CHRONIC E.D.

I DRINK AN ENERGY DRINK

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HELLO. I AM GOING TO DRINK ENERGY DRINKS AND TALK ABOUT HOW I THINK THEY TASTE

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ROCKSTAR ZERO SUGAR STRAWBERRY LEMONADE

THE CORNER STORE DELIVERS YET ANOTHER UNTRIED FLAVOUR FOR MY DELECTATION. I CAN'T IMAGINE IT'LL BE BETTER THAN THEIR OTHER ZERO SUGAR LEMONADE I TRIED, WHICH WAS RATHER MEDIOCRE, BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT SMELLS PRETTY STRAWBERRY-Y, IN A PRETTY ARTIFICIAL WAY. IF THERE WAS SOME SORT OF STRAWBERRY SCENTED SILLY PUTTY FOR SALE, IT WOULD PROBABLY SMELL A LOT LIKE THIS ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER TASTE IS PRESENT, THOUGH IT AT LEAST DOES THE COURTESY OF NOT STICKING AROUND FOR VERY LONG AFTER SWALLOWING. FADES AFTER A FEW SIPS, TOO AS FOR THE REST OF THE FLAVOUR, IT'S WEIRDLY AMBIGUOUS. IF YOU READ THE CAN AND YOU KNOW IT'S GOING FOR STRAWBERRY LEMONADE, YOU'LL GET IT, BUT IT TASTES ALMOST SMUDGED, FOR LACK OF A BETTER WORD. MORE GENERICALLY SWEET WITH A HINT OF ARTIFICIAL STRAWBERRY THAN ANYTHING, WITH LEMON VERY MUCH IN THE BACKGROUND. IF YOU LIKE A TART OR SOUR LEMONADE, THIS ONE DEFINITELY ISN'T THE ONE FOR YOU, BECAUSE IT'S ALL SWEET THIS ONE STUMPED ME FOR A BIT BECAUSE IT IS VERY, VERY AVERAGE, AND I WAS STRUGGLING TO PINPOINT HOW I FELT ABOUT SOMETHING WITH SO FEW GOOD OR BAD QUALITIES. IF YOUR ONLY DESIRED QUALITIES IN AN IDEAL DRINK ARE "SWEET" AND "MILD AMOUNT OF ARTIFICIAL STRAWBERRY" THEN THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU. OTHERWISE YOU'LL PROBABLY JUST THINK NOTHING AT IT 5.5/10

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MONSTER ULTRA WILD PASSION

PASSION FRUIT IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS I'VE ONLY EVER REALLY HAD AS A FLAVOUR COMPLEMENTING OTHER FLAVOURS, SO THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I CAN REMEMBER HAVING SOMETHING THAT'S WHOLLY PASSION FRUIT FOCUSED. HAVING NEVER EATEN A REAL PASSION FRUIT, THIS'LL ALSO BE PRETTY MUCH MY ONLY FRAME OF REFERENCE FOR WHAT IT TASTES LIKE ON ITS OWN VERY FAINT SMELL THAT CONTAINS THE BAREST WHIFF OF SOMETHING FRUITY TASTES OF IMPLACABLE, ALMOST GENERIC FRUIT FLAVOUR. MAYBE HALFWAY BETWEEN GUAVA AND THE ARTIFICIAL TROPICAL FLAVOUR YOU ENCOUNTER IN CHEAP CANDIES AND DRINKS NOT BAD. YOU GET A MILD, SWEET, FRUITY FLAVOUR THAT ISN'T TOO WEIRD, WITH ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER FLAVOUR THAT IS PRESENT ENOUGH TO KEEP YOU AWARE THAT YOU'RE DRINKING A ZERO SUGAR DRINK WITHOUT BEING REALLY BAD LIKE SOME DRINKS DO IT THIS MONSTER ULTRA TASTES LIKE A FLAVOUR CELSIUS WOULD MAKE ON A GOOD DAY. THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER MONSTER FLAVOURS THAT I WOULD PICK OVER THIS, BUT I WOULDN'T TURN MY NOSE UP AT THIS IF GIVEN A CAN 6.5/10

