The Hardest Post Yet
This will probably be the hardest entry I write. This morning I woke up with a heavy heart, my iminent leaving placing a sadness upon it. I laid in bed and considered all that I will be leaving. There’s so many people here that I have grown close to, I feel like part of my heart will be uprooted when I leave. Living here for five months, this has become my home, and the thought of leaving it makes me so sick at heart.
I know that when I return to the States I will face a whirlwind of emotions. With reverse culture shock, missing my loved ones here, and having to give up the work I love. For those of you in the States, I ask for grace. I know I will come back and not be myself, I don’t expect anything less. But please know that I deeply care and love for you all in the States as well. It’s not that I don’t love my home back in the States, it’s that I love both my homes and my heart is torn between the two.
One of my friends told me that he doesn’t want to come to Paraguay because he sees how much the experience changed me- How I act and talk differently. I disagree with the premise, but fully agree in the observation. Know that when I come back this time I will be very different. Trust me, however, that this difference is a good thing, even when it doesn’t look like it. Again, I ask for grace.
At this point in time I’m not ready to talk about any future I might have in Paraguay. I have many ideas to come back within this year, but nothing is concrete. I pray that God would have it in His will to allow me to come back and continue ministry here. I know God called me to missions, I just hope He calls me to Paraguay as well.
I have a lot to process when I return to the United States and plan to continue this blog by talking about my reflections of the experience, as well as any updates on my future here in Paraguay.
To the Paraguayans and missionaries here, I love you and ask for grace.
To the friends and family back in the States, I love you and ask for grace.
I leave Paraguay June 11th, and land home June 12th.













