Home Is You
Paring: Neteyam x Fem!Omatikaya!Reader
Warnings: NSFW 18+, established relationship, flirting , smut, cheating (technically), mentions of sex tapes/hot pictures/videos, mentions of pregnancy, mentions of child birth, mentions of blood, gunshot wounds, loads of trauma, explicit language and acts, p in v, orals (m&f receiving), our man falls into a coma, memory loss, kissing, touching. (If I forgot anything please lmk)
Word Count: 49.1k
Disclaimer: All my characters are aged-up! If that bothers you, please do not interact with my account or any of my post! Also for the this fic, Kiri is the biological daughter of Jake and Neytiri.
Index: mauri - homes in the Metkayina Clan, yawne - beloved, tƬywan - love, kelku - homes in the Omatikaya Clan. (If I forgot anything please lmk)
Main M.List
You met Neteyam when your steps were still wobbly and your words mostly giggles. He was barely steadier than youāhis braids just beginning, his steps a little widerābut from the moment he found you crouched near the roots of the Home Tree, you became his shadow. He toddled up with a half-eaten yovo fruit and, without hesitation, tore it in two with clumsy fingers, offering you the larger half. It was sticky and sweet, and you always remembered it as the moment he chose you. And maybe⦠the moment you chose him too.
From then on, it was rare to see one of you without the other. You learned to walk together, your hands often tangled as you teetered around the village. When you fell, heād help you up, and when he tripped, youād sit beside him until he stood again. The other adults would chuckle at the sightātiny footsteps weaving through the forest, your matching laughter echoing through the trees. Youād nap curled beside him in the Sullyās hammock during long afternoons, Neteyamās hand always reaching for yours in sleep, even when heād roll away. Jake would raise a brow and smirk knowingly. Neytiri would only smile, brushing your hair back and calling you syulang, her little flower. They saw it earlyāwhat you and Neteyam would someday becomeāeven when you were still too young to understand it yourselves.
You both remembered when Neytiri was pregnant with KiriāNeteyam was confused at first, always poking at his motherās growing belly and asking when the baby would āstop hiding.ā You didnāt understand it either, but you liked resting your head beside him on Neytiriās belly, watching it move as little Kiri rolled inside. When she was finally born, Neteyam was speechless, wide-eyed and soft as he held her tiny hand. āSheās mine,ā he whispered to you with the quiet pride only a big brother could wear. You just nodded, understanding without needing to speak.
Then came Loāak. You were both a bit olderāNeteyam nearly sixāand you still remember when Neytiri told you heād be getting a brother. Neteyam practically vibrated with excitement, dragging you around the village talking about all the things heād teach his brother: how to climb, how to throw a spear, how to chase glow bugs at night. āAnd Iāll teach him how to protect you,ā he added casually, like it was obvious. You just smiled and said, āHeāll have the best big brother.ā When Loāak was born, Neteyam wasnāt overwhelmed like with Kiriāhe was ready this time. āIām gonna be the best,ā he told you, gently adjusting the babyās blanket like he was holding the future. He even whispered to Loāak that he already had a best friendāand that it was you.
Those years were full of joy. Your days were endless stretches of running through the forest, racing along vines, whispering secrets while hidden in the high tree canopies. You shared everythingāfruit, beads, bruises, laughter. When Tuk was born and made the family five, you both stood over her, older now, understanding just how sacred it was to grow up surrounded by love. Neteyam pressed a kiss to her forehead, then turned to you. āI hope she finds someone like you,ā he whispered, and you pretended not to hear how warm your cheeks became.
Jake often joked that youād been adopted by the Sullys long before any ceremony could make it true. Neytiri treated you like a daughter, braiding feathers into your hair with loving fingers, scolding you just as gently as she would Neteyam. And sometimes, when she caught the two of you dozing in a sunbeam, limbs tangled and breath in sync, sheād just exchange a look with Jakeāa knowing one. The kind that said, itās always been them.
By the time you were thirteen and Neteyam fourteen, you were no longer just playmates. You were partners in everything: training, learning, dreaming. But even then, the purest part of your bond was the way you looked at each otherālike somehow, in all the chaos and beauty of the forest, you had each found home.
When Neteyam turned fourteen, the village buzzed with anticipation. It was also his timeāhis rite of passage, the long-awaited climb to the floating mountains to claim his ikran. You werenāt allowed to go with him, though Eywa knew you tried to convince the elders otherwise. āIāll just hide behind the rocks,ā you had argued, arms crossed and defiant. But Jake only ruffled your hair, and Neytiri kissed your cheek with a chuckle. āYouāll have your turn, little one. Let him fly.ā
You waited at the edge of the village the entire day, pacing, chewing your bottom lip, weaving and unweaving a small bracelet youād started just to keep your hands busy. Every time you looked up, your eyes searched the skies, your heart jumping at the faintest sound of wings. And then, finally, you saw him.
Neteyam came soaring over the trees with the wind in his braids and the sun blazing behind him, riding the back of a fierce, sharp-beaked blue ikran. His smile was wide, radiant, full of victory. His yips of joy echoed across the forest and lit something wild in your chest. You didnāt wait. You ranābare feet pounding across the ground, eyes stinging with happy tearsāand launched yourself into his arms the moment he landed. He caught you effortlessly, laughing as you wrapped your arms and legs around him like a clingy yip-yip. āI did it,ā he whispered into your neck, and you just nodded, tears soaking his shoulder. āI know,ā you breathed. āI never doubted you.ā
The next night, the village danced in celebration. Neteyam completed his Dream Hunt, bringing back a successful kill and presenting it with reverence. The people welcomed him as one of themāwith chants, with firelight, with the steady pounding of drums. You stood beside his family, your heart full of pride. Loāak teased you all night, nudging your shoulder and muttering, āYouāre gonna cry again, arenāt you?ā And you did. But you didnāt care, you were so proud of him.
A year later, when you turned fourteen, it was your turn. And just like you had waited for him, Neteyam waited for you. He rose before the suns and flew to the floating mountains ahead of you, perched among the cliffs like a silent shadow waiting for you to arrive. You knew he was there watching, waiting, smiling. When you approached the ikran rookery, heart pounding, palms sweaty, your eyes fierce with determination, you didnāt know that far above, Neteyam held his breath with pride as he followed you below the waterfall, āyou got this. Remember what I taught you.ā
You tamed your ikran with grace and fire, your spirit strong and your heart steady. And when you paused. Neteyam ran up to you holding the rope around your ikranās mouth and guided her to face the edge of the cliff. āFirst flight seals the bond, think fly.ā
āFly?ā And just like that you took off, quickly finding a way to steady yourself in the back of your now winged companion, the grin on your face nearly split you open. He stood there on the cliff, hands cupped around his mouth as he cheered for you. You returned home flying side by side with feathers tangled in your braids and windburn on your cheeks, your soul forever changed. When you landed, Neteyam was the first to greet you. His hands framed your face, his eyes bright. āYou were beautiful up there,ā he said softly. āLike you were born to fly.ā
You became one of the people that night, dancing beside Neteyam around the flames, your foreheads pressed together as the village sang for you. Jake lifted you into a strong embrace, calling you daughter with pride. Neytiri wept and braided a special feather into your hair. Kiri held your hand the whole ceremony. Even Loāak, grinning ear to ear, handed you a carved piece of bone shaped like a little ikran.
And Neteyam? He stood behind you the entire night, his hand warm on your waist, his eyes only ever on you. You were no longer just his shadow. You were his equal now, his partner. And it was written in every look he gave you.
The glances you exchanged held a different weight. Now you were fifteen and he was sixteen your bodies had begun to shift, youād noticed it first in his arms, how theyād grown thicker with muscle from climbing, hunting, training. His chest had broadened, his voice deeper now, richer. You caught yourself watching him from the corner of your eye as he helped build or skin a kill, your stomach flipping each time his back flexed under the stretch of his bowstring. And he noticed you, too. Your hips had begun to curve, your stride more fluid. The paint across your chest during ceremonies now made his mouth go dry. You would catch him staring sometimes, pupils wide, a subtle swallow in his throat as he looked away too late. Neteyam wasnāt good at hiding it, and his siblings were relentless.
Loāak smirked every time you came around. āYouāre staring again, big bro,ā heād nudge with his elbow, loud enough for you to hear, making your ears burn. Tuk would giggle and whisper, āYouāre always looking at her,ā and Kiri would grin with that knowing look and mutter, āYouāve got it bad.ā Even Jake noticed, pulling Neteyam aside once with a teasing tone and a raised brow. āKeep your eyes in your head, kid. Youāre not subtle.ā
The heat between you two thickened during sparring practice. Heād pin you, hand against your hip to brace you, and linger a second too long. Youād roll over him to escape, but not before he noticed the way your breath caught. Your touches began to last longer, skin to skin in the most innocent ways that didnāt feel innocent anymore. Then came a moment, that humid afternoon after a hunt, when he walked behind you, offering water. You took it, brushing his fingers, and when you turned, his gaze was already on your mouth. His ears twitched, his throat moved like he wanted to speak. He didnāt. But his eyes said it all.
It started slowly, the shift in how others looked at you both. At first, it was almost laughable, how the same boys who used to pull your braid now stammered when you smiled. Or how the girls, once shy around Neteyam, now found every excuse to ask for help, compliments bubbling on their tongues.
You had grown used to the lingering stares, but what you hadnāt expected was Neteyamās silence when one of the older hunters, Rokean, offered to walk you back to your kelku after training. You caught the flicker in Neteyamās jaw, the way he adjusted his stance, too stiff, too still. Later, while cleaning your bowstring by the fire, he dropped down beside you with a grunt.
āDidnāt know you needed someone to walk you home now,ā he said casually, picking at a loose thread on his chest strap. You paused. āDidnāt know I needed your permission either.ā
His eyes flicked to you, sharp and unreadable. āYou didnāt say no.ā You scoffed. āI didnāt say yes, either. I was being polite.ā
He leaned back, resting on his elbows, exhaling slowly. āHe looked like he was ready to offer you his entire kill pile just to get you to smile again.ā You turned to face him. āWhatās your problem, Neteyam?ā
āMy problem,ā he said, voice low, āis that Iāve seen the way you smile at me ā and then I have to watch you give that same smile to someone else like it means nothing.ā Your breath caught, heart hammering, but before you could snap back, the loud sound of laughter echoed nearby.
āOhh nooo,ā Loāak sing-songed, appearing from behind a cluster of trees, arms slung around Kiri. āTheyāre arguing again. Whatās this time? Another boy tried to breathe near her?ā
āOr a girl complimented his braid?ā Kiri added dryly. You rolled your eyes and Neteyam looked away, lips twitching. Then came the softest voice.
āYouāre not supposed to fight,ā Tuk mumbled as she padded up, holding a leaf plate of fruit. āYouāre supposed to love each other. Like kisses and hugs and babies.ā
Both of your faces snapped toward her in horror. āTUK!ā you squeaked. Neteyam choked on nothing. āWhat?!ā
Little Tuk blinked slowly. āThatās what mama said happens when people love each other too much.ā
The rest of the Sully family burst out laughing. Even Jake couldnāt hold it in. Neytiri buried her face in her hands, half-mortified, half-delighted. āYouāre grounded,ā Neteyam muttered, ruffling Tukās hair. āNo, you are,ā she said proudly. āYouāre grumpy.ā
You were trying not to laugh, your annoyance slipping away with the warmth of everyone around you. Neteyam leaned closer, voice quiet. āStill mad?ā You didnāt answer, just nudged his knee with yours. He smiled. āDidnāt think so.ā And though you didnāt say a word, the way your hand slipped into his as you walked off together made everyone, including Tuk, smile behind your backs.
But the jealousy went both ways, you just went as leveled headed as Neteyam. One day, you sat on a mossy stone near the gathering circle, fletching your arrows and pretending not to watch the lesson. Neteyam was helping Airi, one of the older girls in the village with her bow grip. She wasnāt exactly subtle, letting her hand brush his, laughing too loud at everything he said.
Your jaw clenched as you scraped the feather too hard, splitting it. Great. Across the circle, Kiri noticed. She nudged Loāak. āUh oh. Sheās got that look again.ā Loāak followed your glare and snorted. āPoor Airi. Sheās about to get shredded.ā You stood, trying to keep your face neutral, and walked over just as Neteyam leaned in to adjust Airiās arm. āHmm,ā you said lightly, arms folded. āDidnāt know bow training required that much touching.ā Neteyam blinked, surprised, and then grinned. āJust making sure her stance is right.ā
Airi smiled too sweetly. āHeās very helpful.ā
You gave her a polite but tight smile. āHeās also very taken. Or is that part unclear?ā
Airi blinked, caught off guard, her hand still awkwardly on Neteyamās arm. āOhāI didnāt mean anything, I didnāt thinkāā
āI know you didnāt thinkt.ā You didnāt raise your voice, but it was firm with the same smile. āMaybe thatās the problem.ā A beat of silence passed, thick and awkward. Airi gave a small, forced laugh, murmured something about needing to help her mother, and quickly walked off.
The second she was out of earshot, Neteyam let out a low whistle and crossed his arms, eyeing you with open amusement. āDamn.ā
You turned toward him slowly, still tense. āDonāt.ā
āDonāt what?ā His grin widened. āSay how hot that was?ā
You shot him a look. āYou didnāt stop her.ā
āI didnāt even see her coming,ā he said, laughing. āI was halfway through talking to Loāak about hunting patterns. She ambushed me.ā
You huffed, still annoyed. Neteyam tilted his head, stepping closer. āYou know, itās funny.ā
āWhat?ā
āI donāt have a girlfriend.ā Your eyes narrowed and put your hand to rest on your hip very sassily. āReally?ā
āReally,ā he repeated, voice low and teasing. āNo official titles. No agreements. Nothing carved in stone.ā
Your chest twisted. You hated when he did this, danced the line between teasing and truth, between almost and not quiet.
Then he leaned closer, eyes locking on yours. āBut if I did? You know itād be you.ā You froze, caught completely off guard. Your lips parted, but no sound came out. From behind, a snort of laughter broke the tension, Loāak, of course. āYou guys are exhausting.ā
Kiri added dryly, āOne of these days youāre both just going to explode from the tension and take the whole kelku with you.ā
āI like her better than the other girl,ā Tuk said seriously, tugging on Neteyamās tail. āSheās prettier. And funnier. And nicer.ā You buried your face in your hands.
Neteyam chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist. āCanāt argue with that.ā You didnāt pull away. You couldnāt. Not when he was this close, warm and solid and entirely too pleased with himself. And even though you wanted to stay mad⦠part of you was glowing. Because for all his teasing, you knew he meant it.
A few years passed, just like that. What started as sleepovers and sharing fruit as toddlers had blossomed into something much deeper, something no longer so easy to ignore. By the time you were seventeen and Neteyam had just turned eighteen, the change between you had settled in quietly but unmistakably.
The flirting had evolved from playful to lingering. The touches ā brushing hands as you passed, his palm against your back when you ducked beneath the trees ā stayed just a little too long. And the jealousy⦠that hadnāt faded. If anything, it had grown more obvious. You saw it in the way Neteyam went stiff whenever another boy tried to flirt with you during hunts or communal dinners. Just like how your stomach would twist when one of the village girls leaned too close to him, laughing too loud at something he hadnāt even said.
Everyone saw it ā the whole family. Kiri gave you side-eyes, Tuk giggled whenever she caught the two of you looking at each other. Even Jake had exchanged a knowing look with Neytiri once when Neteyam instinctively reached for your hand as you crossed a riverbank. Still, nothing had been said. Until the night he finally did.
Neteyam had asked you to meet him just after eclipse, near the glade where youād learned to climb as kids. You thought maybe it was another stargazing night, like the ones you often shared in silence. But when you arrived, your breath caught.
He had cleared a space in the grass and lined it with soft, glowing petals. A few hung from nearby branches ā not too many, just enough to make the air feel alive with light. In the center, he stood waiting, hands behind his back, eyes brighter than youād ever seen them.
āYou remember this place?ā he asked softly, watching your face. You nodded. āYou dared me to climb that tree,ā you smiled, pointing up. āYou had to carry me down after I got stuck halfway.ā He chuckled, stepping closer. āIāve carried you through a lot since then.ā Your stomach twisted in the best way.
He took your hands in his. āI didnāt know how to say it before. I didnāt want to ruin what we had. But I canāt hold it anymore.ā
Your heartbeat like thunder in your chest. āI love you,ā he said. Simply. āI have for years. Youāre my best friend, my peace, the only thing that feels right no matter what else changes.ā You stared up at him, blinking fast, your chest tight.
He smiled, breathless now. āAnd if Iām lucky⦠maybe you feel the same.ā You didnāt answer with words. You stepped forward and pulled him into a hug so tight it nearly knocked the wind from him.
āI see you,ā you whispered against his skin, and he melted.
When you pulled back, your eyes were glassy. āIāve loved you too. I just didnāt know how to say it either.ā
His smile was the softest youād ever seen. āYou didnāt have to. I think Iāve always known.ā
And when he kissed you ā slow, reverent, trembling just slightly ā it felt like the end of a question youād both been asking for years. Ever since that night under the stars, everything between you and Neteyam had shifted.
There was no more wondering, no more hesitation, no more hiding behind half-glances and lingering touches. Now you could hold his hand openly in the village, sit a little closer during meals, steal little kisses when no one was watching. But the problem was⦠people were watching.
It started innocently enough. A few days after youād officially become a couple, Neytiri had walked into the family kelku earlier than expected and found the two of you curled up in Neteyamās hammock. Fully clothed, mostly, but definitely tangled together, your hands beneath his chest wrap and his lips pressed against your neck like he had no plans to stop.
She didnāt say anything, not at first. Just blinked, paused⦠and then quietly backed out of the space with a small smirk that left you burying your face in Neteyamās shoulder while he cursed softly under his breath.
āSheās going to tell everyone, āYou groaned. āShe probably already has,ā he whispered, but he kissed you again anyway. After that, the teasing began.
Loāak was the first to weaponize it. He caught you and Neteyam just outside the edge of the forest, your back against a tree and your mateās hands far too low on your hips for brotherly comfort. Loāak didnāt even pause ā just whistled as he passed.
āDonāt mind me, just trying to avoid eye contact so I can keep my vision,ā he said loudly, laughing all the way back to the village.
Then came Kiri, who found you both late one night when she came to retrieve a healing pouch from the supplies and opened the wrong curtain ā only to find Neteyam halfway beneath your wrap and your legs around his waist.
āAHHHH!!ā she squeaked, backing out so fast she knocked over a water basin. The two of you froze, staring wide-eyed at the closed flap.
Even Tuk caught youā¦Twice. Once during a morning swim, when Neteyam pulled you into his lap and whispered something you really shouldnāt have giggled at. Tuk popped out of the water like a fish, wide-eyed and innocent. āWhy is your face all red?ā she asked you curiously. āDid Neteyam say something naughty?ā
āGo swim,ā Neteyam said immediately, flustered. āGo!ā
The last time youād been caught, it had taken a full week for Loāak to stop whistling teasingly every time you and Neteyam so much as stood near each other. But today, the pull between you was too strong. Just a few stolen minutes behind the large cluster of flowering trees near the family kelkuāit wasnāt far, but just out of sight.
Neteyam had you pinned gently to the forest floor, his broad, paint-streaked body curled over yours, propped on his elbows to avoid crushing you. One hand was tangled in your hair, the other⦠was not where it shouldāve been, tugging your tweng slightly aside as his mouth met yours over and over. The air between you was breathlessāsweet, gasping kisses exchanged like secrets.
You had your hands on his back, fingers pressing into the muscle at his sides as you whispered, āNeteyamāā Then came a very small gasp.
āNeteyam?ā a tiny voice squeaked. Both of you jolted in unison. There, just a few feet away, stood Tuk, eyes huge, hands clutching her toy beads. She looked confused. Then her lower lip quivered.
āMommy!ā she screamed at the top of her lungs. āNETEYAM IS HURTING HER!!ā Your heart stopped.
āTuk, no! Wait, Iām notāā You scrambled up, dragging your tweng back into place, face burning.
Neteyam looked like Eywa herself had struck him. āTukāitās not what it looks like!ā Too late.
Tuk had already darted off in a blur, hollering, āMOMMY! COME FAST!ā Seconds passed in a panicked blur before Neytiri burst into the clearing, bow drawnāfollowed closely by Jake, Loāak, Kiri, and an already-snorting Tuk. The scene they arrived to? You, breathless and flushed, your hair mussed. Neteyam crouched beside you, shirtless as always, hands raised like he was surrendering to the Great Mother herself.
āSheāshe thought I wasāā he started.
āI thought she was hurt!!ā Tuk insisted, tears pooling in her wide golden eyes. āShe was saying āNeteyamāwaitāāā
āOh Eywa,ā you groaned, dropping your face into your hands. Jake turned away, trying not to laugh. Loāak didnāt bother trying. āBro. Again?!ā
Neytiri sighed deeply and gave her son a long look. āGreat mother Neteyam.ā
āOh my Eywa,ā Kiri echoed, arms crossed.
Meanwhile, Tuk sniffled into Neytiriās side, still confused. āBut why was her tweng pulled down again?ā You shrieked in embarrassment, as Kiri and Loāak started and uproar
Neteyam wrapped an arm around your shoulders and leaned in, whispering with a smug smile, āNext time⦠high in the trees?ā You elbowed him. āNext time? There wonāt be a next time.ā
It had been years in the making, the two of you growing up entangled in a love that had bloomed slowly and deeply, like roots stretching beneath the forest floor. Everyone had seen it comingālong before either of you were ready to admit it. The glances, the lingering touches, the way Neteyamās eyes always searched for you in a crowd and the way your laughter always came easiest in his presence. But still, nothing prepared you for the day he asked you to be his mate.
Youād been walking together through the forest, side by side as you always had, your fingers brushing now and then as they often did. He was quiet that day, more thoughtful than usual. You didnāt know where he was leading you until you reached that ridge above the canopyāthe one with the clearest view of the floating mountains. Youād sat there many times before, watching the banshees in the distance, the sky changing colors like a slow-burning fire. But this time, he turned to you with a look in his eyes you hadnāt seen beforeāsoft, certain, a little nervous.
āIāve known this since we were children,ā he said, his hands gently taking yours. āEven before I knew what it meant⦠I knew you were mine. I want to make that true in the eyes of Eywa. Will you choose me? Will you mate with me for life?ā
Your heart stilled, then surged. You had loved him for as long as you could rememberāthrough the awkward childhood years, the teasing, the jealous stares, the stolen kisses behind trees. It was never a question. āYes,ā you whispered. āAlways, Neteyam.ā
He exhaled, his forehead resting against yours, both of you whispering, āOel ngati kameie.ā His lips brushed yours thenāslow, reverent, full of all the promises he hadnāt yet spoken aloud. There was no pressure, no rush. Just love. You would wait for the ceremony. You would wait for each other.
The engagement celebration arrived just a few days later, and the entire clan seemed to vibrate with joy. Music echoed through the trees, lightstones glowing in woven vines above the gathering space. Neytiri had helped braid your hair that morning, her hands gentle as she whispered about her own mating to Jake, about the sweetness and seriousness of the commitment you were about to take. Jake, on the other hand, gave Neteyam a mock stern look and muttered, āIām so proud of you boy. You earned a good one. Just try to keep it in your tweng until after the ceremony, yeah?ā
Kiri hugged you both, whispering, āDonāt think we havenāt noticed all the disappearing acts and stolen touches. Eywa has eyes, you know.ā Even Loāak smirked and raised his drink in a toast. āTo the two worst liars in the family.ā Tuk, sweet and wide-eyed, had thrown flower petals at your feet and loudly declared, āNow you get to kiss forever!ā
As tradition dictated, you and Neteyam exchanged woven bands of hand-dyed fibers, made from plants you had both gathered together during a quiet week of preparing. They were simple, but beautifulāyour initials carved in tiny beads sewn into the weave. You danced beneath the moonlight, your bodies close, eyes locked, his hand warm on your waist. It felt like flying.
Later, when the songs faded and the laughter quieted, Neteyam took your hand once more and led you to your new shared kelku, tucked beneath the giant roots of a banyan tree not far from his familyās. Youād helped build it together, but tonight was the first time you saw it finished. Lightstones glowed warmly inside. Feathers and woven flowers draped along the doorway, and the bed of moss and pelts was soft and inviting.
āI wanted it perfect,ā he murmured, pulling back the curtain of vines to let you step inside first. Your breath caught as you turned, meeting his gaze. āIt is.ā
Inside, he was gentleāso gentle. Every kiss felt like a prayer, every touch reverent. You had both waited for this night, saved yourselves for it. There was laughter and clumsy shifting, soft sighs and long-held gazes. He murmured your name again and again, like a vow. And when the moment finally came, when you gave yourselves fully to one another, it wasnāt rushed or fiery or awkward. It was sacred. Yours. Together.
He held you through it, whispering encouragement, kissing away your nervousness, moving slow and with care. You clung to him, heart pounding, breath catching in your throat when pleasure overtook pain, and you realized just how deeply he loved you.
After, you lay tangled together, your head on his chest, your hand curled over his heart. The air still held the scent of the flowers heād hung earlier, and the sounds of the forest hummed softly around you like a lullaby. He kissed your hair and whispered, āYou are my forever, yawne.ā You smiled against his skin. āAnd you are mine.ā
Outside, the stars blinked gently through the treetops, and the moon cast soft light across your new home. And inside, beneath warm furs and whispered breaths, you slept curled in each otherās arms, truly mated, body and soul.
Not long after you and Neteyam were officially mated, it happened ā you became pregnant. The signs came slowly at first. Your body began to change in subtle ways: your energy dipped, your appetite shifted, and there was a soft heaviness blooming low in your belly. Neteyam noticed before anyone else, before even you. He started watching you more carefully, guiding your steps when walking through thick roots, brushing your hair away from your face when you were tired, lingering with his hand over your abdomen when you rested. He didnāt say anything for a few days ā just watched, waited, and loved you all the more gently.
When you finally told him, you placed his hand over your growing belly. You didnāt have to say anything; his eyes widened, and his whole expression softened into something almost reverent. āA baby,ā he breathed. āOur baby.ā And then he kissed you ā slow and deep and full of wonder ā before pulling you tightly into his arms. āEywa has truly blessed us,ā he whispered, voice thick with emotion. āI will take care of you both. Always.ā
The Sully familyās reaction was just as emotional. Neytiri pressed her forehead to yours and wept, hands cradling your cheeks as she whispered a motherās blessing over you. Jake grinned and clapped Neteyam on the shoulder, shaking his head in amazement. āThatās my boy,ā he said, laughing quietly. āStarting his own clan already.ā Kiri was immediately fussing over you ā bringing herbs, creating teas to ease discomfort, and weaving protective beads into your hair. Loāak smirked and muttered, āGreat, now thereās gonna be a mini you running around,ā but even he couldnāt hide the pride in his voice. Tuk was simply overjoyed. She wrapped her arms around your stomach and spoke to the baby as if they could already understand her. āIām going to teach you all my games,ā she promised seriously. āAnd weāll eat fruit and swim and make trouble.ā
As the seasons passed and your belly grew round with new life, you were never alone. The entire Sully family wrapped you in love and care. Clan members stopped by with gifts ā soft cloth for the baby wrap, carved toys, fruits and roots rich with nutrients. Neteyam, though, was your constant. He helped you bathe in the cool springs when your back ached, carried you when your legs tired, massaged your feet when you couldnāt sleep. His hands were always gentle, reverent. He spoke to your belly each night, whispering stories, dreams, and promises. āYou are already so loved, little one,ā heād say. āYour mother is the strongest soul I know. Youāre safe with us.ā
Then, one evening, the pain began. It started as a low pressure in your back, then came the waves ā tightening, pulsing, until your body was trembling with effort. Neteyam didnāt panic. He scooped you up and brought you to your kelku, calling softly for his mother. Neytiri arrived swiftly, calm and collected. āIt is time,ā she said, brushing your sweat-dampened hair from your face. āBreathe, maāite. I will help you bring this child into the world.ā
Neteyam knelt at your side, holding your hand, grounding you with his touch. āYouāre doing so well,ā he whispered, kissing your temple between contractions. āIām here. Iām right here.ā
Neytiri worked with the grace and strength of a seasoned mother. She guided you through each wave, spoke calmly even when your cries rose with the intensity. You gripped Neteyamās hand, locked eyes with him, and knew ā you could do this. With his love. With his strength. With your own. And then ā a cry. Not yours.
Your baby was born under the canopy of night, with Neytiri lifting him gently into the air, his small limbs flailing, his voice strong and full of life. āA son,ā she said, her own eyes shining as she handed him to you. āYou have a son.ā
Tears streamed down your face as you cradled him to your chest. Neteyam leaned close, arms around both of you, trembling with joy. āHeās perfect,ā he whispered. āYou did it, yawne. You gave us a son.ā
The family came soon after, quiet and wide-eyed. āHis name is Eylan.ā Neteyam told everyone. Neytiri placed a kiss on your forehead. Jake kissed his grandsonās tiny hand. Kiri smiled with misty eyes. Loāak and Tuk peeked from behind the doorway until they were invited in, and Tuk gasped, clutching her mouth. āHeās so small,ā she whispered. āCan I hold him?ā
That night, your kelku glowed with woven lanterns, the scent of sweet herbs, and the sound of lullabies. Neteyam held you close, his son resting on your chest, and whispered, āThis is our beginning. And I will love you both for the rest of my life.ā Time had a strange way of moving when your days were filled with joy.
Eylan turned one beneath the thick canopy of Home Tree, surrounded by warmth, song, and laughter. His wide amber eyes sparkled with the curiosity of his father, and his tiny feet already tried to run before they could walk properly. He giggled with wild abandon, often tumbling into arms always waiting to catch him ā yours, Neteyamās, or someone from the Sully family, all of whom adored him beyond reason.
Neteyam carved him a tiny wooden ikran, polished smooth with love, and painted it with soft, natural dyes. āSo you can fly even before youāre big enough to ride,ā he whispered to his son, lifting him high into the air with a grin as Eylan squealed in delight. That moment was one of hundreds. Every day, Neteyam would swing Eylan onto his shoulders and run with him through the trees, climbing, laughing, teaching him the sounds of the forest and the names of the creatures they passed. āThis is your home,ā he would say gently, tapping Eylanās chest with two fingers. āHere, and here with us.ā
The Sully family was hopelessly smitten with him. Tuk was his favorite playmate, often letting him ride on her back like a direhorse, giggling as she neighed and galloped through the roots of Home Tree. Kiri braided tiny strings of flowers into his baby hair, whispering gentle stories of Eywa, and Loāak ā despite pretending to be too cool ā secretly carved Eylan little animals out of soft wood, sneaking them into his sleeping furs at night.
Even Jake, who was always so focused, would sit down with Eylan and bounce him on his knee, speaking to him in English and Naāvi, smiling despite himself when the baby would babble back nonsense. Neytiri taught you how to soothe him when he cried and helped you prepare his first bow ā though it was mostly for show, since Eylan liked to chew on it more than anything.
