i am the human equivalent of a shitpost

My name is Jessica and I like band and musical theater and KKPsi and dank memes.

[memewhore]

[lithping]

here he comes

[voideddragon]

[memewhore]

[lithping]

here he comes

[voideddragon]

[memewhore]

[lithping]

here he comes

[voideddragon]

[theycantalk]

[ohsuestorm]

The Return of the King (2003) // Wonder Woman (2017)

[ithelpstodream]

[herblesbians]

some trends i am really down for

being nice to people working in customer service

girls in thigh-highs

receiving $400,000

pasta

[d0nn0-deactivated20150125]

Finish this christmas song! Dashing through the

[lorddarkfetus-deactivated201503]

supermarket hurredly, i need to find syrup. i need all the syrup i can buy. enough to fill 4 bathtubs. im going to cover myself in syrup and slide around the ground to acheive maximum velocity. get ready world im coming your way fast

[shit-editor]

I took @dat-goat-boi‘s shitpost (with permission) and turned it into an even shittier post. Enjoy!

[dat-goat-boi]

a friend of mine made an edit of my shitpost so that’s neat

[berries-archive]

Adult: your hickey is crude and trashy, you should be ashamed

me: 

is a teenager

is living life and having fun

is bothering no one

hasn’t had 3 failed marriages

didn’t ask, martha

[knightwood]

[joaquinhighroller]

as a child i knew sumthin was up wit this scene

[foulserpent]

i call all my friends after 20 years of no contact and invite them to visit me at my house, which is a farm in the middle of nowhere. they approach the farm gates and i appear looking like this

[sneeking]

..go on…….

[foulserpent]

i lead you into the barn where i live and offer you snacks and refreshments. it’s a bowl of minnows and 3 caprisun pouches

[brightereyes]

accept the capri sun, cautiously refuse the minnows

[foulserpent]

i tell you that it’s fine, leaves more for me, but you can tell im a little hurt. we watch cutthroat kitchen in silence, i seem to be attempting to drink my caprisun through my gas mask, but im failing miserably. you say nothing.

[brightereyes]

i say nothing

[foulserpent]

at one point i go into a shed and bring out more caprisun pouches and a single triscuit for you

[brightereyes]

Thanks

[foulserpent]

youre welcome

[bisexualgambit]

Too depressed to be awake? Not depressed enough for a Depression Nap™? Welcome to Existential Crisis Wrapped in Blanket!

[pricklylegs-deactivated20250727]

[vampire-crimson]

what the actual fuck

[pidge-gunson-deactivated2018010]

Men don’t know women can pee

[eatyourfacecat-deactivated20250]

ive been sitting on the toilet for 20 minutes trying to piss but the pee keeps getting lost in my confusing Woman Body

[garbashians-deactivated20171116]

i haven’t peed in 16 days… my pee keeps running into the minotaur in the labyrinth that is my Womanly Excretory System

[blackness-by-your-side]

100%

[totalariana]

I feel like Taylor Swift has been suspiciously quiet and that scares me like she could pop up at anytime and give me an album full of her two note range songs that no one asked for and I’ll have to deal with them on the radio for the next three years

[yourbrothershotfriend]

You guys drain me in the comments, you can act like you guys hate her and her music as much as you want. But when that masc dude who fucked you for 3 months leaves you on read and never contacts you again, it’ll be you listening to ‘White Horse’ crying at 2am smh

[mxnrique]

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

me giving my pet chihuahua two kisses: chimuahmuah

[threebigolsausages-deactivated2]

sorry that it didnt make you chihaha

[mayflydecember]

@m0rdecaw