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[cleanbobby-blog]

A dying addiction

It has been a year since my significant other passed on. It was an overdose that tragically took her life. Not a day went by throughout the whole year that I didn't think of her. On the anniversary of her death I wasn't all that sad. I choose to look at it as a blessing. I could have very well of been the one who lost their life but I wasn't. I was given the ability to live and learn. That's what I have chosen to do. I love and miss her dearly but I have come to peace with the fact that it was her time. I also let my addiction go with her.

[cleanbobby-blog]

Another week

Another week clean. I would like keep this going. My pattern is to stay productive and sober for a few months then out of no where I will be triggered by some underlining emotion. I have become conscience of the triggers and aware as they come up for the most part. I am able to process the emotions and stay sober but as time goes on the cravings become overwhelming. Eventually my thoughts will somehow rationalize with the cravings. Making myself believe I can use once and stop. But this is never the case. It always starts slow then before I know it I'm a daily user and broke. That isn't how I would like to live. I will chose a different path from that of my father. Now, today, I chose to sit down and type this instead of using. I realize I truly have no control when comes to using. It isn't in my power to use only once and stop. 

[cleanbobby-blog]

Keep it clean

Hello my name is Bobby D. But friends and family call me B.J. I'm an addict and created this blog to basically share my experience through addiction. How it's been a part of my life since I was a kid and how it's still part of my life today. I'm hoping for this to be an outlet for me to share, help, and stay clean. I'm aware there is A.A. and N.A. programs but honestly they don't work for me. Anyways whoever reads this, thank you for taking the time. I hope to reach similar people and help whoever I can, if sharing my experience helps them. If not then oh well, it'll just serve the purpose of a journal.