ALMIGHTY.

private, low activity, highly selective HEATHER CHANDLER. musical based. penned by wild, est. 4/1/18. mun is 18+

[cinabow]

“Crazy how dead you are, I mean like, wow.”

game grumps starters / @ruthlessblue

          By all means, Heather was a personification of all things hot. Expensive clothes, insurmountable beauty, hair, popularity, temper, hellfire. Yet the voice that left her was cold, chilling. Like ice. Like death.

          “You seem to be enjoying this, Veronica.” Her eyes were narrowed, as if she could kill with a single gaze. Certainly she wanted to. “Draino, hm? An unusual choice of poison. So blue, like your croquet mallet. Almost as if you wanted to mark this as your doing. I’m going to be dribbling this all over my chin for eternity, thanks to you. I’ll look like some drooling kindergartener, like Martha Dumptruck on the playing field!”

[ranpoint]

thewiddlestwampire:

your url but  you change it with the following criterion:

every “i” is replaced by “iii” 

every “e” is replaced by “c” 

every “o” & “a” is replaced by “x”

add “isms” to the end of it

[rubyheist]

so like. im getting my wisdom teeth out in like an hour so if i appear on the dash a lil later and im kinda loopy, that’s probably why

[cinabow]

hey yo westerburg i am currently FREAKING OUT rn and i need a distraction so who wants to hear the story of why i decided to pick up this muse?

cw for needles/medical stuff under the cut!

so the night before i made this blog i had a dream where i was heather c//handler and i was getting my wisdom teeth out. i was on the dentist chair and they put the iv in my arm to administer the anesthesia. except as soon as they did that, i stood up and was like ‘fuck this shit, im gonna go to comicon’

so i hauled ass over to comicon, just walked right tf outta the dentist, IV STILL IN MY ARM PUMPING ANESTHESIA INTO MY SYSTEM, and the whole time i was fighting to stay awake

KEEP IN MIND THAT I WAS HEATHER GODDAMN C//HANDLER THE WHOLE TIME

that just makes it ten times funnier imo, like imagine heather doing this. such determination

so i arrive at comicon, and it’s actually really cool over there. i see both ppl i know from irl as well as fictional characters (most notable was h//erb o//verkill from m//inions dressed in a star trek uniform). the booths themselves were cool too, there was this one guy selling ACTUAL harry potter potions that actually worked and that’s all i remember about the setting

but i was really looking for heathers cosplayers, and eventually i found a trio of ppl i knew in high school dressed as the heathers (sorta looking more like closet cosplay) singing candy store. i, being Actual Heather C//handler, just had to join in.

I STILL HAD THE IV IN MY ARM BTW AND I WAS STILL FIGHTING OFF THE ANESTHESIA

so we were singing, right? and when the trio got to the “end up like her!” part they all pointed at me and did the hip choreography. i raised my hand and said “i had to get surgery because i drank draino and then i ditched my surgery don’t do drugs kids”

and about that time i woke up, and my first thought was ‘this was a sign from the universe. i gotta make a heather blog.’

[jakegyllenhaal]

[cinabow]

          making one of these because these tend to give me less stress than basic starter calls! mutuals, feel free to give this a like if you give me permission to:

tag you in random starters whenever i feel like it

bombard your inbox with memes

send you random ic asks, whether serious or crack

look hot, buy stuff you cannot

high kick into your ims in order to plot something, or talk about possible relationships, headcanons, etc

maybe make art/graphics of our muses?

be friends YAY

         and that’s basically it. unless i think of something else? but anyway, here it is!

[cinabow]

          making one of these because these tend to give me less stress than basic starter calls! mutuals, feel free to give this a like if you give me permission to:

tag you in random starters whenever i feel like it

bombard your inbox with memes

send you random ic asks, whether serious or crack

look hot, buy stuff you cannot

high kick into your ims in order to plot something, or talk about possible relationships, headcanons, etc

maybe make art/graphics of our muses?

be friends YAY

         and that’s basically it. unless i think of something else? but anyway, here it is!

