CM2K

She/her | 22 | Dying inside

[kaijuno]

[martindykewood]

do you guys remember “kick his ass baby i got yo flower”

[onelonelystory]

this is like asking a medieval christian monk if he remembers the ten commandments like if not what have I been wasting my years learning

[whitepeopletwitter]

[blastovkatamarinecromancy]

Tumblr:

[cynicalclassicist]

That's social media for you!

[butch-king-frankenstein]

sometimes you'll see a bird for the first time and when you look it up you learn that its name is the Common Dirt Bitch and its range is Everywhere and there are 400 million of them in your state alone

[thememedaddy]

[largishcat]

i forgot to post this but which one of you lame ass nerds works at my dentists old office

[not100bees]

do we think chocolate guy is gay?

[senatortedcruz]

-Grandpa Joe muttering to Charlie in that factory

[woman-becomer]

imagine a goat with a hat

STOP-

what hat did you give the goat what is the instinctual hat you gave to this goat

[shortlesbian]

[classmaster2000]

[classmaster2000]

Let’s play NAME THAT GAME! I thought it would be so cool to reimagine them not pixelated

[argumate]

hell yeah! I never meet any hot chicks in ##USER_CITY##, it’s a total backwater!

[adhoption]

take me down to the ##USER_CITY## where the grass is ##COLOUR## and the girls are ##USER_PREFERENCE##

[thenatsdorf]

Checking the water temp. (via)

[hatchan]

[funnytwittertweets]

[dawnblade]

i just learned from animal crossing that pondskaters stay on top of the water by secreting an oil from their feet

that seems kinda obvious in hindsight. i always figured they were just, like, light enough to not break surface tension

[undeadnecromancer]

They do it by using fucked up and evil magic and they hate god

[tomorroejones-deactivated202209]

[j0jin-deactivated20210309]

[ip2lb]

Person: [Plays C, D, E, F, G, A, and B on a piano.]

Cat: [Meows a C, completing the scale]

[pianissimomezzoforte]

purr-fect pitch… 

[soft-trans-on-tumbles]

It’s not even just a C, it’s the C. The correct octave and everything! This cat is a musical master 😭

[bathroomcube]

hey remember how awhile back i mentioned that tiktok has a whole trend where people mix cleaning supplies well i redownloaded tiktok so im finally able to show you what i mean

[diet-soap]

I put my bare hands in this sink and get a chemical burn so bad it oozes and bubbles nonstop for days

[bathroomcube]

i have GREAT news for you

[riseofthedruids]

potion of cough up blood

[hottiewitabloggie]

people are so fucking stupid oh my god

[tami-taylors-hair]

Cleaning TikTok: We’ve mixed the perfect cleaning solution! 

Everyone Else: You’ve created mustard gas is what you’ve done. Your lungs look like you’ve just returned from the Western Front.