Cityfaringcountrymouse

He/him

[cityfaringcountrymouse]

If I've ever been on topic in my life, I'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression.

#this is maverick - Maverick photos and stories

#townMouse - new house discussion and decorating

#you can ignore this - poetry

[annabelle--cane]

there came a moment in my youth when I was preparing to #lie to someone and was stressing out about them not believing it and getting mad at me because I knew I was going to look shifty the whole time, but then it occurred to me that I knew all my tells because they were things that momentarily made my anxiety go down (turning my body away from them a little, looking at the floor, using excessive filler words, over-explaining, etc.), and since I could feel what they all were I could just. not do them. and suddenly it felt like I had stopped existing as a single unified being with my feelings and body inherently interconnected and instead was able to use my body like a very sophisticated tool that responds to precise instructions and only does what I actively tell it to. which made me very good at lying and garnered me a few student acting awards, but also led to some other problems of various natures further down the line. alas.

[annabelle--cane]

a side effect of this is that every so often, when someone around me is upset to the point of tears and I'm trying to help them, I'll get a sudden violent pang of envy that they're even capable of doing that at all. they don't have to go through the endless drop down menus of "am I feeling something?" -> "what am I feeling?" -> "how would I express it?" -> "would now be the right time and place to express it?" -> "now? do I do it now? right here right now? what happens if 'the person who never cries' bursts into tears?", it just happens for them all at once, no middlemen. expressing a real emotion often feels exactly the same as lying because I have to put exactly the same amount of active effort into both of them, and sometimes all the little choices that go into Looking Upset make it feel like a whole production, like an artificial performance, so I mostly never do it. which, though I would never let this come out of my mouth because I'm aware that it's wildly unfair, also sometimes turns up in my most uncharitable thoughts when other people are upset. a little "cmon mate, this is a bit much," at the back of my head. "I don't ever do this, so why don't you put in the same effort?"

[teaboot]

hi teaboot. anon with four siblings who moved out here. i am...the lowest ive ever been. i thought it was suppose to get better now? but im shing and so apathetic to everything. my siblings were fine, my parents pulled it together when I threatened them with police. but. i don't understand why its *now* im depressed

Not a word of a lie, this happened to me too! And I promise I am not bullshitting you when I say that this is normal and expected and EXTREMELY common.

The thing is, you've been in Survival Mode for a while. Probably a long time. And now your itty bitty lizard brain- the part that's been been clocking in overtime hours to sense and predict danger and mitigate crisis scenarios and plan escape routes and secure resources and so on- is no longer single-handedly keeping everything running by itself.

That bit of your brain has been working non-freaking-stop every waking minute for however long you've been in whatever clusterfuck you got out of, and it is now miraculously on its first ever vacation.

It's burnt out. It's exhausted. And now that it isn't running the show, the rest of your brain is scrambling to figure out how to make things work.

You're not in active danger anymore, so lizard-brain CAN take a rest without everything burning down, but... what now?

Emotional Brain has been helping carry Lizard Brain's load, but now it has a shitload of paperwork to catch up on. Like, YEARS of mismanaged backlog that it's just been jamming out of order into filing cabinets and spare storage boxes to deal with later.

Desires Brain has been keeping up with "food" and "don't die", but.... it HAS those now. So... what else could it possibly want? Everything? Nothing? What even IS desirable beyond survival? Goals Brain needs an answer before it can generate motivation. Fear Brain, too. Also Action Brain, and Motivation Brain.

So you're not being piloted by Lizard Brain anymore. That's good! "Keep Human Functioning Constantly Forever" was NOT in Lizard Brain's job description. But now that it's let go of the reins, the rest of Team Brain is going to need some time to figure out how to do their actual jobs the way they're supposed to, and they are WAY behind.

So my best advice is to let them adjust. Rest. Keep things simple. Help them out by establishing a regular routine- home life, work life, regular meals, regular showers, regular sleep.

Once that routine is established, you can ease of the training wheels by trying new things, new foods, new places, new people.

