i hate that half of the naruto fandom that likes the akatsuki for wrong reasons. what do you mean you watched kakuzu say "the cold hard truth of this society is that money is the reason behind war and atrocities committed. not honor or love or whatever empty platitude they tell you at ninja school." and you went "yeah so he is an evil money grubbing grandpa into get rich quick schemes"
This work is quite old but I didn't like how it turned out, so I didn't post for a while. But maybe it's some of you would like it anyway, so I decided to show it
My take on Fuu and Kakuzu. Not a very happy one. Oneshot. Happy birthday, Kakuzu.
Hidan persistently kept talking to him. No, not to him. At him, unbothered by Kakuzu's lack of input. Kakuzu was paid and forced to endure and tolerate the background noise Hidan provided. Sometimes it was a much needed distraction. It reminded Kakuzu of leaves rustling. Rookies tended to treat every change in the sounds as equally important. In reality, learning to differentiate between the soft steps of a harmless rabbit and the heavy thuds of a careless foe nearby could cost one a mission, or their life.
Whether Kakuzu enjoyed it or not, Hidan became part of the soundscape, along with the snaps of small twigs, changes of the wind, and the murmur of a stream nearby. With some experience it became easy to tell which parts of the constant ambiance carried important information for the next moment.
Only a fraction of Hidan's constant rambling was worthy of listening to. Paying attention to all of it was foolish and impossible, and he learned to filter it. Some of Hidan's words reached him again.
"Konoha is supposed to be that way." Hidan stopped, and pointed in the direction of a wide, well-travelled, but now empty road.
Kakuzu scoffed. "Of course. Let's also send up some fireworks, while we're at it."
"Fuck you, man. I was just trying to help." Hidan replied.
"Well. Don't."
The two men glared at each other for a short moment, before turning away and muttering insults under their breath.
Navigating Hidan through the woods near Konoha on a stealth mission was a task akin to trying to get into your bed in silence when you're drunk. Doomed from the start. Hidan strutted along with all the grace of a spooked horse, with the same insanity in his eyes. He was as overconfident and cocky as (Kakuzu noted bitterly) only someone this young could be. A trail of destruction followed his partner, who wasn't used to foliage this thick. Broken branches limped sadly behind him, and swarms of frightened animals called out to notify others of the intruders. Tailing the jinchuuriki with Hidan was near impossible. Even considering the lack of usual security outside the village, as most of the forces were stationed within the walls of Konoha for the upcoming Chuunin exam.
"You. Wait here." He decided, and pointed at a group of shrubs near Hidan.
"Oh come on, Kakuzu!" Protested the younger one. "I want blood, I want carnage! It's not fair-"
"Shut up." Kakuzu interrupted. "I don't care if it's fair or not. You are a pain in the ass."
Hidan opened his mouth to argue, but whatever he wanted to tell became less important than Kakuzu's fist flying straight into his face. He dodged the attack with surprising nimbleness, further angering Kakuzu.
"Oh, so now you know how to dodge. Not two hours ago, no, when you insisted you had to curse that man to avoid his attacks."
Hidan blocked the barrage of attacks, followed by Kakuzu's remarks, and disappeared in the shrubs Kakuzu previously pointed out.
"You seem to be pretty good at simply defending now, without cutting me, leaving a big bloody mess to clean up-"
"Oh shut up, you old fart!" Hidan yelled.
"What, should we practice evasion a bit more?" Kakuzu reached for a shuriken. He never used those anyways, pesky little things, just kept getting in the way of him drawing his kunai. Perfect for a teaching opportunity that might never return. He aimed near the sound of leaves crunching under a pair of careless feet, hidden behind the greenery. Judging by the swearing, Kakuzu concluded with satisfaction that he landed the shuriken exactly where he wanted it.
"Now, Hidan. You have time to practice stealth too. Stay here, until you hear me again."
No response followed his words, and Kakuzu finally moved forward in silence. Without Hidan behind him he moved faster than he anticipated, until he reached his target. The jinchuuriki from his (his?) village.
The girl was apparently the same kind of idiot as Hidan. She moved through the forest as if nothing bad could ever happen to her. Such carelessness could only be afforded in childhood, after that, it became arrogance. Naivety like that always irked Kakuzu. The first unfortunate surprise of an attack came from him, but she was either less stupid than she looked, or he had seriously underestimated the girl. She didn't look older than twenty, but still, too old to carry around the luxury of innocence that hung around her. She looked at him with way too much trust in her eyes, even as his hands tightened on her throat. That stupid smile never had time to leave her face - the light in her eyes was first to go.
He felt embarrassed at the sight, and he felt embarrassed to admit he needed a moment to sit with this. He was glad Hidan wasn't around.
Something about her eyes reminded him of a woman he once knew. She was smart enough to know when to leave a sinking ship, unlike this unfortunate girl, her eyes the same shade of amber.
To his horror the more he looked at her the more similarities he saw. Even the smile - she had the face of someone he desperately tried to forget. The face of someone he used to escape into, to think about during his missions, and in the darkness of his prison cell.
Up until his unfortunate escape, his last memory of the owner of that face was her crying in his arms before his suicide mission. What a night that was! Only a little over a year passed before he saw her again, but this time with a child in her arms and a man near her, looking as peaceful as one can be.
He still vividly (and against his will) remembered the new and unpleasant feeling of being someone new, filthy, soaked with blood, ripped apart at the seams. To this day he couldn't tell if the painful squirming in his stomach came from the swarms of foreign coils keeping him alive despite his wishes, or the realization of recognizing his best friend in the man near his woman.
He remembered admitting to himself that his beloved was always a smart woman, otherwise he wouldn't have chosen her. He decided to rip himself out of this scene he never belonged to, especially not in his new form. In that state he never assumed the child to be his.
As years passed without mercy, his brain kept tormenting him with this last memory of his woman. On some days, moving on was easier, if he believed the child to be his. On some other days, marked by reckless fights and hellish violence, it was easier to believe that child and that woman was never his.
Seasons passed unaffected by his suffering, and the years, then decades marched on. He fluctuated between regret and rage, before it became too much to bear, and he became thankfully and delightfully empty and apathetic to it all.
Now, in this horrible moment, he was still sitting. He forced himself to look into those eyes full of curiosity. They were still open. This girl was too young to be that child. If he was a lot less observant, this could've been the end of it. Unfortunately the realisation dawned of him, no, gripped him, and knocked the air out of his lungs.
None of the villages were kind to their jinchuuriki. Few people were stupid enough to condemn themselves or their family to the suffering that followed by carrying a tailed beast. It wasn't unheard of to punish traitors, or children of traitors by sealing a beast in them.
Or grandchildren of traitors. The girl's last words echoed through his mind.
"I've heard a lot about you, Kakuzu. I hope we can be friends!"
The last piece of his past self laid there, unmoving. Lost to his self-loathing and stubbornness. He wondered if he will be more or less himself without it now. He didn't dare to think about the answer. Needless to ponder.
He removed his mask before throwing up. Neither of those answers could make him happy. And time, again, will pass regardless.