There’s a thing in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) called wise mind.
I’m gonna gross over the details here so pardon me, but anw. DBT is a therapy created for treating BPD. From what I’ve gathered, it’s mostly useful for mood disorders where the person tends towards extremes. Depression, mania, self-harm, substance abuse, etc. It involves mindfulness and teaches you how to regulate your mood.
What I’ll disclose here is a bit far from the original concept of wise mind.
The idea is that you have a rational mind and an emotional mind. The rational mind is the one thinking things in a logical, practical way. Emotional mind is the one deciding based on emotions and interests.
Some places define emotional mind as impulsive, inconsequential. They consider that the rational mind is right, but that the emotional side must be soothed. This distinction is useful if you struggle with impulsivity and must get a hold of yourself. My version is that the emotional mind can also be reasonable. It knows what you value, what’s important, how to make your life worth it. Brain-dead emotional impulsive thinking is only one side of emotional mind. For Sartre, notable existentialist philosopher, this might constitute “bad faith”. When you forego of your freedom and consider yourself at mercy of the circumstances. I will call this impulsive emotional mind as “inertial mind”.
The wise mind would be the integration or balance between the two minds. It takes both sides into consideration, is intuitive and mindful. It’s the kind of state where you feel whole. You get a feel for the right decision. Overall, just think yourself as a wise old wizard. People come to you. You take a moment of calm, focused pondering. Then, out of the depths of your erudition, you advise the person towards the most whole path. Ok this is stupid, but it’s honestly how it feels.
It sounds like a terrible concept really. Like what even is being wise, is that a bourgeoisie invention? I’m in a position where I need to make decisions of where I’m taking my life. That or drown on depression for longer. But even then, I’m plagued with doubt and lack of direction. “Wise” seems like the kind of bullshit someone fell for and is trying to make me believe.
But the potential of the concept jumped at me at some point. I saw it as a potential way towards happiness and having a direction. Then I tried it, and hoo boiii. I never noticed there were so many, many times where I failed to consider one of the sides. Sometimes I’m annoyed and decide on the first thing that appears on my view. Later, I find out I took a not so efficient path. And many times I think “what’s the best decision” and forget to consider how I feel. There are moments where I even disregard both reasons and stick to my inertia.
When I write, it’s out of an inspiration of some kind. Some faint idea forms and compels me, excites me to pursue it. To give it form, to make it more solid. To make sense of the most delightful aspects of my experience. And if I’m being fair with myself, to show it to other humans. An intentionality of showing it to someone is always present. It’s just not the same to write for myself and lock the text on the basement. Anw, I then go all the way around, setting up a stage for the idea. Giving proper context for its debut. The main point I wanted to write about was disclosed on the last two paragraphs. A short account of my current experiences, aspirations and musings. And, in contrast with my context, why maintaining wise mind became meaningful to me. The text could frankly end here, but I’ll try to give examples of ways wise mind has/could have helped me.
Rational mind. I like cute. However, too much cute for too long stresses me. I’m explaining that to someone who got criticized for being overly cute. I’ll say “even for you, if you were cute for like a whole hour nonstop, I would feel like punching you in the face”.
Wise mind, integrating emotional mind. Do fucking not. Their feelings and your relationship are more worthwhile than your explanation. Find another analogy.
Emotional mind. Once, I needed change for the bus. I decided to buy something. I found out I couldn’t use my ticket to get an extra free burger. Also, I was poorly attended. Out of annoyance, I decided to “just take the damn burger already”. I wanted change for 10 monis, and it turned out that the burger price was 10 monis. So, in the end, I didn’t get the change.
Wise mind, integrating rational mind. Your annoyance is narrowing your vision and clouding your attention. You forgot why you wanted to buy the burger. There are plenty of shops here, go somewhere else, somewhere cheaper.
Impulsive mind, or inertial mind. I’ll stay at home on the weekend instead of going to uni to study. I’m depressed, tired, don’t wanna leave.
Rational mind. I have an assignment due today and I’m more productive at uni. Whenever I don’t go, I feel more depressed. My roommates might make noise. It’s better if I go.
Emotional mind. I don’t really wanna stay at home. I’m feeling I’m gonna be depressed. It’s better if I go.
Wise mind. forego of inertia, you are letting it decide for you. Both of your minds want you to go. Get moving already, it’ll feel better than you expect.
