And though she be but little, she is fierce.

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[classysassyandalotbadassy]

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

@bakinghistory

             IT’S RARE FOR ELLA to feel nervous.  growing up she’d seen pretty much everything, been in all kinds of situations forcing her to be tough in order to come out in one piece on the other side.  but now… she’s nervous. as nervous as she had been on the first date with illyana, although she’d hidden it pretty well.  she won’t be able to hide it so well with sawyer.  he knows her too much.  but what’s the worst that could happen?  even if he’s not receptive, he’ll at least be flattered.  sweet and wholesome as he is, he’s still a guy.  she kisses illyana one more time and grabs her proffered hand, getting to her feet.  “ …here goes nothing! ”  she begins to lead the brunette out of the room, heart racing, wondering whether to take this time to plan out what to say, or stay in keeping with tonight’s theme of improvisation.             the box of takeout leftovers is empty and lining the trash can now, sawyer washed up and ready to sleep whenever drowsiness hits him.  he’s curled up under a space-themed bedspread, watching a competitive cooking show on his computer.  while he’s thrilled for both illyana and ella, their clear ADORATION for each other sharply reminds him of how much he misses having someone; hugs, kisses and intimacy on tap.  he wants to find his person, but knows rushing into it never ends well —— and to do it only to avoid loneliness wouldn’t be fair. especially when he’s fighting back other, confusing feelings.  stopping outside of sawyer’s room with illyana’s hand in her own, ella gives the other woman one last glance.  “ ready? ” it’s more of a moment to reign in her own nerves than illyana’s, though, and with a deep breath, the blonde raps on the door. “ …marshmallow? ”               sawyer promptly pauses the video and slides out of bed, crossing the room to open the door. finding both of them standing here, his stomach twists with the beginnings of nerves.  “ …what’s up? ”  brows lift, punctuating the question.  “ we need to talk to you. ”  ella’s tone is serious, so he figures it’s important.  “ um… okay.  come in. ”  he stands aside to grant entry, and ella quickly pads over to the bed and sits on the end of it, reaching out for him in request for him to follow. “ come sit. ”  this is probably going to be a WEIRD conversation, and she can see he’s nervous.  once he joins her, greens turn to illyana.  “ do you wanna start, or shall i? ”

Illyana nods and, despite the own nerves she’s combatting, she squeezes Ella’s hand in comfort and reassurance. This is a hell of a leap for them both, but even more so for Ella. She doesn’t think Sawyer would break up their friendship over misplaced feelings, but Illyana knows first hand that it’s always a fear that lingers in the back of one’s mind.

As Sawyer bids them entrance, Illyana joins the two of them on his bed. It’s such a silly thing to fixate on, especially considering the gravity of what they’re about to do, but she can’t help but stare at the space-themed bedspread and smile softly. Despite all they’ve been through, Ella and Sawyer are two the kindest people she knows and they’ve never lost that sense of childhood wonder. It’s grown and matured, she suspects, but she loves that Sawyer’s bedspread showcases his fascination with all that’s beyond our world, and how Ella’s laugh carries not a trace of bitterness, but instead rings like the purest of bells. I never had a chance, she thinks without regret. I was always going to fall in love with them both.

Do you wanna start, or shall I? Instinct tells her to let Ella tackle this sensitive topic. After all, she does know Sawyer better. But it feels like the coward’s way out — this all started because of her, because she’d walked in on Sawyer when she shouldn’t have, and because she wasn’t capable of hiding her confusing feelings from her girlfriend. Seems only fair that she be the one to rip off the proverbial bandaid. “I’ll start,” Illyana says. And, with a deep, steadying breath, she takes the plunge.

“I’ve been… struggling with some complicated feelings. It’s been going on for a while, but they were easy to ignore for the most part. Until I walked in on you the other day. Ella could tell something was off and asked me about it. I can lie to myself, but I can’t lie to her. And I don’t want to lie to you either. I… seeing you like that… it made me confront the fact that…” Why is this so hard to say? She takes another cleansing breath. “I like you, Sawyer. And… not just like a friend.” She could’ve phrased it as we like you, but she felt that would be oddly intrusive, like Ella should have the right and opportunity to make her own revelations as she saw fit.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