And between it all ā it was you and Neteyam. Your bond grew even deeper, grounded in shared parenthood, laughter, and exhaustion. Late nights swaying with Eylan between your bodies, mornings where you awoke to Neteyam cradling him on his chest, humming softly, eyes half-lidded with peace. He was the most patient, most loving father you could have dreamed of. He told you that he had never known a love like this before ā not just for his child, but for you, the mother of his son.
āEywa has blessed me more than I deserve,ā he said once, eyes locked on you both while you nursed Eylan under the flowering branches of a quiet grove. āYouāve made me a father, a mate⦠a man.ā But peace doesnāt last forever.
The Sky People returned like a storm ā metal crashing from the skies, fire scorching the land. In that first wave, everyone fought. Even Neteyam, young but fierce, took to the air with his bow and his ikran to defend what mattered most. For a full year, the Sullys waged war at the edges of the forest ā watching, protecting, ambushing.
You kept Eylan close, never letting him out of your sight. Neteyam came back to you every night, stained with ash or blood or both, always checking to see his son sleeping safely in your arms before allowing himself to breathe.
There were nights where he didnāt speak ā only held you and buried his face in your neck. āI donāt want him to grow up like this,ā he murmured once, voice breaking. āHe deserves to know trees, not fire.ā When Eylan turned two, Jake finally said the words that shattered your heart: We have to go.
Neteyam protested quietly but understood. āTo protect Eylan,ā he said, holding his son tighter that night, āwe must let go of everything weāve ever known.ā
The night before you left, you and Neteyam stood hand in hand, watching your kelku ā the home where Eylan took his first steps, where Neteyam carved lullabies into the walls ā one last time. You whispered blessings to the trees, and Neteyam lifted your sleeping son to the stars. āEywa, guide us,ā he said. āGuide our family to where he can be free.ā And with hearts both heavy and hopeful, you turned toward the sea.
The sea was not the forest ā not in the way it whispered, not in the way it held you ā but in time, it became a new kind of home.
Arriving at the Metkayina village had been overwhelming. The open skies and endless horizon felt like another world entirely compared to the thick canopy you had once called home. You remembered how Eylan had clung to Neteyamās shoulders, wide-eyed and quiet, watching the turquoise waves roll beneath the woven walkways.
You had been welcomed with caution. The Metkayina were kind, but wary. Their ways were not yours. Your bodies were different. Your tongues spoke in a slightly different rhythm. But you learned ā all of you.
Neytiri, though her heart still longed for the trees, adapted with quiet grace. Jake trained beside Tonowari, his voice always calm but commanding. Kiri thrived ā as if sheād been born from the sea itself. Tuk learned fast, her tiny braids always dripping with salt water, and Loāak⦠well, Loāak found love.
Tsireya ā beautiful, graceful, radiant. Her laughter was a melody that rang through the cove like birdsong, and Loāak fell fast and hard. It was the kind of love that snuck up on him, the way it had for you and Neteyam all those years ago. She became a sister to you, her presence a comfort and joy. Her family welcomed you all in time ā friendships forged through hardship, trust, and time. Ronal eventually softened, especially when she saw the way you raised your children with the same fire and patience she held for her own.
You remembered when Neteyam first brought you to the deeper reefs. Your fingers laced, the sun cutting gold through the waves as he taught you how to dive with your whole body, how to let the sea carry you. āThis is freedom too,ā heād whispered against your skin as you surfaced, breathless and laughing. āJust a different kind.ā Four years passed like water slipping through your fingers, quietly, steadily.
Eylan grew into a wild-hearted six-year-old, just like his father. He was fearless in the water, nimble with his ilu, sharp-eyed and fast. He learned to dive before many of the Metkayina children his age, and Tonowari even joked once that āthe forest boy mustāve been born in the waves.ā Neteyam beamed with pride, always the first to cheer when his son surfaced from a dive or speared his first fish.
Your family expanded, love growing even deeper between you and Neteyam. One starlit night, under a blanket of bioluminescent light dancing across the sea, you told him you were expecting again. He cried softly, cradling your belly with reverence. āEywa gives me everything I never knew I needed,ā he murmured into your neck. āYou, our sons⦠our life.ā
From the moment Likan was born, the Sully kelku overflowed with even more laughter, love, and affection than ever before. Neytiri had been the first to hold him after Neteyam, her hands gentle and sure as she cradled her newest grandson, whispering quiet blessings in Naāvi. She marveled at how much he looked like his fatherāNeteyamās strong jaw, his deep golden eyesābut with your nose and the soft curl of your lips. She pressed a kiss to Likanās brow and then turned to you, tears in her eyes. āMa āite, you and my son⦠you make such beauty together.ā
Jake, too, was wrapped around Likanās tiny fingers. Even more laid-back as a grandfather than he ever was as a father, he spent mornings showing Likan carved wooden animals he made just for him, while Eylan proudly helped paint them in bright sea-colored hues. āTwo boys,ā heād say with a wide grin, tousling Eylanās hair while Likan cooed in his lap. āYou and Neteyam are in for it now.ā But the pride was clear in his voice, and so was the joy.
Kiri, as always, was a natural. She carried Likan around on her hip with flowers braided in his hair, telling him long stories of Eywa and forest spirits. Likan loved the sound of her voice and often fell asleep curled against her chest as she whispered the tales of Home Tree. Tukāwho had long since appointed herself big cousin of the yearātook her role seriously. She made matching seashell necklaces for both Eylan and Likan, always watching over the youngest with gentle care. The first time Likan said āTukā in his tiny voice, she cried and wouldnāt let go of him all afternoon.
Even Loāak, ever the wild one, became surprisingly soft when it came to Likan. He would let the baby climb all over him, even yank on his braids, never once complaining. He carried Likan on his shoulders through the shallows, pretending to be a tulkun, while Eylan rode proudly on Neteyamās back beside them. āYouāre just lucky you look like your mama,ā Loāak teased once, pinching Likanās cheek. āThatās why I let you drool on me.ā
And NeteyamāEywa, Neteyam. The way he looked at his sons was enough to melt your heart every time. He was a father so deeply in love with his family that every look, every laugh, every moment spent cuddled between the boys and you in the hammock, told its own story of devotion. With Likan sleeping on his chest and Eylan curled at his side.
Now at two years old, Likan was a constant companion to Eylan ā always trailing behind him, squealing as he tried to mimic everything his big brother did. Neteyam was utterly taken with them both. He carved toys from driftwood, told them stories under the stars, and swam with Likan cradled on his back while Eylan darted circles around them. You watched often from the shore, your heart full beyond words. And though the forest still called to you sometimes in dreams⦠the sea answered back with peace. This was your home now. Your family. Your love.
A few months later you were sitting in the sand with Neteyam, just past the tree line where the sea met the forest, your legs stretched in front of you, your back against his warm chest. His arms were wrapped securely around you, one hand gently tracing the growing curve of your belly ā not yet obvious to others, but known, deeply felt.
āYouāre sure?ā he whispered softly into your ear, his breath warm, his voice reverent. You smiled, fingers threading through his. āIām sure,ā you murmured. āI wanted to wait to tell you until I was certain. Youāre going to be a father again.ā
Neteyamās breath caught. He froze, just for a second, then exhaled a shaky laugh of disbelief, joy breaking across his features like sunlight. He kissed your cheek, your temple, your jaw, your shoulder ā then rested his forehead against yours. āThree,ā he whispered. āWeāre going to have three.ā
You both waited until that evening to tell the family. The Sully kelku was alive with laughter and light. Tuk was trying to balance Likan on her back like a paāli, and Eylan was using a shell to make āsoupā out of seawater and sand. Loāak and Kiri arguing about minuscule things making Tsireya laugh. Jake and Neytiri sat by the fire, smiling at the chaos around them. When you took Neteyamās hand and stood, all eyes turned.
āWe have something to share,ā Neteyam said, his voice gentle but steady. You couldnāt stop smiling as he placed a proud hand over your belly. āWeāre expecting again.ā
Gasps echoed. Tuk squealed, running to throw her arms around your waist. Neytiri rose quickly, mist in her eyes as she cupped your cheeks, her joy immediate. āEywa has blessed us,ā she whispered. Jake let out a whoop and clapped Neteyam hard on the back. Loāak tackled him in congratulations, and Kiri and Tsireya wrapped you both in a long, warm hug.
Even Ronal and Tonowari sent over gifts the next day ā strands of woven pearls for you, a carved bone teether for the baby, a set of tiny sea-colored wraps. The whole village celebrated. For a while, everything was peace and laughter and hope. Until the demon ship came.
It was fast ā the sky people returning in brutal force. The hunting party never returned. Roa, Ronalās spirit sister, was slaughtered along with her calf. The waves turned red. The village turned silent. Jake called for the warriors to move ā and Neteyam turned to you, gripping your arms tightly.
āStay,ā he whispered, his voice low but firm. āStay here. Watch the boys. Donāt leave the kelku, no matter what. Iāll come back. I promise.ā Your heart twisted, but you nodded. You kissed him once, then again, pressing your forehead to his. āCome back to me,ā you whispered.
Hours later, too many hours in your opinion passed, the sky and see had matching shades of orange when Kiri came stumbling in, ācome, come, he is hurt.ā She stuttered out and you didnāt need another word picking yourself up and running to the healer's mauri. Kiri close behind with Likan in her hip and Eylan clutching her hand.
The healerās mauri was already crowded by the time you ran through the reef village. She hadnāt said much after those wordājust āNeteyamā and āshotāāand that alone had been enough to steal your breath, to send your thoughts into a panicked spiral. You didnāt even stop to ask if he was alive. You couldnāt. You didnāt want to hear anything but āyes.ā
Your chest was tight, your throat aching with the pressure of a scream that hadnāt yet found air. Kiriās footsteps splashed behind you through shallow tidepools, your two sons in her arms and at her heels. You didnāt dare turn around. You were focused on one thing.
When you reached the healerās mauri, you pushed aside the flap without hesitationāand froze. He was there. Laid out on a woven mat, bloodied and still. The wail that tore out of you was immediate, raw and unrestrained. āNeteyam!ā
Jake was already kneeling beside his son, hands stained red, whispering soft prayers to Eywa. Neytiri sat with her forehead pressed against Neteyamās hand, tears streaking her face. Loāak stood rigid in the corner, jaw clenched so tight it looked like he might crack his own teeth. Tuk, curled in Neytiriās lap, was wide-eyed and quiet, too young to understand all of it but old enough to feel the fear. When you stumbled in, the room shifted instantly.
You fell to your knees beside Neteyam, grabbing his hand, sobbing so violently it was hard to breathe. āPleaseāNeteyam, wake up. Wake up! Please!ā
Jake reached for your shoulder, trying to steady you, but you pulled away, your entire body curling over Neteyamās as if your love alone could protect him from whatever force had done this. āMama?ā Eylanās little voice broke behind you. You turned around sharply, wild-eyed, as Kiri entered, holding Likan on her hip and Eylanās hand. The boys stopped short at the sight of their father.
āMama, whatās wrong with sempu?ā Eylan asked, clutching Kiriās leg, voice quivering. āWhy is he all red?ā Your breath hitched. Likan looked around, confused and teary. āIs Daddy sleeping?ā You pressed your hands to your mouth, eyes wide and brimming with tears. You tried to speak, but nothing came outāonly broken sobs.
Kiri gently passed Likan to Neytiri, who cradled him and Tuk together, her arms trembling. Jake picked Eylan up and sat down beside you on the mat, placing the boy in your lap and anchoring your shaking hands around him.
āBreathe, sweetheart,ā he said, firmly but gently. āI know. I know itās hard. But heās alive. Heās fighting. Look at him.ā
You barely heard him. Your eyes were locked on Neteyamās face, unmoving, pale save for the angry red of dried blood. Eylan looked up at you, his tiny hand pressing to your cheek. āWhy are you crying?ā he asked, sniffling. āIs Daddy gonna go to Eywa?ā
āNo!ā you gasped out, shaking your head too fast. āNo, no, babyāheāheās notāheās notāā You couldnāt even finish. You broke again, hugging Eylan to your chest, your other hand reaching toward Neteyam even as your entire body shook.
Neytiri passed Likan to Loāak, who gently bounced him as he stood, whispering, āItās okay, little guy, Daddyās gonna be okay.ā But you could see his jaw trembling too, the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard. Neytiri came to you, kneeling beside you and pulling you into her arms, guiding your head to her shoulder while you sobbed.
āYou are not alone,ā she whispered, voice thick with emotion. āYou donāt carry this alone.ā Kiri had tears on her face too, but she wiped them away as she pressed a damp cloth to Neteyamās brow. āWe got to him in time,ā she said quietly, mostly for your sake. āTsireya stopped the bleeding. He just needs rest. Healing.ā
Jake was silent for a long moment; his eyes locked on his eldest son. Then he reached over, brushing Eylanās curls out of his eyes, and said, āYour dadās the strongest person I know, kiddo. Heāll wake up. Youāll see.ā
You just cried harder, holding your boy as if they were the only thing keeping you tethered to the ground. And all the while, Neteyam lay still, his hand warm in yours. A breath of lifeābut only barely.
You clutched Eylan to your chest, holding him so tightly he whimpered, confused, but not resisting. His round eyes flicked between you and his fatherās unmoving body. His little fingers fisted in your hair as your cries beganāraw, broken, guttural. You were saying his name over and over, as if it alone could tether his soul back to you. āNeteyam⦠please⦠pleaseā¦ā
You barely noticed Loāak nearby, now crouched low, arms full of Likan who writhed and whimpered and cried against his uncleās chest. The toddler was panicking, struggling to reach for you, reaching out with one hand while he clung to Loāak with the other. His small voice was cracked from crying, his face wet with tears, overwhelmed by the sight of both his parents falling apart in front of him. You didnāt notice Kiri until she was right beside you. She didnāt speak.
She simply knelt, calm and sure, and slid her arms under Eylanās small body. He resisted only briefly, but the tears on your face, the shaking of your shoulders, it frightened him. He let go of your neck and went into Kiriās hold, his lower lip trembling as she stood and turned away, taking him to the edge of the mauri.
Only when his weight left your arms did you suddenly feel how hollow they were. You turned back to Neteyam, grabbing at his hand, kissing it, whispering to him as tears continued to pour from your chin to his bare chest. Your trembling fingers brushed his braids back from his sweat-damp face, desperate for anything, any signāany flicker.
Likan was screaming nowāsoft, broken screams of confusion and fear. Neytiri appeared behind Loāak, arms open, and Loāak handed his little nephew off gently. Likanās tiny fists pounded at her shoulder, face pressed to her neck as she rocked him, whispering softly, shielding him from the sight of his father.
The mauri entrance stirred Ronal entered first, sharp-eyed and focused, followed closely by Tsireya and two other healers. Their arms were full of salves, herbs, warm cloth. The moment they entered, the air changed urgency replacing fear. āYou must move,ā Ronal said, not cruelly, but firm.
āNo,ā you gasped, clutching Neteyamās arm, burying your face in his shoulder. āNo, I canātāhe needs meāI need to stayāā
āHe will not survive if we cannot reach him,ā she said, already setting her things beside him. Tsireya crossed to the other side and knelt. Her voice was softer, coaxing. āPlease. Let us help him. Youāve done all you can.ā
You didnāt hear yourself sob. You didnāt feel your body convulsing with every breath. But the arms that pulled you back were familiarāJakeās. You resisted at first, claws curling into the woven mat. āNoāno, pleaseāI canātāplease, noāā
Neytiri approached, still rocking Likan, who was hiccuping against her shoulder, his little voice warbling with the last of his strength. She kissed his head and crouched beside you. āLet them save him, maāite. You must let go for now.ā
āNo, no no no I canāt,ā you whispered through choked sobs. Jake pulled you back slowly, and you crumbled into him, your face buried in his chest as your hands reached blindly for your mate.
Kiri was nearby, holding Eylan close, whispering softly. Loāak paced beside her, running his fingers through his hair, glancing back constantly at Neteyam. Tuk stood just behind her mother, silent, holding her own tears in a tight, trembling grip. And there, in that mauri, with your heart breaking open and your sons crying for comfort you couldnāt give, you watched as the only person who could soothe your storm lay still unmoving while the healers began their quiet, desperate work. The moment the flap of the healerās mauri closed behind you; it felt like the world fell silentāthen exploded into anguish.
You dropped to the sand as if your legs no longer knew how to hold you. Jake had carried you out, his hands firm but careful, his jaw clenched with grief. He tried to speak, but you had already broken into pieces in his arms, and there were no words that could hold your weight now. Gently, he set you down and immediately turned back for Tuk, who had come stumbling out moments after, her face a pale mask of confusion.
She didnāt speak. Didnāt cry. Her wide eyes just watched her family unravel. Jake bent down, scooped her into his arms, and held her like she was the last solid thing in his life. He kissed her forehead again and again as she clung to him, asking over and over, āIs going to Neteyam okay daddy?ā Jake had no answers.
You knelt just beyond the entrance, in the pale sand outside the mauri, your body trembling uncontrollably. The sobs that escaped you were unhingedāraw, cracking your chest open in a way that made Loāak look away, jaw tight, his own eyes shining. You gasped like you couldnāt find the air. Like breathing itself betrayed you. You clutched your stomachāyour growing bellyāand cried out his name.
āNeteyam! Neteyam! Pleaseāplease! Wake up! I canātāhe canātāā The words never finished. Your throat closed around them.
Loāak was the one who caught you this time, sliding to his knees and pulling you into him. You fought him at firstāyour hands pushing against his chest, trembling with the desire to get back inside, to feel Neteyamās warmth, to stop this nightmare. But Loāak held you, arms locked tight around you like a brace, grounding you when the world kept spinning. You crumpled into him, shaking violently, your sobs muffled in his chest. āHeās cold, Loāak. He was so cold. He lookedāhe lookedāgone.ā
Loāak couldnāt speak for a moment. His throat was thick, lips trembling. He closed his eyes, pressing his cheek against the crown of your head. His voice was hoarse when he finally said, āBut heās not. Heās not gone. Heās alive. Tsireya stopped the bleeding. Ronalās working on him now. Heās gonna pull through. He has to.ā Your arms clung to him like a lifeline. āI need him⦠I need himā¦ā
āI know,ā he whispered. āWe all do.ā Nearby, Kiri sat cross-legged in the sand, Eylan tucked into her lap. The little boy was crying silently now, exhausted, tears streaking his cheeks as he leaned into her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair, whispering soft reassurances even as her own face was stiff with fear. She kept glancing toward the mauri, her heart clearly still with her brother.
Likan was still in Neytiriās arms, wailing louder nowānot because of Neteyamās absence, but because he could feel the pain in his family, see the desperation in your cries. āMama! Mamaaaa!ā he hiccuped into his grandmotherās neck, reaching his arms toward you, but Neytiri gently rocked him and whispered, āShh, little one. Let her breathe. Sheās just scared. She loves you. She loves your sempu.ā
Jake, holding Tuk close, had crouched in the sand a short distance away. His face was stone, but his eyesāred and glossyābetrayed the cracks inside. He held Tukās small head against his shoulder as she finally started crying, her confusion becoming real fear. āWhy is she screaming?ā she asked. āWhy canāt we go help?ā
āSheās scared,ā Jake said softly. āAnd weāre just waiting now. Giving Neteyam time to be okay.ā
Kiri gently leaned her head down, pressing her forehead to Eylanās. āYour daddyās strong, ma āitan,ā she murmured. āHeās going to be okay. But you need to be brave too, alright? Your mama needs you to be brave.ā
You didnāt hear any of it. You couldnāt. Everything was a blur. A tunnel of soundāyour heart pounding, your sobs relentless, your baby squirming in your belly as if they, too, could feel your terror. Loāak held you as your cries lost their sound and became breathless heaves, his own hands trembling as he wiped the tears from your cheeks.
āYou canāt fall apart,ā he said, but the words werenāt harsh. They were trembling. āNot yet. Not when heās still fighting in there. You know Neteyam. Heād never leave you. He wouldnāt.ā
The world was muffled behind your tears. But your ears caught the soft, broken cries of your sons again, and your heart lurched. Your lungs burned as you forced yourself to look around.
Likan was still in Neytiriās arms, clinging tightly to her as fat tears rolled down his round cheeks. At two years old, he didnāt understand any of thisājust that something was terribly wrong. He let out a pitiful whimper, burying his face in her shoulder, sniffling and murmuring, āMama⦠mama, dada⦠where dada?ā
Eylan sat quietly now in Kiriās lap just a few steps away, tear tracks fresh on his cheeks, his little fingers curled in the fabric of her chest wrap as he looked between you and the mauri hut. His voice was quiet but clear. āWhy wonāt Daddy wake up?ā You broke. Again. But this time it was different. This time you didnāt fall into your griefāyou leaned into your sons.
Loāak gently released you as you dropped to your knees, arms open for Eylan. Kiri didnāt hesitate; she leaned down and let your boy shuffle into your arms. He clung to you instantly, curling against your chest, his little breaths shaky.
āIām here,ā you whispered, your voice hoarse. āIām right here, my love.ā
You felt movement behind youāNeytiri came forward and knelt beside you in the sand. Her arms eased Likan into yours, his soft, warm body curling against your other side. The moment your arms closed around him, he gave a wobbly cry and pushed his face into your neck, still trying to speak through his distress.
āDada hurt? Dada owie?ā
āNo, baby,ā you murmured, rocking them gently, tears still falling. āHeās going to be okay⦠Heās just sleeping. Just sleepingā¦ā And then, finally, the world slowed.
The sky darkened above you as the sun dipped lower, the air thick with salt and grief. You sat there, tucked beside the mauri, your sons pressed tightly to your chest, tears still running silently down your face. The rest of the family formed around you.
Jake sat just behind Neytiri, arms wrapped protectively around Tuk, who trembled in his lap but didnāt make a sound. She stared at the entrance of the healerās mauri like it might swallow her whole. Kiri curled next to you, brushing your hair back, her own eyes rimmed red but her touch soft, calming.
Loāak finally lowered himself to the sand beside you and sat in silence, head in his hands, his shoulders rising and falling with shallow breaths. One of his knees bumped against yoursāclose, supportive. He didnāt say anything more. No one did.
For a long time, the Sully family simply sat in a circle around you. Pressed together. Supporting each other in silence. Each face painted with pain and fear; each heart suspended between hope and horror. But together.
You clutched Eylan and Likan closer, your lips brushing their hair, whispering soft things that didnāt always make senseājust your voice, soothing, constant, loving. And in that quiet, broken moment, you remembered: you were still a family. Still together.
The night had long since fallen, the sky above painted with stars scattered like beads of light across deep ocean blue. The air was cool now, and the soft crash of waves against the reef was the only thing filling the silence outside the healerās mauri. The Sully family hadnāt moved far ā they couldnāt. Not with Neteyam still inside, still unconscious.
You were seated on the sand, legs folded, your arms wrapped tightly around both of your sons. Eylan was curled in your lap, his tiny fingers clutching the fabric of your chest wrap. Heād cried until his voice broke, then fallen asleep against you, lips still quivering in dreams. Likan, your littlest one, had cried himself hoarse in Loāakās arms. When your sobs had calmed just enough to take him back, Loāak wordlessly passed him over, holding the back of your hand for a moment as he did, grounding you without needing to speak.
Now, Likan lay tucked across your legs like a baby ilu, one hand curled in your songcord, the other clutching his fatherās discarded sash. His cheek was wet, pressed to your belly where his unborn sibling stirred gently in your womb ā safe, for now. His small chest rose and fell with heavy, exhausted breaths.
Loāak sat directly beside you now. He hadnāt left your side since youād been dragged from the mauri. His arm brushed yours, his shoulder nearly touching. Though he wasnāt saying much, the tension in his posture spoke volumes ā hunched slightly forward, fingers fidgeting over a seashell bracelet, jaw clenched like he was fighting every wave of panic. His eyes, normally so full of mischief and light, were dim. He kept glancing toward the mauri flap like if he blinked, something would change.
Jake sat not far off, his strong arms wrapped around a sleeping Tuk. She was curled tightly in his lap, her small face still damp with tears. Neytiri had one hand on your back, rubbing slowly, her presence like a warm fire in the cold. Kiri was nearby too, legs pulled close to her chest, her gaze occasionally drifting to you and the boys, then back to the healerās tent.
Tonowari stood quietly at a respectful distance, his wife having disappeared back inside some time ago. Aonung sat cross-legged just behind Loāak, giving space, but still clearly there ā watching his friend, his second brother, with the protectiveness of someone whoād become family too. No one spoke.
The stillness was heavy, the kind of silence born from fear and hope and bone-deep exhaustion. But Neteyam was alive. You repeated that over and over in your mind like a prayer, like a chant to keep your heart from tearing again. Neteyam is alive. He is breathing.
You tightened your arms around your boys. Loāakās hand reached over in the quiet and touched your shoulder, squeezing gently. You leaned into him for a moment ā both of you needing it more than youād ever say out loud.
The flap of the healerās mauri finally shifted. Everyoneās head snapped up, every breath caught. You clutched your sons tighter, both still asleep against your chest and belly, and Loāakās hand instinctively moved from your shoulder to your back, steadying you.
Ronal was the first to emerge. Her expression, always unreadable, was softer now ā solemn, but without panic. Her hands were streaked with drying blood up to the forearms, her chest rising in quiet, measured breaths. Tsireya followed a heartbeat later, her eyes already shining with unshed tears, but her mouth curled in a small, hopeful smile.
āHe lives,ā Ronal said gently, looking at the circle of broken hearts around her. Your breath hitched, and Neytiri gasped softly beside you. Jake let out a quiet, choked sound and pressed his lips to Tukās hair, hugging her closer in his arms.
Loāak slumped forward, burying his face in his hands with a trembling exhale. Your heart stuttered in your chest.
āHe is stable,ā Tsireya continued, stepping forward, her voice softer, for you. āThe wound was deep⦠but it missed anything vital. We have stitched it well and given him salves for pain. He is sleeping now ā deeply. He may not wake for some time⦠but his spirit is strong.ā
You couldnāt stop the tears. Silent, steady drops falling down your cheeks, soaking into Eylanās curls. āHeāll wake up?ā you asked, barely a whisper.
Ronal nodded. āYes. In time. But he must rest. His body must heal.ā Your arms tightened around your children. You nodded through your tears, leaning your head down to kiss both your sons on their brows. Neteyam wasnāt lost. Not this time. Not this battle.
Kiri let out a shuddering breath and leaned into Neytiriās side. Neytiri took her hand. Jake looked to the sky as if thanking Eywa herself.
Aonung stepped forward and crouched next to Loāak, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. āBrother will be alright,ā he said simply. Loāak just nodded, still pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes, silent tears slipping through.
Tonowari stepped forward at last, kneeling beside you. āYou are welcome to stay here, all of you,ā he said gently. āAs long as you need. You are not alone.ā
You looked up at him through your blurred vision and nodded gratefully. āThank you⦠thank youā¦ā Ronal placed a hand gently on your head ā a rare, maternal gesture from her. āSoon, you may see him. Not yet. But soon.ā You nodded again, your throat too tight for words, and pressed your cheek to Eylanās little shoulder.
After that night, the one that tore the sky open above you ā it was Neytiri who suggested moving Neteyam. She spoke quietly, like she might break if she raised her voice. āHe should be home,ā she said, eyes red-rimmed. āWith you. With his sons. Where he belongs.ā
And so, gently, the family helped you move him to your mauri ā the small sea-shelled home you and Neteyam built with woven love and endless laughter, now filled with echoing silence. Jake carried his sonās weight like a ghost, Kiri and Loāak flanking either side. You stayed close, one hand on Neteyamās chest, the other wrapped protectively around your swollen belly.
It wasnāt far from the Sully mauri. Close enough that no one ever knocked, and no one ever asked to enter. And so, your home became the heart of the family ā the place everyone gathered, watched, waited. Grieved. Nights were the hardest. The soft sounds of the ocean couldnāt mask the ache.
Eylan slept between you and Neteyam, fingers always curled in his fatherās braids. He would whisper, childlike and sure, āI think Daddy can still hear me. Right, Mama?ā And though your heart would squeeze in pain, you nodded. āYes, baby. He hears every word.ā
Little Likan, barely two, still too young to understand, would crawl across Neteyamās unmoving chest and giggle like nothing had changed. āDada sleepinā,ā he would murmur, laying his head down. āShhh, baby sleeping.ā Your heart cracked, over and over again.
One quiet afternoon, as you rubbed your aching belly and tried not to cry, Loāak sat beside you, legs crossed, elbows on knees. He watched Neteyam in silence for a while before saying, āYou know, he always said heād be the best dad. Like he wanted to prove something.ā
You glanced at your sleeping mate. āHe didnāt need to prove anything. He already was.ā
Loāak smiled sadly. āI think⦠I think he was afraid. Of becoming like Dad. Of being too hard. Too⦠heavy.ā
āHeās not,ā you whispered. āHeās light. Always was.ā
The Sully family never stayed away. Jake would come by early mornings to sit near Neteyamās mat, just watching him with a hard jaw and teary eyes. Neytiri often brought steaming bowls of herbal broths and helped brush Likanās hair from his eyes. Tuk curled against Neteyamās arm every chance she got, small voice rambling about whatever creature sheād found that day.
āHeās still warm,ā she said once, looking up at you with wide, hopeful eyes. āSo that means heās still in there.ā
āYes,ā you murmured, brushing her hair back. āHeās still with us.ā
Kiri came often too, singing over Neteyamās still body, lighting healing oils, and wrapping arms around you when your breath caught from the pressure of the growing baby inside you. Tsireya and Aoānung came by almost every day.
Tsireya would gently take Likan into her arms and hum soft Metkayina lullabies while you rested. āYou are being so strong for your boys,ā she said once, when your hands trembled too much to feed yourself.
Aoānung was quieter, surprisingly so. He didnāt speak much, but he would bring fish, or woven toys for the boys, or sit near the edge of the mauri, his gaze flickering to Neteyamās form with guilt and worry that never quite left his face. Once, you caught him whispering, āCome back, forest boy.ā
It was your little family that held the world together. Eylan curled beside Neteyam at night, whispering stories about jellyfish and fish chases with Uncle Loāak. āDaddy needs to hear what he missed,ā he would say matter-of-factly. Likan would climb onto your lap and ask, āBaby come soon?ā then lay his tiny hand on your belly and say, āTell Dada wake up. We waitinā.ā
And you would lean into Neteyamās chest, brushing your fingers over his jaw, whispering into the hollow of his throat, āYou have to come back, ma yawne. They need you. I need you.ā
Even though your world had cracked, you werenāt alone in the pieces.
Three moons had passed since the day your world cracked in two. Neteyam lay motionless on the center mat of your shared mauri, surrounded by silence and warmth and the weight of his familyās endless love. His chest still rose. His heart still beat. But his eyes⦠they never opened.
The boys had adapted, in a way only children could. Eylan had stopped asking when his father would wake. Instead, he stayed close, laying his tiny reed mat beside Neteyamās every night, whispering stories into his ear about fish heād seen, shells heād found, dreams heād had. āSo when he wakes up, he knows everything, Mama,ā heād explain.
