smile and he watched you with such adoration.

“Thank you.” He murmured and you looked too see him smiling at you. Heat rose to your cheeks, the way he looked you made you feel like a pre-teen again. You were about to speak when the sound of a glass being tapped silenced everyone in the bar.

“If I could please have your attention.” The voice of your mother filled the room.

“Jesus. Prepare yourself for the second-hand embarrassment from my mother speaking publicly.” You whispered to Aaron and he chuckled.

“Thank you all for coming to celebrate the engagement of my beautiful daughter Sarah and her fiancé Thomas. We have been waiting for a wedding in this family for a very long time now. We of course thought Y/N would be the first one down the aisle.” The mention of your name immediately caused a lot of looks from around the room focused on you, a couple of murmurs too and you cursed in your head whoever let your mom make a speech while feeling the affects of alcohol. However, the feeling of Aaron snaking his arm around your hips and holding you close made you relax and you tried to ignore your mom’s speech but luckily, your dad interjected and took over.

“To Sarah and Thomas!” He cheered raising a class and everyone followed suit.

“Are you ok?” Aaron whispered quietly into your ear and all you could do was nod.

***

As soon as you walked into your bedroom, you kicked off you heels and threw yourself onto the bed. Aaron walked in a couple of seconds later, loosening his tie and undoing his top button.

“That was simply awful.” You groaned into the pillow.

“It wasn’t that bad.” Aaron said as he sat down next to you on the bed, starting to unlace his shoes.

“Easy for you to say.” You huffed. “When you were talking to Luke, what was he saying?”

Aaron hesitated, debating whether or not to share the whole conversation but he settled on telling the truth. “He said you were trying hard to make him jealous and he didn’t believe you had a boyfriend.”

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing and sat up abruptly. “He is such a dick!” You exclaim. “How did I deal with it for 5 years?”

“What exactly happened when he broke up with you?” Aaron asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

You took a deep breath. It was about time you shared the full story, no one knew it other than you and Luke. You hadn’t realised but Aaron had placed his hand on top of yours and engulfed it completely.

“It’s ok. Take your time.” He said with such care and kindness in his voice.

“Well, it was on our anniversary of all days. I guess we had been having some rocky patches, he didn’t like the idea of me moving to Washington and he especially didn’t like the idea of me joining the FBI. Luke is the reason it took me so long to apply for the BAU and when I finally did and told him, he was so annoyed!” Tears started to well in your eyes as you remember just how horrible the fight was and Aaron’s grip on your hand tightened which comforted you. “I ignored just how bad the fight was because everyone said it was normal but looking back, he was such a…”

“Fucking asshole.” Aaron interjected.

“Exactly. He’s exactly that.” You say. “The day he dumped me, everyone had got inside my head saying he was going to propose. My mom, sister and even his mom thought he was proposing. That’s why it hurt so bad, we were even… intimate the night before he dumped me.” Anger flared inside Aaron. How could anyone ever treat you like that? If he didn’t already hate Luke from his brief meeting with him this morning, he definitely hated him now. “No one really knew what to say to me, I was so heartbroken. I had to move back in with my parents and that’s when I decided I’d had enough and I packed up everything to come to Washington.”

“And thank god you did.” Aaron said with a smile. “The team wouldn’t work without you.” And you laughed.

“I’m going to go and get ready for bed.” You said, standing up and heading to the bathroom.

Once you locked yourself in the bathroom, you released a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. You just spilled your guts to Aaron and yet, you still knew so little about him.

***

Aaron was laying in bed when you came back from fetching a glass of water from the kitchen and you laughed.

“What’s funny now?” He asked, his voice slightly muffled from how he was laying with his head deep in the pillow.

“You’re too tall for the bed.” You giggled, walking round and placing the glass down on the bedside cabinet. You then pulled back the covers to climb in yourself. “When there’s two people in the bed, it makes me realise just how small it is.”

“I can sleep on the floor if that would be better?” Aaron offered, preparing to get out of bed.

“Don’t be stupid. You’ll get a bad back.” You said, shuffling to reposition more comfortably. “We’re just going to have to squeeze together. This is so cliché. The one bed trope from those cheesy romance books I read in college.” You groaned. “Thank you, again, for doing this for me though.”

“Stop thanking me Y/N, I wanted to help you.” Aaron replied, rolling over so he could face you.

Maybe it was the liquid courage still flowing through you from the party, but you lifted you hand and placed it on Aaron’s cheek, taking in all his features.

“You’re so handsome.” You mumbled, running your thumb across his lips and heat rose to Aaron’s cheeks before you leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. Aaron immediately reciprocated, his hand moving to your hip so naturally, gripping it tightly as the kiss grew more heated between you. His mouth trailed down your neck, sucking lightly at the base which elicited a small moan from your lips. This was the most intimate you had been with someone in a long time and it felt so right to be doing it with Aaron. But suddenly and abruptly, Aaron pulled away.

“Wha… what’s wrong?” You asked breathlessly, lips still tingling from the kiss.

“Maybe we should stop before we do something we’ll regret.” He replied, moving his hand from your hip.

“But?…” you paused. Maybe he was right, sex could make things awkward. Sex could ruin your friendship. Sex could fuck up this whole arrangement. “Yeah… yeah you’re right. Erm, goodnight Aaron.” You said reluctantly and turned over to face the wall.

“Night Y/N.” You heard Aaron mumble before you drifted off to sleep.

***

Aaron woke from the bright Los Angeles sun peeking through the gap in the curtain, he looked next to him at you. You had manoeuvred during the night and were sweetly nestled into Aaron’s torso, his arm wrapped around you.

‘It was right to stop last night.’ Aaron tried to convince himself. ‘If we had slept together, it would have only overcomplicated things.’

Aaron kept these thought stirring in his head to persuade himself that he made the right call. He leaned backwards carefully so not to disturb you to reach his watch. The hands read 6:08am. He was always an early bird as it was these early mornings where Aaron felt most at ease. He carefully moved his arm from where it was wrapped around you, trying his best not to wake you. You stirred a little before rolling over, still sound asleep. He grabbed his running gear he had packed with him just in case and began to change, glancing around the room for some paper. Once he was fully dressed, he wandered over to the desk and opened a draw to reveal a stack of bright pink post-it notes. Pink was clearly your favourite colour growing up he noted in his head. He scribbled down a message on the post-it and stuck it on the empty glass on your cabinet.

He quietly walked down the stairs, trying not to disturb your parents but was shocked when he saw your dad sat at the dinning table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper.

“We haven’t scared you off have we?” Your dad asked with a laugh.

“No sir.” Aaron chuckled. “Just heading out for a run before Y/N wakes up.”

“I’d ask to join you but my running days are behind me.” Your dad said. “Venice Beach was always my favourite place to run, I recommend it for your route today.”

“Thank you sir, I’ll keep it in mind.”

***

You woke up surprised to find the bed empty, the mattress cold. You stretched to try and wake yourself up before turning to the bedside cabinet to check the time on the clock but a pink post-it caught your attention. You picked it up and read Aaron’s scruffy handwriting: ‘Gone for a run, back soon x’. The kiss at the end taunted you as memories of yesterday flashed through your head. Kissing Aaron Hotchner was something you never thought would happen in a million years, yet here you were.

You pulled the duvet back and climbed out of bed, grabbing your phone and trying to turn it on but it was out of charge.

“For fucks sake.” You mutter and scavenge through your bags to find the charger. “It has to be somewhere!” You thought out loud.

“What are you looking for?” Came the deep voice of Aaron out of nowhere.

“Shit! You made me jump!” You exclaim and stand up, turning to look at him. Your breath hitched in your throat as you took in his appearance. The tight shirt he was wearing accentuated his arms and the running shorts showed off his muscular thighs. The glimmer of sweat on his face and the glow of heat from the exercise made him look even more handsome than usual. This was a look you could get used to seeing everyday.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” He chuckled. “If you’re looking for your charger, it’s in the big suitcase over there.” He pointed to the case that sat near the wardrobe.

“Thanks.” You say and unzip the case, reaching in to look for the cable. As soon as you fished it out the case, you plugged it in quickly and waited for the phone to get some charge.

“I’m just going to have a quick shower and then I thought we could head out for some breakfast?” Aaron suggested.

“Yeah, that sounds good. We’ve been here a day and I already need a couple of hours away from my family.” You joked and Aaron nodded with understanding.

Immediately after he closed the door to the bathroom and you heard the water running, you turned your phone on and quickly typed a message out to Emily.

7:54AM | Y/N L/N: Help!!! I think I’m falling in love with Aaron.

7:57AM | Emily Prentiss: I did warn you it would happen! What went down at the engagement party?

7:59AM | Y/N L/N: My ex is still a dick as predicted. I kissed Aaron right in front of him and you should have seen his face LOL!

8:01AM |Emily Prentiss: Dis anything other than kissing happen last night? ;)

8:02AM | Y/N L/N: Shut up.

8:04AM | Emily Prentiss: Ha! You didn’t answer my question which tells me YES! Something else did happen! Spill!

8:07AM | Y/N L/N: Fine! We made out a little after the party and I think we were going to have sex but Aaron said we should stop before we did something we might regret which was of course the right decision.

8:10AM | Emily Prentiss: OH MY GOD! Of course he said that, he is so down bad for you. He knows once you have sex with each other, there is no running away from his feelings You need to sleep with him, I bet he’s actually quite good in bed. Do you think he’s as authoritative in bed as he is when we’re on a case?

8:12AM | Y/N L/N: Emily! Stop it! I have to go, I can hear Aaron coming out the shower.

And you switched your phone off before another text could come through from Emily. She was so enjoying this too much.

***

“Any idea where we should go for breakfast?” Aaron asked you.

“There’s this really amazing brunch bar near Santa Monica pier, I used to go there all the time with Sarah.”

“Sounds perfect.” He smiled as you reached the bottom of the stairs.

“Y/N? Is that you?” Your mom called from the kitchen.

You and Aaron saw her standing at the kitchen island drinking a fluorescent green smoothie.

“What’s up mom?”

“Ahh perfect! You’re both here. Sarah wanted me to ask you if you and Aaron could join her and Thomas for one of their last minute dance lessons.” She said excitedly.

You groaned like a miserable teenager. “Do we really have to? Aaron was just about to take me for brunch.”

“Yes! It will be great fun.”

You knew then, there was absolutely no getting out of this one.

***

The Wedding Date Taglist: @wanniiieeee @notsopersonalcharlie @blackeyedangel9805 @preciousbabypeter @stxlemate @twilightlover2007 @justarandommom @impala1967dwinchester @spencermiromantiko @julyhoney @thecubanator2 @xphantomphanphanaticx @lawlesshedgehog @louderfortheback @ssamorganhotchner @essenceproxima @lespendy @stiles-argent24 @rousethemouse @tvdstelenaforever @wandererseye @bibella8swan @yourfavunsub @bibimangines @lou-the-confused-bisexual @realm8626 @sophiaj650 @bylones @howabouticallyou @madz-19 @hotchnerxo @supercriminalbean @jayxox @sweetpeterparker @mina2000alex

I tagged those who commented and reblogged part one. Let me know if you want to be removed or tagged🫶🏻

[chelseyjoyce]

This mini series has one of the best written fake dating stories I ever read and it's so great 🥺

[14buddy22]

I'm Sorry

Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader

WC: 2.6K

Masterlist

“Hey Mommy, can we call, Daddy?”

“We sure can buddy, I was actually just about to call him. You miss him?”

You watched as Jack shook his head. You know he missed his father, especially as he was getting older. He knew that Aaron was missing things in his life due to the job, but you were there for Jack and Jack realized that. 

You began to dial Aaron and within 2 rings it picked up.

“Hotchner.”

“Hi, honey.”

“I can’t talk much right now, can I talk to Jack?”

“Uh, yeah. Of course.”

Why didn’t he want to talk to you? Have you done something wrong? 

You passed the phone to Jack, him gladly accepting any phone call where he got to talk to his father. You weren’t going to let Aaron’s ignorance brother you, at least not right now.

Jack talked to his father for a few minutes and after saying goodbye he passed the phone back to you. Jack ran back into the living room to watch his after school TV show and you began to fold the laundry. 

“Hey honey, we miss you. How’s it going?”

“I have to go, I can't talk right now.”

He hung up before you could even tell him you loved him and to be safe. That never happened. He always made sure he told you he loved you. Maybe you had done something and you didn’t realize you did it. There were a million things running through your mind, all of them leading to be your fault. Maybe he did have the right to hang up on you.

After a few hours of thinking about it, you decided that it had to have been a case involving children. That’s how it always was when Aaron seemed short on the phone with you. Usually every case that involved children always made things worse whenever you wanted to talk to Aaron. He was on edge. You knew that that was the territory that came with the job, you understood that. 

You decided to text Aaron in the evening, asking if he could talk for 5 minutes. You just needed to figure out what the heck was going on in his mind so then it would put your mind at ease. 