[cinabow]

          making one of these because these tend to give me less stress than basic starter calls! mutuals, feel free to give this a like if you give me permission to:

tag you in random starters whenever i feel like it

bombard your inbox with memes

send you random ic asks, whether serious or crack

look hot, buy stuff you cannot

high kick into your ims in order to plot something, or talk about possible relationships, headcanons, etc

maybe make art/graphics of our muses?

be friends YAY

         and that’s basically it. unless i think of something else? but anyway, here it is!

[babyanimalgifs]

Don’t worry hooman, I am here for you! ❤️

[cinabow]

i’ve had this blog for one (1) week and 50 followers already?

heather c vc: holy crap! this is awesome!!

[cinabow]

reasons i can only write 200 words a day at most

me: so this side character is a high school athlete, how should we describe them

also me: well, what part of town is this school in, how's its funding

me: what

me again: well, is their uniform in good condition, do they wear brand-name running shoes

me: no i just want to write a single sentence about them and move on

me the 3rd: NO YOU'RE GOING TO SIT DOWN AND WORLDBUILD THE PROPERTY VALUE OF THIS SCHOOL DISTRICT YOUNG LADY, AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO COMPARISON-SHOP JERSEYS, AND THEN YOU'RE GOING TO DECIDE WHETHER THEY TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEIR POSSESSIONS

me: and how am i going to determine that

me in my final form: YOU'RE GOING TO DETERMINE THE SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS OF THEIR HOUSEHOLD AND EXTRAPOLATE HOW THEY WERE RAISED, OBVIOUSLY - CLEARLY THIS SIDE CHARACTER IS FROM AN IMMIGRANT BACKGROUND AND THEIR NAMES WERE CHANGED AT ELLIS ISLAND THUS CUTTING OFF THEIR GENEALOGY AND REMOVING ALL CHANCE OF CONTACT WITH THEIR POLISH COUSINS

final text: [entire paragraph is revised in such a way that the side character isn't even necessary to set the scene anymore]

side character: what the FUCK RIVER

[pughflor]

anniesscreams asked: heather chandler or heather duke?

fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[cinabow]

guess who finally watched the heathers film??

it was really great; i loved it! my chandler will still remain musical/headcanon based, but i very much enjoyed watching the movie. i love the colors, the lighting, the sets--it was all so very!

[rubyheist]

sorry i didnt really get anything done here today; i got food poisoning earlier

[cinabow]

;; hp au

          The castle was abuzz when it came time for the Chandlers, an ancient wizarding family, to send their only daughter to Hogwarts. It didn’t take long for Heather Chandler to establish herself as a magical, mythic bitch, and her reputation only grew from there. She’s careful in the friends she keeps, and even more careful in the spells she learns--after all, she’s gotta have some power to back up her fierce reputation.

Heather was very nearly a Hatstall. The Sorting Hat saw both the boldness of Gryffindor and the ambition of Slytherin shining strongly within, and for many minutes couldn’t decide where to place her. Eventually, red won out over green, and Heather would flounce over to Gryffindor table with her chin held high and a red scrunchie in her hair.

Her wand is aspen wood with a phoenix feather core. She’s adept at hexes, curses, and jinxes, her best class being Charms.

Her worst class is Divination. She took it because she thought it’d be easy. Turns out Heather is not much of a Seer.

She brought her cat, a lilac-point Siamese named Valentina, to the castle with her instead of an owl.

She’s perfectly alright at flying, but has no interest in playing Quidditch.

At Hogsmeade, easily her favorite shop is Honeydukes. She loves all sorts of Wizarding candy...but how come every time she buys a box of Every Flavor Beams there’s at least one that’s bright blue and tastes like some sort of odd soap?

Her Patronus is so far unknown. Same with her Boggart

[cinabow]

WHAT TAROT CARD ARE YOU?

You got: The Emperor

You love to be in charge. Yes, you can be a bit bossy, but you have an admirable ability to stand your ground and command a room. You might seem a bit closed off because of your tough exterior, but once you let people in you’re very dependable.

tagged by: stole from @ruthlessblue tagging: anyone who wants to!

[pictorch-art]

cute lil heathers gals sleepover bc they’re all qts