Summary; Getting away on some shore leave to visit for your big art gallery reveal, Fives comes home finding out everything isn't okay. Warning; Medical; Vertigo.
You’re standing in front of your canvas, paintbrush in hand, when it hits. The floor tilts beneath you, a wave of dizziness sweeping across your body. You blink, but it doesn’t go away. The room blurs. The sharp edges of your studio, the corners of the furniture, and the neatly arranged shelves of supplies all bend and distort like a warped reflection in a puddle.
You gasp, your stomach lurching with the unease. It’s the second time this week.
You try to steady yourself, but the brush in your hand feels too heavy, too unbalanced. Your fingers tremble as you reach for the stool behind you, but it’s too far, and you stumble. The world spins faster now, spinning like a carousel that won’t stop.
A sharp, steady voice cuts through the haze.
“Hey.”
You don’t want to turn, don’t want to admit it’s happening again, but you do. Your partner, Fives, is standing in the doorway of your studio, his gaze fixed on you with an unsettling mix of concern and confusion.
“I’m fine,” you mutter, struggling to regain your balance. You swallow hard, willing the dizziness to pass.
He doesn’t move. Instead, his eyes narrow. “You sure about that?”
You nod, though the motion feels unnatural, like you might slip away if you move too fast. He crosses the room in three quick strides and crouches in front of you, his fingers gently but firmly pressing against your shoulders.
“You’ve been saying that a lot lately,” Fives observes, his voice calm, but with an edge you don’t like.
You glance at the canvas, the half-finished strokes of paint—your life’s work—blurring before your eyes. You want to focus on it. You want to lose yourself in the colors, in the brushstrokes. But right now, all you can focus on is the ground beneath you, the sensation that you’re falling without moving.
“I’m fine,” you repeat, though the words sound less convincing this time.
Fives’s hand moves from your shoulder to your wrist, his fingers lightly brushing against your pulse. Too fast. Too erratic. He frowns, his gaze flicking to the door where your phone lies, always nearby, always in reach.
“We need to get you checked out,” he says.
You shake your head. “I’ve been to the doctor. It’s nothing.”
“Then why does it keep happening?” he presses, his voice a little more urgent.
The question hangs in the air, pressing against you like the weight of the paint you can’t seem to shake from your skin.
“I don’t know.” You want to lie again. You want to tell him it’s just stress, or maybe the weather. Maybe it’s nothing. But you can’t. The dizziness is starting to settle, but the unease lingers, curling deep in your stomach. This time, it feels different. This time, it doesn’t go away as quickly.
Fives’s hand stays steady on your wrist, grounding you, but the fear in his eyes grows. You don’t want to see it, but you can’t look away. You’re scared too, but you can’t let him see it.
“I’ll be fine,” you say again, but this time, it’s more of a plea than a statement.
But Fives isn’t convinced.
The dizziness comes again, but this time it feels different. At first, you think you can push through it. You’ve done this before, haven’t you? You just need a moment, a deep breath, and you’ll steady yourself. But it doesn’t go away this time. It holds on, tighter.
You blink a few times, trying to clear your vision, but everything in the room bends, as though you’re trapped in a painting where the brushstrokes refuse to stay still. The edges of your studio stretch and warp, the corners of the furniture shifting out of place.
Your knees tremble. You take a small step forward, only to feel the world tip to the side. The floor feels like it’s made of soft rubber, and the walls around you lean in as if closing in on you.
Your hand reaches for something stable—a chair, the edge of the desk, anything—but the room moves too quickly. You stagger. This isn’t just dizziness. This is something more. You’re losing control of your body.
"Hey."
Fives' voice is there again, cutting through the fog in your mind. He’s standing at the doorway, but his image flickers. You can’t quite focus on him, but you know his voice.
“Don’t,” you say, but it sounds weak even to your own ears. “I’m fine.”