Likan didnāt understand. Two years old and all big eyes and chubby fingers, he still climbed onto Neteyamās chest every morning and curled up, waiting for his fatherās arms to wrap around him. Sometimes he laughed, babbling in half-sentences. Sometimes he cried. You never stopped watching.
And your belly ā it was so round now. Eight months. You could feel every kick, every shift of the baby inside. Every night, you whispered to your unborn child as you stroked your mateās still face. āYour sempu is here. He just needs more time.ā
Norm and Max had come again that morning, quiet as always. They carried their strange, blinking human tools and moved around Neteyamās mat with practiced care. They checked the IV that fed his body fluids and nutrients, adjusted the monitor that tracked his vitals. āHeās still holding on,ā Norm said gently, not looking you in the eyeā
āI donāt need him to hold on,ā you muttered. āI need him to wake up.ā
Loāak stood near the entrance of the mauri, arms folded tight across his chest, jaw clenched. He hadnāt left your side in weeks. He helped with the boys, helped you up when your back ached too much to rise, helped keep you breathing when everything inside you begged to scream.
That night, Eylan climbed into your lap beside Neteyam. āMama,ā he whispered, stroking your arm, āwhen is sempu gonna talk to me again?ā You froze. Your hands tightened on his little back. āI miss daddy,ā Eylan continued. āI think Likan does too. He cries sometimes for daddy.ā You couldnāt hold it in. You turned your face away and let the sob break through. Eylan reached up, brushing away a tear. āDid I do something wrong?ā
āNo, baby. Eywa, no.ā You kissed his forehead, hugging him tight. āHe loves you more than anything. He just⦠heās sleeping very strong.ā
āLike when the fish go deep for the cold moons?ā
āExactly,ā you lied, smiling through the ache. āBut heāll come back.ā
Later that night, after the boys had fallen asleep ā Likan curled on Neteyamās chest, Eylan tucked under his arm ā you stepped outside. The stars shimmered over the ocean, and the sound of waves broke softly against the reef. You didnāt cry this time. You just breathed.
āIām scared,ā you whispered to the sky. āHeās missing everything. Every kick. Every day the boys grow. He hasnāt even heard this babyās heartbeat.ā
Loāak appeared behind you quietly. āI know.ā You turned to him, voice trembling. āWhat if I have this baby alone? What if he neverāā
āYou wonāt,ā he said, stepping forward. āWe wonāt let you be alone. I know Iām not him, but I swear⦠weāve got you. Iāve got you.ā You sank into him, tears finally returning. āI donāt want anyone else. I just want him.ā
āI know,ā Loāak whispered, pressing your head to his shoulder. āI want him to wake up too.ā
Ronal came the next day, her presence as quiet and firm as ever. She set a bowl of warm herbs beside Neteyamās mat and applied a paste along his temples. You watched as she murmured prayers and touched his chest.
āHe is tethered,ā she said finally, glancing at you. āYou are the cord that keeps him here. Keep speaking to him.ā You nodded, though your heart was so tired.
Tsireya came later, bringing new salve for your aching legs and sweet-smelling herbs for the boys. āWe havenāt given up,ā she said gently. āYou shouldnāt either.ā Even Aoānung came by more often now. He didnāt speak much, just brought fresh fish or sat with Loāak near the shore when he needed space.
And still, your stomach grew. Every movement of the baby inside you brought both awe and fear. Youād lie next to Neteyam at night, his arm draped lifeless across your middle, and whisper, āTheyāre almost here, ma tƬyawn. Please⦠please donāt miss this.ā
But the days kept passing, and one month later, the pain came like fireādeep, sharp, and wrong. It was still dark outside the mauri when it woke you, seizing your breath and curling your body forward instinctively. You gasped, a broken cry ripping from your throat as you clutched your swollen belly. You knew what it meant. āNoāno no no,ā you whispered, panic rising fast. āNot now. Please not now.ā
Your pain woke the boys, who both began to cry in their half-sleepāfrightened, confused by the sound of your agony. āMama? Mamaaa?ā
You couldnāt even answer. You barely registered the door flap flying open, Kiri and Neytiri rushing in. Kiri dropped to your side. āItās the baby,ā she breathed, feeling your stomach. āYouāre in labor.ā
āI wonāt do it,ā you gasped, trying to standāonly to collapse into Neytiriās arms, trembling. āI wonātāI canāt! Not without him!ā
āHe would want you to be strong,ā Neytiri said quickly, but her voice cracked. āYou have to be strongāplease, for the baby.ā
Tsireya and Ronal arrived next, gathering supplies and laying out a woven mat across the floor beside Neteyamās still form. You shrank away from them, clutching your belly like it might hold the pain back.
āYou need to lie down,ā Tsireya said softly.
āI said no!ā you cried. āIām not having this baby without him! He was supposed to be here! He was supposed to hold my handāhe promised!ā Ronal looked to Kiri, silently asking her to calm you, but before she could move, a voice cut through the panic.
āY/n Iām surprised at you I really am, thisā¦. this is not how I thought youād handle this.ā Loāak stood in the doorway. Pale. Tense. Eyes rimmed red from weeks of holding back every emotion that now pulsed right beneath his skin. Kiri opened her mouth, clearly ready to tell him to leave. āLoāak, maybe give her someāā
But he walked straight past her. He knelt down in front of you, gently brushing your damp hair back, speaking quietly so only you could hear. āI know youāre scared. You have every right to be. But you donāt get to quit right now.ā You shook your head, voice cracking. āYou donāt understandāā
āNo, I do,ā he said, cutting you off gently. āHe was supposed to be here. I know that. And this isnāt fair. None of this is fair. But youāre not alone.ā Your eyes welled up again, and you looked away.
Loāak leaned closer. āYouāre not doing this for just you. Youāre doing it for the baby. For Neteyam. For your little boys who still need their mama cause theyāre crying cause you're in pain. You donāt get to quit on them. You donāt get to quit on me.ā Your lower lip trembled as a contraction surged again, and you folded into it, screaming. āI know thereās a lot of things going on here we canāt control, but this, we can do this.ā He caught you as you slumped forward, gently guiding you down onto the mat Tsireya had prepared. The moment you hit the floor, the room shifted.
Kiri immediately began gathering towels and boiling water. Neytiri scooped the boys into her arms, quickly passing them to Jake who waited just outside to rock them even as tears streaked her own cheeks. Ronal positioned herself at your feet, checking how far along you were. Tsireya set her hands at your side, grounding you in soft whispers.
Loāak didnāt move from behind you, sitting cross-legged so your back could lean into him, just like Neteyam had done for your first two births. He took your hand in his. āIāve got you,ā he whispered into your ear. āJust breathe. Iām not going anywhere.ā
Another contraction came, and you screamed into his shoulder. He didnāt flinch. āI know it hurts,ā he said quietly, his voice cracking. āI know everything feels like itās falling apart, but this baby is yours and his and theyāre ready. You just have to help them get here.ā
āI donāt want to do it alone,ā you sobbed.
āYouāre not alone,ā he said, pressing your forehead to his. āLook at me.ā You opened your eyesābarely.
āIām here. Kiriās here. Momās here. Tsireya and Ronal are here. You are surrounded by people who love you. Weāre not letting go. You can do this.ā You let out a shuddering breath, nodding once. āOkay.ā
āThatās it,ā he whispered. āThatās all I need. When the next one comesāpush. Iāve got you. I swear.ā
The room shifted againācalm in the storm. Ronal nodded. āThe baby is crowning. You must push.ā You closed your eyes, tears falling fast, and squeezed Loāakās hand as the next contraction came. You pushed. Screamed. Cried. And Loāak held you through every second of it.
Your chest heaved, sweat glistening on your skin as your trembling arms cradled the impossibly small bundle against your chest. She was still cryingātiny and sharp and alive. And Loāak⦠Loāak was still behind you, arms braced on either side of you, steadying you like a living pillar. His chest pressed to your back, chin briefly lowering to your shoulder as he whispered, āYou did it.ā
You couldnāt answerānot yet. Your voice was trapped in your throat, and your heart was thundering too hard, but you nodded weakly, tears falling freely down your cheeks.
Tsireya leaned close, her smile wet with emotion. āShe is strong,ā she whispered. āJust like her saānok.ā
Ronal was quiet, checking your daughterās tiny fingers, murmuring something under her breath maybe a prayer, maybe thanks to Eywa. āIāll go tell them,ā Neytiri said softly, already turning toward the mauri flap. Her hand trailed along your shoulder as she passed. āThey are waiting.ā
You could feel Loāakās breath on the back of your neck. His voice was hoarse when he said, āShe looks like Neteyam.ā That broke something in your chest. You nodded, lips trembling. āI knowā¦ā
She was beautiful. She was warm and breathing and here. And yet⦠Neteyam still hadnāt moved. He hadnāt seen her. Not yet. You shifted slightly, and Loāak helped you ease backward, supporting you so that you were resting against his chest, your newborn daughter swaddled snugly in your arms. You hadnāt even realized you were still holding his hand until you felt his thumb gently stroke over your knuckles. Then the flap lifted again.
Jake entered first, quiet and slow, with a child in each arm. Tuk still clung to his side, sleepy and blinking, and beside her was your oldestāEylan, eyes wide with worry, searching.
āMamaā¦?ā he said softly.
Your breath caught. You sat up straighter. āEylan,ā you whispered. He ran forward before Jake could even say anything, reaching out toward you. You held out your free arm, and he climbed up next to you, careful but eager, immediately peeking down at the baby in your arms. āIs that the baby that was in your belly?ā
You nodded, voice soft and cracking. āYour sister, yeah.ā He gasped quietly. āSheās so smallā¦ā
āSheās perfect,ā you said.
Loāak shifted behind you, his hands never leaving your shoulders, still there like an anchor. Jake stepped closer, kneeling with Likan in his arms. āHe woke when he heard her cry,ā he said gently. Likan rubbed at his eyes with a little fist, clearly still tired, but the moment he spotted you and his brother, he reached out. āMamaā¦ā
You nodded, arms full, and Loāak moved for the first time, gently helping take Likan from Jake and nestling him beside you, right between you and Eylan. Both boys now tucked into your side, wide-eyed and curious. āLook,ā you murmured. āYour little sister.ā Likan blinked at her. āMama Babyā¦ā You nodded, kissing his forehead.
The flap to the mauri was still drawn open, and behind Jake came Neytiri and Kiri, the whole family drawn like a tide around you. They didnāt crowd. They didnāt speak loudly. But the space filled with warmthāblinking away the cold ache of the months of silence. Your daughter squirmed a little, letting out a tiny sneeze.
āOh,ā Eylan whispered with a giggle. āShe sneezed!ā
āSheās a strong girl,ā Jake said with pride, voice a little rough as he tucked a few braids behind your ear. āJust like her mama. Just like her brothers.ā
You looked to Loāak then. He caught your gaze, then leaned close enough to kiss the crown of your head. āYou did so good,ā he murmured. āNeteyam would be losing his mind right now.ā The lump in your throat swelled again.
āI wish he could see herā¦ā
āHe will,ā Kiri said gently, her voice from just beside the boys. āHeās still here. And when he wakes up, weāll tell him everything.ā
Loāak looked at you, his voice a low, sure thing. āWeāll tell him how brave you were. How beautiful she is. How she cried just like Likan and wriggled like Eylan when they were born.ā
āAnd how much we missed him,ā you whispered. Loāak nodded.
Tuk came forward then, kneeling beside the boys, and smiled at the baby in wonder. āSheās really hereā¦ā she whispered. āWhatās her name?ā
You paused, heart pounding. You hadnāt chosen it yet. Not without him. āI uhā I havenāt chosen one yet, Neteyam normally has finally say but this time weā¦I donāt know yet.ā I tell the family and Loāak squeezed my arms softly his fingers running up and down them. āItās okay, youāll name her when youāre ready.ā He whispered speaking for everyone.
The air in the mauri is thick with warmth, sweat, blood, and silence. Somewhere just outside, Neytiri hums to Likan, rocking him slowly. Kiri is tending to your newborn, her steps soft. Tsireya is quiet, watching the Eylan sleep, giving you space.
Itās just you and Loāak now. The curtain drawn. A bowl of warm water beside him, and you, aching and barely awake, lying half-curled under a blanket, eyes glazed with exhaustion. You donāt even flinch when you feel the cloth on your thigh. His touch is gentle, almost too gentle like heās afraid of you breaking.
āā¦Loāak?ā your voice cracks. He doesnāt look at you. āItās okay. Iāve got it.ā
The cloth moves carefully over your skin, down the inside of your thigh where the blood dried hours ago. Normally, this moment is sacred, Neteyamās hands, not Loāakās. Always Neteyamās. After every birth, every hard night, every wound. It was Neteyam who bathed you, held you, kissed your shoulders in the firelight. Only him.
This feels too close. Too much. Your voice trembles. āYou donāt⦠have to do this.ā
āI know.ā
āIs it weird?ā You swallow. āYou can ask someone elseāā
āI know,ā he cuts in, gently. Finally, his eyes meet yours. And the look in them ā it undoes you. Itās not pity. Itās not lust. Itās something else. Raw, reverent. Careful. Fractured.
āIt is weird,ā he admits, voice low. āBut not because I donāt want to help you.ā He dips the cloth again, wrings it slowly. āItās weird because this isnāt mine. This moment. This part of you. Itās his.ā Your breath catches. He lowers his eyes, begins wiping you again ā the inside of your knees, the curve of your hip. Nothing improper. But your skin burns under his touch.
āI used to wonder what it felt like,ā he murmurs suddenly, ābeing needed like that. The way you always looked at him after the births. Like he was the only person who knew where you ended and started again.ā
You say nothing. You canāt. His next words are barely audible. āNow I know. And I wish I didnāt.ā The silence hangs so heavy it could break. āIām sorry,ā you whisper, tears slipping sideways into your hair.
āIām not,ā he says softly. Then after a beat, a shaky breath escapes him, and he tries to smile ā the kind that barely holds. āā¦Though I gotta say,ā he adds gently, āI never pictured the first time Iād see you naked would involve this much blood and crying.ā You laugh ā a strangled, wet sound. āLoāakā!ā
He grins, but itās quiet. Tired. Tender. āHey. I made you laugh. That counts for something.ā The cloth slips back into the bowl. He covers you gently, then sits there beside you, elbows on his knees, staring at nothing.
You watch him through half-lidded eyes. It should not feel this way. He should not have seen this much of you. Should not have touched your skin. Should not have looked at you like that. But he did. And you let him. And in the soft dark, with your mate still unconscious and your body raw from birth, you realize⦠Youāre not sure where the line is anymore.
At first, itās still about the kids. Loāak carrying Eylan when the boy is too sleepy to walk, playing with Likan in the dirt while you rest with the baby sleeping on your chest. He never complains. Never acts like itās too much. But the way he watches you begins to change ā it becomes quieter. Heās more careful. Always aware. He doesnāt hover. But he notices everything.
When your arms start to tremble from holding the baby too long, heās already there before you ask. He doesnāt make a scene ā he just crouches beside you and gently takes her from you, cradling her like sheās his own blood, offering that crooked half-smile youāve seen a thousand times before. Except now it feels different.
When you try to eat, one hand balancing your daughter and the other too sore to lift much of anything, he kneels next to you. No teasing, no fuss. He just takes the food and feeds you with quiet patience, like itās normal, like youāve always done this dance. Thereās a rhythm forming between you that neither of you meant to create.
āYou either eat this,ā he says once, āor I eat it and tell everyone you starve me.ā You roll your eyes. But you open your mouth. The next time, you lean forward before he even lifts the bite. The first time it goes too far is at the river. You sit on the edge of the rocks, staring at the water, your body aching and raw, and no one else is free. You donāt even say anything. You donāt need to.
āIāll help,ā Loāak says, not looking at you. āJust the shallow edge. You donāt have to move much. Iāll look away.ā And he does. Always.
But his hands are gentle when they brush your back. His silence is heavy. And when he hands you the cloth and cups the water for you, your hands touch ā just for a moment ā and your breath catches, and neither of you mention it.
He still returns to Tsireyaās arms every night. He kisses her when she brings herbs to help with your healing. He rests his head on her lap while she hums over his braids. He holds her hand when they walk together, when they sit by the fire, when she laughs too loud and he smiles just watching her. He is still her perfect partner.
But something in him has gone quiet. Especially when itās just the two of you. He stays a little longer than he should. Touches your shoulder more than is necessary. His eyes linger when they shouldnāt. He steps into Neteyamās absence like he was born into it, without ever being asked.
And Tsireya notices. Not everything. Not enough to accuse. But enough to pause. One evening, she watches from across the marui as Loāak gently lifts the baby from your lap, tucks the blanket higher on your legs, and smooths your hair away from your face. His fingers hesitate there, just for a moment, brushing your skin like it means something. Like it hurts to let go. She doesnāt say anything. Not yet.
You try not to rely on him. You hate how easy itās become ā how when you need something, when you so much as look tired, Loāak is already there. You try not to look for him, not to listen for his voice, but you do. And you catch yourself waiting for him, for the sound of his feet in the sand.
You hate the heat in your chest when he speaks your name gently. The soft way he says, āEat. You need your strength.ā You hate that sometimes ā just sometimes ā you wish it wasnāt just kindness. That it meant something more. Because itās Loāak. Because you love Neteyam. Because youāre still his. Because you shouldnāt feel this.
But you lean your head against his shoulder one quiet afternoon while your boys laugh nearby. And he doesnāt move. He just lets you stay there, still and warm and silent. His fingers brush your wrist ā the barest touch ā like it anchors him. Or maybe anchors you. Neither of you speak. But something has shifted. Quietly. Unmistakably. And itās getting harder to ignore.
The babyās asleep again, her soft, steady breaths rising against Neteyamās bare chest. Youāve bundled her there every night now ā itās the only place she seems to settle. Her little hand rests right over the bullet scar. Your fingers twitch every time you look at it.
You sit beside them; knees pulled to your chest. The lantern burns low, casting long shadows across the woven floor. The boys are asleep near the doorway, Likan curled against Eylanās back like a fern folding in the night.
You donāt expect Loāak. Not this late. But the flap rustles, soft and careful, and he steps in ā quiet, like he doesnāt want to wake anyone. His hairās damp. He smells like the sea. He sees you and stops. āI thought youād be asleep.ā You give a tired shrug. āCanāt.ā His eyes flick toward the baby on Neteyamās chest. āSheās there again.ā
āEvery night.ā You feel the breath leave your chest, sharp and bitter. Loāak crosses the marui, lowers himself to sit beside you. You donāt look at him. āTsireya okay?ā you ask, voice low.
āYeah. Sheās⦠sheās good.ā
āDid she want you to stay?ā A pause. āYeah.ā
āThen why are you here?ā He doesnāt answer right away. Instead, he leans forward, elbows on his knees, staring at the fire.
āI just wanted to check on you.ā
āIām fine.ā
āYou always say that when youāre not.ā
You glance at him. āAnd what if Iām not?ā He meets your eyes, steady and too soft. āThen I stay.ā
You donāt say anything. Not for a long moment. The only sounds are the babyās tiny sighs, the breath of the wind outside, the creak of the marui walls. You shift, hugging your knees tighter.
āI miss him,ā you whisper. āEven though heās right there. I miss him like heās alreadyāā Loāak turns quickly, hand reaching for yours. He grips it tight, grounding you.
āDonāt,ā he says. āDonāt say it.ā You look down at your joined hands.
āIām so tired, Loāak,ā you breathe. āOf being strong. Of pretending I donāt need help.ā
āYou donāt have to pretend with me.ā
You exhale a shaky laugh. āYouāre not supposed to be the one holding me together.ā
āMaybe I want to.ā His voice is lower now. Thereās something in it that curls under your skin ā a crack you shouldnāt notice, but you do. You turn your head. Heās looking at you. Really looking. The firelight flickers over his face, the high cheekbones, the small scar near his jaw, the dark, aching eyes.
Your voice comes out quiet. āThis feelsā¦ā He doesnāt let you finish.
āI know.ā
He shifts closer, slowly, like heās not sure if he should. His fingers brush your cheek, just once. You donāt stop him. He leans in, just enough that his forehead grazes yours. Just enough to steal your breath.
āIf I kiss you right now,ā he murmurs, āwill you hate me for it?ā
Your heart stops. You donāt answer. And he doesnāt move. You sit like that ā too close, too quiet ā with your foreheads barely touching, your breaths syncing, your hands still joined.
āI still love him,ā you whisper. Itās barely audible.
āI know,ā he says again. āI wouldnāt ask you not to.ā
Then the baby shifts. A small sound. A flutter of fingers against Neteyamās chest. You both freeze. And just like that, the moment shatters. You pull back slowly, blinking fast, like coming up for air. Loāak leans away, breaking contact, hand sliding from yours. He looks wrecked. Like heās been caught in something he didnāt mean to start.
āI should go,ā he says.
You nod. āYeah.ā
But neither of you moves. Your hands are still touching. Just your fingers. Barely. And the silence between you tightens, not like tension, but like grief. Like hunger. Like everything youāve tried not to feel has risen to the surface and is begging to be touched.
He looks at you. You look back. He leans in. And this time, you donāt look away. Your breath catches, but your body doesnāt flinch. His hand brushes your cheek again, fingers trailing behind your ear, so soft it almost doesnāt register. Almost.
āLoāak,ā you whisper. Just his name. Nothing more. But it cracks.
And he breaks. He kisses you. Slow. Gentle. Terrified. Heās not rushing. Heās not devouring. Heās aching. His lips press to yours like heās asking for permission he already knows he shouldnāt need. Like he knows itās wrong ā but more than that, he knows itās too late.
And still⦠you kiss him back. Only for a second. Maybe two. Itās not passionate. Not carnal. Itās not even romantic. Itās just grief. Muted and drowning. A moment where you arenāt the woman holding everything together. Youāre not Neteyamās mate. Youāre not a mother. Youāre just you.
And Loāak is the only one who sees that. When he pulls back, he stays close ā forehead against yours, breath ragged. āShit,ā he whispers, eyes shut. āIām sorry.ā You say nothing. Because youāre not. Not yet. Your chest is rising too fast. Your hand is still on his wrist. You can feel his pulse beneath your thumb.
āI didnāt meanāā he starts. āYes, you did,ā you say. Not angry. Not hurt. Just⦠honest. And it shatters him. He nods. āI know.ā
Then a soft sound breaks the air ā not from the baby, not from the boys. From Neteyam. A shift. A breath. You both turn. He hasnāt moved. Still and unchanged. But the guilt crashes into you anyway. Heavy. Sharp. You pull back completely, hands to your lap, your chest squeezing like itās too full to breathe. Loāak stands up slowly. āI shouldnāt haveāā You cut him off, eyes still on Neteyam. āItās okay..ā you whisper. āBut I think you should go.ā
He hesitates. Just a second. Then he leaves. And you sit alone in the half-light, your baby sleeping on her fatherās chest, your heart pounding from another manās lips. You donāt cry. You donāt panic. You just stare, swallowing the weight of it ā knowing that something has changed. Knowing that if Neteyam wakes up tomorrow, if he looks at you the way he used to, you will never be able to tell him. But youāll feel it.
The next morning, Neytiri was brushing your baby girlās tiny curls back from her forehead, humming softly, when you approached. āCan you take them to Ronal for their checkups?ā you asked quietly, trying not to wake your daughter. āShe wants to see them today.ā
Neytiri turned, giving you a look that read deeper than words. āAre you all right?ā You hesitated. āI just⦠need a moment.ā
She nodded, collecting the baby in one arm and calling softly to Eylan and Likan. Your boys rushed over, Likan clinging to your leg briefly, then letting go when Neytiri took his hand.
You kissed each of them, your heart squeezing tight as Likan babbled a sleepy, āMama be back? āSoon,ā you promised. āI love you.ā
With Neytiri leading them off toward the reef healerās marui, you turned away. But your heart stayed behind.
Loāak was exactly where you expected ā perched alone where the reef cliffs met the sea, his feet dangling above the water, arms resting on his knees. The wind pushed through his hair, the waves whispering beneath. You approached quietly and sat beside him, not too close. He glanced sideways. āDidnāt think youād come.ā
āI had to.ā He looked back out at the ocean. āI didnāt sleep. Couldnāt.ā You nodded. āMe neither.ā A pause stretched out. You could feel the weight between you ā not heavy with love, not sweet with longing. Just guilt. Raw and too recent.
āWhat we didā¦ā he said slowly, āI keep trying to explain it to myself. I know it wasnāt about love. Wasnāt even about wanting each other like that.ā You watched the horizon. āWe were just too tired. Too empty. We found each other in that space.ā
āI still hate that it happened.ā You swallowed. āMe too.ā A moment passed. Then, quietly: āBut I donāt hate you for it.ā He looked over. āI donāt hate you either.ā The wind picked up, salt brushing your skin. āI donāt want to pretend it didnāt happen,ā you whispered. āBut I donāt want it to happen again.ā His eyes fell to the ground. āIt wonāt.ā
āGood,ā you breathed. āBecause I canāt lose him. And I still feel like Iām losing myself.ā Loāakās hand reached out, fingers brushing yours gently.
Not holding. Just⦠acknowledging. āWeāll be okay,ā he said. āEventually.ā Just then ā a scream carried across the reef. āGET HERāGET HER NOWāHEāS AWAKEā!ā
You both bolted upright. Kiriās voice. Your heart slammed into your ribs. āNeteyam?!ā you breathed. And then Loāak grabbed your hand without thinking, and the two of you ran. By the time you reached the mauri, the entire reef was there. Ronal. Tsireya. Aoānung. Neytiri with the baby held protectively in her arms, boys pressed into her sides. Jake knelt by the mat.
Neteyam was sitting up. Blinking. Awake. Loāak skidded to a halt beside you, breath ragged. Your legs wouldnāt move ā not at first. Kiri turned to you, eyes wild with tears. āHe opened his eyes. He said somethingāhe looked around, butāā You pushed through them all, falling to your knees at his side.
Neteyam looked at you, face pale, chest rising with effort. His gaze slid over you, confused but calm. You smiled through the tears. āHi. Hey. Iām here.ā
He blinked again. āAre you⦠the healer?ā The words hit like ice water. Your breath caught. āWhat?ā Jake turned sharply. Neytiriās lips parted. Neteyam looked around slowly. āI⦠where am I? What happened?ā
You didnāt feel your legs give out, but suddenly you were leaning forward, gripping the edge of the mat. āIāmāā your voice cracked. āIām your mate. Your wife.ā
He stared at you like you were speaking another language. Neytiri stepped forward, voice soft and shaking, āitan⦠Neteyam⦠this is your wife. Your children are here. You are safe.ā
Neteyamās brows furrowed. āWife?ā He looked at your baby in her arms. At Eylan and Likan ā their golden eyes wide and scared. His eyes were blank. Tsireya stepped back, hand over her mouth. Loāak stood frozen beside you, his face twisted in disbelief, grief washing over him in a silent wave.
Neteyamās gaze landed on him last. āLoāak,ā he murmured. āI⦠I know you.ā But even that seemed uncertain. Loāak stepped closer. āYeah, bro. Itās me. Iām right here.ā Neteyam squinted, nodding slightly. āYou look⦠older.ā And then he looked at you again. Eyes searching. Still not recognizing.
āIām sorry,ā he whispered. āI donāt know who you are.ā You didnāt break down. Not yet. But your hand slipped from the mat. And Loāak was the one who caught it.
The room seemed to hold its breath. Neytiri stepped forward again, her voice low and tender. āNeteyam,ā she said gently, kneeling beside you, āthis is [Name].ā You watched his eyes flick to her, then back to you. The name hung in the air. He blinked slowly, and something passed across his face. Not clarity ā but a glimmer.
ā[Name],ā he repeated, tasting it. āI know that name.ā Your heart jumped. You shifted, leaning in, desperate for more. āYes,ā you whispered. āYes, you do.ā He tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing as if trying to place a memory behind fogged glass.
āYou had long braids even at a five-year-old,ā he murmured, more to himself than anyone. āYou followed me everywhere. You made me that ugly stone necklace and cried when I said it stankā A soft laugh caught in your throat, half-sob. He looked up again, blinking hard. āThat was when we were⦠kids. Thatās all I remember.ā
Jake exhaled quietly through his nose. Kiri covered her mouth, face crumpling. You reached for his hand, but he shifted just slightly ā not in rejection, but in confusion. He stared at your touch like it was unfamiliar. āI donāt understand,ā he said again, voice cracking. āWhy is everyone crying? Why do I feel like Iām⦠missing something? A lot of somethings?ā He turned his gaze slowly toward Jake. āHow long was I out?ā
Jake hesitated. āMonths,ā Neytiri said softly, before her husband could answer. āYou were shot. You almostāā She cut off. Her eyes burned. Neteyam looked down at his chest then, slowly lifting his fingers to touch the healed but angry scarring beneath the cloth. His breathing hitched.
His head snapped back up. āMonths?ā He looked around wildly now ā at the baby, at the boys pressed into Neytiriās side, at the reef around him he didnāt recognize. His fingers curled tightly into the bedding. āIāI donāt remember this place,ā he stammered. āI donāt remember being here. Why are we not in the forest?ā
āTheā¦the sky people returned we came here because they were hunting us,ā Jake said gently. āWe allā¦live here now. Me, your mom, siblings and your wife and kids. This is our home now.ā
āI donāt understand,ā he said, more panicked now. āWhy does everything feel wrong? Why do I know her name but not her voice? Notāā His voice cracked. āNot those kids?ā Eylan whimpered softly. Likan shrunk against Neytiriās side, clinging to her braid. The baby stirred in Neytiriās arms and let out a soft, fussy noise ā and Neteyam flinched at the sound. His eyes snapped to her. He stared.
āSheās⦠mine?ā he asked. āOurs?ā You nodded, your voice almost inaudible. āShe was born while you were still⦠still asleep, just a couple weeks ago.ā He dragged a hand down his face. āNo. No, this doesnāt make sense.ā
āNeteyamāā Kiri started, moving forward. āI donāt know her,ā he said louder, looking at the baby. āI donāt know them. How can they be mine?ā
Loāak tensed beside you. You could feel it in his grip. You turn to your boys who were shying away from their father saying he didnāt know them and your heart ached.
Neteyamās breaths were picking up, eyes darting. āWhy donāt I remember you?ā he asked again, his voice climbing toward panic. āIf youāre my mate, why donāt I feel it? Why does it feel like Iām seeing my own life from outside?ā
You leaned in, your hand still lightly on his, even though he wasnāt returning the touch. āBecause something happened,ā you said quietly. āAnd we donāt know why yet. But Iām here. And weāll figure it out.ā
He stared at you for a long time. Then whispered, āI feel like Iām drowning.ā You nodded, a tear falling as you brushed your thumb over his knuckles.
āSo am I.ā Neteyam didnāt pull away this time. He just looked at your hand on his, blinking back tears he didnāt quite understand.
And Loāak, still kneeling beside you, kept holding your other hand, jaw tight, not speaking a word. You sat frozen, still holding your breath, your hand gently resting on his.
