finally back with another chapter of this fic, along with commissioned art! thanks so much to @beesandfigsart for bringing this scene to life! I have it so bad for these two, and you captured them so well!
When social media influencer Josie Hamilton is scouted for Love Island, she jumps at the chance. She’s not looking for love or commitment, but she’d be crazy to turn down the opportunity and the added exposure it’ll bring her. Even if she doesn’t win it all, she can turn the experience into a greater following and lucrative sponsorships.
She just needs to couple up with someone long enough to win the hearts of the public and get to the final.
Feelings are optional… right?
He’s probably going to leave me worse off, but I don’t mind it 😊
Tagging🏷️(no pressure)
@richardsthirdnipple @lilyofthevall @chrkrose @princesssszzzz @khleesi59 @nettlesdefensesquad @aldaphrodite @asiababy1903 and anyone else who wants to be tagged 😊
Thank you, @witheredoffherwitch and @bohemian-nights for the tag.
Should I be scared?
I'm insanely attracted to Gemma, and Pilou will have so many things to answer for. It'll be a gossip session about D and D, so either way, I'll be worse off.
When social media influencer Josie Hamilton is scouted for Love Island, she jumps at the chance. She’s not looking for love or commitment, but she’d be crazy to turn down the opportunity and the added exposure it’ll bring her. Even if she doesn’t win it all, she can turn the experience into a greater following and lucrative sponsorships.
She just needs to couple up with someone long enough to win the hearts of the public and get to the final.
Feelings are optional… right?
Roberto just wants this Stick or Twist ceremony to be over so he can leave the villa, like he should have done the night his girl was dumped.
But sometimes, things have a way of working themselves out…
Rating: Teen
Words: 2,440
Read on AO3
(or read under the cut!)
Roberto runs a hand over his weary face as he takes his seat on the bench around the fire pit. The glow of the flickering flames should give him a sense of warmth, but he’s been cold ever since a few nights earlier, when he watched his girl walk out of the villa.
Andi.
God, he was an idiot not to walk out right then and there. But the boys convinced him to give it a day or two first, to make sure his feelings were real. After all, they’ve only known each other a couple weeks, and they live in different countries, for chrissakes. He would be crazy to chase after her, wouldn’t he? Things on the outside aren’t the same as things in the villa, or so the boys said. But being without her only confirmed what he’s known all along, since the night he first laid eyes on her — she’s the one for him.
But then the girls were swept off to Casa Amor, and a new set of girls came in. The guys encouraged him to get to know them, but it didn’t feel right. None of it did. The villa lost its lustre when Andi left. Even the neon beanbag chairs and cheeky sayings posted around the place seemed to have dulled overnight. But he could hardly leave the show in the middle of Casa Amor, without saying a proper goodbye to the original girls. They’re his friends too, and Bella in particular would never forgive him if he walked before she could give him another sock in the arm or ruffle his hair.
The corners of his lips tip up just a little at the thought of that blue-haired firecracker. The two of them became fast friends, and he can’t wait to see her again. There’s never been anything romantic between them and never will be, but his Love Island experience wouldn’t be the same without her.
He just hopes she found someone in Casa Amor. He’s banking on it, actually — because if she couples up, then he’ll be single. And if he’s single, then… well, maybe, hopefully, he’ll be dumped. Either way, he’s planning to leave at the first opportunity to go find his girl, but he wants to make sure Bella’s taken care of first. He doesn’t want to risk leaving her vulnerable.
Finally, the host walks in and does her spiel, and the ceremony begins. Ozzy is the first to rise to his feet, and it comes as no surprise when he says he’s sticking with Grace. Roberto shakes his head in annoyance, making a tutting sound. It’s no secret that Ozzy had a thing for Andi, and now without her in the picture, he’s falling back on Grace, knowing how much the girl is obsessed with him. But as much as Grace has been wilfully blind to all of it, Roberto can’t help but think she deserves better. She might be coupled up with him, but she’s clearly Ozzy’s second choice.
Grace comes in alone and flings herself into his arms, and Roberto rolls his eyes as he pretends to clap along. There’s a brief moment when some doofus from Casa Amor storms in and yells at Grace about something or other, but security is quick to drag him back into the villa, leaving Grace flustered and embarrassed and Ozzy confused and not a little like he’s been made to look like a mug.
Fuckin’ deserves it.
Then Lewie gets up and makes a speech about going with the flow, which causes a few titters and giggles around the fire pit as a blue-eyed blonde steps forward from the row of Casa girls. The two of them are a perfect match, and they’ll have perfect blonde, blue-eyed babies.
And then Roberto thinks he’s dreaming, because that’s Andi walking towards him, on the arm of—wait, no. He gives his head a shake and looks at her again. The woman walking in may share the same face as his girl, but she wears her hair a little longer and wavier, her nose isn’t pierced, and her lips have a way of twisting into an ugly smirk that Andi isn’t capable of. It’s Amelia, her twin.
He lifts a curious eyebrow as he takes in the man she’s with, barely stifling the bubble of laughter that almost courses out of him. Of course Amelia would couple up with the carbon copy of Ozzy, although this guy has longer hair, a beard, and a few tattoos peeking out from under his clothing. And judging by the look on Ozzy’s face, he’s not so happy to see his dear brother. Which tracks, considering he never even told the guys that his brother is actually his twin.
The two of them exchange a few tense words before Amelia leads Marshall to an open space on the opposite side of the bench, throwing a jealous look in Flo’s direction.
And then it’s Roberto’s turn.
He wipes the moisture from his palms and takes a deep breath as he rises to his feet, gazing around at all the familiar faces. This isn’t his goodbye speech, not quite yet, but it’s still the final time he’s going to be doing one of these recouplings. He might actually miss it.
The host gives him a nod, and he clears his throat. “As you all know, the last few days have been… well.” He throws a sheepish look towards Ivy and the other two girls who were sent in to tempt them, whose names he never even bothered to learn, giving them an apologetic smile. “My mind and my heart have both been elsewhere, so I’ve been pretty poor company. I’m usually a lot of fun, I promise.”
There’s a chorus of muffled laughter around the fire pit.
“Although I’m technically coupled up with Bella—” A hard glance towards Elliot makes the other man flush “—there’s been another girl on my mind, and these last few days have given me all the clarity I need to go after what I want. I hope Bella found someone while she was away, but I have to do what’s right for myself, and that’s to stick.”
The host smiles softly. “Alright, let’s see what Bella decided to do.”
All eyes turn towards the villa. Roberto doesn’t know why his heart is pounding, but it is, until finally his partner appears — holding hands with someone else.
He lets out a sigh of relief, and a wide smile crosses his face. When she catches his eye, she beams at him, as if she’s as happy to see that he’s standing there alone as he is to see that she’s twisted to someone new.
When they reach the fire pit, she stands next to the host, but all she can look at is him, her eyes sparkling with joy and excitement — and a hint of mischievousness. He knows that look well, the look that says that she knows something he doesn’t. But what could it possibly mean?
The host asks her a few questions, and Roberto learns that the new guy’s name is Andy — which makes him chuckle a little even as a pang goes through him at the reminder of his Andi. He seems nice, and he’s looking at Bella like she hung the moon, so Roberto couldn’t be happier for her. They come over and he gives Bella one of his biggest hugs, Andy a firm handshake, and then they all sit down together.
“Turns out we both have a thing for Andis,” he whispers to Bella, making her giggle as Elliot stands up. “I’m so happy you found someone.”
“I’m so happy you didn’t,” she replies, that twinkle reappearing in her eye, though it’s replaced by a flash of worry as her mouth quivers. “I almost didn’t switch, you know. To keep you safe.”
“I’m glad you didn’t. I… Bella, you know there’s no one else for me. If I can’t have Andi, then I don’t mind getting dumped.”
The worry disappears, the sparkle beaming even brighter, and she covers his hand with one of hers, giving it a squeeze as they both turn to watch Ivy cross the fire pit towards Elliot, looking like the cat who’s caught the canary.
Bella sighs. “I knew he’d switch.”
Roberto shrugs. “He kinda had to, didn’t he? Andi’s gone, so he’s single.”
She looks like she’s about to say something, only to quickly snap her mouth shut. He narrows his eyes, wondering why she’s acting funny.
The host starts speaking again, and he’s fully expecting her to end the proceedings and say her goodbyes, but what she says instead stops him in his tracks.
“Before I let you all go, I have one more surprise for you.” She looks at Elliot, then at Roberto, before turning to look towards the villa.
Roberto is bewildered. What’s going on? The rest of the boys are just as confused as he is, but the girls are all beaming at him. But what for? His palms begin to sweat, his heart pounding faster in his chest, and then he hears them.
Footsteps.
His breath catches in his throat as his eyes lock onto the space where the other girls have appeared. Is it another new Islander? Already? Or is it—
Andi. His Andi.
There she is, like a dream he doesn’t want to wake up from. Her eyes meet his and they light up bright, filling the villa with vibrant colour again. The air whooshes out of his lungs, and he’s on his feet, his knees wobbling beneath him.
But then his vision blurs, starting at the edges, and his heart squeezes in his chest. Of course, she’s just a mirage. This isn’t real; none of it is. He’s sleeping, and any moment now he’ll wake up to find himself on the daybeds, having napped the afternoon away. And then he’ll have to do it all over again, going through the motions of getting ready for the evening and then watching everyone recouple while he wishes he’d walked out days earlier.
“Roberto.”
It even sounds just like her. Warm hands cup his cheeks, which he realizes are wet with his tears. A soft, gentle laugh that makes him squeeze his eyes shut, wanting to return to those blissful moments with her.
“Roberto, it’s me.”
He’s scared to open his eyes, but he does it anyway, and she’s standing in front of him, tears streaking down her own face, but she’s smiling. God, he loves her smile, and he can’t help but mirror it.
“Pinch me.”
Instead, she presses her lips to his, salty tears mixing with the sweet strawberry flavour of the lip gloss she always wears, and he crumbles. His arms slide around her waist, just as much to give himself something to lean on as to bring her closer to him.
“Is it really you?” He can still scarcely believe it, but she tastes and feels so real.
Andi nods, her eyes glowing with the happiness that he feels. “C’mon,” she says, threading her fingers through his and leading him to the bench, where Bella and Andy scooch over to make room.
The host is talking again, but Roberto doesn’t catch a word. He’s too busy staring at Andi, unable to believe his luck. She’s back. He has no idea what she’s doing there, but she’s back.
She squeezes his hand, and he snaps to attention. “She just asked us something, hun.”
He looks back over at the host. “Sorry, could you repeat…?”
The host smiles. “I have a feeling I already know the answer to this, but… as you and Andi are both single, you now have the option to couple up with each other, or to stay single and vulnerable.”
“Fuck yes!” he exclaims with a fist pump, before turning to Andi and smashing his lips against hers. She lets out a squeal before melting into it, wrapping her arms around him.
The ceremony ends, the host leaves, and one by one, the other couples wander off to do their own thing, leaving Roberto and Andi to themselves.
“How are you here?” he asks breathlessly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and letting his hand linger. He can’t stop touching her, he hasn’t stopped touching her since she walked in.
“I wasn’t actually dumped. I was sent to Casa Amor early.”
“What?”
“I know! It was so dumb. Supposedly I got the most votes, not the least.”
Roberto smiles, his heart swelling with pride for his girl. “That tracks. Not that I’m happy about you being in Casa Amor with four new boys all to yourself.”
“It was a waste of a plot twist, really,” Andi replies with a shrug. “The guys were nice enough, but none of them were you.”
“Phew.” He wipes his forehead, laughing. “I might’ve been in trouble if they were.”
