Meet Beme, the Shitty Snapchat Ripoff
The shitiest social networking app of the year was released yesterday.
Beme is a new photo and video sharing application that is similar to Snapchat but so, so much more awful.
The app was developed by a team of hipsters in Starbucks Coffee shops in Camigornia somewhere. Casey Neistat, head hipster, is heading operations at Beme.
This project should not some as a surpruse for fans of Neistat. Neistat has been publishing countless thought proviking films on YouTube for five years. My favorite is when he compares life to walking down the wrong moving sidewalk at at an airport like a dumbass.
The promotional video is shit. The first 30 seconds of the video are a close-up of him lecturing to us about what he thinks social media is about.
Neistat says social media doesn’t portray who we are acurately. “Okay. I’m listening,” I thought. “I’m up for something new.”
He complainans that when you want to share something cool you see, it’s too fucking convenient to hold the phone in front of you, look at the screen, frame it and take the picture. There has got to be a better way!
This way makes goo much sense! Don’t worry everyone, cool uncle Casey has the solution.
What if I told you you could share pictures with your friends that only last for a few second and they are “deleted” after they are viewed. Sounds like Snapchat, right?
But it’s not Snapchat, remember? It’s shittier. Instead, Beme uses your phone’s proximity sensor as the record button.
How do you take a picture? Hold it up to your boobs or man-tits and hope for the best.
Beme has no preview, review or ability to actually fucking see what the picture look like; you have to eyeball it and hope you didn’t take a Shitty picture.
Want to take a selfie? Hold your phone against the wall like a retard and, again, hope for the best.
Want to send feeback? Sorry bud, there’s no real way of sending meaningful feedback. However, you can selfies of your dumb face while you watch your friends “bemes” for “the first time and the last time.”
To accomplish this “real-time selfie.” Wiggle your finger and tap on the screen like a moron. It’s great.
Beme aims to remove the “self-awareness” and “self-conscious” from sharing content with your friends.
When using Beme, you will have no idea what they fuck you’re actually sharing and nobody will care because they don’t want to see the world from the point of view of your nipples.
My motto for Beme: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