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YERBA MADRE WATERMELON

APPARENTLY THIS FLAVOUR IS CALLED "WATERMELODY" IN THE US, BUT CANADA IS NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE MUSICAL REFERENCES IN ANY FOOD RELATED PRODUCT HERE UNDER PAIN OF DEATH, SO IT'S JUST CALLED WATERMELON HERE SMELLS OF VERY SWEET ARTIFICIAL WATERMELON. DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO GET A MILD SORT OF WATERMELON FLAVOUR, I THINK; THIS SMELLS LIKE IT'S GOING TO TASTE LIKE YOU TOOK A BUNCH OF THOSE GUMMY WATERMELON CANDIES AND MELTED THEM DOWN INTO A SYRUP

THANK GOD, I WAS WRONG; IT DOES NOT TASTE AS STRONG AS IT SMELLED. THE WATERMELON FLAVOUR IS ACTUALLY VERY MILD, AND UNLIKE THE ORANGE FLAVOUR, IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE ACID REFLUX IT DOES HAVE A SLIGHT BIT OF FUNKINESS TO IT IN A SIMILAR SORT OF VEIN TO THE ORANGE, BUT IT'S ONLY FOR A MOMENT AFTER YOUR FIRST SIP AND IT FADES WITHIN A SECOND OR TWO. BUT WHILE IT AVOIDS THE GROSSNESS OF THE ORANGE, IT DOESN'T REALLY HAVE MUCH GOING FOR IT OTHERWISE. IT'S A VERY WATERY TASTING DRINK. I GUESS IF YOU WANT SOME YERBA MATE BUT YOU DON'T WANT YOUR EXPERIENCE TO BE SULLIED BY SUCH THINGS AS FLAVOUR, THEN THIS IS THE ONE TO PICK THIS IS WORSE THAN THE MINT FLAVOUR, BUT I CAN'T RATE IT TOO LOW BECAUSE IT JUST DOESN'T TASTE LIKE MUCH. SO IT GETS A VERY MIDDLE OF THE ROAD SCORE 5.5/10 (ALSO, THEY CHANGED THEIR BRAND NAME? FUUUUCK, NOW WHAT DO I TAG THIS AS? WHATEVER, I'LL TAG IT AS THEIR OLD NAME AND THEIR NEW NAME)

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I JUST FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS MONSTER FLAVOUR THAT LOOKS GOOD AS HELL, AND ALSO THAT THEY APPARENTLY STOPPED SELLING IT IN NORTH AMERICA. WHAT THE HELL? WHY MUST THEY PULL ALL OF THE COOL FLAVOURS

APPARENTLY IT'S STILL SOLD IN BRAZIL, AS FAR AS I CAN TELL. BRAZIL WINS AGAIN

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RED BULL SUDACHI LIME

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS ONE, BOTH BECAUSE IT WAS SLATED TO RELEASE IN BOTH SUGARFREE AND FULL SUGAR IN MY AREA (UNLIKE GRAPEFRUIT BLOSSOM) AND BECAUSE IT SOUNDED LIKE A GOOD FLAVOUR SMELLS VERY CITRUS-Y IN A VERY PLEASANT WAY. LIKE THE SCENT OF RIPPING OPEN A THICK SKINNED ORANGE, OR MAYBE A POMELO. GOOD STUFF THAT'S NICE. A VERY SLIGHT BITTER NOTE THAT IS ACTUALLY COMPLEMENTARY TO THE DRINK INSTEAD OF AN ACCIDENTAL CHEMICAL NOTE OF BITTERNESS LIKE ENERGY DRINKS USUALLY GET. CITRUS FLAVOUR THAT IS NOT MILD TO THE POINT OF BEING BORING, BUT ISN'T OVERPOWERING LIKE YOU'RE CHUGGING A CLASS OF SYRUPY TANG™. IT'S JUST RIGHT I'M ENJOYING THIS PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT I WOULD. REMINDS ME A BIT OF THE ONE TIME I GOT TO TRY SOME YUZU TEA. RED BULL DONE DID A GOOD ONE HERE, IF YOU ENJOY CITRUS THEN ABSOLUTELY GIVE THIS ONE A TRY. I ONLY SAW THESE SOLD IN PACKS OF 4 INSTEAD OF AS INDIVIDUAL CANS, SO I GOT A 4 PACK AND I REGRET NOTHING 8.5/10