He called you at 11:30pm, late, but you knew he was up. But when you answered, instead of a nice greeting, you just got him even angier with you - he cut right to the chase.

“Y/n, you can’t be calling and texting me. I’m working a case, I need my full attention on it, not you. I told you many times what you’d be getting into when we first began dating, you said that you were okay with that, but guess what. You’re acting like Haley. I loved Haley, I learned how to work with her because this wasn’t something she signed on for. She was a mom to my son. It’s different when you have children, you don’t know what it’s like.”

How could he say that to you? You were at home with his son. You loved Jack like your own, but clearly to Aaron, that wasn’t good enough. It wasn’t good enough because you weren’t Haley. He sure as hell made that clear. 

“What? Aaron, are you serious right now? All I did was just check in to ask how you were doing. I know I’m not Haley, you can stop comparing me to her.”

“I can’t do this with you now. I have to go.”

Aaron had hung up. Tears immediately began to form in your eyes. Not once had he raised his voice at you, not once had he hung up the phone without saying he loved you. 

You were extremely upset with him, you didn’t understand what you had done. Well, maybe you did. You will never be her. You’ll never be the first love of his life. You’ll never be Jack’s biological mother, you were a part of their family. The last time he and Jack were a part of a family was with Haley before the divorce. You met Aaron after Haley’s death, but you know the story and how he and Jack were learning to cope with it. 

But you couldn’t help but blame yourself for being in their lives. You moved into their apartment, only because Aaron asked you too. You made Jack’s school lunches, only because you thought it would be nice to take one thing off of Aaron’s to-do list. 

In ways you thought you were helping, maybe you just weren’t good enough for Aaron, and he’s finally come to realize that. That’s what hurt you. It hurt because it’s your fault you’re the way you are, and you promised you’d never change yourself. In the back of your mind, there was this voice that would tell you how you would never be good enough for Aaron. 

That phone call solidified it. 

It had been 2 days before you got a text that said he was on his way back from the case. 

Two days. A lot could happen in two days. A lot could happen from the time Aaron left to the time he came back. Aaron loved you, but did he? He would never raise your voice at you unless you truly did something wrong, he hates you.

In those two days, it allowed you to reflect on how Aaron had acted toward you, what he had said on that phone call. It allowed you time to process, allowed you time to try and rationalize what was going on in your mind. Were those voices going to win? Were you not good enough for Aaron?

You had packed up a few bags and planned on staying at Penelope’s until you can find an apartment and move out of Aaron’s apartment. Penelope didn’t know the extent of what was going on and she didn’t push it, which you were thankful for. 

You looked down at the engagement ring on your finger. You got teary eyed remembering back to your engagement almost a year ago. It’s funny how one phone call can turn everything to hell. 

You were packing some last minute things and took off your engagement ring. You put it on Aaron’s nightstand and walked out of the room, placing all the bags by the door. It would be an easy escape once you had said your goodbye to Aaron and broke off your engagement. 

You were warming up a dinner plate for Aaron when he walked in the door. He was a profiler, he knew something was wrong when he saw your bags packed and you in the kitchen. You always came to greet him, or always said, “Hi honey! I’m glad you’re home.” It was killing you that you weren’t doing it, but if he didn’t love you, why would you do it?

“Y/n?”

“Hi. How was the case?”

Aaron walked over to kiss you and you turned your cheek to him, playing it off like you were trying to get the silverware. 

“It ended the way I hoped it would, but 3 young children are still dead. That’s 3 small caskets that have to be used.”

You looked at Aaron. You did feel sympathetic. All Aaron has was you, Jack, and Jess. If he lost Jack, well, you don’t know what exactly would happen, but you know it wouldn’t be good. However, it still didn’t excuse him for allowing him to treat you the way you did, even when you’ve been upfront about how you’ve felt. 

“I’m going to go see Jack, change, and then I’ll be out for dinner and we can spend some time together.”

You watched him walk to Jack’s room. Could he really be that oblivious to you? You didn’t greet him as you usually did, you didn’t give him a kiss on the lips, did he not get the hint when your bags were by the front door? That was the thing. Maybe he didn’t care, he’s done with you. This relationship had become a job to him.

Aaron’s P.O.V.

Walking in the door, I was relieved to be home, I get to see my son and get to spend the rest of the weekend with the love of my life. I know I’d been short with her and said some things that I immediately and immensely regret, but cases with kids are just so tough. 

Taking my shoes off, I noticed a pile of all her luggage. Where was she going? We didn’t have any vacations planned, she had nothing on her schedule. What was going on?

I’ve decided to ignore it, she’ll tell me when she’s ready. But, when she didn’t say anything when she heard me, that’s another problem. She always said hello to me. 

Walking over to her to hold her and kiss her and love her for the entire time I’d been gone. She deserves it. She’s the best woman to ever come into my life. She’s an amazing mom to Jack and I just know that when we have kids she’s going to be the most amazing mom to them as well. 

Y/n makes me feel like the luckiest guy in the world, no, not feel, she makes me the luckiest guy in the world because I have her. She’d slowly start taking over smaller roles on my to-do list, she’d make Jack’s school lunches, she packs my lunch for work, she leaves little notes all over the house for Jack and I, she does our laundry. She doesn’t need to do it, but she does, because she’s amazing. 

After kissing Jack and tucking him in tighter, it was a sense of relief to know that I could leave and know that I get to come home to my son and fiance. It made the job easier, even on the toughest days. 

I walked into our bedroom, unholstering my gun to lock up, I looked down at the nightstand, and the glimmer of her engagement ring is there. She always wore it during the day, why is it off? 

Then it hit me. The way I snapped at her over the phone, I compared her to Haley. Why the fuck would I do that? She’s been upfront with me about having a voice in the back of her head saying she’s not good enough. 

It’d been two days since I’d talked to her, that’s two days where she let terrible things consume her mind, and it’s my fault. But, she can’t break off the engagement. I love her, I didn’t mean any of it. 

I grabbed the ring and walked out of the room, making my way back into the kitchen where she was. 

“Hey, you didn’t change. Did you get called in on a case again?”

“No. You are far more important than me changing right now. We are more important than a case.”

He motioned to you and him and he held up your engagement ring. He moved closer to you. He was upset, but how could he be upset at you? It’s him who caused all of this, or was it you?

“I’m sorry for what I’ve done. I’m sorry for what I did. You didn’t deserve that because you were just loving me and our son.”

You were upset. You were very upfront with Aaron about how you felt in the shadow of Haley, how you didn’t think you were perfect enough for him and Jack. 

“When someone tells you that they’ll never know what it’s like to be a mom, or how someone acts like I’m nothing to them. When you become the second choice, all you can think about is what went wrong.”

“No, no, it’s my fault, but y/n, I love you. I mean it. I know you were upfront with me about it. I’m sorry. I know that you believe deep down everything is your fault that you’re not good enough, that you’re not worth it, but let me tell you. You ARE. You’re so worth it. You’re so good to me, you’re so good to my son. All I could think about when I hadn’t talked to you in two days is that I’ve been a complete asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it.”

He slowly moved closer to you, putting his hand on the counter, just inches from yours. He seemed like he wasn’t sure if he should grab your hand, especially when you had taken off your ring and packed bags. 

“I’m sorry for what I say and what I do and I want you to know, if that ever happens again, you need to call me out for it, and if you don’t, you need to realize that it’s not because of you. It will NEVER be because of you? Do you understand?”

You nodded, Aaron was still in love with you. 

“When I saw your bags packed by the front door and didn’t hear your voice and then you turned your cheek, I knew I had messed up badly. But what really fucked with me the most, was walking into our bedroom to see your engagement ring on my side of the table. That is not your fault, because I deserved to see that, especially after what I put you through. I understand 100% if you want to end our relationship because you don’t deserve what I put you through, you deserve someone who’s better than me. Someone who is always going to say something when you pack their son’s and their lunch, when you do their laundry without them having to ask, when you love them and their son when they need it most.”

You didn’t notice you were crying until he wiped your tear from your cheek. It’s only then that you both were crying, and he was upset at losing you because of hwat he’d done. You wiped his tear that had fallen and moved into his arms. 

“I don’t want to break up with you, I just, I was upset Aaron. I had a right to be. I just thought it had been something I had done and I didn’t want you to blame yourself. Blaming me would’ve been easy when you had the engagement ring. But I want to marry you. I love you, Aaron.”

He embraced you and kissed the top of your head. You were taking everything in. He loved you, for once, those voices were not going to win, because you loved Aaron and he loved you.

“I love you so much. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’m sorry how I’ve acted towards you. I promise I will never treat you like that again, and if those voices ever come back and say that it’s your fault or you’re not good enough, you tell me because I promise I will make sure those voices are wrong, because they are. You’re perfect, you’re the love of my life. You’re the best mom to Jack and I can’t wait until you’re the best wife and the best mother to our additional children.”

You kissed him and he held it just long enough for you to fall completely in love with him again, to make you forgive him, forgive yourself for thinking like that. 

“What do you say, you go change, we’ll have dinner and watch a movie?”

“It’s October. How does National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation sound?”

“You know I’m down for Christmas movies all year long. Hurry up so then I can spend the rest of the night with the man I love.”

That night was well spent with the love of your life. You watched one of your (and Aaron’s) favorite Christmas movies of all time, got to cuddle on the couch with him, and have sweet little makeout sessions, oh and words of affirmations every so often. 

You were very lucky to love a man like Aaron Hotchner, but in reality, he was very lucky to have you, the best woman he’s ever known.

[chelseyjoyce]

Angst and fluff in a fic? Yes please ^^

[marvelslut16]

New Mom

prompt number: 14 "Yes. No. I don't know."

Fandom: Criminal Minds

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader

Rating: E(veryone)

Word count: 3.1k+

Warnings: Some Beth hate. Pining. Sad Jack. Angst. Some unrequited love, but overall fluff.

A/N: This is technically a day late, but I had a funeral yesterday so please cut me some slack. I've had this idea for a while now, and fictober finally made me sit down and write. Also, It's my first time writing for CM so I have no doubt that Hotch is OOC. One last thing, this is a lot more Jack centric than I originally planned, whoops.

Jack is sitting atop Derek’s shoulders, a large sign you helped him make for his dad clutched in one hand, and the other holding your hand. Your arm is starting to hurt at the awkward position and you’re more than a little worried Jack will drop the sign and it’ll blow away in the wind before Hotch gets to the finish line. Luckily he keeps his hold of the poster board and waves it at Hotch when he crosses the finish line. 

Hotch is all sweaty and it’s next to impossible to take your eyes off of him. A part of you wants to walk up to him and just lick the sweat off of his face, but you can’t do that for a multitude of reasons, obviously.  Derek puts Jack on the ground when Hotch walks to the water table, and he grabs your hand before pulling you with him to his dad. You smile as Hotch places his medal around Jack's neck, the soft gesture proof that he’s an amazing dad, even though he doesn’t see it. 

“Did you see the sign (Y/N) and I made you?” Jack hops around in excitement, still holding your hand. You smile at the memory of laying on the grass this morning with Jack drawing stars and placing stickers sporadically while Jack did all the hard work writing out ‘go daddy go!’

“Yeah I did, Buddy,” Hotch flashes a smile at you before gazing down at Jack again. “The sign is fantastic!” 

“Look at you,” you smile widely at him, heat starting to creep up your neck when Hotch turns his attention back to you. “I knew you could do it!” 

“Yeah, you were right,” he concedes, having denied you for months now when you had confidently told him he would be able to finish the race with ease. 

“Can you say that again?” you gasp playfully, leaning towards Hotch. “I just love being told that I’m right, especially when it comes from you.”

“Oh shut up,” he barks out a real laugh, pulling you into a sweaty side hug. In that moment Jack wraps his arms around both of your waists, and for a split second you can imagine what being a family with your Hotchner boys would feel like. 

The team is coming up with places to go grab some food, but you aren’t paying attention, still reveling in the feeling of the arms around you, when a feminine voice breaks through your clouded brain. “Hotchner!” a pretty darked haired woman waves from the crowd and Hotch’s arm immediately falls from your side. 

“Beth,” he practically sighs, a genuine carefree smile over taking his face at just the mere sight of her. It’s like a cold bucket of water has been dumped on you, the cold water seeping into your clothes and into your bones, making you feel absolutely miserable as Jack’s hand is being pulled from yours. “Jack, there’s someone I want you to meet!” 

Like the sadist that you are, you watch Hotch immediately pull the woman into a tight hug, jealousy pushes down on you like a ton of bricks, and your heart starts to crack under the pressure. Sure, you knew your infatuation with Hotch, your superior, could never work out, seeing him like this with someone that isn’t you still makes you want to rip your heart out to stop the pain. While the team looks on at the spectacle in confusion, Derek turns to look at you- you can feel his eyes boring holes into the side of his head as he tries to inside of your brain. 

