things my best friend has said taken out of context part vi.
change pronouns/tenses if needed !
tw : mature themes & strong language.
stop i almost choked on my london fog.
i, too, do not partake in math.
wine, pizza, money, and ass.
we gettin lit. is that what the kids say?
i love when old guys who don’t know each other just start talking in the costco line.
i, your emotional support canadian, am here.
i went downstairs and i was gonna scare my nephew but i accidentally scared my dad and he almost dropped his cheesecake.
there isn’t a sad bone in my body right now.
i will apologize every 5 and a half minutes tonight.
how come rich white people always be gettin’ mixed up into bad shit?
i’m gonna go lay down in some mud.
thought i lost my parents in home depot.
i agree guillotines should for sure come back.
what kind of pizza do you think silent hill serves? probably body part pizza.
it’s the lack of support for me.
i’m famous now so i have to charge you $5 to speak to me.
i straight up ……… miss you very much.
we really do share two whole brain cells.
i love a good dramatic zoom.
i strive every day to live as a widowed billionaire.
i just sneezed and accidentally punched myself in the nose.
i’m gonna shower your depressed ass with love from my own depressed ass.
call me maggie grace because i’ve been taken.
i’m on my way to do a drive by smacking.
i scare my family on purpose because i’m terrible.
for legal reasons that is a joke.