Pairing: Rafael Barba x Reader
Warnings: BRIEF SMALL TINY MENTION OF SUICIDE (not main character) mutual but oblivious pining, crushing, FLUFF
A/N: all !!! the !!! feels !!!
Based on the song Dandelions by Ruth B
"Maybe it's the way you say my name.
Maybe it's the way you play your game.
But it's so good, I've never known anyone like you ."
The whole squad knew you and Rafael liked each other, that much was for sure. It was obvious, with the flirty banter constantly echoing between the two of you. In fact, they were sure that everyone knew, except the two of you. The looks the two of you managed to sneak at one another when the other's back was turned made the squad's hearts swell. The problem was, the two of you were convinced that the other was just being overly nice. How could you not? A new detective and the star ADA? It was asking for trouble and paperwork that you were sure that neither of you wanted.
That didn't change Rafael's slight obsession with you from growing with every waking moment. You had a heart of gold, and your genuine kindness was one of the things that made you an asset to the team. You had a way with victims, your pure sunshine convincing even the most stubborn of them to confront their abuser in court. He admired how much courage you gave these women to share their story.
You of course were no better, with your favoritism for the man. You brought him coffee when he stayed late, even dinner if you had enough time to grab it. His assistant, Carmen, had picked up on this and eventually she figured out that the two of you liked each other. She made a point to grab your number and to text you if the man was having a particularly harsh day, in which you would swing by with coffee for the rescue. The squad had taken bets one day, trying to figure out when and which one of you would finally crack and admit it.
Carisi had taken the long bet, committing to over 6 months from that point and that it would be Barba. Liv and Amanda, the hopeful romantics, wagered on Barba spilling in 2-3 months. Fin, to everyone's surprise, bet on you in 2 weeks, hoping the two of you would just bonk already. They each placed twenty dollars into an envelope that got tucked into Olivia's desk and not another word was spoken about it, until 3 weeks later.
"And I see forever in your eyes
I feel okay when I see you smile."
This case had been especially hard on everyone. The weight of it, however, had fallen particularly hard on you. You had pushed and pushed the victim to testify, convincing her that it would help assuage her pain. She ultimately had, but the defense had torn her to shreds on the stand. After leaving the courtroom, the victim drove home and threw herself off the roof of her building. You had lost it when you reached the scene, convinced it was your fault. Carisi had to hold you up and drive you back to the precinct to calm down, too afraid to drive you home to be alone. Barba obviously had seen the whole thing, his heart shattering at the cries leaving your body.
He had made a point to return to the precinct with Liv to discuss what they were going to do from this point forward. When he entered, he saw you cuddled into Carisi's side, sipping on coffee, wearing police issued sweats. Rafael's heart was set aflame at the sight of you snuggled close with someone who wasn't him. That was supposed to be his job, and here was Carisi stealing the light from him. He didn't even get a chance to fight the urge before he rushed over to you two.
"(Y/N), are you okay? You know this isn't your fault," he rushed out.
You sighed deeply, beginning to reply before Sonny cut you off, "(Y/N)? Since when are you two on a first name basis?"
"I'm okay, Counselor, thank you. I just didn't expect her to do that. I really thought I had gotten through to her in the hallway after her testimony. I told her that she had nothing to worry about," your voice trailed off as the tears resurfaced in her eyes.
Carisi began rubbing your back again, trying to coach you through another episode. Barba drank in the sight, his eyes narrowing in anger. If he disliked the man before this incident, the hatred was only intensifying by the second. He huffed before muttering that he'd be right back and marching off into Liv's office.
Your eyes crinkled in confusion, dismissing the man's weird behavior as stress from the case. But, Carisi knew better, because he knew exactly what was running through Barba's head at the moment. Carisi excused himself, claiming to need to use the restroom, leaving you in your lonesome. It wasn't a few more minutes before Rafael had returned from your boss's office before taking a seat next to you. Unbeknownst to you, the ADA and Olivia had not been talking about the case, but rather, you.
"(Y/N), talk to me. Are you really okay," he asked softly, turning to you.
"Well of course not. This is at least partly my fault. I pushed her to her limit and then forced her in front of Buchanan. I did this to her," you muttered out, tears streaming down your face.
Rafael reached a shaky and nervous hand out to you, beginning to rub your back with just the pads of his fingertips. His heart hammered in his chest, sure that you were going to freak out at him touching you. You, much to his astonishment, relaxed into his touch, allowing his hand to make full contact with your back. You were just as nervous as he was, hoping that you weren't crossing some sort of line with the older man. He moved again, this time to move your hair out of your face. You looked up at him through your eyelashes, making eye contact with him.