Your legs give way beneath you, and the dizziness spins faster, making the room swirl into a dizzying carousel. You collapse to the floor, your body shaking as you try to sit up. Your breath is shallow, but you struggle to steady it, trying to regain some semblance of control.
Fives is at your side in an instant, kneeling next to you, his hand reaching for your shoulder. His touch is gentle, but his grip is firm—he’s grounding you, trying to pull you out of the spiral. You can hear the worry in his voice, even if the words blur.
“You’re not fine,” he says, his voice low and urgent. His eyes—those deep, searching eyes—meet yours, and you see that this time, he isn’t just concerned. He’s afraid.
“No,” you protest, shaking your head slightly as if denying the truth could make it go away. “It’s just a moment. It’ll pass.”
But it doesn’t pass.
You don’t know how long you’re sitting there, lost in the haze of vertigo. Your vision flickers again, the world tipping and swaying, the faintest echo of dizziness still pulling at the edges of your mind. The sensation is lingering now, like a shadow that won’t leave.
Fives doesn’t say anything more. His fingers remain on your shoulder, light but insistent. His presence is like a tether to reality, and as much as you want to pretend everything is fine, there’s no denying it anymore. This isn’t just a fluke. This isn’t temporary. You can feel the edge of something you can’t control.
“I need help,” you whisper, your voice small and vulnerable in a way you haven’t allowed it to be in a long time. You know Fives won’t push you, but you’re still reluctant to admit it out loud.
Fives exhales sharply, his face softening with concern. “I’m not leaving you. I’ll take care of this. We’re going to figure it out.”
His words are simple, but they feel like an anchor, and you cling to them. You hate how weak you feel, but you can’t deny the truth any longer. Your body is betraying you, and it’s scaring you more than you want to admit. You need help. You need mobility, you need to keep moving, but the vertigo is making it impossible.
“You don’t have to do it alone,” Fives adds, his voice steady. “I’ll help you.”
Your hand finds his, a small but desperate gesture. There’s no point in pretending anymore. The world feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, and you can’t hold on much longer without him.
You sit in medbay, the sterile white walls making everything feel too bright, too still. The med droidspeaks to you in calm, measured tones, explaining what might be happening, but the words blur just as much as the room. You’re numb, detached from it all.
The diagnosis comes—a simple word, one you hadn’t expected: vertigo. It’s a condition that’s manageable, the doctor assures you, but not without challenges. The cause is unknown—there’s no definitive reason for it. It’s just… happening.
You nod, feeling the weight of the diagnosis settle over you. It’s not life-threatening. It’s not permanent. But it’s disruptive.
Fives is by your side the whole time, his hand resting lightly on your back. You can’t help but notice the way he watches you—like he’s trying to piece together a puzzle that doesn’t quite fit. You want to tell him everything is fine, but you can’t.
When you get home, Fives helps you sit in front of your easel. He doesn’t pressure you to paint. He doesn’t tell you to keep going, even though you want to. He just waits with you, patiently.
You glance at the canvas, the half-painted strokes that once brought you joy now seeming distant, unreachable. The dizziness makes it hard to focus, but something shifts in you. Maybe it’s the acceptance, the realization that you have to adjust. The way forward won’t be the same.
“I think it’s time to change how I paint,” you say softly, more to yourself than to him.
Fives smiles, a small but understanding smile. “We’ll figure it out.”
The days following the diagnosis are a blur of adjustments. You’re not sure how to feel about the vertigo anymore—it’s no longer a monster lurking in the shadows, but something you’ve learned to coexist with, even if uneasily.
At first, you resist the idea of changing your art. You’re stubborn, unwilling to let the dizziness define your work. But gradually, you realize you can’t fight it forever. The way your hand wavers when you hold the brush is no longer a source of frustration. Instead, you start to embrace it.
You experiment with new techniques. You let the brush fall where it may, allowing the colors to swirl and bleed in unexpected ways. The dizziness doesn’t disappear, but you begin to channel it—transforming the chaotic blur of the world into something vibrant, something personal. Each brushstroke becomes a way of expressing what you can’t quite explain in words.