Neteyamās gaze was on you ā no longer searching, just⦠overwhelmed. His eyes were wide. Distant. Then, slowly, carefully, he pulled his hand away. It was a soft motion. Not cruel. Not forceful. But deliberate. Your heart cracked again. He pressed his palms flat to the mat, his shoulders hunched slightly as if he were curling in on himself, trying to make sense of a world that was too loud, too big, and far too unfamiliar.
You swallowed hard and pulled your hand back, fingers trembling in your lap. Neytiriās face shifted, like something inside her folded in half. Loāakās arm brushed yours. Subtle. Silent. āIām sorry,ā Neteyam said again, still staring down. āIām not trying to hurt anyone. I justāā he shook his head, a quiet panic rising again in his voice. āIt doesnāt feel real. None of this feels real.ā
Jake stepped forward then, slow and calm, crouching near his son. āNeteyam, youāve been unconscious for a long time. Your body survived, but somethingās wrong with your memory. You donāt remember the reef. You donāt remember what happened. And thatās okay. Weāre gonna help you through it.ā Neteyam barely nodded. He still wasnāt looking at anyone. Only the floor. A small voice broke the stillness.
āNeteyam?ā Everyone turned. Tuk. She had slipped through the gathered crowd, her steps careful and quiet. Her big golden eyes glistened with tears as she crept toward the mat, holding something in her arms ā a small shell toy heād carved years ago.
She knelt near him and offered it up with a little smile. āYou made this for me when I was little. Do you remember?ā Neteyam looked up and froze. His brows furrowed hard, confusion blooming deep. His eyes roamed over her face, her frame, her tiny shaking hands. āIā¦ā he blinked. āI donāt know you.ā The silence snapped sharp. Tukās smile faltered. Her lip quivered, and she clutched the shell tighter to her chest.
āIām Tuk,ā she whispered. āIām your baby sister.ā Neteyamās face had gone pale again. āNo, Iāno. I have one sister. Kiri. Thatās all. You werenāt⦠there.ā You could feel Neytiriās body tense, just a breath away from crumbling. Tukās chin wobbled. āBut I was. You used to braid my hair. You used to carry me everywhere when I was smallāā
āI donāt remember,ā Neteyam said, voice cracking. āI donāt remember you. Iām sorry, I donātāā Tukās face fell, and the shell slipped from her fingers. Kiri was already moving, sweeping her into her arms and pulling her away as silent tears streamed down her cheeks. Tuk buried her face in Kiriās neck and sobbed. Neteyam shut his eyes tight, pressing his palms to his forehead. āIām sorry,ā he whispered again. āI donāt understand why everything hurts.ā Your own tears blurred your vision as you watched him ā not just lost but shattered inside his own mind.
Neteyamās breath hitched again. He stared at the place Tuk had stood, hands still braced on the mat, knuckles pale. He didnāt look at anyone now. He couldnāt. And then, like a dam breaking everything scattered. Jake stood swiftly. āI need to call Norm and Max,ā he said to no one and everyone, already stepping toward the sat phone near the far wall. āIf this is neurological, theyāll know what to look for.ā
Ronal moved forward without a word, her face set in that unreadable TsahƬk calm. She knelt beside Neteyam and placed her hands lightly over his head and chest, lips murmuring prayers too soft to catch. Tsireya and Aoānung stepped back to give her room, their hands linked tightly. Tsireya looked like she might cry. You didnāt move at first. You were still kneeling right where Neteyam had pulled away. Right where heād looked at you and not known who you were.
It hit you then, all of it. The months of keeping it together. Of surviving. Of healing. Of pretending you could carry all this weight alone. It caved in without warning. Your breath snagged. Your hands trembled. And then you stood, barely feeling your legs move, and backed away. Slow. Silent. Like if you just got far enough away, maybe it wouldnāt crush you.
You didnāt stop until you reached the far side of the mauri, your back pressing against the woven wall. But your eyes never left him. You kept watching. As if sheer will could force his memories back. āMama?ā The small voice broke you. Eylan was at your side, his little hand wrapping around yours, eyes wide with confusion. Likan toddled behind him, thumb in his mouth, clinging to your leg. You sank down, arms wrapping around both of them. And then Neytiri was there too.
She knelt on the floor beside you without a word and pulled you into her arms like she used to when you were young. When you scraped your knees or cried after fights with Neteyam. She knew her son needed her in this moment, but her daughter needed her more. You clung to her tightly, your face buried in her shoulder, trying not to sob.
āI donāt know what to do,ā you choked out, voice splintered. āI donāt know how to help him. I canāt lose him again. I canāt.ā She stroked your hair, arms strong around you. āYou havenāt lost him, maāite. Heās here. His heart still beats. You brought him back.ā
āBut he doesnāt know me,ā you said. āHe doesnāt remember⦠us.ā And just behind you, Loāak kneeled his hand brushed your shoulder, grounding you. āIām here too,ā he said quietly. āYou are not alone.ā You nodded, your eyes never leaving the figure across the room. Still staring at your mate. Your love. The father of your children. Still watching the way he looked around the mauri like he was on another planet.
The mat was still where it always was, yours and Neteyamās. But it hadnāt felt like his since the day he woke up. Now, it was you and the boys. Eylan curled into your chest, Likan wrapped around your leg, the baby in the woven basinet beside you, close enough to touch. Neteyam watched you from across the room, the firelight casting your silhouette in soft gold. You were quiet, always tired, always holding one child while keeping an eye on the others. Always doing something. And he⦠just watched.
He slept on a new mat, set up on the other side of the mauri. The distance felt necessary. That first night when heād pulled away from youāwhen he saw Tuk and didnāt recognize herāit was clear. He wasnāt the same. He remembered his motherās voice, his fatherās hands, Loāakās laugh, Kiriās connection to the forest. But he didnāt remember you as his wife. He didnāt remember the baby, the boys. And Tukāshe wasnāt even born in his memory either. The look in your eyes when heād asked who you were, never left him.
Since then, the mauri had been a blur of movement. Jake had sent word to Norm and Max. Ronal checked on him every day. Tsireya and Aonung kept their distance, though Tsireyaās eyes lingered sometimes when she looked at you. Kiri stayed close. Neytiri moved between you and Neteyam like she was split in half. Everyone tried to act like things were normal. They werenāt.
You never asked Neteyam to come back to the mat. You let him choose. You never tried to force the baby into his arms. Never corrected the way he hesitated when Likan reached for him. But he noticed. He noticed everything. He saw how you carried it allāhow you shifted the baby with one arm while holding Likanās hand, how you smoothed Eylanās hair and soothed him to sleep while the others cried. You never asked for help, but you didnāt need to. Loāak was always there.
Loāak, who shouldāve been carefree. Who shouldāve still been the younger brother. But Neteyam saw how he moved around you like heād done this all before. Helped you wrap the sling for the baby. Tied the back knot without needing to look. Lifted the basket out of your way without being asked. Fed Likan. Braided Eylanās hair. Caught you when your legs almost gave out. And it wasnāt just helpfulāit was natural. Familiar. Too familiar.
One morning, Neteyam watched as Loāak pressed a hand to your back while you sat feeding the baby, whispering something that made you exhale a tired laugh. Your head dropped forward, and he gently lifted the hair from your face. The touch was soft. The kind of soft that made Neteyamās stomach twist.
Later that day, you stumbled again as you were going to a fussy Likan, only for a second and Loāak was there, catching you before you hit the ground. His hands went to your waist. You gripped his arms to steady yourself, eyes meeting in silence.
Neteyam stood up. The room shifted, just slightly. Kiri paused. Neytiri looked up. āIāll do it,ā Neteyam said, voice sharp. You turned, confused. Loāak blinked.
Neteyam crossed the space and reached for Likan, who had been fussing on the floor. His hands were unsure, but the moment Likan saw him, the toddlerās arms lifted in recognition. Neteyam picked him up. Held him. He didnāt even know if he was doing it right. But Likan laid his head against his chest and didnāt move. It was the first time Neteyam held one of his children since waking up. Something cracked open.
That night, he watched you sleep again. Your body curled around the baby. Eylan sprawled out beside you. Likan using your leg as a pillow. You hadnāt even noticed how your hand remained outstretched, resting on the basinet like you needed the baby within reach. You looked like a home. His home. But it felt like you were a thousand miles away.
Loāak came in quietly and crouched beside you. He brushed your hair back. Whispered something. You nodded. Neteyamās jaw clenched. His fists curled in the blankets.
The next few days, Loāak pulled back. Let Neteyam help first. Watched from a distance more often than he acted. He never said anything about it. But Neteyam noticed that, too.
He noticed the quiet glances from Kiri when he didnāt know how to soothe the baby. The way Neytiri held both you and Tuk in the mornings. The way Jakeās eyes lingered on him with a mixture of guilt and sorrow. Everyone knew he was missing something. And they were waiting.
Neteyam was trying. Trying to remember. Trying to learn. But more than anything, he was trying to understand how he could forget you. How you could be his mate, and he couldnāt feel it. How Loāak could touch you like that, help you like that, and somehow it didnāt seem wrong to anyone, except him.
And still, the baby slept with her cheek to your chest. Likan wrapped his hand in your braids. Eylan reached for you when he woke crying.
Neteyam sat on the edge of the mat, stiff and quiet, watching his own hands like they werenāt his. Max crouched in front of him, scanning a pad while Norm gently rotated a small light near his temple. Every time Neteyam blinked, it felt like he was waking into a world he didnāt recognize.
You sat nearby, the baby still asleep in the shallow woven basket beside you. Eylan was curled into Loāakās lap again, sucking on his thumb ā not out of habit, but anxiety. Likan was sprawled across your thigh, little fingers tangled in the strings of your chest wrap.
āIām going to ask you a few things, okay?ā Norm said gently. āNo pressure. Just answer what you can.ā Neteyam nodded slowly.,āWhatās your name?ā
āNeteyam te Suli Tsyeykāitan.ā Norm smiled, āthatās good,ā encouraged. āAnd your parents?ā Neteyam looked across the room at Jake and Neytiri. āMa saānok. Ma sempu.ā
āDo you remember where you grew up?ā
āThe forest. The Omatikaya clanā He glanced around the reef mauri. āThis place is⦠new.ā Max nodded. āYou came here during the war after the sky people returned. Thatās okay you donāt remember yet. What about your siblings?ā
Neteyam hesitated. āLoāak⦠and Kiri. I remember them.ā His brow furrowed. āBut that little oneāā he pointed at Tuk, who stood near Neytiri, peeking out from behind her legs. āI donāt know her.ā Tuk shrank back slightly, confused. Neytiri placed a protective hand on her head. āThatās Tuk,ā Jake said gently. āYour youngest sister.ā
āI never met her,ā Neteyam murmured, voice flat. You glanced down, heart sinking. Norm didnāt let the pause linger. āAnd this woman?ā He nodded toward you. āDo you remember her?ā Neteyam looked at you for a long time.
āI know her name,ā he said quietly. āI remember her from before. When we were little. She always followed me around.ā You almost laughed at that, even through the ache. āBut after that⦠nothing,ā he whispered.
āNeteyam,ā Max spoke up, shifting tone. āYouāve lost all memory past a certain point in your life. Itās not unusual in cases like this ā trauma, brain swelling, lack of oxygen, comaā¦ā
āIāve been asleep for months?ā Neteyam cut in, sharp as if to confirm it again. Jake stepped forward. āYes.ā
āAnd youāre all just⦠what? Waiting for me to get up?ā
āOf course we were,ā Neytiri said softly. He rubbed at his chest like it ached. āBut I donāt even remember learning how to fight. Or fly. Or the war. I donāt remember being a husband or a fatherāā He stopped. Looked at the children.
āYouāre telling me theyāre mine, but I donāt feel it.ā Loāakās jaw twitched. Tsireya stepped beside him. āItās okay to feel lost.ā
āIs it?ā Neteyam shot back, and his tone was more edge than emotion. Silence crept through the mauri. You didnāt move. You couldnāt. Neteyam turned to his brother, eyes narrowing just slightly. āYouāve been helping. With⦠them.ā His gaze flicked to you. āWhy?ā Loāak blinked. āBecause she needed help.ā
āYou seemed very close,ā Neteyam said, voice careful. Loāak frowned. āWhatās that supposed to mean?ā
You stepped in finally, firm but calm. āIt means heās scared. And confused. And this is all too much for everyone involved, especially him.ā
Neteyam looked at you, jaw tense. āI just donāt understand how Iām gone for a few months, and suddenly I wake up and my little brother knows more about my life than I do.ā
āThatās not what happened NeteāāLoāak stood, slowly setting Eylan down beside him cutting you off. āBro, none of us wanted this. I helped because I had to. Because I love you. You think this was easy for anyone?ā
You stood too, placing a hand on Loāakās arm before it escalated. āStop. Donāt fight. Please.ā Jakeās voice was heavy. āWe all did what we had to.ā
āIām not even mad about it,ā Neteyam muttered, running a hand over his face. āI probably should be but, I just feel like I woke up in someone elseās life. A strangerās life.ā Neytiri moved to kneel at his side. āItās not someone elseās life, maāitan. Itās yours. We will walk with you until you find it again.ā
Tsireya leaned gently into Loāak, whispering something that calmed him. He exhaled hard, jaw clenching, but he nodded.
Max tapped something on his pad. āWeāll give you space. The best thing now might be small pieces. Familiar things. Let him be around his family. Let him feel things before he tries to remember them. Just live, hopefully memories will resurface during daily activities which normally happens in cases like these.ā
You looked down at your children. Eylan was clinging to Loāakās hand. Likan was staring at Neteyam like he didnāt understand why his papa didnāt scoop him up. And your daughter, curled in her basket, let out a tiny sigh in her sleep. A sound Neteyam once swore was the best thing heād ever heard when you had the boys. But he didnāt even flinch this time. And you had no idea how to begin again.
The next few months were both careful and chaotic ā a balance of heartbreak and fragile hope, as life moved forward with Neteyam awake but not truly returned. You tried not to mourn what you lost. He was alive. Breathing. Laughing sometimes. But he wasnāt yours, not in the way he used to be.
At first, it was small things. Kiri brought out the old woven toys they used to play with as kids. She laughed when Neteyam remembered the names they gave them ā āthatās Oāupey, the angry monkey-bird,ā he muttered one day, blinking in surprise at the memory. Tuk was still shy, unsure how to be with a brother who didnāt know her. But eventually, she began sneaking beside him during mealtimes, nudging his arm with her shoulder until he smiled down at her and shared his fruit.
Loāak kept his distance for a few days after that first confrontation, letting space settle between you all. But he never strayed far from the kids. Eylan still ran to him when he scraped his knee. Likan still tugged on his braid when he was sleepy. Neteyam watched this from the edge of the room, always quiet.
Neteyam had moved into a separate space near the edge of the Sully mauri which was next to the one you both shared in the previous years. He couldnāt sleep beside you, not with the weight of your shared history heavy on a mind that couldnāt recall it. So, the boys stayed with you, and the baby girl in the woven basket slept at your side. Neytiri helped every night, whispering lullabies and staying close when your arms trembled from exhaustion.
Jake took it hardest in the quiet moments. His son was there, walking beside him, training again slowly, and yet the bond between them was stunted. Neteyam asked him once if heād been a good warrior, and Jake nearly broke, but he told him how proud he was, how much of a good person, son, warrior, husband and father heād always been.
āHe was the best,ā he told Max later, voice rough. āHe died trying to save us. And now he doesnāt even remember what he was saving.ā
You and Neteyam began spending time together carefully. Norm had suggested building new memories to replace the missing ones. So, you started showing him the forest again ā not the one youād grown up in, but the edge of it, where vines crept low and fruit hung from branches. You told him the story of how you first met.
āYou were three, just turned three and I was two years old. I was sitting in the village, and you came up to me and sat down and shared your fruit with me.ā you said one day, crouched in the sand beside the mangroves. āAnd you just sat there with me eating the little piece of fruit you kept for yourself and after that we justā¦stay together.ā He smiled, barely. āSounds sweet.ā
āIt was,ā you whispered, āand so was the fruit, I knew cause as we got older you never ate fruit that wasnāt overly ripe. It was always the sweetest u could find.ā Neteyam didnāt argue. But he kept his soft smile until it faded.
Tsireya was gentle with him, like she always had been. She reminded him of reef customs, reintroduced him to Aonung, and brought him on swims through familiar coral paths. There was never judgment in her voice ā only patience. You saw her watching him when he wasnāt looking. Once, you caught her eyes drift to you, and in that silence between you, there was no rivalry. Just pain shared in quiet solidarity.
Loāak helped where he could, but he never overstepped again. Not in front of Neteyam. Not anymore. But you felt it sometimes ā the way Neteyam watched him carry Likan, or braid Eylanās hair while you nursed the baby. It wasnāt jealousy, not fully. It was a wound. A gap in time that didnāt make sense.
One night, after a long day helping with repairs near the reef line, Neteyam lingered outside your mauri. You were inside, humming softly as you tried to get the baby down. He didnāt enter. But his voice drifted through the curtain: āWhatās her name?ā
You froze. You stepped toward the flap, lifting it slowly. āWe havenāt named her yet,ā you said. āNot fully. We were waitingā
He blinked. āWhy?ā Your voice cracked. āBecause I choose too many names because there are a lot of pretty ones, and you are the one that normally has the final say.ā He didnāt say anything. But he didnāt leave either.
Kiri was the first one to make him laugh again. She dragged him to the beach with a basket full of sea slugs and made him chase Likan, who had stolen one and was screeching with joy. When Likan fell in the shallows, Neteyam picked him up instinctively ā and for one heartbeat, it felt like the past.
But when Likan called him āsempu,ā Neteyam stiffened. āHe thinks Iām someone Iām not,ā he told you later āNo,ā you said quietly. āHe thinks youāre you. His father. And he is not wrong.ā
One afternoon, the sun had barely started to dip beneath the waves when Tsireya brought Neteyam down to the shallows again. Loāak followed without a word, as if he didnāt want to leave his brother alone, to keep him safe. It had become a quiet ritual, easing Neteyam into the life heād forgotten. He was polite. Curious. Observant. And completely unaware of the landmines his presence was walking over.
The beach was half-crowded with young hunters cleaning their weapons and tending to their gear. Laughter floated above the gentle surf. āNeteyam?ā Soft, like a breeze. He turned, and so did Tsireya and Loāak.
Lina stepped out from a cluster of others, a gentle smile pulling at her lips. Her eyes were kind, the curve of her voice never sharp. She was tall and pretty, wet curls cascading down her back, bow slung across her back, fingers stained with oil from cleaning arrowheads. Neteyam tilted his head. āHave we met?ā
āYes,ā she said gently, approaching but still giving him space. āWe used to train together. Before⦠everything.ā He squinted, curious. āI donāt remember.ā
āThatās okay,ā she replied, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. āYou used to say you could outswim me. You never could.ā He blinked, then laughed ā and it was so easy. Like he didnāt have the weight of a family he couldnāt remember pressed into his chest. Like something about her didnāt require effort. āI doubt that,ā he said, smiling full now. āYou donāt look like you swim very fast.ā
She blushed faintly and laughed. āYou said I was faster than you once. But you also said I cheated.ā
āMaybe I did,ā he said, eyes twinkling a bit too long on her face. āSounds like something Iād say.ā Loāakās brows lowered slightly. Tsireya shifted beside him, her hand sliding into his as if instinctually ā as if to ground herself. Lina lowered her eyes a moment. āYou helped me build my bow. Back when my brother broke mine. You carved a seashell on the handle for me.ā Neteyam looked down at the bow on her back, then back at her. āI did that?ā
āYou said it reminded you of a sunrise.ā There was a pause. His smile softened. āIād like to see that sunrise again.ā Loāakās jaw slackened, his brother had always been smooth, but heād only ever seen Neteyam really show interest in you. Tsireya sucked in a slow breath, eyes flicking toward her mate in quiet concern. They exchanged a look ā full of too much they couldnāt say out loud. Not here. Not now.
āYou⦠want to walk the shore?ā Lina offered shyly, motioning toward the far end where the cliffs curved. And Neteyam nodded. āI think I do.ā The two of them wandered off, feet kicking through the foam. Tsireya turned to Loāak. āWe need to say something.ā His face was carved from stone. āNot yet,ā he said, voice quiet. āSheās been through too much already.ā
āSheāll notice eventually.ā He nodded, jaw tight. āThen weāll tell her eventually.ā But neither of them moved. They just stood there, watching their brother disappear further down the sand ā toward someone he never remembered, but now seemed to see more clearly than the people whoād loved him all his life.
It was another sleepless night. It had been a couple of weeks now since Neteyam woke up and he was no where to be found. The baby had been fussing for hours, her soft cries escalating into breathless wails. Likan stirred again, kicking off his woven blanket, eyes puffy with confusion and frustration. Eylan was curled on his side but not asleep, thumb tucked against his lips the way he hadnāt done in years. He didnāt cry anymore, he just stared at the wall and sniffled, quiet in that way that made your heart twist.
You were pacing again. Rocking the baby against your chest, bouncing on tired feet, muttering soothing nonsense into her ear. You hadnāt eaten much. You hadnāt really sat down. You hadnāt even noticed the blood on your lower back where the wrap had pulled too tight across your healing skin. The strain of childbirth, the strain of grief, the loneliness of loving someone who didnāt know you anymore ā it had started to show.
And no one had said it aloud, but the mat felt emptier now than when Neteyam had been unconscious. Because now he wasnāt there, and you were alone.
The family tried, they did, Neytiri and Kiri checked in. Jake held Likan when he screamed for his father. Tsireya helped brush Eylanās hair when he refused to do it himself. But they were pulled thin. And Loāak had pulled away.
You had noticed it a few nights ago, when you turned in desperation to ask him for help reaching the water jug, and he pretended not to hear you. When the boys cried for him and he sent Tuk instead. You hadnāt said anything then. Maybe you thought it would pass or that youād just figure it out.
But tonight, the pressure snapped. The baby wouldnāt settle. You were shaking. Likan started crying. Again. And your hands were trembling so bad the cup of water you tried to pour spilled across the floor. And thatās when Loāak walked in.
You didnāt even hear him at first ā just saw his shadow, crouched beside Eylan, checking on him. The soft whisper of āHey, buddy,ā as he tucked the boyās arm back under the blanket. Then he turned and saw you.
You were standing near the mat, the baby clutched to your chest, your whole body strung tight. Likan was crying in the corner, and you didnāt even know what to do anymore ā hold him? Put her down? Lie on the ground and cry with them? You blinked at Loāak like he wasnāt real. And when he reached to take the baby from your arms, something snapped.
āNo.ā He paused, arms mid-stretch. āWhat?ā
āYou donāt get to come in when itās convenient for you.ā Your voice cracked. āIāve been here. Alone. You were supposed to help me. You always did.āLoāakās jaw locked. āI thought with Neteyamāā
āWell, Neteyam is gone!ā you hissed, too loud, the baby jerking in your grip. You rocked her faster, whispering apologies, tears burning behind your eyes. āHeās not dead but heās gone, and I am so tired, Loāak. Iām tired of holding this family together with spit and prayers.ā
āI didnāt know you wanted my help anymore.ā
āI didnāt want to need it anymore!ā Silence stretched. You were shaking. Loāak took a slow step closer. āHeās my brother,ā he said, quietly. āAnd I thought⦠if I stepped back, maybe it would be easier. For everyone.ā
āItās not.ā You looked up at him, eyes glassy and dark. āI didnāt ask for this. And I didnāt expect you to fix it. But you were the one who was there. You were the one who held me when she was born. And I know, I know Iām asking a lot of you, and I know these kids arenāt your responsibility, but I need help sometimes.ā Loāak flinched.
The baby finally drifted into exhausted sleep. You sank to your knees beside Likan, curling him against your chest as best you could. Loāak just stood there, like he didnāt know if he should stay or go. āIām sorry,ā he said. āI thought Neteyam would come back and remember how to be everything you needed.ā You didnāt look at him. Just whispered: āMe too.ā
He knelt down beside you then, hands hovering before gently reaching for Likan, taking him from your arms. The toddlerās sobs stilled a little against Loāakās shoulder.
āYou should rest,ā he murmured. āIāll stay tonight.ā You didnāt thank him. Not with words. But you leaned into him ā just slightly ā and he stayed there. Holding your child, watching you sleep with the baby curled in one of your arms. The other reaching for Eylan to try easing him to sleep. But no one said the thing hanging in the air between you. That he wasnāt the one who was supposed to be there. That he shouldnāt have had to fill the space his brother left behind.
Neteyam stayed close. His mauri was just a few steps from yours ā the one you used to share ā and right next to his parentsā. Close enough to hear the baby cry at night. Close enough to sometimes catch the scent of your cooking drift over in the mornings. Close enough that the boys could wander to his mat and sit nearby, even if he didnāt fully understand why it made his chest tighten when they did. But he never stepped inside.
Even as the weeks passed and his strength returned, Neteyam never once crossed that threshold. Not even when he watched you from the corner of his eye, swaying the baby back to sleep just outside. Not when Eylan called out āSaānok, saānok! Look!ā while holding up a fish Loāak helped him catch. Not even when Likan would wander over, curious and bold, standing at the edge of Neteyamās sleeping space before being gently redirected by Kiri or Neytiri.
He stayed in the in-between. And Loāak, for all his own complicated grief, never once gave up on him. He came by almost every day. Sometimes with food. Sometimes with little tools or handmade knives ā āYou used to like this,ā heād say casually. Other times, he just sat, throwing pebbles at the sand as Neteyam stared at the sky. āYou talk less than you used to,ā Loāak muttered one day, nudging him. āYou used to talk a lot. Mostly telling me I was being dumb.ā
Neteyam gave a faint, crooked smile. āThat still sounds accurate.ā It was moments like that flickers, glimpses, that made Loāak hopeful.
But then there was Lina. Sheād been there from the beginning, one of the few Metkayina Neteyam didnāt look at with the uncomfortable weight of āI should know you.ā Because he didnāt. Not really. Not in memory. So, it was easier.
Easier to walk with her on the shore after a long day. Easier to practice knife-throwing with her and not feel like a failure when he missed. Sheād laugh gently, encourage him, sometimes place her hand over his to guide the movement. She smelled like sea salt and wind. Spoke softly. Never stared at his scars. Loāak noticed it all.
He didnāt mention it but, he didnāt stop it either. But he started watching more closely. Not out of jealousy ā no, not that. It was something closer to protection. For you. For the boys. For a version of his brother that Loāak still believed was inside there somewhere. And the strange thing was, Neteyam wasnāt doing anything wrong. He wasnāt cruel. He wasnāt trying to replace anyone. He was just lost. And Lina, with her easy calm and open eyes, was the only place that didnāt make him feel like he was failing someone just by existing.
Meanwhile, the nights for you stretched long and raw. The baby cried more now. Maybe she felt it ā her father just a few paces away, but never close. Eylan had grown quieter, his eyes constantly drifting toward his fatherās silhouette. Likan had taken to curling into your side and not letting go, even in sleep.
The family helped where they could. Neytiri especially ā splitting her time between you and Neteyam, her heart torn in half. But no matter how many hands helped, you were still up at night. Still aching. And Neteyam was still outside, just beyond the flap of the mauri. Awake. Watching the stars. Not knowing why they felt lonelier than before.
One day the boys were laughing as they chased one another along the shore, their feet kicking up puffs of white sand. You watched them with tired eyes from just outside the mauri, the baby restless in your arms.
She was crying again ā not a loud, piercing wail, just that miserable, fussy sound that always came in waves when she couldnāt seem to settle. Youād walked her, rocked her, hummed and whispered to her until your throat ached. Nothing helped today. You bounced her gently, pressing a kiss to her damp cheek. āI know, sweet girl. I know.ā
Behind you, there was a shift in the air. You turned your head just slightly ā and found Neteyam standing there. He wasnāt close. Just at the edge of the clearing, half in shadow, watching with unreadable eyes. He hesitated. āI can take her,ā he said finally, voice low and unsure. āIf⦠if you want.ā
Your heart gave a soft, startled flutter. You straightened slowly, blinking at him. āYou donāt have to,ā you murmured. āI know,ā he said. āBut I want to.ā You looked down at the baby in your arms. She was still fussing, fists clenched, brow furrowed like the whole world was wrong. She didnāt know her father had never held her. Didnāt know heād been sleeping when she was born. Didnāt know he didnāt remember her at all. But somehow⦠maybe she felt it.
You stood carefully and stepped toward him. Your arms trembled a bit ā not from fear, just the weight of the moment. You cradled her close a second longer, then gently passed her over. He took her like she was made of glass. The way his hands moved ā cautious, reverent. His whole body stilled as she settled into the crook of his arm. She squirmed at first, then let out a small, sighing cry⦠And stilled. He looked down at her. Then up at you. āShe looks like me,ā he said quietly.
You nodded. āShe does.ā āI never held her before now?ā he asked. āNo,ā you whispered. āYou havenāt really.ā He looked away, shame flickering across his face. But the baby ā your baby ā made a soft, curious coo and blinked up at him with slow, sleepy eyes. His mouth parted, stunned. āI donāt remember her,ā he said. āBut I feel like I should.ā You reached out gently, fingers brushing his arm. āYou donāt have to force anything. Youāre holding her. Thatās enough.ā
He looked at you ā really looked ā then back down at her. āWhatās her name?ā he asked. You exhaled slowly. āShe doesnāt have one yet. I⦠I couldnāt pick. I tried. But I couldnāt.ā He looked at you again, a strange mix of emotion tightening his brow. āYou said I used to choose.ā You nodded. āAlways. I would give you too many names. I could never make up my mind, and youād just⦠decide. Like you already knew.ā His eyes fell back to her, the tiniest crease forming between his brows. āDo you have names now?ā he asked. You swallowed. āThree.ā
He waited. āSahri. Eiweya. Kiriya.ā He mouthed them silently. Then, softer than breath ā āKiriya.ā You blinked. āThat one,ā he said. āShe feels like that.ā She shifted in his arms, letting out a tiny sigh before nestling her head beneath his chin. You stared at them, heart thudding, something breaking and stitching together all at once. āKiriya,ā you echoed. āThen thatās her name.ā He didnāt say anything else. But he didnāt hand her back either.
The beach wind had quieted, the tide soft at your feet. Kiriyaās cries had faded into soft snuffles as she dozed in Neteyamās arms. Her tiny hand rested against his chest; her brow furrowed even in sleep ā just like his.
You were watching Eylan and Likan build crooked towers of shells in the sand when Neteyam glanced over at you. āI should bring her in,ā he said. You turned to him slowly, heart tapping at your ribs. āWill you stay? For dinner?ā He didnāt answer right away. His eyes flicked back to the baby. āDo you want me to?ā You blinked, caught off guard by the question. āOf course,ā you said. āThe boys would love that.ā Neteyam gave a tiny nod, shifting the baby carefully. āOkay.ā
At the mauri, the scent of roasted yovo drifted over fresh leaves and warm stones. Neytiri and Jake were already sitting, Tuk bouncing between them with a carved spoon in each hand. Ronal and Tsireya moved around the fire, while Kiri passed plates to everyone. Loāak was sitting cross-legged, peeling fruit with his knife and chatting with Aoānung.