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GURU TROPICAL PUNCH

I REVIEWED THE ORGANIC VERSION OF THIS WITH GUAYASA EARLIER. I DID NOT LIKE IT. A LOT OF THE BITTERNESS WAS PROBABLY DUE TO THE GUAYASA, I'D IMAGINE, SO THIS ONE IS ANGLING TO RECEIVE A BETTER RATING SMELLS OKAY. DISTINCTIVELY TROPICAL, BUT CHEAP TROPICAL. IF YOU GOT TROPICAL FLAVOURED FLAVOR AID, IT'D PROBABLY TASTE LIKE THIS STRONG ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER TASTE. FAKE AND RATHER UNAPPEALING TROPICAL FLAVOUR. NOT THAT BITTER, SO IT'S AT LEAST BETTER IN THAT AREA COMPARED TO THE ORGANIC VERSION THERE'S GOTTA BE BETTER TROPICAL ENERGY DRINKS OUT THERE THAN THIS. I COULD DRINK A CAN OF THIS IF OFFERED IT, BUT I WOULD GO FOR PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING ELSE BEFOREHAND 3.5/10

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MONSTER PUNCH VIKING BERRY

I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS ONE BEFORE, SO IT FIGURES THAT THE FIRST PLACE I'D SEE IT IS THE LOCALLY OWNED CORNER STORE, WHICH SEEMS TO ALWAYS BEAT WALMART AND THE OTHER SUPERSTORES TO THE "PUNCH" (EXTREMELY LOUD CANNED LAUGHTER) SMELLS A LITTLE BIT OF BERRY AND A LITTLE BIT LIKE WHAT I THINK MIGHT BE ARTIFICIAL GRAPEFRUIT. VAGUELY REMINISCENT OF RED BULL WILD BERRY; IF IT TASTES SIMILAR TO THAT THEN THIS MIGHT WIND UP RANKING VERY HIGH TASTES LIKE IF YOU STRIPPED THE WILD BERRY RED BULL OF THE FLORAL NOTES THAT MADE IT SO UNIQUELY APPEALING. THIS IS NOT TO SAY IT TASTES BAD: IT'S QUITE MILD, SWEET, VAGUELY BERRY IN A WAY THAT IS NOT OVERLY ARTIFICIAL TASTING BUT IS STILL UNPLACEABLE. SO IT TASTES PERFECTLY FINE, IT'S JUST THAT IN COMPARISON TO RED BULL'S WILD BERRY FLAVOUR IT CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL VERY SECOND RATE THIS MONSTER IS PERFECTLY FINE ON ITS OWN MERITS, THOUGH IT DOES FEEL A BIT MILD IN COMPARISON TO OTHER MONSTER PUNCH FLAVOURS. HOWEVER, IF YOU'VE TRIED THE RED BULL THEN YOU'LL BE PERPETUALLY AWARE YOU'RE MISSING OUT AS YOU DRINK THIS, WHICH IS REALLY THE WORST PART ABOUT IT 7/10

