This dragon hoards ships

...and there are enough for an armada. Enter at your own risk. Also, owls. This dragon also hoards owls. She/Her/Hers.

[claraowl]

If anyone is interested in supporting my writing, I made a ko-fi!  ko-fi.com/claraowl :)

[herowyn]

5 0    Y E A R S    A G O

[closetocanada]

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

[butterflypeaflowertea]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was doomed to take things too seriously and think about them forever

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[morhath]

I hate when king arthur has all these fussy little steps in the instructions and you're like "no way do these fussy little steps matter" but you try it and they do. they matter so much.

[bookaddict7342]

I thought you meant Camelot quests and I was like "that's fair, 'never pick a four leaf clover on the last Wednesday of the month' IS a fussy little step that shouldn't matter" but then I was like "wait isn't that also a flour company"

[morhath]

nooo I am not a beleaguered knight of the round table I am making elaborate focaccia 😭

[copperbadge]

"I hate when King Arthur has all these fussy little steps" -- Camelot cleaning staff, probably

[strange-aeons]

during pride month??????

[strange-aeons]

Great news: after being banned from Night Power Tools, my wife has taken up whittling and is making me a spoon

[empiressmp]

So do you think the small town girl living in a lonely world ever tried gay stuff with the uptown girl living in her uptown world

[digitalmyyth]

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

[nat-20s]

just thought of a fun new comics OC named Stella the Postal Worker. She is a completely normal human woman who just happens to do insane things on the regular in order to get superheros their mail. She broke into the fortress of solitude to make sure superman knew he had jury duty but now she has a key 💖

[nat-20s]

stella rides with Impulse to tell flash to just pay the 20 bucks he owes to the library. Stella has a grappling hook so she can shove off a bag of fan/hate mail to batman and when he's like. dare I ask how much of it is...explicit she's like. dude I don't read your mail, man. that's your job. While they're both suspended 1000 feet over Gotham

[nat-20s]

she does not know any of their secret identities she is determined to get mail specifically assigned to the super persona. occasionally one of them tries to just tell her their actual home address and she's like NO. you will NOT add to my workload I am hiring a submarine to deliver to Aquaman not joe schmoe!!

[nat-20s]

Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night nor alien invasion nor batarang nor time travel will stay THIS courier

[bethanythebogwitch]

One day, one glorious day, we will open up Tumblr and the crabs wil be raving and the Castiels will be confessing and we will all know that the world has become a better place

[sexygrammaticalerrors]

[lordsausage]

shoutout to the words "overmorrow" and "ereyesterday". english losing these words was stupid. "the day after tomorrow" "the day before yesterday" clunky-ass constructions. revolting. i'm bringing overmorrow and ereyesterday back in my idiolect and there is nothing you can do about it

[barbaricjester]

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

[crowboy-bebop]

oh my fucking god

[durnesque-esque]

Fucking Schrödinger's Senator

[fiannaai]

Future Generations will never understand this timeline

[jupiter235]

I don't understand this timeline, and I live in it now.

[syn4k]

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

[joyflameball]

[nolaplantdaddy]

I love when people ask "how did you learn this skill?" I just started, there's no secret. that's it. a vast majority of the time the only thing holding you back is your trepidation to start.

[noegrets]

[abbielauren2024]

Reblog if you’re grateful for your commenters <3