She laughs, and his heartbeat quickens. Oh, how he’s missed that sound.
“You had to know Elliot would switch, though, right? He thought you were gone. You knew you’d be left single.”
“Bella was worried about leaving you single too, but I encouraged her to switch. She deserves a romantic couple, and Andy is great.”
“He seems nice.”
“He is! But we figured, well… If Elliot left me single, and Bella left you single, then at least we’d be single together.”
“Or dumped,” he points out.
“Apparently not.” Her thumb brushes over his skin where their hands are still laced together. “I can’t believe we got to couple up.”
“I would have left for you, you know. I was ready to pack my bags tonight if I needed to.”
“Well, thankfully you don’t need to.”
“Would that have been so bad? Getting dumped?” he asks. “I would leave right now with you by my side, if it meant never getting separated again.”
She gives him a soft smile, her eyes full of tenderness. “I won’t let that happen again.”
“We still could, you know. Leave. I already know I have everything I want.” He gives her hand a squeeze for emphasis. “I don’t need the rest of it.”
Andi shakes her head. “We can’t leave.”
“Why not? Wherever you go, I’ll follow.”
The corner of her mouth turns up into a smirk, and she gazes across the villa before turning back to him, leaning in to whisper in his ear.
“We can’t let Amelia win.”
Roberto’s head tilts back as he laughs. All his doubts immediately vanish — he’s not dreaming. This is real. This girl who he’s grown to know and—yes—even love is really back.
When social media influencer Josie Hamilton is scouted for Love Island, she jumps at the chance. She’s not looking for love or commitment, but she’d be crazy to turn down the opportunity and the added exposure it’ll bring her. Even if she doesn’t win it all, she can turn the experience into a greater following and lucrative sponsorships.
She just needs to couple up with someone long enough to win the hearts of the public and get to the final.
Feelings are optional… right?
When social media influencer Josie Hamilton is scouted for Love Island, she jumps at the chance. She’s not looking for love or commitment, but she’d be crazy to turn down the opportunity and the added exposure it’ll bring her. Even if she doesn’t win it all, she can turn the experience into a greater following and lucrative sponsorships.
She just needs to couple up with someone long enough to win the hearts of the public and get to the final.
Feelings are optional… right?
Thanks for the tag @queen-of-boops!! I'm trying to be more active on Tumblr (operative word being trying), so I'll give this a shot!
Last song: (Coffee's for Closers) by Fall Out Boy. I've been deep in my nostalgia era so I've been listening to a lot of FOB, P!ATD, Paramore, etc.
Currently Reading: The Serpent's Shadow by Rick Rioridan. I started a full Riordan-verse reread last year. I've read the PJO and the Heroes of Olympus books and now I'm almost done with the Kane Chronicles!
Currently Watching: Titans on HBO Max. Love me my superhero shit.
Current Obsession: the Dark Olympus books by Katee Robert. The next one comes out this August and I can't wait!
Sorry if you've already been tagged and if this isn't nine people 😅 @mrsbsmooth @longbobmckenzie @auds-and-evens @ellegreenwxy @sparxaf
Oldest of three brothers, Rasmus is also the wisest. When he speaks, people listen, and he takes his role as eldest seriously. He's constantly reining his younger brothers in and trying to keep some semblance of order to the family – as much order as the Bergströms are capable of, at least.
That's not to say he doesn't have a fun side, however. He was the ringleader for the many scrapes they got into as kids (and teens), and he’s always up for an outdoor adventure, where his competitive side comes out. And no matter the occasion, his dry sense of humor will always sneak up on you.
Wild Child by Queen_of_Boops (family scene in chapter 7)
off and running by ChronicComicObsession (brief mentions)
In My Veins by ChronicComicObsession (brief mention in chapter 3)
Bergström Profiles:
Henrik Bergstrom
Magnus Bergström
Once again, thanks to @sparxaf and @chroniccomicobsession for giving me ideas for this but especially being the two biggest Rasmus fans! Magnus stole the spotlight in W&S (as he does), but Rasmus is not to be overlooked!
Gasp, I'm actually on Tumblr for once in a century. Thanks @mrsbsmooth for the tag!
Name: Kellee
Age: 24, but just mere months from being too old for Leo DiCaprio
Pronouns: she/her
When is your birthday? Virgo season babyyyy
Where do you call home? Yeehaw neck of the woods. I knew how to shotgun a beer before I knew how to file my taxes.
Do you have any pets? Lots haha. Two cats, a dog, and two guinea pigs
Current favorite musical artist: I can never pick just one, so a few of my faves include Taylor Swift, Luke Combs, Post Malone, and Fall Out Boy
What do you do for work? I co-run an Aquatics program for the campus recreation department of my Alma mater
If you could have lunch with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be? Taylor Swift. I need to know all her tea. Plus, is that Matty Healy rumor for real?
What are you wearing right now? Geez, buy me a drink first. But actually, a ratty old college shirt. Very sexy
You're going back to school, what's your major? Actually, I just started grad school for my masters in community rec management. Exciting stuff.
Last fanfic or book you read: I just started Every Summer After by Carley Fortune
and finally, share a happy memory with me: I'm very fortunate in the fact that I'm struggling to pick just one. But I guess I'd say my graduation party recently. I was so over the moon to have finally finished my degree, gearing up to start my dream job. I was surrounded by the people I love most and my sister in law/best friend and husband really went above and beyond to make it the best day ever. To be so showered with love by friends and family was so amazing and I just kinda can't believe I'm so blessed to have such an amazing life 💕
I'm sure pretty much everyone has been tagged by now but if not, take this as your tag!
Black and white. That’s all Jules Wilson has ever seen the world in — black, white, and all the shades of grey in between. And that’s all she’ll ever see. Because when she agrees to a marriage of convenience, she’s resigning herself to her life remaining permanently in greyscale, rejecting her soulmate before she even has a chance to meet him.
Until a week before the wedding, when she meets the best man for the first time… and everything bursts into colour.
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 7,650
Read 'kaleidoscope' on AO3 or under the cut!
This is an angsty one with an ambiguous ending, so be forewarned.
Thanks so much to @auds-and-evens for the graphic and @chroniccomicobsession for inspiring the fic. Love you both!
White. Pure white.
Jules runs her fingers along the edges of the lace on the pristine wedding gown with a lump in her throat. To some people, a white wedding dress symbolizes purity. Tradition. Perhaps a blank slate as a couple starts a new life together as husband and wife.
But for her, Julianna Wilson, none of those things mattered when she picked out the dress she would spend one of the most important days of her life wearing. No, for her, white was the only option. The only colour that she could possibly pick out herself.
Ivory, champagne, cream. Blush, blue, peach. There’s no point choosing a wedding dress in a colour that you can’t even see. That to your eyes only looks like a boring shade of grey.
Because while she might be getting married in only a week’s time, her world is still stuck in black and white. She’s always hearing friends, family members, and complete strangers talk about various colours, but their words have no meaning to her. They say she’ll understand someday, that she’ll find her soulmate and the world will burst into colour… but the white wedding dress in front of her tells a different story.
A single tear slips down her cheek, and she allows the lace to fall, careful not to let the moisture drop onto it. Maybe she should have picked a black dress. A symbol of mourning for the hopes and dreams she’s shutting the door on.
Because when she walks down that aisle and looks Lucas Koh in the eye and says “I do,” she’ll be rejecting her soulmate — before she even has a chance to meet him.
The door bursts open.
“Jujube!” Chelsea exclaims. “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Sorry, Chels.” Jules wipes the moisture from her face, putting on a brave face for her best friend. “I just needed a moment to myself before everyone arrives.”
“Aww, babe!” The blonde is across the room in a flash, wrapping her into a hug. “It’s not too late, you know. I can smuggle you out a window, we can steal a couple horses, and—”
Jules laughs. “It’s okay. I have to do this; you know I do. I just… sometimes need to feel sorry for myself.”
“I wish there was another way.”
“I know. Me too. God, I wish it more than anything. But there are worse things than marrying someone who’s not your soulmate — just look at my parents.”
Chelsea gives her a sympathetic look. “But babe, your parents already loved each other.”
“Lucas is a good man. I could learn to love him; I know I can.”
“But—”
Jules stops her friend with a finger on her lips. “I don’t have a choice, Chels. I have to do this.”
Chelsea sighs. “Alright. In that case, I’ve been sent in search of you because some of Lucas’s family have arrived. Oh, and the best man! You should see him — what a dish!”
She nods, forcing a smile. “I’ll be right there.”
“Great! I’ll see you downstairs!”
Chelsea flits out of the room, and Jules takes one last look at the white dress. Then she straightens her shoulders, takes a deep breath, and follows her friend.
She greets Lucas’s mother and sister cordially, but there’s an awkwardness between them. They understand the need for him to marry, but no doubt she wasn’t their first choice. It certainly doesn’t help that everyone is fully aware she’s marrying him for one reason and one reason only — his money.
But it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, and if his own soulmate hadn’t rejected him, then he wouldn’t need Jules. His father’s will stipulated that he marry by the age of 28 in order to gain full control of the business and his inheritance, and she was the only one that both met his standards and was desperate enough to throw away a future with her own soulmate.
And as the daughter of Jake and Jen Wilson, two people who fell in love despite not being destined for each other, she knows it can work. Their marriage has been a happy one, and she believes there’s no reason she and Lucas couldn’t have the same thing.
“Julianna! There you are,” he says as he appears at her elbow. “Mother, may I steal my fiancée? I have so many people to introduce her to.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” his mother replies, and Jules isn’t sure which of them is more relieved that she’s being stolen away. Someday she’ll learn how to speak to the intimidating woman, but she has the rest of their lives for that.
“Thank you,” she whispers as he leads her across the room.
“Don’t mention it,” he replies. “I’ve been dying to introduce you to Henrik.”
Henrik Bergström, Lucas’s best friend. The two of them met as teenagers when Lucas’s father was the British ambassador to Sweden, and apparently they were thick as thieves. When the Kohs moved back to the UK, they refused to let their friendship fall by the wayside, and even years later, they’re as close as ever.
Thanks to their whirlwind courtship, Jules hasn’t met Henrik yet, but she knows from everything Lucas has told her about him, she’s going to love him.
They come up to a long-haired man standing with his back to them as he studies a painting on the wall. Lucas says his name, and the man turns with a bright smile, his green eyes sparkling.
Green.
It takes Jules a moment to register it, but once she does, all the air is sucked out of her lungs. She can’t tear her gaze away, though, so she can pinpoint the exact moment that Henrik realizes it too by the flicker of recognition, quickly replaced by confusion.
Green. His eyes are green. She doesn’t even need anyone to tell her the name of the colour she’s seeing for the first time; she knows it instinctively, as if the knowledge has always been there, hidden below the surface, waiting to be revealed.
Henrik Bergström is her soulmate.
Her knees wobble, and both men reach out to grab her at the same time. It’s Lucas who grips her elbow, though, his eyes — dark brown — filled with concern.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Water?”
“I’m fine,” she insists, regaining her composure. “It’s these shoes, that’s all.”
He nods, stealing a look down at her feet. The three-inch heels are definitely taller than she’s used to.
“Julianna, this is Henrik. Henrik, my fiancée, Julianna.”
She squeezes her eyes shut for a brief moment, as if hoping that her mind is playing tricks on her and the kaleidoscope of colours assaulting her vision will disappear, replaced by the familiar grey-scale. But no luck. When they open again, that incredibly gorgeous shade of green is still there, staring back at her.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she holds out her hand. “Julianna Wilson, but most people call me Jules.”
Henrik looks down at the hand she’s offering but ignores it and throws his arms around her as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And that’s exactly how it feels — natural. Like she was born to be in his arms.
