chronicyurning

He/Null 🏳️‍⚧️ | 18 i like to write and draw

[chronicyurning]

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SFW AO3 | NSFW AO3 | NSFW TUMBLR | NSFW BLUESKY | Writing Masterpost

Hello! My name is Dekay (pronounced decay) and I write and draw. I'm currently fixating on Ryan Gosling so most of my content will be about him and his characters.

Feel free to @ me in things! As of right now, fanfic requests are open (just use the ask), and art commissions are closed. As for tags, mine are as follows:

yurning4art - my art yurning4words - my writing yurning.txt - my rambles yurning4reblogs - my reblogs

Writing Request Guide under the cut

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If you want to request something but aren't sure how to, here's a little guide of what you can include:

Ship (romantic or platonic) - If it's an x reader, specify what gender the reader is (male, female, transmasc, transfem, gender-neutral, etc.) - If you don't list the gender of the reader, I'm simply going to make them gender-neutral - If there is no ship (like in character headcanon posts, for example) just skip this step.

General idea / prompt

What type of writing you want (headcanon, imagine, ficlet/oneshot, etc.) - I'm not taking any requests for long-fics right now.

Remember that I don't take any NSFW requests here! If you want to do that, go to my NSFW Tumblr (no minors). If you've previously requested something and you didn't mention these things, no worries. Either re-submit your (updated) request if you're worried I might interpret it wrong, or just leave it :))!

[chronicyurning]

Stay (2005) details!! pt. 2

Stay Masterpost (more analysis here)

Obviously huge Stay (2005) spoilers, as well as TW for blood, death, smoking, and subtle mentions of survivor's guilt/PTSD. Any and all pictures are fictional; any depictions of violence are fake.

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Sam's pants are comically short in the dream because Henry saw him crouching irl, which made the fabric ride up.

When Henry is laying on the cot, we see that his pupils are blown. This indicates brain stem death/brain injury.

Along with this, when Sam sees the doctor after Olive bites him, there are also brain scans on the wall.

When Henry flips the chess table, it magically appears back up in a following shot.

When Sam is visiting Henry's mom, there are whispers in the background. They seem to be from Henry's childhood. One of them is his mother calling him her baby boy.

Along with that: there are multiple other scenes where there are similar whispers and the baby crying. One of which is when Henry is dying on the bridge, where we hear childlike laughter.

Henry and Athena might've not been wearing seatbelts when they crashed, hence why both of them go flying out the front window.

Henry's cigarettes go out extremely fast.

This one isn't really a detail 'cause it's said outright…but I thought it was cute: Henry likes pecan pie and coffee.

And last...I leave you with cute Henry picture :))

[chronicyurning]

Stay (2005) details!!

Stay Masterpost (more analysis here)

Obviously huge Stay (2005) spoilers, as well as TW for blood, death, self-harm, smoking, and subtle mentions of survivor's guilt/PTSD. Any and all pictures are fictional; any depictions of violence are fake.

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Sam hugs the way Henry does (he caresses their back and puts his head in their neck).

When Sam goes looking for Henry at the art store, there are people in the back carrying black umbrellas. Y'know. Like a funeral.

Henry's right side of his shirt collar is always tucked in. This could be a continuity error, or it could be because the way he landed when he crashed (his head laid to the right). Along with this, his collar isn't buttoned all the way because, as he's lying on the ground, Henry tells Sam he can't breathe, leading Sam to unbutton it.

On the topic of Henry's clothing, he always wears dark colors, but in his memories, he wears lighter ones. His shoelaces are also untied because that's how they were during the crash.

There's the repeated mention of confusing eye colors because Athena has brown eyes and Lila has blue. Henry was trying to decipher if it was really his girlfriend or not by the color of her eyes.

We can see this when Sam asks Lila out for coffee. There is a flash of the dream world Henry made, with Sam holding the ring and Lila's blue eyes masking the window.

As Sam is running to the Brooklyn bridge, there's photos of Henry's face and skulls scattered on advertisements. There's also mailboxes with the word "lies" on them.

When Sam falls on the stairs, there are flashes of Henry's memories in the form of pictures. In one of the flashes, Henry silhouette flickers between his normal self and his child self.

During that same scene, there are jellyfish in the background. Personally, I feel like these represent Athena because this was when Sam was chasing after her. That, or it could be his family/childhood.

During that same flashback, we see Henry and Athena doing the same thing Lila and Sam were doing at the beginning of the movie: reciting Hamlet and Henry drawing. This is one of the memories that shows Henry in lighter clothing. Plus more jellyfish.