He looked up when he heard your voice first ā then saw who was walking beside you. His eyes widened slightly. Neteyam holding the baby. Loāak stood up halfway, his fruit forgotten. A grin broke across his face before he could stop it. āBro.ā His voice cracked. Neteyam paused, shifting under the attention. āShe was crying,ā he said stiffly. āI was just⦠holding her.ā Neytiri was already clearing a space near her side. āCome. Sit.ā Loāak backed up, still smiling, as you and Neteyam stepped into the circle. You caught the warmth in his eyes ā not surprise. Relief. Eylan barreled past you, nearly knocking over a bowl. āSheās still sleeping?ā
āStill,ā Neteyam said. Likan scrambled onto your lap, thumb in his mouth, then reached toward his baby sister. āDada hold her,ā he whispered, proud. āShe sleep wike a bug,ā he added, pressing his hand over his cheek to mimic her squish. Neteyam smiled ā a real one. Quick and uncertain, but real. Loāak sank down beside him, nudging Eylan aside just enough to pass him a plate. āYou gonna eat or just be the baby chair tonight?ā Neteyam snorted. āThink sheās claimed me.ā
āGood,ā Loāak said. āShe deserves it. So do you.ā You looked over at him, and he gave you a small wink ā not smug, just glad. Like something inside him had finally relaxed. Dinner passed in slow waves ā small bites, soft laughter, cautious conversation. Kiri watched you like a mother pent up with hope. Tsireya offered seconds. And when Kiriya stirred, Neteyam didnāt pass her off right away. He held her close, tracing the fine wisps of hair over her temple. You didnāt say anything. But when he looked at you and said softly, āI like the name,ā it almost broke you. āMe too.ā
Afterward, when the children had eaten their fill and begun nodding off against each other, Loāak helped clean up. He passed behind you and murmured low near your ear: āHeās trying. I see it.ā You looked back at him. āAnd Iām glad,ā he added with a grin. āYou look lighter tonight.ā You pressed your fingers to your lips, almost in disbelief. So did he. Because for the first time in many weeks, you all sat under the stars together. And Neteyam stayed.
Over the next several days, Neteyam had been around sometimes, other times disappearing off to somewhere in the reef. You honestly didnāt think much about it, having your hands full with the children kept your mind occupied, and ever since the night he had dinner things have been better between you, or thatās what you thought anyways. You had no idea he was off bonding with another woman.
The first time, they were hunting along the reef ledge. Lina was leading him through narrow tunnels in the coral, glancing over her shoulder to smirk at him every few paces. āYouāre too slow,ā she calls over the bubbling tide. Neteyam grins, swimming harder to catch up. āIām letting you win.ā
āOh?ā she tilts her head, treading water as he nears. āYou always this generous, or just with me?ā He chuckles ā canāt help it ā and bumps her gently with his shoulder. She bumps him back.
The second time, they were drying gear near the rocks. Linaās hair is loose, still dripping, skin shining with salt and sun. She reaches out to adjust the strap of his sling.
āStill too tight,ā she mutters, tugging it just slightly. āYouāll bruise yourself.ā His hand brushes hers. āWhat would I do without you?ā
āStarve. Or bleed out,ā she says, looking up at him through her lashes. Neteyam bites the inside of his cheek to hide a grin.
The third time, he finds her sitting on a flat stone, braiding thin strips of shell into a necklace. āThat for me?ā he asks, flopping down beside her, deliberately brushing her leg with his tail. She laughs, doesnāt move away. āYou wish.ā He leans on one arm. āWhat if I do?ā She goes still ā just for a second ā then smiles again. āThen maybe Iāll make you one. If you catch a bigger fish than me tomorrow.ā
āEasy.ā
āYou talk too much.ā
āYou like it.ā She says nothing ā but she doesnāt argue.
The fourth time, they were in the shallows, dusk falling in golden streaks across the ocean. She splashes him lightly, then darts away with a laugh. He chases, catches her wrist under the water, and spins her in a circle. Their laughter echoes against the reef wall. āYouāre impossible,ā he says, chest heaving. āYouāre slow.ā
āI let you go.ā
āLiar.ā He pulls her close again ā just slightly ā hand on her arm, holding her steady. She doesnāt pull away. āYou gonna let go?ā she whispers. He hesitates.
And thatās when they hear it. A sharp inhale. Both of them turn ā and Tsireya is standing at the edge of the sandbank, staring. She wasnāt meant to find them here. Not this close. Not this comfortable. Her eyes flick between their bodies ā wet, pressed too close, laughter still fading in the air. Lina steps back instantly and Neteyamās hand drops. Tsireyaās voice is tight. āLoāakās been looking for you.ā He doesnāt answer so she turns and walks away.
That evening when the tide had rolled in, moonlight catching on the crests as the reef swayed in rhythm. Most of the village had gone quiet ā the firelight around the Sully mauri low and flickering. Tsireya found Loāak by the far edge of the reef, feeding dried root to an ilu calf. His hair was damp, eyes tired. She didnāt speak at first. Just stood there, jaw tight.
Loāak glanced up. āHey,ā he offered, but her expression stopped him cold āWhat?ā
āI saw them again.ā He frowned. āWho?ā
āNeteyam. And Lina.ā Loāakās shoulders dropped. āYeah, I figuredāā
āNo,ā she said sharply. āYou donāt understand. This isnāt just awkward flirting anymore.ā
She stepped closer, voice barely above a whisper. āShe touched his chest today and he was touching her arm. Laughed like it was nothing. Then leaned into him likeālike she wanted him to notice. And he did.ā Loāak looked away, jaw clenching.
āShe doesnāt care,ā Tsireya hissed. āShe knows. She knows heās married. She knows you all told him. She knows he has children. And she still looks at him like that.ā
āNeteyam doesnāt rememberāā
āThat doesnāt excuse her.ā Loāak shook his head. āI donāt think he sees it the way we do.ā Tsireya didnāt back off. āHe doesnāt have to know everything to feel whatās right. Something in him should know. That kind of bond doesnāt disappear just because you forgot a name.ā
āHeās not the same,ā Loāak muttered. āNot yet.ā
āAnd sheās taking advantage of that,ā Tsireya snapped. Silence hung between them, thick as sea fog. āI didnāt tell her,ā She said quietly. āI didnāt say a word. But I swear, Loāak⦠if Lina puts her hands on him again like that, I will.ā He exhaled slowly. āDonāt.ā
āWhy not?ā
āBecause sheās already breaking,ā he said, voice strained. āEvery day sheās holding it together for those kids, for the family. You think watching him forget her wasnāt bad enough?ā Tsireyaās eyes softened.
āShe finally got him to hold the baby,ā Loāak added. āNamed her with him. The day they sat and ate with the family. First time in months. It was right before that.ā Her voice dropped to a whisper. āThen why is he out there with her?ā
āI donāt know,ā Loāak admitted, eyes glistening. āBut I canāt be the one to break her.ā Tsireya nodded once, quietly. āThen Iāll wait. But not forever.ā Loāak stared at the stars, wondering how long he could keep pretending nothing was burning.
Neteyam sat on the warm stone, legs stretched, hands braced behind him as the waves lapped close. Lina was beside him, knees drawn up, the curve of her smile impossibly soft in the golden light. āYour shoulders tense again,ā she murmured, scooting closer.
He didnāt stop her when her fingers brushed along his shoulder. āI think you like touching me,ā he said, not quite teasing, not quite serious. Lina laughed under her breath. āMaybe. Youāre not stopping me.ā He turned to look at her ā really look.
āYouāre not like the others,ā he said slowly. āEveryone stares at me like Iām supposed to be someone they remember. You just⦠let me be who I am now.ā
āYou donāt owe anyone a past you canāt remember,ā she whispered.
āYou donāt even ask questions.ā
āI already know the answers that matter,ā she smiled. āI like you.ā
He blinked. āYou donāt care that Iāmāā
āMarried?ā she finished, almost playfully. āYou donāt remember that. Itās not the same.ā There was a pause. A long, heavy pause.
āIām stillāā he started, then faltered. āSheās kind. Patient. But itās like Iām supposed to feel something I donāt.ā
āYou donāt have to explain anything to me,ā Lina said, brushing her fingers along the side of his jaw. āYou just⦠feel this. Now.ā And then she kissed him. Not a short, confused kiss. Not unsure. This was deliberate. Gentle, but real. And Neteyamāhe didnāt pull away, not right away. His hands twitched against the rock. When he did break it, it was breathless, conflicted. āLinaāā She smiled. āYou can stop me next time. If you want.ā
Behind a rock ledge just above them, Neytiri stood frozen. She had come looking. Something in her heart told her something was wrong. And what she heard broke her completely. Every word. āYou just feel this. Now.ā The kiss. She almost called him out. Almost walked forward and made her presence known. But she didnāt. She couldnāt. Not when her son ā her eldest ā the one she buried her soul into, kissed another woman while his mate rocked their baby just a few steps away in the village. Neytiri backed away, breath trembling, hand pressed hard against her chest. She didnāt speak. But something inside her, something sacred, began to unravel. Not for herself, but for you.
The night air was still and thick with the hum of distant ocean wind. Only the crackle of low embers broke the silence inside the Sully mauri. Neytiri sat by the hearth, her body unmoving, eyes fixed on the firelight flickering across her knuckles.
Jake entered quietly, wiping his hands with a cloth after helping Kiri settle Eylan and Likan into their sleeping mat while you tended to Kiriya. āYouāve been quiet all night,ā he said, crouching beside her. Neytiri didnāt look at him. Her voice, when it came, was soft but cut with steel. āI saw them.ā Jakeās brow furrowed. āWho?ā Her jaw clenched. āNeteyam. And the girl.ā He sat down slowly, feeling the air shift. āWhat girl?ā Neytiri nodded once. āThat Lina girlā Two nights ago. I followed him. I wanted to be sure.ā
Jakeās voice dropped. āWhat did you see?ā Her eyes lifted to meet his, burning. āThey were kissing. Her hand was on his jaw. He did not stop her.ā
Jake swore under his breath, rubbing his temples. āShit.ā Behind the thin woven wall, there was a scuffle of movement. Someone breathing too loudly. Too sharply. Neytiriās ears twitched. A moment passed before Loāak stepped into the light, arms at his sides, face drawn in guilt. Tsireya stood behind him, hands knotted in front of her, not meeting anyoneās eyes.
āI know,ā Loāak said before either parent could ask. āIāve known.ā Neytiri rose slowly to her feet. āHow long?ā Loāak held up a hand. āIāve known for a while. Since before he even held the baby. I saw them. First just talking, then⦠more. Since he started to go to the tide pools the hunters hand out by.ā
Jakeās eyes narrowed. āAnd you didnāt think to say anything?ā
āI didnāt know how,ā Loāak admitted. āSheās already barely holding things together. Sheās feeding the baby alone. Putting the boys to bed. Waiting on him to come home. And I justāā
āYou should have told us,ā Neytiri snapped. āI thought heād come around,ā Loāak said, voice cracking. āI thought once he saw her ā really saw her ā saw the kids ā it would all fall into place. I thought the memory flashes were working.ā Jakeās jaw worked. āBut he kept going back to Lina.ā Loāak nodded. āHe kept going back I guess.ā Neytiriās voice was trembling now. āAnd you let her believe he was trying.ā
āI didnāt want to be the one to break her,ā Loāak whispered. āShe still believes in him.ā Tsireya finally spoke, quiet but firm. āLoāak and I first saw them. I told him we should say something, but he said it wasnāt time.ā
Neytiri turned away, her fists clenched. āHe kissed another woman. While his mate waits. While she takes care of those babies alone.ā
Jake stood slowly, running both hands down his face. āWe need to talk to him.ā Loāak looked up quickly. āNot yet. Please. Heās remembering. Not all of it, but enough that I think heās confused. Let me talk to him first.ā
Neytiriās eyes narrowed. āAnd if he touches her again?ā Jake answered this time, voice cold and low. āThen itās no longer confusion. Itās a choice.ā The word no one said was still thick in the air. And none of them could bear to imagine the moment you would find out.
The sky was dark, save for a stretch of stars reflected on the surface of the sea. Small waves lapped at the sand as Neteyam stood alone, arms folded, staring out at the horizon. His back was to the village, but he hadnāt gone far ā not really. He could still hear the soft calls of nocturnal birds, the echo of distant laughter, the crackling of fires. Loāak found him there.
He didnāt say anything at first. Just stepped up beside his brother, letting the silence linger. The two stood shoulder to shoulder, the sea wind tossing their braids gently. Neteyam spoke first, barely above a murmur. āDid they send you?ā Loāak shook his head. āNo. I came on my own.ā Neteyamās jaw tightened. āI already know what this is about.ā Loāak sighed. āThen that makes it easier.ā A long pause. Then, quietly: āI saw you with her, bro.ā Neteyam flinched, but didnāt turn. āYouāve been spying on me?ā
āNo,ā Loāak said softly. āJust looking out. For her. For the kids.ā Neteyam finally looked at him, eyes conflicted, searching. āItās not like that.ā
āYou kissed her,ā Loāak replied, not harshly, just stating fact. āAnd youāve been sneaking off for weeks.ā Neteyamās mouth opened, but no words came. Loāak shook his head slowly. āIām not here to yell at you,ā he said. āIām not our dad. Iām your brother.ā
He hesitated, then added, āAnd Iām hers too. Not by blood ā but I helped catch your daughter when you were unconscious. Iāve held your sons when they cried for you. Iāve seen the way she looks at you like you hung the stars.ā Neteyamās eyes shimmered with something ā regret, maybe, or confusion. āI donāt know whatās happening in your head,ā Loāak said, voice low. āI know this memory thing is eating you up. I know youāre not the same. But that doesnāt mean you get to break her in silence.ā
āI didnāt mean to hurt her,ā Neteyam said. āBut you are,ā Loāak whispered. āEvery time you donāt come home. Every time she lies to the boys and says youāre busy, or training. Every time she feeds the baby alone. And she wonāt ask you to stay, she has no idea. Sheāll wait for you to come to her.ā
Neteyam turned his face away. āShe thinks youāre getting better,ā Loāak went on. āShe thinks youāre coming back to her. And you are, sometimes. That night on the tablet, when you smiled at her. You felt like you. Thatās whatās killing her. She hopes.ā Loāak paused, then said gently, āIs it Lina?ā Neteyam didnāt answer. āSheās not your mate,ā Loāak said, still calm. āShe doesnāt know your sonsā lullabies. She didnāt carry your child. She didnāt sit at your side when you were dying.ā Neteyam closed his eyes. His voice was a whisper. āI know.ā
Loāak looked at him with something like grief. āThen why are you still going to her?ā The silence hung, heavy and raw. āI donāt know,ā Neteyam said. āSheās⦠easy. I donāt have to feel like Iām failing when Iām with her.ā Loāakās eyes darkened. āShe doesnāt ask you to remember.ā
Neteyam nodded. āShe doesnāt look at me like sheās waiting to find the old me.ā Loāak stepped closer. āShe doesnāt know the old you. We do. And she does.ā Neteyam looked at him, chest tight. āWhat if I never remember everything?ā
āThen you start from where you are,ā Loāak said. āBut you donāt build something new while sheās still holding the pieces you left behind.ā Neteyam turned away again, swallowing hard. Loāak let the words sit. He didnāt demand. He didnāt lecture. Just before he walked away, he added one last thing, soft as dusk. āYou were always the one I looked up to. The steady one. The protector.ā He paused. āIf you canāt remember it from your own memory, remember it came from me.ā And then he left his brother alone with the stars.
Itās the next morning. Youāre up early with the baby, trying to braid Eylanās hair while Likan chews on a toy. Neteyam returns from the beach. His shoulders are tense. His steps are slow. You smile when you see him. āHey,ā you say softly. āWe missed you at breakfast.ā He hesitates. Then: āCan we talk?ā Your stomach drops. You hand Eylan the comb and step outside with him, the light warm on your skin.
He doesnāt look at you when he speaks. āI⦠I need some time. To think. To breathe. Things are getting clearer but⦠itās a lot. Being here. With you. With the kids. With the pressure to feel everything Iām supposed to feel.ā You go quiet. His words twist in your chest. āYou donāt feel anything?ā
He shakes his head quickly. āNoā I do. I think I do. But I donāt know whatās real and whatās me wanting it to be real. Last night felt⦠good. You felt safe. Familiar. But then I woke up this morning andā¦ā His hands clench. āI was terrified again. Of losing myself to a life I donāt remember.ā You swallow hard. āSo, you want space.ā He nods. You nod too, but your lips tremble. āOkay.ā
āItās not forever,ā he says, voice low. āI just need to understand who I am⦠on my own.ā You force a small smile. āOf course. Take the time you need.ā But when he leaves, heading toward the far edge of the village ā you donāt know heās going to see Lina.
youāre left standing outside the mauri with the wind in your hair and a silent ache blooming beneath your ribs. And for a long moment⦠you just stand there. Because what are you supposed to do? Chase after him? Beg him to stay? Demand an explanation he doesnāt even understand himself? No. You go back inside. You wipe your eyes before the kids see.
The sun had barely risen when he walked away. Soft golden light slanted through the mangrove roots, stretching long shadows over the damp earth. The village was still, caught in that in-between hush before the day began ā birds just beginning to chirp, ocean breeze barely rustling the fronds above.
Inside, the air was warm and faintly sweet from the firepitās embers. The kids were already stirring. Kiriya had begun to fuss softly in her basket, tiny fists working against the woven cloth around her. Eylan sat nearby, rubbing his eyes with the heel of his palm and yawning loudly ā a tangle of half-finished braids still jutting out at strange angles. Likan lay sprawled on his belly, drooling into a woven mat and humming something tuneless to himself. You didnāt feel ready. But ready or not ā you were their world. And you were not going to let them see you fall. Youāve already let them down too much as it is.
You moved on instinct. You knelt first beside Kiriya, scooping her into your arms with the ease of a mother whoād done this a thousand times, even if it still ached in your chest. She whimpered once before latching against your breast, and the tension in her small body melted almost instantly. You rocked gently, her soft suckling grounding you. āThatās it, my little star,ā you whispered, brushing your nose against her temple. āEat well. Youāve got a big day ahead.ā
āIs it done?ā Eylanās voice broke into the silence, scratchy and young. āMy braids?ā You turned your head to him, gave a soft smile. āNot yet. Come here.ā He scooted over eagerly, plopping himself down in front of you with crossed legs. āYou stopped braiding it,ā he said, not accusing ā just observing. āI know,ā you murmured. āMama needed a moment. But Iām here now.ā
You finished nursing Kiriya and shifted her gently to your shoulder. With one hand, you resumed braiding Eylanās hair, fingers nimble even with your youngest curled against you, slowly drifting back to sleep. His hair was thick, like his fatherās, and slightly wild ā stubborn strands that always slipped from your grip. But you were patient. You always had been. Likan toddled over next, dragging his woven bird toy, his eyes still puffy with sleep. āHungry,ā he mumbled, pressing his face to your knee. You leaned down and kissed the top of his head. āSoon, baby boy. Let Mama finish your brotherās hair.ā
āI help?ā he asked, pointing at the pile of fruit. You chuckled. āYou can hand me the yovo, hmm?ā He nodded proudly and waddled off on his mission. By the time you finished Eylanās last braid and tied it off, Kiriya was burping sleepily against your shoulder and Likan had managed to bring back half a yovo fruit, teeth already sunk into it. You couldnāt help the small laugh that bubbled up. āThank you, sweet boy. Very helpful.ā He beamed, mouth full.
You got up slowly, adjusting Kiriya in your sling so she could sleep tucked against your chest. The boys followed as you moved toward the firepit, preparing their breakfast from leftover grilled fish and soft yovo mash. Eylan fetched the dishes, Likan danced in circles, and you worked ā stirring, plating, humming softly ā while the sun crept higher outside.
There were no grand declarations. No epiphanies. Just movement. Just being present. Just⦠trying. Because yes, you were his wife. But you were more than that. You were their mother. Their comfort. Their rhythm. Their constant. And no matter who stayed, who left, who forgot ā you would always be the one still here.
The stars were beginning to blink awake as the sea breeze curled through the village, quiet and cool. Dinner had come and gone. The children were already tucked away ā Eylan and Likan asleep in their nest, Kiriya dozing peacefully in her wrap against your chest. You sat close to the firepit outside Jake and Neytiriās mauri, cradling her gently, her small weight grounding you more than anything else could.
Kiri was plaiting Tukās hair beside you. Loāak leaned against a post nearby, Tsireya tucked against his side. Jake and Neytiri sat across the fire, quiet, eyes flickering between the flames and each other. It was Kiri who finally spoke. āNeteyam didnāt come back with you today?ā You shifted slightly. āHe said he needed some space. Just for a while.ā Loāak stilled. You didnāt see his jaw tighten, but Kiri did. Jake looked up. āHe told you that directly?ā
You nodded. āThis morning.ā There was a beat of silence. You were still trying to gauge the reactions when Neytiri stood slowly, brushing off her hands. āHe asked for space,ā she repeated, voice carefully neutral. āFrom what, exactly?ā You blinked. āFrom everything, I guess. The memories. The pressure. Me.ā You looked down at Kiriya. āHeās not running. He just⦠needs air.ā
āAir?ā Neytiri said sharply. āHe has all the air in the world here.ā Jake put a calming hand on her leg, gently. āMaāTiri.ā Loāak straightened up suddenly. āItās not just about the memories.ā Everyone looked at him. Kiriās eyes narrowed. āLoāak.ā But he ignored her. āHeās confused, yeah. But itās not just about that.ā āLoāakā¦ā Neytiri warned under her breath. He backed off instantly. āI just meanāitās complicated for him. You canāt judge him for needing time.ā You watched him, head tilting. āYou okay?ā He nodded too quickly. āYeah. Just tired.ā
You didnāt press it. The odd quiet that followed said more than any of them did. You felt it but couldnāt place it ā the edge in Neytiriās tone, the way Loāak wouldnāt quite look at you, the heaviness in Jakeās silence. Kiri shifted closer to you, her presence warm, protective. āYouāre all acting weird,ā you murmured, trying to joke. āIām the one who got asked for space. I should be the one brooding.ā
āYouāre handling it with grace,ā Jake said finally, offering a quiet smile. āWeāre proud of you for that.ā You met his eyes, then Neytiriās. Hers were guarded. Too guarded. Something was off. Still, you smile and looked down at your sleeping daughter. āHe just needs time. Thatās all.ā No one argued with you. But no one agreed either. And as the fire crackled quietly, your heart ached with the weight of all the things left unsaid ā because you were still standing in the light, and everyone else⦠already knew something you didnāt.
Three months later, your mornings had changed. No longer did they begin with tear-streaked cheeks or aching silence. They started now with purpose. With Eylan giggling as he tried to braid his own hair, with Likan waddling into your arms, babbling half-formed words, and with Kiriyaās soft, sleepy coos as she nursed while wrapped against your chest. You rose before the sun most days, not out of sorrow, but to reclaim yourself piece by piece.
You had begun to hunt again. The first time you picked up your bow, it felt foreign in your hands, the weight unfamiliar after moons of barely using it. But the moment your feet touched the forest floorāalone, quietāyou remembered. The strength in your arms, the rhythm of your breath, the way the jungle had always spoken to you. You didnāt go far the first time, but it was enough. Enough to remember who you were. Not just his mate. Not just a mother. But a warrior. A woman. A force.
Over time, you started to laugh again. It came slowly at firstāsoft smiles, half-hearted chuckles. But then, one afternoon, you met up with two old friends from your youth, both mothers now, and one cracked a joke about her toddler eating a bug. You laughed so hard you cried. You realized you missed yourself. And more importantly⦠you missed joy. Joy you havenāt felt since neteyam had his memories. You helped mend nets, wove baskets, joined other mothers in gathering sea fruits, and swam farther than you had since giving birth to Kiriya. You didnāt do it for Neteyam. You did it for your sons, for your daughter⦠and for you.
Jake and Neytiri loved you like their own. They helped when they couldāwatching the kids when you needed to gather, bringing fresh meat after long hunts, or simply sitting with you at night when you couldnāt sleep. They noticed your growing strength, the fire returning to your eyes, and they were proudāeven if it broke their hearts that it had to be this way.
They said nothing of Lina. They didnāt have to. The pain in Neytiriās eyes whenever she looked at her son, the way Jake sighed deeply whenever the topic of space came upāit was all there. They knew. And they hated it. But they also understood that Neteyam was lost in his own way, and anger wouldnāt guide him home. Patience might.
Loāak was the one who struggled the most. He couldnāt understand why his brotherāwho had once looked at you like you were the starsācouldnāt see you now. Loāak tried to hold his tongue, but it gnawed at him. Tsireya was the one who calmed him, reminding him that love canāt be forced, and healing isnāt always linear. Even Tuk knew. She had cried one night in your arms, confused and worried, asking if Neteyam would ever come back to being him. You didnāt have an answer.
The children were adjusting, each in their own way. Eylan, ever the oldest, had grown more protective, more aware growing into a man who mimicked his father without even knowing. He watched your face carefully when you thought he wasnāt looking, quietly stepping in to help with Likan or Kiriya when he sensed you needed a moment. Likan, wild-hearted and two, was all tangled curls and endless energy, bouncing between tantrums and giggles as he tried to mimic his big brotherās every move.
And Kiriya, just three months old, was beginning to show more of herself: tiny hands always reaching, eyes wide and curious, gurgling happily whenever you or her brothers came near. She loved being held against your chest, calmed instantly by your heartbeat. Together, the three of them were loud and loving and beautifully chaotic. They didnāt understand everything, but they were still happy. Still whole, because they had you.
Each night, after the children were asleep and the fire was low, you knelt and prayed to Eywa. For strength. For patience. For your mate to find his way backānot just to you, but to himself. You no longer waited by the door, hoping he would come. But you didnāt close it either. You lived. You thrived. You healed. Quietly, painfully, and steadily. And though you didnāt know it⦠Your light was still reaching him. Even from afar. Even in the arms of another. Something in him still remembered. And Eywa⦠was still listening.
Meanwhile with Neteyam, he spent his months with Lina, she always waited for him at night. Not coy. Not nervous. Prepared. Her hair was down, lips glossed with fruit oil, and her wrap ā if you could call it that ā barely covered anything. A soft green length of fabric tied at her hip with a loose knot that looked like a gentle breeze might undo it. Neteyam didnāt miss that. And she knew.
āLong day?ā she whispered one night, slipping behind him, arms curling around his waist, mouth pressing to the back of his neck. She was tall, taller than you, where you stood at Neteyamās chest, she stood just below his jaw. āYou can relax now, youāre with me.ā Her hands slid across his stomach, dipping low. He exhaled, chest tight. Sometimes, he didnāt stop her.
Her fingers found him hard, aching ā always from her touch, her scent, the way she pressed into his back like she belonged there. Sheād stroke him slowly, lips dragging along his jaw. Sometimes sheād murmur praise. Other times, sheād drop to her knees, hands sliding up his thighs ā but every time her lips brushed against him, the sound of footsteps, a call in the distance, a flicker of lightā Heād freeze. āWaitāā heād say, hands gripping her shoulders. āNot now.ā She always looked up, mouth flushed, eyes wide. āYouāre always say that.ā
āI know,ā he breathed. āI know.ā But he wouldnāt let her finish, wouldnāt let her cross that line. Even the night she climbed into his lap, completely bare under her shawl ā guiding his hands to her breasts, her thighs parted over his hips, rocking gently until he gasped against her mouth ā he stopped it. Her fingers had worked his tewng loose. Her tongue was in his mouth, his hands full of her heat and softness, his head spinningā Then a branch snapped outside. A childās laugh. A shadow. He gripped her hips, breathless. āNo. We shouldnāt.ā She groaned in frustration, but softened, kissing him again. āYou keep saying that.ā
āIām trying to do the right thing.ā
āBut you want me,ā she whispered, grinding down again, making him stutter. āDonāt lie.ā He didnāt. He never did. Because yes, he wanted her. She was beautiful. Willing. Soft and warm and slick against him. But every time they got close ā too close ā something pulled him back. Something inside or outside stopped him. And when he left her mauri, half-dressed and still aching, heād collapse onto his sleeping mat and try to breathe.
Thatās when the dreams began, not nightmares ā memories. You. Laughing beneath him in the forest, hair tangled, your moans stifled by his kiss. And just felt it, he loved kissing you in those dreams, loved dipping his head and pressing up on your skin. You on your back, guiding him in with a sigh like youād done so many times he just couldnāt remember them all yet. You crying with joy, his son in your arms. You pulling his hands to your growing belly. And the way you looked at him like he was your whole world. He started to wake up with a tightness in his chest. Not just lust. But longing. Heād press his palm over his heart like it could stop the ache. The confusion, the guilt. Because Lina felt good. Safe in a way. Familiar now. But when he touched her, it was never like that. The feeling of worship. Of oneness. That only lived in the dreams. And those dreams were growing stronger, more vivid, more real. Which meant, little by little⦠Lina was losing him.
he didnāt know when exactly the dreams had started exactly. Maybe it was after the night you looked at him with flushed cheeks, when the sunlight kissed your skin and your laughter echoed through that small space between you, when his fingers brushed yours and something deep in him shifted. Or maybe it was earlierāwhen Likan grabbed his tail one day on the beach toddling between his legs like he was so used to doing it. Maybe after he once again, stopped Lina from getting her desperate fuck. He wasnāt sure.
But now, they came more and more often. Vivid. Unshakable. Sometimes warm and quiet, like drifting through memories too soft to be real. Other times sharp, intenseādesire threading through his body until he woke in the dark, chest heaving, skin damp with sweat, painfully aware of the ache low in his belly.
At first, he thought they were just dreams. Imaginings. Wishes. But they kept happeningāso detailed, so real, down to the sounds of your voice, the way you smelled, the exact curl of Likanās fingers around his thumb. Eylan laughing, splashing in the river as you reached for him. You smiling up at Neteyam in the forest, eyes glowing with pride and love. The feeling of carrying you into your new mauri when you first arrived at Awaāatlu, both of you still dripping from the sea. The first night Likan was born, when you placed the baby in his arms and cried into his chest, or when you both introduced Eylan to his new baby brother.
He started writing them down, carving the details into the bark of a sea tree near the cliffs where no one would look. Just in case. He needed to be sure. Needed proof. He wanted to bring them to you someday, look you in the eye and ask, Was this real? Did I carry you across the ocean? Did we love like this, this deeply, this hard?
And then there were the other dreams. The ones he didnāt know what to do with. Your hands on his chest, your mouth on his skin. The soft groan he made when your hips rolled against his. The sound of your laughter tangled in heavy breathing, the press of his hand between your thighs as your voice broke on his name. Your body beneath him, around him. Sometimes playful. Sometimes desperate. Always you.
He would wake up with his heart racing, painfully hard, breath caught in his throat. It was impossible not to imagine what it had felt like in realityāyour warmth, the way you moaned when he whispered in your ear, how you gripped him when he pressed deep inside. Sometimes it left him quiet for hours. Other times, he found himself flushed, frustrated, pacing near the waterās edge, unsure if it was guilt or longing.
