When Reader finished high school she was diagnosed with early stage of ovarian cancer. She put everything on hold to have a baby before it was too late, so she took a sperm donor. Now years later said sperm donor wants to meet his daughter and Reader is against it as she doesnât know him, to her he was only a picture on the paper.- Modern AU
Ivar never thought that days could get any worse. After the accident, he lived every day at a time, and mostly, every day looked the same. There was nothing present to make him smile or to make him feel anything positive. He has been carrying the guilt since the moment his father stopped breathing beside him. He always thought that his days couldnât get any more dreadful and lonesome, only to lose something that he actually never truly had.
Since the day his mother told him that he had to wait, each day got harder. Knowing his mother and her way with people, he actually thought that he would see you again. He didnât expect you to reach for him immediately, but he was hopeful that after at least a week, you would make an agreement with him. There was hope that he would be able to see his daughter; he didnât care if you agreed because of the money, although one part of him would be disappointed, but he wanted both of you in his life. As the days turned into weeks, and as weeks turned into months, the last bits of hope disappeared from his shattering heart. He never had you or your daughter, yet he felt the loss, and he couldnât completely understand why. It couldâve been that his imagination created scenarios of you three being a family, or that he simply liked you, and already having a daughter with you was just a bonus.
After so many months, he almost stumbled after noticing you. He was baffled at your presence and the fact that you seemed distraught. However, his mother told him not to approach you ever again, so he took a deep breath before entering the building. He kept saying to himself that he wonât approach you, still, only five minutes later, he found himself moving towards the buildingâs entrance with his coat already in his hands, ready to put it around you. Yet, when he stepped into coldness, you were no longer there. For a moment, he thought that it was just a figment of his imagination. He forced his feet back inside, but your presence couldnât leave his mind. Through the rest of the day, he was distracted. You and your daughter were the only ones on his mind, so for the first time in years, Ivar left the office before his brothers.
He was trying to stop his feet; he was trying to reassure himself that both of you were alright, as he truly didnât want to push you even farther away. But nothing couldâve forced him to turn around and walk away. Soon, he found himself at the same place where your story started on the wrong foot, mostly because of a series of misunderstandings. Ivar knew that it was stupid to go against what his mother told him, as she was right, but she was also right that he did everything wrong and that he added stress to your life for things you shouldnât worry yourself. He thought that he was ready to start over, to put all of his cards on the table, but nothing could have prepared him for the way you looked. You seemed defeated, if he dared to say, almost broken.
You didnât seem surprised at seeing Ivar at your doorstep. It almost seemed as if you were waiting for him. You didnât greet him or let him speak first before you scoffed at him.
âYou will be happy to hear that my daughter hates me.â
Ivarâs brows furrowed, not understanding what you meant as your daughter was too young to have a real argument with you or to be able to express herself with such emotions.
âOuâŠâ Ivar stopped himself before it was too late. He took a deep breath before starting again. âWhy would your daughter hate you?â
You couldnât stop yourself from rolling your eyes as he was the answer to that question. You opted not to answer before inviting him in. You werenât giving up; that wasnât who you were. However, you wanted to know who you were up against. You decided to be a bad host, not offering him anything to drink, as you didnât even want him in your home.
âWho are you?â you asked with no clarification, which left Ivar rather confused. He wasnât sure how to answer that question, but he decided to try.
âIâm Iva-â
You interrupted after hearing the wrong answer. âI know your name, I know where you work, I know that you have four brothers and one sister. I know everything that a stranger could know about you. Now tell me what they wouldnât be able to know.â
Ivar lowered his head as he wasnât comfortable with expressing who he was. He knew what was at stake, and he actually didnât even feel awkward with you, but he didnât want you to pity him, as you were the first person not to do that. He didnât want to be seen in your eyes as weak; he wanted you to see him as someone who could provide for your family, someone who could support you. But he knew what had to be done.
âI killed my fatherâŠâ Ivar said, shocking you with his bluntness.
âIt was an accident!ââ You were quick to fight him on it as you found articles about it. You were curious about Ivar, and you wanted to be prepared, so you dug up anything you could.
âIâve been sick since I was born. So I wasnât just the youngest, I was also the sick one. Everyone likes to think that things got harder for me after the accident, but they were just as hard before it." He confessed something that never before seen the light of day. His gaze flickered quickly to your form as he realized that his statement could make you concerned. "You donât have to worry about your daughter; there were complications during my motherâs pregnancy. I was a premature baby. There were difficult times, but I got by. I was closest with my mother, but I always felt like, among all of my siblings, that my father respected me the most, not loved, butâŠyeah.â
You felt bad for Ivar, although at the time he had both parents, but you always knew how your mother felt about you and your sister. And although it seemed that there were no worries about genetic disorders or anything from Ivarâs side, you still had to live with the possibility of your daughter having to deal with the same thing as you had, but you were going to take all the precautions.