Because she was.
“Henrik. You can call me whatever you like.” He takes a step back, but his gaze stays focused on her even as Lucas begins to share his plans for the week ahead, completely oblivious to the sizzling tension between them. His head tilts slightly, his lips pursing as he studies her. Probably wondering how his soulmate ended up engaged to his best friend. How much did Lucas even tell him?
“Henrik? Are you listening?”
Henrik’s gaze finally shifts to his friend, and it’s more disappointing than it should be to be robbed of it.
“Sorry, Lukey. What were you saying? Something about pigeons? Are you having some at the wedding?”
Lucas looks flustered. “Pigeons? No, we’re having doves, of course.”
“Ah, silly me! You know I don’t know your traditions.”
“I wasn’t talking about the wedding.”
“No? No doves at the wedding?”
“I mean, yes, but—Henrik, I was talking about clay pigeon shooting.”
“Oh!” He chuckles. “I sometimes forget that you’re posh.”
Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’m not posh, I’m—”
“Lucas!”
Jules turns to see Lucas’s friend and their host, Tom, coming up behind him and clapping Lucas on the back.
“Tom,” Lucas replies. “You remember Henrik.”
“Ah, yes, of course. Good to see you. Look, Lucas, could I steal you away for a moment? You see, I was wondering…”
Before Jules realizes what’s happening, Tom has already pulled Lucas aside, speaking into his ear. She protests, but it’s already too late — he’s gone, leaving her alone in the company of the one person who has the power to threaten everything for them both.
“So, um…” Henrik shuffles on his feet. “How do you know Lucas?”
She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Why did you agree to marry him?”
His words are laced with hurt, and it pains her to no end. She can hardly come to grips with her own shock, but how much worse must his be? Coming to celebrate his friend’s wedding, only to discover that the bride is his soulmate? She made a choice to forego life with her soulmate, but he didn’t.
Looking him over, she notes all the fresh new colours she instinctively recognizes from years of hearing other people talk about them. Blonde hair, red lips. An ill-fitting navy-blue suit that she suspects he’s only wearing out of respect for his friend. He’s out of place in a place like the Beresford-King estate, and somehow that only makes him even more attractive to her.
“I’m sorry,” is all she can whisper. Her fight-or-flight response is leaning heavily towards flight, and she turns to run, to escape, only for him to grab her arm.
“Wait,” he pleads. “Help me understand.”
“How could you, though? How could you possibly understand?” Jules jerks her arm away as moisture pools in her eyes. She’s not prepared for the immense guilt washing over her.
“I don’t know!” Henrik rakes the fingers of both hands through his long locks, tussling it even more than it already was. “Do you love him?”
The fact she doesn’t just makes it worse, doesn’t it? If she did, it would be easier. People fall in love with people other than their soulmates all the time. Some never even find their true soulmates, so they don’t even have to reject them. But how many people reject their soulmates in favour of money?
Well, in their circles, probably quite a few — but she’s not like them.
“I—I can’t do this.”
This time when she runs away, Henrik doesn’t stop her. Tears streak down her cheeks faster than she can wipe them away as she weaves through the crowd of guests arriving for the pre-wedding festivities. Whispers follow her, but she blocks them out, focused only on getting out of there.
She doesn’t stop until she’s back in the same room as before. The wedding dress that taunted her earlier is now a boon, a familiar, comforting plain white. If she’d known an hour earlier that her true soulmate was downstairs, she might have taken up Chelsea’s offer to run away, so she could bask in the shades of grey that made up her world. She and Lucas could have eloped, and she would have made up every excuse in the world to never meet his best friend.
Sighing, she turns around, only to freeze when her eyes catch a glimpse of something new.
Pink.
Pink.
Okay, yes, Jules has a vague recollection of Chelsea telling her the bridesmaid dresses are pink, but with no concept of the colour, she’d let the information slip from her mind. But now, seeing the dresses hanging next to her own gown, she’s horrified.
“No, no, no!” she breathes as she snatches up the nearest dress with both hands and staring at it. How can she get married with pink bridesmaid dresses? They should be green, like Henr—No, no. She shakes her head. Blue, maybe. Yellow. Some other colour she hasn’t discovered yet. But pink? If she’d known this is where Chelsea’s tastes lie, she never would’ve let her pick all the colours for the wedding.
Footsteps sound in the hallway, but they don’t register in her brain until she hears Chelsea’s nickname for her.
“Jujube? Are you up here?” The door opens. “Jujube! You just ran off like—”
“What is this, Chelsea?” Jules asks, still clutching the dress.
“What is what, babe?” Chelsea tilts her head, gazing at her in confusion. “Have you been hit on the head, love? Those are your bridesmaid dresses, of course!”
“I know, I mean why are they pink?!” The words slip out before she realizes what she’s saying, and she claps a hand over her mouth.
“Babe, I told you that a bajillion—wait, what?”
Jules groans, any hope that Chelsea might have missed her slip of the tongue quickly being dashed as the other girl’s eyes widen and her mouth turns into a perfect ‘O’.
“Oh my god! You can see?! Babe, that’s amazing!”
“It’s horrible!”
“No, it—” Chelsea crosses the room and takes Jules’ hands in hers, her eyes — bright blue — sparkling. “Isn’t it beautiful? All the pretty colours? Wait till you see your first rainbow! I still remember the day I first met Rafi, it was like the whole world lit up! You remember, right? You were there! And falling in love, and—”
“Chelsea!” Jules squeezes her friend’s hands. “Don’t you get it?! I’m marrying Lucas in a week!”
“Yes, and it’s going to be so beautiful! And—” She pauses, her eyebrows furrowing, and she tilts her head to study Jules. “But you haven’t seen colour before.”
“Exactly!”
“Are you in love?!”
“No!”
“So you—” Chelsea gasps, her eyes growing impossibly wide as it finally sinks in. “No!” she breathes. “You met your soulmate?!”
“Yes!”
“AAHHH!” She squeals and throws her arms around Jules. “That’s so exciting!”
“No, it’s not!”
She pulls back, still gripping Jules’ arms. “It’s not? Oh my god! No, it’s not! Oh my god, you’re marrying Lucas!”
“Thank you!” Jules sighs with relief. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
“You should’ve just said, babe! But what are we going to do? Or—wait, who even is it?”
“It’s Henrik!”
Chelsea gasps. “The best man?! Jules, you dirty—”
“Hey, it’s not my fault!”
“Okay, this is bad!”
“I know!”
“So what are you gonna do? Break off the wedding and ride into the sunset with your soulmate? Oh my god, how romantic!”
A fresh bout of tears wells up in Jules’ eyes as she shakes her head. “How can I do that? You know how much I need this wedding to happen, Chels!”
“I know! I know.” Chelsea paces back and forth, chewing her thumbnail. “Well, what if you talk to Lucas?”
“God, no, I can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“He needs this to happen as much as I do.”
“But shouldn’t it be partly his decision?”
“Henrik’s my soulmate, not his. It’s better if he doesn’t know.”
“But—”
She hushes Chelsea as a light knock on the door sounds, followed by her fiancé’s voice asking for her. More guests have arrived, and the bride-to-be’s presence is requested.
“I’ll be right there!” she calls out, wiping her tears away with a sigh.
She’s not ready to face Lucas, and she’s definitely not ready to face Henrik again. But she can only hide for so long.
***
Jules’ gaze sweeps across the patio the next morning, looking for a place to sit. It’s a fine day, so tables have been set up outdoors for the guests to have breakfast, and it’s surprising how many of them have actually shown up this early in the morning. She’d thought the posh wankers wouldn’t show their faces before noon. Isn’t that what the sort of people who can afford to take a week out of their lives to spend time at someone’s country estate before the wedding of someone they barely know would do?
She wishes she could take her plate into the garden where she can sit on her own, but she’s the bride. She’s expected to mingle, at least a little bit. It’s all she can do to put on a brave face, pretending to be happy despite the turmoil inside.
“Jujube!”
Her relief at hearing Chelsea’s voice and seeing the wild waving of her arm is short-lived when she notices the other occupant of the table. There’s no mistaking the tall man with the long blonde hair, and she groans. Her traitor of a friend is fraternizing with the enemy.
If one’s soulmate ever could be considered an enemy.
There’s a furrow in Henrik’s brow as he looks over his shoulder to see who Chelsea’s waving at, and a myriad of emotions cross his face as he makes eye contact with Jules. Surprise. Delight. Uncertainty.
It would be rude to ignore them now, so Jules makes her way to the table and smiles politely at Henrik as she sits before shooting Chelsea a glare that has absolutely no effect.
“Good morning, Jujube! Isn’t it a lovely day? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are in full bloom. Hopefully your wedding day is like this!”
Jules stifles a cough as she glances at Henrik. “Hm. Yes. It’s nice. Good morning, Henrik.”
He grins. “Good morning!”
“How did you sleep?” Taking a sip of her tea, she studies him over the rim. He’s much more casually dressed this morning than the night before in a light blue button-up and dark shorts, and the morning sun glances off his hair in a way that makes it shine. This can’t be any easier for him, yet he looks relaxed as he leans back in his chair and smiles at her.
“Great, thank you! The bed was too soft, so I slept on the floor, but there were plenty of blankets to make it comfy!”
Jules almost spits out her drink. He visits a luxury estate and sleeps on the floor?!
“Oh my god, you’re so funny!” Chelsea exclaims. She turns to Jules. “Did you know Henrik is a mountain climber? How thrilling!”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think Lucas ever mentioned it. Or if he did, I forgot.”
Henrik looks mildly disappointed at that, and Jules feels a stirring deep within her. God, how can she disappoint this man? Already she can feel how dangerous he is, how easily she could fall in love with him given the chance. It’s her destiny, but it’s more than that. Lucas is a great guy, but he’s from a world she doesn’t love. Henrik seems like exactly the sort of down-to-earth individual she could see herself being with even if there were no such thing as soulmates.
She needs to avoid him at all costs.
“I’ve been telling Henrik all about Rafi and how we met!” Chelsea explains. “Oh, did you know he has two brothers? I bet they’re as sexy as he is!”
“Rafi?” Jules asks in confusion. Rafi only has one brother that she remembers.
“No, Henrik!”
“They’re back in Sweden,” he says.
“Anyway,” Chelsea prattles on, “I was just about to tell Henrik that Rafi couldn’t make it to the wedding!” She gives an exaggerated pout. “He’s out somewhere filming a movie! He was so sad he couldn’t come, though. I’m sure he would’ve loved hearing about all your adventures!”
Jules focuses on her breakfast, more than happy to let Chelsea carry on the conversation while she tries to ignore Henrik’s presence. Emphasis on tries, as she can’t help but be attuned to his every gesture and unconscious movement, the timbre of his voice, his gorgeous smile, and the way his hair flutters with the light breeze.
The moment she swallows the last bite of her breakfast, she’s ready to bolt, only for Lucas to approach their table with a delighted smile.
“Henrik! Julianna! It’s so good to see you’re getting along.”
Any earlier, and she would have been choking on her food.
“I’m rounding everyone up who wants to join this morning’s activity,” he continues, blissfully unaware of the shadow that’s fallen upon the table. “Clay pigeon shooting. I hope you’ll all join us?”
“Oh, I don’t think—” Jules starts.
“We’d all love to!” Chelsea exclaims. She looks between Jules and Henrik. “You two should do it together!”
Jules stares at her in shock. Why on Earth would she suggest pairing the two of them together?
“Oh, I thought one of them would like to go with me,” Lucas replies, frowning.
Before Jules can volunteer, Chelsea butts in.
“I’ll go with you! You promised to show me how!”
“I did?”
