Betty :)

21 🧸 deaf 🧸 writer

[chronically-betty]

Never mind, I'll tell you later.

Whenever I ask someone to repeat they always say 'Never mind' which is like a swear word to the Deaf Community. We HATE that word, at least I do. No matter how many times I ask someone to.

Please face me when speaking,

Repeat from this particular point on,

Rephrase the statement,

or

Write it down

They just grunt, roll their eyes or say 'never mind or I will tell you later" which never happens.

It`s not that hard to rephrase, or just turn around facing me when speaking. We won't have any complications. But some people just make a big deal out of it.

Patience is key. But I understand some people just don't have it. But if you're engaging with deaf people all day, you need to be patient or learn to be or at least learn to accommodate.

It's hurtful to be in a group conversation, not getting what is going on while everyone is laughing at that joke…when we cant hear it. We are constantly confused and we ask for repeats, or what did the person say…when we dont get a response but a shrug of annoyance, yes I am paying attention, i just dont understand everything. Now, please, can you kindly repeat or rephrase the statement. Or at least try not to leave me out.

Usually when its a group conversation, deaf people are the most quietest. Why? Because we are trying to lipread and figure out what each person is saying all at once.

We do have so much to say but once we caught on to what is being said, our response is too late because people are onto a next topic.

So please, next time when you are with a deaf person ask if they are catching onto what is being said, or if they understand, if they need anything repeated. Dont get annoyed or frustrated because "They didnt hear you" its hard enough trying to hear all the noise around us. We cannot just 'tune out' certain sounds. Especially when one wear hearing aids. Hearing aids amplify ALL sounds around us, including background noise which makes it harder to understand the person, or surrounding. Dont get frustrated when we stop you and ask for repeating and you say “Sorry, I dont have time! Figure it out on your own!" it just takes 2 extra seconds to rephrase and repeat. That is it.

[chronically-betty]

You ever wanna see how someone eles would be in your own shoes. Just give up your life and swap for a day.

[thehopefulquotes]

“I can’t go to yesterday because I was a different person then.”

— Lewis Carrol, Alice in Wonderland

[chronically-betty]

been a while but want to start using this platform more often :)

Im a deaf writer and poet, and am wanting to socialise a bit more and share my writing with people 🧸

[caitas-cooing]

Reblog this post if you are professionally diagnosed and you support informed self diagnosis and you hate people accusing others of faking disorders when they have no evidence to support that

[lies-of-eternity]

Everything is full of grief until you romanticize it.

[chronically-betty]

you ever just write, nothing in particular, just write.

thats what i do about you, nothing in particular, nothing worth showing or sharing, but its enough to write and have some meaning in my mind

[chronically-betty]

YES IM DEAF

YES I WEAR HEADPHONES

ALSO YES I DO NEED A HEARING AID

there is a large spectrum of D/deaf and HoH, everyone can be at different levels of deafness

[chronically-betty]

i really want more deaf and hard of hearing friends, i have none and the friends i do have, none if them know sign language and so when i want a break from my hearing aids or have a bad hearing day i struggle with communication.

preferably in the uk though ahah, i use bsl and sse.

[chronically-betty]

when you take me out on a date, forget about buying me dinner. forget about the being ‘nicely dressed’ and finding a nice place to go and get a drink.

take me to a field or by a lake or the sea, sit and read with me untill the sun sets. lets buy snacks and juice, lets just lie down and read to one another or compare our books and make a list of books we each want the other to read.

just be with me in the moment, not surrounded by expensive things or food, or surrounded bu hundreds of people in the middle of town, lets just be surrounded by books, nature and each other <3

[chronically-betty]

Dinner Table Syndrome

i dont think this is actually mentioned much, for thoes of you who might have not heard this phrase ‘dinner table syndrome’ is a term which can be commonly used in the deaf community. It the part of socialising where a deaf person is woth other (hearing) at a meal, having drink or even just talking in general and they cant hear or understand what is being said. It can be used for anything, not only a meal or sitting at a table (although it dinner table synrome ahah).

Often deaf or hard of hearing people may dread and not look forward to a event where there will be a few people or a party or going to a restaurant. This is because of not hearing people so not being involed in the conversation, many jokes different conversations of different topic can be happening and more than 1 person talking at once. Deaf and hard of hearing people may be able to lipread or hear slight words but this can mean they concentrate alot harder then a hearing person to listen to someone, which can kill their social battery too.