Hotch, Jack, and this Beth woman walk over to the group, his arm is wrapped around her back and the childish urge to cry arises. Jack immediately runs back to you, burying his face into your back, trying to hide from the awkwardness of meeting a new person. Your heart starts to crumble as Hotch informs you guys that he’s invited Beth to join the team for lunch, and Jack’s little arms squeeze your middle tighter. 

“Pretty girl and I actually have plans,” Derek announces, further confusing the team since he was so adamant about trying this new burger joint not five minutes ago. “I’ve been promising to take her to go see the new Urban Streets photography installation at the Smitsonian. So we’ll have to take a rain check on the team lunch.”

You sigh in relief at his saving you from a very awkward lunch, a lunch you’re not sure you have made it through the whole thing without crying. However, you tense up again when you feel Jack bury his face further into the fabric of your tee shirt, making no effort to move from you and towards his dad, even with the new information. 

“Can I come with you and Uncle Derek?” Jack asks loud enough that Hotch, who’s standing next to you, hears his son despite the fact that Jack’s face is pressed tightly to your back. 

You pry Jack's arms from your waist, turn around and squat done so you’re eye level with him. “Jack attack, you have to go with your dad today, but we can do something together next weeked if your dad and I aren’t on a case.”

“But I don’t wan’ ta go,” Jack whines dramatically, and you can’t hold back the smile at his cute little pout. “I don’t like her.”

“Sweetie, you just met her,” you whisper, you know Aaron is listening, but you lower your voice so Beth doesn’t start listening in too. Grabbing Jack’s hands you stare into his eyes, “you can’t judge someone that you’ve only talked to once. Your dad obviously really likes her, please give her a chance.”

“Not Judging, profiling,” Derek covers a laugh by clearing his throat, informing you that he’s listening in as well. “She’s not you, don’ wan’ like her.”

“Can you at least try? For me,” he glares at you and you know you’ve won. It’s obviously a low blow to use his love for you against him, but if Hotch is happy again you don’t want to be the reason Jack doesn’t get along with Beth. 

In the weeks since the incident at the triathlon, Hotch has pulled away from you. He’s no longer talking to you about anything besides the cases, nor is he inviting you over to spend time with Jack. Instead you're spending all of your free time with Derek drinking beers, whining to him, and taking your frustration out by demoing the house he’s currently working on.  

Little fragments of your heart start to break off when Beth is everywhere you look. She’s in a frame on Hotch’s desk, her and Jack are his lock screen, she picks Hotch up for lunch when you guys have paperwork days, and she’s at every gathering the team has. It’s starting to become too much, losing both of your boys, and having it rubbed in your face. Maybe it’s time for you to move on?

“Are you really thinking about transferring back home?” Derek asks, finally getting you alone during a dinner at Rossi’s. You had purposefully made yourself late so he couldn’t get you alone before dinner, knowing you’d get questioned and lectured since he saw the transfer request on your desktop as you two were leaving for the day.

“Yes. No. I don’t know,” you sigh, taking a large sip of the expensive wine Rossi cracked open, using the time to mull over your options. “I’m really considering it right now.” 

“So there’s nothing any of us can do or say to make you stay here in DC?” his watchful eyes on you, profiling you to see how serious you’re being. His brows furrow and it’s obvious that he can tell that you aren’t lying, you really want to leave. 

“You’re leaving?” a little voice shouts from the doorway, his voice cracking. “You can’t leave! You can’t leave me!” 

“Shit,” you mutter, whipping around from where you're leaning on the island to see the blonde take off out of the kitchen and towards the bedrooms. You follow after him without a second thought, “Jack! Jack, wait!” 

“What’s going on?” Hotch steps in front of you, face worried as he looks from you to his son, who’s slipping into the bedroom he uses anytime he crashes while the team is having dinner. 

“He overheard a conversation I was having with Derek, and he didn’t like what he heard,” you sigh as you watch the door click shut, there’s no doubt in your mind that the lock is falling into place and all you can do is watch from afar. “Please just let me handle this, let me talk to him.”

“Fine,” he lets out a long sigh, glancing at the shut door one last time before stepping out of your way. “I’ll give you twenty, if he’s not out of the room by then I’m going in.”

Ignoring his comment, you walk around him and go to the room, immediately trying the handle and finding it locked like you expected. You thump your forehead against the door in defeat, you’re heart breaking at the quiet sobs coming from inside the room. “Jack attack, please let me in,” your voice cracks at the thought of making him cry, you can feel the eyes from the team and their partners on the back of your head, all of them coming to see what your shouting had been about. 

“Fine,” Jack’s broken little voice answers, he opens the door a crack before flopping back onto the king bed. You take a deep breath walking into the bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you. 

You flop down next to Jack, both of you staring quietly at the ceiling for a minute- you counted- before you finally say something. “Please talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say,” he grumbles, turning onto his side and away from you. Your heart shatters, he’s icing you out, for the first time ever he’s not seeking comfort in your arms. 

“Jack please-” your cut off when he jumps out of the bed and away from you the moment you lay your hand on his shoulder. 

“No! You want to leave me,” his brows furrow and he looks just like his dad. But your cute observation is quickly swept to the back of your mind when you notice a fresh set of tears shining in his eyes. 

“Sweetheart, no. I don’t want to leave you,” you whisper, hands reaching out to grab his little ones, and you’re beyond thankful that he doesn’t pull away this time.

“Why would you transfer?” Jack looks so confused, you can practically hear the gears turning in his head as he tries to figure out the answer for himself. 

“Stupid grown up reasons,” you sigh, a tear slipping down your face.

“‘M so sick of hearing that,” he sighs, his voice and posture changing to mimic his father. “I’ll tell you when you’re older, you’re too young to understand, you’re just a kid. Just tell me the truth!”

“You really want to know the truth?” you know his last statement wasn’t directed specifically at you, but adults in general. Jack nods, you sigh before continuing, “I fell in love, and that person doesn’t love me back, not like I love ‘im at least. And I see him every day, it hurts so much. My heart breaks whenever I see him so happy with someone else, and I just don’t think I can do it anymore. The last thing that I want is to leave you Jack attack, but I can’t just sit there and see him everyday.”

“He works for the FBI?” Jack deduces, not really the reaction you expected. 

“Well aren’t you a little profiler?” you sniffle, wiping away tears you hadn’t realized you spilled.

“Daddy!” Jack rips the door open and takes off down the hall. Confused, you follow him, is he smarter than you think and he’s figured out who you were talking about? “Daddy, you need to fire him!”

“Fire who?” your eyes widen in shock and you freeze up, you already know what Jack is about to out your feelings, and in front of everyone. 

“The guy who broke her heart,” you miss Jack pointing at you, too busy making a face at Derek who is starting to cackle. “Please fire him, don’t let her transfer!” 

“You’re going to transfer?” Aaron looks up at you and you don’t know where to look, both him and Jack are giving you matching puppy dog eyes. The rest of the team is staring at you in confusion, minus Derek who is watching on in amusement, and Beth is watching your movements closely. 

“I started the paperwork this morning,” you awkwardly clear your throat, Jack throws his arms around your legs squeezing tightly. 

“When were you going to tell me?” vulnerability slips through for a split second, before his face and eyes harden.

“When I gave you the paperwork?” it comes out as more of a question than a statement. 

“I can’t lose another mom!” Jack cries into your thigh and your heart stops, does he really see you that way? 

Everyone starts to fade away as Jack climbs up your legs, realizing what he’s trying to do, so you scoop him up. Jack immediately buries his face in the crook of your neck, and you can feel tears falling from his eyes onto your collarbone, as well as his body shaking from the force of his sobs. You try to soothe him but all that accomplishes is causing your own tears to spill onto the top of Jack’s head. You can’t leave now, you can never leave Jack. You walk back to the bedroom without another word, assuming that Hotch will be hot on your heels since the three of you obviously have some things to discuss. 

But Hotch isn’t behind you, he’s walking to the backyard with Beth. So you shut the door behind you and try to set Jack down. But all he does is cling tighter and cry harder, so you plop yourself on the bed, leaning against the headboard. Jack quickly resituates so he’s curled up on your lap, and you just let him sit there and cry. Hotch enters the room- without knocking- around twenty minutes later, Jack’s tears have dried, but he’s still clinging to you like his life depends on it. 

“Jack,” Hotch sits on the edge of the bed, reaching out and placing his hand on his son’s back. “What did you mean out there when you said you couldn’t lose another mom?” 

“I already lost mommy,” the boy sniffles, removing his head from the crook of your neck to turn and look at his father. “And I can’t lose my new mom too.”

“Why do you see me as your new mom?” you ask lightly, and know instantly that you’ve phrased the question wrong because he tenses. “I’m not saying your feelings are wrong, sweetheart, I just want to know how you started thinking of me that way.”

“We were doing stuff in class for mothers day this week,” you watch Hotch tense up now, you know how much he tries to avoid mothers day for Jack’s sake. “The class was saying everything their mom’s do for them, and you do that stuff for me. You read to me over the phone when I can’t sleep, even if you and daddy are in a different state. You take me shopping for clothes and toys, and you always get me a pretzel when we go to the mall. You make me and Daddy breakfast and dinner when you guys aren’t working a case, and you help me with my homework when daddy doesn’t know what to do. You come to all of my soccer games and buy me ice cream after to celebrate if we won or to cheer me up if we lost. You do everything a mom does, and I love you.”

“I love you too,” you give him a big smooch on his forehead as you start to sob now, you had no idea those little things you did for him meant so much. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Jack panics when he realizes you’re crying. 

“No, Jackers, I think those are happy tears,” Hotch soothes him, and you nod vigorously in agreement. 

Jack reaches out to grab his dad’s hand, pulling him up to sit next to you against the headboard. Once Hotch is situated, Jack burrows himself between the two of you, your hand in one of his and Hotch’s in the other. “I wish you loved Daddy, then we could be a family.” Before either of you can respond, Jack is out like a light, his crying must have really tired him out. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, you still haven’t looked at Hotch once since he walked in the room, despite the fact that he’s been staring at you the entire time. 

“For what?” he asks genuinely, his free hand reaching to grab yours. “You’re like a mother to him, it’s not that surprising, you’ve clung to each other from the first moment you met. I still remember calling you one night when Haley was out of town with Jess, and Jack wouldn’t stop crying. I knew he would stop crying when he heard your voice, and he did, he always does.”

“I don’t want to get in the way of you and Beth,” you can’t control the way your voice cracks at the mention of their relationship. “Not when you’re finally happy.”

“There is no me and Beth, not anymore,” he squeezes your hand tighter, and you can't help but look at him. “We broke up, actually she broke up with me. She realized that I’m in love with you and that I was dating her so I could ignore my feelings for my subordinate, my best friend. But (Y/N), I do love you, Jack loves you, we are a weird unconventional family.”

“I love you too Aaron,” one last tear trickles down your cheek. “I couldn’t stand seeing you with Beth anymore, that’s why I wanted to transfer. But I couldn’t actually go through it, I couldn't bring myself to leave you, and I could never leave Jack.”

“You are a great mother to him, even without realizing it,” you both glance down at Jack.

“What’s next?” you ask bashfully. Hotch leans forward, his lips landing perfectly on yours, mindful not to squish the sleeping child between you. 

“A long and painful conversation with Strauss,” you giggle at his joke, leaning in to kiss him again. 

[chelseyjoyce]

What a wonderful find on fictober 🤗🤗

[honeypiehotchner]

Faking It (Hotch x Autistic!Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Just a self-indulgent, fluffy-goodness fic <3

Warnings: some sprinkles of angst, many mentions of masking as an autistic person, one bed trope, lots of fluff

WC: little over 7k

You’re good at pretending. It’s remarkable, really, the way you can be someone else. It’s a survival tactic, you think, or at least, it’s the best way you can describe it.

Instead of using the word “autism,” or “autistic,” both words that scare people away or invite them to take advantage of you, you fake it. You fake normalcy, neurotypical behaviors, anything. You blend in.

You blend in so well that not even a team of FBI profilers can tell you’re wearing a mask. The only one who can kind of tell is Dr. Reid, and that’s purely because his brain is the same as yours.

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

Reading this has made my heart full 🥺 It's an accurate depiction of what it was like when I first talking to my partner. I honestly didn't know what to feel about the situation and when we actually talked, he said he still likes me even after knowing I'm on the spectrum. So, thank you for writing this because it shows that it's possible to find a partner who understands you 🥺💕

[confused-pyramid]

While I breathe, I hope

pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!reader

summary: Aaron doesn't let people in, but when you burrow your way into his life, he finds that even the worst moments don't hurt as much...

word count: 10.1k (omg)

warnings: SMUT, oral (fem!receiving), p in v, slow burn, age gap, canon!typical violence, mentions of death, drinking, angst, so much yearning, hotch is a dilf

a/n: this covers events from the beginning of season five through the end of season seven, and includes mentions to specific episodes and cases

You can't go inside. The whole team is in Hotch's hospital room, looking at his motionless body, and your feet just won't move.