“Of course! Don’t you remember?” She shoots out of her chair and threads her arm through his. “We’ll make a great pair!”
Chelsea pulls Lucas away, and once they’re out of earshot, Henrik clears his throat.
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
Jules sighs as she gathers her dishes and stands up. “No, he’ll be expecting us now. Besides, I think I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
She closes her eyes against the tears that threaten to swell at his kindness. “Yes, I do.”
***
Henrik lifts the gun to his shoulder and tracks the clay soaring through the sky. The gun roars as he takes the shot, but the trajectory of the flying object doesn’t alter.
“Missed again.” He shrugs, lowering the gun. “Oops.”
“Maybe next time.”
Then it’s Jules’ turn, and the clay pigeon drops to the ground.
“You’ve done this before,” Henrik comments.
Jules points the barrel downwards and looks over to where Lucas is giving Chelsea pointers.
“A time or two.” She may not have the money that most of Lucas’s friends have, but she’s been to plenty of weekend getaways to the country. It’s how she and Lucas met. “Would you like to take a walk?”
“Yes, please,” Henrik says with relief evident in his voice. “I’m not really into shooting things.”
She gives him a small smile, and they hand off their guns to a staff member before walking towards the forest, where she knows there are trails.
“So,” she begins when they reach the privacy of the trees, “you must have all sorts of questions.”
“I know Lucas needs to marry to gain control of his company,” Henrik says, lifting a branch so she can duck beneath it, “and I know what happened with Hope. So I guess I just want to know why you agreed to marry him.”
“You could have asked Lucas.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
The pain in his voice, though veiled, is evident enough, and it strikes a knife through her chest.
Jules wraps her arms around herself, despite not being cold. “I need the money.”
There, it’s out. The cold, naked truth. Her motives are completely mercenary, making her no better than the gold-diggers back at the estate, marrying someone for their bank account.
Henrik stops in his tracks and turns to her, looking surprised. As if he already knows her and doesn’t believe she would be that sort of person. Well, she is. She has to be.
“What for?”
She sighs and looks around. She needs to be sitting down for this conversation. Taking his hand and trying to ignore the spark that travels up her arm at his touch, she leads him down a path until the trees break and a large pond spreads out before them. They take a seat on a bench at the edge of the water, and he waits earnestly for her to speak.
“My father’s restaurant is failing,” she says, looking out over the glassy surface of the pond. “Next to me and my mum, it’s the love of his life, and I can’t bear to watch him lose it. Not now, not after everything he’s been through.”
“What happened?” Henrik asks softly.
Jules takes a deep breath, the pain of what she’s about to tell him still fresh in her heart even after years of living through it. “A few years ago, he got sick. Really sick. He’s better now, thank God, but for a while there…” She swallows, shaking her head slightly. “Mum was busy looking after him, so I dropped out of school to do as much as I could for the restaurant. It wasn’t enough, though. I might’ve grown up in that kitchen, but running it the way he did? I never realized how big his shoes were until I tried to fill them.”
A line appears between Henrik’s eyebrows. “Why did you need to wear his shoes?”
She laughs despite herself, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “It’s just an expression. Basically, I could never live up to his legacy.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“No, it is.” She gives him a wry smile. “And I’m okay with that. My dad is amazing. And that was never more obvious than when he was sick, because the restaurant suffered. The food wasn’t as good, servers were quitting. Loyal customers stopped coming. And once you lose that loyalty, it’s hard to get it back, you know?”
Jules sniffles as she bites back tears, and Henrik places a comforting hand on hers, his warmth spreading through her.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, I just—I need to make it right. How can he build the restaurant back up to what it was if he can’t even make the loan payments?”
Henrik frowns. “And marrying Lucas is going to help?”
“He’s willing to become an investor, but he needs control of the company to do so. It’s a marriage that benefits us both. Plus, he’ll pay for me to finish school, which is more than I could ask for.”
“What are you studying?”
She smiles. “It’s my dream to become a veterinarian. I was halfway through my courses when I had to drop out.”
He nods pensively, his face a mask as he watches a family of ducks swim by. Jules wrings her hands, wishing she could tell what he’s thinking about… and what he thinks of her.
Finally, he speaks. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”
Sighing softly, she nods. “I know my father would give up everything for me, and I’m willing to give up everything for him.”
“Including me.”
“I…” It’s harder to say the words than she expected. When she decided to marry Lucas, she knew she would be giving up a lot — but now, having met Henrik, the full weight of what she’s doing settles on her shoulders. She’s not merely giving up some nameless, faceless soulmate who only exists in her dreams — she’s giving up a life of happiness with this man beside her, who’s far more real than she could have imagined. Any time she goes to bed with Lucas, it will be Henrik’s face that haunts her. Even as the colour in her world fades, she’ll never forget the vivid green of his eyes and the moment everything changed. She swallows, and it burns like acid dripping down her throat. “Yes,” she whispers. “Even you.”
Jules isn’t sure how she expects him to react, but it’s certainly not the way he pulls her into him, his arms wrapping tightly around her. She can hear the quickened pace of his heart as it beats in his chest, feel his shoulders shake as his hopes and dreams for the future come crashing down. The tears that have been threatening to fall finally spill over, soaking the front of his shirt as sobs rack through her body.
Why does he have to be so bloody understanding? Why can’t he yell and scream and throw things? Maybe then it would hurt less. If she could be angry, maybe she wouldn’t be so sad.
The soft kiss he presses on the top of her head — the gentlest brush of his lips — is the last straw. Breaking away from his hold, she runs back through the woods, wiping away the moisture that blurs her vision as she returns to the house.
***
Her parents arrive late the next morning. Jules throws herself into her father’s arms, the warmth of him and his familiar, comforting scent reminding her why she’s doing all this in the first place. The moment she’s able to get them alone and in private, she bares her soul, telling them everything about Henrik and Lucas and the quandary she finds herself in.
When she’s finished speaking, Jake and Jen Wilson give each other a look, communicating with their eyes the way only two people who have been in love for decades can do.
Her lower lip quivers. “Am I doing the right thing?”
“Oh, honey,” Jen says, moving to sit beside Jules and pulling her into a hug. “You know I don’t for one second regret marrying your father, but this is your life, not ours. We just want you to be happy.”
Jake sits on the other side, encompassing both of them in his arms. “I appreciate what you want to do for us,” he says. “For the restaurant. But sweetheart, this is your life, your happiness.”
“I can be happy with Lucas!”
“I know you can.” He smiles softly. “But you could be happier with your soulmate.”
“But you—”
“You can’t compare your situation to ours, Jules. You have your own life to live, your own love to give. Your mother and I only want the best for you.”
“But the restaurant—”
“Is just a restaurant. My daughter means so much more to me than a business.”
“I can’t let you lose it, though! Not after—”
“I know you feel guilty about the restaurant failing, but none of it is your fault, sweetie. These things happen. If it weren’t my health, it could have been another thing.”
“But you love it!”
“I do. But I love my family more, and running a restaurant is a lot of work. Maybe it would be better if I didn’t have that responsibility and could just be a head chef somewhere.”
Jules pulls back in shock. “Work for someone else? You?!”
Jake gives her a wry smile. “If I have to, yes. I had a chance to live my dream, and I’m willing to let it go.”
“Dad…”
He squeezes her hand. “I just want you to follow your heart and do what’s right for you, not for anyone else. That’s what will make me happy.”
“But what about Lucas?”
Jake shrugs. “Lucas isn’t my concern. If not you, I’m sure he can find someone else to marry him.”
Could he, though? It took him long enough to find Jules, or so he said. Maybe he’s just picky, but it’s inching closer to the deadline for him to marry, and Jules would feel terrible about breaking things off now, when everything has been set, money has been spent, and the majority of their family and friends have already arrived. It would be embarrassing for him to be dumped at this late stage — especially for the best man.
Lucas may not be her parents’ concern, but he’s still hers. There are three lives which will be irreversibly altered by this decision, and she has to consider every angle. But rather than clarify things, her discussion with her parents has done nothing but further muddy the waters.
Leaving them to unpack and rest, she heads down the hallway towards her own room when she hears a familiar male voice, and her heart leaps.
Henrik.
She pauses, looking for the source of the sound and finding a door that’s been left slightly ajar.
“What do you think?” This time Lucas is speaking. “These cufflinks were my father’s, but I think these ones will go better.”
Jules can barely hear Henrik’s muffled response, and she moves closer almost involuntarily, as if her brain is sending signals to her limbs that her other half is near, drawing her to him.
Whatever he said, it’s made Lucas frustrated. “What’s gotten into you, Henrik? I thought you were excited for me, but since you arrived, you’ve barely shown any enthusiasm.”
Her breath catches in her throat. Henrik’s not going to tell him, is he? They haven’t discussed it, but it seems to her that if either of them confesses the truth, it should be her. And she’d rather not do that unless she absolutely needs to.
“I’m sorry, Luc. I… I’m happy for you. Jules seems…”
There’s a smile in Lucas’s voice as he responds. “She’s lovely, isn’t she? The moment I met her, I knew you’d love her. I know she’s only marrying me because she needs to, but I think there could be something more between us someday."
The knot in Jules’s stomach that’s been present since she met Henrik tightens. It’s nothing she hasn’t thought herself, but hearing it from Lucas’s mouth hits harder.
Henrik mumbles a glum response that she doesn’t quite catch.
“I’m just so glad I found her. You know how much it means to me to carry on Father’s legacy at the company, and now I can.”
She swallows as she backs away. Lucas’s words are only making things harder, increasing her guilt over her feelings for Henrik.
“Anyway, if you don’t have an opinion on these cufflinks, I’ll ask my mother. She’ll know best.”
Jules is already halfway down the hall when she hears her name, and she reluctantly turns to find Lucas coming towards her, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles at her.
“I’m glad I caught you,” he says. “I’m going to ask my mother something, but would you like to go for a walk or ride afterwards? I feel like we’ve barely spoken in days.”
She forces a smile onto her face. “Sure, Lucas. I would love that.”
“Great.”
His hand brushes the small of her back as they fall into step together. But as they turn the corner, she can’t resist looking over her shoulder, where Henrik leans against the doorframe of the room, watching them with a dejected look on his face.
***
“Julianna, darling, do you have a moment?”
Jules glances over her shoulder to find her mother approaching, a worried expression on her face.
“Sure, let me just—Wait, no! That table doesn’t go there! Yes, that one—over there, please!”
With only days to go before the big day, the preparations have ramped up, and she’s overseeing the setup of the ballroom for the reception. Satisfied that her directions are being followed, she turns to Jen.
“Have you seen Chelsea? She was supposed to be here, oh—a quarter of an hour ago,” she says, looking at the clock on her phone.
“I’m sorry, love, I haven’t. But I was just looking at the seating chart, and I’m afraid there’s been a mistake.”
Jules frowns. “What do you mean?”
“You can’t put Erikah Vachon and Rohan Chopra at the same table.”
“Why not?”
“They’ll kill each other.”
Her brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Honey, they hate each other.”
“They do? But—”
“Jujube!” Chelsea runs into the room and grabs Jules’ arm. “You’ll never believe—”
“I didn’t realize they knew each other.”
“—what’s happened! It’s a disaster!”
“No, you wouldn’t, I suppose—”
“Everything is ruined!”
“Wait, hold up!” Jules holds her hand up, and both women pause. “Chelsea, where have you been?”
“Soz, babe, but you need to hear this!”
“Just consider changing the table assignments, dear.”
“Really?” Chelsea turns to Jen, her eyes wide. “Now?! But everything’s been set and printed!”
“What’s going on, Chels?”
Chelsea snaps back to attention and holds up her phone. “You know Bobby’s Bake Shop?”