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ALANI BLUE SLUSH

I DIDN'T INTEND TO GRAB THIS ONE, BUT I SAW IT WHEN I WENT TO THE CORNER STORE TO GET COLA AND HAD TO GET IT. NEW ENERGY DRINK FLAVOURS ARE A RARITY AROUND HERE AND I CANNOT PASS UP ANY OPPORTUNITY THIS ONE'S OBVIOUSLY GONNA BE BLUE RASPBERRY. SMELLS A LITTLE WEIRD. IT'S SWEET AND ALMOST CITRUS ADJACENT, WHICH IS NICE, BUT ALSO SMELLS A LITTLE ARTIFICIAL IN A WAY THAT REMINDS ME OF POLYMER CLAY. NOT REPULSIVE OR OVERPOWERING THOUGH, SO I CAN ABIDE A LITTLE CHEMICAL TWINGE YEAH, THAT IS RECOGNIZABLY BLUE RASPBERRY, SO AS FAR AS BEING BLUE RASPBERRY IS CONCERNED IT'S FINE. UNSURPRISINGLY, YOU STILL GET THAT ARTIFICIAL NOTE, BUT IT DOESN'T TASTE LIKE A CHEMICAL SLURRY LIKE SOME OF THE WORSE ENERGY DRINKS. IT ALSO DOESN'T HAVE A COMPLETE LACK OF FLAVOUR LIKE SOME OF THE BAD DIET ONES. NO UNPLEASANT AFTERTASTE EITHER; ALL OF ITS SLIGHT CHEMICAL TASTE IS UPFRONT, WHERE IT CAN BE DROWNED OUT BY THE BLUE RASPBERRY FLAVOUR THIS IS A PRETTY GOOD SHOWING FROM ALANI. IF YOU ARE REALLY AGAINST THE USUAL TASTES YOU GET FROM SUGAR FREE DRINKS THEN YOU MIGHT NOT LIKE THIS ONE, BECAUSE IT DOES HAVE AN ARTIFICIAL TWIST TO IT, BUT IF YOU ARE THE TYPE OF PERSON WHO LIKES BLUE RASPBERRY THEN YOU OUGHT TO BE ACCEPTING OF SOME CHEMICAL IN YOUR FLAVOUR. AFTER ALL, BLUE RASPBERRY IS ALL CHEMICALS ANYWAY 7/10

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ROCKSTAR ZERO SUGAR DRAGON FRUIT

WHILE I HAVE HAD DRAGON FRUIT IN THE PAST, IT WAS AWHILE BACK AND I DON'T REMEMBER IT VERY STRONGLY, SO I'LL PROBABLY PAY LESS MIND AS TO WHETHER IT ACTUALLY TASTES LIKE DRAGON FRUIT AND MORE AS TO WHETHER OR NOT IT TASTES ANY GOOD IN GENERAL SMELLS A BIT WEIRD IN A WAY THAT'S HARD TO PLACE, BUT GENERALLY LIKE A SWEET FRUITY DRINK, SO IT HOPEFULLY WON'T GO TOO AWRY TASTES TOO SWEET. IT'S KIND OF LIKE AN OVERLY SWEET PEAR. IT HAS THE SAME SORT OF EXCESSIVELY SWEET TASTE THAT SWEETENED SPARKLING WATER DRINKS TEND TO HAVE (USUALLY THE CHEAP ONES) ALRIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? SCRATCH EVERYTHING I SAID AT THE START: I WENT AND ACTUALLY TRIED SOME DRAGON FRUIT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN SEVERAL YEARS, SO THAT I COULD MORE EFFECTIVELY CONSIDER THIS ROCKSTAR. VERY MILD STUFF. TASTED A BIT PUMPKIN-Y, ALMOST. ALL OF WHICH IS TO SAY IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE THIS ROCKSTAR BUT ALL THAT ASIDE, MY MAIN PROBLEM WITH THIS ROCKSTAR IS STILL THAT IT TASTES TOO SWEET. IT ISN'T UNDRINKABLY SO, BUT YOU'D BE BETTER SERVED BY GOING FOR OTHER FLAVOURS/BRANDS. THIS IS ONE THAT I'LL FINISH AND THEN NEVER THINK ABOUT OR SEEK OUT AGAIN 5.5/10

