I am once again thinking about Walton's objectifiation of Victor and how regardless of the kindness and good intentions he showed he still didn't treat him like a person
because how can you really have the deepest human empathy and genuine love for someone, while seeing them absolutely heartbroken and losing the last grasp on the will to live, in despair over losing every single meaningful thing they'd ever had—and as they cry in front of you in the most vulnerable and tormented shape you've ever seen another person sink to, you think of how noble and divine and beautiful they are
he couldn't have been in love with Victor
there's not really a way to truly love someone you've literally just met, you can have a spark of attraction, an interest, a connection; you can get along and take the first steps of learning about each other and realize that you do want to develop the relationship further; depending on the person and personalities you can even have a mutual affection, but how can you actually be in love with someone you don't know?
it's not being in love with the person—it's being smitten with the idea of them, and in love with the picture of them you've painted in your own head, completely divorced from the real living breathing multifaceted person
and Walton (subconsciously) didn't allow himself the opportunity to see Victor as that layered multidimensional person that he could grow with and learn how to best love. he was just as much at fault as Victor for the distance between them that couldn't be bridged. Victor may have rejected Walton's offers of help and company in starting his life over—he put distance between "friend" and "soulmate"
but Walton practically put all the miles between the dirt and the seventh heaven between them. he lifted Victor from a lonely death in the ice, but higher and higher too, until he was more of an idol than a person, until Walton could just watch from the ground and admire and yearn after all that knowledge and beauty and mystery that he can never obtain, never conquer, because he put it out of his own reach. and when Victor made those small steps closer to connect to Walton, Walton deferred further to kneel even lower, insisting on his inferiority, his subpar education/intelligence, his faults, his desperate need for someone far greater to patiently guide and direct his life for him
there could never be a middle ground because Walton wouldn't let himself think of Victor being on that level with him. he talked about how he always wanted to be with a man whose eyes could reply to his but he couldn't even allow themselves to be on equal footing to look him in the eye at all
