꒰ঌ ✦໒꒱🤍L falling in love🤍꒰ঌ ✦໒꒱
He would be having a conversation with Watari and you would come up. He’d mention how he likes your company and the two of you get along. Maybe he would ramble a bit, and Watari would make some remark like “Ah young love”. After L questions him about it, he’d go on to say something like “she seems good for you. It’s nice that you have someone. I’ve always thought there’s a person out there for everyone, I’m happy you found yours.”
This would make L stop right in his tracks. Up until now he just thought he liked your company. But Watari’s comments has made him analyse all of your past and future interactions. And after realizing that his feelings for you may very well be more than just platonic, he can’t stop thinking about it.
And he’s noticing his own behaviour more too. He didn’t realize before, but he sure does now. How he thinks about you all the time, how he gives you special treatment compared to the other members of the task force, how the best part of his day is when you talk to him. How he counts the minutes since you last talked to him, how he can’t help but to look at you all day. How he gets this funny feeling in his chest when you smile at him. Has it always been like that? When did this start? Do other people notice? Do you notice?
As I’ve mentioned before, I think he’s the type of guy who actively tries to repress those feelings when he realizes he has them. Until he can’t anymore.
He would not only start to notice his romantic feelings, but his sexual feelings as well. He didn’t realize how often he checks you out. Or how much he likes the way your mouth looks, how nice your voice is. And now that he’s aware of this behaviour, it becomes more frequent. Which leads to some interesting new developments, i.e. random hard-ons all the fucking time.
It makes him feel like a teenager again, when his dick seemed to have a mind of its own. He really thought he was past that now. Sure, he gets surprise boners every now and again (as I understand it, that’s just what having a dick is like lol, idk I don’t have one), but now it seems like he gets them all the time.
You absentmindedly touch his arm - boner. You wear a shirt with a bit of cleavage - boner. You stub your toe and make a little noise that kind of sounds like a moan - boner.
Fortunately for him, his poker face and sitting position makes it very easy to hide. Usually he just ignores it and focuses on work till it goes away. But sometimes, when it’s late , and he’s alone, and he has a hard on that absolutely will not go away, he does what any human does in that situation. And come on, he’s a man, he might try to resist it , but he just can’t help but think of you while he does it. He does feel guilty but it just happens. And it forces him to come to terms with the fact that yes, he in fact is a pervert.
This is where the sexual tension would start. I would argue that the two of you had some romantic/sexual tension from the get go, but now that he’s aware of his feelings, it’s definitely more noticeable. And hard to manage. But realizing that he likes you has got him wondering if you feel the same. He’s constantly going back and forth between being absolutely convinced you feel the same way, to thinking there’s absolutely no way you ever would. He’s spent hours, days, weeks, even, thinking about it in a million different ways, and he still can’t figure out if you like him back or not.
On the one hand, you’re nice to him, you seem to get him, have the same sense of humour as him, you talk to him more than anyone else in the task force, you often smile at him, touch his arm sometimes (the quizzes he’s taken says that’s a good sign), and you don’t seem put off by his “weird” appearance or behaviours. But on the other hand, you're nice to everyone, not just him. Also you're an attractive young woman with options, and there is no universe where an absolute 10/10 would ever go for, at best a 5/10. He knows he’s not ugly or anything but he still has quite a low self esteem and can’t see anyone ever liking him for who he is (poor guy).
But still, he can’t completely write it off. Sometimes when he looks at you, and you briefly make eye contact, he swears he sees that same yearning hunger in your eyes. But it's clear neither of you are going to give in so it ends up being a few months of mutual pining and suffering in silence for the both of you.
Until…say, perhaps…the two of you are the only ones in the office one night, working late. You make small talk which turns into chatting which turns into a loaded conversation, maybe even a little argument perhaps? Idk idk. And somehow you end up kissing…
Neither of you are completely sure who initiated the kissing. Maybe both of you went for it at the same time? You can’t really be sure. But one second you were talking and the next…well…you're all over each other. And remember, this is months in the making, both of you have wanted this so badly for so long, unsure if the other felt the same way. So when it happens, it's got an urgency to it. It’s desperate, and hungry, and a little clumsy. No room for thinking, it’s just action. And before you know it you’re in an empty room with a bed.
