Gia/Ego. 18+
Mostly vent and my latest interests
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@chioniphilia
Gia/Ego. 18+
Mostly vent and my latest interests
FINALLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I WANT TO MEET HER.... I NEED TO MEET HER.............
logging in after a tough week just to draw porn of a mediocre man nobody gives a fuck about... i love my this
it's ok oomfie... it's a noble duty..... you're the emperor throwing ashida's dick at us, hungry peasants...
They really did all that right in front of him
Every now and then I MUST go through and spam like and reblog a bunch of posts from the tokophobia tag, it is important for my head.
But WHY IS IT FILLED WITH PREGNANCY FANTASIES.
I do not find forced pregnancy to be a funny concept. Yes even if the character people want to impregnate is a man. Amazingly enough as someone who grew up in a culture with forced pregnancy being an actual fucking threat I heard since I was about 13 years old, the concept repulses me! As someone who grew up in queer and trans friend groups who were ~jokingly~ told we should be correctively raped and impregnated to cure us I kinda want to set the speaker on fire every time I hear it!
I have tried many, many times to express to people how much pregnancy revolts and terrifies me and how deep it runs, but I don't feel like it has ever gotten through in any way that matters.
Other people's wanted pregnancies don't bother me, but I would rather have all my blood replaced with fire ants.
They really did all that right in front of him
and NOTHING for timothee chalamet
I was haunted by the image of topless Kaiji smoking
I was haunted by the image of topless Kaiji smoking
Tomorrow will be one year of this one RP with my friend, I wanted to draw something for it but I couldn't decide which scene I wanted to draw....so I just drew a bunch of them lmao
It takes place in an alternate universe where Ichijou's return to the Sakura House is not to find Murakami, but Kaiji. Neither is especially happy about it, but Ichijou clearly has nowhere else to stay; and Kaiji feels responsible for the state that he's in. It's supposed to be a temporary engagement; but one thing leads to another and they find themselves entrenched in yet another deadly plot.
being trans truly is just mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and mourning and
ICHIJOU & KAIJI FOILS ANALYSIS
Iāve been hankering to make a post of this variety and I finally had some time to sit down and think about it. So here are my messy thoughts about them!
What interests me in particular is that, ultimately, Kaiji and Ichijou have the same core understanding of society: "Capitalism is a bitch and only the people with access to wealth will succeed and climb to the top". They come to the same conclusions about the system that they live in, and even have roughly the same motivations (survival: achieving wealth/success).
They ostensibly agree with each other, and want the same things on a base level; but they couldn't have approached life more oppositely if they tried. As to why that is...I want to take a look at two particular periods in their lives; once again, in perfect contrast to each other.
Upbringing: Loved vs Ignored
There's something to be said for Ichijou's family life being described as barely a few words of contrast against what Murakami had.
Itās known that Ichijou didnāt have any kind of close relationship with his family, to the point that it severely affected his social growth. Heās an only child and was more or less left to his own devices, with no sense for how a family is supposed to come together or celebrate together; but he would see it all around him, in his classmates and seeing families interacting together. Quite early on, Ichijou learned that his lack of care was unique, which itself primed him to be more conscious of the unfairness in the world around him.
On the other hand is Kaiji; who, while he surely had his own issues growing up being mostly raised by his mother with an either absent or dead father, he still had a much more nurturing environment. From part 6 we know just how much Hatsue imparted onto Kaiji; in spite of how cringy he thinks his mom is, the two share a lot in common; itās clear that she very much molded Kaiji and he took her ideals and never-give-up attitude to heart.
So in contrast to Ichijou whose awareness of an unfair world comes from a place of personal affect, for Kaiji itās first noticed more from a place of moral dissonance. Theyāre coming at society from totally different angles, even in childhood. And thenā¦
Coming to Tokyo: Determined vs Drifting
It starts out kind of the same, doesn't it? But...
Both of them come to Tokyo looking for work. Once again though, thereās a difference in how their ānewā lives begin; and this time itās Ichijou whoās advantaged over Kaiji.
Ichijou comes to Tokyo with a friend. Possibly his only valued friend at that. He has someone that can support him, a buffer of sorts, and rather a doormat. Murakami lets Ichijou push him around quite a lot, tolerant of his difficult personality. Even past Murakami though, Ichijou manages to foster connections with the people that he works with; itās not exactly his goal to be friends with them, but he gets dragged out to spend time with them enough that they kind of become part of his social circle. They have their workplace in common, something they can complain about together. His radius of comfort expands.