vintagesniper

          THE FIRST THING bucky becomes aware of, drawing him out of his unconscious state, are lips peppering gentle kisses over his skin.  his own pull into a blissful smile, a soft and sleepy  ‘ mm… ’ of encouragement sounding from his throat.  his hand slightly moves along her spine as a result ; the best he can do while still mostly asleep. he then wakes up a little further without opening his eyes, becoming vaguely aware of the familiar, solid form behind him as well as illyana pressed to his front, but initially believes it to be mouse.           but then the previous night comes rushing back to him, and blues finally open as more kisses are felt.  the first thing he does is offer illyana a warm smile, giving her back a gentle rub. “ g'morning, beautiful. ”  but then he becomes aware of the arm around his waist, which slips a little further down his abdomen and tightens a little ; prompting the ex-soldier to turn slightly and catch a sleeping blond in his peripheral vision. another faint smile forms on his features,nostalgia flooding his heart.           steve always was a clingy sleeper, and he’d opted for this position more often during the war and once he’d gotten bigger ; bucky waking up a few mornings to find soft, full lips covering his neck in kisses.  the one good thing they had amidst all that death, fear and pain.  he doesn’t want to wake steve yet, although being sandwiched between his two favorite people threatens to bring about a physical reaction bucky can’t afford to let happen right now.  thus he tries to disregard steve’s position, focusing his attention on her.  “ you sleep well?”

Illyana smiles sweetly at Bucky’s murmured g’morning, beautiful. She knows she’s attractive, but throughout most of her life, she’s vacillated back and forth (depending on the day) as to whether compliments on her looks boost her self-confidence, or leave her with a tiny, but persistent anxiety. Beauty fades for everyone, after all, and a love built mostly on physical attraction will likely fade in time as well. She tends to take compliments about her mind or spirit with much less potential inner turmoil - those feel so much more permanent to her (even if she recognizes that they too can be taken). But with Bucky, for whatever reason, it’s never been a concern. When compliments of beautiful or gorgeous fall from his lips, Illyana can soak them in without complication. Bucky makes her feel so impossibly loved that it would feel silly to worry about such things.

Even with Steve curled up against his back, Illyana doesn’t feel any sense of insecurity or niggling worries in the recesses of her mind. “Morning, my love,” she whispers back, settling happy against him with one last kiss to his lips and nodding at his question. “I did. And I’m guessing you did too,” she said with a grin, her eyes catching on Steve for a moment. Her hand traces absent patterns on Bucky’s arm and she gazes up at him with inquisitive hazel eyes, “This isn’t the first time you’ve slept together, is it?” Her tone is soft and gentle, not wanting to wake their other bed-mate, or give her beloved cause to think she’s bothered by the notion.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

vintagesniper    

       HANDS RUB AT HER UPPER ARMS in attempt to generate more warmth, surprised when she rests against him ; his arm sliding around her back in a loose but protective embrace. there’s a small chill in the air without his jacket, but bucky shakes his head when illyana voices concern about him.  “ don’t worry, i’ll be fine.  this place’ll warm up soon. ” he’d been through a lot in the military by way of extreme highs and lows in temperature, and he has dealt with far worse than this.             he can’t help dipping down to press a kiss to the tip of the young woman’s head before stepping back and crossing the room to the window in order to take a cautious glance out of the window.  nothing but darkness and snow. he relaxes after the fact.  pulling the curtain across it, he turns away and proceeds to flop onto the couch and let his aching body rest.  “ …so, what do we do now? ”  its strange ; no longer having to run.  it’s time to build a life again, and the concept is almost foreign to bucky now. 

Illyana has always been a tactile person — whether it was nurture or nature, it was impossible to say. In her youngest years as a baby and toddler, it was rare to find even a single picture of her alone. When Elisabeta had given birth to her daughter, Patrick Kearney had gathered his sons around her bedside and each one of them took turns holding their baby sister (save for Garreth, who’d been not quite two at the time). Brandon had been the most reluctant to let her go, staring down at the peacefully sleeping newborn in his tiny arms with childlike wonder. For as much as little Illyana had belonged to her parents, she’d also belonged to her brothers. They’d carted her around everywhere with them for years (until they became moody teenagers) and she’d quickly grown used to always sitting on their shoulders or curling up against them on the sofa during family movie night.

Illyana had grown used to constant touches of comfort and reassurance, love and support. As she grew older, she became more selective in who she’d share them with. But it remained an integral part of her person. A part that had withered over the last several lonely months. It was nice to not be alone anymore, to have someone she trusted enough to share casual affection with, whether it remained strictly platonic or morphed into something else.