He never told Lina. How could he? Those dreams never had her in them. Only you. He still didnāt remember everything. He was still confused, overwhelmed, pulled in two directions. But each night when he curled beneath the woven mat in his quiet mauri, Eywa whispered a little more of his past back to him. Gently. Deliberately. Sometimes cruel in its intensity, sometimes kind in its simplicity.
The cove was half-shadowed, kissed in dusk light and the faint shimmer of tide pools. The waves lapped gently, rhythmic, soft like the hush of a whisper. Neteyam sat alone on a rock worn smooth by the sea, one leg bent, the other dangling just above the sand. His jaw was tight. His eyes distant, mind loud Lina found him there again, just as she always did, silent steps through the shallows, stopping just behind him. āYou always come here when your headās too loud,ā she said softly, voice just above the waves. āI like that.ā
He didnāt turn, but his shoulders didnāt tense. He was used to her now, her voice, her scent, her closeness. āIāve been dreaming again,ā he murmured, fingers drumming against his thigh. She took the invitation. Sat behind him on the rock, then leaned forward, pressing her chest to his back gently, her arms wrapping around his middle without hesitation. Her hands settled flat against his stomach. āAbout her?ā He nodded slowly.
āI see her sometimes. The boys. The baby⦠Kiriya.ā He said the name carefully, like it might shatter in his mouth. āItās not just flashes anymore. I can feel the emotion of the moment. Like I was really there.ā Lina rested her chin against his shoulder, her fingers tracing slow, calming shapes against his stomach. āDreams can be like that,ā she murmured. āVivid. Powerful. Especially when youāre searching for something ā for yourself. Maybe your mind is trying to fill in blanks with what your family told you.ā He was quiet.
She turned her head slightly, brushing her lips just behind his ear, soft, innocent. āBut here, now⦠none of it is confusion.ā He inhaled ā not sharply, but deep ā and Lina felt the moment shift. She took it. She moved to sit beside him, hips pressed to his, then slowly reached for his hand and brought it to her thigh, guiding his fingers to rest there. āYou werenāt dreaming when you kissed me,ā she said, voice velvet smooth. āOr when we touched.ā Her hand slid along his wrist, up his arm. āYou werenāt someone else. You were you. And you were relaxed. Real. With me.ā He looked at her now, eyes shadowed with conflict ā torn. Linaās smile was soft, never smug. She cupped his cheek with one hand, her thumb grazing his jaw.
āShe may have been your past, Neteyam,ā she whispered. āBut Iām your present.ā Then she leaned in and kissed him. It wasnāt shy not like the first few times. Her fingers slipped behind his neck, pulling him closer as she moved her body more fully into his lap. His hands hesitated ā one landing on her hip, the other still limp at his side ā but she coaxed him gently, slowly. Her touch was steady, persistent, like the tide eroding stone. āYou donāt have to force yourself to remember someone you donāt feel for anymore,ā she murmured against his lips. āWhat if sheās just part of the story others told you? What if you donāt fit there anymore?ā Neteyam looked at her ā really looked at her.
āI donāt know what fits,ā he admitted, low and raw. āI just⦠I donāt know.ā Lina kissed him again ā slower this time, her fingers tangled in his hair. āThen stop trying to remember who you were,ā she breathed. āLet yourself be who you are. Now.ā And for a while, he let her hold him like that. Let her mouth guide his. Let her arms wrap around his neck and pull him close, as if she could remake him from memoryās ashes into something brand new. And for now ā she had him. Right where she wanted him.
Linaās fingertips danced along the cords of muscle at the back of Neteyamās neck, so light it almost tickled. She leaned in again ā not to kiss him this time, but to let her forehead rest against his. Their breathing synced in the quiet. āYouāre always thinking too much,ā she murmured, voice barely audible. āEven now.ā His hands had stilled at her waist. She could feel the tension buzzing just under his skin. āI see it, you know,ā she whispered. āThe weight you carry. The questions. The guilt.ā She traced down his arm slowly, then took his hand in hers, guiding it back up, placing it over her heart. āBut here, with me⦠you donāt have to answer to anyone. You donāt have to know anything. You can just be.ā
His jaw clenched, throat tight. His fingers flexed against her chest, and for a moment she thought he might pull away. But he didnāt. Lina smiled gently and leaned back just enough to look at him fully. āYou told me about your dreams,ā she said, brushing his hair from his face. āHow they feel so real. So full. But those dreams⦠theyāre just pieces. Fragments.ā He blinked slowly, watching her lips more than her eyes.
āYou said they feel like memories, but maybe theyāre not. Maybe theyāre just your mind trying to give shape to something you lost.ā Her fingers slid up under the leather strap across his shoulder, curling against his collarbone. She leaned in again, this time pressing a kiss to his cheek, then the edge of his jaw. Neteyam exhaled hard through his nose, but his hands came down to her thighs, steadying her in place. Linaās voice softened, velvet sweet. āBut this?ā She guided his hands again ā down her back, over the curve of her hips ā slowly rocking forward so he could feel the press of her body. āThis is real. This moment. Me.ā
Neteyam groaned under his breath, jaw tightening, eyes fluttering shut for a second before he opened them again. āItās not that simple,ā he said, voice rough. āWhy not?ā She nuzzled against his neck. āBecause I feel like Iām losing my mind.ā
āYouāre not,ā she whispered. āYouāre waking up in a life you donāt remember. A mate you donāt recognize. Children who look at you like youāre someone youāre not. Thatās not your fault.ā She felt him tense under her, so she kissed the side of his neck, slow and soft. āYou didnāt choose this, Neteyam.ā
āI didnāt choose you either,ā he said quietly. That made her pause. Not because it hurt ā but because it told her she needed to move more carefully. So she gave a soft laugh ā not mocking, but light, breezy. āNo,ā she agreed. āBut sometimes Eywa puts the right person in your path at the right time. Someone who sees you. Who gives you space to breathe.ā Her hands cupped his face gently now. āIām not asking you to choose me. Iām just here. With you. Right now.ā
His eyes flicked down ā to her mouth, her neck, the way her chest rose and fell close to his. His hands were still on her thighs, but one began to trail upward slowly, as if he were testing what felt familiar. Or maybe⦠what felt good. Lina closed the distance again, this time kissing him with more intent ā a slow burn, coaxing his mouth open with hers, one hand sliding down his chest and resting low on his stomach. She didnāt push further. Not yet. She just let the kiss carry the weight, the confusion, the need. And when he didnāt stop her, when he kissed her back and let his hands roam, when his grip tightened and his mouth opened wider ā she knew. He was spiraling. Floating somewhere between desire and doubt. Between what used to be and what he didnāt remember. So she kissed him deeper, then slower. Then softer.
When they broke apart, breathless and flushed, she smiled and leaned her forehead against his again. Her fingers grazed his chest. āYou donāt have to feel bad,ā she murmured. āYouāre allowed to want something that feels good. That feels real.ā He didnāt answer. Just stared at the ground over her shoulder, jaw taut, hands still trembling on her body. āYouāre not the same man you were before,ā Lina whispered. āYou donāt have to force yourself to go back to someone you donāt know. Maybe⦠Eywa gave you a second chance. A clean start.ā Neteyam said nothing. But he didnāt pull away either.
And that was enough for her. Because as far as Lina was concerned ā she already had her foot in the door. And every time he let her touch him, let her pull him in, let her speak softly into the cracks in his memory ā He was already choosing her. Even if he didnāt know it yet.
His lips were still warm against hers. Lina didnāt move at first ā didnāt dare. Her fingers lingered on his chest where sheād pulled him to her, heart thudding like a war drum in her ears. She kept her eyes on his mouth; breath caught in her throat like sheād swallowed fire. That kiss was real. That was progress. Slowly, she let out a trembling breath and smiled up at him, soft and sweet, playing the part, sheād carved out so perfectly.
āYou always taste like the sea,ā she whispered, voice low. āEven after all this time.ā Her thumb dragged gently along his jawline, a featherlight touch meant to make him stay. To keep him close. Hers. Neteyamās eyes flickeredāuncertainty warring with something else. Want. Or confusion. Maybe both, she didnāt care which. Because he hadnāt stopped her. That was enough.
She shifted closer, knees pressing against his hips. Her fingers slipped from his jaw to the cords of muscle along his throat, brushing softly, tracing. āYou donāt have to say anything,ā she murmured. āI know what it feels like to be lost. You donāt owe anyone your peace.ā He swallowed but didnāt answer. Just watched her. Watched the way her hands moved. The way her voice soothed. The way she filled the silence. Lina leaned in, nose brushing his. āLet me be that peace,ā she whispered.
She had worked too hard for this, too long. From the moment she saw him step out off his ikran, a baby in his arms and war in his shoulders, she knew. She felt it. The weight of who he was ā who he used to be. And she envied it. All of it. The love. The family. The way his mate clung to him like gravity. He never noticed her back then. Not really. But she noticed everything. She started helping with hunts she didnāt care about. Took training sessions near the Sullys. She gave him fruit, offered quiet jokes, asked him questions no one else did ā just to hear him speak.
But his eyes always found their way back to her. The mate. The mother. So she stepped back. Smiled politely. Waited. Until the sky burned and blood soaked the sand, and suddenly, Eywa delivered him straight to her ā broken, blank, and so beautifully lost. She had thanked the Great Mother that night. And every night since. Linaās hand slid beneath the braid resting on his collarbone, fingertips brushing the skin just under the hollow of his throat. āI donāt ask you to be anything,ā she said softly, lips brushing his cheek. āI donāt ask you to remember. I only ask you to feel whatās right in front of you.ā
Her hand guided his again, this time to her hip, letting it rest there, just above the bone. His fingers twitched against her skin, but he didnāt pull away. She smiled. āYouāre always tense around them,ā she murmured. āLike youāre failing some invisible test. But with me⦠I see you breathe again.ā She leaned in, barely touching her lips to his ear. āYou feel like you when youāre with me.ā And he did. She made sure of that. She never questioned him. Never pushed. She laughed at everything he said. She let him lead even when he didnāt know where he was going. She was patient. Attentive. Always near but never too much. She never even brought up the mate. Or the children. Not unless he did. And even then, only with a quiet smile and understanding eyes. The kind that said itās okay that you donāt love them. You donāt have to.
Because eventually⦠He wouldnāt go back. Eventually, he would stop dreaming of a woman he didnāt recognize and realize how easy it was to just let her go. Eventually, he would choose the calm over the storm. And she would be there. Waiting, still smiling, still soft and still his.
Neteyam began spending more time outside during the day, often seated in the sun with Kiri or helping Jake mend a fishing net, eyes following the sway of the sea in silence. He spoke more now ā slowly, cautiously ā as if testing the weight of his voice in old rhythms. The boys would come up to him sometimes. Eylan offering him small gifts, Likan tugging at his tail to get attention. He didnāt always know how to respond, but he didnāt back away.
That morning, you caught him holding Kiriya again ā this time with her tiny fingers wrapped tightly around his braid as she gurgled happily in his arms. He didnāt realize you were watching. But he smiled. The dreams were changing him. Heād begun writing them down ā scratching notes into thin leaf parchment when he woke, tracing the edges of memory with almost frantic curiosity. He saw your face in all of them. Your laughter. Your tears. The sound of your voice calling him ātƬyawn.ā
And lately, heād been seeing Loāak too, laughing with him, hunting beside him, helping deliver Eylan, pulling him from danger. The images werenāt clear, but the feeling was. Love. Loyalty. Trust. He needed to talk to someone. So that night, he found Loāak sitting on the rocks near the shore, watching the tide pull against the reef. āYou got a minute?ā Neteyam asked, voice rough from use. Loāak glanced over. āYeah, Whatsup bro?ā They sat together in the moonlight, the ocean lapping at their feet. For a long time, Neteyam said nothing. Then, āI keep dreaming of you.ā Loāak blinked. āUh⦠thanks?ā
āNo,ā Neteyam huffed a laugh. āNot like that, skxawng. I mean⦠we were close. Werenāt we?ā Loāakās smile faded into something soft. āYeah. You are my brother. My best friend.ā There was silence between them again, warm and heavy. Neteyam nodded slowly. āI feel it. Even if I donāt remember it all yet. I feel like I trusted you more than anyone.ā
āBesides your wife, you did,ā Loāak said. āYou still can.ā Neteyam rubbed a hand over his face. āEverythingās so loud lately. The dreams wonāt stop. And every time I look at herāā His voice faltered, but Loāak knew who he meant. āItās like⦠my body remembers even if my head canāt.ā Loāak swallowed, choosing his next words carefully. āYou donāt have to force anything. But if you feel it⦠follow that.ā Neteyam looked at him, searching. āYou think Iām a terrible person?ā
āNo,ā Loāak said without hesitation. āI think youāre lost. But youāre finding your way back.ā Neteyam exhaled, the corners of his mouth twitching up. āI missed you.ā Loāak grinned. āI missed you more.ā
But further back, hidden in the shadow of the reef wall, Lina stood ā her back pressed against the stone, breath caught in her throat. She hadnāt meant to follow him, not at first. But when she saw him walking toward Loāak, toward his family, something gnawed inside her. And when she heard what he said ā that he dreamed of them, felt something for them, missed them and that gnawing turned to fear. No. No! She had worked too hard to lose him now.
She had touched him, claimed pieces of him, given him herself in every way he would allow ā all to be the one he reached for in the darkness. She couldnāt compete with dreams. Not if he started believing they were real. And so, as the brothers laughed quietly under the stars, Lina stepped back into the shadows ā her smile gone, her hands curling into fists. If he was starting to remember who he was⦠Then she had to remind him who he could be. With her.
The lanternlight inside Linaās mauri flickered low, casting her face in a warm, amber glow. Outside, the reef was quiet, only the occasional lap of water against stone and the breeze threading through the woven walls. Neteyam stood near the entrance, silent for a long while. He shouldnāt have come. He knew that. But her voice had pulled him in again, soft and aching when sheād said, āCan we talk?ā
Now he stood in the hush of her space, tense and unsure. She hadnāt touched him yet ā not like she usually did. She just sat there, on the mat, her knees drawn to her chest, her head resting lightly against them. āYou didnāt come yesterday,ā she said quietly. His brow twitched. āI had a lot on my mind.ā
āI noticed,ā she said, her voice tight. āYouāve been⦠different.ā He didnāt answer. She glanced up at him ā eyes glistening. āI keep thinking I did something wrong.ā Neteyam exhaled. āYou didnāt.ā
āThen why donāt you want me anymore?ā He flinched. Lina dropped her gaze, fingers curling against her legs. āYou come here, but you donāt touch me like before. You donāt even look at me the same way.ā
āI never meant to hurt you,ā he murmured. āIām justāā she whispered cutting him off. āI know. Confusedā A shaky breath escaped her lips. āBut⦠you kissed me, Neteyam. You held me like I mattered. And IāI thought that meant something.ā
āIt did,ā he said quietly. āThen why do I feel like Iām losing you?ā He stepped forward, uneasy. āYouāre not.ā But she shook her head, blinking fast. āYou are slipping away, and I can feel it.ā A tear slid down her cheek, and she looked at him with trembling lips. āWhat did I do wrong? Why canāt I be enough?ā Neteyamās chest ached. He didnāt have an answer. His mind was too full ā dreams, flashes of laughter, touches he couldnāt place, names that held weight even without memory. Lina leaned forward slowly, crawling toward him on her knees, eyes wide, wet. āDo you still want me?ā she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. āOr was I just⦠something to hold while you were lost?ā
āLinaāā
āBecause I was there,ā she said. āI didnāt ask for anything. I didnāt push. I just stayed. I listened. I held you. And nowā¦ā She reached for his hand. āYou wonāt even look at me.ā
He looked down at her hand in his ā warm, trembling. Her fingers threaded with his, then slowly, she guided his palm up to her shoulder, pressing his hand there like she was pleading with her skin. āTouch me like you did before,ā she whispered. āLike I matter to you. Even if itās just for tonight.ā His fingers twitched.
She moved closer, lifting his hand to her collarbone now, guiding his touch as if it were his idea. Her breath hitched when his thumb brushed her neck. āThere,ā she said. āDo you feel that?ā He swallowed. āThatās me,ā she murmured. āStill here. Still wanting you.ā Her hands slid to his waist, her head tilted, eyes searching his face. āLet me have this. Let me keep something before it all disappears.ā His heart pounded. She rose slightly onto her knees, her chest pressed to his, her breath warm on his lips. Her hands curled around his shoulders, pulling him gently, softly, until his forehead was resting against hers.
āI need you,ā she whispered. āI need us.ā His eyes closed for a moment, the weight of her words curling around him like vines. Guilt. Sadness. Confusion. His body responded ā it always did ā but his mind was a storm. And then, like always⦠a noise outside. Children giggling, passing by. A familiar laugh in the distance ā his brotherās. Neteyam tensed. He stepped back slowly, his breathing unsteady. Her hands slipped from his skin, her face falling. āWhy?ā she asked, voice breaking. āWhy do you always pull away?ā
He didnāt answer. He just looked at her, gaze heavy with something she couldnāt quite decipher ā sorrow, maybe. Or guilt. Or both. Then he turned and left. And she stayed there, staring at the doorway like it betrayed her. But in her chest, something twisted. If soft didnāt work⦠maybe it was time for something harder. Because she was not going to lose him. Not after everything.
The stars blinked above him as Neteyam walked the short distance from Linaās mauri to the Sullyās. His hands were still warm from her touch, but his heart felt heavier than it had when he walked in. He hadnāt said anything on the way out. He never really did. The flicker of torchlight reached him first ā then the sound of laughter, childrenās voices, and the smell of grilled fish and roasted sea roots drifting through the humid evening air, home. He stopped at the edge of the mauri, just out of sight, watching.
Jake sat cross-legged with Tuk and Eylan, cutting bits of fish for both of them while they chattered excitedly. Neytiri was nearby, laughing softly at something Loāak had said while Kiri fed Likan, who squirmed and babbled with his usual endless energy. You sat to the side with baby Kiriya in your lap, bouncing her gently while you tried to eat with your free hand, the sling now loosened. Her little head bobbed as she cooed and reached for a piece of your braid.
The space was warm and full, lively and familiar. It felt like something he didnāt realize heād been missing. Then Tuk spotted him. āNeteyam!ā she chirped, waving hard with both arms like her life depended on it. Everyone turned. And youāyour head snapped up, eyes meeting his with that small, soft smile that hadnāt changed, even through all of it. He stepped in slowly. Loāak shifted over without a word, patting the space between him and Eylan. āYouāre late,ā Jake teased. āI didnāt know I was invited,ā Neteyam replied lightly, settling down between his brother and son. āYou always are,ā Neytiri said, smiling warmly at him.
Eylan wasted no time crawling into his lap, talking a mile a minute about the reef games he played with his friends and how he won twice but only because one of the boys cheated once and tried to pull his tail underwater. Neteyam listened. Really listened. His arm curled around the boy instinctively, his smile more genuine than it had been all day. Kiriya squealed from your lap; eyes locked on her big brother now curled in her fatherās arms. Her little hands wiggled excitedly in the air. āSheās been very chatty today,ā you said softly, brushing a hand over her head.
āLike you?ā he replied before he could think twice. Your eyes flicked to his and your open your mouth in offense playfully, the words surprised even him. āWas that an insult? You saying I talk to much?ā You laugh and so did he, a real chuckle. Then Loāak leaned in, smirking. āWe were just talking about the clan gathering.ā
āThe big one?ā Neteyam asked, eyes going to Jake. Jake nodded. āFew weeks. All the coastal villages are coming in for it. Singing, dancing, food ā even a few races and competitions.ā You grinned. āEylan is already planning what heās going to wear. And Iām thinking weāll leave Kiriya and Likan with a sitter so we can all actually enjoy it.ā Neteyam blinked. āA sitter?ā You nodded and told him about a friend of Ronalās who volunteered to watch them. āShe agreed to watch them,ā you said. āSo the family can go.ā
āSheās kind,ā Neytiri added, āand Likan already loves her.ā Neteyam looked toward Likan, who was now face-first in Kiriās lap, pretending to be a sea creature while she dramatically scolded him for drooling on her skirt. Everyone laughed. Neteyam looked down at Eylan still cuddled into his chest. The world felt right for a moment. Lighter.
āI remember this,ā he murmured softly. āThis feeling,ā he said more clearly. āThis noise. The way everyone talks over each other. Itās warm. I remember that.ā Loāak smiled at him, wide and proud. āYou always said it drove you crazy.ā
āBut I liked it,ā Neteyam replied. Eylan looked up. āYou remember us, sempu?ā Neteyam hesitated. He didnāt want to lie. āNot fully. But I dream about you. A lot.ā Eylanās eyes lit up. āWhat do I do in your dreams?ā
āYou cry a lot,ā Neteyam teased, nudging him with a grin. Eylan gasped. āI do not!ā Everyone burst out laughing. Likan shouted something unintelligible and flailed in agreement, as if he understood everything and Kiriya squealed again, bouncing in your lap. For the first time in weeks, Neteyam laughed ā fully. Loud and real. He leaned into his brother, who bumped shoulders with him. You looked down at your baby, then at your boys, your mate sitting there like he always belonged, and you smiled.
Dinner had ended with the warm hum of laughter still lingering in the air, the scent of smoked fish and sea root still clinging to everyoneās fingers and hair. Youād barely noticed how late it had gotten until Tuk yawned with a dramatic stretch, and Eylan slumped more into Neteyamās side, rubbing his eyes and murmuring sleepily. Likan was already asleep in Kiriās lap, his little hand still clutching a half-eaten piece of roasted yovo fruit. Kiriya lay against your chest, blinking slowly from the sling, her fists curling into your wrap like she didnāt want the night to end. You rose slowly, brushing the side of her cheek. āAlright, bedtime,ā you murmured. Neteyam was already shifting, carefully gathering Eylan into his arms. The boy sighed, nestling in with a contented little hum.
āI can get Likan,ā he said, glancing toward Kiri. She smiled softly and handed over the sleeping toddler. āHeās heavier when heās asleep. Good luck.ā Neteyam gave a little huff under his breath and took him carefully, one arm under Likanās bottom, the other supporting his back. āWhen did they get so big?ā he muttered. āYouāve been gone a while,ā Kiri said gently, then turned to help Neytiri tidy the dinner space.
With the baby against your chest and the boys in his arms, the two of you left the Sully mauri and padded softly across the sand toward your own. The stars blinked above, and the soft crash of waves against the reef formed a lullaby in the dark. Your home was quiet, warm. The fire pit glowed low with embers, just enough light to see by. Neteyam crouched and carefully lowered Likan onto the sleeping mat, then Eylan, who stirred immediately with a dramatic groan.
āI donāt wanna sleep,ā Eylan mumbled. āYouāre already sleeping, itan,ā Neteyam said dryly, nudging him. āAm not,ā came the sulky reply. āIāll settle Kiriya,ā you murmured, already tugging at the ties of her sling, her soft breath hot against your skin. āIf you settle the boysā?ā
āDone,ā Neteyam said. It was not done. Eylan rolled onto his side, bumped into Likan, and immediately yelped, āHeās kicking me!ā Likan sat up with a startled cry, wide-eyed and completely disoriented. āNo kicking! No!ā You sighed. āGreat. Now theyāre both up.ā Neteyam rubbed his face. āI jinxed it.ā
āClearly.ā The next half hour was a blur of soothing and shifting. Eylan wanted a different pillow ā ānot that one, the soft one!ā and Likan kept scooting off the mat to look for a rock he swore he lost during dinner. You nursed Kiriya while walking gently in a slow loop, whispering soft lullabies, but she squirmed and whimpered, unsettled. āI think sheās overtired,ā you murmured. āShe gets that from you,ā Neteyam called quietly from the mat. You shot him a look and he grinned.
Eventually, Eylan conked out again, curled around one of the large shell-shaped pillows. Likan was sprawled across Neteyamās chest, one tiny hand curled against his fatherās collarbone, breathing slow and deep. And Kiriya⦠well, she was still fussing. You sat on the edge of the mat, nursing her again, hoping this time it would soothe her to sleep. Neteyam turned his head where he lay on his back, looking at you through half-lidded eyes. āYou make that look so easy,ā he said softly. You huffed a tired laugh. āI donāt think my back would agree.ā
āShe looks so much like you when sheās angry,ā he whispered. āShe looks like you,ā you corrected, brushing a finger down her nose. Neteyamās voice dropped lower, warmer. āYouāre really beautiful when you do that, you know.ā Your eyes flicked to his. āFeeding her,ā he added. āYou look strong. Like a mother. Like a wife.ā You felt your cheeks flush, heat crawling up your neck. āIāve been doing it for months.ā
āI know.ā His gaze lingered on your chest for a moment longer before flicking back up to your eyes. āStill.ā You cleared your throat. āYou should get up. Youāll fall asleep like that.ā He smiled rubbing a hand on Likanās back āI might.ā
āYou havenāt slept here in months.ā He looked down at the cozy chaos beneath him ā soft woven blankets, the seashell pillows, Likan drooling slightly on his chest. āItās nice,ā he said quietly. āYou made this warm. Safe.ā You smiled, brushing Kiriyaās cheek. āThatās what a home is supposed to be.ā He didnāt answer, but he didnāt move either. His hand rested lightly on Likanās back, rising and falling with the toddlerās breath. āYouāre good at this,ā you said softly, surprising yourself. āAt what?ā
āBeing a father. Even if you donāt remember how you got here⦠you belong here.ā He turned his face toward you again. āYou really think so?ā You nod, āI do.ā The fire popped gently. You switched Kiriya to the other side, and Neteyamās eyes flicked toward your chest again before quickly looking away. āYou know,ā he said after a pause, āsome of those pictures we saw⦠you looked downright dangerous.ā You laughed under your breath. āDangerous? You were looking at pictures again?ā
āIn a good way. Like⦠you knew exactly what you were doing.ā
āI did,ā you teased. āYou liked that.ā
āI do like that.ā You glanced over. āDonāt flirt with me while Iām breastfeeding.ā
āWhy not?ā he said, voice a little lower. āYouāre still hot.ā You laughed again, quieter this time, trying not to jostle the baby. āI canāt tell if youāre joking.ā
āNeither can I.ā There was a pause. Then, softer: āBut I think I mean it.ā And when Kiriya finally drifted off against your chest, her little lips still puckered, Neteyam reached out and adjusted the blanket around your shoulder, fingers brushing the skin just beneath your collarbone. āThank you for this,ā he whispered. You met his eyes, voice almost too soft to hear. āYouāre welcome home.ā The mauri was quiet, soft with the hush of the ocean beyond its walls and the occasional murmur of sleeping children shifting in their dreams. But Neteyam lay wide awake, still and silent, his arms at his sides, his head turned slightly toward you.
You were close, closer than you had been in months. Eylan lay between you both, curled into his fatherās side, one hand resting over Neteyamās chest. Likan sprawled in his usual starfish pattern across the bottom of the mat, and Kiriya had been swaddled and tucked close to your chest earlier. But now, it was the middle of the night. The stars outside had shifted overhead. And Kiriya stirred, giving a soft, sleepy whimper. You woke immediately ā that motherās instinct still razor sharp. You sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes, careful not to jostle Eylan. Kiriya let out a soft protest again, louder this time, and you pulled her into your arms, guiding her to nurse as naturally as you breathed. Neteyam didnāt move. But he wasnāt asleep. His voice came softly, almost hesitantly, like he was testing the darkness.
āIf someone⦠forgot their whole life,ā he said, āand started over⦠are they still responsible for what they do when they donāt remember who they were?ā You blinked at the question, caught off guard. āYouāre awake?ā Kiriya suckled quietly, your hand stroking her soft downy hair. āThatās a strange thing to ask,ā you said gently. āI know.ā You could hear the tension in his voice ā low and conflicted, almost uncertain. āWhy are you asking?ā
āItās justā¦ā he paused. āWhat if⦠they did something they wouldnāt have done before? Something that⦠wasnāt fair to the people who love them?ā Your heart tightened. Your fingers stilled where they stroked the babyās back. The air felt thicker now. In the dark, you couldnāt see him. But you knew. You knew what this was. āNeteyam,ā you said quietly, ādid you do something?ā He didnāt answer right away. You reached out, careful not to wake Eylan, and your fingers brushed across your sonās curls before finding the edge of Neteyamās arm ā warm, steady, trembling slightly. āI didnāt know who I was,ā he said finally, barely a whisper. āBut that doesnāt mean I didnāt⦠feel. I still felt things. Wanting to be wanted. To feel like I mattered to someone.ā
āAnd now?ā He exhaled shakily. āNow I remember more every day. And I feel like Iām⦠two different people trying to live in one skin. The man who forgot, and the man whoās starting to come back.ā Your hand stayed there, on his arm, fingers tightening just slightly. āAnd both of them are hurting.ā He swallowed. You heard it. āI didnāt mean to hurt you.ā You whisper, āI know.ā
āI think I already did,ā he whispered. You were silent for a long moment, and Kiriya stirred again in your arms, unlatching briefly before shifting and settling once more. You brushed her cheek and whispered, āSheās hungry again. She does that. Doesnāt like to be alone.ā
āI think I understand that.ā You looked at where you knew he lay. āI donāt need a perfect version of you, Neteyam. Just the one who tries.ā He was quiet, but your fingers still felt his ā brushing lightly over your knuckles now, just barely. āI donāt want to be lost anymore,ā he said. You nodded. āThen come back. Piece by piece. Iāll wait.ā And there was something in his next breath ā a sound halfway between a sigh and a sob, so soft it barely made it to you. You didnāt say more.
You stayed there, in the dark, with the baby nestled against you, your fingers resting against the edge of his hand across Eylanās little head. And somehow, even with all that had happened ā the heartbreak, the confusion, the silence ā it felt like you were finding your way again. In the dark, but still together.