Jules puts her fingers to her temple. “Bobby, Bobby… He’s doing the cake, right?”
“Yes! Or, well… He just called. And, um… I don’t know how to tell you this, but…”
“Just spit it out!”
“There was a fire in the kitchen! Just a small one, everything’s okay, but—”
“But what?”
“Well…” Chelsea grimaces. “He’s not going to be able to do the wedding cake.”
Jules groans, dropping her head back. “What?! No cake? Are you serious? The wedding is in—”
“Julianna? Julianna! There you are.”
She spins around at the sound of her fiancé’s voice. “Lucas? I’m in a bit of a crisis here!”
“I apologize, but I’ve just been informed that there’s an issue with the string quartet.”
“What?” She rakes her fingers through her hair. “What kind of issue?”
“The cellist is ill. They’re backing out.”
“What?!”
The apologetic clearing of a throat behind her, followed by yet another wedding-related question, is what finally breaks her.
“I’m sorry, I can’t—I can’t deal with this!”
Jules turns and flees, her head spinning as she dodges a few people she’s not even sure she’s met before in the hallway. Her throat closes up as the tears start to flow. Is the universe trying to give her a sign? Is nothing going to go right for her as long as she continues with her plan to marry the wrong man?
She pushes through the back door, and even then she keeps going, past the guests that are mingling on the patio. She continues to the garden, where flowers bloom in bursts of colour. Never could she have imagined the delight that could be found in the plants that until a few days ago had merely been fragrant reminders of what she couldn’t see. Now, she takes solace in the solitude of the garden, breathing in deeply of the sweet aroma.
“Are you okay?”
Startled, Jules gasps as she spins on her heel to face the intruder — although it turns out, she’s the intruder. Henrik is a mere few feet away, lying on a blanket with a book in his hand, staring up at her with soulful green eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “I didn’t know you were here. I can… I can go.”
She bites her lip as she gazes at him uncertainly. On one hand, she’s been avoiding him and should definitely keep doing so. On the other hand, she’s drawn to him like an oasis in the desert, and before she knows what she’s doing, she’s lowering herself to the blanket as Henrik makes room for her.
“Is everything alright?” he asks again, his voice soft and caring. He reaches out as if to touch her reassuringly, only to pull his hand back.
Jules sighs, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It’s fine.” She pauses. “Well, besides the wedding being ruined, but I just needed to get away from everything for a minute.”
“The wedding is ruined?”
There’s far too much hope in his voice for her liking. But she ignores it, telling him about the cake and the cellist and the seating plan, and ends up pouring out so much more than intended. How she doesn’t like the bridesmaid dresses, how she never wanted her wedding to be some huge society week-long event, how she has no idea what she’s doing and can’t even be excited about it because it’s all wrong, and—
“God, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this,” she says, dropping her head in her hands.
“It’s okay. I like listening to you.”
Her heart squeezes in her chest. This is why she can’t spend time with him — he’s too precious, too good. Too perfect for her in a way that Lucas never could be. It’s sheer torture being around him, knowing she can’t have him. But now that she’s in his presence, she can’t bear to leave.
“Enough about the wedding, though. What brings you out here?”
His grin is sweet and full of delight. “I’ve always loved the outdoors, but now? Seeing all the colours? I can’t get enough.”
As if she doesn’t feel guilty enough, he has to dump that one on her. Jules has never really considered the consequences of rejecting her soulmate, but doing so will supposedly rob them both of the brilliance of their newfound colours. They won’t lose them entirely, but everything will be desaturated — a constant reminder of what they rejected.
Her decision will cost him dearly.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she gives him the briefest of smiles. “It’s beautiful out here.”
Henrik beams at her, and in a moment of weakness, she lays down next to him, propping herself up on her elbow. She doesn’t miss the way his eyes sweep over her figure, nor the longing expression in them.
He licks his lips, then returns his gaze to meet hers. “What’s your favourite colour?” he asks.
“Green,” Jules replies without thinking, and only barely stops herself from adding, “like your eyes.” The thought formulates in her mind, though, causing a blush to form on her cheeks.
He smiles, those same eyes that have been haunting her since she first saw them twinkling. “I like green, too.” He pauses. “And blue.”
“Why blue?”
“It’s the first one I saw.”
The blush deepens, and she smiles, lowering her gaze. She feels almost giddy, like a schoolgirl forming her first crush — except more.
Her breath hitches as Henrik reaches out and brushes a wisp of hair back from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. He looks at her lips, and her heart pounds as she feels the space between them shrinking. She should stop it, but she’s powerless to do so, instead leaning in and closing the distance.
The brush of his lips on hers sends a spark through her, spreading to each of her limbs and warming her from the inside. His kiss is like magic, bursting through her veins and making her feel whole like she never has before. His lips gently part hers, slotting together like puzzle pieces — a perfect match.
But all at once, the spell breaks and the weight of what she’s doing knocks her back, and Jules gasps as she breaks off the kiss and scrambles away from him, her eyes wide.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, wait,” Henrik pleads as she rushes to her feet. “Jules, please!”
“I’m sorry, Henrik,” she says, dragging her fingers through her hair as she fights off tears for what feels like the millionth time this week. “I made a promise. Maybe if we’d met earlier… It’s too late now. I can’t—I can’t back out now.”
It kills her to see the pain on his face, knowing she’s inflicted it. This man deserves to be loved, not left. But leave him, she must. Spinning on her heels, she escapes the garden and the man she wants nothing more than to have and to cherish.
***
The church walls seem to swell with the hauntingly beautiful tones of the organ as Jules waits for her cue to walk down the aisle. The bridesmaids have already blazed the trail in their hideous gowns, and now the hundreds of guests in the pews are ready for her to appear.
The past couple of days have been the longest of her life, counting down to this moment. Last-minute wedding preparations and running around fixing problems have helped, but every waking moment has been weighed down by thoughts of Henrik. The memory of his lips on hers, the way her soul awakened at his touch. Avoiding him was difficult, but it was necessary, and she’s finally reached the precipice, the point of no return.
She smooths the folds of her dress, clutching her bouquet tightly as her father appears at her side, offering his arm.
“Ready?” he asks, his eyes kind and full of love and admiration.
Jules gulps as she circles her hand around his elbow. She takes a deep breath, then shakes her head.
“Are you afraid?”
“Terrified,” she admits. Her stomach is a bundle of knots, impossible to detangle. She wants nothing more than to run away, to admit that what she’s about to do is wrong, but she’s committed. Lucas needs this, her father needs this, she needs it. Sometimes people have to knowingly choose the wrong path.
“Jules…” Jake covers her hand with his. “I’ll love you no matter what.”
Her heart squeezes in her chest. Even if he lost his restaurant, his house, and all his possessions, and he would never love her less. But that’s exactly why she has to go through with this.
“Thanks, Dad.”
The organ changes tunes, and she hears the shuffle of people rising to their feet. It’s time.
Forcing a smile onto her face, she concentrates on the movement of her feet, one step at a time as they walk down the aisle. It’s nothing like the moment she dreamed of as a little girl — her soulmate is at the other end of the aisle, but he’s not the man she’s marrying.
Jules focuses her attention on Lucas, not daring to let her eyes stray to his side. He looks happy, relieved… but not overjoyed like a groom should.
This isn’t right!
All too soon, she’s standing before him, passing her bouquet off to Chelsea and placing her hands in his. The bishop speaks, but the words don’t register — all her attention is on the effort it takes to keep her gaze locked on Lucas instead of looking over his shoulder at the one her very soul is drawn to.
And then Lucas is squeezing her hands, and she hears her name.
“Julianna Millicent Wilson, do you take Lucas Koh to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Her vision blurs, and she blinks. When she opens her eyes, she sees it.
Black and white. That’s all Jules Wilson has ever seen the world in — black, white, and all the shades of grey in between. And that’s all she’ll ever see. Because when she agrees to a marriage of convenience, she’s resigning herself to her life remaining permanently in greyscale, rejecting her soulmate before she even has a chance to meet him.
Until a week before the wedding, when she meets the best man for the first time… and everything bursts into colour.
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 7,650
Read 'kaleidoscope' on AO3 or under the cut!
This is an angsty one with an ambiguous ending, so be forewarned.
Thanks so much to @auds-and-evens for the graphic and @chroniccomicobsession for inspiring the fic. Love you both!
White. Pure white.
Jules runs her fingers along the edges of the lace on the pristine wedding gown with a lump in her throat. To some people, a white wedding dress symbolizes purity. Tradition. Perhaps a blank slate as a couple starts a new life together as husband and wife.
But for her, Julianna Wilson, none of those things mattered when she picked out the dress she would spend one of the most important days of her life wearing. No, for her, white was the only option. The only colour that she could possibly pick out herself.
Ivory, champagne, cream. Blush, blue, peach. There’s no point choosing a wedding dress in a colour that you can’t even see. That to your eyes only looks like a boring shade of grey.
Because while she might be getting married in only a week’s time, her world is still stuck in black and white. She’s always hearing friends, family members, and complete strangers talk about various colours, but their words have no meaning to her. They say she’ll understand someday, that she’ll find her soulmate and the world will burst into colour… but the white wedding dress in front of her tells a different story.
A single tear slips down her cheek, and she allows the lace to fall, careful not to let the moisture drop onto it. Maybe she should have picked a black dress. A symbol of mourning for the hopes and dreams she’s shutting the door on.
Because when she walks down that aisle and looks Lucas Koh in the eye and says “I do,” she’ll be rejecting her soulmate — before she even has a chance to meet him.
The door bursts open.
“Jujube!” Chelsea exclaims. “There you are! I’ve been looking all over for you!”
“Sorry, Chels.” Jules wipes the moisture from her face, putting on a brave face for her best friend. “I just needed a moment to myself before everyone arrives.”
“Aww, babe!” The blonde is across the room in a flash, wrapping her into a hug. “It’s not too late, you know. I can smuggle you out a window, we can steal a couple horses, and—”
Jules laughs. “It’s okay. I have to do this; you know I do. I just… sometimes need to feel sorry for myself.”
“I wish there was another way.”
“I know. Me too. God, I wish it more than anything. But there are worse things than marrying someone who’s not your soulmate — just look at my parents.”
Chelsea gives her a sympathetic look. “But babe, your parents already loved each other.”
“Lucas is a good man. I could learn to love him; I know I can.”
“But—”
Jules stops her friend with a finger on her lips. “I don’t have a choice, Chels. I have to do this.”
Chelsea sighs. “Alright. In that case, I’ve been sent in search of you because some of Lucas’s family have arrived. Oh, and the best man! You should see him — what a dish!”
She nods, forcing a smile. “I’ll be right there.”
“Great! I’ll see you downstairs!”
Chelsea flits out of the room, and Jules takes one last look at the white dress. Then she straightens her shoulders, takes a deep breath, and follows her friend.
She greets Lucas’s mother and sister cordially, but there’s an awkwardness between them. They understand the need for him to marry, but no doubt she wasn’t their first choice. It certainly doesn’t help that everyone is fully aware she’s marrying him for one reason and one reason only — his money.
But it’s a mutually beneficial arrangement, and if his own soulmate hadn’t rejected him, then he wouldn’t need Jules. His father’s will stipulated that he marry by the age of 28 in order to gain full control of the business and his inheritance, and she was the only one that both met his standards and was desperate enough to throw away a future with her own soulmate.
And as the daughter of Jake and Jen Wilson, two people who fell in love despite not being destined for each other, she knows it can work. Their marriage has been a happy one, and she believes there’s no reason she and Lucas couldn’t have the same thing.
“Julianna! There you are,” he says as he appears at her elbow. “Mother, may I steal my fiancée? I have so many people to introduce her to.”
