Self-Destructive Tendencies @cigarettesadbois - Tumblr Blog

Self fulfilling prophecy when someone tells you "no one will love you as much as me" and then proceed to fuck you up in ways no human person would ever tolerate

#child abuse #childhood trauma #ptsd #cptsd #bpd #actually bpd

jackietaylorsghost

YELLOWJACKETS 310. Full Circle

#yellowjackets #lottie speaking facts tho #she was trying to help

Starting to think maybe my life feeling unmanageable and my insurance company discontinuing coverage for my adhd meds happening withing months of each other wasnt a coincidence

This month is gonna fucking suck 💪

#parent loss #grief #dealing with grief #depression #ptsd #cptsd

withinvenn

If we behaved like animals my mother would of ate me as soon as I took my first wretched breath

vile-images

Someday I'm either gonna kill myself or publish a book and I'm kinda excited to find out which one.

#suicidal ideation #pull a ned vizini and do both honestly #mental illness

roostercrowned

fantasy book from 1995 you have the most familiar description of suicidal ideation I've ever read

adustoflove

I think dying would fix me immediately

yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

I'm proud of you for making it this far.

it-appears-that-bruno-has-deact

I want to kill myself which isn't unusual but damn I feel like shit

#i wanted to kms since i was 8.#literally as long as i can remember #its just the longer i go without doing it the more of a failure i feel like

Ive literally been barely scraping by and trying not to kill myself for as long as I can remember and I'm tired af.

#like i remember being like 4 and just sick of life #some people arent made for living i guess #whats the point in doing anything to fix the damage ive already done when im probably just gonna kms #its all ive ever wanted

Just got 2 teeth pulled, had to wait outside in 80 degree heat for an hour after to go home and then when i got there i got yelled at by my husband for "not acting like an adult" about it.

#like i did something that was scary for me and i had been neglecting due to trauma and nobody cares #i got yelled at #why take care of myself if im just gonna want to kill myself?#like im trying to act like an adult #im trying to get my medical shit in line and do chores more and fucking write a book so i might actually have work i can do #and i get told its not good enough #bc im not crying myself to sleep every night from pain and exhaustion after working a 12hr shift

Yesterday was the first time in a long time hanging out with a new friend. In 13 years this is the 3rd time introducing him to a friend. It is the 3rd time a friend has expressed concern over the way he speaks to me. The 3rd time someone told me i deserved kindness. The millionth time someones asked "is he just like this?". I was embarrassed to be associated with him. How many more embarrassments can i endure?

Literally nobody gives a shit about me the way other people do about their friends/family/partners.

honeypleasejustkillme

who else mourning the person they could've been if they were treated kindly as a child

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Self-Destructive Tendencies