Chez Michelle

personal empowerment • professional development • leadership • coaching • consulting • collaboration • reflection

[chezmichelle]

To live without purpose is to live at the mercy of chance

Nathaniel Branden

[chezmichelle]

4 Rituals To Keep You Happy All The Time

Being happy isn't that hard. But being happy all the time? That sounds impossible. Here are 4 rituals that can help you get there.

Gratitude rituals we should all try.

[chezmichelle]

Follow the Leader

How do people in an organization learn how to act?

How do they learn the norms for treating those working with or for them?

Where does the expectation for how to behave come from?

It does not matter what a leader says, it matters what she does. She can be amazingly charismatic, have a wonderful vision, and inspire people to want to follow to help achieve the marvelous goal put forward. If she has expectations for how her followers are to behave, she needs to set the example. While people will be listening to what she says, they will be watching even more closely to what she does. They will study how she treats people, whether individuals of different statures, different places in the organization, and different genders, races, ethnicities, sexual orientation, etc... are all given the same consideration, or if based on some aspect of difference there are preferential treatments. Employees will examine how decisions are made, including the rationale and who was included or not included along the way.

Anyone who has had kids or who has cared for kids knows that your words are pretty much meaningless to them unless you follow through with your actions. Threaten to take video games away from them for a week if they misbehave and then never actually do it? They catch on pretty quickly. You keep threatening them, they keep behaving in the way you don't like. It is the same in the work setting.

Leaders, especially new and emerging leaders, do not always recognize this. It is a good thing to discuss with leadership teams and to practice with each other. It takes trust and mutual respect to ask a senior colleague if they notice your words are not aligning with your actions. In the long run it is better to hear it from them so you can work on correcting, practicing it, and continuing to receive feedback for further improvement. Once you start losing credibility with the larger organization, once they have noticed you say one thing and do another, it takes a lot longer to reverse that.

[chezmichelle]

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit.

Aristotle

[chezmichelle]

We don't usually stop to examine patterns of misunderstanding in our lives because we're stuck in our point of view.

Michael P. Nichols, PhD in The Lost Art of Listening

[huffpost]

Never be afraid to fail.

Watch all of ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia’s” Charlie Day’s inspiring commencement speech here.

[chezmichelle]

The world belongs to those who persevere.

Nathaniel Branden in The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

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You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life...

Jane Seymour

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Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

[chezmichelle]

"Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.

J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit

[chezmichelle]

Word of the Year

It is that time of year again. That time when I start to think about what sort of New Year’s resolution I can make. Thinking back over the years I’m not sure I can recall any of the resolutions I have made. In stark contrast I can vividly remember the “word of the year” I selected last year and the year before, when I started this short lived tradition.

Unlike previous New Year’s resolutions, my word stayed with me for the whole year. I continued to think about how I could live into the original purpose behind selecting the word. And now, reflecting back over the past two years, the word turned out to be a great motivator for achieving various goals I had in mind. This was true at many levels - work, professional growth, personal development, home, and managing major life transitions. 

The idea for a “Word of a Year” was not mine. It was put out there by Christine Kane who has developed a tool for selecting your “word”. Some people seem to like using the tool which steps them through a process of increasing their awareness around the power of words and choosing the word that has the most meaning and power for them. Most people with whom I have shared this concept capture the concept immediately. In addition, after even just a few moments of thought and a bit of reflection they pronounce that they know what their word needs to be. 

Regardless of your method for identifying your “Word” for the upcoming year, I invite you to think about what word can serve as your North Star for the coming year. I have not quite settled on mine yet - I still have a couple days to decide.

What will be “your word” this coming year?

[chezmichelle]

“It takes courage ... to endure the sharp pains of self discovery rather than choose to take the dull pain of unconsciousness that would last the rest of our lives.”

Marianne Williamson, "Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of 'A Course in Miracles'"

[chezmichelle]

Don't wait ... to create.

Mike Medow

(http://www.mikemedow.com/)

[chezmichelle]

Obos is a destination, a sanctuary, a shrine and a focal point that reminds us that we work with our hands. We are builders and what we build is sacred. Obos may appear inconsequential and be unnoticed by casual passersby. It's a private tribute to something higher, something we might be striving for but find difficult to attain.

Robert Genn

[chezmichelle]

Rock balancing under the watchful eye of Cathedral Rock

Vertically placed with precision and care ... and patience

Working in meditative silence - 

Experiencing a feeling of accomplishment - for the art and beauty of rock balancing

[chezmichelle]

Obos, Carin, or Rock Balancing

On a visit to Cathedral Rock in Sedona Arizona we took a trail that we thought would lead us to the foot of the incredibly scenic red rock castle formation via Oak Creek. Somehow we were unable to navigate correctly to the side of the creek we had desired to be on. We found ourselves on a delightful trail that followed a creek for a while and then ended in some bramble. We could see trails across the creek - but no bridge, stones to step on, or log over the water that would have enabled us to traverse it.

As we headed along the trail we began to see obos, some call them carins, which one typically sees on big hikes in the red rocks of the Sedona area to mark the path. The path was pretty well trodden, there was really no reason for the obos, but they are always fun to see. As we kept going the numbers of these little rock statues increased until we came across a small patch of rocks where there were quite a few. 

Staying on the path led us to a very large open rocky area where the urge to create an obos was overwhelming. Trail markers, carins, obos, or balanced rock sculptures were absolutely everywhere. 

One of the individuals in our hiking party, who spent a few minutes working on some rock balancing, remarked "I could do this all day!" and "It is just like meditation."

As we hiked further along the path we left this person behind to build carins and balance rocks. To enjoy the meditative qualities associated with imagining, trying, constructing, and then succeeding in stacking rocks in such a way as to experience it in wonder. 

All this at the foot of Cathedral Rock.

[chezmichelle]

During tough times, say unto yourself what those who care about you would say unto you...and then believe it. Otherwise, you are dishonoring the love they feel for you.

Mark Goulston

from the book...Just Listen: Discover the Secrets to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone