Chimistry

Bts scenarios & fics as well as scribbles | hiatus! | Mobile Masterlist

[chimistry]

A well deserved check in

I stopped listening to BTS and stopped writing all together as well as using any blog I owned. It was like an addiction that I’m glad I was able to break out of. I always put my value as a writer (though never taking it serious) in the amount of notes I received and other feedback in terms of my work. I never understood why my writing always failed to take off or obtain feedback. I put my all into some of my works and felt proud of my composition only to feel like I was playing to a deaf audience. In retrospect, I still genuinely believe that my works truly weren’t half bad and represented my values as someone who enjoyed writing. I regret stopping, truly. My lexicon has diminished to that of a 5 year old child and I can barely form a coherent sentence. I truly regret equating the worth and value of my pieces to the number of notes I received on said piece. Reflecting back on my writing days and so on has lead me to the revelation that I was very immature and valued the wrong things. I should’ve wrote for my own pleasure than that of others. I shouldn’t have held myself to such a high standard and I definitely should’ve been more optimistic.

And though it may very well seem contradictory, I am very grateful for those I met on this platform and those who read my works, reached out to me, and gave me recognition. Truly grateful. I’m happy to start a new beginning on this platform and a new chapter in my life.

Goodnight.

[chimistry]

Update 4/22/17

Honestly, I don’t know if anyone will care enough to take the time to read this as I’ve become nothing but a ghost on this platform but I’ll still continue to write for the chance that someone would want to know that I’m still existing and I still have thoughts and a love for writing.

It’s been a long near-8-months. Full of ups and downs and turns, spirals, drops, doubts, tears, illnesses, etc. If you don’t know or forgot, I’m living on an island in Spain, like literally the dead center of the island in a tiny town where Spanish is not the common language (& it’s actually disliked by many of the inhabitants of this island). I’ve learned to develop an understanding of one language, where I can read and listen and I’m able to speak, read, write, and listen to another (Spanish) with basically nothing to start with. It’s been tough, this whole adjustment period, the exhaustion still washes over me from time to time but I’ve come to fall in love with this place, the people, and the culture. 

To get to where I am I had to give up a lot, my identity, language, culture, communication with my nuclear and outer family & friends, and expression through art. Between school, studying, and a social life here, I haven’t had a single second to pick up a pen or a pencil or hit the laptop to just write or draw. I haven’t read a single book and I’ve given up on trying because exams would get in the way or I’d have to spend time practicing the languages. 

In short, I’ve distanced from my passions- they’re still there and at times I yearn for them like one for their lover who’s in war, but it’s just not feasible for me to spend my time doing those sorts of things when I have to focus my time and effort into learning as much I can.

Okay but where the fuck are you getting with this? Why are you complaining and over explaining? 

I just want to explain that I return to America in 2 months and it’s gonna take me a long while to get into the swing of things but I’ll be back here and I’ll be posting much more. I have projects and ideas and I have so much passion and patience now that I feel as though I’ll produce work that will contrast my old ones greatly and that I won’t feel as though I am forcing myself to something that I don’t feel I’m capable of. I’ve learned a shit ton of stuff here, I’ve matured and grown and I hope that will truly reflect in my work. 

[suisosei]

So, I’ve personally never seen any posts supporting or praising writers who have a clean, sparse style so this is one’s for them. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re a bad writer just because you don’t write flowery, extravagant prose full of metaphors and obscure words. Vocabulary and metaphors aren’t the only things that makes writing “good”. Rhythm, tone, clarity, word choice, and voice also makes writing good. And you know what? You can achieve that with minimal description and a complete lack of metaphors. Your writing, no matter how minimalist it is, is just as valid and just as good as pretty, flowery prose.