Help Desires Brain by experimenting, figuring out what makes you happier and what doesn't. What kind of fabrics you like, what kind of tastes you enjoy, what kind of work is pleasant and what is merely tolerable. How you enjoy being treated and what boundaries you'd prefer to maintain.

Help Emotions Brain by taking your time with strong feelings as they happen. Pause, consider how you feel, where those feelings live in your body, what physical sensations come with them. When those sensations appear, do they correspond to feelings? When? Why? Are they rational? How do you want to handle them?

Develop goals and plans from these findings. Once "tomorrow" or "next week" aren't an incomprehensible void, let yourself imagine a "next month", a "next season", a "next year".

Make stuff for fun. Save up to buy things that improve your daily life. Decide what kind of places you like to visit and when. What relaxation looks like, what self-care looks like, what a good friend or partner or coworker is.

You probably feel pretty shitty right now. You're probably going to be detached, or numb, or low, or even depressed, panicked, scared, or empty.

But eventually- once Team Brain starts to get a handle on things- the Empty and Dead will be less. New stuff will appear, like Angry and Sad and Joyous.

You're gonna Want things again, and be Excited again, and Look Forwards To things again.

It's gonna take time, though, and work, and it's definitely gonna suck sometimes, especially on days where it seems like you've gone backwards, or like you haven't moved at all.

It's not forever, though. It may SEEM like it, or like nothing else is even possible, but it isn't. I've got no damn reason to lie about that. I've been there, too.

It sucks right now. Might suck tomorrow, too. But eventually it won't. You're going to be happy, and safe, and you're going to enjoy your life and feel all kinds of love and joy and wonder again.

You're going to be okay.

It sucks right now. But you're going to be okay

[teaboot]

This time I'm really gonna fucking do it*

*clean out the oldass canned shit that's been sitting in the pantry for literal years because sometimes there really isn't any food and so throwing anything out that's still unopened is basically the eighth deadly biblical sin but honest hand to god that shit is never getting eaten

[teaboot]

Ruh-Roh Raggy

[teaboot]

Hey. Hey not to make a jokepost deep but some of this shit was in my go-bag from before I moved out of my parent's house.

I first packed it up in ziplock freezer bags along with matches and a tarp n other junk in case shit went south and I needed to lay low in the woods a couple days.

And now I'm an adult, living in my own apartment, paying my own rent with my own career in a job I enjoy, with my own towels and plates and shampoo I bought because I like the smell.

Shit gets good out here

[teaboot]

SWEET CHRIST I FUCKED UP

[teaboot]

I WAS DOUNG A DEEP CLEAM OF MY KITCHEG

I FOUND A FRUIT JUICEER IN BRAND FUCKING NEW CONDOTIOJN FRO A PREVIOYS TENANT

Thought "Oh wicked I'll make soup"

NEVER USED ONE BEFORE

ONION JUIVE IN MY EYES

ONION JUICS SVERYWHERE

[teaboot]

I TWARGASSED MYSELF ADN MY BOY

[inkskinned]

sometimes when they ask you how did you know you were gay, there's a long list of ways that the truth presented itself. this makes it feel like there's a beginning and an end, some kind of dawn that burned into you. as if you walked through the door and were a changed person, a split that happened where once you were straight.

when you were six or maybe seven, you realized the game of pretend you'd been playing would resolve in two princesses kissing. you had a strange and distorted sensation then, something akin to panic, as if you'd been caught doing something terrible. you forced a response to the idea: i am not supposed to do that yet, and shivered the thought into the abyss. in your house, did you even really know the term queer? somehow you already knew it wasn't right of you. it was something for adults, the way that kissing boys wasn't. kissing boys was acceptable, even cute.

in the books you read - and you read so many of them, were particularly fond of ones with dragons or cats or wolves in them - sometimes you'd be taken aback by certain instances of "romance." all of a sudden, the girl and the boy would end up together, and it was almost as if you'd somehow missed a chapter. in one book, the girl had been bullied by this boy, had to cut off her precious hair (that he stuck gum into!), had professed repeatedly to hating him - and still, the two of them were together in the last few pages. you'd flipped back and forth a few times, scanning for something you'd just missed, some reason that was evidently subvocal or understood. for a long time you avoided realistic fiction after that, annoyed by plots that resolved with but then he realized he loved her.