As Bucky takes a seat on the couch, Illyana joins him, letting herself sink into the cushions and pulling her legs up, wrapping her arms around them to better preserve the warmth. The top of her head still tingles where Bucky had sweetly kissed her, but she pushes that aside and ponders his question. “I think we need a warning system, something to let us know long in advance if we’ve got intruders. And we should probably also fortify this place, make it impenetrable. And… maybe see if there’s a way to create an exit out of the basement? In case we get trapped?” She bit her lip, wishing she’d taken more of an interest in architecture and construction. She was a world class hacker and an expert baker — but both talents seemed sadly useless right now.

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jamesbarnestws

“If that were the case we would be in the ER every other week.” That was Bucky’s lame attempt at a joke. As usual, it was hard to pick up on the joke because the man simply didn’t have a joke-telling voice. He shouldn’t even try. It didn’t help that his sense of humor was unique, for lack of a better word.

Bucky got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen, he was thirsty and he was starting to get hungry. Oddly enough, his stomach wasn’t grumbling. He grabbed another forkful of the pie while he looked inside the fridge for something to drink. There was water, juice, juice boxes for their child and Bucky went for the beer. Beer that wouldn’t do a damned thing for him. It wouldn’t get him drunk and it wouldn’t hydrate him either. He opens the bottle with his hand and takes a sip, looking over at Illyana. “Do you want to get your nipples pierced?” Yes, this was the conversation they were having before their wedding.

Illyana laughed. “Well right now there’s nothing on your dick that could get stuck in me, silly.” She was bizarrely touched that Bucky would be willing to get a piercing in his penis if she asked him to. She would absolutely not be doing that — mostly because it sounded painful and she never wanted to cause him pain. But also because she just didn’t care for the idea. She wasn’t opposed to it either, but it wasn’t something that really excited her.

Illyana stood up to join him in the kitchen, grabbing blanket along the way to wrap herself up in. She was naked save for the panties she wore and she was starting to get cold. But she was too high and lazy to put real clothes on. The blanket was a perfectly acceptable substitute in her book. Grabbing some popcorn, Illyana noshed on a handful as she poured herself some water. “Not particularly. But if you’d like that, I’m open to talking about it.” She didn’t like or dislike the idea, but if he felt strongly, then she’d consider it.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

This was taking forever and the longer it took the more frustrated Bucky got. It was all a mixture of grunts and sighs. Patience wasn’t a trait Bucky had been gifted with. He stopped, taking a break before he lost his mind. He sets the pliers down and turns around, his back against the sink and now facing Illyana. “You needed to be away from me.” He sounded so confident when he said it that it almost left no room for discussion. He couldn’t explain it either. There had been something in her eyes that night. Something in her snapped after the kill and Bucky saw it. “I don’t think you’re you with me in your life, Illyana. I didn’t want you to change for me. But I didn’t think the real you and the real me could live under the same roof anymore.”

It had been painful. It still was. Illyana brought out the best in him. Sadly, he didn’t feel he brought out the best in her. It wasn’t fair but when had life ever been fair to James Barnes? “I love you too much to break you.”

Illyana shook her head. “You can’t break me, Bucky. Not permanently. I bounce back eventually. Not as quick as you might like, but so it goes. I think you forget sometimes… I didn’t speak for an entire year after Mom was murdered. Not a single word for just over three hundred and sixty five days. But here I am now, talking up a storm.” She sighed and leaned back against the counter, crossing her arms under her chest. Not in defense, but more as a gesture of self-comfort.

“I learned some things about myself while you were gone. Like…I don’t know how to love except with all my heart. When I do love someone… I give them a little piece of me. And when they leave, they take it with them. It hurts, fuck it hurts more than I know how to explain. But time heals all wounds, right? So I adapt and I learn how to live without that piece. Losing someone I love… it feels like my soul shatters every time. But it always knits itself back together eventually. And you know what? I’m okay with that being the trade off. Because when I love… it feels like flying, like there are no limits or bounds to how high I can go. I guess… I guess for me, life is all about ebbs and flows. And I’ll take the pain, if that’s what it requires. Because it makes me cherish the pleasure that much more.”

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

“So you’re that kind of fighter?” Bucky was on a roll with the teasing though as always it was hard to tell. His tone of voice never really changed too much. “You torture people?” That’s exactly what this was. Having a hot girl on top of him was torture. It’d been a while and underneath the super soldier Bucky was still a man.