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MONSTER RESERVE PEACHES N' CREME

I FORGOT TO TRY THIS ONE UNTIL NOW BECAUSE IT'S RIGHT NEXT TO THE MONSTER REHAB ON THE SHELF, AND WHENEVER I LOOK AT IT I USUALLY JUST WIND UP GRABBING A MONSTER REHAB TEA & LEMONADE INSTEAD SMELLS OF PEACH. ALSO TASTES OF PEACH. MAKES ME THINK OF PEACH FLAVOURED YOGURT, HONESTLY. PROBABLY 'CAUSE IT TASTES PARTICULARLY SWEET, COMBINED WITH THE WHOLE CREME ASPECT. IT'S NOT BAD AT ALL, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE OTHER PEACH AND PEACH-ADJACENT ENERGY DRINKS THAT I HAVE FORMED A PREFERENCE FOR AND WOULD PROBABLY CHOOSE OVER THIS I DON'T HAVE MUCH TO SAY ABOUT THIS ONE BECAUSE IT'S HONESTLY PRETTY GOOD, JUST A TOUCH TOO SWEET AND SOFT FOR ME. NOS TASTES LIKE A HARSHER PEACH-LIKE FLAVOUR TO ME AND THIS JUST SORTA MAKES ME WANT ONE OF THOSE. BUT IF YOU LIKE PEACHES N' CREME THEN THIS WILL PROBABLY DELIVER WHAT YOU WANT, IT DOES A GOOD JOB OF GIVING WHAT'S ADVERTISED 7/10

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NOS ZERO SUGAR

I TRIED FULL SUGAR NOS AWHILE BACK, AND MY FEELINGS TOWARDS IT WERE PRETTY POSITIVE. I'VE ACTUALLY STARTED TO ENJOY IT EVEN MORE SINCE I FIRST TRIED IT, AND IF I TRIED IT NOW I WOULD PROBABLY BUMP IT UP BY ANOTHER HALF A POINT, MAYBE EVEN A WHOLE POINT. HOWEVER, I HAVE NEVER TRIED THE ZERO SUGAR ONE BEFORE SMELLS ABOUT THE SAME, THAT SORT OF PEACHY SCENT. TASTE IS NOTICEABLY WEAKER. ONLY A SLIGHT AFTERTASTE, BUT SAID AFTERTASTE CONSISTS SOLELY OF THE FAINTEST HINT OF ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER, NONE OF THE FLAVOUR OF THE ACTUAL DRINK YOU COULD PROBABLY LUMP MOST DIET VERSIONS OF REGULAR DRINKS INTO TWO CATEGORIES: RED BULL ZERO, WHERE THEY TRY TO IMITATE THE FULL FLAVOUR OF THE ORIGINAL (AND SOMETIMES MAKE IT TASTE WEIRD AND VERY CHEMICAL), OR RED BULL SUGARFREE, WHERE THEY DON'T BOTHER AND JUST MAKE IT TASTE LIKE A LIGHTER VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL (YOU COULD ALSO PROBABLY MAKE THOSE DIVISIONS USING THE LABELS OF PEPSI ZERO AND DIET PEPSI, BUT ANYWAY) OF THOSE TWO CATEGORIES, THIS IS DEFINITELY LEANING WAY MORE TOWARDS RED BULL SUGARFREE. IT TASTES LIKE A WAY LIGHTER NOS WITH A FLAVOUR THAT DOES NOT LINGER FOR MORE THAN HALF A SECOND AFTER SWALLOWING NOT BAD. NOT AS GOOD AS REGULAR NOS. IT'S ALRIGHT 6.5/10