[chimistry]

Tag a quality blog, You’re it! Quality doesn’t means that you have a lot of followers, or a lot of messages. It means that you’re nice to other people, and you deserve to be happy. If you get this message, someone is telling you that they love you as you are, and they don’t care how many followers you have. Send this to 15 blogs who deserve it. If you break the chain, nothing will happen. But it’s just good to let someone know that you love them

aw this is so sweet omg! 💕

[chimistry]

I haven't dropped by in a while, and this is a bit late but I had no idea you went to Spain!! That is such an incredible opportunity you're living, I truly hope you enjoy it to the fullest and make the most of it, I wish you a shit ton of luck leaning not one, but TWO languages simultaneously (Jesus). On a side note; Apologies is so GOOD? LIKE WOW, and it's such a creative approach to the whole cheating scenario. I loved it :)

It's really tough with the two languages thing but it's also kind of nice. It's really tough in my situation with my family and where I am but I'm honestly trying my best. Thank you so much for the compliments on Apologies by the way! The support I receive from you always makes my day better. 💕

[ms-mazarin]

Words to replace said, except this actually helps

I got pretty fed up with looking for words to replace said because they weren’t sorted in a way I could easily use/find them for the right time. So I did some myself.

IN RESPONSE TO Acknowledged Answered Protested

INPUT/JOIN CONVERSATION/ASK Added Implored Inquired Insisted Proposed Queried Questioned Recommended Testified

GUILTY/RELUCTANCE/SORRY Admitted Apologized Conceded Confessed Professed

FOR SOMEONE ELSE Advised Criticized Suggested

JUST CHECKING Affirmed Agreed Alleged Confirmed

LOUD Announced Chanted Crowed

LEWD/CUTE/SECRET SPY FEEL Appealed Disclosed Moaned

ANGRY FUCK OFF MATE WANNA FIGHT Argued Barked Challenged Cursed Fumed Growled Hissed Roared Swore

SMARTASS Articulated Asserted Assured Avowed Claimed Commanded Cross-examined Demanded Digressed Directed Foretold Instructed Interrupted Predicted Proclaimed Quoted Theorized

ASSHOLE Bellowed Boasted Bragged

NERVOUS TRAINWRECK Babbled Bawled Mumbled Sputtered Stammered Stuttered

SUAVE MOTHERFUCKER Bargained Divulged Disclosed Exhorted

FIRST OFF Began

LASTLY Concluded Concurred

WEAK PUSY Begged Blurted Complained Cried Faltered Fretted

HAPPY/LOL Cajoled Exclaimed Gushed Jested Joked Laughed

WEIRDLY HAPPY/EXCITED Extolled Jabbered Raved

BRUH, CHILL Cautioned Warned

ACTUALLY, YOU’RE WRONG Chided Contended Corrected Countered Debated Elaborated Objected Ranted Retorted

CHILL SAVAGE Commented Continued Observed Surmised

LISTEN BUDDY Enunciated Explained Elaborated Hinted Implied Lectured Reiterated Recited Reminded Stressed

BRUH I NEED U AND U NEED ME Confided Offered Urged

FINE Consented Decided

TOO EMO FULL OF EMOTIONS Croaked Lamented Pledged Sobbed Sympathized Wailed Whimpered

JUST SAYING Declared Decreed Mentioned Noted Pointed out Postulated Speculated Stated Told Vouched

WASN’T ME Denied Lied

EVIL SMARTASS Dictated Equivocated Ordered Reprimanded Threatened

BORED Droned Sighed

SHHHH IT’S QUIET TIME Echoed Mumbled Murmured Muttered Uttered Whispered

DRAMA QUEEN Exaggerated Panted Pleaded Prayed Preached

OH SHIT Gasped Marveled Screamed Screeched Shouted Shrieked Yelped Yelled

ANNOYED Grumbled Grunted Jeered Quipped Scolded Snapped Snarled Sneered

ANNOYING Nagged

I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WHATEVER Guessed Ventured

I’M DRUNK OR JUST BEING WEIRDLY EXPRESSIVE FOR A POINT/SARCASM Hooted Howled Yowled

I WONDER Pondered Voiced Wondered

OH, YEAH, WHOOPS Recalled Recited Remembered

SURPRISE BITCH Revealed

IT SEEMS FAKE BUT OKAY/HA ACTUALLY FUNNY BUT I DON’T WANT TO LAUGH OUT LOUD Scoffed Snickered Snorted

BITCHY Tattled Taunted Teased

[writing-reigns-deactivated20200]

reblog to save a writer 

[nichelle-my-belle-deactivated20]

excellent resource

[jinpout]

the name for my alarm is “make jin proud” and thats what im gonna do

[jinpout]

LISTEN IF KIM SEOKJIN CAN BE AN IDOL AND GO TO UNI AND KEEP UP WITH HIS WORK, WE CAN GET OUR ASS’ OUT OF BED EACH MORNING AND GET OUR SHIT DONE

[95hyyh]

I like hate comments more than no comment i don’t know you but you know my name.