At first, it feels awkward, like walking on uneven ground. The motion is unsettling, disorienting. But over time, the shift becomes a part of the process. The uncertainty becomes a style. You learn that sometimes, it’s not about the precision of your strokes, but the emotion they convey. The imperfection becomes the art.
Fives watches you with quiet admiration, never pushing you, but always there when you need him. His presence is a steady anchor when the room feels like it’s shifting beneath you. There are moments when he offers subtle suggestions—shifting the canvas a little, mixing the colors just so—but he never takes control. It’s your work. Your voice. He just helps you find it again, in a new way.
As the days pass, you start to feel a shift in yourself. The vertigo isn’t gone, but you’ve learned to work with it, not against it. The world still spins in unpredictable ways, but you find a strange beauty in it now, in the unpredictability of life, of creation.
The exhibition arrives, and your piece is ready. It’s different from anything you’ve done before—loose, chaotic, almost unfinished. The lines are blurred, the colors almost bleeding into each other, as if the paint itself is in motion. But it’s you. It’s raw, honest, and perfectly imperfect.
You stand in front of it, watching the reactions of the crowd. Some people stop, their eyes lingering on the piece, as if trying to make sense of it. Others glance at it and move on, but you don’t mind. You’re no longer looking for approval. This is your story, your art, and the vertigo—however unsettling it might be—has led you here.
Fives is by your side, his hand resting on your shoulder. You glance at him, meeting his eyes. He gives you a small, encouraging smile, one that reassures you that you don’t have to explain yourself anymore.
“This is perfect,” he says softly, and in that moment, you realize it’s true.
The world might still be spinning, but you’ve learned how to hold onto it, how to paint within the blur. The vertigo doesn’t define you anymore. You do.
And you’ve found beauty in spinning hues of color.
Warning: Cannon typical violence, Order 66, Pinning, former established relationship, emotional turmoil, smut piv, mention of wounds, mention of mount taniss, Crosshair’s depression, Crosshair’s head wound, Flashbacks, experimentation mention.
Word Count: 7.9k
Master list - part I - part II - part III
The dawn had never looked more like the dead of night, reminding Crosshair of the emptiness within laced with a fresh wave of guilt that he knew would never fade into the shadows especially in the darkness light. He hovered next to your unconscious body, how soft and innocent your face looked while you were asleep reminding him of the monster he is; that was enough to make his step falter for a moment. It wasn't suppose to go like this, I was suppose to prove you belong with me. He gnawed on a toothpick trying to keep the rage from watching his features but it didn't go un-noticed by Admiral Rampart.
"I know we spoke about coming tonight but we couldn't risk you and the asset falling back into enemy hands or her getting wind of it and leaving," Rampart stated, or for you to have a sudden change of heart.
"Understood, sir," he tried to say as flatly as possible.
"Unfortunately you can't accompany her to the facility, but you will be there when she wakes up. She will most valuable to us," a way to control you if you step out of line, Rampart mentally added, "and to you."
Crosshair watched as you was taken to another smaller ship, his stomach twisting at what he'd done. He didn't dare each out to touch you one last time before what ever procedure they had planned even though marks of his littered your body plain as day for all to see. He scolded himself for such a visual display of weakness for his affection knowing the empire did not take kindly to such weaknesses. Why couldn't you just say you were coming with us of your own free will? ...with me. Crosshair let out a silent sharp exhale as he walked into the ship taking his place watching the other ship take off into the unknown. Weakness, his brain screamed, but it will be better this way, us together again for the betterment of the galaxy. He discarded the cracked toothpick in his mouth, replacing it with another one to work away his silent frustration.