âWhen you see my brothers, you can immediately tell who was the most popular. I was jealous and stupid and vain. I did things Iâm not proud of, and my father found out. We got into a fight while I was driving. I was still new to it, my reflexes were too slow, and that was why he died. I never saw him so angry and disappointed before.â
âYou canât blame yourself for that,â you stated as a matter of fact. âBut what did you do for your father to feel like that?â
âI kind ofâŠâ Ivar lowered his voice and avoided eye contact. âI slept with my brotherâs girlfriend.â
You raised your eyebrows, not impressed. To you, that kind of behavior is inexcusable.
âThey werenât together together. She messed around with almost all of my brothers. I was stupid, it was a disaster, soâŠbut I still donât know why he reacted like that.â
âI do.â You stated with no hesitation. âYou are looking at it from your perspective; look at it from your fatherâs. There was a woman who was obviously trying to get involved with your family. You were the youngest, and she fooled around with you. I donât think your father was angry at you; he was disappointed that you went through that. I think he was angry that he didnât protect you.â
Ivar took your words to his heart as he still remembered that day. His father wanted to know exactly what happened; he wanted to know what she told him, what she asked from him, but he was oblivious to that back then. He thought that his father was almost mocking him, as his brothers had, they were present when she was making comments about him, yet none of them said anything about it; they only encouraged the behavior that ended with a bad memory.
âOur daughter won't be allowed to date until the day I die.â
Ivarâs eyes were quick to find yours after hearing your words. He couldnât even tell if you realized what you said, but he could barely stop his lips from stretching. There was a small smile present, and he was ready to take that as a small victory.
âWhy are you smiling?â
Ivar just shook his head, urging you to ask him whatever you wanted.
âSo, you were reckless when you were a teenager. What about now?â
Ivar didnât see his mistakes as being reckless; he saw them as plain stupid and irresponsible. âIâve grown since then; I donât trust people easily. I no longer trust my brothers completely. I do work with them; we are as civil as it can be, but the tension is there. I donât follow blindly or play games.â Ivar took a deep breath before continuing, as he was finally going to address what was bothering him the whole time. âWhen I found out that I have a daughter, I was petrified and angry. Firstly, I thought to myself how I didnât take care of all the mistakes that I had made when I was a kid. I didnât want her because I kept thinking about that girl who was pregnant with my brother. I kept thinking to myself, what if now I will be tied to someone like that, or even worse, what if my daughter becomes like her?â
You listened to Ivar, and you honestly didnât think about how he felt in the beginning, as you didnât know him back then. But hearing his worries and struggles, you could understand him more.
âBut then one day, I was walking in the park, and my crutch slipped from my fingers. A little girl ran over and picked it up for me. She smiled brightly and disappeared before I could thank her. Her smile didnât leave me for days. At first I thought about all the negatives, and then that smile, one smile started turning everything into positive.â Ivar was baring his soul to you as he knew that this was indeed his last chance. He decided to be completely honest as he didnât want anything to come back at him in the future. âI hired someone to find everything about you. I wasnât interested in whether you shopped when you were stressed or if you were in a relationship. I wanted to know what kind of person you were, and they couldnât find anything bad, so I approached you, actually, your sister. You two are really similar.â
You moved your hands closer to your torso, feeling uncomfortable with knowing that someone was at some point watching not only you but your daughter as well, and Ivar noticed that.
He was quick to add, âThey never took photos of you or anything, also I never looked at your documents, I ju-â
âI understand, you wanted to know, but what do you want now? I am confused, as it seems that your mother was actually honest.â You stated, still not believing that she put you and your daughter before her own son.
âOf course she was honest, she could see what you meant to me, and she didnât want for my actions to ruin it,â he clarified. âAnd what I want didnât change. I just want to be in her life. There is no catch; I want to support you in any way you will allow me. I will sign anything, I will adapt to your schedule, and everything will be on your terms, because if it wasnât for you, she wouldnât have been born.â Ivar stood up as he didnât want to overstay his welcome; he was well aware that his daughter was so close, but still, he didnât even ask to see her. âI will leave now, and you should drink some hot tea. I donât want you to get sick again just because of me. You can call me any time after you decide on what you want to do, but please, whatever you choose, let me know because the wait was killing me every day, piece by piece,â he said before pulling out his business card;Â his personal number was already written on it in ink. âI hope Iâll see you soon.â
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