Listening to the AWTWB Baz playlist Rainbow Rowell has posted on spotify is... devastating.
i am in love with all of Rainbow's playlists and her annotations on her site. i absolutely love how much thought she puts into them in relation to her characters, and how much you can find Simon and Baz in their respective playlists.
But the AWTWB: Baz playlist, specifically, holds a special place in my heart...
The absolute fucking SOFTNESS from the first song till the very last... while listening i can SEE Baz cradling his own vulnerable bleeding heart in his hands and holding it out to Simon no matter the consequences...
I will never shut up about Rainbow's playlists for her characters. They're so good they make me weep everytime i listen.
Here's all the specific lyrics in the AWTWB: BAZ playlist by Rainbow Rowell on spotify that made me physically clutch my heart from pain (and love. For Baz.):
"We thought love was something, we weren't meant to find, but now you're a stranger"
"but you don't remember, August honey, you were mine."
"I can't forget those earlier days, when i was in your heart, Now you take my hand, and it's as cold, as when you speak."
"Cannot count the ways you used to love me, But I can count the ways you used to try"
"The cries are just the start, To a fallen angel, While one hand takes the cross, Another lights the candle"
"would you feel, together and inebriated, enabling of a fable, we were never meant to be but together."
"I want say what lovers say to you, I want to feel what lovers feel with you, I want to do it with you. Would you be my lover?"
"Remember the time you told me love was touching souls, Surely you touched mine 'cause part of you pours out of me."
"You're in my blood, you're my holy wine. You taste so bitter and so sweet. Oh I could drink a case of you darling"
"You felt shelter somewhere in me, I find great comfort in you, And I keep you safe from harm, You hold me in your arms"
"I've got your back, And though, it's stacked against us, I've got your hand, It's us against consensus, And I will burn, The people who hurt you"
"You know it's time that we, Grow old and do some shit, I like it all that way"
"Won't you please let me go?, These words lie inside they hurt me so, I've Lost you, I've Lost you, I've Lost you."
"Please don't let me hit the ground, Tonight I think I'll walk alone, I'll find my soul as I go home."
"Looking out at endless snow, Waiting in the silence, If you won't spill your heart, I'll chase you for the worst you owe."
"You are the answer to my question, You are my accomplice in a crime."
"In the twilight they danced and played, The fireflies they go light like cray, In the dreaming we struck each other, and prayed, for pain."
"Two melting candles against the sun, Modern angels they broke our wings in the wind, For what?"
"But when I'm asleep, I want somebody, Who will put their arms around me, And kiss me tenderly"
"Who knows how long I've loved you, You know I love you still, Will I wait a lonely lifetime, If you want me to, I will."
The more i listen to this playlist, the more i cry, the more i ache over baz and the unconditional love this boy, this man, holds in his heart.
Thank you @rainbowrowell.
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