Rapmonster (Cypher pt4)

[thesnicketfile]

Lemony Snicket's Advice on Writing a Nice Thank-You Note

1. Do not start with the thank you.

2. Start with any other sentence. If you first say, “Thank you for the nice sweater,” you can’t imagine what to write next. Say, “It was so wonderful to come home from school to find this nice sweater. Thank you for thinking of me on Arbor Day.”

3. Then you’re done.

I recommend learning how to write a very good thank-you note. A child who can write a nice thank-you note can turn into a cocaine dealer five years later and be remembered as the child who wrote nice thank-you notes.

[fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment]

Make Shit

This is your Saturday pep talk.

Today’s topic is: Creating garbage. 

Producing bad work is always going to be better than producing nothing. The idea of making trash can twist something dark and nasty in the gut, but making garbage does not mean that you are garbage. You don’t have to get it right on the first try– and if you don’t try at all, you’re never going to get it right. 

Make your bad work. Burn it, smash it, bury it in the garden, abandon it when you hit a dead end, pack it away in a box labeled ‘practice’. Don’t worry about making it good yet, just make it. 

[the-golden-ghost]

I guess the trouble here is what if you don’t improve, what then? Then you just have poor work and a lot of wasted energy, don’t you?

[fuckyeahcharacterdevelopment]

I really (have to) believe that no effort is wasted, but you reminded me of an important point:

Make garbage that you enjoy. Have yourself a fantastic time making it. The idea of allowing yourself to make bad work is really to stop stressing and start playing. If it’s something that you love doing, then either a) you’ll improve just by doing and end up taking risks and doing more interesting things because ‘failure’ has been removed from the equation b) your work will always be garbage but you’ll be happy doing it. I wish more people did things that they loved but don’t have an immediate aptitude for. I wish I did more things that I suck at, unapologetically, because they make me happy. 

I think that we’ve been lead to believe that if we do not immediately show talent in a given area that we should quit. This shit kills me. I’ve lost count of the number of times that someone who is about to draw something in front of me apologizes for their lack of skill. If you ask a child if they can draw, usually they unselfconsciously bust out their crayons and draw you a sick giraffe. 

At what point were we taught that if we’re not good at something right away, we’ll always be bad at it? When were we taught so much shame for trying to do things that we enjoy but aren’t naturals at? 

 Improvement may be slow. Sometimes it goes in leaps and then horrible, soul-sucking plateaus. But people who dedicate themselves to trying, as far as I have seen, always get better. Even if it’s not by much, so what? I say make your garbage. Enjoy your garbage. If something makes you happy, it’s not a waste of time.

[deadgazes-deactivated20150528]

+ 100 Exquisite Adjectives.

(SOURCE) Adjectives — descriptive words that modify nouns — often come under fire for their cluttering quality, but often it’s quality, not quantity, that is the issue. Plenty of tired adjectives are available to spoil a good sentence, but when you find just the right word for the job, enrichment ensues. Practice precision when you select words. Here’s a list of adjectives:

Adamant: unyielding; a very hard substance

Adroit: clever, resourceful

Amatory: sexual

Animistic: quality of recurrence or reversion to earlier form

Antic: clownish, frolicsome

Arcadian: serene

Baleful: deadly, foreboding

Bellicose: quarrelsome (its synonym belligerent can also be a noun)

