Got any HCs for our little guy Steve trying to figure out his bisexuality pre-war? And maybe some regarding how it is for him to to wake up in a new world where, despite all the shit still surrounding sexuality, there seems to be an open dialogue?
Steve kind of doesn’t feel like he had to figure anything out within himself, because he just felt the same about guys and girls and figured maybe he wasn’t interested in either. Then he’s goofing around with Bucky one day around the time they’re hitting puberty, laughing at his dumb friend tripping over the rug and he just watches Bucky lying there pouting in a sunbeam and realises oh.
So for a while he thinks maybe he’s just into guys. Or maybe he’s just into Bucky, which is cool since they’re screwing around from the time they realise how their dicks work. It feels like that’s backwards from how he should be realising this stuff, because he never tried to be into girls or anything, but it seems like it might make sense. He’s little and skinny and that’s what guys who are into guys are supposed to be like, right? It’s not like there are girls lining up to give him the time of day, anyway. Maybe he’s just gay.
It’s not ideal, obviously. He knows at some point Bucky’s going to have to get married, have a bunch of bouncy sunshine kids just like him with some lady. Bucky insists he won’t but of course he will, people would understand Steve being a confirmed bachelor but Bucky Barnes? It’s inevitable, but the time they’ve got together is pretty great.
But then Steve meets Agent Carter and oh. There’s that feeling again. That gut-punch oh, fuck. And then he’s on tour with the USO and the girls are nice. They goof off with him and ask about his soldier boy and teach him how to eat pussy (because let’s face it it’s not like he’s getting tips from Cosmo), and it’s really easy. It’s not like pretending at all, it’s not like he’s forcing himself into anything. And it doesn’t feel like forced proximity either, it feels like he’s genuinely interested.
So Steve is like what the fuck, because now he’s pretty sure he likes guys and girls? And what the hell is Bucky going to think about that? Because Bucky’s never looked at a lady for anything but appearances in his life. Steve thinks maybe the serum fixed him, straightened out the bent part of his mind just like it did his crooked spine. What if he doesn’t like guys anymore? What if he doesn’t like Bucky?
But then there’s Azzano, and Steve hauling his guy off a table and grabbing him to make sure he’s alive and oh. It’s still there. And then there’s the gay bar in London, the one they sneak off to half-cut and find a guy who wants them both. And Steve definitely likes that. So maybe the serum didn’t fix him, maybe there wasn’t anything to fix? Weird.
Then he loses Bucky and the world ends.
He wakes up in the future and doesn’t want to know. He’s intellectually both freaked out and happy all at once that it’s legal to be gay now, that he could have a boyfriend and get married and shit, but without Bucky it’s just grey. He only starts reading up about gay rights and what it means to be queer once Bucky’s back in the world, when he wakes up one morning to see Bucky snoring in a sunbeam on the pillow next to him and oh.
Then he finds the fucking word. There’s actually a name for it. He’s not just a freak of nature and nobody bothered to tell him.
“That’s what it’s called?!”
“Yeah.” Sam hands over his tablet with the Wiki article on bisexuality open for him to see. He had no idea Steve didn’t realise that was a thing, or he would’ve caught him up sooner.
“For fuck’s sake!” Steve leans over the back of the couch to yell at Bucky in the kitchen. “D’you know there’s a thing called bisexual?!”
“What the shit’s that?” Bucky yells back, wandering into the living room drying his hands with a dishtowel.
“People like me, they like guys and girls.”
“Huh.” Bucky cocks his head. “S’that legal too now?”
“Totally legal.” Sam cuts in, thoroughly amused by the whole thing. Steve looks so pissy about it, like it’s a huge inconvenience to suddenly find out there’s a name for his sexuality.
“Somebody could’ve fuckin’ told me.” Steve grumbles, turning back to Wikipedia. “Would’ve saved a whole lot of hassle.”
