dedicated to james potter kinnie anon, i hope you read this <3 it could never suffice to your level but tried.
James was perfect, he's always been. His friends know him as the perfect shoulder to cry on, the unbreakable force, the 'happy go-lucky' person. And yet.
James has fought strong and hard over the years to maintain this illusion. Perfect Potter with perfect grades, perfects parents, perfect smile, perfect life.
How about Paltry Potter? The James Potter who's smiles never quite reach his eyes, the James Potter who stays up throughout the night just to get a good grade, the James Potter who's parents are never home, the James Potter who's always falling short for them, the James Potter who's never felt quite right in his skin.
His hands shake as he takes tests, his smile falls when his mother looks at him disapprovingly, like something in her shattered when he announces that he wants to be a boy.
His stomach knots when the girl he likes looks at him with distaste, when the guy he likes ignores him with eyes full of hate.
His heart clenches when his parents tell him to stick to one thing, to stop with this "in-between phase" when he walks into the living room with makeup on, when they catch him with a boy.
His eyes water as another birthday passes with the standard quidditch gift and a letter half-arsed by his parents' assistant.
His muscles tighten as he pushes himself to the brink of exhaustion whilst practicing, the wins are the one thing his dad hugs him for.
His stomach grumbles as he pushes the food around in his plate after his mother told him to atleast look fit if hes going to be broken.
His throat swells as he's met with another side glance when he talks, another sigh, another 'why're you so excited?'
He wants to go back, back to when he was a kid, back to when his parents looked at him like he was the miracle he was suppsed to be. Back to when he was considered normal.
Back to when he was just a kid and not defined by the color on his skin, the scars on his body or the chip in his tooth.