I don’t know if this would happen when the task force is still working out of hotels, or when they’ve upgraded to the headquarters building. But either way, there’s bound to be an empty room somewhere, and after finding the nearest one, there’s only one thing on both of your minds. Que sex and talking, and sex and talking. Taking a bath afterwards maybe, because I don’t think he would like the sticky feeling after sex (obviously there would be some more hanky panky in the bath hehe). Followed by getting room service because the man can’t go 3 seconds without consuming sugar. Then more taking, a lazy make out session followed by you convincing him to stay the night with you. He doesn't get much sleep but he does watch you a lot. You’d probably wake up to him laying next to you just looking at you lol.
Going to work the following day would probably be a little awkward lol. You would probably have to keep it a secret from the others. Neither of you want it to interfere with work. But you would definitely sneak off whenever you can. Even if you only have time for a quickie in some random broom closet. This man's newfound thirst for pussy has him doing things he never thought he would, like hiding from hotel staff in some storage space, holding his hand over your mouth to keep you quiet while he goes down on you because you only have a 10 minute window before you have to get back to work and this is the best you could do with that little time.
I’ve mentioned this before, but I don’t think he would fully understand why you’re with him. He’s really happy you like him back and he’s not going to ask any questions, but it still baffles him. This is also very new for him and he doesn’t quite know what to do but he’s determined not to fuck it up.
I think he is the type of guy, that has just accepted, a long time ago, that he will never be in a relationship with anyone. We know L is lonely but truthfully I don’t think he’s ever actually wanted a relationship before. I don’t think he’s been sad that girls don’t seem to notice him. I think he wishes he had more human connection in general. But up until now, he has probably been of the opinion that romantic or sexual relations just doesn’t suit him, or his lifestyle.
He’s never been in love before, he’s never even really had a crush before. Not that he meets a lot of people he’d consider going out with. He’s very isolated and the only human interactions he has are work related. So it probably doesn’t come up very often. Not that I think he would be sad about it. Before he met you he probably viewed falling in love and a nuisance. He’s a very logical person and wouldn’t want his judgment to be impaired because of feelings. He knows people do stupid things for love and honesty he could just do without it.
He doesn’t really think he’s missing much anyway. He also knows even if he wanted it, the likelihood of finding someone that wouldn’t be put off by him is very slim. So better to just accept the fact that he will never be in love, never have sex, and never settle down. The fact that he will spend most of his life alone is just a given. Or so he thought.
Then suddenly you come into the picture. and you’re smart and attractive and funny and you actually seem to get him. Like for real. It’s been said that L’s eyes feel like they’re looking directly into your soul, but that’s how he feels about you. It’s like you have the ability to see straight through all the walls he’s built up, and gaze straight at his very soul. Some of those walls were intentionally put up by him to make himself seem more hard to read and intimidating. Some of the walls have always been there, even if he doesn’t know it himself. But you just saw through all of that, straight through to the center. From the very first moment, you’ve always seen him. And he senses it every time you look at him. He feels like you’re the only one, apart from maybe Watari, who always seems to know when he’s lying, when he’s putting on an act (which is most of the time), or playing some kind of angle to get what he wants. Like you have some built in L bullshit detector lol.
It makes him understand that he is no different than anyone else. In most aspects, he is different from other people. He’s the greatest detective in the world. The smartest man in the world. But when it comes to being in love. He’s just as pathetic and human as the rest of us.
He always thought he was above it, that it would never happen to him. But now that he’s got a taste of it, he knows he craves love and intimacy just like all other people. He too has the very human desire to be desired. Now that he has it, he has no idea how he ever went 24 years without it. Or how he was ever content with going without it for the rest of his life. Now that he has it he isn’t going to give it up or let something ruin it. And lightning doesn’t strike twice. He got lucky enough to find one person to love him, no way he could ever get it to happen again. Not that he would want someone else. It’s you or nothing. And he can’t even imagine going through the rest of his life with nothing. Not after experiencing sex and love and intimacy with you. So he is dead set on making sure not to mess anything up.
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