chopmermaid

a chop // bisexual mermaid princess // literary and YA fangirl // she/they??

[bad-moodboard]

Dutch, 15th Century

[randomencounters]

Encounter: a Sneer

[memorycycle]

my moat fucking sucks and i am going to get sieged

[made-in-saudiii]

ah yes iced coffee, the most important meal of the day

[jennsoups]

Robin! 💛

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[skittyminecraft]

x

[pencilonthemoon]

[chopmermaid]

Worked at an Italian restaurant and a customer wanted capers on their pizza and I kept asking what kind because I thought he was saying peppers with an accent

[eggcup-deactivated20180129]

twinks are down 1.25%

[thetyrannosaur]

call that a bear market

[sovietsofficial]

I hate that that statement is actually correct.

[exitwound]

[punished-nico]

what's the confusion? guy comes with an owl. your friends come over and hang out with the owl

[beardedmrbean]

seems to explain itself

[sirsullymore]

[gayweedanimal]

[doiponderordoiwander]

All I know about The Witcher is that the bard is trying really hard to get dicked down by Henry Cavill, and I mean, same, but like

Do I need to know more? Is knowning that there is a feral twink not enough?

[chopmermaid]

All the mages are also trying really hard to get with Henry Cavill. They are also feral

[sesamie-moving]

hello people today i ask: what is your favorite artificial flavor, generally? like if you’re having a new artificially flavored thing and need to pick a standard flavor, what are you going for?

[chopmermaid]

Orange, but I’ll also take a blue one if that’s an option

[45percenterthen]

nothing makes me cry like the embankment tube station voiceover story !!! nothing !!!!!!!

[45percenterthen]

embankment tube station voiceover story ❤️

[chopmermaid]

and now I’m crying

[connerys]

Cinderella (1950)

[enchanteddreameruniverse]

This. This moment is the most important in the movie. This is when the Prince falls for her - he was infatuated before but he clearly thought that the reason Cinderella was around him was because he was the Prince, but when he discovered she has no clue, he realised that she stayed and talked and spent the whole night with him because she likes who he was as a person - not his title. Not only that but he liked her; we don’t know what they talked about, but we can imagine it must have been interesting and nice to last a whole night so we know she just have said something that made him want to stay around her too. That’s why he wanted to find her, not cause she was pretty (I mean the guy couldn’t even remember her face and went off a shoe for God’s sake - which gives me a theory that the Prince has Prosopagnosia AKA face blindness) but because she liked him not his title, and he liked whoever she was, rich or poor.

[thesevenumbrellas]

The prince has face blindness and dumbass disease ok? He’s trying his best!

[cgmayra]

I always thought it was the magic. People don’t recongize me after getting a full-on dolled-up look and then return to my pajamas and chips. Magic makeup and glow up can cause disguise cause her step mom and sisters couldn’t even recongize her. She’s usually covered in cinders so they probably never even saw her face all washed up anyway. Literally blinded by a magical night where the face was never actually seen before, a beautiful metaphor to Cinderella finally being seen, respected, and even lovingly adored for the girl she was and not by the abusive nature she had at home. In this essay i-

[mooncustafer]

Also, no matter how good a description the Prince was able to give, somebody going through the guest list and trying to narrow down the possibilities would just see that Cinderella’s stepmother attended with her two daughters and nobody else. Probably they ruled out every attractive blonde twenty-something woman on the list before they figured the mysterious lady had to have been a gate-crasher and had to widen the search, at which point they went over to the shoe as a quicker way to test individuals.

[chopmermaid]

But also she doesn’t know he’s the prince? These two idiots are made for each other

[funnytwittertweets]

[lesbiansgoal]

[kimoramay-deactivated20170907]

I was told recently about a school that was shamed into changing its school motto. The motto was “I hear, I see, I learn.” Nothing wrong with that per se. Unfortunately the motto was in Latin, and the Latin for “I hear, I see, I learn” is “audio, video, disco”.

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

What the fuck that’s the best school motto ever change it back

[copperbadge]

Your yearly reminder that “I learn through suffering” can be translated into Latin as “Disco Inferno.” 

[quillsand]

i think everyone should be sillier. i think life would be better that way. i used a marker pen to change the label on the oat milk so that it says boat milk and now i crack up laughing every time i open the fridge