It would be one thing if he was awake and talking, but the idea of seeing him just lying there, hooked up to countless tubes and a heart monitor, makes you want to throw up.

You weren't the one who went to his empty apartment. You didn't see the bloodstained carpet or the bullet hole in his drywall. If you had, you definitely wouldn't be as outwardly calm as the team thinks you are right now.

When you got the call from Emily that his things were still in his apartment, his car still outside, you thought the worst. You’re ashamed that your mind went there immediately, but it's almost like your brain was trying to prepare you, just in case.

Your back is pressed against the wall next to his room when Derek finally emerges, an impassive expression on his face.

"How is he?" you ask, your voice reverberating around your skull like an echo chamber. "Will he be okay?"

Derek looks at you for a long moment, and you can tell he's profiling you, but you don't have the energy to gripe at him today. "Yeah, he'll be okay. We briefed him on the situation. You should go in. He's awake."

He's awake. That means he's okay.

The rest of the team files out a moment later, and JJ squeezes your arm as you finally take a step into the linoleum room.

He looks better than you would have expected, considering he's been stabbed nine times.

Fuck, was it really that many?

"Hi," you croak, your voice breaking embarrassingly as you flash him a tight smile. "You look terrible."

Hotch lets out a small laugh before wincing slightly. "You wouldn't look any better after being stabbed a dozen times."

"Look who's exaggerating now. I heard it was only nine."

Only nine. You can hardly get the word out.

"You missed Haley and Jack," he says simply, but you can tell what he's really trying to say.

Where were you when I woke up?

You swallow, knowing that the truth might be more than you can bear to disclose...because he's your boss. "I had to wrap up some things with a case."

Hotch nods slowly, but he doesn't press you further. You both know you're lying, but this isn't the time for torrid confessions. His face returns to its resting stoic expression and for a moment, he looks just like he did when you saw him for the first time.

"This lecture was supposed to start 20 minutes ago," you complain, checking your watch again. "You'll forgive me if I find it hard to believe that an agent on the Behavioral Analysis Unit has better things to do than guest lecture at Quantico."

Your friend rolls her eyes before turning to you, an exasperated expression on her face. "I actually heard they're being called onto some pretty big cases these days. Did you hear about that train that got taken hostage last month? That was theirs."

You scoff, already too haughty for your own good. Getting the highest test scores in your class has filled your head with hot air. "I'll believe it when I see it."

When Aaron Hotchner eventually walked up to the podium in front of the large lecture hall, everyone was either on their phone or talking to their peers.

He taps the microphone once and leans forward, his tall stature making him tower over the stand. "Good afternoon."

Whether it was the timbre of his voice or his self-assured nature, you couldn't be sure. But within a few moments, the entire auditorium was silent.

He starts speaking again, and his voice is the only sound filling the room. "Today I'll be discussing some the recent cases my unit has worked on, and how profiling helped us solve all of them..."

Your first thought as he begins his lecture is, 'He's handsome.' The next is a bit more professional: 'I want to have that kind of effect on a room.'

You graduate from the Academy a month later, and within the week, your application to be assigned to the BAU is on his desk.

"Can I get you anything?" you ask, suddenly eager to get out of this sterile, fluorescent-lit room. "Coffee? Jello? Tequila?"

He laughs again, but this time he manages to move less, so as not to shift his bandages. "Just water would be great."

You nod and dip you head down before leaving the room, the tension leaving your shoulders when you walk into the hall.

"He seems good," you tell the team when you find them around the corner by the nurse's station. "Really good."

"Yeah, kid," Rossi smiles, patting your shoulder. "He's a tough one."

You fill a paper cup with water from the fountain and are about to take it back to Hotch, when Emily catches your arm, taking the cup from you.

"I got it," she assures you, before shooting a nearly imperceptible glance at JJ that you wouldn't have noticed before joining the unit.

Rossi, Morgan, and Reid start walking back to the waiting area, and you move to follow them, but JJ catches your arm, holding you back firmly.

She cocks her head to the side, her eyes serious, but not unkind. "Come with me."

"Look," you say as JJ leads you to the opposite side of the waiting room. "I know I'm the youngest, but I really don't need a babysitter."

She shakes her head, motioning for you to sit down next to her. You sigh, sinking down onto the vinyl covered cushion, even though every muscle in your body wants to avoid what is coming.

"We all know you and Hotch are close," she says softly, her tone diplomatic. "We just want you to know that you're not alone, and that we're all here for you."

Close. You're not sure if that an overstatement or an understatement. He has definitely opened up to you a lot more since you joined the team, but you don't know if you can classify your relationship as anything more than professional.

A small voice in the back of mind scoffs. You can't even convince yourself.

***

Aaron can't help but feel slightly disappointed when Emily enters his room with his water, instead of you.

"Surprised to see me?" she asks conspiratorially, and he isn't sure what he's supposed to be hiding.

"No," he frowns, trying in vain to sit up a bit straighter, "I thought- well, never mind now. Thank you for bringing the water."

"We're all really glad you're okay," she tells him, leaving a soft pat on his covers. "We'll find this son of a bitch before he can hurt anyone else."

He appreciates her sentiment, but the fear he feels for Haley and Jack - his family - still burrows deep in his bones.

Emily doesn't stay long, and soon the familiar silence envelopes him once again. Ever since Haley left him, his apartment hasn't felt like home. Not really.

He started staying at work later and later, coming home only to shower and get a few hours of sleep. It certainly wasn't healthy, but after getting stabbed in the place he was supposed to feel the safest, it is all he can do to keep going.

The silences had felt safe at first, but then you started coming over, dropping by randomly when you knew he would be home, and he finally began to understand what being safe was really supposed to feel like.

You are so young, barely 27, but you are one of the best agents he has hired straight from Quantico. When your application arrived on his desk, after a thorough review from Strauss and the director, he had been certain that you wouldn't be a good fit for the BAU. But then he met you.

"You were the top of your class," he observes, his eyes trained on your file that he has laid open on his desk. 

He hasn't looked up since you sat down, but he has clocked everything about you. The way your hair is pulled back from your face, as if to present yourself fully and openly. The firm set of your shoulders as you sit forward in the chair. Even the small, loose thread on your blazer that you must have missed when you were likely inspecting your clothes that morning.

You nod, clearly proud of your academic accomplishments. Aaron is the last person who would fault someone for taking pride in their achievements, but he also can't shake the feeling that you may just be another one of the 'rich girls' he knew in law school. The trust fund kids and Senators' daughters who knew just how smart they were...and knew exactly how to use it to their advantage.

"Your academic record is quite impressive, and you scored well in physical fitness," he continues, quickly realizing that he doesn't exactly have any concrete grounds on which to reject you.

"Thank you," you smile, your hands folded in your lap. "I would love to work in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. One of my favorite classes at the Academy was in behavioral science, and I know how important the work you all do here is. I also got a chance to talk to some of the team before this interview, since I got here a bit early..." You let out a small laugh, and he can tell that it's mostly for your benefit, to lighten the tension. "...and everyone seems really nice. Agent Morgan is clearly a natural leader, especially with how he carries himself in front of the team, and Doctor Reid gave me some statistics about the rate of Academy grads who get into various fields across the agency."

You trail off as your rambling winds to a close, and suddenly Aaron isn't sure what to make of you anymore.

"Doctor Reid is a genius," Hotch agrees, before cracking the faintest smile, "but he can take some getting used to."

You shake your head, possibly misinterpreting his comment, but trying to clear the air nonetheless. "Not at all! It was incredible speaking to him. I think I learned more just this morning than I have since I graduated."

A slight flush colors the top of your chest as you gush about your experiences and Aaron finds that your curiosity and keen senses (and warmth) are the exact characteristics that will serve you well here. He is pleased that you got along with the team, and that's when he realizes there is no point in trying to find a reason to reject you.

You're already in.

***

It still hurts when he breathes in too quickly, but after three weeks of recovering in his empty apartment, Aaron is ready to return to work.

You've been keeping him up to date with the cases that the team has been working on, but it's not the same as being in the thick of it. After years of constant motion and always being on his toes, this last month of medical leave has made him feel like he's decomposing.

He only gets up to eat, shower, or, you know, and he misses being around people every day. He misses being around you.

As if his thoughts conjured you into being, a knock sounds at his door, and he gets up with a grunt when he hears your voice announcing your presence.

It takes him ages to get to the door, but once he gets it open, he sees you standing in front of him with a plastic bag in one hand and a bottle in the other. He's surprised to see you, but he's also very very pleased.

"I brought takeout," you smile, your eyes glinting in the dim light of the hallway, "and sparkling cider."

His eyebrows raise at the latter, and you roll your eyes dramatically, following him inside. "Considering all the medications you're probably hopped up on right now, I made the tactical choice not to bring alcohol over here."

He chuckles, watching as you remove containers of steaming Thai food from the bag. "A sound decision."

"How are you feeling?" you ask once you're both settled on the couch, a plate of uneaten noodles resting on your lap. "Do you think you'll be ready to come back soon?"

"It's not up to me," he sighs, his eyes following the movement of your fork across your plate. Why aren't you eating?

"Well, you can tell those doctors at St. Sebastian's that I said you look great."

His heart rate jumps before the meaning of your words sinks in. But the warm shade of mauve that flushes across your chest says otherwise.

"I just mean that you look fine," you correct, clearing your throat. "Healthy."

He nods, not wanting to embarrass you, but a fire courses through his veins as he watches the telltale signs of attraction wash over you. Darkening of the eyes, flushing of the skin, eye contact.

Aaron would be lying if he said that he never noticed the way your eyes lingered on him across the conference room. He had chalked it up to a schoolgirl crush, but could a temporary infatuation really explain the relationship that had developed between the two of you?

You were the first person he looked for when he walked into work in the mornings, the first opinion he sought out when testing a new theory. How much longer could he pretend that what he felt for you was strictly professional?

"How are Haley and Jack doing?" you ask, jerking him from his thoughts.

"About as well as you can imagine," he says sincerely, his expression falling as he thinks about how long it has been since he has seen his son. "It's tough being under constant watch."

Ever since Foyet practically called them out by name, they've been assigned a protection detail and kept away from anything to do with the case...which includes him.

"We'll find him, Aaron," you whisper, your eyes glowing with genuine earnestness. "We have to."

He nods, and only then do you finally take a bite of your food.

"I'm sorry, I just don't like red wine," you laugh, taking a sip from your chilled glass of white. "I'd much rather just have a beer."

Rossi scoffs, his "Kiss the Cook" apron lending him very little authority. "That's because you've never had real, good wine. Your $7 grocery store wines don't count either, kid."

Leaning your forearms on the island counter in the center of Rossi's kitchen, you shoot Hotch a look that says 'help me out here', but he just shakes his head, smiling at you from over the rim of his glass.

"Okay," Emily nods, taking a seat next to you. "I'll bite. Let's see this fancy red wine you've been raving about."

"Not yet," Rossi says, waving his hand at you both as he carefully stirs marinara sauce into his handmade pappardelle. "Red wine cannot be truly enjoyed unless it is taken with authentic Italiano."

It takes everything in you not to snort, but you bite your tongue and take another sip of your white wine.

"I hope you're prepared to finish what you started here," a deep voice rumbles from behind you.

Hotch comes up next to you, his hip resting against the counter as he turns to face you. "David won't give up until he gets you to concede."

"I can handle myself," you smirk, your eyes glinting with amusement. "Besides, when have you ever known me to turn away from a challenge."

He's about to say something witty, but then the edge of your lips curves up and you wink at him, and suddenly every thought he has ever had has mysteriously disappeared.

You can't stop laughing, even though it really isn't that funny. "Kevin asked you for advice on how to ask Penelope out on a date?"

Aaron nods, his lips twitching as he tries not to laugh. "He was very earnest, but I didn't think his prospective relationship with our tech analyst was more pertinent than finding a missing girl."

"He asked you in the middle of a case?!" you squeak, your hand flying up to cover your mouth as you shake with laughter.

He lets himself go a bit and a bright grin spreads across his face. Your laugh is like music and he finds that his wounds don't hurt as much anymore.

The drinks don't have any alcohol in them, but he still feels lighter than he has in months, and he feels himself wishing that you could be here with him all the time.

"Yup," he confirms, shaking his head. "Reid was with me as well, and I thought his jaw would fall off with how far open his mouth was."

"Oh my goodness," you gasp, trying to control the giggles bubbling up inside of you. "Speaking of Reid...he really needs a haircut."

This finally breaks him and Hotch lets out a loud hoot of laughter. You almost forget to worry about whether his scar tissue is hurting him, because he looks so happy for the first time in what feels like forever.

Your heart warms in your chest and as you lean back on his new couch, you realize that you would come over to his place with takeout and cider every night until the end of time if it meant he would keep smiling at you like that.

***

Your ears are still ringing even in the eerie silence. Three gunshots and a choked sob and then nothing.

Your SUV feels like it's barely moving, even though the speedometer is hovering around 90, but somehow when you skid to a stop in front of the Hotchner family home, there's only one other SUV parked out front.