The rain had slowed outside, just a gentle patter on the leaves now, but inside the mauri, it was still warm with your shared breath and the soft sounds of your sleeping children. Neteyam hadnāt moved since your conversation started. Likan was curled up on his chest, Eylan pressed into his side, and Kiriya was snoozing in your arms. You let a beat pass. Then you whispered, not quite able to let it go, āIs that all you did with her?ā He blinked slowly. āā¦You meanāā
āYes, Neteyam,ā you cut in, voice hushed but clearly not done. āBecause Iāve been sitting here, holding our daughter, who literally looks like a smaller, grumpier version of you, and wondering how far another woman got with my mate while I was leaking milk and chasing toddlers.ā Neteyam groaned softly, covering his face with his free hand. āYou really want to do this now?ā
āYes.ā He peeked out between his fingers at you. āā¦Youāre serious?ā You narrowed your eyes. āDead serious.ā He sighed, careful not to jostle Likan. āShe⦠tried things.ā You raised a brow. āShe kissed me. Obviously.ā
āObviously,ā you muttered, nose wrinkling. āAnd, uh⦠she touched me.ā His ears twitched slightly in embarrassment. You waited, blinking slowly. āTouched you how, exactly?ā He gave you a long look. You didnāt blink. Neteyam cleared his throat. āWith her hand.ā You blinked again. āAnd?ā you pressed, biting back a smirk. He gave a half-hearted shrug, lips twitching. āShe tried to go down on me. Like⦠a few times.ā You gave him a scandalized look, eyes adjusting to the dark. āShe was veryāforward,ā he muttered quickly. āI never let her. But her hand⦠got there a couple times.ā
You just stared at him and then shook your head. āCouple times, he says. Neteyam, a couple is two.ā He looked at the ceiling like it held answers. āIt was more than two.ā You let out a soft snort. āI should throw this baby blanket at you.ā He gave you a sheepish grin. āPlease donāt. Likan might wake up. And Iām currently pinned under his drool.ā You stared at him, lips twitching despite yourself. Then your voice turned teasing, but it held an edge. āSo? Was she good at it?ā
He choked. āWhat?ā You tilted your head. āIām asking. Was she good with her hands?ā Neteyam looked like he wanted Eywa to strike him down where he lay. āIāI mean. It was⦠fine.ā
āFine?ā He winced. āOkay, good. Whatever. It felt good. Iām not made of stone.ā You leaned closer, voice lower. āBetter than me?ā He looked horrified. āWhy would you ask me that?ā
āBecause Iām your wife,ā you said, barely containing your laughter, āand if another woman had your favorite parts in her hands, I want to know if she did it right.ā He groaned again. āItās like youāre trying to kill me.ā You shrugged, totally unfazed. āWas she better?ā
āNo,ā he said without thinking. Then added, āLikeāI mean I donāt fully remember everything with you, but I know how it felt with you. That connection. The trust. The way we⦠moved together. Thatās not something you just replace.ā You smiled a little, then asked slyly, āDid she smell good?ā Neteyam paused. āWhat is this?ā
āAnswer the question.ā He rubbed a hand over his face. āShe smelled like seaweed and flower oil.ā You wrinkled your nose. āI knew it. That woman bathes in crushed petals like sheās trying to lure in unsuspecting men.ā Neteyam chuckled softly. āYou were always so territorial.ā You shrugged. āYes, but Iām more protective. Thereās a difference.ā
āUh-huh,ā he said, lips twitching. āWas she softer than me?ā His eyes slid over to you, finally catching on to the playful, wicked glint in your gaze. āYouāre soft and strong. Best of both.ā
āWas she prettier?ā
āNo.ā
āCurvier?ā Neteyam smiled. āNo one fits against me like you do.ā You paused, surprised by how much that made your heart skip. Then, in a quiet moment, you asked, āDid you want her?ā
He went still. His gaze dropped to your daughter, curled on your chest. To your hand resting on the mat near his. And finally, to your face. āā¦No,ā he said. āI was confused. Lost. And she was there. But I didnāt want her. Not like I want you.ā The silence that followed was full of everything unspoken, all the weight of grief, memory, love, and longing. You exhaled. āOkay.ā
āOkay?ā he echoed softly. You nodded. āWeāll figure it out.ā He looked at you a moment longer, then brushed a knuckle across Likanās back. āYouāre incredible, you know that?ā You smirked. āYeah, well. Your memory may be slow, but your taste is still perfect.ā Neteyam laughed under his breath, and for the first time in ages, it felt like home.
The mornings felt different now. For the first time in what felt like seasons, Neteyam was back in the mauri where he belonged ā where you and the children had waited for him without ever stopping. His things had been moved quietly during the early hours of his return, his arm brushing yours as he helped fold blankets, tuck them into corners, smooth over sleeping mats. The space had always been his, and yet now he treated it like a sacred gift he was trying to earn back every day.
He hadnāt gone to Lina since you told him not to ā since he agreed not to. He hadnāt even looked in her direction when he passed the outer reefs. Every time guilt threatened to creep up his spine, he reminded himself that he was here because of you. Because you still loved him, still prayed for him, even when heād forgotten everything.
He remembered more now ā slowly, in pieces. The way you used to curl into his chest at night. The way Eylan would cling to his shoulders when he was younger, pressing his cheek into Neteyamās neck. How Likan used to demand to ride on his shoulders, yelling āUp! Up!ā with a chubby little hand tugging his braids. And how Kiriyaās lips curled the tiniest bit when she nursed, like she was smiling up at you in her own way.
He apologized over and over. Quietly, loudly, sometimes with tears in his eyes, sometimes with flowers braided into your hair when he thought words werenāt enough. He hadnāt slept with Lina ā but it didnāt make what happened disappear. And he didnāt expect your forgiveness quickly. He just wanted the chance to prove he was worthy of it. You let him. Slowly. On your terms.
He swept the floors of the mauri. Took over the task of bathing the boys in the lagoon when they were fighting so you didnāt have to. Cooked badly ā and burned things often ā but he kept trying. Kiri joked once that he was trying to atone through labor, and Neteyam didnāt even deny it.
One afternoon, a few days into his return, Loāak came by to help him fix a crooked support beam that held up the side of the roof. The boys were napping after an afternoon of chasing each other in the sun, Kiriya nestled against your chest while you rested in the shade nearby. āHold this steady,ā Neteyam said, gripping the thick vine and pulling it taut while Loāak looped it around. Loāak grunted. āYou got heavier since the war, bro. Youāre not fun to lift anymore.ā
āYou got scrawnier,ā Neteyam shot back, smirking. Loāak snorted. āYou wish.ā They worked in easy silence for a bit, sweat collecting at their temples, the weight of the sun warm but not oppressive. Then Neteyam asked casually ā too casually ā āSo⦠you and my mate. You kissed her?ā Loāak froze like someone had poured cold water down his spine. āWhat?ā Neteyam didnāt look at him right away. He was focused on tying a knot. āShe told me. Said it happened the night before I woke up.ā
āYouāsheāoh my Eywa.ā Loāak dropped the cord. āBro, I didnāt mean toāshe was crying, I wasāNeteyam I wasnāt even trying toāIām sorry.ā Neteyam let the silence stretch. Then: āWas it⦠passionate?ā
āBro!ā You, overhearing from the shade, couldnāt stop the snort that slipped from your nose. Loāak looked like he wanted to fling himself off the reef. āI mean I justāā Neteyamās mouth twitched, trying to keep a straight face. āShould I be worried?ā
Loāak waved his hands wildly. āThere was no tongue, okay?! It was likeāa sad, forehead-touchy kind of thing, and then we kissed but likeāyour wife kisses with emotion, okay?! I wasnāt trying to seduce herāā Neteyam was laughing now. Fully, openly. Loāak narrowed his eyes. āYouāre the worst.ā
āIām serious,ā Neteyam said between laughs. āWas it good?ā Loāak turned to you. āAre you hearing this madness?ā You were howling now, arms crossed as Kiriya snoozed peacefully, unfazed by her familyās antics. āIām just saying,ā Neteyam added, wiping his face, āif my brother kissed my wife, I at least want to know how I rank.ā Loāak pointed at him. āYou ranked. I promise. I almost got punched by guilt mid-kiss. Itās you, bro. Itās always been you.ā
Neteyamās expression softened at that. He nodded once, serious again. āI know. Itās okay. I just⦠I needed to hear it.ā Loāak tilted his head. āAre we⦠cool?ā Neteyam clapped a hand on his shoulder. āYou raised my kids with her. Helped her when I was gone, kept them safe. Iām not just cool with youāI owe you.ā
Loāak smiled. āJust donāt make me babysit all three at once again. I still have nightmares.ā You grinned, watching the two brothers laugh again. The ache in your chest softened. This was what youād missed. What had been missing. And slowly, piece by piece, the bonds were stitching back together.
The dreams were getting worse. Or⦠better, depending on perspective. But for Neteyam, waking up next to you every morning while you slept peacefullyāwith your curves tucked beneath soft cloth, your breath warm and even, and Kiriya cooing quietly against your chestāwas becoming increasingly difficult. Not because he didnāt want to be there. But because he really wanted to be there.
The dreams started off soft, tender⦠sweet flashes of you and him tangled in the glowing forest under a curtain of bioluminescent vines, your skin glowing, your laugh echoing in his ears as you kissed his cheeks, his mouth, his neck. But then they escalated. Faster than he was prepared for.
Now they were⦠loud. In every sense. They were full-body, flushed-skin, back-arching, tweng-tangling flashes that left him panting awake in the dark, his hands fisted in the bedding, his chest heaving, and a very obvious situation in his lap that he had to hide quickly before Eylan or Likan stirred beside him. He thought cold water would help. He was wrong.
So, every morning, right as the first rays of dawn touched the edge of the reef, Neteyam would sneak off into the waves, slipping into the water with a hiss through his teeth, determined to let the icy ocean chase the heat from his blood. It never worked. And when he came back in, shivering, teeth chattering slightly, you always gave him the same look. This day was no different. You blinked awake slowly, brushing a hand over Kiriyaās soft little back where she lay snuggled against your chest, her lips still puckered from nursing. Then you caught sight of him, dripping wet, shoulders hunched slightly, arms wrapped around himself as he tried to warm up. You blinked again. Then smirked. āAnother swim, mighty warrior?ā He cleared his throat, doing his best to look casual. āJust clearing my head.ā
āSure.ā You sat up slightly, brushing Kiriyaās curls from her cheek, her sleepy little eyes barely cracking open. āDid the ocean help, or just make your balls disappear?ā Neteyam choked, whipping around. āSkxawng!ā You were laughing before you could stop yourself, your shoulders shaking, one hand trying to cover your mouth. Neteyam was pink around the tips of his ears as he rubbed his arms. āItās cold out there.ā
āWell maybe,ā you said, setting Kiriya gently down beside her brothers, who were still tangled in a sleepy pile, āyou should try not torturing yourself.ā He huffed. āItās not like I can control what I dream about.ā You gave him a knowing look as you moved to him, placing a thick, woven cloth over his shoulders. He flinched at the warmth, grateful. āBut you can control what you do about it,ā you teased. He looked at you warily. āWhat does that mean?ā
āIt means,ā you said, beginning to rub warmth into his arms through the cloth, āI see you, Neteyam. You wake up every morning tense and hard like a stone pillar under that tweng. Youāve been diving into the water like some cursed, guilty little boy. But youāre not little. Youāre a grown man. My mate.ā
He looked anywhere but your eyes. You lowered your voice. āI know what your dreams are about.ā He finally met your gaze, his voice low. āDo you?ā You nodded slowly. āYou talk in your sleep sometimes.ā He groaned, pulling the cloth over his face. āGreat.ā
āDonāt be embarrassed,ā you said, laughing softly. āTheyāre⦠kinda flattering.ā He peeked at you with a look of dry betrayal. āYouāre enjoying this?ā
āJust a little.ā He scowled, though it lacked heat. āItās not fair. I remember just enough to want you, but not enough to feel like I deserve to act on it.ā Your smile faded into something softer. You moved closer, fingertips brushing his arm. āYouāre my husband. The father of my children. You donāt have to earn whatās already yours. You just have to come home to it.ā
He looked at you for a long time, jaw tight, eyes searching your face. āI dream of you,ā he said. āThe way you used to kiss me. Touch me. Your voiceāsoundsāI didnāt know I remembered⦠They wake me up shaking.ā Your lips parted slightly, your own breath catching. āAnd then I look at you,ā he added, āand I just feel⦠pulled. Like my body remembers everything my head forgot. Every time I brush against you by accident, it feels like lightning in my chest.ā You swallowed thickly, stepping closer. He glanced toward the children. āBut I canāt keep waking up like this, hard as a rock, running into the ocean like a foolāfreezing my balls off.ā
You laughed again, unable to help it. āDo you want help next time, ma Neteyam?ā His eyes darkened, lips quirking. āDonāt start, yawne. Iām barely holding on as it is.ā You smiled at him with soft eyes, brushing his hair from his face. āThen maybe you should stop fighting so hard. Come back to me. All the way.ā
He leaned in, almost without thinking, but then pulled back with a sigh. āI donāt want to mess this up again,ā he said. āSo Iāll wait until I know for sure Iām ready. You deserve all of me.ā You nodded. āAnd youāll get there. But maybe next time, skip the icy ocean.ā He looked down at his lap, where the evidence of his dreams had finally subsided. āGood. Because my balls still havenāt recovered.ā You giggled, smacking his arm. āGo warm up, skxawng. Iāll make tea.ā
As you turned, he reached out and caught your wrist gently. āHey.ā You turned back. His gaze was full of everything he couldnāt quite say yet. āI love you,ā he said, voice quiet. Your heart skipped. You squeezed his hand. āI know.ā I giggle, āI love you more.ā And as the morning sun broke through the clouds, there was a quiet promise lingering in the space between your joined hands: He was coming home. Fully. One dream, one breath, one kiss at a time.
The night was still. Quiet but for the gentle whisper of waves against the reef, and the occasional coo or sigh from the children shifting in their sleep. Neteyam sat on the mat, legs crossed, the tablet glowing faintly in his hands. You had already told himātwiceāto come to bed. You were curled up at the far end of the mat, Kiriya tucked in your arms, Likan curled against your side, and Eylanās head resting gently near yours. But still, he stayed up. Still, he scrolled.
He couldnāt stop. The images, the videos⦠they were you. Him. All the small things that shouldāve been ordinary felt sacred now. You walking through the forest, barefoot, laughing. You trying to cut fruit with a curved blade and muttering curses under your breath when it slipped. You with the boysāsmeared in mud, singing lullabies, dancing in the kitchen. Every second was a thread. And slowly, they were stitching his life back together.
Then he tapped a file. One he hadnāt seen before, the screen went black for a moment, then it lit up. It was you. Dressed in Omatikayan wedding clothādeep forest green and rich maroon threads, handmade jewelry wrapped delicately around your wrists and ankles. Beads adorned your hair. Your face was dewy with tears. You stood inside a new home, just barely furnished, still smelling of fresh cut wood and woven palms. You looked straight into the camera and sniffled, smiling so wide it cracked through your tears.
āWeāre mated.ā You laughed, wiping your eyes. āI canāt believe it. I mean⦠I can, because of course itās him. But Iām stillāIām married to Neteyam. The love of my life.ā You giggled. āHe went back to get the rest of our stuff. He wouldnāt let me help. He said, āJust stay here, baby. Iāll bring home our whole world.āā You glanced around, eyes full of emotion. āThis is it. Our home. He built this with his own hands for us. And somehow, I get to live here with him.ā The camera shook slightly as you leaned in. Your eyes were shining. Honest. āHe loves me. He loves me so much. Even when Iām angry. Even when I donāt get things right. Even when I talk too much or sleep with my feet freezing cold. He never complains. He just⦠pulls me close. He tells me Iām everything he ever wanted.ā You breathed out slowly, clutching somethingāyour courting tokenāin your hand. āI never thought Iād have this. I never thought Iād get to be chosen. But he chose me. And Iāll spend, the rest of my life loving him the way he loves me. The way he made me feel like I deserve and the way I know he deserves.ā The video ended quietly. Neteyamās chest caved inward as he stared at the dark screen, frozen.
And thenāIt hit him. Everything. Like water crashing through a dam. The forest. The moment you first reached for his hand. The first time you slept curled up together under the stars. Your first kiss, his fingers trembling where they touched your jaw. His face pressed into your neck the night you gave birth to Eylan. You squeezing his hand, eyes locked on him as Likan came into the world. Your laughter. Your cries. The fights. The passion. The love. Every. Single. Second. He gaspedāchoked on airāand jerked forward as if the wind had been knocked out of him. His hands trembled violently. You stirred. He didnāt even realize how loud heād whispered your name. āMaāma yawneāā You blinked awake slowly, sleep-soft and groggy. āTeyam?ā
But his hand was already on your cheek, his breath hitching, eyes wide and wet as he leaned over you. And that was when Kiriya stirredāyour movement jostling her. She let out a sharp cry, confused and still tired. Likan, pressed against you, whined and flailed sleepily. Eylan murmured something and turned over. You sat up quickly, trying to hush her, but Neteyam was shakingāsmilingāand crying all at once, one hand over his mouth, the tablet slipping from his lap. You turned to him in confusion. āNeteyamāwhatā?ā He was already pulling you close, chest heaving as he clung to you, half-laughing, half-sobbing. āI remember.ā His voice broke. āI remember everything.ā Your heart stopped. āWhatāā
āEverything.ā He leaned his forehead against yours. āYou. Our life. The boys. Kiriya.ā His hand hovered over her; chest wracked with emotion. ā*You were right. Youāve always been right. I was yours. Iāve always been yours.ā The emotion in your chest was a storm. You couldnāt speak. You could barely breathe.
Then you heard feet, running. Kiri burst in, wide-eyed, Neytiri behind her. Jake wasnāt far. Tuk, sleepy and bleary, trailed behind holding her bow. Loāak came in next, tense and worried. āWhat happened?! Is something wrong?ā Kiriās eyes landed on Neteyamās faceāhis tear-streaked, smiling faceāand yours, where you trembled and wept against him. Neytiriās breath caught. Jakeās shoulders slumped in relief. You turned to them, cradling Kiriya as Neteyam wrapped an arm around all three of his children, pulling them in.
āHe remembers.ā The room stilled. Kiriās hands flew to her mouth. Neytiri was crying in seconds, turning into Jakeās chest. Tuk ran forward, hugging Neteyamās leg. āYouāre back?ā He laughed wetly. āIām back, Tuk.ā Loāak stared, stunned, then shook his head in disbelief. āYouāre such a skxawng,ā he muttered, voice cracking. āIām gonna punch you so hard later.ā Neteyam only nodded, tears slipping free as he held you tighter. āGo ahead,ā he whispered. āI probably deserve it.ā You were sobbing now, holding onto him as he kissed your temple again and again, touching your face, your hands, your belly, like he had to feel every part of you to make sure you were real. He remembered. Everything. And from this moment on, he would never forget again.
Once the noise settled and the tears dried, the Sully family gave their son one last round of bone-crushing hugs, quiet laughter, and forehead kisses before Neytiri gently ushered everyone back to their mauri, smiling through her tears.
āIāll see you in the morning, maāitan,ā Neytiri whispered as she smoothed his hair like she had when he was a boy. āMy son has returned.ā Jake gripped his shoulder with pride, his eyes red. āWeāll talk tomorrow. Youāll explain everything⦠after you sleep.ā Kiri gave him a long, tight hug, and even Loāak ruffled his hair with a sigh that sounded suspiciously like relief. āYouāre lucky I love you, bro,ā he muttered. āYouāre lucky I remember you,ā Neteyam replied with a grin.
After the family trickled out, leaving only the soft glow of a candle and the quiet hum of night, you found yourself staring at the mat, where the three kids had already started dozing again in the aftermath of their interrupted slumber.
Likan had kicked off his blanket and sprawled belly-first across a woven pillow like a tiny lizard. Eylan had found his way to the spot Neteyam sat in earlier and curled up there like it was still warm, his little face slack with sleep. Kiriya, sweet and full after nursing, lay content against your shoulder, her soft breaths ghosting across your collarbone. āStars,ā you whispered, looking at the chaos. āThey sleep like drunk adults.ā
Neteyam let out a small, husky laugh and dropped into the mat beside you, his shoulders finally relaxed, his posture slouched in a way you hadnāt seen in monthsālike the weight of confusion had fallen off his chest. āYou always said thatā he said with a grin, brushing Likanās stray braid out of his face. āI never understood it until now. He sleeps like he fought a tree.ā
āHe did fight a tree yesterday,ā you said, smirking. āLost, too.ā Neteyam chuckled, glancing at you as you gently laid Kiriya down between the pillows and tucked her beside her brothers. You both stared down at them in silence.
āI missed this,ā he said softly. You turned to him, laying on your side, your hand propping your head up. āYou didnāt know you were missing it.ā He groaned and replied āI know. Thatās the part that kills me.ā You reached across the mat and touched his wrist. āYou came back to us. Thatās all that matters.ā His eyes softened. āYou kept this going. All of it. The home. The kids. Me.ā
āI cried. A lot,ā you admitted. āAnd yelled. And didnāt shower nearly enough.ā Neteyam grinned. āYou smell fine. You always smell like⦠berries and sunlight and baby.ā You giggle softly. āThatās either really sweet or mildly offensive.ā
āDepends on the baby,ā he joked. Then, after a beat, his smile faded into something gentler. āI remember what you went through. At least, parts of it. When I was shot. When you saw me unconscious. The birth of Kiriya.ā You blinked. āYou remember that?ā
He nodded. āNot the pain. But I remember her crying. And Loāakās voice. And yours.ā His gaze dropped to your belly. āYou were in so much pain, and I wasnāt there. And then you were holding her and sobbing because I didnāt wake up.ā Tears welled in your eyes. āYou remember that?ā He reached over and cupped your cheek. āI do now. It all came back. I felt like Iād forgotten how to breathe without you. But the second I saw that video of youāour wedding, you talking to the cameraāit was like my whole soul snapped into place.ā You sniffled, trying not to cry again. āI didnāt know if youād ever see that.ā
āIām glad I did. You were so beautiful in that video.ā His grin returned, sly this time. āI remember how long it took me to take those wraps off.ā You flushed. āDonāt start, Neteyam. The kids areāā He leaned closer, teasing. āAll asleep. Deep, drooling sleep. We could draw on their faces and they wouldnāt notice.ā You swatted his shoulder, laughing into your hand. āYouāre horrible.ā
āIām yours,ā he whispered, brushing your fingers aside to kiss your knuckles. You stared at him, your heart full to the brim. āYouāre sure?ā
āIāve never been more sure of anything in my life.ā He lay down facing you, so close now your foreheads touched. āI remember every scar, every fight, every kiss, every moment I told you I loved youāand everyone I didnāt say it but showed it anyway. I remember you, yawne. All of you.ā You swallowed around the lump in your throat, your fingers finding his, tangled loosely between your bodies. āYouāre gonna have to prove it, you know.ā He smirked. āOh, I plan to.ā Kiriya stirred in her sleep with a little grunt and both of you froze, peeking over her bundled shape. āSheās got your nose,ā Neteyam whispered. You smiled. āAnd your attitude. She screams when her milk isnāt warm enough like I can do anything about it.ā He laughed softly āSheās perfect.ā
āSheās ours.ā Neteyam leaned forward, gently pressing a kiss to your brow, your temple, then your lips. It was soft. Familiar. Like coming home. When you pulled apart, he yawnedāfinallyāand tucked himself closer to you, curling behind Kiriya as you remained on your side facing him. āThis side better than mine,ā he mumbled. āBecause itās mine,ā you teased. āIām never leaving it again.ā And you believed him. As the rain danced on the thatched roof above and your family slept safely around you, you let your eyes drift closed. Neteyam was home.
Lina paced the length of her mauri, the woven floor creaking softly beneath her bare feet. The ocean breeze no longer felt soothingāit was biting. Mocking. Her hands trembled as she set down the shell bowl, she had no intention of eating from. The scent of sea fruit made her stomach turn. Three weeks. Thatās how long it had been since sheād last seen Neteyam.
No word. No visit. No trace of the man who once sat beside her every evening, tangled in her nets, tangled in her. Gone, like fog when the sun rises. And worseāworseāhe had moved back into the home he once shared with you. That forest-bred thing he couldnāt remember loving. That mate who stood in her way again. She had heard it secondhand. Whispers from the market, low murmurs from children, the ripple of gossip as effortless as breath. āDid you hear? Neteyam moved back in with his family.ā
āHe carries the little one again, helps the boys bathe by the shore.ā
āThey say he remembers.ā
That last part hit like a blade. He remembered. Sheād dropped her basket when she heard, too stunned to care that her gathered sea herbs had spilled across the coral path. Her chest had gone tight, her vision narrowed. She hadnāt cried. No. She didnāt cry. But the burn in her throat was undeniable. He remembered. And he didnāt even say goodbye. He hadnāt needed to. Youād won. Again.
All her work, all her effortāeverything she gave him: her attention, her patience, her body, her timeāit had been for nothing. For a glimpse. A taste. And then gone. But Lina wasnāt the kind of woman to lose quietly. She sat that night beside her hearth, face lit by dim firelight, fingers curled tightly around a carving knife. She didnāt think about stabbing anything. Not really. Just the weight of it. The way the handle fit in her hand. She needed control. She needed something. Then the plan began to spin in her mind, fine and sharp as woven fishing line. If Neteyam remembered everythingāeverythingāthen surely, he also remembered pain. Jealousy. Doubt. The flaws. The insecurities. And maybe⦠just maybe, if she sowed the right seed, it would take root.
She didnāt know about your moment with Loāakāhow could she? But that didnāt stop her from making one up. She found the right voice, trembling, sweet, just innocent enough. She whispered it first to a pair of girls near the shore. āThey say she was never loyal,ā she sighed. āEven when Neteyam was still unconscious. I heard Loāak was always around. Maybe too much.ā She knew how to pick the right moments. Who to speak near, she wasnāt foolish enough to name names or say it too directly. But whispers had power in a clan this tightly knit. āDid you see how Loāak always carries the boys around? Itās like theyāre his.ā
āI thought she moved on. I heard she and Neteyam werenāt⦠together when the baby came.ā
āShe and Loāak used to sneak off into the woods before dinner, remember?ā
Lies. Crafted with care. Not wild ones, but the kind that sounded like they could be true. And they spread. Lina watched from the rocks, arms crossed, as you passed with Kiriya in your sling and Neteyam at your side, your boys trailing behind him, clinging to their fatherās fingers. You were laughing. He was smilingāgenuinely smiling. Her stomach twisted. It wasnāt fair.
She had earned him. Sheād been there when no one else had. When he didnāt know his name, she had whispered it against his skin. When he forgot who he was, she told him he was hers. But that version of himāblank, open, lostāwas slipping further away with each passing day. So, her smile turned thin and patient, her hands laced sweetly in her lap, but her eyes stayed sharp. Scheming. She wasnāt done. Not yet.
It started with whispers ā again. You had exactly, one week of peace together. But this time, the whispers were about you. At first, Neteyam tried to ignore them. He wanted to. He wanted to stay focused on the life he was building back ā the family dinners, the quiet moments with Kiriya curled into his chest, the way Eylan giggled when he tossed him into the shallows, Likanās sticky kisses, your soft sleepy smile before dawn. That was his life. But the voices got louder.
āShe was with Loāak even before the baby came, I heard.ā
āI saw them, always together, before Neteyam woke up. Touching.ā
āMaybe the little one isnāt even his. Look at her eyes.ā
āYou think thatās why Loāak always helps with the kids? Guilt?ā
One thing Neteyam had learned since regaining his memories: gossip in the clan was like a storm on the sea. Small at first, and then suddenly everywhere, churning, devouring, crashing over every surface. And it hurt. It hurt more than anything had in the last few months ā because he had forgiven you. You had told him everything. That one kiss. That one moment of weakness. And he knew you regretted it. You had been broken. Alone. You had never stopped loving him. He knew that. But now, it wouldnāt leave his mind, the noise of it. Over and over. What if there was more? What if everyone else knew something he didnāt? He tried to push it down. Until the final blow came. āLoāak said something once⦠he said he loved her. Thatās what I heard.ā Neteyam lost it.
The entire family was gathered, talking near the cluster of Sully-linked mauri when it exploded. You were inside yours with the kids, nursing Kiriya down for her nap, and Neteyam was supposed to be helping Jake with spear repairs ā but his voice rang out loud enough to stop everything. āYou swore it was only one kiss!ā Neteyamās voice cracked like thunder, loud and hurt and furious. āOne mistake! And now Iām hearing that my daughter might not even be mine?! That you and my wifeāā Jake stepped in immediately, pushing a hand against Neteyamās chest. āHey! Hey! Watch yourselfāā Loāakās face twisted in confusion and disbelief. āBroāwhat the fuck are you talking about?ā
āYou knew she was mine!ā Neteyam shouted at him, ignoring everyone else, fury pouring out of every muscle. āYou stood by her while I was dying, and now Iām finding out you touched her? Loved her? Are you proud of that?ā Loāak stumbled back, face blanching. āNo. WhatāNeteyam, I neverā! It wasnāt like that! You know that!ā Neytiriās voice sliced through the air. āEnough.ā But it was too late. You stepped out of the mauri then ā Kiriya in your sling, wide-eyed, blinking against the noise. You looked⦠shattered. Neteyam saw you. The pain on your face. The hurt. The sheer shock at what he was saying. And still ā still ā he couldnāt stop himself. āDid you sleep with him?ā he asked, low now. āTell me right now, if you everāā Your eyes welled up. āHow dare you?ā Everyone froze. You backed away slowly, turning without another word, disappearing down the sand path.
And then, a day passed. Two. You barely left the mauri, save for fetching food for the kids, helping them bathe and nap. You didnāt want to see anyone. You didnāt want to see him. Which is exactly when she came. Lina, you didnāt realize it was her before, honestly you didnāt even know what she looked like, but then she started talking. Soft-voiced. Sweet-smiled. Innocent eyes. āOh,ā she said gently, āI just⦠I saw you out, and I wanted to say Iām so sorry for what everyoneās saying.ā You didnāt respond. She stepped closer. āIt must be hard, all the lies. But if anyoneās lying, itās not you.ā You blinked, confused. She leaned in, whispering. āNeteyam lied to me too. Said he wasnāt with you anymore. I wouldnāt have ever let it happen otherwise. But⦠he got me pregnant. So⦠I guess youāre not the only one heās been lying to.ā Silence. Your vision blacked out. You shoved Kiriyaās fruit basket into Linaās chest and bolted.
The entire family saw it. The storm that broke next. You stormed into the Sully cluster of mauri, hair wild, eyes blazing, your body shaking with rage, and before Neteyam could say a wordāyour fist collided with his jaw. āMotherfucker.ā He stumbled back, hand to his mouth. āWhaā?!ā
āYou accused me of things I never did! Sleeping with your brother?! And nowāNOW I find out you got the girl pregnant?! After everything?!ā
āWhat?! Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?!ā You shoved him again, sobbing, your arms flailing, āI loved you. I forgave you! I took you back, I let you in our home! And the whole timeāā
āShe said I whatā¦?ā Neteyam asked again. Loāak repeated it, slowly, disbelief still etched into his features. āShe told your wife⦠that you got her pregnant, bro.ā
āSheāā Neteyam shook his head, blinking fast like he could erase the whole moment. āNo. No. I never⦠Eywa. I never even slept with her.ā You scoffed bitterly, a sharp sound that cut deeper than your fist had. āWell, she says you did.ā
āI didnāt!ā Neteyam barked, stepping forward, eyes pleading. āWe⦠we kissed. She touched me, I told you that. But I neverā I never laid with her.ā You held up your hand, cutting him off like a blade. āDonāt. I swear to Eywa, donāt come any closer.ā He stopped dead in his tracks. Jake stepped forward. āWe need to get to the bottom of this. Now.ā
Thatās when Kiri ran up, breathless. āI heard it,ā she gasped. āThe other girls were talking. Itās Lina. She started the rumors. Sheās the one who said the baby might not be Neteyamās. Sheās been lying this whole time. I knew it. I knew something was offāā The entire family turned quiet. Everything made sense. The rumors. The whispers. The timing. Neytiriās face went pale with rage. Jakeās jaw was clenched like stone. And youābroken, shaking, furiousāyou stepped back, whispering only: āI hope sheās worth it.ā Neteyam didnāt say a word.