While itās true that in joining Teiai he completely severs most of those connections, itās still a behaviour that Ichijou has learned he has: heās good at fostering connections and building networks. He learns to rely on others. He also learns he has the guts to cut them out at the drop of a hat. He learns to put himself above everyone, while still relying on their support.
By contrast, Kaiji comes to Tokyo more or less not knowing what he really wants to do; again, he approaches life from the side of ideal ā he is supposed to find a job and become successful. The hows of that arenāt things heās thought too much about. He doesnāt bring anyone with him; he makes acquaintances with people he works with, but itās never deep. These arenāt people that Kaiji can rely on. He in fact allows himself to be relied upon, something that makes him feel good (as with Furuhata; for however poorly that went). He'd like for his kindness to be reciprocated, and for it to push him toward success; but that's not the type of place he lives in. That's not how the world works.
Ultimately, Kaiji is an outsider. The other, more stubborn side of his strong connection to ideals is that he wonāt compromise on what he believes personally. Which is generally at odds with the world of working people. He doesnāt want to put on a fake smile or dress up to act like a professional; thatās not who he is and heās not pretending otherwise.
As a result Kaiji is always an oddity, and kind of has to learn to fend for himself in Tokyo with no real network to support him. Heās not motivated to find a career, and itās easy for him to get bogged (hah) down by depression when thereās no one else there to kind of pull him out of it. He doesn't have anyone there to tell him he's being naive when he listens to loan sharks and falls for the same tricks over and over.
One learns to wear the skin of Teiai.
The other is skinned by Teiai.
Past + Present
Their childhoods defined a lot of how they view the world and why. Their experiences in Tokyo taught them critical lessons living in the "real" world. Putting it together, you get:
Ichijou; who understood his societal inferiority at a young age, and upon coming to Tokyo learned how to socially move through the ranks, gaining a sense of comfort.
Kaiji; who was raised with care and with strong ideals, whose venture to Tokyo was a challenge to shatter those ideals; but his upbringing makes him stubbornly hold on, to his ever-growing detriment.
Itās no wonder they both follow the paths that they do. Kaiji moves through life acting on ideals, with a somewhat naĆÆve belief that other people are generally well-meaning; it makes him an easy mark, even easier when he lacks the motivation to become a productive member of society because of how abhorrent he finds the conformity of it all. Heās nobody, he doesnāt want a job, he believes in peopleā¦of course someone like Endou would be able to talk him into the Espoir. It's no wonder he keeps falling for the promise of easy money.
Ichijou on the other hand wants security and stability and absolute certainty that he wonāt be poor or looked down on ever again; and he knows heās good at networking. As far as he can tell, Teiai is working to his strengths; and he doesn't have any problem with pushing other people down the way Kaiji might. So Teiai becomes something that he feels he can climb in the ranks of. He's willing to mold himself as much as he needs to in order to achieve success; and so gradually becomes more and more entrenched in Teiai's philosophies.
They're both burned for it, of course. Kaiji is tricked and taken advantage of and bites off more than he can chew; and pieces of him are chipped away, left scarred.
For Ichijou, it's what remains of his former self that's chipped away; until the whole of him is tossed aside. No matter how much he might have tried to conform to Teiai's mold, it was never going to be enough. He was still a part of the lesser class; he would never amount to anything with Teiai.
At the end of it all, they're fundamentally the same; different life paths have pushed them in different directions, but it's the same driving force that pushes them forward; even if they express it in complete opposition to each other: one standing stubbornly righteous but aimless and floundering while the other is driven by cutthroat conviction.
BONUS: Tamotsu
This is nothing it has nothing to do with anything but I think itās funny that they both have a childhood bestie named Tamotsu. I just think Ichijou would be really mad about it like you canāt copy me. Yours is boring anyway. Die
ANYWAYS that's my foil essay. I definitely boiled some elements wayyyy down for the sake of looking at it through a comparative/contrasting lens but I feel like it's still true enough to them. I just find their character dynamics soooo interesting.
If it was up to me they'd be teaming up in the final arc; with Ichijou learning that his approach of working his way up Teiai's ladder was never going to work, he's forced to begrudgingly join forces with Kaiji' because as much as he hates to admit it, he recognizes the tenacity and ferocity that exists in him. Ichijou has seen Kaiji when he has the fighting spirit, he is exactly the sort of person to team up with against Teiai to get his true revenge....
But who knows, he might very well then betray Kaiji at the end. They have to have their final showdown, after all.
inspector rat man
if i don't lock in they'll kill me. if i don't lock in they are going to kill me. not in an honourable way. like a dog. afraid
it's yuri time