chronically lost

non-binary l they/them l 5’6 SW: 137 lbs l CW: 117.4 lbs GW 1: 114 lbs l GW 2: 110 lbs UGW: 97 lbs

[gxrlcrxmb]

[hunter-run-blog]

I want to have the waist of an angel.

[chronically-lost]

was hoping that coffee would be a lax but NO i still can’t shit :((

i would eat fiber or smth but i’m fasting until dinner so idk...guess i gotta just deal with it

[thxnspo-1]

pls reblog if you’re ACTUALLY an active edtumblr blog in dec 2020 pls my feed is dry :)

[chronically-lost]

i binged i binges i actually deserve to die why can’t i just fucking restrict?? god i want to die i want to die i want to die please let me die i’m worthless i don’t have a fucking ounce of self control i am so tired it’s not worth it anymore

[rotten-berri]

me: *is even the slightest bit warm*

brain: it's all that extra fat

me:

[whatsausernamelove-deactivated2]

If you are an active ana blog in November 2020 interact with this. I need new people to follow. My dash is looking a little dry

20/11/20

[rodw3n]

I want…

fragile, thin hands with loong, pretty fingers. Clear nailpolish looks like art on them. Winter gives them a small blush causing your bae to bring them close to their mouth and make them warmer. Coffee cups and tea mugs suddenly feel a lot heavier, and holding onto them is easier now because you can pull your elegant fingers through the handle.

[0kcalcaffeinefuel]

Weight loss cat!

You’ve been visited by the weight loss kitty, it’s cheering for you.

You’ll lose more than 10 lbs this month, the cat believes.

Reblog to activate!

[iridescentcosmicwitch]

I reblog stuff like this because I believe that if we keep putting positive affirmations into our brains, whether consciously or unconsciously, we act in ways to make those affirmations come true.

If you look at it that way, it’s easier to “believe” any of these things because they’re reminders to keep at it!

[chronically-lost]

i could look like this if i had just an ounce of discipline

[chronically-lost]

it sounds so awful...but i don’t really have a reason to stop self harming. i mean, my one thing is that i’m running out of space on my thighs and want to still be able to wear shorts...but that’s not exactly motivation. i feel like it’s the only thing that makes me feel when i’m numb, so why give it up?

fuck.

and if i tell anyone, i’d be forced to recover and i don’t want to give up the option of being able to cut...bc that’s how fucked up i am. i don’t know anymore. tomorrow i’ll probably look at this and laugh bc how could i even consider recovering?

i feel like i’m living in a prison and i have the key, but i’d rather carve that key into my skin then use it to turn the lock.

[tamyyy55]

Just what I needed today 💪🏼

[chronically-lost]

just wanna be tiny and fragile right now

[chronically-lost]

two pounds in two days, motherfuckers!

finally escaping my extended binge and it feels invigorating.

[bakwaaas]

is anyone else like....... exhausted? just way too tired? mentally and physically? and you look at other people your age who seem to be doing fine and you feel so dysfunctional and broken because normal adult tasks and responsibilities just feel way too overwhelming and you can’t cope and

[chronically-lost]

you want to know something fucked up?

i think there’s a big part of me that is reinforcing my eating disorder and propelling it forward because i need the attention that i’ll get when i’m underweight. when i feel like i’m suffocating under the pressure of school and extracurriculars and college apps i know that if i just get sick enough, my parents will realize what they’re doing to me and let me recover mentally. i just. really really need a break and my fucked up brain believes that spiraling into self destruction is the only way to do that.

[chronically-lost]

i promised myself long ago i wouldn’t. i promised myself i promised myself i promised myself—but i can barely remember that now. there’s no space on my hips now and everything else will be seen,

and i can’t stop looking at them, picturing the blade, knowing after that there’s no turning back. the wrist—such a volatile place, a public place, a deliciously dangerous place.

i shouldn’t do it i can’t i need to—i don’t know where to go from here.