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Sometimes you are once again compelled to draw perfectly normal pictures of a perfectly regular man, this time featuring another regular man and some cute holiday pictures.
The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.
I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:
We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.
Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?
It ain’t Kermit
Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea
I'd bet anything you'd like no one would be complaining about 'historical accuracy' for that version.
imagine you had a friend who constantly made jokes at the expense of something you loved. they're never funny, but they seem to expect you to laugh even though the punchline is just, "this thing you love sucks ass". it's not even really a joke, there's nothing funny about it, you can tell that they genuinely actually believe it. but they insist it's just a joke!
no matter what the situation is, they're always bringing the social interaction to a screeching halt with these jokes. nobody ever wants to participate in this joke with them. nobody agrees with the premise. nobody ever knows what to say afterwards, it's just an awkward moment and a subject change. but they just keep doing it.
you have to stop with the self-deprecatory "humor", it's not fun for anyone including you.
#actual advice: switch to self-aggrandizing humor #have the biggest ego in the world even if it's fake #does wonders
as the smartest and most beautiful woman in the world, I can confirm this
Self aggrandizing humor saves lives. I’m an authority on this since I’m legitimately the coolest girl in the world.
art students will watch legally blonde one (1) time and get girlbossified
"You hear that? They're saying The Odyssey doesn't even have nobody!"
"They've got nobody in the Odyssey?"
"No I'm saying they don't got nobody."
"Nobody's there?"
"Nobody's not there!"
"So everyone's there?"
"Everybody but nobody!"
Hey Jimmy, get me an Odyssey with Nobody
Nobody?
artist: felicia chiao
I think one of the biggest problems I had with Nolan's Odyssey was that it took itself too seriously. It felt like if Marvel tried adapting the One Piece live action. The Odyssey wasn't meant to be an exclusively drama-centric tale. it has drama, yes, but Homer's Odyssey is the full package: adventure, romance, comedy (in droves!), grief, CAMP, sex, suspense, magic, gore, mystery, horror, and such an impressive range of human emotion that it's impossible not to be invested in Odysseus' journey. And that's a huge part of its appeal; why this poem has survived literal millennia of being told over and over again.
I can tell that Nolan attempted to tap into some of these themes. Like I can see where he tried. But did I feel it? Was I invested the same way I was when I read the book, or while watching other adaptations? Absolutely not.
And there are many, many reasons why that is—but that’s a separate conversation entirely, one which has been covered by plenty of other reviewers already.
But my point is, you should have fun experiencing the Odyssey. You should feel the weight of it, yes, but in equal measure you should feel the joy, the hunger, the desperation, the love, the very feelings that would keep you enthralled if a storyteller were telling you this story out loud, in person. Drama, alone, is not enough to captivate an audience for almost 3000 years. Nolan's adaptation proves it.
"Hey Chief, give me Zendaya as Athena!"
"Zendaya as Athena got it"
"And hold the helmet, spear and Aegis!"
"Hold the helmet, Aegis and spear?"
"And hold any visually dynamic colours or a good outfit"
"Hold the colours or any good outfit? Hey Jimmy, give me an Athena with nothing!"
Quick! Someone get the antihistamines! Christopher Nolan seems to have developed a severe allergy to DEPICTING GREEK GODS IN HIS MOVIE ABOUT GREEK MYTHOLOGY
I’ve been thinking on it a bit further and I think that the reason that Nolan’s odyssey has the problems that it does is that it’s afraid to be seen as unserious for even one second.
Like they could’ve and in my opinion should’ve had Zendaya as Athena descend from the heavens in full battle armor but they didn’t. It would’ve been accurate to the original text.
We can’t have anything look rediculous in this movie though I guess. Can’t have a cyclops thinking that a guy is named Nobody. Can’t have a drugged up island of silly lotus eaters that Odysseus has to physically drag his men away from.
Anyways I did mostly enjoy this movie I swear but I wish they’d gotten silly with it even just once.
Not only is it never allowed to be silly, it's never allowed to be glorious, to be powerful, to be beautiful.
Circe does not have a magnificent palace filled with nymphs and golden furniture. Calypso does not weave on a golden loom, her cave full of mighty trees dripping with grape vines. There is no Nausicaa and Arete in their palace of Orichalcum and magic boats which pilot themselves. Penelope does not have a wedding bed carved from a mighty olive tree, rooted to the rock of Ithaca.
Because Nolans movie is about the collapse of a cultural empire because people didn't respect God's laws enough. It's about a civilization degrading and fading, so he has no use for any of the majesty and wonder and humor of the homeric text. Everything needs to be grimy and decaying, collapsing in on itself.