“Yes, yes, of course,” his mother replies, and Jules isn’t sure which of them is more relieved that she’s being stolen away. Someday she’ll learn how to speak to the intimidating woman, but she has the rest of their lives for that.
“Thank you,” she whispers as he leads her across the room.
“Don’t mention it,” he replies. “I’ve been dying to introduce you to Henrik.”
Henrik Bergström, Lucas’s best friend. The two of them met as teenagers when Lucas’s father was the British ambassador to Sweden, and apparently they were thick as thieves. When the Kohs moved back to the UK, they refused to let their friendship fall by the wayside, and even years later, they’re as close as ever.
Thanks to their whirlwind courtship, Jules hasn’t met Henrik yet, but she knows from everything Lucas has told her about him, she’s going to love him.
They come up to a long-haired man standing with his back to them as he studies a painting on the wall. Lucas says his name, and the man turns with a bright smile, his green eyes sparkling.
Green.
It takes Jules a moment to register it, but once she does, all the air is sucked out of her lungs. She can’t tear her gaze away, though, so she can pinpoint the exact moment that Henrik realizes it too by the flicker of recognition, quickly replaced by confusion.
Green. His eyes are green. She doesn’t even need anyone to tell her the name of the colour she’s seeing for the first time; she knows it instinctively, as if the knowledge has always been there, hidden below the surface, waiting to be revealed.
Henrik Bergström is her soulmate.
Her knees wobble, and both men reach out to grab her at the same time. It’s Lucas who grips her elbow, though, his eyes — dark brown — filled with concern.
“Are you okay? Do you need anything? Water?”
“I’m fine,” she insists, regaining her composure. “It’s these shoes, that’s all.”
He nods, stealing a look down at her feet. The three-inch heels are definitely taller than she’s used to.
“Julianna, this is Henrik. Henrik, my fiancée, Julianna.”
She squeezes her eyes shut for a brief moment, as if hoping that her mind is playing tricks on her and the kaleidoscope of colours assaulting her vision will disappear, replaced by the familiar grey-scale. But no luck. When they open again, that incredibly gorgeous shade of green is still there, staring back at her.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she holds out her hand. “Julianna Wilson, but most people call me Jules.”
Henrik looks down at the hand she’s offering but ignores it and throws his arms around her as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. And that’s exactly how it feels — natural. Like she was born to be in his arms.
Because she was.
“Henrik. You can call me whatever you like.” He takes a step back, but his gaze stays focused on her even as Lucas begins to share his plans for the week ahead, completely oblivious to the sizzling tension between them. His head tilts slightly, his lips pursing as he studies her. Probably wondering how his soulmate ended up engaged to his best friend. How much did Lucas even tell him?
“Henrik? Are you listening?”
Henrik’s gaze finally shifts to his friend, and it’s more disappointing than it should be to be robbed of it.
“Sorry, Lukey. What were you saying? Something about pigeons? Are you having some at the wedding?”
Lucas looks flustered. “Pigeons? No, we’re having doves, of course.”
“Ah, silly me! You know I don’t know your traditions.”
“I wasn’t talking about the wedding.”
“No? No doves at the wedding?”
“I mean, yes, but—Henrik, I was talking about clay pigeon shooting.”
“Oh!” He chuckles. “I sometimes forget that you’re posh.”
Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’m not posh, I’m—”
“Lucas!”
Jules turns to see Lucas’s friend and their host, Tom, coming up behind him and clapping Lucas on the back.
“Tom,” Lucas replies. “You remember Henrik.”
“Ah, yes, of course. Good to see you. Look, Lucas, could I steal you away for a moment? You see, I was wondering…”
Before Jules realizes what’s happening, Tom has already pulled Lucas aside, speaking into his ear. She protests, but it’s already too late — he’s gone, leaving her alone in the company of the one person who has the power to threaten everything for them both.
“So, um…” Henrik shuffles on his feet. “How do you know Lucas?”
She closes her eyes and breathes in deeply. “I can’t believe this is happening.”
“Why did you agree to marry him?”
His words are laced with hurt, and it pains her to no end. She can hardly come to grips with her own shock, but how much worse must his be? Coming to celebrate his friend’s wedding, only to discover that the bride is his soulmate? She made a choice to forego life with her soulmate, but he didn’t.
Looking him over, she notes all the fresh new colours she instinctively recognizes from years of hearing other people talk about them. Blonde hair, red lips. An ill-fitting navy-blue suit that she suspects he’s only wearing out of respect for his friend. He’s out of place in a place like the Beresford-King estate, and somehow that only makes him even more attractive to her.
“I’m sorry,” is all she can whisper. Her fight-or-flight response is leaning heavily towards flight, and she turns to run, to escape, only for him to grab her arm.
“Wait,” he pleads. “Help me understand.”
“How could you, though? How could you possibly understand?” Jules jerks her arm away as moisture pools in her eyes. She’s not prepared for the immense guilt washing over her.
“I don’t know!” Henrik rakes the fingers of both hands through his long locks, tussling it even more than it already was. “Do you love him?”
The fact she doesn’t just makes it worse, doesn’t it? If she did, it would be easier. People fall in love with people other than their soulmates all the time. Some never even find their true soulmates, so they don’t even have to reject them. But how many people reject their soulmates in favour of money?
Well, in their circles, probably quite a few — but she’s not like them.
“I—I can’t do this.”
This time when she runs away, Henrik doesn’t stop her. Tears streak down her cheeks faster than she can wipe them away as she weaves through the crowd of guests arriving for the pre-wedding festivities. Whispers follow her, but she blocks them out, focused only on getting out of there.
She doesn’t stop until she’s back in the same room as before. The wedding dress that taunted her earlier is now a boon, a familiar, comforting plain white. If she’d known an hour earlier that her true soulmate was downstairs, she might have taken up Chelsea’s offer to run away, so she could bask in the shades of grey that made up her world. She and Lucas could have eloped, and she would have made up every excuse in the world to never meet his best friend.
Sighing, she turns around, only to freeze when her eyes catch a glimpse of something new.
Pink.
Pink.
Okay, yes, Jules has a vague recollection of Chelsea telling her the bridesmaid dresses are pink, but with no concept of the colour, she’d let the information slip from her mind. But now, seeing the dresses hanging next to her own gown, she’s horrified.
“No, no, no!” she breathes as she snatches up the nearest dress with both hands and staring at it. How can she get married with pink bridesmaid dresses? They should be green, like Henr—No, no. She shakes her head. Blue, maybe. Yellow. Some other colour she hasn’t discovered yet. But pink? If she’d known this is where Chelsea’s tastes lie, she never would’ve let her pick all the colours for the wedding.
Footsteps sound in the hallway, but they don’t register in her brain until she hears Chelsea’s nickname for her.
“Jujube? Are you up here?” The door opens. “Jujube! You just ran off like—”
“What is this, Chelsea?” Jules asks, still clutching the dress.
“What is what, babe?” Chelsea tilts her head, gazing at her in confusion. “Have you been hit on the head, love? Those are your bridesmaid dresses, of course!”
“I know, I mean why are they pink?!” The words slip out before she realizes what she’s saying, and she claps a hand over her mouth.
“Babe, I told you that a bajillion—wait, what?”
Jules groans, any hope that Chelsea might have missed her slip of the tongue quickly being dashed as the other girl’s eyes widen and her mouth turns into a perfect ‘O’.
“Oh my god! You can see?! Babe, that’s amazing!”
“It’s horrible!”
“No, it—” Chelsea crosses the room and takes Jules’ hands in hers, her eyes — bright blue — sparkling. “Isn’t it beautiful? All the pretty colours? Wait till you see your first rainbow! I still remember the day I first met Rafi, it was like the whole world lit up! You remember, right? You were there! And falling in love, and—”
“Chelsea!” Jules squeezes her friend’s hands. “Don’t you get it?! I’m marrying Lucas in a week!”
“Yes, and it’s going to be so beautiful! And—” She pauses, her eyebrows furrowing, and she tilts her head to study Jules. “But you haven’t seen colour before.”
“Exactly!”
“Are you in love?!”
“No!”
“So you—” Chelsea gasps, her eyes growing impossibly wide as it finally sinks in. “No!” she breathes. “You met your soulmate?!”
“Yes!”
“AAHHH!” She squeals and throws her arms around Jules. “That’s so exciting!”
“No, it’s not!”
She pulls back, still gripping Jules’ arms. “It’s not? Oh my god! No, it’s not! Oh my god, you’re marrying Lucas!”
“Thank you!” Jules sighs with relief. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”
“You should’ve just said, babe! But what are we going to do? Or—wait, who even is it?”
“It’s Henrik!”
Chelsea gasps. “The best man?! Jules, you dirty—”
“Hey, it’s not my fault!”
“Okay, this is bad!”
“I know!”
“So what are you gonna do? Break off the wedding and ride into the sunset with your soulmate? Oh my god, how romantic!”
A fresh bout of tears wells up in Jules’ eyes as she shakes her head. “How can I do that? You know how much I need this wedding to happen, Chels!”
“I know! I know.” Chelsea paces back and forth, chewing her thumbnail. “Well, what if you talk to Lucas?”
“God, no, I can’t do that!”
“Why not?”
“He needs this to happen as much as I do.”
“But shouldn’t it be partly his decision?”
“Henrik’s my soulmate, not his. It’s better if he doesn’t know.”
“But—”
She hushes Chelsea as a light knock on the door sounds, followed by her fiancé’s voice asking for her. More guests have arrived, and the bride-to-be’s presence is requested.
“I’ll be right there!” she calls out, wiping her tears away with a sigh.
She’s not ready to face Lucas, and she’s definitely not ready to face Henrik again. But she can only hide for so long.
***
Jules’ gaze sweeps across the patio the next morning, looking for a place to sit. It’s a fine day, so tables have been set up outdoors for the guests to have breakfast, and it’s surprising how many of them have actually shown up this early in the morning. She’d thought the posh wankers wouldn’t show their faces before noon. Isn’t that what the sort of people who can afford to take a week out of their lives to spend time at someone’s country estate before the wedding of someone they barely know would do?
She wishes she could take her plate into the garden where she can sit on her own, but she’s the bride. She’s expected to mingle, at least a little bit. It’s all she can do to put on a brave face, pretending to be happy despite the turmoil inside.
“Jujube!”
Her relief at hearing Chelsea’s voice and seeing the wild waving of her arm is short-lived when she notices the other occupant of the table. There’s no mistaking the tall man with the long blonde hair, and she groans. Her traitor of a friend is fraternizing with the enemy.
If one’s soulmate ever could be considered an enemy.
There’s a furrow in Henrik’s brow as he looks over his shoulder to see who Chelsea’s waving at, and a myriad of emotions cross his face as he makes eye contact with Jules. Surprise. Delight. Uncertainty.
It would be rude to ignore them now, so Jules makes her way to the table and smiles politely at Henrik as she sits before shooting Chelsea a glare that has absolutely no effect.
“Good morning, Jujube! Isn’t it a lovely day? The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are in full bloom. Hopefully your wedding day is like this!”
Jules stifles a cough as she glances at Henrik. “Hm. Yes. It’s nice. Good morning, Henrik.”
He grins. “Good morning!”
“How did you sleep?” Taking a sip of her tea, she studies him over the rim. He’s much more casually dressed this morning than the night before in a light blue button-up and dark shorts, and the morning sun glances off his hair in a way that makes it shine. This can’t be any easier for him, yet he looks relaxed as he leans back in his chair and smiles at her.
“Great, thank you! The bed was too soft, so I slept on the floor, but there were plenty of blankets to make it comfy!”