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GURU ZERO WILD ICE POP

VERY FAINT SMELL, SLIGHTLY REMINISCENT OF A WHITE FREEZIE BUT ULTIMATELY TOO WEAK TO ACTUALLY PINPOINT. ALSO, I JUST REALISED THAT THE FRENCH NAME FOR THIS ONE IS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FROM THE ENGLISH ONE--FROZEN LEMONADE VS WILD ICE POP. DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON THERE THE TASTE STARTS OFF AS VERY ARTIFICIAL AND BORDERLINE HARSH, WITH LEMONY FLAVOUR THAT REMINDS YOU MORE OF LEMON DISH SOAP THAN ANYTHING ELSE. DOWNRIGHT UNPLEASANT THIS MELLOWS OUT THE MORE YOU SIP IT, BUT IT NEVER SHAKES THAT ARTIFICIAL CHEMICAL FLAVOUR, AND IT DOESN'T WIND UP TASTING GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE IT WORTHWHILE. IT'S JUST MEDIOCRE ICE POP. THERE'S ALSO A BIT OF AN ODD AFTERTASTE, JUST TO REALLY HAMMER HOME THAT IT ISN'T WORTHWHILE OVERALL: NOT OUTRIGHT DISGUSTING, BUT PROBABLY NOT ANYTHING YOU'LL WANT TO TRY MORE THAN ONCE 3.5/10

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ROCKSTAR ZERO SUGAR MANGO STRAWBERRY

SMELLS PRETTY NICE. MANGO-Y AND STRAWBERRY-Y. HEY, WAIT A SECOND

IS THIS DIFFERENT FROM ROCKSTAR PURE ZERO STRAWBERRY MANGO? MAYBE THIS IS JUST ONE OF THOSE SITUATIONS WHERE THEY USE DIFFERENT SWEETENER BLENDS. WELP, I GET THE FEELING THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE A BIT CHEMICAL TASTING, BUT NOT EGREGIOUSLY SO. GOT A TOUCH OF THAT CHEAP ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER AFTERTASTE. IT'S ALRIGHT. IT'S AN INOFFENSIVE FRUIT FLAVOUR THAT'S KEPT FIRMLY IN AVERAGE TERRITORY FROM WHATEVER SWEETENERS AND CHEMICALS IT'S GOT GOING ON, BUT IT'S SLIGHTLY ABOVE MEDIOCRE COMPARED TO THE REVIEW I GAVE THE PURE ZERO VERSION, IT SEEMS LIKE THIS ONE HAS A BIT MORE FLAVOUR, BUT THE SWEETENER BLEND IS NOT AS GOOD--WHICH WINDS UP CANCELLING OUT AND GIVING IT THE EXACT SAME SCORE. PICK YOUR POISON, I GUESS 6/10

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C4 FROZEN BOMBSICLE

MY ENERGY DRINK COMPATRIOT ALREADY TRIED THIS ONE AND SAID THAT FROZEN BOMBSICLE DIDN'T TRANSLATE OVER WELL TO DRINK FORM AND GAVE IT A 5/10, BUT I SHALL TRY TO COME AT IT WITH AN OPEN MIND AND FORM MY OWN THOUGHTS ON IT SMELLS VERY FAINTLY OF SWEET VINEGAR AND BLUEBERRY. KINDA WEIRD SCENT, BUT ALSO I MIGHT BE JUST IMAGINING STUFF BECAUSE YOU CAN BARELY SMELL IT, SO IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER ONE WAY OR THE OTHER THANKFULLY, IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE VINEGAR. IT TASTES LIKE A MELTED WHITE (OR MAYBE BLUE) FREEZIE, BUT WITH MORE ARTIFICIAL SWEETENER AND A HINT OF DUST. MAYBE 5% CHERRY COUGH SYRUP TASTE KICKING AROUND IN THE BACKGROUND

