“God can turn messy things into a beautiful one.”. This is just one of the many statements that has affected me so much. First, because it is in very simple words. And more, because it somehow understands my situation as a young adult and yet it’s able to change it into something challenging and inspirational. I have to admit that being young is associated with a lot of mess. I am uncertain of so many things. I am tentative in my decisions. I can be hasty in my decisions. I am a mess, even a total wreck too often. With all the deadlines to meet. With so many activities I have to attend. Not to mention the concerns in my family, friends, etc. I am a mess. And yet it uses my situation to tell me that I am not hopeless.
My miserable life can be transformed into a meaningful life. This is what faith can do. This is what Jesus can do to me. I believe that faith is an encounter with Jesus as a friend and as a companion along the way. It is to know Him in a deep and personal kind of way. That I have a friend in Jesus. And I know He will never abandon me or backstab me as so many of my friends have done to me. In Jesus, I found my best friend forever, my best “boyfriend” ever. I am using forever and ever because this is how we often finish our prayers. Indeed in Jesus, there is a forever and ever. His love is eternal. His fidelity is without end. I am so blessed to have found in Him a friend and a lover who is always faithful and true.
But my friendship with Jesus is not good all the time. I am aware of my weaknesses and shortcomings. My relationship with Him is not always sunny and bright. There are dark moments, confusing moments, desperate moments. I drift away from Him. I sin and conveniently forget about our “secret pacts and promises”. Being young and restless sometimes, I find my heart getting distracted by my problems, my mind unable to focus in prayer. Instead of consulting Him and drawing my strength from Him, I trust in my abilities more and the counsel of my so-called “best friends”. Jesus takes the back seat and I drive the wheel of my life. He’s not even in the passenger seat. I put Him where He does not belong, at the compartment. I take Him out only when I need Him. Like a spare tire, He’s needed, only when he’s needed. But when I am cruising, when everything is okay and fine, when the ride is smooth and flowing, there is no need for Him. How unfair and selfish I can be - so many times. But I am just amazed how patient He is with me. How tender His heart is and how loving and forgiving He can be. It is embarrassing, I know. How I can face Him still with my sinfulness and all. There are so many things that I still have to learn from Him. But He assures me that He’s willing to take and accept even my mess. That’s how much He loves me.
Perhaps, I will never be a perfect friend for Jesus. I can never measure up to His expectations. But His unconditional love gives me hope. That in time I shall make it and “finish the race” with Him. As long as I keep the faith and “run the race”, I know He’s always my buddy. He will lift me up and encourage me. He will stay with me even if everybody else have left me. I can only be grateful. He has blessed me so much – in spite of everything. The more I grow in my relationship with Him, the more I realize how unworthy I am of His love. But to find a friend in Him, that has made the difference in my life so far. I admit that I am still struggling in my relationship with Him but I do know the difference when I am near or far away from Him. My life is “messy” if I am away. My life is “easy” when He’s near. Indeed, my burdens become light because He’s with me. My crosses become so heavy because I don’t allow Him to help me.
Youth spirituality is not easy to define or to identify. It is always in a state of change that the moment I put a finger on it, it is no longer there. It is constantly flowing and changing. Like my moods and emotional outbursts, it is quite a struggle. At one moment I can be so fired up; at another I can be cold and detached as ice. The adults sometimes do not understand how we young people relate and connect with God. They think that we have become irreligious and atheists who have lost our way. They don’t understand that we are as committed as they are in our faith. We may just be different in our expressions and ways. But the heart and the desire to know God and to follow God are there. I hope and pray that as I walk along the path of life, I begin to discover more and more that we are all in this wonderful journey of walking back to our Father’s home, our true home.
Let me end this with 1 Timothy 4:12
Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.