Thankfully, they were interrupted by a knock on her bedroom door. “Illyana, dad’s home. If you’re not busy, he wants you downstairs.” If you’re not busy. Illyana’s brothers were already coming up with crazy ideas in their head.

Bucky reacted to the word way before Illyana did. Hearing that Patrick was home, Bucky almost pushed Illyana off him. Patrick approved of Bucky. The two had a good relationship. That didn’t mean Bucky was cool with the man finding him in bed with his only daughter, in his home on top of everything.

“You go do that. I’m gonna take a quick shower before dinner.”

Illyana knew exactly what Bucky was implying and it weakened her strength of will. She’d been so determined that nothing would happen between them this Christmas. They’d begin and end the holiday in the exact same manner — with love, but distance. That plan had clearly been shot to hell. She was literally lying on top of him right now, trying to keep herself from squirming. Not because she was uncomfortable — but because she’d only be doing it to tease him. And herself, in all fairness. It wasn’t easy being this close to Bucky and not just slipping her hand down to stroke his cock and purr into his ear all the delightfully naughty things she wanted him to do to her.

Luckily, her brothers killed any chance of their play wrestling going any further. Nothing could suck the sexual charge from a room like mentioning someone’s parents. “I’m busy plotting your demise,” she called out to Garreth. Her brothers would definitely be getting payback for this little scheme — even if it was one Illyana was kinda, sorta glad they’d taken part of. Damnit. “Tell Dad I’ll be right there.”

Garreth walked off and Illyana nodded at Bucky before reluctantly slipping off of him. “I’ll see you down there.” She walked to the door, but paused before opening it. Looking at him over her shoulder, Illyana smiled. “And Bucky? Welcome home.” She didn’t mean it in a literal sense — Bucky had never been to this house before. But for Illyana, home had always meant family. And in that sense, Illyana very much wanted Bucky to know that, no matter what did or didn’t happen between them this weekend, he would always have a home wherever the Kearney’s were. And with that sentiment, Illyana left her husband and went downstairs to join her father.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

Bucky said nothing. Both because he was so focused on his arm and because since she was talking he decided it was better to listen. Bucky knew Illyana well enough to hear the vulnerability in her voice.

A grunt falls from Bucky’s lips as bending the metal proves to be more difficult than he had anticipated. Thankfully it didn’t hurt. He could feel it though. It was kind of like when you go to the dentist to get a cavity filled, you feel the pressure but no pain.The pliers slip at one point, and he drops them in the sink, taking a deep breath before he reaches for them. He’d just started on this and he was already frustrated. Hydra should have trained him to fix his own arm.

Once again he picks up the pliers to pick up where he left off. “I was living in Bucharest.” His living conditions there just a step up from his living conditions back in Brooklyn before Illyana, still way more than he deserved, in his opinion. “Alone and staying out of trouble.” Really, the money he was earning was clean money and he didn’t dirty his hands for good or bad. He wasn’t avenging and he wasn’t doing anything illegal. Bucky had gone as under the radar a person could go without dying. The only way he could get noticed was by someone lying, which was basically what had happened.

“I couldn’t have judged you and it wouldn’t have been my place to argue.”

Illyana was a little relieved when Bucky said he’d been alone — but it didn’t last long and was quickly replaced by guilt. He didn’t deserve to be alone. He deserved to be loved, to be showered in so much of it that the pain of his past was drowned out. And instead, he’d spent all that time by himself. She’d been alone most of the time too, but it was different. It was a choice for her, with the comforting knowledge that she could return to her family back home whenever she pleased. (And it’s not like she’d gone radio silent on them — they’d just thought she’d moved to Costa Rica to get over her break up and start fresh.) But Bucky didn’t have a choice — he was alone out of necessity. It was tragic, really. The man who needed and deserved so much love had to cut himself off from the possibility of it to preserve his safety. The world could really suck sometimes.

“Well, next time I’ll call, then.” But the words were thick and nearly stuck in her throat. Next time implied they’d be parting ways again soon. And more than anything, Illyana really just wanted Bucky to stay, to try and forge a life together once more. There were aspects of herself Illyana knew she could never change — how passionately and completely she loved was one of those things. But she was slowly learning how to cope with the intensity of her emotions without letting them overcome her. It was a work in progress, but there was progress.