‘Dinner table syndrome’ can have the effect of loneliness, frustration, anger, stress or even unimportance, especially if someone say ‘it doesmt matter, ill tell you later’ if you have asked them to repeat the selves. the loneliness can become i tense as we feel left out of the conversation and group, deaf or hard of hearing people dont hear what is going on and they can become tired of lipreading or concentrating (concentration fatigue) and so they may lose intrest and begin to feel lonely or frustrated.

growing up ive always struggled to go to meals pr put with my family and also friends as ive struggled to hear them. Some of my friends and family have always been patient with me and repeated themselves but sometimes i jsut feel too awkward to ask them. Often ill end up going on my phoen just endlessly scrolling thruogh instagram or tumblr untill my phone died or someone tells me to get off my phone and stop being anti-social. But as anti social as it makes me, its easier then sitting there and trying to figure out what is being said and feeling left out. After ive been out for a evening wirh my family or a day with my friends, i stay in bed a long ass time the next day and have a hearing break as i often need to recharge my social battery ahah.

[chronically-betty]

so im writing a story about a couple (wlw) one of them is deaf and the other is not. i am deaf myself however i would like someone eles imput on it aswell, like is there anything you think should 100% be included about deafness.

also if you are deaf and have been in a relationship with a hearing lerson, or the other way around. what kinda things have been a issue or been a adjustment.

[chronically-betty]

I'm not rude because I'm deaf, I just feel left out

Getting tired of people saying that I’m 'not a good enough friend' or 'loyal' or whatever because I don’t spend time with them. It’s not that I’m not a ‘good enough friend’ it’s because it can be so emotionally and physically draining going out everyday wearing my hearing aid and listening to people, I have to try so hard to listen and half the time I can’t even hear a single thing that’s being said. I lipread and I can’t do that because of the masks right now. And not even that it’s tiring, it’s frustrating, when I can’t hear what is being said I don’t always want to say pardon because I feel like I’m annoying the person, so I just leave it and not talk. That makes me feel worse as well because then I’m being left out. It's lonely and this is why I'd rather message and text you instead. It’s no ones fault and I’m not blaming anyone but please just understand that I’m not in a mood or annoyed with you, I just don’t have the energy to ask you what you said or to even talk and be involved. Just imagine how you would feel, imagine being in a room which is so loud, full of sounds or/ and music and someone talking to you, you wont be able to hear them but you may be able to make out what they are saying by lipreading. Now imagine they are wearing a face mask and you can only see their eyes. Its pretty much impossible, and you would feel so frustrated. that's how deaf and hard of hearing people feel most of the time while out with hearing people. Not everyone is like this, sometimes we can get makes who are amazing and make us feel included, and that is something which is hard as hell to come by, but we love those mates. <3

[chronically-betty]

want to make a snapchat group chat with deaf and hard of hearing teens (ages from 14-19). i know some people don’t have any other deaf people in their life and so they may feel out out or uncomfortable, or even just want a deaf friends.

it doesn’t matter if your profoundly deaf, or hard of hearing or whatever. if your completely deaf, or just have a mild hearing loss, your welcome. (also it doesn’t matter if you know sign language in different languages to others)

drop your snapchat username in the comment and i’ll add you and make one <3

[chronically-betty]

them: excuse me, the queue has gone down can you love forwards.

me: *completely ignoring them because i can’t hear them.*

them: hello? *getting annoyed and angry because i’m ignoring them *

me:

my friend: comes over and starts signing to me. acknowledges the person behinds me and says hi.

them: thinking she can hear her because she can talk and continues to speak to us..

Me and my friend are both deaf, we do talk and we do also sign. Don’t expect people to not be deaf if they can talk.... WE CAN TALK BECAUSE WE HAVE VOCAL CORDS. OUR DEAFNESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH OUR VOICES

[chronically-betty]

If i ignore you, it will be one of two reasons why.

1) i’m deaf

2) i’m ignoring you

good luck finding out which one :)

[chronically-betty]

can you all follow my instagram page which i’ve created for deaf awareness. it would mean a lot 🖤🤍

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