I just got another ask from one of you lovely people noticing I'm completely MIA from the fandom over the past two seasons. I scrolled through my inbox and while I don't foresee myself replying to every ask, I thought I'd just jump on real quick and let you guys know why I'm not playing any more?
Trying really hard to not make this sound like a 'this isn't an airport you don't need to announce your departure' etc but regardless.
There's not one reason in particular, really. There's multiple. Firstly, and probably most importantly, I'm busy. I've mentioned a few times I've got a kid, and she's now almost two, so you can imagine a lot of my time's being taken up by running around after an active toddler, working, and trying to keep some semblance of a healthy lifestyle. The hours I do have to myself comprise the second reason.
I've found something else that challenges me more creatively than writing for LITG does. I know HP isn't everyone's cup of tea but the ship I'm writing has forced me to develop my skills as a writer so much more than I felt I could in LITG, and if I ever want to publish something, I need to focus on things that are challenging me creatively. Reading over my LITG fics, honestly, the haters were right. All my characters are written the same, they have the same dialogue--- to whoever it was that sent me that hate ask like two years ago, hold on to it. You were right. But I've improved. A lot. So thank you, I guess, for putting that in my head and forcing me to be better. Sometimes you gotta let the haters win, because the haters are telling you what you need to hear.
The third reason is probably the biggest, and the one that you guys assumed. I'm bored. I'm bored and disappointed with this game that I so used to love. They keep dropping the same broad-shouldered, skinny-nose character design over and over and over. The same gimmicks and one-dimensional characters and stupid clichés and it's boring. I've seen snippets of great dialogue and some great feedback but overall it's just the same shit again. It's the same lazy storylines, the same forced drama with no basis, the same lame ideas just tied up with a different ribbon, and I'm fucking bored.
I'm probably still gonna play THTH, I'll be honest. I can't see myself missing out on that. But, at least until I see someone I trust assuring me the game's back on track, I'm out. I just don't see the point any more. I still duck in and out of the discords to keep up with people I love but short of the annual Christmas fic exchange I can't see myself writing for LITG again. I'm sorry to disappoint.
My WIPs will stay WIPs. I'm not going to take them down, but I'm also not actively working on them either. I want to finish Unhealthy, but it probably won't be for quite a while. I'm sorry to those who are invested or waiting for updates. I just don't care about it any more, and I don't want to force words when I don't care about them.
I appreciate every single one of you who reached out asking if I was okay. Or everyone who's read one of my fics, sent me an ask, been a fun, welcoming member of this fandom. You are all wonderful. Gorgeous humans, each and every one of you. I love you to pieces and I can't wait for THTH to drop so we can play again.
Suz (MrsBSmooth / Pearlbracelet)
