Stories Can’t Hurt Us

She/her | Whovian | Ineffable Husbands | Aziraphale--Crowley—Geralt-coded | Critical Swiftie | Asexual Autistic Doctor Truther | Autistic Aziraphale Truther | David Tennant Derangement Syndrome | Good Omens | Dragon Age

[clairedelune-13]

Yen: Geralt, I need your help with something.

Me and Geralt:

[clairedelune-13]

I genuinely don’t understand people who choose Triss over Yen, because she’s “nice”.

She’s not nice.

You know The Nice Guy trope?

Well, Triss falls into the “Girl Next Door” category, which is ultimately a trap.

I’ve literally met women like her in real life and they are fucking cunts.

They cannot be trusted.

Literally one of the worst people in the world.



[clairedelune-13]

I’m sorry, but what the fuck does em-dash have to do with AI?

Are you telling me that if a writer uses it in their fic, it’s immediately going to be assumed that they use AI?

What a load of horse shit.

How else are people supposed to add an aside in their paragraph before getting back to the topic?

It’s what an ( -– ) is for, dammit. 

Give me a fucking break.

[clairedelune-13]

My most petty grievance for DATV are those damn candles that Emmrich has you light for his vigil thingy in the Memorial Gardens.

It gave me flashbacks to Witcher 3, and the annoying candle placements all over the game.

Fuck you, Volkarin, you have magic. Light the fucking candles yourself, you lazy bastard. It’s giving me PTSD flashbacks.

[clairedelune-13]

The most depressing part about DATV is that the companions, on paper, are quite interesting.

Emmrich gets all the attention, but I really love the concept behind Davrin.

Here we have a Dalish elf who left his clan to join the Grey Wardens.

…

That right there, is interesting as fuck.

He’s actually more like Merrill than Bellara, to be honest because he’s a genuinely interesting dude.

Bellara? I wish I could throw her into a lake with rocks tied to her feet, she pisses me off so much.

Or maybe I’m biased because I hate her writer. (Epler)

Maybe she could’ve fared better if written by someone competent and not a Solas Hater.

But Davrin had so much more to him than met the eye.

But I guess the fucking griffon was more important because the writers decided to make that 90% of this man‘s personality and make every conversation you have with him monotonous and tedious as hell.

Talk about a fucking waste.

Like, no, I don’t wanna hear about the fucking gingerwort truffles, dammit.

Please, expound on your relationship with Eldrin, who is essentially your Vesemir. Please elaborate on this monster hunting business of yours, Warden.

And Lucanis….

Luc, baby boy, what did they do to you?

The writers deserve an eternity in the deepest purgatory for how badly they butchered you.

Don’t worry, I re-shaped you into the potential you deserve in my own fics, alongside your tortured mess of a cousin.

But dammit, how the game handled your complexity is just… not OK.

The fucked up circumstances with which he and Illario were raised, the dynamic between the two men who are more like brothers…

None of that was explored. Except for some ambient dialogue that is only there if you do his shopping quest after recruiting all the companions, which can easily be missed. And the game isn’t fucking clear that that is even a thing that could be done. 

It’s so upsetting.

Like, what the actual fuck?

Harding?

Who the hell is this woman?

I don’t know her.

It certainly is not the same Lace Harding I would unashamedly flirt with when unlocking each new area, which would garner me approval points from Sera for some reason 🤣

Remember her?

Where is she? I miss her so much.

[clairedelune-13]

Me, whenever a codex entry pops up in the game:

[clairedelune-13]

Rediscovering that you can actually increase the font size of the dialogue wheel in W3, increases my love of the game.

Man, I have so much respect for CDPR for making these tiny adjustments. Makes people with visual impairments able to play their game more easily.

[clairedelune-13]

I can’t understand how some people can say veilguard is their “favorite” game in the entire series of three other much better games.

I remember when I absolutely loved Fable 3 when I first beat it, because it was literally the first game I ever completed on my own without help.

I literally had nothing else to compare to.

Since then, I’ve played Fable 2, which was leagues better.

Inquisition. Which introduced me to the world of Thedas.

Then, through sheer happenstance, I was able to play DA2, with mods, and I absolutely loved it to the point where I played it so much I burned out forever.

Witcher 3 changed my life, and it still remains my absolute favorite game and my sole special interest. So much so, that when people tell me about certain things that I already know, I get irritated.

But Veilguard as an absolute favorite?

Either these people have nothing to compare to or their judgment really is off.

[clairedelune-13]

I don’t understand people who feel nostalgic for their first playthrough of a game.

Why?

All of my first playthroughs are absolute dog shit.

Cuz I had no idea what I was doing.

I mean, I still don’t, to be sure.

But at least upon replays, I’m failing with the choices I know I like to make. 🤣

[clairedelune-13]

Geralt, to merchant, who is sad about a dead son: I’m terribly sorry for your loss.

Also Geralt: Gwent?

[clairedelune-13]

That tower that teleported itself from Kovir to Skellige…

- Smaller on the outside (Bigger on the inside)

- Teleports from one location to the next

- Has wonky defenses, almost as if the thing itself was sentient

This thing is a TARDIS.

Doctor Who reference confirmed in Witcher 3.

[clairedelune-13]

Me, when using the Inquisition mounts for standard travel:

Me, when utilizing the mounts to climb sheer rock faces:

[clairedelune-13]

If Weekes is so averse to conflict, man, they would hate so many games, shows and movies.

How the fuck do they enjoy any sort of media?

That’s sad.

[thememedaddy]

[clairedelune-13]

It’s funny, because I think the “Veilguard” being a last-minute name change is the only positive thing it has going for it.

Because can you imagine how many times that word would’ve been thrown around had it been implemented earlier in production?

The term “Veilguard” would’ve been even more tedious than “Elgar’nan and Ghilan’nain”.

[clairedelune-13]

Me: This is impossible to answer but…

🥚

[clairedelune-13]

Now, with the recent changes to my eyesight, I have now taken to rejecting every opportunity to race in the Witcher 3.

I just wish there was an opportunity to reject every single goddamn race, because that shit is a legally blind person‘s nightmare. (Looking at you Forced Race w/Baron)

So, terribly sorry, Cerys but you and your fucking footrace can go to hell.