this was not an outlier, but a commonality. this of course was the 90's and the early aughts. women would roll their eyes and stay with their cheating partner. often two people would wind up together that you felt had no purpose to love each other. you watched the female main character disappoint the female best friend - over and over - just for the sake of a boy that wasn't even interesting. you learned that sisterhood was maybe fickle and fragile - that the desire for a boy should conquer all. you couldn't help that it all felt - even then - somehow distant and somewhat wrong.

a long time from now, tracing patterns on the tattooed leg of a beautiful woman, you'll both be talking about how neither of you really understood why everyone was obsessed with justin beiber. so that was a sign, you both laugh. you'd both feigned interest in some boyband or another. coming out was a long process for both of you: both the slow realization as well as the eternal again-and-again cycle of admitting it eventually to friends and family and the workforce. both of you have been asked - when did you know?

technically you didn't "know" until you were 28. these days, though - looking back at the little girl you were - you think to yourself i was trying to tell myself something and i couldn't listen. this breaks your heart a lot of the time, but some part of that is actually very warm to you - you carried your past self all this way. she always knew. you got her here so she could see the comfort of the morning you're in bed with a beautiful girl. so that you could know, too. you, antlered and stable now - you saved that timid, shaking foal.

how beautiful to think some part of you has always been like this. that you've always been whole.

[grasslandscolorado]

We live in a system that makes money off of your misery and ambivalence. It relies on people thinking that they are inherently bad for the planet and that the world is ending so why change? Why try? --This is untrue! We belong here, on this one beautiful green earth and we have to work together to protect it. You have the power to do more than you know. You have a role to play in your ecosystem!

[raccoonmilf]

The notion that humans are an invasive species is an ecofascist belief. We evolved just like every other animal, we are meant to be here just like they are. This is our home and we have a duty to care for it and change the environment for the better!

Every single person has the power to make a meaningful impact on the planet. I had the most fireflies in my town this summer simply because I have a large area where the grass is never cut.

Please do not give up because you think the planet is too far gone and it’s hopeless. It isn’t. Please fight.

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[cityfaringcountrymouse]

I HAVE A WRINKLE!!!

I just noticed today that I have a facial wrinkle. Corner of my mouth, where I've been doing my little half smile since about age 5.

Achievement unlocked: first wrinkle.

[firebirdeternal]

"I have never seen a cat that showed affection/love for it's owner" is the pet ownership version of "I don't believe in Female Orgasms they don't exist, after all, my wife has never had one"

[connie-dobbs]

A m*n (uck) who demands refuses to believe in the Female Orgasam has ABANDON his slackley duties.

-Mrs. CONNIE DOBBS

[hope-for-the-planet]

70% Drop in Levels of Forever Chemicals Observed in Seabird Eggs Tracks Regulatory Success

These pescatarian birds are directly exposed to PFAS contamination due to the island's position near the St. Lawrence Seaway.

Over fifty years of data show a peak in PFAS (also known as "forever chemicals") content in seabird eggs in the 90s, followed by a decrease as regulations went into effect. The most recent findings show a 70% decrease of most common PFAS.

While continued vigilance a regulation is needed, this data indicates that regulations are working to reduce PFAS concentrations in marine ecosystems.

[sattarehi]

Yes!!!! I did a review of literature on PFASs in human drinking water about half a year ago, and there is a lot of really good progress! Please celebrate this, please don't let this solution be forgotten (at least so quickly) as the ozone layer or acid rain.

We are making genuine progress! Producers are dramatically altering how much they use PFAS and how much gets released in effluent, but also there's a lot better understanding of how to remove PFAS from the environment!

Environmental problems CAN BE SOLVED.