Jules almost spits out her drink. He visits a luxury estate and sleeps on the floor?!
“Oh my god, you’re so funny!” Chelsea exclaims. She turns to Jules. “Did you know Henrik is a mountain climber? How thrilling!”
She shakes her head. “No, I don’t think Lucas ever mentioned it. Or if he did, I forgot.”
Henrik looks mildly disappointed at that, and Jules feels a stirring deep within her. God, how can she disappoint this man? Already she can feel how dangerous he is, how easily she could fall in love with him given the chance. It’s her destiny, but it’s more than that. Lucas is a great guy, but he’s from a world she doesn’t love. Henrik seems like exactly the sort of down-to-earth individual she could see herself being with even if there were no such thing as soulmates.
She needs to avoid him at all costs.
“I’ve been telling Henrik all about Rafi and how we met!” Chelsea explains. “Oh, did you know he has two brothers? I bet they’re as sexy as he is!”
“Rafi?” Jules asks in confusion. Rafi only has one brother that she remembers.
“No, Henrik!”
“They’re back in Sweden,” he says.
“Anyway,” Chelsea prattles on, “I was just about to tell Henrik that Rafi couldn’t make it to the wedding!” She gives an exaggerated pout. “He’s out somewhere filming a movie! He was so sad he couldn’t come, though. I’m sure he would’ve loved hearing about all your adventures!”
Jules focuses on her breakfast, more than happy to let Chelsea carry on the conversation while she tries to ignore Henrik’s presence. Emphasis on tries, as she can’t help but be attuned to his every gesture and unconscious movement, the timbre of his voice, his gorgeous smile, and the way his hair flutters with the light breeze.
The moment she swallows the last bite of her breakfast, she’s ready to bolt, only for Lucas to approach their table with a delighted smile.
“Henrik! Julianna! It’s so good to see you’re getting along.”
Any earlier, and she would have been choking on her food.
“I’m rounding everyone up who wants to join this morning’s activity,” he continues, blissfully unaware of the shadow that’s fallen upon the table. “Clay pigeon shooting. I hope you’ll all join us?”
“Oh, I don’t think—” Jules starts.
“We’d all love to!” Chelsea exclaims. She looks between Jules and Henrik. “You two should do it together!”
Jules stares at her in shock. Why on Earth would she suggest pairing the two of them together?
“Oh, I thought one of them would like to go with me,” Lucas replies, frowning.
Before Jules can volunteer, Chelsea butts in.
“I’ll go with you! You promised to show me how!”
“I did?”
“Of course! Don’t you remember?” She shoots out of her chair and threads her arm through his. “We’ll make a great pair!”
Chelsea pulls Lucas away, and once they’re out of earshot, Henrik clears his throat.
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”
Jules sighs as she gathers her dishes and stands up. “No, he’ll be expecting us now. Besides, I think I owe you an explanation.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
She closes her eyes against the tears that threaten to swell at his kindness. “Yes, I do.”
***
Henrik lifts the gun to his shoulder and tracks the clay soaring through the sky. The gun roars as he takes the shot, but the trajectory of the flying object doesn’t alter.
“Missed again.” He shrugs, lowering the gun. “Oops.”
“Maybe next time.”
Then it’s Jules’ turn, and the clay pigeon drops to the ground.
“You’ve done this before,” Henrik comments.
Jules points the barrel downwards and looks over to where Lucas is giving Chelsea pointers.
“A time or two.” She may not have the money that most of Lucas’s friends have, but she’s been to plenty of weekend getaways to the country. It’s how she and Lucas met. “Would you like to take a walk?”
“Yes, please,” Henrik says with relief evident in his voice. “I’m not really into shooting things.”
She gives him a small smile, and they hand off their guns to a staff member before walking towards the forest, where she knows there are trails.
“So,” she begins when they reach the privacy of the trees, “you must have all sorts of questions.”
“I know Lucas needs to marry to gain control of his company,” Henrik says, lifting a branch so she can duck beneath it, “and I know what happened with Hope. So I guess I just want to know why you agreed to marry him.”
“You could have asked Lucas.”
“I want to hear it from you.”
The pain in his voice, though veiled, is evident enough, and it strikes a knife through her chest.
Jules wraps her arms around herself, despite not being cold. “I need the money.”
There, it’s out. The cold, naked truth. Her motives are completely mercenary, making her no better than the gold-diggers back at the estate, marrying someone for their bank account.
Henrik stops in his tracks and turns to her, looking surprised. As if he already knows her and doesn’t believe she would be that sort of person. Well, she is. She has to be.
“What for?”
She sighs and looks around. She needs to be sitting down for this conversation. Taking his hand and trying to ignore the spark that travels up her arm at his touch, she leads him down a path until the trees break and a large pond spreads out before them. They take a seat on a bench at the edge of the water, and he waits earnestly for her to speak.
“My father’s restaurant is failing,” she says, looking out over the glassy surface of the pond. “Next to me and my mum, it’s the love of his life, and I can’t bear to watch him lose it. Not now, not after everything he’s been through.”
“What happened?” Henrik asks softly.
Jules takes a deep breath, the pain of what she’s about to tell him still fresh in her heart even after years of living through it. “A few years ago, he got sick. Really sick. He’s better now, thank God, but for a while there…” She swallows, shaking her head slightly. “Mum was busy looking after him, so I dropped out of school to do as much as I could for the restaurant. It wasn’t enough, though. I might’ve grown up in that kitchen, but running it the way he did? I never realized how big his shoes were until I tried to fill them.”
A line appears between Henrik’s eyebrows. “Why did you need to wear his shoes?”
She laughs despite herself, wiping a tear from the corner of her eye. “It’s just an expression. Basically, I could never live up to his legacy.”
“I’m sure that’s not true.”
“No, it is.” She gives him a wry smile. “And I’m okay with that. My dad is amazing. And that was never more obvious than when he was sick, because the restaurant suffered. The food wasn’t as good, servers were quitting. Loyal customers stopped coming. And once you lose that loyalty, it’s hard to get it back, you know?”
Jules sniffles as she bites back tears, and Henrik places a comforting hand on hers, his warmth spreading through her.
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know, I just—I need to make it right. How can he build the restaurant back up to what it was if he can’t even make the loan payments?”
Henrik frowns. “And marrying Lucas is going to help?”
“He’s willing to become an investor, but he needs control of the company to do so. It’s a marriage that benefits us both. Plus, he’ll pay for me to finish school, which is more than I could ask for.”
“What are you studying?”
She smiles. “It’s my dream to become a veterinarian. I was halfway through my courses when I had to drop out.”
He nods pensively, his face a mask as he watches a family of ducks swim by. Jules wrings her hands, wishing she could tell what he’s thinking about… and what he thinks of her.
Finally, he speaks. “This is important to you, isn’t it?”
Sighing softly, she nods. “I know my father would give up everything for me, and I’m willing to give up everything for him.”
“Including me.”
“I…” It’s harder to say the words than she expected. When she decided to marry Lucas, she knew she would be giving up a lot — but now, having met Henrik, the full weight of what she’s doing settles on her shoulders. She’s not merely giving up some nameless, faceless soulmate who only exists in her dreams — she’s giving up a life of happiness with this man beside her, who’s far more real than she could have imagined. Any time she goes to bed with Lucas, it will be Henrik’s face that haunts her. Even as the colour in her world fades, she’ll never forget the vivid green of his eyes and the moment everything changed. She swallows, and it burns like acid dripping down her throat. “Yes,” she whispers. “Even you.”
Jules isn’t sure how she expects him to react, but it’s certainly not the way he pulls her into him, his arms wrapping tightly around her. She can hear the quickened pace of his heart as it beats in his chest, feel his shoulders shake as his hopes and dreams for the future come crashing down. The tears that have been threatening to fall finally spill over, soaking the front of his shirt as sobs rack through her body.
Why does he have to be so bloody understanding? Why can’t he yell and scream and throw things? Maybe then it would hurt less. If she could be angry, maybe she wouldn’t be so sad.
The soft kiss he presses on the top of her head — the gentlest brush of his lips — is the last straw. Breaking away from his hold, she runs back through the woods, wiping away the moisture that blurs her vision as she returns to the house.
***
Her parents arrive late the next morning. Jules throws herself into her father’s arms, the warmth of him and his familiar, comforting scent reminding her why she’s doing all this in the first place. The moment she’s able to get them alone and in private, she bares her soul, telling them everything about Henrik and Lucas and the quandary she finds herself in.
When she’s finished speaking, Jake and Jen Wilson give each other a look, communicating with their eyes the way only two people who have been in love for decades can do.
Her lower lip quivers. “Am I doing the right thing?”
“Oh, honey,” Jen says, moving to sit beside Jules and pulling her into a hug. “You know I don’t for one second regret marrying your father, but this is your life, not ours. We just want you to be happy.”
Jake sits on the other side, encompassing both of them in his arms. “I appreciate what you want to do for us,” he says. “For the restaurant. But sweetheart, this is your life, your happiness.”
“I can be happy with Lucas!”
“I know you can.” He smiles softly. “But you could be happier with your soulmate.”
“But you—”
“You can’t compare your situation to ours, Jules. You have your own life to live, your own love to give. Your mother and I only want the best for you.”
“But the restaurant—”
“Is just a restaurant. My daughter means so much more to me than a business.”
“I can’t let you lose it, though! Not after—”
“I know you feel guilty about the restaurant failing, but none of it is your fault, sweetie. These things happen. If it weren’t my health, it could have been another thing.”
“But you love it!”
“I do. But I love my family more, and running a restaurant is a lot of work. Maybe it would be better if I didn’t have that responsibility and could just be a head chef somewhere.”
Jules pulls back in shock. “Work for someone else? You?!”
Jake gives her a wry smile. “If I have to, yes. I had a chance to live my dream, and I’m willing to let it go.”
“Dad…”
He squeezes her hand. “I just want you to follow your heart and do what’s right for you, not for anyone else. That’s what will make me happy.”
“But what about Lucas?”
Jake shrugs. “Lucas isn’t my concern. If not you, I’m sure he can find someone else to marry him.”
Could he, though? It took him long enough to find Jules, or so he said. Maybe he’s just picky, but it’s inching closer to the deadline for him to marry, and Jules would feel terrible about breaking things off now, when everything has been set, money has been spent, and the majority of their family and friends have already arrived. It would be embarrassing for him to be dumped at this late stage — especially for the best man.
Lucas may not be her parents’ concern, but he’s still hers. There are three lives which will be irreversibly altered by this decision, and she has to consider every angle. But rather than clarify things, her discussion with her parents has done nothing but further muddy the waters.
Leaving them to unpack and rest, she heads down the hallway towards her own room when she hears a familiar male voice, and her heart leaps.
Henrik.
She pauses, looking for the source of the sound and finding a door that’s been left slightly ajar.
“What do you think?” This time Lucas is speaking. “These cufflinks were my father’s, but I think these ones will go better.”
Jules can barely hear Henrik’s muffled response, and she moves closer almost involuntarily, as if her brain is sending signals to her limbs that her other half is near, drawing her to him.
Whatever he said, it’s made Lucas frustrated. “What’s gotten into you, Henrik? I thought you were excited for me, but since you arrived, you’ve barely shown any enthusiasm.”
Her breath catches in her throat. Henrik’s not going to tell him, is he? They haven’t discussed it, but it seems to her that if either of them confesses the truth, it should be her. And she’d rather not do that unless she absolutely needs to.
“I’m sorry, Luc. I… I’m happy for you. Jules seems…”
There’s a smile in Lucas’s voice as he responds. “She’s lovely, isn’t she? The moment I met her, I knew you’d love her. I know she’s only marrying me because she needs to, but I think there could be something more between us someday."
