Tell Me A Dad Joke

Lauren-Utahhhhh-Hit me with your best dad joke 🌈🎧📷🌊⛈🌿🦀😈🤗 [ Ask Away ] [ Me ] [ Insta ]

[alritepetal]

i am a forehead kiss hoe…. give me all the forehead kisses in the world. come on. i’m ready. 

[petitetimidgay-deactivated20240]

the amount of gay shit i can’t do because i don’t have local gay pals is astounding

[caffeinewlw]

me, going anywhere: i hope i meet another lesbian

[tastefullyoffensive]

True love. (via TLBurkhalter)

[oceanadie-deactivated20200903]

Update:

[help-mywife]

help, my wife got wine drunk and tried to set our marriage certificate on fire, saying “good luck trying to return me without the receipt”

[thenatsdorf]

[myunrealisticfiction]

He got mad as helllll

[zelldas]

no other person on this planet was made for you, they were made for themselves. love is all about choices. no one is going to be perfect for you, and i think we need to stop raising everyone on the belief that someone out there, just one other person in the whole world, was “made for you” because it isn’t true. no one is made for you, besides you. other people belong to themselves. if you want to make it work with someone, it’s about hard work, understanding, compassion, communication, and choice

[different-landscapes]

[senseitive]

one day you’ll wake up at 9:30am on a Sunday w the love of ur life and you’ll make some coffee and pancakes and it’ll all be alright

[xpectations]

yeah you’re cute but will you lay in bed all day with me watching documentaries and conspiracy theories

[caffeinated-suggestions]

Concept: sleepy kisses in the dark, smiling against your lips.

[insomniac-arrest]

as a gay, I have two moods

[comrade-kirby-deactivated202009]

The seven deadly sins as vines

[u-s-a]

[narret-deactivated20161120]

[10knotes]

Where is the otter that looked so disgusted with its watermelon?

here he is

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

[mielmelon]

inside your body is PITCH BLACK your cells do all of that in the DARK

[babelady]

self care is swallowing lit matches every 5 minutes so that ur cells can see whatever the fuck they’re doing in there

[twitterlols]