Because for once⦠he had none. The silence after your final words was thick and suffocating. Your voice still rang in everyoneās ears. Kiri stood stiffly off to the side, face pale and lips pressed tight, trying to catch her breath after rushing from the far reef. Neytiri stood close to her, a trembling hand on Kiriās shoulder. Loāak had his hand on your back, trying to steady you as you held Kiriya close now, her tiny fists gripping your braid, confused by all the shouting. Likan and Eylan stood by Jakeās side, wide-eyed and silent, watching everything with the sense that something very, very big had just happened.
Neteyamās lip was bleeding. A trickle ran down the side of his mouth, where your fist had landed hard. He didnāt wipe it. He didnāt move at all. Just stood there, heart pounding out of rhythm, staring at you like he couldnāt breathe. Jake crossed his arms, staring hard at Neteyam. āThen you need to find out the truth.ā
āWhat?ā Neteyamās eyes darted from his father to you, shaking his head. āI told you. Itās not true.ā
āYou think I care what you say right now?ā you hissed, voice low and deadly. Kiri took Kiriya from your arms gently, but your hands didnāt fall limp ā they curled into fists again. āI stood in front of your family, of my family, and defended you when you asked for space. When you forgot me. When you kissed her. When she touched you. I let it go because I loved you enough to let you find your way back. And now this?ā Neteyam opened his mouth, but you didnāt let him speak.
āYou accused me of being unfaithful,ā you said through your teeth. āOf letting your brother touch me. Of lying about our children. You believed the rumors without asking me first, and now you expect me to stand by and let you see her again? After she says you got her pregnant?ā
You took one step closer, the fire from your soul blazing in your eyes. āI donāt care what you find out. I donāt care what she says. I donāt want you anywhere near that woman again. You walk into her mauri, Neteyam, and you stay there. You hear me?ā He flinched at your words like they were lashes. Neytiri finally spoke, her voice cold, quiet. āShe manipulated you. Lied. Twisted her way into this familyās peace. If you donāt find the truth, she will never stop.ā
āAnd if sheās not pregnant?ā Loāak asked warily. āIf itās just another lie?ā Jake added grimly, āTonowari and Ronal will deal with it.ā Neteyam looked torn apart. His face was pale, expression twisted with a storm of pain. āI never wanted this.ā
āBut you made choices,ā you said softly now, quieter. It was worse than yelling. āAnd now you live with them.ā
āIām sorry.ā You scoffed. āYou believed everything she said.ā
āI didnāt! Not all of it, not really,ā he argued, eyes desperate now. āBut Iā I wasnāt thinking. I was a mess. And sheā she took advantage of thatāā Loāak cut in, jaw tight. āYeah, we know. But the damage is done. The clanās talking like itās already true.ā
āI donāt care what the clan says!ā you snarled. āI care about my children hearing lies that their father has another family!ā Jake raised his hands, trying to calm the growing storm. āEnough. Both of you. We need to figure this out. Without sending Neteyam back there.ā
Neteyam looked over at Jake now, lost. āHow do we find out? If she wonāt talk to anyone else, and I canātāwonātāgo near her?ā
Kiri stepped forward slowly. āI might have a way.ā Everyone turned to her. Kiriās eyes were steady, serious now. āShe talks to someone every day. A younger girl named Aluke. She was the first to start repeating the rumors about everything ā about the baby not being yours. She mightāve overheard something else. Sheās not very good at keeping her mouth shut.ā You narrowed your eyes. āYou think you can get her to talk?ā Kiri tilted her head. āIf sheās anything like she was as a child, yes. If not, Iāll figure out another way.ā Loāak nodded. āIf sheās saying too much, sheāll keep talking. Maybe she knows Linaās real intentions. Maybe she even knows itās a lie.ā
āIāll go with Kiri,ā Neytiri said, jaw clenched. āThat girl said she saw the kiss between you two.ā Loāak grimaced. āThat lie ends today, too,ā Neytiri hissed. Jake nodded. āGood, go.ā You didnāt speak again ā just nodded, sharp and stiff, and turned back toward the mauri with your children. Neteyam reached out instinctively ā not to stop you, but to be near you. āMa yawneāā You turned your face just enough to look at him over your shoulder. There was no softness in your eyes. āI meant it,ā you said again, low and quiet. āIf you go near her, weāre done.ā He watched as you disappeared inside with Kiriya on your hip, Likan trailing behind you sleepily, Eylan still gripping your hand tightly.
The night settled in around them like a heavy blanket, no stars visible behind the clouds. And all Neteyam could think, again and again, was: āwhat if it is⦠and Iāve destroyed everything anyway?ā
The rain had started up again just before nightfall ā soft and drizzling, tapping against the woven leaves of your mauri like a lullaby meant for someone else. Not for you. Not for the mess your life had become. You sat curled up against the far wall, knees pulled tight to your chest, your arms wrapped around them as Kiriya nursed at your breast, her soft suckling the only real sound in the room. Likan and Eylan were asleep on the furs, their small bodies curled up together near the low-burning fire pit, unaware of the storm ā outside or inside.
Your face was damp, and not just from the rain that had kissed your skin earlier. Youād cried so hard your ribs ached. Your stomach burned. Your soul had frayed. You didnāt look up when you heard the flap of the doorway shift. Neteyam stepped in quietly, his shoulders hunched, eyes rimmed red and jaw tight. He was breathing like heād run here ā or maybe like he was trying not to scream. He saw you and stopped mid-step. You didnāt say anything. Couldnāt. āCan I talk to you?ā he asked, softly. Like you were something fragile. Like the wrong word would break you for good.
You didnāt answer. Just stared down at Kiriya, who had stopped feeding and now blinked up at you sleepily, pawing at your chest. Neteyam took it as a maybe and came closer, crouching slowly beside you, careful not to disturb the boys. āI know youāre hurting,ā he whispered. āAnd I deserve it. I do. I justā I need you to know something. Really know it.ā
You finally looked at him. Your face was blotchy, lips trembling, eyes bloodshot. His heart cracked wide open. āI didnāt sleep with her,ā he said, quickly, his voice raw. āNo matter what she says, or what anyone says⦠I swear it on Eywa. On my soul. I didnāt. I never did.ā You stared at him for a moment, like you werenāt sure if your heart could risk believing him again.
āShe tried,ā he said. āA lot. But every time⦠something pulled me back. It didnāt feel right. It never did. Even when I didnāt remember everything, there was something wrong about it. And I promise, I promise baby I told you everything. Everything that happened.ā Your voice cracked when it came. āYou touched her.ā
āYes,ā he said honestly. āI did. And she touched me. Iām not going to lie to you. But it didnāt go further than that. I never let it. I never wanted to go all the way, even when I was confused. I didnāt let her stay with me. I didnāt let her into our home. I never crossed that line.ā You choked. āThen howāhow could you still accuse me?ā
āI was scared,ā he admitted, his voice nearly breaking. āI heard what people were saying and I thought⦠I thought maybe I deserved it. Maybe it was true and Iā I couldnāt breathe. I lashed out. And I know it was wrong. Iām so sorry.ā He dropped his head, resting his forehead on your knees. āI was stupid. I let myself get pulled into something I knew deep down wasnāt real. Not like this. Not like us. And now youāre hurting. And I did that. I did that.ā You finally spoke again, whisper soft. āShe said sheās pregnant.ā
āI donāt care,ā he said quickly. āIf she is, itās not mine. It canāt be. Sheās lying. She has to be. And if sheās not⦠she was with someone else.ā You stared at him, your hand resting on Kiriyaās back. āWhy would she say it, then?ā
āBecause she knew I was slipping away,ā he said. āI stopped going. I stopped touching her. I came home. She saw. She knew I remembered. Thatās why she did this. To punish me. To keep you from forgiving me.ā Your bottom lip quivered. āYou donāt deserve forgiveness.ā
āI know. But Iāll spend the rest of my life earning it if youāll let me.ā A silence passed. The sound of Kiriyaās breath. The fire crackling. A gust of wind outside. You wiped your cheek with the back of your hand. āI donāt believe sheās carrying your child.ā Neteyamās eyes met yours, startled.
āI donāt believe her,ā you repeated. āBecause I know you. Even with your memory gone, I knew who you were. You wouldnāt do that. You wouldnāt give her that. You could make mistakes, sure. But that? No.ā His throat bobbed. āI swear I didnāt.ā
āI believe you.ā Tears welled in his eyes, falling freely now. āThank you.ā
āIām still angry,ā you added quickly. āIām so angry. Iām not ready to just⦠be okay. But I needed to hear it from you. That it wasnāt true.ā He nodded, eyes shining. āIāll take whatever you can give me.ā
āI canāt give much,ā you whispered. āIāll still be here.ā You exhaled slowly, eyes falling to the sleeping boys, then to Kiriya now curled against your shoulder. āI need you to be the father they deserve. Not the man that woman wanted you to be.ā
āI will be,ā he whispered. āI swear, yawne. No more lies. No more her.ā Your lip trembled again. āYouāre not allowed to leave us again.ā
āI wonāt.ā He reached out, gently covering your hand with his.
The fire had burned low. The boys still slept, warm and safe beneath the woven furs. Kiriya dozed in your arms again, her soft little face pressed against your bare chest, one tiny hand curled at your throat. You rocked her absently, though your eyes stayed locked on the flames.
Neteyam hadnāt moved far. He knelt just beside you still, silent, watching the way you held your daughter. The weight of everything hung between you ā grief, pain, betrayal, but also something else. The flicker of something alive. Something trying to bloom back to life in the ash of everything youād survived.
When Kiriya let out a soft sigh, eyes fluttering fully closed, you shifted and began to lower her gently to the mat, tucking her into the blankets beside her brothers. You stroked her cheek once and then let yourself sit back ā your hands trembling from the storm you hadnāt yet shaken loose. Then⦠Neteyam reached for you. Slow. Gentle.
His hands came to your waist first, then slipped around your back, tugging you into him. You let it happen, though your arms stayed limp at your sides, your face burying into his shoulder automatically as your body began to tremble again. Not loud, not dramatic. Just deep, silent sobs. The kind that come when the worst has already passed, and all thatās left is the exhaustion of surviving it. He rocked you gently. āMa yawne,ā he whispered, over and over. āOeyƤ yawne. Iām so sorry. Iām here. Iām here.ā
His hands rubbed up and down your spine, anchoring you against him, his breath warm at your temple. You clung to him then, arms looping tightly around his chest, pulling yourself into his warmth as if you could melt into him and never have to leave. āForgive me,ā he whispered, voice trembling. āPlease. Iāll say it every day. Iāll say it in my sleep. Iāll never stop saying it. But you have to know ā I never stopped loving you. Even when I didnāt know who I was⦠something in me always knew you.ā
You pulled back just enough to look at him. His face was wet with tears, his eyes searching yours like he was still begging to be allowed this moment. And you nodded. āThen show me,ā you whispered. āShow me, ma Neteyam.ā He blinked. āAre you sure?ā You nodded again, slow and full of meaning. āI want to feel you again. All of you.ā He inhaled sharply, heart pounding, and then ā reverently, slowly ā he reached for your kuru. The moment he touched it, your chest fluttered, and your hands instinctively rose to the braid at the base of his skull. Together⦠you connected. Tsahaylu. And in an instant ā the world shifted.
You gasped softly as everything came crashing in. The pain heād been holding onto. The regret. The confusion. The shame. And thenāunderneath it, rising like the tideāthe love. So much love. You felt it ā how heād carried your voice in his soul even when he didnāt know it was yours. How home had always been the sound of your laugh. How the dreams haunted him because you were in every one of them ā your smile, your body, your touch. How much he missed being yours. Being Neteyam ā your Neteyam. And you let him feel everything too.
The moment your belly swelled with Kiriya, and you lay awake at night just praying heād live to see her. The quiet strength you held for your boys every day while breaking inside. The ache of being forgotten. The pain of being blamed. The unbearable longing for his arms, his voice, his eyes full of love. How you still wore his courting token in your hair every day. How even after everything ā you still loved him. Still chose him. A choked breath left his throat, and he crushed you into his chest again, one hand cradling your head, the other spreading across your back.
āI canāt believe I forgot I had this,ā he whispered hoarsely. āEverything. Every moment. Every promise I made. I meant them all.ā
āI know,ā you whispered back, your breath catching as more tears fell, softer this time. Cleansing. āI know, ma tƬyawn. So did I.ā He kissed your hair, your cheek, your temple, tenderly, over and over like he couldnāt stop. His hands shook against your skin. āI donāt deserve your forgiveness,ā he murmured.
āYou already have it,ā you said quietly. āYou always did. You were sick, Neteyam. Lost. But I knew youād find your way.ā
āAnd you waited,ā he whispered. āEven when I was breaking your heart.ā
āI prayed for you every night,ā you said. āI loved you even when it hurt.ā He pulled back and touched your cheek with such reverence it made your eyes sting all over again. āI donāt know how I ever looked at another woman when you were right here.ā You let out a broken laugh, and he laughed too, just a little, brushing his nose against yours. āYouāre such an idiot,ā you whispered, watery and smiling. āBiggest skxawng in the clan,ā he agreed softly.
You both stayed there for a long time ā connected, bonded, whole ā until the fire burned down to embers and the soft rise and fall of your childrenās breathing filled the quiet night. For the first time in moons, you werenāt broken anymore. You were together You looked up at him, your fingers still trembling in his. Your tears had dried, but their weight clung to your chest. The soft glow of the lantern in the corner of the mauri cast golden light over Neteyamās face, over the worry in his brow, the love in his eyes.
You had missed him. Missed the warmth of him. The way his arms felt like protection. The way his presence calmed the storm in your chest like nothing else ever could. His hand rose to brush your cheek, thumb grazing softly over the edge of your jaw. āYouāre still the most beautiful thing Iāve ever seen,ā he whispered, his voice low, reverent, full of ache. Your breath caught. āYou donāt have to say that just because you remember now.ā
āIām not,ā he murmured. āIām saying it because I feel it. Because Iāve always felt it.ā Then he kissed you. Slowly, gentlyālike a prayer, like an apology, like a promise. His lips moved with care, like he was relearning the shape of you, the rhythm of your breath. You shifted carefully until you were straddling his lap, your hands slid up his arms, his shoulders, anchoring yourself to him as his fingers trailed down your sides, not rushed or demandingābut familiar.
He paused, eyes locking with yours. āCan Iā¦?ā he asked, voice quiet, but full of need. Full of reverence. You nodded, breathless, pulling him closer. He leaned in again, lips brushing your temple, your cheek, the corner of your mouth. āI want to take every doubt out of your body,ā he whispered. āEvery lie she told, every word I ever said that made you feel less.ā
Slowly, tenderly, he slid away the fabric of your chest wrap, revealing skin he hadnāt touched in what felt like years. He kissed every place he uncoveredāyour collarbone, the hollow of your throat, your shoulder. His hands were careful, steady, full of quiet devotion.
āI missed you,ā he said against your skin. āThe way you laugh. The way you look when you hold our children. The way your eyes soften when youāre teasing me. I remember all of it now.ā You breathed in shakily, fingers in his hair. āThen show me.ā And he did. Every kiss was a promise. Every whisper a vow. No rush. No demands. Just the slow, sacred return to something only the two of you had ever shared. To something no oneānot even memory loss, not even betrayalācould truly erase. When he finally held you in his arms, skin to skin, soul to soul, the weight youād been carrying fell away. You werenāt just forgiving each other. You were finding your way back home.
His hands moved with a reverence that made your breath catch, as if every part of you deserved to be memorized all over again. And maybe you didāmaybe he did, too. His lips traveled slowly, unhurried, pressing to every dip and curve like he was rediscovering sacred ground. Neteyam was about to lay you down onto the mat but then the Likan shifted, and you both paused looking over at him. Instead, you silently pointed to the fur rug in front of the fireplace, and he lifted you effortlessly, laying you down in front of the warmth.
When he kissed down your body, over your chest, the soft skin of your stomach, and lower, you gasped, a quiet sound that broke somewhere between relief and longing. Your fingers curled against the blankets beneath you, your eyes fluttering shut. It wasnāt just the sensation of his mouth or the trail of heat he left in his wake, it was what it meant. It was him choosing youānot out of duty, not because memory demanded it, but because his heart knew it. Because he remembered. Because he wanted to.
You felt it in the way his lips lingered. In the way his hands steadied your hips like you were something precious. In the way he paused, looking up at you with dark, reverent eyes before continuing, like asking for permission even now. Your heart thudded in your chest, overwhelming and fragile. You whispered his name. Not in desperationābut in awe. He smiled. Softly. Like he knew what this meant. It wasnāt frantic or rushed. It wasnāt about need. It was about presence. You had him again. All of him. The weight of his body, the brush of his breath, the worship in his touch. And for the first time in so long, you werenāt surviving. You were living. You were loved.
Neteyamās lips brushed your collarbone, slow and warm, and you gasped softly half-laughter, half-need. āYouāre laughing?ā he murmured against your skin, lips curving into a smile. You giggled breathlessly, your fingers brushing through his braids. āIt tickles,ā you whispered, voice catching. āYouāre not usually this slow.ā He chuckled, dragging his lips to your neck. āIāve been gone a while,ā he said lowly, āI think Iām allowed to savor my wife.ā
You bit your lip. āYouāre lucky I missed you.ā He lifted his head just long enough to meet your eyes. āMissed me? Or missed this?ā His hand slid along your thigh, deliberate but gentle. You grinned. āDonāt act like you donāt know.ā
āI want to hear you say it,ā he teased, voice dipping as he nipped at your shoulder. āFine,ā you breathed, a flush blooming over your cheeks. āI missed your mouth⦠and your hands⦠and the way youāā You broke off with a gasp as he found a spot that made you squirm. āThere?ā he said with a smirk, nosing into your neck. You shoved at his chest, laughing. āYouāre so smug.ā
āOnly when Iāve earned it.ā You arched slightly, brushing your lips against his ear. āYou havenāt yet.ā His growl was soft but promising. āChallenge accepted.ā You both laughed, your bodies close, breaths mingling. Then he stilled for a moment, his forehead resting against yours. āYouāre still the most beautiful thing Iāve ever seen,ā he said, voice barely a whisper. āI thought Iād never remember what you felt like. But now⦠Iāll never forget again.ā Your eyes stung, heart pounding. āThen donāt ever leave me again, mighty warrior.ā He leaned in, brushing your lips with his. āNever,ā he promised.
Your breath hitched as his mouth wandered lower, slow and reverent, and your hand found its way to his hair. āYou always do this,ā you murmured, voice trembling with a smile. āDo what?ā His voice was low, warm against your skin. āTake your time⦠like youāre unwrapping a gift.ā He chuckled. āYou are a gift. Iāve been starving, yawntu. Let me taste what I nearly lost.ā His lips kissed down and around both your breast before kissing your nipple softly, his lips dragged against the harden nub You blushed hard at his words, shivering under his touch. āYouāre saying things that make my knees weak,ā you whispered.
āGood,ā he said, tongue darting out to give you a tantalizing, slow flick. āBecause I remember now. I remember exactly how to make you fall apart.ā You gasped, laughing lightly, trying to tug him back up to kiss you, but he resisted, trailing his fingers up your sides instead. āNo, no,ā he teased, grinning against your skin. āYou said I hadnāt earned it yet.ā You whined. āNeteyamā¦ā
āSay it again.ā His tone was softer now, tender. āSay my name like that.ā He moved his head down after biting your nipple and tugging softly making a little mess in his mouth. āNeteyam.ā Your voice cracked on it, raw and breathless. He kissed down the curve of your ribs, slow and steady. āThere it is.ā A pause. āYou always said it like that. Like it was sacred.ā
āIt is,ā you whispered, cupping his face and drawing him up to you. āYou are.ā He kissed you then ā slow, searching, aching ā and as he hovered above you, his forehead pressed to yours, your legs tangled beneath the covers, you felt the shift. āDo you remember this part too?ā you asked shyly, teasing. He laughed softly. āI remember everything to know you used to beg.ā You let out a scandalized gasp. āI did not.ā
āYou did,ā he said with a smug smile. āEspecially when Iād tease these cute nipples with my tongue and my fingersā¦.and when I sucked on your pretty clit and stuck my tongue in this tight little hole.ā He leaned down and whispered something in your ear that made you swat at his arm, breathless and flushed. His fingers ran down your body, all the way dow between your bare thighs to rub small light circles on your clit, making you whimper āFuckā¦!ā you said, burying your face in his neck.
āYou love it,ā he whispered against your shoulder. āI love you,ā you corrected, breath heavy on his neck as you kissed under his ear He froze, just for a moment but didnāt stop his movements. Then his voice broke as he said, āSay it again.ā you repeated, one hand over his heart. āI love youā¦Always.ā
āEven now?ā You nodded. āEspecially now.ā He exhaled like heād been holding his breath for months. āThen let me show you how much I love you too,ā he whispered. āYes pleaseā¦ā you whisper as he worked his was down once more, smiling as he already got that little āpleaseā out of you. His head disappeared under the thin blanket, kissing and sucking the skin of your thighs, grazing his fangs and sometimes biting like he really was getting taste out of the act. Your moaned softly into the air having to control your voice now more than ever, not wanting to be interrupted. Neteyamās hands wrapped around your thighs pulling you closer and tossing your legs over his shoulders, his breath lingered on your core making you clench around nothing before you felt his mouth on you.
His tongue worked magic between your thighs, hit the spots he had hit perfected for years, as if it was the only thing in the world he was supposed to remember. Itās been so long since felt him you didnāt realize youād want to cum so fast, his tongue flicked up and down, side to side making you arch your back and whimpers escape from your lips. Your hands tangled into his braids tugging him closer as if his face could be anymore buried in you. He sucked on your clit making your eyes go wide and your grip tighten in his hair as you hiss into the air, āohā¦oh my Eywaā¦ā you whispered clenching your teeth and squeezing your eyes shut as he fucked his tongue into you, it only took a few sweet thrust before you were cuming on his tongue, your essence messing up his face, your thighs, and leaking down his chin to his neck as he lapped you up sweetly.
His head rose from the blanket as you were trying to catch your breath, he looked very pleased with himself. He wiped his face with the back of his hand before hovering over you again, his fingers trailing down to your core as he kissed you again letting you taste your cum on his tongue, it was sweet, like the flowers he picked for you yesterday. Your thighs twitched as his fingers made may to your hole, but you stopped him, āMa Teyamā¦ā you mumbled against his lips. He pulled away and looked down at you, āwhat is it sweetheart?ā
You bit your lip at his sweet nickname and took a breath, ādonātā¦. donāt put your fingers in..ā Neteyam tilted his head at your request, itās been months since the last time you had sex he wasnāt to stretch you out, so it doesnāt hurt as much, and he was about to say so before you spoke again. āWant your cock to stretch me outā¦wanna feel itā you bit your lip and smile up at him sweetly, as if the most vile words ever didnāt just come out of you. Neteyam let his fingers pause where they were toying between your folds, rubbing against your tight hole and look he gave you was wrecked. āOh, Great Motherā¦ā His groan punched from his chest like heād been struck.
You snorted through your nose, half laughing, half breathless. āShh, the kids are asleep, ma Teyamāā You put a finger to his lips, wide-eyed. āDo not wake them.ā He caught your wrist, kissed your fingertip, his voice rough and dark: āThen stop saying things that make me forget we even have children.ā
He dipped his head into the crook of your neck, panting hard, his hand that was between your legs now gripped tight on your hips. āYou canāt say things like that.ā His voice was wrecked, trembling. You tilted your head sweetly. āWhy not?ā He growled, lifting his head to look at you, eyes ablaze. āBecause Iām trying to be gentle, and thatā¦ā āhe kissed you hard, teeth grazing your lipā āmakes me want to ruin you.ā You gasped into his mouth, heart pounding. His hands roamed now, slow but more desperate.
āStars, yawntu,ā he muttered, his forehead resting against yours. āYouāre going to kill me.ā You giggled ā quiet and sinful. āYou keep saying that.ā He groaned again, softer this time, but no less strained. āDonāt do that, donāt laugh like that after you didnāt just say the nastiest thing to meā which made you giggle again. āYou want me just like this?ā he whispered, voice dipping low, dangerously low. āWant my cock in you just like that?ā He asked as if he was confirming thatās what you so desperately wanted. You nodded, lips parted, breathing shallow. And the fire in him roared. āYouāre playing a dangerous game.ā But even as he said it, he was already gone for you.
His body shifted again, ridding himself of his loincloth now hanging, hard and heavy between his strong thighs over cunt. Before his hand could, you swiped your fingers on your tongue giving them a nice wet lick before grabbing his cock in your hand, your stroked it softly and his body tensed, āoh fuckāgreat motherā he cursed dropping his head down, so your foreheads touched. āThat feel good baby?ā You whisper into his mouth as your lips brush, but you didnāt kiss.
āS-so goodā¦ā he matched your tone, strained. āMy poor husbandā¦so touch starved..ā you giggle wickedly but it was still so, so hot to him. āYou missed me muntaxtan? Missed the way I touched you? Stroked your cock?ā Your words were hot down his throat he couldnāt breathe, so he nodded against you, brushing your skin close, quiet, hot. Like youād just created a whole world for this moment. āWanna fuck me muntaxtan?ā He nodded again, hand running down your body to grip his out cock over your hand, āyea? Do itā¦fuck me, put it in muntaxtanā¦ā you edged him as your jaw went slack as he entered you. Slowly, like he was memorizing how ever ridge on his cock, how every bugling vein felt going into your sweet, hot, cunt.
His jaw matched yours swallowing all the moans you let out, with every inch of his thick cock stretching you open. His eyes shut to calm himself, he felt like he could cum on the spot. āOhā¦Eywaā you moaned and his eyes darted open, taking in your furrowed brows and heavy panting. His cock was only halfway in at this point, and he stopped, moving back and forth giving you a few shallow thrusts, ācalling for God baby? Eywaās not fucking you, my cock is fucking youā¦say my name.ā His voice was soft but commanding. Your legs wrapped around your waist, one over the other on his back, his tails wrapped around your ankle and yours around his thigh. Neteyam dug his cock deeper in, until he was fulling you completely, cock snug in your cock, āf-fuckā¦Neteyam.ā You whispered into his mouth making him smile, āthatās my good girlā¦so perfect for meā¦so good at taking instructions.ā
Your eyes rolled you swear you was your brain when he started to move, shallow thrusts at first, balls slapping your skin softly as you took him in. āah, ah, ahā¦ā you went softly moaning against him. Your hands went up and over his shoulder to his back, digging into the skin as he started to spreed up his thrust. Your moaned start to get louder but he smiled and locked your lips in his kiss, swallowing all your noises, āshh babyā¦gonna wake the kids and I donāt wanna stopā¦ā his tongue invaded your mouth quickly finding dominance over yours. It was sloppy and wet; you could barely kiss him back feeling him drag his cock against your sweet spot. His thrusts continued to get faster and faster until he was pounding into you, your entire body shook with his movements, but he kept you grounded, complete covered by him.
Your back arched off the soft mat, bringing your chest closer to his. His elbows hit the mat next to you bringing himself impossibly closer. āOhāoh just like thatā¦please teyāteyam..ā you moaned into his mouth, and he let out a grunt. āJust like that?ā He repeated moving a little harder and you lost the ability to kiss completely, as you nodded against him. Then suddenly he pulled out completely, you let out a whine in frustration, but it didnāt last long, his hands moved you without a thought, pushing you over onto your side and sliding into the spot behind you, back pressed against his chest facing the fireplace. His hand moved down to grip your right thigh pulling your entire leg up into the air as he effortlessly slides his cock back into your warmth with practiced ease.
Your stomach did flips when he started fucking you again, your hands gripping his arm that ended up under your neck and around the upper half of your body and you bit down on his bicep to keep from getting too loud. Your eyes were teary at this new depth, the way he just fit so perfectly into your cunt like you were made just for him. You sniffled leaning back against him wanting to be as close as possible while made him chuckle, ākeep your leg up.ā He commanded and took your hand bringing it down to your lower stomach where his cock bugles out and pressing down. You chocked on air feeling his cock move in and out of you, heightened the sensitivity, it was as if he knew (which he did) that spot would over activate your sweet spot. Your eyes widened and your jaw went slack once more; you couldnāt help the moans that escaped you. But he could, he gripped your lower face turning you to kiss him again swallowing up your moans, āfeel that baby?ā He whispered against your lips, āthatās how good I make you feel, you love it when I pump this cunt full huh?ā He asked and you nodded frantically, āyesā¦yes yes yes feels so goodā¦ā
Neteyam smiled into your lips once again, āfuck youāre clenching so hard babyā¦gonna cum on my cock?ā He asked speeding up his thrust once more, he was close too he wanted you to cum with him, and when you confirmed through a heavy moan you were close, he fucked info you faster. His grip tightened and so did yours, his hand that was in your stomach movedāwith yoursā back around your right thigh intertwining your fingers together as he fucked you. Your release hit you like a rough wave as he emptied himself in you at the same time. Neteyam came so much while his cock was thrusting more and more cum into you, he filled you to the brim, so much so that it leaked out the sides of your cunt even though he was still inside you.
You both came down from your high, cock still snug in you, and his hand rubbed up and down the side of your body, then he stopped and wrapped around you even more holding you there against him, the way it was always meant to be. āThat was incredibleā you bummed out making him chuckle. āI love you muntaxtanā you whispered to him, eyes closing. āI love you more tƬyawn.ā He said as he kissed your skin softly.
The fire crackled softly in front of you, casting flickering gold over the quiet curve of your back. The thin woven sheet barely covered the two of you, tangled between legs and limbs as you lay tucked between Neteyamās arms, your back to his chest. His breath brushed the curve of your neck, slow and even now, but his fingers hadnāt stopped tracing patterns into your skin. Outside, the night sang with insects and the oceanās lullaby. Inside, it was still. Warm. Full.
Neteyamās voice broke the silence gently, quiet and husky, his chin resting just above your shoulder. āI used to think home was a place. Forest. Sky. Clan.ā You hummed softly, fingers brushing over his as they danced across your stomach. He paused, then pressed a kiss to the back of your shoulder, reverent and slow. āBut I know now⦠home isnāt a place.ā He paused. āHome is who you fight for. Who you crawl back to. Who you breathe for.ā Another kiss, this one behind your ear. You felt the lump rise in your throat. He whispered it into your skin like it was prayer. āHome is You.ā
You turned your face toward him, eyes full and glistening, and he kissed you. A soft, sacred kiss ā not rushed, not fiery ā just full of love. Of peace. Of truth. In that moment, with your body tucked to his, the fire warming your feet, and the stars peeking through the cracks in the thatched ceiling, everything was exactly as it should be. You smiled against his mouth, your voice a whisper. āAnd youāre mine.ā He pulled you closer. Held you tighter. And there, beneath the soft songs of night and the gentle crackle of fire, the story that once felt like it shattered ā finally felt whole again.
š Likes comments and reblogs are always appreciated.
šI hope you all enjoyed reading this, honestly I tried to make it as realistic as possible, relationships are messy, especially when trauma is involved. So please any feedback Iād love to hear, and any ideas are welcome!
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