aryes

a gremlin's account full of shitposts and italian screams ; @fflyhigher on Ao3

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[thoughtsofjess]

may i add:

43. the succubus who doesn’t realize she’s a succubus

44. the merchant and the hero

45. magical girl anime about moms

46. monstrous homes

47. bride of the rose beast

48. the ghost and their boarders

49. the tooth fairy trades in more than just teeth

50. the knight finds the dragon’s corpse

51. a witch curses a princess that had wronged her

52. chronic hanahaki

53. “no-one came to my funeral”

54. the villain wrangler

55. the eldritch garbage disposal

56. the necromancer messing with the serial killer

57. the princess cursed to die the night before her 25th birthday

58. the prophet cassandra meets odysseus

59. a death that is kind, and patient, and inevitable

60. release them, fredward jones

61. a woman makes a deal with the devil

62. you accidentally summon a demon trying to make a sandwitch

63. new apocalyptia

64. woman leaves demon and witch fighting for custody

65. guy moves into a haunted house with 7 demons

66. the blooming undead

67. delaying the apocalypse via good parenting

[aroacecat]

68. the Ollie and Damien comic

69. the how to draw a horse comic

[guilty-lights]

please, hurt me so

Till bends his head down. Somewhere along the way, his Ivan has vanished. Till sweeps Ivan’s wet hair away from his face, smooths his palm down Ivan’s broad chest to feel for the heartbeat thudding slow but solid there. He’s only trembling slightly. He puts his lips to Ivan’s ear. ‘Get the fuck up, idiot.’ Ivan opens his eyes.

In the end, Ivan comes back to Till in the form of a cryogenic chamber. (Or: Ivan and Till get worse before they get better.)

[frocio]

i love it when italians argue about italian. like we don’t even know how our language really works we just roll with it

[frocio]

[iphisesque]

Italian is 107 different provincial languages stuck together with spit and half a prayer

[frogcoded]

My bf lives in another region and we are constantly arguing about regional variations of words and we both live in the fucking north of Italy

[putaemo-cional]

one time i saw a map of italy but instead of cities and roads etc it was just covered w different ways you can say the word vagina. it was covered

[frocio]

oh I can think of at least seven ways to say the word vagina right off the top of my head rn. I can’t imagine what I could do if I tried harder

[criptochecca]

Fjgkahfmangksoajufnajejgnanfjakirjvjjs

[fishbizkit]

this is the Italian Vagina Map, reblog to… I’m not sure actually. Can’t hurt though. 

[earhartsease]

this is absolutely begging to be a song - but first someone would have to research all the pronunciations which would be an epic holiday tbh, imagine travelling around italy and sicily and sardinia politely asking locals how to pronounce sbanzega or mboffa (and of course the locals would not agree with each other, which would just make the song longer)

[catbountry]

And Yakko Warner would sing it, of course.

[cottoncandylesbo]

(alien being shown yaoi) and you're saying, the men... have sex with each other? the men?

(alien being shown yuri) ohhh ya we do this shit too lmao

[temothylol]

[tylostoma]

sometimes water tastes so good and you drink it in such a ferociously passionate way that you frighten yourself

[diasdelfuego]

the thing about art is that sometimes you'll be moved to tears by stuff that is not very good

[draconym]

I think it sucks that you have to go to so many different kinds of doctor to take care of yourself. It's the 21st century. I should be able to go to a single office where they scan me with a big xerox machine and tell me what I'm allergic to and why my tummy hurts and if I have any cancer or cavities or if my glasses prescription has changed. And then I should get a sticker.

[charl0ttan]

dude why is your cutie mark a cigarette burn & we arent horses

[nofilter-cory]

Cat

[frootjak]

gerosaki doodles :] it’s almost the 21st!!!!

[seiya234]

Baby girl just flung herself off my nipple with a massive sigh and I can just tell this kid is going to be Dramatîquê when she’s older

[seiya234]

Update: two years later can absolutely confirm this was the truth

[seiya234]

update 7 years later and she just declared that today is The Worse Day Ever because i told her no youtube my prediction was correct

[twunkish-cleric]

Learning languages is SO FUN right up until you need to learn conjugation and then suddenly it turns sour real fucking fast

[twunkish-cleric]

[catsofyore]

In 1944 a kitten named George (short for General Electric) was saved from drowning by a U.S. Navy crew member. George was then photographed and given a liberty card and detailed health record. Source.

[ethicalhorseslaughter]

[bogleech]

There's too much going on here

[naamahdarling]

"Skin: can't see it you worried?"

PLEASE READ the sheet it's amazing.

[shrimp-gender]

He's CATholic

[yoohyun]

long time no yoohyun

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

bro my dad “went to dinner” at my favorite mexican restaraunt and said he’d bring me home a burrito and it’s fucking 9pm

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

my dad is having an affair

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

dad brought me the promised burrito just now so here’s my obligatory post exonerating him from infedelity

[licensehaver-deactivated2025061]

that burrito was fantastic. i’m inclined to think my dad has never had sex in his life

[tom-spanks]

remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp

[scumfuckus]

[yiffpunk]

[heatseekingbehavior]

[nonbinarybeartrade]

[falconfate]

Yeah, I’d have killed a man for this bedroom as a kid

[cryptidclaw]

Children yern for an enclosed nest and cave like space… also glowing liquid

[lucifermael]