And Adaptations are allowed to be different and it's broadly a good thing to have a strong directorial vision.
But it does remind me of Nolans Batman, which had no time for boy wonders and found family and silly puzzles because it needed to be about the righteous necessity of the post 9/11 surveillance state.
Odysseus fucking name dropping the Bronze Age is like Leonardo De Vinci writing in his journal "wow what a beautiful day here in the Italian Renaissance. I sure am pleased to be experiencing The High Renaissance period"
It's just so fucking stupid.
Like.
I hear "this is the end of the information age" constantly when AI is brought up. Is it really the most unbelievable fact that someone would call their own age based on the most used material. Also Homer wrote well into the iron age, bronze weaponry had not been used for like 400 years already. He would have known about the Bronze age collapse. Also the Renaissance is the french term for Rinascita (rebirth in italian) which was in fact used during the Renaissance. It was a term for the age invented by Giorgio Vasari. Like where do you think we got the term from. Check his Wikipedia page. Leonardo De Vinci was just early, but Michelangelo could literally have historically said "wow what a beautiful day here in the Italian Renaissance. I sure am pleased to be experiencing The High Renaissance period" Except you know he didn't speak english so the florentine equivalent of that.
The term "Bronze Age" was first used in 1836.
And while Homer (or, you know, whatever collection of scribes wrote down the Epic Cycle whom we collectively call Homer) may have had a general concept of the Bronze Age Collapse (kind of. Archaic Greeks would know about palace ruins, and may have had a concept that many great civilizations had been lost in the recent past. Theres really only 1 mention of *writing* in the Iliad, and its...pretty amiguous. So its not even super clear is Homer realized that people in the Mycenean period had written language), the character of Odysseus definitely did not.
The homeric Odyssey isn't about the Bronze Age Collapse and its themes do not represent an anxiety about the degeneracy and decline of Greek Culture, and if we are going to assess Nolan's film on the rubric of "are concepts, themes, and terminology something that Homer would have used or recognized", we would be here all day. (Theres not even really an Archaic Greek word for "Veteran" in the same way we do, or in the same way its used in the film. Odysseus, a man still fit for battle, would never apply the term to himself) But I don't think thats a particularly fair way to assess the film.
As for my comparison to De Vinci, who died before Vasaris book- Vasari used the term "rebirth" to describe the shift in art styles, and it wouldn't be used to describe the entire cultural era until the 1850s. So, Michelangelo likely wouldn't have thought he was having a great day in the Italian Renaissance either, honestly. Though he might have felt like his art was part of the artistic revival at the time.
Yes, WE, modern people with modern concepts about history, talk about living in the Information Age. We are very used to dividing up history into discreet eras, often to the point of oversimplification, to compare eras to each other, to try to find cause and effect in our progression from one to the next. It's a concept clearly, Nolan finds very interesting.
It also nearly sent me into a fit in the movie because it's just Nolan breaking the forth wall and saying to the camera "This movie is actually about the decline of the American empire because of the loss of traditional values".
And it's just part of the whole contradiction of the film. The insistence on REAL ancient instruments and Hathaway learning to weave on a REAL ancient loom and pretense of gritty realism, while simultaneously being an incredibly modern American War Guilt movie with inconsistent costume design, name dropping the Bronze Age Collapse. It's clunky and awkward at best.
i cant believe that there's still gamergate STANK on games that women enjoy. NASTY misogyny residue. stardew valley is in fact a video game. animal crossing is also a video game. so are otome games and dating sims and twee little cozy games. sometimes a bitch doesnt wanna play bloodborne that shit's hard
guys who mainly play 2k and fortnite will still be like oh youre not a real gamer for having 1000 hours in stardew. mother fucker you're larping as a basketball player
and if i said nolan's odyssey starring no greek actors and with no recognizable aspects of greek culture or involvement by greeks, is the direct legacy of white supremacist colonialism that treated ancient greece as not just the pinnacle of ancient culture, but of an artificially created "european" culture, which white western europeans and their settler descendants, as the new pinnacle of culture, were the sole spiritual inheritors of.
^^^ PEOPLE ARE STILL THERE. There's a metro station across the street from the colosseum where i found a hair in my pizza slice. We drove by ruins of an amphitheater next to a motorway in greece once. It's literally just real places where real people live and have lived. It's not mythical perfect lands that once existed. I went to Itacha in 2023 and there was not enough parking space.
I forgot tumblr is real guys sorry
Eridian crab rave ft. The pebbles
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