Bilious: unpleasant, peevish

Boorish: crude, insensitive

Calamitous: disastrous

Caustic: corrosive, sarcastic; a corrosive substance

Cerulean: sky blue

Comely: attractive

Concomitant: accompanying

Contumacious: rebellious

Corpulent: obese

Crapulous: immoderate in appetite

Defamatory: maliciously misrepresenting

Didactic: conveying information or moral instruction

Dilatory: causing delay, tardy

Dowdy: shabby, old-fashioned; an unkempt woman

Efficacious: producing a desired effect

Effulgent: brilliantly radiant

Egregious: conspicuous, flagrant

Endemic: prevalent, native, peculiar to an area

Equanimous: even, balanced

Execrable: wretched, detestable

Fastidious: meticulous, overly delicate

Feckless: weak, irresponsible

Fecund: prolific, inventive

Friable: brittle

Fulsome: abundant, overdone, effusive

Garrulous: wordy, talkative

Guileless: naive

Gustatory: having to do with taste or eating

Heuristic: learning through trial-and-error or problem solving

Histrionic: affected, theatrical

Hubristic: proud, excessively self-confident

Incendiary: inflammatory, spontaneously combustible, hot

Insidious: subtle, seductive, treacherous

Insolent: impudent, contemptuous

Intransigent: uncompromising

Inveterate: habitual, persistent

Invidious: resentful, envious, obnoxious

Irksome: annoying

Jejune: dull, puerile

Jocular: jesting, playful

Judicious: discreet

Lachrymose: tearful

Limpid: simple, transparent, serene

Loquacious: talkative

Luminous: clear, shining

Mannered: artificial, stilted

Mendacious: deceptive

Meretricious: whorish, superficially appealing, pretentious

Minatory: menacing

Mordant: biting, incisive, pungent

Munificent: lavish, generous

Nefarious: wicked

Noxious: harmful, corrupting

Obtuse: blunt, stupid

Parsimonious: frugal, restrained

Pendulous: suspended, indecisive

Pernicious: injurious, deadly

Pervasive: widespread

Petulant: rude, ill humored

Platitudinous: resembling or full of dull or banal comments

Precipitate: steep, speedy

Propitious: auspicious, advantageous, benevolent

Puckish: impish

Querulous: cranky, whining

Quiescent: inactive, untroublesome

Rebarbative: irritating, repellent

Recalcitant: resistant, obstinate

Redolent: aromatic, evocative

Rhadamanthine: harshly strict

Risible: laughable

Ruminative: contemplative

Sagacious: wise, discerning

Salubrious: healthful

Sartorial: relating to attire, especially tailored fashions

Sclerotic: hardening

Serpentine: snake-like, winding, tempting or wily

Spasmodic: having to do with or resembling a spasm, excitable, intermittent

Strident: harsh, discordant; obtrusively loud

Taciturn: closemouthed, reticent

Tenacious: persistent, cohesive,

Tremulous: nervous, trembling, timid, sensitive

Trenchant: sharp, penetrating, distinct

Turbulent: restless, tempestuous

Turgid: swollen, pompous

Ubiquitous: pervasive, widespread

Uxorious: inordinately affectionate or compliant with a wife

Verdant: green, unripe

Voluble: glib, given to speaking

Voracious: ravenous, insatiable

Wheedling: flattering

Withering: devastating

Zealous: eager, devoted

[chimistry]

Apologies

Word count: 952

Jimin (it does include Reader)

Warnings: Cheating 

A/N: I don’t in anyway believe anyone in BTS would cheat, I just used Jimin as my muse to write this short thing. 

Jimin wanted to apologize profusely for something he’d done, despite it being beyond the limits that his finger tips could stretch to. He wanted to apologize until the end of time, until his mouth is dry, jaw sore, tongue numb, and voice is raw beyond recognition. He’d repeat it again and again until his skin ran cold and his lips no longer possessed the ability to produce the composition to the tune of her tears. He’d reiterate it again in attempts to smooth over the rough patch of pain he will leave in her pure, white hued heart. He’d be a broken record, stuck on repeat of a chorus that will grow old eventually, annoying, haunting even.