“So… why didn’t you call either?” It wasn’t an accusation, but she was very curious as to what his reasons had been for the radio silence.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

Betty dressed herself and being the little daredevil she was, she chose jeans, a tshirt and sneakers instead of a dress. It was a clear sign that she was getting on all the rides and that she would be running up and down the boardwalk. Bucky helped Grant get dress in a similar outfit, complete with a Yankees baseball cap and a matching navy blue hoodie. “Betty, don’t forget a sweater.” The east coast weather was unpredictable this time of year and super soldier serum wasn’t passed down through genetics Bucky’s kids caught every cold and flu in the city.

Once the kids were dressed Bucky went into his and Illyana’s bedroom but before changing he just laid down on the couch, watching his wife get ready. Just a quiet minute to enjoy the privacy between him and Illyana while Betty told her little brother everything they were going to do that day. She was bossy and she got that from her momma.

“He’s two.” Said Buck out of nowhere and sounding surprised by his own statement. “Our baby is two.”

Illyana flushed, feeling Bucky’s eyes on her as he lounged on the couch. Not in embarrassment, but with pleasure. She adored that the desire between them never seemed to wane. It certainly helped keep her insecurities at bay — she was 35 now and aging well, thankfully. But there was only so much meditation, healthy eating, and staying fit could do to fight back the tide of time. Bucky wouldn’t age, at least not noticeably so. But she and the kids all would. Right now, it was easy to push that aside for later, to pretend that they were a completely normal family. But eventually, the other shoe would drop. She just hoped it didn’t drop too hard. When the time came, it wasn’t going to be easy for any of them, least of all Bucky.

She smiled at buck’s statement and joined him on the couch for a stolen moment with just the two of them. She loved their kids, she really, really did. But she needed times like this too, where it was just the two of them. Curling up against her husband, Illyana pressed a kiss to his jaw, her fingers intertwining with his. “He is. It’s crazy, right? We’re gonna have to start potty training him soon.” She just hoped it wasn’t as difficult as weaning him. They’d started that when he was 18 months and he was just now getting used to it. Grant had not liked it at all at first, some nights refusing to eat unless he could have Mommy Milk. She’d felt like an awful mother, watching him cry, and had nearly thrown in the towel a dozen times. “Sometimes I wish I could just freeze time. They’re both growing up way too fast.” Betty had taken to school like a duck to water. She was in second grade now and Illyana was dreading the day she had to send Grant off too. Part of her wished she’d just homeschooled them both, but she knew it was a selfish desire.

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jamesbarnestws

“Why didn’t you reach out to me?” The break up had been amicable. It wasn’t a separation due to lack of love, or trust, it was miscommunication and heading in opposite directions. Illyana was hurt and there was a guilt to that because Bucky could have stopped it before she even got a bruise. If she was in over her head, all she had to do was contact him. One phone call, a text, an email and Bucky would have dropped everything and gone to her. Maybe that would have altered the course of things. Maybe that way at least one person could know, for a fact, that he wasn’t guilty of the bombing. Steve took it on faith.

Bucky doesn’t look at her as he awaits an answers. He looks through the tools, rummaging through them until he finds a pair of pliers large enough and strong enough to bend the metal of his left arm. It wasn’t going to be easy. Bucky was wrong but so was the metal. He stands in front of the mirror so he could have another view of the arm and then begins to bend the metal edges inward.

“I would’ve protected you.”

Illyana isn’t sure how to answer the question at first. It certainly hadn’t been one she was expecting. Though perhaps she should’ve. It was a fair question. And one she took a moment to consider, to put her thoughts together. “It wasn’t just one reason,” she began slowly, once her thoughts started solidifying. “At first, I was trying to get over you, to not feel as strongly as I did. And I didn’t think I could do that if we were still in communication. Didn’t really work, but that was my thinking.” It hadn’t worked at all, actually. She was still just as in love with him as she’d always been. And she figured she was bound for heartache because of it. “Then it was because I knew I couldn’t lie to you. If you asked what I was doing, I’d have to be honest. And I knew you wouldn’t approve and I just… didn’t want to go from radio silence to arguing.”

She took a shaky breath, feeling exposed and vulnerable, but so was Bucky in that moment. Physically, in his case. She couldn’t look at him, not his eyes anyway, but she also couldn’t look away. So her attention fixated on his arm and the damage he was trying to repair. I wish I had any sort of mechanical skills. Her brother Lex did. He was a genius mechanic. Not Tony Stark level, to be sure. But he had experience with everything from motorcycles to jet engines. But she wasn’t sure if Bucky would be comfortable with that idea, so she said nothing about. “And then… you never called either. And I guess I just figured that you were building a new life. If you’d found something or someone else to make you happy, I didn’t want to get in the way of that,” she finished, her voice quiet.