You throw yourself out of the car, running as fast as you can into the house, your gun at the ready in front of you. It takes a long time - too long - to make it up the stairs, but the moment you hear the forlorn mix of thuds and sobs, you're running again.

Please let him be okay. Please let them all be okay.

You burst into the room as Hotch pounds into Foyet, his bloody face practically unrecognizable as he gets shredded to a pulp.

"Aaron," you gasp, sinking to your knees and throwing your arms around him from behind. "He's dead. You have to stop."

It takes a few more moments, but eventually his hands stop throwing punches. His knuckles are covered in blood and his hands shake violently as he leans into you, his body wracked with gut-wrenching sobs.

Tears prick your eyes as you hold him tightly, working off the futile hope that if you squeeze hard enough, all of the pain and horror will go away.

Loud footsteps reverberate around the house and you relax when you hear Emily and Derek's voices behind you. They fall silent when they see the two of you, but you're unable to focus on anything other than keeping the man in front of you in one piece for as long as possible.

"Wait," you mutter suddenly, the team's arrival bringing you back to reality. "Jack?"

Aaron's body stiffens against yours and he practically springs off the ground, pushing through all the officers and agents that have entered the house since you arrived. You race after him, following as he runs into his home office and opens a small compartment under his window seat.

When Jack's small face peers back at you, the entire house lets out a sigh of relief.

"Hey, buddy," Aaron whispers, pulling Jack into a lumbering hug.

Jack looks at all of us over his shoulder, his eyes full of a youthful innocence that tugs at your heartstrings. "I worked the case, Dad, just like you said."

"Yes," Hotch nods, the tension in his body slowly seeping away, "you did a great job, buddy."

***

The funeral is somber and beautiful, even before the snow starts falling. JJ and Will nod at you from across the lawn as you make your way along the sidewalk, a few steps behind Derek, Emily, Reid, and Rossi.

You feel a light pat on your hand and you look down to see Jack looking back at you. You press your lips into a thin smile and take his hand, trying to warm up his chilly fingers with your glove.

"Let's find your Aunt Jess," you tell him as you wade between the crowd, all dressed in black.

When Jack is safely tucked under his aunt's arms, you trudge back over to where the team is all standing together. Rossi holds his arm out and you latch onto him with a grateful nod.

"Will this ever end?" you whisper, unable to keep the pain festering inside of you for a moment longer. "The pain can't go on forever, can it?"

He brings his other hand up and lays it on top of yours, holding you to him for a small, comforting moment. 

"It will feel like forever," he sighs, his usually reassuring voice suddenly low and anguished, "but it won't be...and that's the important thing." 

Haley's casket is carried up the snow-blanketed hill and when the proceedings begin, you watch as Aaron clasps his hands together, his head permanently dipped down.

You can feel his sadness from here, and you would give anything to be able to take it away, but this isn't the time. This is the time for remembrance and appreciation of the life Haley lived. The loyal friend, the loving wife, the devoted mother.

Jessica squeezes your hand as she passes by you, and when she makes her way up to the front, Aaron begins his eulogy.

"Haley was my best friend since we were in high school..."

***

Even when it seems like nothing will ever be the same, things eventually manage to return to normal. Jessica has been helping out with Jack when Hotch is at work, but you can see the strain being a single father is putting on him.

When the team is called to a small fishing town in rural Alaska, you can feel the stress emanating off of him from being so far from Jack for so long, but he doesn't let it get in the way of the work. He never does.

"I've got four of the upstairs rooms available," Rhodes, the police chief, explains when you all arrive at the singular lodge in town.

Uh, four?

"Uh, four?" Derek asks, echoing your thoughts.

Rhodes sighs, clearly starting to regret calling us at all. "Your team is double the size of my department."

When we don't say anything, he shakes his head and bids us goodbye. "I'll see you in the morning."

When he leaves, Hotch turns to us. "Looks like we'll have to double up."

"I'm not sleeping with Reid," Derek points, shaking his head.

You stifle a laugh when Garcia immediately latches onto Derek, piping up with a "Dibs!"

By the time night falls, you end up bunking with Garcia, which works just fine for you, except for the fact that you can't sleep.

Penelope has been out like a light since everyone called it a night an hour ago, but you've been staring at the ceiling, unable to catch a wink.

A half hour later, you finally give up, grabbing your files and shutting the door quietly behind you. You tiptoe down the stairs, hoping that the small seating area in the lobby will be empty, but when it comes into view, you spot someone sitting in front of the crackling fireplace.

"I want to dance!" JJ announces, clapping her hands together as she bounces on her toes. "I love this song."

"You go right on ahead, darlin'," Will says, pressing a kiss to her temple.

JJ shoots him a knowing look that feels so familiar it makes your chest hurt. You would give anything to have that sweet domesticity with someone you loved.

"If you won't join me, then my girls will," she fires back, reaching out to grab at your hands.

Emily and Penelope start to shake their heads, but JJ looks so excited that you can't help but mirror her enthusiasm.

"Okay," you nod, taking her hand. "I'm in."

She grins back at you and shoots Will and the guys a proud look, before pulling you into the crowd with her. It's clear that she's had a couple more drinks than she should have, but as long as she's having fun, who were you to stop her?

With the bustling throng of bodies filling the bar, you can hardly believe that Rossi's favorite joint is about to close for good.

The bar is pumping a bright Abba song through the rickety speakers and you sway your hips to the melodic beat as JJ gyrates in front of you. Your eyes fall closed as you lift your hands above your head, trying to find the rhythm over the loud buzz of conversation around you.

Your eyes snap open when JJ squeals again, signaling the arrival of Derek and Penelope to the dance floor, and you grin at them as he holds her hands and twirls her around deftly.

You turn around, scanning the crowd for a familiar face - well, one in particular - when you land on Rossi, who smiles at you. You grin brightly, waving at him, but he heads to the bar to get another drink, shrewdly managing to avoid your call for him to come join you all.

Your line of sight wanders again, this time landing on the person you were looking for. Aaron doesn't smile back immediately, his gaze slightly hazy, but then he lifts his glass in a pseudo-salute, his eyes never leaving yours.

You know this isn't his usual scene, so you don't try to get him to join you on the dance floor, but when he reaches up to unbutton his collar, you feel a breathlessness you haven't experienced since your first kiss.

The rest of the bar fades away and the loud voices around you quiet to a murmur. Hands grab at your shoulders, but your body feels far away as your eyes stay locked on his, diving deeper and deeper, trying to see every inch of him.

You love him, you know you do. You can try to ignore it for as long as you want, but that won't change the truth. 

You're in love with him.

You snap back to reality when Penelope yells your name, and you shake your head, trying to clear the feelings that are rising inside of you.

Your brain feels warm and fuzzy as you return to your friends, and you're not sure if you can blame it on the alcohol anymore.

"Couldn't sleep?" you ask rhetorically as you take a seat on the well worn couch, next to Hotch. He's still in his clothes from earlier, but his sleeves are pushed back and his tie is hanging loosely around his neck.

He looks hauntingly beautiful with the firelight gleaming against his skin. You want to lean in and press your lips against his —

He shakes his head. "You too?"

You don't respond, instead reaching forward to lay your case file on the wooden coffee table.

"There's something off about this place," you eventually say, trying to describe what you've been feeling since you arrived. "I feel like something bad is going to happen."

He nods, setting down the files he was working on. "I think I understand what you mean. The kills have been so horrific, I'm shocked that the town hasn't already imploded just from trying to find the killer on their own."

"That's not- I don't mean..." you struggle to find the right words. "I'm scared for the team. I feel like we're all so strung out that one bad case, one bad outcome, could break us."

You don't know where this is coming from, and you can tell he doesn't know what to make of it either, but you're glad it's out there. Anything is better than the pit you feel in your stomach every time he - any of them - gets too close to a place they can never come back from.

Before he can react, you lean your cheek on his shoulder, a sigh of relief leaving your body as his fire-warmed skin burns into you through the thin fabric of his button-down.

This is the closest he has ever been to you, and the warmth of your smooth skin against his makes his breath catch in his throat.

He whispers your name and it comes out more like a gasp than a warning.

"Please," you breathe, turning your face so that you are looking at the fire. "Please, just...can we just sit here for a moment."

He knows what this will mean for your relationship going forward, knows that nothing can be the same if he lets this continue, but he can't bring himself to move.

The words flash in his mind before he can shut them off, and he closes his eyes, savoring them for as long as he can before reality is sure to set in.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Eventually, the fire will die out and the morning light will filter through the windows, and the world will come rushing back. But for now, it's just you two. So instead of doing what he would've done not six months ago...instead of standing up and telling you to go to bed, he stays still. Instead of stopping this at the root, before it can blossom into something he can't control, he sits there, with you at his side, for more than just a moment.

***

When Aaron pulls you aside in the hospital to explain the plan to fake Emily's death, you can barely breathe.

"You mentioned in your department file that you have contacts in Paris," Hotch is saying as you struggle to quiet the buzzing noise in your skull, "and we need them to help her lay low for a while as we figure out the Ian Doyle situation."

You remember nodding and giving him the information he needs, but everything else that happens that night is a blur. You can't remember who broke the news that Emily was gone, or where you went when you couldn't stand to be in that hospital anymore, or even how you got home.

All you know is that it takes every ounce of willpower you have not to tell the team the truth. Their gaunt faces stare back at you every morning for weeks, and somehow, at the same time, you have all the power in the world to help them, but also none at all.

You swear you can hear the crack of your heart when Spencer comes to your apartment every other night, tears spilling onto his cheeks, and at first, Aaron is the only person you can be yourself around.

But then he leaves too, and that's when the ground truly starts to cave in around you.

***

"Hey," you say softly, pressing the satellite phone to your ear. "How are you?"

Derek had handed you the phone after debriefing Hotch on the Doyle investigation, and now he was downstairs with rest of the team.

"It's getting harder to find leads over here, but we're still working," Aaron tells you, a quiet static coloring his voice. "How are...how is Jack?"

You press your lips together, trying to hold in the anger that has been bubbling up inside of you for months. "He's really good. Jessica is great with him."

Since Aaron left for his assignment in Pakistan, you have been spending more and more time with Jack. He's a sweet kid, and since you can't be there for any of your work family, the absolute least you can do is be there for a boy who doesn't have his mother or his father right now.

"Will you be home soon?" Your voice sounds different to your own ears. Tinny. Distant.

"I don't know," he says truthfully, his voice giving away nothing.

There's a pause on his end of the line and when he starts speaking again, his voice is clearer than before. "I know how hard all of this has been on you...I'm sorry."

Anger flares in your veins and you bite your lip as you hear quiet laughter filter up from the bullpen. "Hard? Yeah, it's been really damn hard to come in to work every day and lie to the people I care about most in this world."

You can hear the slight catch in his breath, but it only spurs you on. "I'm sure it's much easier to hide from the team when you're all the way across the freaking world."

He says your name, his tone not so much warning as it is fervent. Your finger moves to the 'off' button and you don't wait for his response before you mutter a quick "I have to go" and press down.

When you go back to your quiet apartment that night, the solitude feels almost overwhelming. You set your bag on your coffee table and pull your shoes off on the way to the master bathroom, where you strip off your clothes in one go.

Your shower is set so hot that steam fills the bathroom within minutes of you stepping inside. The scalding water burns away the pain and loneliness of the day, and for a few moments, you can just stand there and not think.

When you close your eyes, you can almost imagine that he's still here. That the searing rivulets that glide down your body are his fingers and that the hands that are holding you and comforting you with their warmth aren't just falling water.

It takes you a few minutes to realize that the tracks running down your face aren't coming from the cascade above you. The sobs you've learned to hold in and keep quiet start gurgling in your chest, and before you can tamp them down, they burst out in full force.

Your knees give out and you crumble to the floor of your shower. The salt of your tears mixes with the water around you and for the first time ever, you hate him almost as much as you love him.

***

Everyone looks just as confused as you do when they are called into the office extra early for seemingly no reason. You all meet in the conference room, trying to figure out what kind of case could be so secretive that none of you were briefed, when a figure appears in the doorway.

"Welcome back," Derek mutters from across the room, but you can't take your eyes off of Aaron (and his beard?).

"You're back," you exhale, equal amounts of joy and fury flooding your system.

"Everyone," he nods, motioning to you all, "take a seat."

Everyone sits down obediently, and then he dives into the speech that you have both dreaded and looked forward to for months.

"Seven months ago I made a decision that affected this team."

The lying is finally over.

"As you all know, Emily had lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle."

They look so confused. God, why can't he get to the point.

"But the doctors were able to stabilize her."

There it is. She's okay. Emily is alive, and she's okay.

"Her identity was strictly need-to-know."

They look so betrayed. You've been lying to them for months, of course they feel betrayed.

"She's alive?" Penelope asks, her voice barely above a whisper.

Spencer gapes. "...But we buried her."