The knot in Jules’s stomach that’s been present since she met Henrik tightens. It’s nothing she hasn’t thought herself, but hearing it from Lucas’s mouth hits harder.
Henrik mumbles a glum response that she doesn’t quite catch.
“I’m just so glad I found her. You know how much it means to me to carry on Father’s legacy at the company, and now I can.”
She swallows as she backs away. Lucas’s words are only making things harder, increasing her guilt over her feelings for Henrik.
“Anyway, if you don’t have an opinion on these cufflinks, I’ll ask my mother. She’ll know best.”
Jules is already halfway down the hall when she hears her name, and she reluctantly turns to find Lucas coming towards her, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he smiles at her.
“I’m glad I caught you,” he says. “I’m going to ask my mother something, but would you like to go for a walk or ride afterwards? I feel like we’ve barely spoken in days.”
She forces a smile onto her face. “Sure, Lucas. I would love that.”
“Great.”
His hand brushes the small of her back as they fall into step together. But as they turn the corner, she can’t resist looking over her shoulder, where Henrik leans against the doorframe of the room, watching them with a dejected look on his face.
***
“Julianna, darling, do you have a moment?”
Jules glances over her shoulder to find her mother approaching, a worried expression on her face.
“Sure, let me just—Wait, no! That table doesn’t go there! Yes, that one—over there, please!”
With only days to go before the big day, the preparations have ramped up, and she’s overseeing the setup of the ballroom for the reception. Satisfied that her directions are being followed, she turns to Jen.
“Have you seen Chelsea? She was supposed to be here, oh—a quarter of an hour ago,” she says, looking at the clock on her phone.
“I’m sorry, love, I haven’t. But I was just looking at the seating chart, and I’m afraid there’s been a mistake.”
Jules frowns. “What do you mean?”
“You can’t put Erikah Vachon and Rohan Chopra at the same table.”
“Why not?”
“They’ll kill each other.”
Her brows furrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Honey, they hate each other.”
“They do? But—”
“Jujube!” Chelsea runs into the room and grabs Jules’ arm. “You’ll never believe—”
“I didn’t realize they knew each other.”
“—what’s happened! It’s a disaster!”
“No, you wouldn’t, I suppose—”
“Everything is ruined!”
“Wait, hold up!” Jules holds her hand up, and both women pause. “Chelsea, where have you been?”
“Soz, babe, but you need to hear this!”
“Just consider changing the table assignments, dear.”
“Really?” Chelsea turns to Jen, her eyes wide. “Now?! But everything’s been set and printed!”
“What’s going on, Chels?”
Chelsea snaps back to attention and holds up her phone. “You know Bobby’s Bake Shop?”
Jules puts her fingers to her temple. “Bobby, Bobby… He’s doing the cake, right?”
“Yes! Or, well… He just called. And, um… I don’t know how to tell you this, but…”
“Just spit it out!”
“There was a fire in the kitchen! Just a small one, everything’s okay, but—”
“But what?”
“Well…” Chelsea grimaces. “He’s not going to be able to do the wedding cake.”
Jules groans, dropping her head back. “What?! No cake? Are you serious? The wedding is in—”
“Julianna? Julianna! There you are.”
She spins around at the sound of her fiancé’s voice. “Lucas? I’m in a bit of a crisis here!”
“I apologize, but I’ve just been informed that there’s an issue with the string quartet.”
“What?” She rakes her fingers through her hair. “What kind of issue?”
“The cellist is ill. They’re backing out.”
“What?!”
The apologetic clearing of a throat behind her, followed by yet another wedding-related question, is what finally breaks her.
“I’m sorry, I can’t—I can’t deal with this!”
Jules turns and flees, her head spinning as she dodges a few people she’s not even sure she’s met before in the hallway. Her throat closes up as the tears start to flow. Is the universe trying to give her a sign? Is nothing going to go right for her as long as she continues with her plan to marry the wrong man?
She pushes through the back door, and even then she keeps going, past the guests that are mingling on the patio. She continues to the garden, where flowers bloom in bursts of colour. Never could she have imagined the delight that could be found in the plants that until a few days ago had merely been fragrant reminders of what she couldn’t see. Now, she takes solace in the solitude of the garden, breathing in deeply of the sweet aroma.
“Are you okay?”
Startled, Jules gasps as she spins on her heel to face the intruder — although it turns out, she’s the intruder. Henrik is a mere few feet away, lying on a blanket with a book in his hand, staring up at her with soulful green eyes.
“I’m sorry,” she says quickly. “I didn’t know you were here. I can… I can go.”
She bites her lip as she gazes at him uncertainly. On one hand, she’s been avoiding him and should definitely keep doing so. On the other hand, she’s drawn to him like an oasis in the desert, and before she knows what she’s doing, she’s lowering herself to the blanket as Henrik makes room for her.
“Is everything alright?” he asks again, his voice soft and caring. He reaches out as if to touch her reassuringly, only to pull his hand back.
Jules sighs, wiping the tears from her cheeks. “It’s fine.” She pauses. “Well, besides the wedding being ruined, but I just needed to get away from everything for a minute.”
“The wedding is ruined?”
There’s far too much hope in his voice for her liking. But she ignores it, telling him about the cake and the cellist and the seating plan, and ends up pouring out so much more than intended. How she doesn’t like the bridesmaid dresses, how she never wanted her wedding to be some huge society week-long event, how she has no idea what she’s doing and can’t even be excited about it because it’s all wrong, and—
“God, I can’t believe I’m telling you all this,” she says, dropping her head in her hands.
“It’s okay. I like listening to you.”
Her heart squeezes in her chest. This is why she can’t spend time with him — he’s too precious, too good. Too perfect for her in a way that Lucas never could be. It’s sheer torture being around him, knowing she can’t have him. But now that she’s in his presence, she can’t bear to leave.
“Enough about the wedding, though. What brings you out here?”
His grin is sweet and full of delight. “I’ve always loved the outdoors, but now? Seeing all the colours? I can’t get enough.”
As if she doesn’t feel guilty enough, he has to dump that one on her. Jules has never really considered the consequences of rejecting her soulmate, but doing so will supposedly rob them both of the brilliance of their newfound colours. They won’t lose them entirely, but everything will be desaturated — a constant reminder of what they rejected.
Her decision will cost him dearly.
Swallowing the lump in her throat, she gives him the briefest of smiles. “It’s beautiful out here.”
Henrik beams at her, and in a moment of weakness, she lays down next to him, propping herself up on her elbow. She doesn’t miss the way his eyes sweep over her figure, nor the longing expression in them.
He licks his lips, then returns his gaze to meet hers. “What’s your favourite colour?” he asks.
“Green,” Jules replies without thinking, and only barely stops herself from adding, “like your eyes.” The thought formulates in her mind, though, causing a blush to form on her cheeks.
He smiles, those same eyes that have been haunting her since she first saw them twinkling. “I like green, too.” He pauses. “And blue.”
“Why blue?”
“It’s the first one I saw.”
The blush deepens, and she smiles, lowering her gaze. She feels almost giddy, like a schoolgirl forming her first crush — except more.
Her breath hitches as Henrik reaches out and brushes a wisp of hair back from her forehead, tucking it behind her ear. He looks at her lips, and her heart pounds as she feels the space between them shrinking. She should stop it, but she’s powerless to do so, instead leaning in and closing the distance.
The brush of his lips on hers sends a spark through her, spreading to each of her limbs and warming her from the inside. His kiss is like magic, bursting through her veins and making her feel whole like she never has before. His lips gently part hers, slotting together like puzzle pieces — a perfect match.
But all at once, the spell breaks and the weight of what she’s doing knocks her back, and Jules gasps as she breaks off the kiss and scrambles away from him, her eyes wide.
“Oh my god. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have—”
“No, wait,” Henrik pleads as she rushes to her feet. “Jules, please!”
“I’m sorry, Henrik,” she says, dragging her fingers through her hair as she fights off tears for what feels like the millionth time this week. “I made a promise. Maybe if we’d met earlier… It’s too late now. I can’t—I can’t back out now.”
It kills her to see the pain on his face, knowing she’s inflicted it. This man deserves to be loved, not left. But leave him, she must. Spinning on her heels, she escapes the garden and the man she wants nothing more than to have and to cherish.
***
The church walls seem to swell with the hauntingly beautiful tones of the organ as Jules waits for her cue to walk down the aisle. The bridesmaids have already blazed the trail in their hideous gowns, and now the hundreds of guests in the pews are ready for her to appear.
The past couple of days have been the longest of her life, counting down to this moment. Last-minute wedding preparations and running around fixing problems have helped, but every waking moment has been weighed down by thoughts of Henrik. The memory of his lips on hers, the way her soul awakened at his touch. Avoiding him was difficult, but it was necessary, and she’s finally reached the precipice, the point of no return.
She smooths the folds of her dress, clutching her bouquet tightly as her father appears at her side, offering his arm.
“Ready?” he asks, his eyes kind and full of love and admiration.
Jules gulps as she circles her hand around his elbow. She takes a deep breath, then shakes her head.
“Are you afraid?”
“Terrified,” she admits. Her stomach is a bundle of knots, impossible to detangle. She wants nothing more than to run away, to admit that what she’s about to do is wrong, but she’s committed. Lucas needs this, her father needs this, she needs it. Sometimes people have to knowingly choose the wrong path.
“Jules…” Jake covers her hand with his. “I’ll love you no matter what.”
Her heart squeezes in her chest. Even if he lost his restaurant, his house, and all his possessions, and he would never love her less. But that’s exactly why she has to go through with this.
“Thanks, Dad.”
The organ changes tunes, and she hears the shuffle of people rising to their feet. It’s time.
Forcing a smile onto her face, she concentrates on the movement of her feet, one step at a time as they walk down the aisle. It’s nothing like the moment she dreamed of as a little girl — her soulmate is at the other end of the aisle, but he’s not the man she’s marrying.
Jules focuses her attention on Lucas, not daring to let her eyes stray to his side. He looks happy, relieved… but not overjoyed like a groom should.
This isn’t right!
All too soon, she’s standing before him, passing her bouquet off to Chelsea and placing her hands in his. The bishop speaks, but the words don’t register — all her attention is on the effort it takes to keep her gaze locked on Lucas instead of looking over his shoulder at the one her very soul is drawn to.
And then Lucas is squeezing her hands, and she hears her name.
“Julianna Millicent Wilson, do you take Lucas Koh to be your lawfully wedded husband?”
Her vision blurs, and she blinks. When she opens her eyes, she sees it.
Hey all! As you may know, we run a monthly prompt competition on the r/LITGFanFiction subreddit (which is a great place to find chapter updates and ask for recommendations, or look for help if you're writing fics of your own).
For February, the prompt was to: Write a forbidden romance fic!
We had some amazing submissions, and now it's time to vote for your favourite!
Here they are:
Lessons in Lust by @queen-of-boops
Where everything stands still by @mrsbsmooth
cocked and loaded by @longbobmckenzie
They’re all great as usual, so I'd encourage you to read them and cast your vote! And keep an eye out for our March prompt - we'd love to see more people submit their entries!
Summary: From the moment his eyes meet hers across the crowded club, Henrik knows that Autumn is special. He just has no idea how true that statement really is.
Pairing: Henrik x MC
Rating: E
POV: Alternating POV between Henrik and MC
Posting Schedule: Weekly on Mondays
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✨💛 This is the Amazing Person Award! 🏆 Once you are given this award you are supposed to paste it in the ask of 8 different people, who in your opinion, deserve it. If you break the chain nothing will happen, but it is sweet to know someone thinks you're amazing inside and out. ✨
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