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jamesbarnestws

“Not wasted but definitely unnecessary.” Replied Bucky with a lazy nod meant to add emphasis to his statement. Now, it wasn’t like he didn’t enjoy Illyana’s little fashion surprises. She’d come up with a few throughout the years, vintage lingerie being a favorite but Bucky was a simple man. “Black cotton panties and a bra.” He paused. “Not a sports bra though, just a regular one.” He licked his lips at the thought. Clearly the man was a lot more comfortable talking about these things when he was so relaxed and didn’t care about anything other than Shuri’s dress.

“Did you people get their nipples pierced now?” He was impartial to it on men but thought it was cute on women. “Men can get their penis pierced. I’d get mine pierced for you, you know.”

Illyana thought about that for a minute and shrugged. “I can do black cotton panties and a matching bra sometimes. But to be honest, wearing fancy lingerie and sexy clothes gives me a confidence boost. So I’ll probably keep wearing them regardless. But I’ll try to mix more casual stuff in for you too.” For as beautiful as she was, Illyana was still human and still battled with her own insecurities. It didn’t help that already her husband was developing a small group of crazy fans who thought she was not good enough for him and he deserved some supermodel with fifteen degrees. Or Steve Rogers. She’d lost count of how many times she’d had to stop herself from snarkily replying, “Yeah, well, Bucky is welcome to fuck us both if he wants. I won’t complain.” But considering that probably would result in massive amounts of embarrassment for the two best friends, she wisely refrained.

She couldn’t refrain from nearly choking on air though at his next comment. “Please don’t get your dick pierced. That’s… I mean, I appreciate the thought. But that sounds really painful and like… what if it got caught or something? Can you imagine having to go to the ER because we can’t get your dick out of me?” She’s not sure what it’d get caught on — she’s a little too high to think that far. But the mere notion is enough to make her squirm. She pauses though, cocking a head and looking at him. “Do you want me to get my nipples pierced?” Was that what this was about?

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jamesbarnestws

Grant had been a gift to their family. Illyana seemed happier. It was like little Grant was the missing piece of the puzzle they didn’t even know was missing. It balanced out their family and Bucky was grateful for him.

That wasn’t always the case. The pregnancy send Bucky through a whirlwind of emotions. The kid had been unplanned and after the ordeal with Betty, Bucky had not wanted another child. It had bee hard, stressful and seeing Illyana in pain was one of the worst things the former Winter Soldier had even endured. Here they were now, with the most charming kid Bucky had ever met. He took after Steve more than he did Buck, from his personality to his behavior.

“Yes, Dum Dum can come too but we need to get you dressed so come on.” Bucky opens his arms out for him and when the kid goes into his arms, Bucky looks at Illyana. “Я надеюсь, что он потеряет его на Кони-Айленде.“

Illyana quirked an eyebrow at her husband and shook her head, trying to suppress a grin. “Тогда мы будем там весь день ищем его,” she quipped. There was no way Grant would let them leave without Dum Dum. Their son was almost abnormally well-behaved. Tantrums were a true rarity and Illyana hoped that remained the case as they moved into the ‘terrible twos.’ But misplacing Dum Dum? That would likely result in a full meltdown. For whatever reason, Grant loved that damn doll. Illyana didn’t really get it either. She was just grateful neither of her children seemed interested in Stark plushies. She didn’t think she could stomach seeing that man’s symbol in their home. (No, she hadn’t gotten over him nearly killing her husband. And no, she never would.)

“You’re still my favorite Commando!” She called as Bucky took Grant into his room to change. Despite their teasing, her heart felt full and impossibly happy. When Betty had been born, Bucky could barely hold her even while lying perfectly still on the couch and with Illyana nearby in case something went wrong. Now, he took their children with ease. It was a beautiful metamorphosis — fatherhood looked good on him. And she was so proud of how far he’d come, how much healing he’d done. Being cleared of all charges probably helped with that too. And despite the fact that Illyana knew there’d be some dumb paparazzi shots of them all over the trash rags tomorrow, it was all worth it. Her family was happy and whole, her husband free to claim and raise his children, and there were no sinister organizations breathing down their necks. This might not have been the life she’d envisioned when she was a starry-eyed freshman in college. But it was so, so much better.