The moment seemed so right to you, with him staring into your eyes. You knew that if you didn't take the chance now, that you were going to end up missing it all together. You leaned in slowly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, letting yourself linger for a moment before pulling away. The look of pure shock on his face was enough to make you jump to your feet, mumbling an apology before rushing off to the bathroom, bumping into Carisi on the way. He looked down at your figure on the ground before you got up again and rushed off.
When Sonny reached the squad room, he saw Barba sitting still in shock in the spot Carisi had previously been. Carisi stalked over to the sitting man, a fury in his eyes.
"What the hell did you say to her Counselor," he questioned urgently, worried about his friend.
This snapped the counselor to reality, finally, "Which way did she go, Carisi?"
"What do you mean? She ran off towards the restroom. What happened?"
With this the ADA took off, running in the same direction you did. Carisi's eyes widened as he realized what was going to happen. He turned on his heel, stalking off towards the Lieutenant's office.
"Lieu, (Y/N) took off, and Barba actually ran after her. I mean he really took off. I think it's happenin'," He giggled like a child.
Liv simply smiled and nodded, "I hope that it does. I may have tried to talk some sense into him. I am just so tired of watching those two pine for each other."
You were pacing in the bathroom when Barba reached you. You were borderline blubbering to yourself when he opened the door. His heart clenched again at the sight, knowing that you were beating yourself up even more now. He stalked over to you before grabbing your face and staring into your eyes. Tears welled up in them as they again twisted in confusion at the man standing in front of you. He had come after you?
As quick as he walked over to you, he leaned down, fully connecting your lips to his. Rafael desperately held you close to him, kissing you with such passion you thought you were going to pass out. When he finally broke away he stared down into your eyes again before peppering your face with kisses. You giggled softly as they tickled your face.
Finally he huskily whispered to you, "How long?"
Without even asking for context, you answered, "For a very long time, Counselor."
He smiled before breathing out a simple, me too.
"Here why don't we go talk about this in a separate room. Not to be that person, but the bathroom isn't really that romantic," You whispered to him.
He nodded and allowed you to lead him out of the restrooms, towards what seemed to be an interrogation room. You guys were so wrapped up in each other you didn't see the squad staring at you two with looks of mixed approval and shock. When you finally reached the room you turned to him and he immediately kissed you again. You chuckled into it, pulling him into you as you sat down on the table in the room. The kissing deepened, his grip on the small of your back tightening. You broke the kiss slowly, pressing another one to his nose.
"Counse-," you began quietly.
"(Y/N), I think we're past the point of formalities, you can just call me Rafael. Now, I have something I need to say before you do," He spoke with a tone of adoration, "I never thought that I would be able to have feelings for anyone after what my ex-girlfriend put me through. You really shook my life up, in the best way possible."
You nodded for him to continue.
"I think you are the one for me, cause it gets so hard to breathe when you're looking at me," he breathed out, a nervous quality in his voice, "I've never felt so alive and free."
"Well, Rafael, I feel the same," you smiled at the man, hoping to ease him into a calm state of mind, "When you're looking at me, I feel so happy."
He smiled at this and swooped you in for another kiss. You guys stayed in this embrace for a while, just basking in each other's presence. You almost didn't hear the soft knock at the door, you two springing apart and standing decently far away from one another. In walked Liv, a huge smile plastered on her face. She looked between the two of you knowingly, her smile widening as she took in the sight.
"You two do know that the whole squad watched you walk back here right? I just had to make sure you weren't 'confessing' on the table. Which you were," She chuckled.
A blush dusted itself over your cheeks, at the realization that indeed the whole squad had known about your crushes on each other. Rafael stumbled over his words for the first time, and Liv held a hand up to stop him, another chuckle leaving her lips.
"Don't even start Counselor, we knew long before this public display. You two really are extremely oblivious, did you know that?"
"Well, if I had known Olivia, I would've made my move a long time ago," the lawyer spoke.
She smiled cheekily before speaking again, "I won't keep you two. Just, don't have sex on the table please," with that she left the room.
You two shared a look, before sharing one more kiss and leaving the room behind her. You met the expectant faces of the squad, who all quickly turned to do something as the two of you walked in.
"Finally," Fin whispered to himself, neither of you catching him.
Just like neither of you saw Sonny slip the older detective an envelope full of money.
"And I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime
And I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine."
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