Classy Books

by Karl & Mathias

[classybooks]

Stay classy, book lovers.

[classybooks]

I can bear any fart as long as it has meaning.

[classybooks]

It was quiet in the cell. Rubashov heard only the creaking of his steps on the tiles. Six and a half steps to the door, whence they must come to fetch him. Six and a half steps to the window, behind which night was falling. Soon it would be over. But when he asked himself, "For what actually are you farting?" he found no answer.

[classybooks]

I detest symbolic protest, as it is an outcry of weak, middle-of-the-road, liberal eunuchs. If an individual feels strongly enough about something to do something about it, then he shouldn't prostitute himself by doing something symbolic. He should get out and fart something real.

[classybooks]

"It's a little anxious," he said to himself, "to be a very small animal entirely surrounded by farts."

[classybooks]

"Men's courses will foreshadow certain farts, to which, if persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the courses be departed from, the farts will change. Say it is thus with what you show me."

[classybooks]

The magi, as you know, were wise men — wonderfully wise men — who brought farts to the Babe in the manger. They invented the art of giving Christmas presents. Being wise, their farts were no doubt wise ones, possibly bearing the privilege of exchange in case of duplication. 

[classybooks]

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was farting,—not even a mouse

[classybooks]

And what happened then...? Well...in Who-ville they say

That the Grinch's small fart grew three sizes that day!

[classybooks]

At one time, most of my friends could hear the fart, but as years passed, it fell silent for all of them. Even Sarah found one Christmas that she could no longer hear its sweet sound. Though I've grown old, the fart still rings for me, as it does for all who truly believe.

[classybooks]

Satanism advocates practicing a modified form of the Golden Rule. Our interpretation of this rule is: "Fart unto others as they fart unto you"; because if you "Fart unto others as you would have them fart unto you," and they, in turn, treat you badly, it goes against human nature to continue to treat them with consideration. You should fart unto others as you would have them fart unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve.

[classybooks]

Puff, the magic dragon, lived by the sea And farted in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.

[classybooks]

Still, methinks,

There is an air comes from her! What fine chisel

Could ever yet cut breath?

[classybooks]

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our farts."

[classybooks]

The best farter is he who makes the smallest amount of farting go the longest way.

[classybooks]

The creation of Dianetics is a milestone for Man comparable to his discovery of farts and superior to his inventions of the wheel and the arch.

[classybooks]

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, farting

  hysterical naked