Plus some more photos from it. It shows Henry with his family + his dog. The last one doesn't really make sense since Olive is said to have been put down when Henry was 12, but I think it's just showing adult Henry in child Henry's place. Even more jellyfish.

There are multiple shots throughout the film that visually align Henry with other characters, like Sam and Athena. I think this represents how this whole thing is a made up reality and that each "character" in it is just an extension of Henry's imagination.

There were multiple burn marks on Henry's arms. He chronically self-harmed. Athena also mentions this when Sam goes to meet her.

When Henry starts bleeding from his head, everyone stops to look at him. They do the same with Sam right after.

[chronicyurning]

Fun fact: sometimes people who have a dead spouse will move their wedding ring onto their right hand. Y’know who else has a ring on their ring hand?

[chronicyurning]

Henry's relationship w/ drugs in Stay (2005)

Spoilers for Stay (2005) as well as TW for mentions of self-harm, overdosing + drug abuse.

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I've seen this mentioned once or twice but never really gone into full detail about...so here I am. Throughout Stay (2005), there are multiple references to drugs (including alcohol), as well as references to abusing them.

Firstly, there is strong evidence that Henry is supposed to be on medication but chooses not to take it. Near the beginning of the movie, Sam goes to a mental hospital to get advice about what to do with Henry. He walks in on a woman being held down, with the scene playing out as follows:

"He's coming! He's coming! I am not a monster, goddamn you! Get off of me!" "Nobody's calling you a monster, Daisy. Come on now." "Please! You said you would- I don't deserve this! "Well, if you'd just remember to take your pills, you wouldn't have to go through this." "I'm not a monster. I'm loveable." "I know you are." Doctor sedates Daisy "I'm loveable. Stop! No, please! I'm loveable." "Very loveable." "He's coming! I oughta know he's coming!" Doctors drag Daisy out. "I'll be good. I'll be good! I don't want to- No!

After this, Sam confronts a doctor, the same one that sedated Daisy, about Henry's suicidal ideation. The doctor asks what Henry is on, and Sam confirms that he won't take any meds.

We then cut to Sam counting Lila's pills in their shared apartment. He notices that Lila has an excess amount of her medication, meaning she's secretly stopped taking them. This directly correlates Henry's experience with Lila's. In a later scene, Sam confronts Lila about her misuse of medication:

"You stopped taking your pills. I've been counting. You haven't taken one in weeks." "I don't need 'em anymore." "Well, that's a decision we should've made together." "I can't paint on meds. I can't." "Well, it makes me nervous. I'm not happy you did this in secret." "Well, I'm not happy you're counting my pills in secret. We have to trust eachother."

With this, we now know just why Henry won't take his medication. Sam's negative reaction also reminds me of the scene in the mental hospital. Both Sam and the doctor "punish" someone for not taking their meds, emotionally and physically. This leads me to believe that Henry was punished for misusing his meds as well.

As for what medication Henry is on, we get the answer when Sam count's Lila's pills. Here, we can see that Lila is prescribed 100mg of Klonopin in the form of a tablet, taken 2x daily. We can also see that Sam is the one who prescribed her it.

According to Healthline, Klonopin is used to treat seizures as well as Panic disorder. I have no reason to believe that Henry suffered from seizures, so Henry likely had Panic Disorder, which is characterized by frequent, sudden panic attacks with a fear of having another attack in periods of calm.

Henry's Panic Disorder likely was debilitating, hence the need for medication. But if he refused to take his meds, he had to find another way to cope. I believe he used self-harm and alcohol to replace the effects his medication could've had (which there is also evidence for!!), as well as plainly misusing his medication (as in taking too much).

The first reference to drug misuse is at the beginning of the movie when Sam is walking into his "office" to meet with Henry. Another employee (played by the same actress of Princess Caroline, Amy Sedaris) is on the phone talking to someone. The conversation goes as follows:

"I just start drinking and doing a lot of, like, pills. 'Cause then it just kills the pain, and then I can just deal with it later." Person on phone responds "I'm just saying- I'm not telling you to go drink. I know you go to meetings. I'm just telling you what works for me, okay? Y'know, it's really hard to deal with those feelings." Person on phone responds "Well, drinking kills feelings. That's why."

And the second reference is when Sam goes to talk with Beth at her apartment. Beth, who has been M.I.A since the beginning of the movie, is found to be clearly inebriated.

"You can't drink while you're taking these." "Mm. Apparently I can." "No, you can't. Come on, Beth. I want you to come take a shower."

Here, we can see that Beth seems to be taking the same klonopin that Henry was taking.