[wholesomepostarchive]

8/11/2026

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Biggest fuck-up ever is that people have to pay to become doctors

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

Like unironically we should be subsidising at least 50% of their educations. What do you mean we have a shortage of doctors we should have surplus. What do you mean they’re being overworked they should be treated like royalty, they can fix human bodies

[howmanyholesinswisscheese]

I don’t care if some of them are only doing it for the money. I don’t care if all of them are only doing it for the money. Intentions don’t matter to the stitches in my nana’s leg or the ten billion other lifesaving treatments we all get at a detriment to their finances and mental wellbeing. Entire cities are kept alive by just a couple thousand of them what are we DOINGGGGG

[naamahdarling]

If we had more, maybe it would be easier to get the shitty ones fucking replaced. The board isn't going to do much to the only endocrinologist in the state who takes Medicaid, you know? But if there were more than, idk, maybe 5? Maybe then?

[landunderthewave]

More importantly if you needed less money and less physical stamina to become a doctor, people with less money and less physical stamina could become doctors, which would increase diversity and improve patient care.

[animentality]

[sentimentalslut]

man the public defender discourse pisses me off so bad. yeah. yeah I do think that every single person deserves representation. yeah that includes people who *have* committed rape and murder and abuse. when I say every single person I mean every single person. if your idea of justice excludes one person it excludes everyone. next question

[sentimentalslut]

“so you’re saying you’d represent someone who has admitted to sexual assault?” i’m saying I have.

“so you’re saying you’d represent someone who has admitted to domestic violence?” i’m saying i have.

"so you’re saying you’d represent someone who has admitted to child abuse?" i'm saying i have.

and i am saying i have given each and every one of those clients the same level of professionalism, effort, and zealous advocacy i have given my clients who are victims of the same. that is how due process works, and every person is guaranteed it.

i have nothing but respect and admiration for my colleagues in the public interest sector who represent those who have committed and/or been accused any and all crimes, no matter how "morally reprehensible" others may find them.

public defenders are among the best, brightest, and most selfless attorneys out there. they are on the front lines of combating the carceral state and protecting the rights of every day people. get it straight in your heads. thanks.

[brainscrems]

Being a public defender is one of the most essential and under-recognized jobs someone can do to help maintain our democracy. Fuck absolutely anyone and everyone who goes after them. If you’re against public defenders you are fighting for fascism. There’s nothing more to say on the matter.

[ravynfyre]

even "bad guys" deserve rights. yes, even *those* "bad guys", because when you decide that some people don't deserve rights, then you throw the door wide open to be declared one of the types of people who don't deserve rights. *our* freedoms require that we *also* protect the people we don't like.

who do you think it is that provides those rights to the "bad guys", hm?

[excusethequality]

While watching a DVD from the library my TV popped up a message saying to press a button if I wanted to watch this from additional providers.

It's never done that before so I looked it up and turns out Roku TVs have added all sorts of creepy things in the privacy section since I last checked.

One of which being they take screenshots from what you're watching and send them to third parties to identify it.

Fucking hell! Remember when every fucking device in your life wasn't a spy implanted in your home and working against your interests to try and sell your data? Remember how nice that was??

Remember when the TV was just a tool that would play the things you plugged into it?

Why must the future suck SO much?

[excusethequality]

How to Turn Off Smart TV Snooping Features - Consumer Reports

TVs collect a huge amount of data. Here's how to use privacy settings to limit the surveillance on TVs from LG, Samsung, TCL, and every othe

A good rundown on what each brand of TV is up to and which settings you should turn off.

[anarchistmemedistro]

[lytefoot]

PSA - Do not buy an LG smart TV. They just added a line to their terms of use that it's the user's responsibility to inform any guests in their house that by entering they consent to be recorded, in order to comply with wiretapping laws. That thing is literally recording you.

You can find tutorials online telling you how to open that thing up and physically remove the mic and wifi module. Frankly I don't trust anything less.

[mookimooks]

Please watch the Gamers Nexus video on LG Smart TV's and monitors! It's basically malware at this point.

[stealingpotatoes]

LAPTOP DEATH FILE PURGATORY IS OVER I HAVE MY CRAP BACK

[stealingpotatoes]

however i do think i scared the repair ppl by materialising at their door in 3 seconds

[unstablecryptid]

idk how many more "higher temperature is expected today"s i got left in me