Illyana got changed while Bucky attended to their son — nothing too elaborate. A pair of black yoga pants, a matching tank top, and a baseball cap to help hide her face. They were inevitably going to get caught, but she’d try to stay incognito as long as she could. She wasn’t as recognizable as Bucky (thank God), but it wasn’t like she could pass for anonymous anymore either.

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jamesbarnestws

Coney Island had always been one of Bucky’s favorite places, up until his name was cleared and he was labeled a hero. Now he got why Steve was incognito a whopping nintey nine point nine percent of the time. Unlike Steve though, Bucky didn’t have the charisma or the patience to deal with people when he got recognized. Guess a normal life just wasn’t in the works for Buck but hey, this was better than being on the run.

“I don’t have a choice, do I?” Bucky didn’t have to ask to know where the idea came from and since it was their son’s birthday he knew he couldn’t say no.

Betty looked up at her dad and grinned. “YES!” She shouted as she ran into her room to change into something more appropriate and comfortable.

Bucky’s attention went from Betty to Grant and he poked his side, “Hey, buddy. Mommy’s mine.” The little bugger hogged Illyana more than Bucky did. It was adorable but Bucky did get jealous sometimes.

“No, daddy. Mama’s mine.” Grant clung to Illyana and Bucky just looked at her. “I’m jealous.”

I don’t have a choice, do I? Illyana grinned and bit her lip, shaking her head. “Unfortunately not. Birthday boy makes the rules. We’re all just along for the ride.”

Betty was utterly adorable, rushing out of the room to change. But it was Bucky that made her laugh. She shifted Grant so that he was resting easily on her right hip. Her left arm slid around Bucky’s waist and she pulled him close, eyes twinkling with adoration. “ты знаешь я всегда буду твоей,” she murmured before stealing a kiss from her husband. The fingers of her free hand toyed with the hem of his shirt, dipping under to trail teasingly along his skin. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later,” she murmured, flashing him a heated glance before Grant distracted her once more.

“Can I bwing Dum-Dum too?”

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

“The girl made me an arm, Illyana.” Bucky was so serious about it too. “The least I can do is make sure she has a dress for tomorrow.” Not just a dress either, she went all out for his arm and he wanted to give her the same treatment. An arm, a dress, definitely not the same thing but right now, in Bucky’s head, they were of equal importance.

The thought of Shuri and T’Challa at their wedding didn’t make him anxious on it’s own, but the realization that two royals meant more press did and he rubbed his hands over his face. Bucky would have been fine with a small wedding but Steve said this was good publicity. That it would help him shed the Winter Soldier image and start to bring back the Sergeant one. It didn’t make him any less anxious.

Nerves only lasted about a minute, then his mind jumped back to the original subject. Fashion. “The only women’s fashion I care about is their undergarments.”

Bucky was being kind of adorable, fretting about Shuri’s fashion and deciding that it could somehow be equated with the high-tech arm she’d gifted him. “Shuri’s dress is different from the one the bridesmaids are wearing. She’s my maid of honor and I wanted her to stand out. It’s very Wakandan — and very beautiful.”

Part of Illyana still wished they could have just gone down to the Justice of the Peace and not made a fuss of things. But Steve had won them over with his publicity argument. She wanted the world to see Bucky the way she did — a good and just man who deserved nothing but happiness and support. If a grand affair would help with that, then she’d have married him in the Gardens of Versailles if that’s what it took. (Thank fuck that hadn’t been required though. What a nightmare that would’ve been.)

She chuckled with amusement at his next words. “Really? So I should just walk around in my underwear all the time, huh? My leather pants, those sexy short skirts, the corsets and thigh-high boots, totally wasted on you?”

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

Bucky was on his back, Illyana on top of him, pinning him to the bed. She was small but there was a determination in her eyes that was almost intimidating. Almost. Bucky knew her too well to be intimidated by her. He did like this though. The fire in her eyes, the strength she’d acquired it was enticing, sexy. She had managed to not only distract the Winter Soldier but to use that to her advantage and take a position of power over him.

“I’m already incapacitated. Now the question is, what you’re planning to do with that. Because if you let me go, fight’s not over.”

A part of Illyana really, really wanted to lean down and just kiss the hell out of her husband, to give into her desires and rub herself against him, see if he still wanted her as badly as she wanted him. Admittedly, she’d been a little nervous that he’d find her less beautiful now that her body was more fierce. She still had a lovely, round ass and perky breasts, but the soft curves had been replaced by lean muscle and definition. It wasn’t traditionally feminine and the thought had festered in the back of her mind, even if she ignored it as best she could. But she was relieved to see the attraction was still clearly mutual. Why are you relieved? You’re not going to do anything about it, remember? Oh. Yeah. Right. The plan. Stick to the plan.