He still had yet to apologize for his misdeed. For, at that point she was blissfully oblivious to the black omen sitting upon Jimin’s shoulders when he was in her presence, the obvious uncomfortable clenching of muscles when she’d lay a comforting hand on his his thigh out of habit, the lack of a pull in the nerves at the corners of the lips when the golden glow of the morning light silently woke him up between satin sheets occupied by both Park Jimin and her. It was in those moments when Jimin wanted to reach out to her with steady finger tips, to wrap his arms around her body once more and feel how cold it had become without being warmed by him; he wanted to experience that new sensation as he mumbled solace into her scalp, to give the sincerest of apologies for her loss, for what he’d done to her.

Park Jimin didn’t love her anymore. Her heart was utterly and completely broken and yet, she was blind and deaf to it all, cast into the shadows where it’s challenging to find the dull glimmer of indication that perhaps things weren’t the same anymore. Black guilt ate at his heart and made him physically sick, so much so that he’d often find himself hunched over toilet bowls or lying upon their shared mattress, chills coursing along the expanse of his skin, something she hadn’t been able to catch onto either, how sick it made him. He felt all he had the ability to do was apologize for how it happened but even then he couldn’t bring himself to admit to her that he hurt her, that with her, he couldn’t fathom what love actually felt like, let alone define it.

Because galaxies would bloom in his eyes when he would catch a glimpse of the nerve at the corner of your mouth twitching and pulling your beautiful lips into a slight smile as you tucked stray strands of hair behind your ear and shy mirth bubbled up from your throat, dancing gracefully beyond your lips and into the canal of Jimin’s pink hued ears, he was sorry. Because he had offered to take over a shift for you on the day of her sister’s baby shower, the very one she had reminded him about since weeks prior, because you desperately wanted to attend an art show in the city and promised that nothing important was scheduled that day, he was sorry. Because after finding out, he never failed to buy your favorite latte from the little vintage cafe near the store you worked in, and because every morning he’d hand it to you with a quote written in black sharpie on the lid, he was sorry. Because in the junction where left ring finger met knuckle, a tan occupied the space where promise ring should be wrapped around, he was sorry. Because once finding out you’d caught the stomach flu, he had left her on her day off with bags full of different medicines and remedy foods in his hands to go to your apartment and refused to leave your side until you had fully recovered, he was sorry. Because after a coworker’s birthday party, while beyond drunk, he convinced you to allow him to walk you home, he was sorry. He was sorry because once you realized he was too drunk to even walk, you invited him to stay the night and he did just that, despite knowing that she wanted him home that night because the following sunrise not only brought along a new day, but it brought along the date of their 8 year anniversary. He was especially sorry because flowers bloomed in the cage of his chest and butterflies were roused to life in his stomach as his head throbbed the following morning, only suppressed by the sight of you wearing an oversized t-shirt, hair pulled back in a messy bun, stray strands framing your makeupless face and sticking out of the bun comically and to him, you were the most devine peice of art work he’d ever seen, standing in the middle of a white kitchen, bathed in the orange hue of morning light. He’s sorry for standing before you for a moment, alcohol lingering bitterly on his tongue and head spinning as the pad of his thumb drew across the lines of you lower lip. Sorry because his lips glimpsed yours, the slightest of contact was shared; an almost kiss that was more intoxicating than the strongest of alcohols. Apologetic because he pulled away and left you in a haste, the only thing he brought with him as he stumbled out the threshold of your apartment was the biggest regret in life: not kissing you in the moment you looked most beautiful. He was thereafter painted red by guilt because he had a pinch in his heart that he was drowning in love for you and didn’t mind being consumed by it, but for that, he couldn’t be sorry.

[chimistry]

Hiatus Update

If you’re not aware, I recently became an exchange student in Spain and I’m living in a tiny village on an island. I’m learning both Spanish and Catalan (and I’m dying in the process) and it’s just been stressful and busy between school and learning two languages and socializing and I haven’t even had a moment to think about writing. Plus, wifi here is so crappy and I can’t spend too much time alone in my room without the risk of it arousing problems and it takes me a minimum of 12 hours of work to produce something. So, I’m going on hiatus that may last any where from 3 months to a year. I hope it’s not the latter because I truly enjoy writing but there are just things that I have to tend to first like learning Catalan (aka The Death of Me). I will still be here though, my other blog @chimistic will be kept up with as much as possible. On a personal level, I’m extremely upset about this hiatus because it’s so long and the dates are so vague but I honestly can’t predict when everything will settle into a steady flow. With that said, until next time. XX

[mod2amaryllis]

to everyone who’s ever said something kind about my work: you help me get through the day. thank you.