Aaron closes his eyes for a moment, and you can see the emotions swirling inside of his head. Pain, anger, self-hatred.

"If anyone has any issues, they should be directed toward me."

"Who else knew?" Derek yells, his eyes brimming with hurt.

Aaron's eyes flash to you for barely a moment, but it's enough. They all turn to you, disbelief coloring their features.

"This whole time?" Reid mutters, his eyes not fully meeting yours. "You knew this whole time?"

You are spared from answering when Emily steps into the doorway, a shawl thrown over her shoulders. You know you don't deserve the reunion as much as they all do, but seeing her is still a shock.

Even though you were privy to the details of her re-assignment, you haven't seen her since that day at the hospital either. Penelope and Spencer rush forward, pulling her into desperate hugs that burn your throat with tears.

Morgan is standing still, his hands motionless on the back of one of the conference room chairs.

"Derek," you plead, trying to catch his eye. "I'm so sorr-"

He doesn't let you finish, his hand coming up in an evasive gesture. "Save it."

A sob catches in your throat and you walk out of the room.

***

Aaron's apartment building looks exactly the same as it did seven months ago, when you came to say goodbye before he left for Pakistan.

You sit in your car for what feels like hours, but when you finally step out onto the street, it's only been ten minutes.

After Hotch broke the news to the team, you went home in a haze, unsure of how you were even able to drive. Hours of sitting by yourself in the dark didn't do anything to change your mental state, and you were already in the car when you realized what was eating at you.

Now you are in front of his door and you can hear his footsteps getting closer and closer. When the door opens, you push past him, swiveling your head as you look around the apartment.

"Is Jack here?" you ask, searching for his telltale head of blonde hair.

Hotch shakes his head, clearly confused. "He's with Jess until tomorrow."

You nod, trying to formulate what you want to say in your head. There are so many words swirling around your brain, but nothing feels just right.

"What's going on?" he asks, taking a step towards you. "Are you doing okay?"

That's what breaks you.

"Am I doing okay?" you cry, your hands coming up to rake your hair back. "Emily's finally back, and I can't even enjoy it, because the whole team hates me."

"I'm sorry," he says, his brow furrowing. He takes another step toward you. "They're going to hate me too, if that makes you feel any better."

You scoff, turning away from him as you pace across his living room. "They'll never hate you as much as they hate me, because you weren't here. You weren't the one lying to their faces everyday for seven months. I was!"

He deflates, and suddenly he looks smaller than you've ever seen him before. "I'm so sorry for putting you in that position. I can't imagine how painful it would have been to lie to the team for so long."

He's saying all the right things and that only makes you angrier.

"You don't get it," you grit out, your fingers pressing into the back of your neck. "They had each other. All those months they were grieving, at least they were together. For a second, I had you, but then you left me and I was all alone."

Your voice breaks on the last word and he reaches forward as you fall into his arms, sobs wracking your body. "I missed you. When you left, I hated you, but I still missed you every day you were gone."

Your face burrows into the crook of his neck as he holds you tightly in his arms, his strong body holding you up as your legs threaten to give out. He smells different, like pepper and smoke, and you resist the urge to breathe him in now that he's finally here.

When you pull back, you stay in the circle of his arms, relishing the way his hands feel resting against your lower back. It's almost comforting to know that your body still reacts to him the same way it did seven months ago.

He's so close to you that you can feel his breath on your nose. If you tilted your head back your lips would brush his, and it takes everything in you not to give in.

But then the familiar warning bells go off in your brain and you take a step back. You aren't completely in the dark. You know that he feels something for you that isn't strictly professional, but you also know that if you lost him the way he lost Haley, you wouldn't be able to handle it. At least not with the grace that he has.

Your expression falls and his eyes fill with pain. "I shouldn't have left. I was wrong. Please forgive me."

"That's the problem," you sigh, resisting the disturbing urge to laugh at how deep inside of you he has burrowed himself. "I forgave you the moment you walked through the door."

***

Emily's return softens the blow of what you and Aaron had done, so by the time Ian Doyle is killed and the case is finished, the whole team is mostly working together cohesively again.

Spencer and Derek didn't speak more than a few words to you for weeks afterward, but when Emily made it clear that it was her life that hung in the balance, they eventually came around.

With the Senate hearings and Congressional oversight starting to take a backseat, the team was finally getting a chance to loosen up, and after investigating a serial killer in Atlanta, you all decided to make a day out of cheering on Aaron at the FBI triathlon.

Jack holds your hand as you lead him through the small crowd that has gathered by the finish line. The rest of the team is already there, leaning against the barricade, and Derek props Jack up on his shoulders when he gets to the front. He waves his big sign in the air and you grin as he cheers loudly, even though nobody has made it to the finish line yet.

"Do you see him, Uncle Dave?" Jack asks as he starts to get bored.

Rossi peers out across the trail. "Yeah, buddy, I think I do!"

You all turn to see Aaron jogging across the grassy expanse, his running form impeccable (of course). Everyone starts cheering and when he sees you all, a smile crosses his face, his eyes glinting with joy and amusement.

"Running should be illegal," you complain as Aaron pads along a few feet ahead of you, his skin barely starting to glisten while yours is covered in sweat. "How far are we now? We've definitely done at least a half-marathon."

He snorts, checking his fitness tracker. "We're halfway through the second mile."

You groan, slowing to a stop and putting your hands on your knees. "I have no idea how I scored so well on my academy physical. I'm not as young as I used to be."

"How old does that make me?" he asks, the corner of his lips quirking up.

You shake your head, lifting up a finger as you ask for another minute. "If we're talking in terms of physical fitness, you may just be younger than me, Hotchner."

He rolls his eyes good-naturedly before patting your back and nodding. "Come on, let's keep going."

You groan again, this time more dramatically, but you start jogging alongside him, making a genuine effort to keep up. "Okay, so you can run. Well, need I remind you that a triathlon has three events...my money's on the swim taking you out."

His eyes twinkle like bright stars and you have to look away, pretending that the sun's in your eyes. "I think I can handle myself. Besides, I have a much better chance of completing the swim than the bike ride at this point."

"Well," you grin, speeding up a bit to run a few steps ahead, "you know what they say about riding a bicycle!"

"Thank you guys for coming," he says sincerely after hanging his medal around Jack's neck.

"Oh, we wouldn't miss it," Derek grins, smacking him on the back playfully. 

"How do you feel?" Rossi asks.

Aaron sighs, a small grin appearing on his face. "I'll survive."

Jack patters around the group and reaches forward to grab your hand again, and you don't miss the look in Aaron's eyes when you take it. 

The sweet domesticity you wanted. This is it.

Your chest burns with tears and you clear your throat, squeezing Jack's hand and helping him roll up his poster.

"Okay, drinks tonight," Rossi announces suddenly, clapping his hands together. "On me!"

That gives you all another reason to cheer, and you lead Jack to Hotch's car as JJ loops her arm through yours.

Penelope and Derek walk a few paces behind you, arms linked, and Emily, David, and Spencer are deep in conversation about something you probably wouldn't understand.

The team feels like a family again.

Happy tears sting your eyes and you blink them away, hoping no one noticed. But when you look up to find Aaron's car, he's already watching you, and you could have sworn his eyes were glinting too.

***

The whole team is crowded around one booth in the back of the fancy bar that Rossi selected for tonight's celebration. You are squished between Aaron and Penelope, and the conversation has gone from the average running speed of adult males (Reid's idea) to how many shots would you need before you'd be willing to go and dance in front of the whole team (Emily's). 

Your empty vodka tonic is sitting on the table in front of you, condensation dripping onto the dark wood as the ice melts.

"I'm going to get another drink," you announce, before pushing past Hotch and Rossi and slinking up to the bar.

"Can I get a cosmopolitan?" you ask the bartender, who nods at you before turning around to make your drink. 

You drum your fingers against the counter as you wait, but it doesn't take long before a tall, blonde man who looks to be about your age sidles up next to you.

"What are you having?" he asks, his eyebrows raised in a way that you're sure he thinks is seductive.

"I'm already set," you tell him, turning your body away slightly, "but thanks."

"I saw you with your group earlier," he continues as you flash your eyes at the bartender in a signal you hope conveys that you need him to hurry up. "Unless you're with the nerdy one, I'm not sure what the problem is."

"The problem," you explain, your jaw clenching as your drink finally lands on the counter, "is that I'm not interested."

You grab your drink and immediately turn around, but thankfully Emily and JJ have come up to order new drinks too. Clearly outnumbered, the man shakes his head and leaves you alone.

Aaron hasn't taken his eyes off you since you got up from the booth. When a man approached you at the bar, he felt the first inkling of jealousy scrape through his bones, but your body language quickly made it clear that you weren't interested, and that you could handle yourself.

He probably should be a bit more careful with how much he watches you, especially when surrounded by a band of profilers, but sometimes, when the day comes to a close, and he's had a drink or two, his shields fall down and he allows himself a moment to just...pretend.

Pretend that what you feel for each other is something he can act on. Pretend that you are someone he can look for in a bar. Someone he can call his.  

He's lost in his thoughts when David mutters something from next to him.

"What was that?" he asks, turning his head to hear him better.

Dave repeats himself. "It's okay, you know."

Aaron frowns. "What are you talking about."

"What you feel for her...it's okay."

His brow furrows and a pained look crosses his face. They were bound to notice eventually, and he would have had to tell them at some point. If not now, when? "It doesn't feel okay all the time."

Dave sighs, his fingers running over the side of his whiskey glass. "When you're with her...does it make everything else hurt less?"

Aaron shoots him a look that's a mix between confusion and exasperation, but when he thinks about the question, all he can hear in his head is yes, yes, a resounding yes.

Dave must see it on his face, because he smiles and shrugs. "Then how can it be wrong?"

He turns to look at you again, but this time the lights in the bar feel brighter than before. The music sounds clearer and the smile on your face sets his whole chest ablaze.

When you return to the table, you finish your drink, but you don't go back for another. You've noticed Aaron looking at you here and there throughout the night, but you're not sure if it's just your imagination or if you're tipsier than you thought.

The team is laughing around you, and Aaron's thigh feels warm pressed against yours. You haven't been this happy in ages. 

***

After what has easily been the most taxing case of your life, the weekend comes to a close with an evening you have all been waiting for almost as long as JJ and Will have.

"You clean up well," you joke as Aaron walks into Rossi's backyard, where the rest of you are scattered around, talking to the wedding guests.

He's wearing a clean, black tux that fits him perfectly. 

"You think so?" he asks, the ghost of a smirk in his eyes. "You look beautiful."

You smile in response, letting him lead you to the back of the patio, where rows of folding chairs have been set up. He looks better, lighter, than you've seen him in a while. It suits him.

JJ and Will get married in an elegant ceremony that leaves no more than a few dry eyes in the audience, and when they take to the floor for their first dance, you sip your champagne from a table off to the side.

Aaron is watching Spencer do magic tricks in front of the children, and he's wearing one of his secret, dazzling smiles that he only brings out when he thinks no one is watching.

"This seat taken?"

You turn to see Emily's hand on the chair next to you, and you shake your head, smiling as she takes a seat.

"You look wonderful," you tell her, patting her hand on the table. "I'm so glad you're here. You were amazing this weekend. This wedding wouldn't be happening without you."

She laughs, taking a sip of champagne. "I'll be sure to tell Will you said that."

You chuckle, settling into a comfortable silence that is only really possible with people you know as well as you know this team. 

Emily adjusts her dress and you think she's going to get up and re-join the group, but then she takes you completely by surprise. "You should go for it."

You look at her, confused. "Huh?" 

Deep down, you know what she's referring to, but if you can play dumb for a few more moments, you won't miss out on the opportunity.

"You and Hotch. You should go for it."

You open your mouth to respond, but she gets up and leaves you to mull over her words.

When Rossi asks everyone to join the newly married couple on the dance floor, you assume that you'll just hang off to the side with Reid, but then you get your second surprise of the night.

"Care to dance?" 

Aaron holds his hand out, only mostly certain that you will accept. When you take his hand, he's as much relieved as he is pleased, and he leads you out into the center of the clearing.

Your hand finds his shoulder as his slips onto your waist, and you fall into an easy rhythm as you look up at him, a smile on your face. You look radiant under the twinkling fairy lights, and he has to tear his eyes away from you when you lean in closer to rest your chin on his shoulder.

His arms envelope you as your chests press together, your breaths going in and out in unison.

You peer over his shoulder, watching as Derek and Penelope laugh in the corner, and Emily tries to teach Spencer how not to step on her feet. 

"Jack looks happy," you whisper as your eyes land on the children playing off to the side. 

"He is," Aaron agrees, and you can hear the smile in his voice. After a pause, his head dips down and his cheek presses against your temple. "We are."

***

When the night comes to a close, you are looking for Emily, since she drove you to Rossi's house, but a pat on your shoulder stops you in your tracks.

"I can take you home," Aaron says, his eyes filled with an earnest look that has you nodding before you can even process the offer.