Illyana had never been all that great at sticking to plans, though.

Even still, she somehow managed to ignore her desires. For the most part. With a teasing smirk, she settled down against him, lounging on top of him like she didn’t have a care in the world. (Like her heartbeat didn’t pick up in speed at the gesture.) “I dunno. You’re kinda comfy. Maybe I’ll take a nap now that you’re at my mercy,” she said, flashing him a wink.

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

jamesbarnestws

It wasn’t the first time Bucky’s arm had been blown off. He’d had accidents before, on missions but back then he didn’t care. He couldn’t care. He was just a weapon and they were mechanics. He wasn’t a weapon anymore and Illyana wasn’t a mechanic. It was awkward for him, embarrassing even. But if she wanted to help, he’d let her. Having someone treat the arm (or what was left of it) with care might do him more harm than good.

Bucky made his way to the bathroom, still familiar with the floorplan of the house. He begins to undress, prying his dirty clothes off his body and tossing them on the floor. Once he was there in nothing more than his underwear, he takes a good look in the mirror. There were minor cuts and bruises all over his body. Then he turns to the side and looks at the arm. He frowns. He’d have to get used to this. He didn’t know anyone that knew how to work with this tech. Steve did but approaching Steve wouldn’t do either of them any favors.

Hearing Illyana’s footsteps as she approached the bathroom, he ran a hand through his hair and tried to look less frustrated than he was. “Can I ask you something?”

Illyana was very careful to keep her expression neutral when she first saw Bucky standing in the bathroom in nothing but his underwear. Normally, she’d be fighting to keep the desire from her eyes. But in that moment, she was fighting off anger and sorrow. She was fucking pissed at Stark and knew in that moment she’d never quite be able to forgive him. And she was sad that Bucky had been forced to suffer yet again. She didn’t pity him — but she wished with every fiber of her being that the universe could just stop. Let the man have a fucking break. For the rest of his life. Wasn’t seventy years of pain enough for a thousand lifetimes?

Setting down the saran wrap and gauze, Illyana offered her… well… she didn’t know exactly what they were to each other anymore. But she offered Bucky a muted, but encouraging smile. “Of course. You can ask me anything you want.”

[classysassyandalotbadassy]

Illyana felt a tug on her apron and looked down to see Grant’s gap-toothed grin beaming up at her. “Uppies, Mama?” Putting down the cupcakes she’d been working on, Illyana couldn’t help but smile back at her son and lifted him into her arms without hesitation. The work could wait. She was almost done anyway. Shuri teased her for indulging Grant far too much, but Illyana couldn’t help it. His birth had been hard on all of them — riddled with complications that had left her life and Grant’s hanging in the balance. The months after hadn’t been a walk in the park either. But now? Grant was the least difficult child she’d ever known, sweet and eager to please. Not that Betty was difficult — Illyana wouldn’t change her for the world. But she’d been independent and precocious from an early age, always wanting to run ahead and explore, heedless of danger as only a child could be. She had an adventurous spirit and Illyana adored her for it — even if sometimes she thought it might give her a heart attack.

But Grant was more reserved, shy around strangers, but adorably affectionate within their family. And, just like Betty was a total Daddy’s Girl in the cutest of ways (Illyana’s heart still melted whenever she saw father and daughter curled together on the couch), Grant was very much a Mama’s Boy. He rested his head in the crook of her neck and settled happily. “Do you know what today is, мое маленькое солнце?”

Grant’s head shot up as her words jogged his toddler memory and his eyes lit up with excitement. “My birfday!”

Illyana smiled and nodded, pressing a kiss to the tip of his adorable nose. “That’s right. And that means that we can do anything you want today.”

Grant’s eyes went wide. “Anyfing?” At her nod, little Patrick Grant Barnes began bouncing up and down excitedly. “Park, park, park!” He exclaimed and Illyana couldn’t help but laugh. He didn’t mean the park by their home. He meant his favorite place in all of New York City. And as Illyana heard footsteps behind them, she didn’t have to turn to know it was Betty and Bucky.

“You two up for a day at Coney Island?” Grant couldn’t ride most of the attractions yet, but he loved the atmosphere, the food, and watching his superhero father win every game his kids begged him to play.

@jamesbarnestws