The rest of the flight back to base was silent, leaving Crosshair alone with his thoughts without the idle chatter of a mission and planning. No longer than he had you, he lost you for however long the procedure would take; it took all of his will power not to lean his head against the wall and stare into nothingness as the emptiness within slowly returned. Fresh images of you flooded his mind causing his toothpick to snap. He quickly put on his helmet to hide the sneer tugging at his mouth. How long until I see you again? Will you still be you? Will I still be me? Will I be Crosshair to you? Were you right; is he gone?
White. White walls, white floors, white clothing. White. The facility was obsessively sterile white top to bottom. Laying on your bunk you stared at the ceiling, without so much as speckling to create the smallest of images. Turning to face the wall you tucked your arm under your head. It was as close to privacy you could have here but it let your eyes shut trying to avoid thinking about the next round of 'treatment' slowly cutting bits of you away. No matter how much you repeated your life story and sequence of events, names and places it was all growing into a distant nearly forgotten memory. Doctor Hemlock had been intrigued by your resistance to the procedure slowly becoming his lab rat. Your ears heard his familiar step pattern approaching, reluctantly you sat up and faced him crossing your arms in unreal defiance knowing if you defied him it would be a day of pain.
"Come along," he sighed watching you scramble to your feet offering an eerie smile at your compliance, "While your mind is not perfectly clear, I think any more treatments will not be necessary for the next phase in your rehabilitation."
"Next phase?" you asked trying to hide the fear in your voice as your temples throbbed thinking about the 'treatment.'
"We're going to test if a regular mind can be implanted with an inhibitor chip, the clones are implanted young however we have yet to test if they work on non-clones. If you survive... you'll get to see him again."
Your heart felt like it had physically stopped, maybe it had. Him. You couldn't remember his name, time to time you remember the outline of his face and his piercing gaze but it always quickly faded, "Who... is he?" you asked already trying to steady the shake in your hand revealing you were more empty minded then you ever let on which didn't go un-noticed by Doctor Hemlock who gave an side eye glance.
"Your commander," was all he offered keeping this revelation to himself, "Does the name Crosshair? Sound familiar"
Speckled silver flashed across your mind followed by wonderful shades of brown and then an intimidating black silhouette in a tree, "Yes."
"You might have been useless getting substantial information about Clone Force 99, however your mind has revealed important about the procedure. I suppose it's time for a reward."
"A reward?" you knew him well enough it wasn't going to be able anything good, the man's name synonymous with pain. You watched Hemlock take out something from his pocket two holo imagines showing. The same man, silver hair and then bald with scaring. Your head started hurting trying to remember but nothing came, "That's.. Crosshair?" you asked questioningly still staring at it before he switched it off.
"Yes," Hemlock said smiling, "You'll be.. reunited with him soon enough," he said ushering you into the medical bay.
"What are we going to do?" Echo grumbled replaying the message again, it had been weeks and not a single whisper of your whereabouts anywhere. He knew that was meant something horrible had gone down.
"Per her instruction, we are to assume and proceed as if she is dead and bury the photos back on Corellia," Tech said flatly.
"We have to go after her!" Omega insisted, "We just have to keep searching!"
"Hate to say it but the kids right," Wrecker added, "Regardless of what we wanted she would come after us."
Hunter's hand curled into a fist trying to quell the anger boiling up, "We are to assume Crosshair killed her and forgive him, that's the last thing she told me."
"What!" Echo snapped staring at him, the rage in his blood boiling as he teeth clenched together.
"Crosshair wouldn't, would he?" Omega asked quietly.
"I... do not know anymore," Tech sighed, "since his time with the Empire I am no longer sure of the man he is; but he is still our brother. I do not believe he would or could be possible of harming her however I... also have to assume he followed orders."
"Then we just have to find Crosshair," Omega pointed out.
"He's too dangerous, especially now if he..." Hunter said hesitating too finish the remark, lost his last sliver of a heart, "We have to keep you safe from the Empire, that's what she wanted. I'm sorry Omega but we can't go after her."