The car ride is nearly silent during the short trip back to your apartment, but when he pulls up in front of your building, you can't bring yourself to open the door.

You can feel a tension in the air, the same one that has been building for years, and for some reason, tonight, you're not scared of it anymore.

"Aaron..." you whisper, turning to look at him, but he cuts you off.

"I love you."

Your breath leaves your lungs and you open your mouth to say it back, but he keeps going.

"I'm not some young player anymore," he says, a breathy chuckle leaving his mouth as he speaks. "I think you know what I feel for you. I think you've known for some time."

You've forgotten how to speak. "I didn't know for sure."

"I know why you never brought it up," he whispers, his voice tight with emotion, "but even though she's gone, I know she wouldn't have wanted me to be alone forever."

None of the words floating around your brain seem good enough, and you can't think, so you just lean forward and kiss him.

His lips are softer than you imagined, and after a moment of indecision, he reaches up and threads his fingers through your hair, holding you against him. The kiss is sweet and it feels like the perfect start to something new and fresh, but then his tongue slips along the seam of your lips, and you gasp, heat shooting down to your core.

"Aaron," you gasp against his mouth, your hands gliding up his chest and over his shoulders. "Let's go inside."

He pulls back momentarily, and there's a small smudge on his lips from your lip gloss.

You throw open the car door and practically speed-walk to the elevators as he follows closely behind you. It takes years to get up to your apartment, but when you finally get the door open, you're on him again, your lips pressing against his and your hands tangled in his thick hair.

A groan rumbles in his throat when you tug slightly, and he grips your waist, moving you back and lifting you onto the couch. 

"You'll tell me if it's too much," he says frantically, his voice low and strained. "If you want me to stop and take it slower, you just have to say it."

You shake your head, pulling him down on top of you. "I've waited for this for years. I'm not going anywhere."

He smiles against your skin, peppering slow kisses down your jaw as your eyes fall closed and pleasure melts down your spine. His hands are firm on your waist, holding you tightly as though he's afraid you'll disappear if he lets go.

Aaron's ministrations are slow and careful, and you quickly become impatient, your body squirming as you implicitly beg for more. You're practically vibrating under him when he lifts his knee and presses into you, his lips moving in unison with his body as he applies a glorious pressure that has you gasping into his mouth.

Where did he learn to do that?

Heat swells in your abdomen and you pull back, your eyes wild and your chest heaving.

"What is it?" he asks, his forehead furrowing. "Are you okay?" 

"I need more," you exhale, reaching down to grab at the hem of his shirt.

You yank open the buttons and slip it over his shoulders, reveling at how beautiful he looks on top of you. When his mouth returns to your chest, you keen against him, your legs pressing together as you try to ward off the pleasure rising inside of you.

Aaron reaches down and tugs the bottom of your dress up, yanking upward until it's over your head. Your hair cascades down, splayed out around your face like a halo, and he can't imagine that any angel would look prettier than you do right now.

"You're so beautiful," he mutters, pressing open-mouthed kisses down the valley of your breasts and along your stomach.

The sensation is not enough, but the sheer anticipation of where he's heading has your whole body tingling. 

He takes his time, kissing the soft skin of your inner thighs and working his up around your core until he finally dives in. His hands takes your calves and lift them onto his shoulders as he licks a thick stripe up the center of your cunt.

You writhe against the smooth couch, your hands grabbing onto his hair for some semblance of support as he thrusts his tongue inside of you, his nose bumping against your clit with an infuriating rhythm. 

Aaron moves his tongue with the movements of your body as he painstakingly avoids the one place you are begging for him to go. Your hand tightens in his hair and he groans, creating satisfying vibrations that make you shudder.

Just when it seems like it may never be enough, he laves over you, sucking at your clit with a lewd, wet sound that makes you moan so loudly, you shock even yourself.

He hums with pride and your hips fly off the couch, trying to get closer and closer as you near the precipice of all the pleasure that's been building up. He sucks you into his mouth one more time and you fall over the edge with a strangled cry.

His hands press into your abdomen, trying to keep you still so that he can keep working at you, but pleasure rolls over you as your body spasms below him. You lift your head slightly as you come down from the high, and you see him pushing himself into the couch, his eyebrows pinched in a strained expression.

When the shudders finally abate, Aaron crawls back up your body, a big grin eating at his face. He plants another kiss on your mouth and the taste of yourself on his tongue makes you whimper.

"I want to feel you," you gasp between clashes of teeth, "inside me."

He freezes and you're afraid you may have gone too far, but then he's tugging off his pants and you can't help the small smirk that flashes across your face.

When he's fully bare, your mind goes blank and you move to reach down and take him in your hand, but he just shakes his head, pushing your shoulder back gently to lay you down again. 

The apartment is silent except for low grunts and harsh breathing as Aaron enters you slowly, pushing forward until he is seated fully inside of you. His size is impressive and it takes a few moments for the initial sting to dissolve into white, hot pleasure.

He takes his time to let you get adjusted, but when you grit out a "please, move" he doesn't wait another second. His thrusts start slow, because he wants to work you up until you're writhing beneath him, but when he peers down at you, his breath leaves his body.

You are everything he imagined, and he can feel you everywhere, from the flush of his cheeks to the tingling of his toes. You look like a dream below him, one he never wants to wake up from.

Aaron pushes into you, harder this time, and a barely constrained bliss fills your eyes, a cocktail of desire and hunger mixing to create the greatest possible pleasure he can imagine.

You squeeze around him like a vice grip, and a deep, low sound rumbles in his chest, stuttering his movements.

Your legs shake as he runs his hand up your thigh, before lifting it up and around his waist. The new angle hits a deeper spot inside of you and you let out a moan so beautiful that he can't resist dipping down to press his lips to yours. 

You tighten around him once more and he can tell how close you are, so he speeds up his thrusts, creating a rhythm that has you shuddering against him. You reach your climax a moment later and with you falling apart below him, he thinks that he finally understands what it means to have everything you could ever want.

After a few more thrusts, he spills into you, his arms the only thing holding his body up as all energy flows out of him. He rests his forehead against yours and his breath stutters as he falls onto the couch beside you.

You may be completely spent, but you're not ready to be away from him yet, so you tuck yourself into his arms, practically on top of him as he wraps himself around you.

"I love you too," you whisper, ghosting your lips over his pulse.

Aaron sighs out a breath of contentment and he pulls you closer to him, unable to let go just yet. Emotions that he finally understands rise up inside his body and for the first time in a long time, he lets them wash over him.

This is it. This is what home feels like.

[chelseyjoyce]

I absolutely am in LOVE with this. Worth the read for sure! 🥺💕

[honeypiehotchner]

We Used To Be In Love (Hangman x Fem!Reader) -- part two

I know it’s late but I want to post this already soooo hi

This series is quickly becoming another favorite of mine😭 I listened to “From Austin” by Zach Bryan basically on repeat while I wrote this one. Don’t you dare listen to it and imagine it from 18-year-old!Hangman’s POV (do it, it’s so sad)

Summary: You and Jake were high school sweethearts, on track to get married and have a family. When Jake left for basic training for the Navy, he decided you had to be left behind. What neither of you knew was that he left two behind, not just one.

Warnings: angst angst angst

WC: 3.3k

After dropping Amelia and Belle off at school, you run some errands before deciding to head into The Hard Deck to do a little bit of cleaning. Penny told you not to open the bar while she’s gone, to give yourself a vacation, too, but you need something to do.

When you pull into the parking lot, Jake is already there.

It takes everything in you not to turn around and leave.

“What are you doing here?” you ask. Maybe it’s a little harsh, but you genuinely want to know.

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

I literally have not seen the new Top Gun, yet I love this Hangman fic. Goodness gracious this story is so goooood. Reid is such an amazing writer as always 🥺💕💕

[honeypiehotchner]

Unconventional (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part twenty

Some more drama! The smut is coming back, don’t worry! (Next chapter ;))

Warnings: angst and fluff, but that’s all :))

You don’t stay mad at Aaron for long, as expected.

He calls you on your way to the library after your classes, and you welcome his company. You even take the long way around the block, giving the two of you an extra few minutes to talk.

“Five is kind of early for dinner, don’t you think?” you ask. “Are you sure?”

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

Hello, everyone!

At last, there is some answers to this spectacle and something so great in it also. The comments in the last couple of chapters were so good 😂 I hope you enjoyed this chapter and stay tuned because it will become wonderfully bumpy from here. ^^

Happy reading!

[honeypiehotchner]

Hey, Reid! I actually have an idea for a headcannon or one-shot. So, I love how realistic your writing is because you tackle a lot of topics (PTSD, sexual assault, etc.) Can you do one on how Hotch were to react if he gets into an argument with y/n and sees her flinch when he tries to raise his hand to rub his face because she thought she was gonna get hit? Like, I think he would be so concerned for her and tries to reassure her that he won't hurt her like her ex did. I saw this based on a tik tok on how each bau member would react if they see y/n flinch during an argument. If this is a too touchy subject to do, I will understand, and if you wanna do it with a gender neutral partner instead, that works too ^^

Thank you so much for this request bby!! I loved writing this dose of fluff xx.

Also I think this is pretty gender neutral, but he does call reader “Honey”!

Small disclaimer that everyone’s PTSD looks different and this is not the sole decider of how PTSD has to affect you to be “valid.” This is just a depiction and I did draw from my own personal symptoms (especially the “being okay right after a freak out” because lord knows I suppress shit and let it get me days later)

HOTCH MASTERLIST || MAIN MASTERLIST

Down to Earth

You’ve been with Aaron for what feels like forever, but really has only been a little over a year. In this year, you’ve felt more at peace with him than you’ve felt in any other relationship.

But like every relationship, nothing is always perfect.

The two of you haven’t had a single argument -- until now.

You’re a fairly understanding person. When he has to leave suddenly for a case, you don’t mind. When he gets caught up in work and suddenly it’s almost nine at night and he’s still at the BAU, you just laugh. When he wants to go everywhere possible with you because he’s having a hard day with his anxiety (even if he won’t admit it), you let him follow you around like your personal bodyguard.

You knew what you signed up for when you took things further than a few dinner dates. You understand.

Which is why tonight’s argument is so stupid.

“I just need a straight answer. That’s all.”

“I don’t know what else you want me to say,” you shrug. “I literally don’t care, Aaron.”

“I don’t want to make all the decisions,” he replies. “I want you to have some say.”

“But I don’t mind it if you make the decisions.”

“It feels one-sided, and I don’t want that.”

“It’s fine, I swear.”

“I can see on your face that it’s not.”

“Don’t profile me, we talked about this.”

“I’m not profiling you, I’m just trying to get you to tell me the truth for once.”

“Well, I--”

Your sentence stops abruptly when you gasp, flinching, raising both of your arms in an X in front of your face.

And just like that, the argument is dropped.

All Aaron had done was raise his hand to run his fingers through his hair. But in the midst of an argument -- and on one of your worse days with your PTSD -- you legitimately thought he was pulling his hand back to hit you.

“Y/N…” He slowly lowers his hand, gaze softening when he hears you sniffling. “Honey…”

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, your arms still raised. You know he would never, ever hurt you, but you can’t move them. You’re trying, but it’s like all your muscles have tensed, refusing to let you move. “I won’t do it again, I’m sorry,” you say, rushing your words now. “Just please, don’t…”

It’s not until Aaron hears these words leave your lips that he realizes you’re not here right now -- at least not in your mind.

He doesn’t know anything about your past relationship. He put a few pieces together and knew it wasn’t necessarily a happy relationship, but he had no idea it was that bad.

“Y/N, it’s Aaron,” he pauses, mind reeling, trying to figure out how to get you back. “Can you hear me?”

“I won’t-- I’m sorry, please--”

“Y/N, you’re at my apartment with me. Can you open your eyes?”

You hear his voice this time and you open your eyes, a gasp falling from your lips as you yank your arms down to your sides. “I’m so sorry--”

“What are you apologizing for?” He asks softly. “You have no reason to apologize, Y/N.”

“Okay…” You say, flexing your fingers to ease some tension. “Well, still, about--”

“No, no we don’t need to talk about that anymore,” he shakes his head. “It’s not a big deal and I think this is more important.” He pauses. “But if you don’t want to talk about it, I...I completely understand. No pressure.”

You exhale, balling your hands into fists. “We can talk.”

“Okay. Wanna sit down?” He gestures to the couch.

You nod.

“Can I sit next to you?” He asks, and you’re grateful for his ever kind heart.

“Of course,” you smile. “Please.” And when he still sits a little too far away, you tug him closer. “You’re not going to break me.”

“I know that,” he says, smiling when you take his hand. “Are you okay?”

You have no idea how, but you are. “I am. I’m sorry I freaked out.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” he says again, sandwiching your hand between both of his. “You can’t control your reactions.”

He’s right, even though you have suppressed them for a very long time. “I try to. I don’t want to scare you.”