IT'S NOT OUTRIGHT DISGUSTING, BUT IT'S NOT VERY GOOD. YET ANOTHER ADDITION TO THE "SUBPAR BUT TOLERABLE" PILE 4/10

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REIGN ENERGY WHITE HAZE

AT FIRST I THOUGHT IT SMELLED A BIT LIKE GRAPEFRUIT, BUT UPON A FEW ADDITIONAL SNIFFS, I REALISE THE SMELL IS MORE LIKE A TOOTSIE ROLL THAT HAS A VERY SLIGHT BITTER/TART TANG LIKE YOU'D GET FROM GRAPEFRUIT, AND ALSO MORE OF THAT TOOTSIE ROLL FLAVOUR--BUT ALL A BIT WEAK, KIND OF LIKE A WHITE MONSTER. IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE GOING FOR HERE? BECAUSE IT DOES GENUINELY TASTE LIKE THEY HAD A WHITE MONSTER AND WENT "HMM, NEEDS MORE TOOTSIE ROLL" I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHO THIS FLAVOUR IS MEANT TO APPEAL TO. IT ISN'T NECESSARILY BAD, IT'S JUST A REALLY WEIRD COMBINATION THAT I CAN'T IMAGINE ANYONE ACTUALLY GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY FOR. IF YOU ARE THE SORT WHO WANTS A WHITE MONSTER, GET A WHITE MONSTER. DON'T GET REIGN'S WEIRD KNOCKOFF WHERE THEY ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED A TOOTSIE ROLL INTO THE VATS IT DOES TASTE A BIT STRONGER THAN I RECALL WHITE MONSTER TASTING, WHICH CANCELS OUT THE TOOTSIE WEIRDNESS TO THE POINT WHERE I'LL GIVE THIS THE SAME RATING I GAVE TO WHITE MONSTER. THAT BEING SAID, I ALREADY DIDN'T ESPECIALLY LIKE WHITE MONSTER, SO THAT ISN'T SAYING MUCH 4/10

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GUAYAKI YERBA MATE ENLIGHTEN MINT

UNSURPRISINGLY, I DO NOT HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR THIS ONE, AFTER HAVING TRIED THE ORANGE FLAVOUR SMELLS LIKE MINT. NOT MUCH TO SAY ON THAT FRONT, REALLY. POP OPEN A PACK OF MINT-FLAVOURED LISTERINE BREATH STRIPS AND GIVE IT A SNIFF, IT'LL SMELL MUCH LIKE THIS DRINK DOES

THIS ACTUALLY TASTES MUCH BETTER THAN THE ORANGE ONE, BECAUSE IT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO CONSTANTLY COMPARE IT TO ACID REFLUX. IT JUST TASTES LIKE MINT, IN A PRETTY MILD AND REFRESHING WAY. IT APPEARS THAT MINT IS PERFECT FOR COUNTERING THE UNPLEASANT FLAVOURS OF YERBA MATE IF YOU LIKE MINT, YOU'LL LIKE THIS. THAT'S PRETTY MUCH THE LONG AND SHORT OF IT: THERE'S NOTHING TO THE TASTE EXCEPT MINT, NOT TOO OVERPOWERING OR LINGERING, NOT TOO WEAK I DON'T KNOW HOW OFTEN I'LL GO OUT OF MY WAY TO GRAB THIS ONE, SIMPLY BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW OFTEN I'LL WANT MINT FLAVOUR AND CAFFEINE ROLLED INTO ONE PACKAGE, BUT IT REALLY ISN'T BAD AT ALL. PLUS, IT'S PRETTY MUCH GOT THE MARKET CORNERED ON MINT ENERGY DRINKS. I CERTAINLY HAVEN'T SEEN ANY OTHERS (IS IT ACCURATE TO CALL THIS AN ENERGY DRINK? EH, THEY SUPPLEMENTED IT WITH 150MG OF CAFFEINE, IT'S PROBABLY A CLOSE ENOUGH DESCRIPTOR) 7/10