[chimistry]

Hey hey, just a reminder that you're wonderful, and deserve nothing but happiness. Feel better soon, but don't rush, or pressure yourself ya hear?

Thank you so so much, I’m feeling so much better now! You’re so kind. I’m actually doing well with writing now and I have few a few things in the works but I won’t be posting anytime soon as I just got to my host family in Spain and I’m going to wait until I’m pretty well settled in to start writing again. Thank you so much for these words, you’re really too kind! 💕

[chimistry]

Digits

Word Count: 458

Jeongguk drabble ft. Seokjin

A/N: Listen, this was just therapy for me to write. It’s 1:47 AM and I wrote this in 20 minutes, so please excuse any errors. 

Jeongguk’s fingers trembled as he bit his lip, coffee eyes scanning his phone screen again and again, asking himself again and again if he should take the chance and press call. A paper lay beside him on his bed, a chart of the pros and cons of making this call in particular, this one call. The lists for both sides were short, 2 bullets each and extremely blunt. He had taken a shower to calm himself down and perhaps those twenty minutes could be the line between contrasting outcomes. For him to press call was a dangerous thing, it would weaken all the barriers he had put up to protect himself, everything he had mentally built brick by brick would come crashing down. He feared that he may accidentally open up the still healing wounds of his and perhaps allow for new ones to be made, allow for himself to get beaten up again. Was he being selfish? He couldn’t tell. On one hand this call would be to someone he was bound to forever whether he wanted to admit it or not but on the other he wasn’t obligated to reach this person despite how much they apologize. He locked his phone and threw it onto the bed, he wouldn’t make that call. But what if things had changed? He was going to leave for a year and maybe this person really did want to talk to him and apologize before he left and they wouldn’t get the chance to for a long time.

Jeongguk bit back his tears and unlocked his phone, pressing *67 before redialing the smudged phone number on the torn tablet paper before him. His heart stuttered and suddenly he could feel it in his throat or maybe that was his dinner. Why was he so nauseous? Why was he so scared? Why was he so hurt?

The phone rang once, twice, three times until, “Hello, you have reached-.”

He hung up, defeated, hurt. A knock sounded at his door before the creak of the hinges danced to his ears. His head swerved to the side to see Seokjin standing in the doorway dressed in his pajamas.

“Did you talk?” The man asked Jeongguk, voice soft, plush.

“No…” Jeongguk responded looking down at the paper.

“Did you call?” Seokjin’s question was met with airy silence and no recognition of his words from Jeongguk who was too focused on the messy digits before him. “Jeongguk?”

“Yeah… I did call.”

“No answer?” Was Seokjin’s question which was more of a conclusive statement for the both of them.

More silence ensued, until the younger boy’s voice came out once again quietly, gently, like a fawn in a deserted forest, “You know, I can’t help but feel like it’s for the best that nobody answered…” 

[chimistry]

Hey, I was wondering how you are doing? you were never active and I was wondering why that is? Im not trying to be rude or anything, you don't have to say. I just really like your work and wanna know when you'll post again

I didn’t find this rude at all sweet, don’t worry. Thank you for enjoying my work, the fact that you take the time out of your day to read my writing is very pleasing to hear. 

About not posting frequently, I’ve had insomnia since I was 12 and usually it’s tolerable for me but I’m at a really low point right now from it. I’ve been extremely lethargic for the past two months. I find myself having little energy and I’m avoiding being with and talking to friends (which is terrible on my part because these few months are my last with them before I leave). I can’t bring myself to think or process things correctly so I’m having troubles reading & writing properly. Right now I have a lot on my plate and I get stressed easily to the point of migraines and a lot of tension in my muscles. 

The gist of it all is that I’m letting myself go right now and I just need to recover before I do anything anything else. Please understand where I’m coming from. I apologize for my lack of fulfilling prompts and what not, I’m just not in the condition to be writing at this moment.