“I don’t want to ever scare you,” he says, squeezing your hand. “I’m sorry that I did.”

“It wasn’t you.” He gives you a look with a hint of disbelief. “Okay, it was the sudden movement, I think. With your hand.”

“Okay,” he nods. He had already pieced that together, but now isn’t the time for him to talk about how he silently profiles you. “I’ll be more conscious of that.”

“Honestly,” you chuckle, “I’m not sure how you haven’t pieced it all together before now.” You pause, looking up from his hands. “Have you? Be honest.”

“Some things,” he admits. “Little things. Your problem with eye contact and agreement to everything -- and I should not have approached the topic that way. We’re both tired and that wasn’t the correct way to talk about it.”

“It’s…” He raises his eyebrows and you stop before you can say okay. “Right. I see now.”

“I gathered that the relationship, whatever it was, wasn’t healthy, but I never wanted to bring it up until you were ready. And I know it goes without saying, but I want to say it anyway. I will never lay a hand on you. I promise.”

“Thank you,” you murmur, lifting your free hand to stroke his cheek. “You have been so kind to me and I never know what to do with myself.” You shake your head slowly, smiling. “It’s like every time I start floating away, you’re right here, pulling me back down to earth.”

He lets go of your hand to wrap his fingers around your wrist, keeping your hand on his cheek so that when he turns his head, he kisses your open palm. “I’ll always be here to pull you back down.”

You let some silence pass before you say what you’ve been hiding all this time.

“He used to hit me,” you whisper. “It’s why it had been five years since I went on a date. Honestly, if Dave didn’t speak so highly of you, I don’t know that I would’ve even said yes that night. But I’m glad I did.”

“I’m glad you did, too.”

You smile softly. “Everything about you is so different from what he was. You’re such a gentle giant, you know that?”

He chuckles at the new description. “I guess I do now.”

“I just want you to know your gentleness never goes unnoticed or unappreciated. I love it. It makes me feel safe and loved and cared for. And I’m not used to it at all yet, but...I hope I’ll get there.” You pause. “I was having a rough day today with flashbacks and things. Today was our anniversary, but none of them were ever good, so I’ve been on edge.”

“Honey…”

“Even though I know nothing will happen because he’s gone and nothing bad has happened on this day for six years, it still… I still can’t shake it.”

“Well, let’s do everything we can to make the rest of this day the best day,” he says. “Let’s order your favorite for dinner. You pick the movie, and we can sit on the couch until we want to go to bed.”

“And then?”

“And then…?” He waits for your answer.

“And then...you make sweet love to me all night and go into work late tomorrow?” You add a shy grin, hoping to convince him.

But he needs no convincing. “Gladly,” he says, leaning forward to kiss you sweetly, softly, pulling you back to earth, weighed down with all his love.

[chelseyjoyce]

OHHHHH.... MYYYYYY..... GOOOODNESS GRACIOUS, THIS WRITING IS JUST PERFECT. 🥺🥺🥺 "I'll always be here to pull you back down" is my favorite line in this entire one-shot 🥺🥺💕💕 I love how you address very heavy topics so realistically and in this piece, you tackled both interpersonal violence (IPV) and PTSD in this piece so perfectly. And if anyone is experiencing or knows someone who is currently experiencing (IPV) aka domestic violence, please remember that there are people who are willing to help and there are so many resources that are available to help those in those predicaments. You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, where you can find out how you or your friend/loved one can be assisted. Stay safe and have a wonderful day everyone!

[honeypiehotchner]

YOU ARE TOOOO KIND TO ME!! ILY

Tysm as always for your kind words <3

[chelseyjoyce]

So someone from the asks was looking for this and gonna re blog my post so my Reid can have it ^^

[honeypiehotchner]

Unconventional (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- part nineteen

I have nothing to say because Chelsey and I have been WAITING for this part so I’m simply going to let y’all just have it while I go do some writing🤪 Love ya!

Warnings: angst :( 

You’re still half asleep when you’re boarding Aaron’s private jet the next morning.

He got you up and out of the hotel in a rush, saying that he had work to get back to, and you had classes, and so on. You were too tired to bother questioning him.

Now, just an hour away from home, you’re trying to pry information out of Aaron — and it’s like pulling teeth.

Keep reading

[honeypiehotchner]

Want to join the taglist? Click here!

Unconventional Tags: @chelseyjoyce @lanea-1 @sunflowersandotherthings @less-intelligent-spencerreid @honeyand-roses @kathleenjasmine @rousethemouse @brookeneilsonx @ive-got-more-wit @nutmegroo1514 @anxious-enby @perlaromero @bauhousewife @silver-fixation @tessinatoren @perlaromero20014 @aleck-cross @futuristictacosalad @yeehawbitchs @drakelover78 @panhoeofmanyfandoms @prettylittlemoonlight @ssahotchswifemain @mylovelysnowflake @avenging-criminal-bones @softcabur @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @meghan-maria @errorcosplay67 @ssamorganhotchner @timelesstay @pipersaccomplice @mintphoenix @24-martie @themoontoyourshine @angelic-kisses13  @sebbyhubbystan @emlynblack @ssaalliewinchester @usemelucifer @sunnysaysbookreviews @hotchababy @chloeinlondon2021  @meghannnnnn @maraudersandco @nerdcc-1701 @itsmytimetoodream @dragonclaw-vvitch @exmachina187 @mayasreadingnook @wheelsupkels @dr-juliaogden @indigo-kanae @randomwriter1021 @catgirlpwr @zetasaturno99 @outlawedmando @basicvulcanqueen @hotched @lovelyvante @ashhotchner @ssa-daddyhotchner @sagephoenixeros @mypurplecrocs  @jareauswife @shinebrightlikeafanbase

[chelseyjoyce]

ANGST THURSDAY!!! 👀👀👀

Looking forward to all the reactions to this chapter since this arc is gonna be a fantastic one.

Have a lovely reading everyone!

[honeypiehotchner]

Unconventional (Hotch x Fem!Reader) — part eighteen

Ah yes, the beginning of the drama. Hope you guys are ready for shit to hit the fan from here on out <33

Reminder that the woman in the picture is not how I have the Reader depicted in the story because the Reader is YOU xx.

Warnings: smut, fingering, (kind of) possessive!Aaron, ANGST

Previous chapter || Fic Masterlist || Hotch Masterlist

You’re barely able to make it out of the hotel room the next evening.

“Aaron,” you breathe, half scolding, and half not wanting him to stop. You’re pressed against the wall next to the door, well aware of how late the two of you are. “Aaron, I don’t have time to cover up anymore marks.”

“I don’t care,” he says, his lips trailing up your jaw and to your cheeks, his breathing ragged. “I shouldn’t have packed this dress,” he mutters under his breath.

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

HELLO EVERYONE! Sorry, I have been inactive lately because of my job.

Also, BESTIE, this is one heck of an introduction to a character I have been WAITING to come into the story.

I hope you are excited as I am for this because... this is only a snippet of the parts to come.. and it'll be my favorite arc of this story. STAY TUNED AND HAPPY READING 😁👀

[writefasttalkevenfaster]

GUESS WHO OFFICIALLY PASSED ALL THEIR CLASSES AND IS GRADUATING FROM LAW SCHOOL 😭😭😭😭

THIS GIRL

[chelseyjoyce]

WOOHOO, CONGRATS!!! 💕💕💕

[ladylibby]

As it Seems - Thirteen

Masterlist |  As it Seems Masterlist

Summary: The BAU is accustomed to change – different cases every day, agents coming and going, roles changing – so the addition of a new member, an Administrative Liaison, should be no different. But the moment you arrive, everything changes for the better (Hotch just doesn’t realize it at first)…

Chapter Summary: The clock is ticking…an eye for an eye. 

(A/N: Surprise! I didn’t want to keep you all waiting any longer for the conclusion of the kidnapping arc, so here’s an early update! There’s a lot happening in this chapter so I’ll just shut up now and let you read…if you haven’t already skipped over this author’s note ;D)

She looks familiar. The woman— the unsub who took you, you’ve seen her somewhere before. 

You try to figure out who she is and how you know her to distract from the pain throbbing in your head and the panic threatening to take over your body. 

She paces behind the camera, which has been switched off since she recorded the video, muttering and mumbling to herself. You catch only every few words, “took him, it’s only fair, wait until, hear something soon, send another message,” but it’s not enough to understand more than what she made clear earlier– if she doesn’t get what she wants, she’ll kill you.

She strips off the black hoodie she’d been wearing, revealing a black tank top underneath, and, more noticeably, her incredibly muscular form. Her shoulders are broad and strong, her arms defined by biceps and triceps and veins. No wonder she was able to carry you from your apartment to…wherever you are now. 

You look around the space, desperate for some clue, some indication of place, something to ground you. If you can figure out where you are, maybe you can figure out how to escape. 

You’re in a basement, you know that. There are stairs across from you. Various tools hang from nails on the wall beneath the stairs, rusty and jagged and you hope they’ll stay exactly where they are. 

A folding table is set against the wall to your left. Papers are strewn across it, but even craning your neck, you can’t see all of them. You can see the wall though, and all the pictures tacked onto it— pictures of you. They’re all taken from afar, like paparazzi shots, with part of a car window or a plant in the frame, but never obscuring the main subject. There’s one of you and Garcia, out for coffee at the café in Quantico Station, both laughing at something. There’s one of you and Reid, walking through the Quantico parking lot together, talking. There’s one, taken outside of Rudy’s last week, of you, Morgan, JJ, and Prentiss. Morgan’s arm is draped over your shoulders as the two of you walk in step with the couple, their hands held with fingers intertwined. There are several of you and Hotch. One outside your apartment, of you smiling as you approach his car. One taken moments after the one with Morgan when you’d hung back to say a tipsy “thank you” to the unit chief for driving you all week. One taken from behind, of you and Hotch walking into Quantico, his hand on your back. 

There’s one photo you’re not in. It’s Hotch and Rossi, walking somewhere, but you don’t know where. Only a sliver of the building they’re approaching is visible, tall, nondescript cement. All you know is that it isn’t Quantico. 

You tear your gaze away from the photos, stomach clenching at the notion of this woman observing so many moments you thought were private, of how much she seems to know about you, and how little you know about her. 

There’s a clock on the opposite wall. According to its steadily ticking hands, it’s just past three in the morning. Three hours since she contacted the BAU, and twenty-one hours until the deadline– until she kills you. 

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

I could not breathe properly until I read this chapter. UGH, SUCH GOOD ANGST, I LOVE IT!

[honeypiehotchner]

Memories (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Definitely a vent piece. If you’ve seen my other posts, you know I got broken up with completely out of the blue a month ago. I’ve been dealing with it/processing it/trying to make sense of it ever since it happened, and writing this helped that. Just wanted to say thank y’all for being a community I can share stuff like this with 💛💛 It means more to me than you’ll ever know

Also! I jammed out to “Memories” by Conan Gray and “All You Had To Do Was Stay” by Taylor Swift while writing this, but “Memories” is a shorter title so I went with that instead ahaha

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort (and a happy ending :))

Garcia was the only one who knew. Purely because of the fact that she was with you when you got broken up with. 

The two of you were in the middle of a movie marathon when you got the call and the dreaded, “Can we talk? Right now?”

You knew what was going to happen before it did. You had a gut feeling that you couldn’t ignore.

Garcia waited upstairs in her apartment while you met your ex outside on the sidewalk. She watched through her window to be sure you were okay, but she knew you weren’t the second your ex showed up.

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

THIS ANGSTY FLUFF IS WHAT I NEEDED TODAY 😭💕

[honeypiehotchner]

y’all may hate me for saying this but i made it to the middle of s11 of criminal minds and i just…cannot watch anymore lmao

maybe i’ll finish it one day, but for now i’m back to s1 and am beginning my rewatch

s11 just wasn’t doing it for me and i miss the early seasons with my whole heart

[chelseyjoyce]

OH MY GOSH, YES. THIS IS A REAL MOOD. Every time I have done a rewatch of Criminal Minds, i always get stuck on season 11. Maybe because Hotch's story gets too downgraded at that point. I FEEL YOU BESTIE. I DOOOOO

[hoe4hotchner]

Chapter 16 - 3 months

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Summary: In an upper-class residential Virginian neighborhood, monogamous values rarely get broken. A dangerous serial killer chooses to lay into dormancy exactly there for the next five years with his latest victim. Or for as long as it takes to catch him. Two highly trained and widely different agents go undercover, posing as a married couple to scope him out and make the arrest. They’ll be nothing more than professional for months, working under the same roof.

Word count: 1.6k

Warnings: fluffy luffy cutenesss!!!!!

A/N: Blarrrrghhh there’s only one more real chapter left after this!!!!

Not be waking up in a cold sweat at 1am cause I forgot that I promised to post this last night.

Masterlist

Gif credit: ???

Keep reading

[chelseyjoyce]

I have binged read up to this point and I was sobbing by the time I got to this chapter. 😭 I am so in awe by this story omg 💕💕