This would make sense given that Klonopin is not meant to be combined with alcohol or other medications as it could result in death. All this to say, the drug misuse in both of these scenes seem to possibly reflect Henry's own coping mechanisms.

Lastly, the dosage on Lila's medication doesn't make sense. Depending on which condition you take Klonopin for, dosages can vary. Healthline says that Panic Disorder has a standard of 1mg. Lila's bottle lists 100mg. Even when it's used to treat seizures, the maximum recommended dose is 20mg, so this is very odd. To me, this could be a simple mistake on the prop designers side where they didn't know the proper dosage for Klonopin...or it could be representative of Henry abusing his drugs by taking more than he should, hence the 100mg.

Woof...alright. That's all I got for now. As always, let me know what you guys think :)) I love discussion!

[almondcroissantsandink]

do puppet show? NO. do MUPPET SHOW

[rygos-screencaps]

Henry & Sam in STAY (2005) dir. Marc Forster.

[rygos-screencaps]

Ryan Gosling as Henry Letham in STAY (2005) dir. Marc Forster.

[rygos-screencaps]

Ryan Gosling as Henry Letham in STAY (2005) dir. Marc Forster.

[chronicyurning]

Imagine Cooking for Colt (Colt Seavers x Gn! Reader)

Fall Guy Masterpost

First time writing Colt who cheered. Just a little domestic imagine to ease me into it.

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After his accident, Colt had dove headfirst into health and cooking. He would grow his own produce, using greens and meats to create the perfect diet to suit his needs. When he's called back to work, however…things get complicated. He doesn't have the time nor the energy to create specialized meal plans, much less to cook in bulk for meal prep. It's only natural that you take over for him.

The first time it happens, Colt walks into your shared apartment, absolutely caked with grime from work. The day has worn on him, you can tell, what with the way his face falls flat and his frame lags with exhaustion. The moment he turns into the kitchen and sees the table set, he stops in his tracks. You watch with a smile, questioning if he likes the surprise. You're shocked when he quietly starts crying.

After that, cooking gets put on hold. Colt assures you it wasn't anything you did—or at least not in the negative way you think. In reality, seeing you support his needs would've made him gooey inside any day…but adding a bad shift on top of that? He was a goner (hence why he had a impromptu breakdown at the end of the kitchen counter). Still, you worry about making him upset again, so you put a pin in any plans you had conjured up on the off chance something would happen.

It's only when you see Colt scrolling for take-out for the third time in a week that you begin to scheme again. You couldn't have him eating slop; not when he deserved so much more. So, you secretly create a fool proof plot.

The second time goes much better than the first, given that it's breakfast in bed. You wake up early in order to get everything situated, already having bought the ingredients on your last grocery run. There's an underlapping urge to rush, knowing that Colt sometimes wakes up when you're not by his side, yet you try to be as quiet as you can. It works in the end, with you bringing a tray to bed two minutes before his alarm goes off. He blearily blinks awake when you nudge his shoulder, sitting up with a confused murmur. When he spots the food, he looks at you like you've hung the moon and stars in the sky. You get lots of kisses that morning, even if they're slightly greasy from the bacon.

After that and many more surprise meals, he gets used to it. Expects it, even. You two build a routine around it: you sitting at the table scrolling online for recipes with Colt by your side, his head leaned on your shoulder. He'll chime in here and there depending on what is shown the screen, humming in that gruff voice of his when he sees something he likes.

When it comes to actually making the food, Colt will linger, talking to you about his/your day and looking at you with those puppy eyes of his. Sometimes he'll wait at the table, subtly glancing in your direction to try and eye whatever it is that you're making. Other times, he'll stand behind you, arms wrapped around your waist while he kisses your cheek or neck because damn if he's gonna let some noodles get in the way of physical touch. He knows by now that if he tries to help, you'll smack him with whatever utensil you're currently using. And you know that you're happy to help him in any way you can…so it's a win-win situation.

Feel free to use this idea for fics/art! Just credit me ;p What I listened to while writing: Sweet

Tag List: @eridianhearts

[osgoss]

Look at my detectives dawg 😭😭😭

[chronicyurning]

HELL YEAHHHHHHHHH

[blopcattt]

guess who finally watched stay

[powdered-rainbow]

How To Beat Your Therapist At Her Sick Little Game

[bitty-bean]

The softest girl you’ve ever seen

[c0dydoesntknow]

Twin activities: ragebait the Hollywood asshole

[derpycatsu]

i like coltland a lot

[antivancorvo]

phm screenshot repaints ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚.⋆