"Can't or won't?" Echo said bitterly standing up, "We don't leave our own behind," he said before heading to his bunk to think, debating if he wanted to reach out to Captain Rex or if he just wanted to go by himself to find answers. Hunter is right, we all can't go and leave Omega unprotected but I'm an ARC, this is what I do. Echo took an annoyed breath finding the presence of Wrecker staring at him in his own bunk. "What?" Echo grumbled.
"You're thinking about finding her yourself aren't you?" the giant asked.
"She's was family to you all long before I joined this squad, we should be going after her."
"Ya got a point," Wrecker huffed, "What about the kid?"
"I'll go alone, Rex didn't give up on me; I can't give up on her. Who knows what the Empire is doing to her."
"Just think it through," Wrecker wasn't a planning guy, he rushed rushed in head first but even he knew for this not even he could do that and win.
"Thanks, Wrecking Ball," Echo gave a short laugh before looking down at his scomp hoping you hadn't met a similar fate or worse.
"He does have a point," Tech pointed out raising his finger to emphasize it.
"I know... Tech, I know," Hunter muttered defeatedly listening to the conversation playing out in the bunk room, "I have to choose between saving her or risking the lives of everyone in this squad."
"And Crosshair's, we don't know if she is dead or alive, or a hostage being used against him," Tech added, "They are partners, where we find one we will more then likely find the other if she is alive. If we could just find him in the field-."
"Stow it, Tech," Hunter murmured, "We have to think this through thoroughly account for every angle," he whispered, "for Omega's sake."
White, vibrant bright white. In the distance you think you heard screaming; a part of you curling up in to a ball trying to hold onto something but it didn't last long against the flooding sensation of sterile white. You stopped registering the growing pain with the amount of sedation that coursed through your blood. The part of you which desperately tried to hold your mind together fading into depthless black. Have to remember... them.
Hemlock watch as your thrashing stilled, smiling clasping his hands behind his back before asking about your stabilizing vitals, "Excellent, prepare her for transport."
"Doctor, we don't know if the procedure was successful," Emory countered.
"Prepare the asset for transportation, if it was a failure we terminate the experiment and try again," he repeated annoyed.
Crosshair was brought to medical facility in a unmarked ship, it had been weeks without a whisper of your name and he had started to assume the worse unexpected when a file was handed to him to read. Project Belladona, Rampart had called it. Curious. Upon entering the room he found a Reg sitting stiffly. Commander Neyo. Crosshair didn't sit, annoyed at the intrusion of this reunion. Patiently he waited against the wall until your sleeping body was brought in. His eyes didn't leave you, watching every raise and fall of your chest slowly relaxing with every breath that you were still alive and lived through whatever had been done.
"The Doctor will not be joining us," Emory said injecting adrenaline into the iv, "She should wake momentarily. Her memory however is... distorted. You've both have read the briefing. We don't know what or when she will remember."
Crosshair's reservations broke as he pried himself off the wall moving to your side as he saw your body trying to wake, placing his fingers inches from yours as he waited staring down hoping to be the first thing you saw upon waking. His fingers inched closer almost breaking the gap when you shot forward clutching the side of your head. Crosshair watched at you looked down finding his hand then up at him before looking towards Neyo. No recognition, nothing. Nothing, just like me.
"Commander! How long was I out?" You asked looking towards Commander Neyo.
"Lay back down, lieutenant" Neyo said nodding towards the bed, "Do you remember Commander Crosshair?"
You looked at the man, deep brown eyes, sharp nose, high cheek bones, full eyebrows and a prominent cupid's bow and jaw line, "No, Sir. Apologies Commander."
Crosshair pulled his hand away as if a rapid animal had struck him, "With time will her memory return?" He asked flatly looking to the unknown woman fighting the crumpling sensation in his chest.
"Possibly, we don't know for sure. I must go update the doctor on her condition," Emory stated with a small nod exiting the room.
"Glad to see you've awakened. I wish the best for your recovery," Neyo said eyeing Crosshair suspiciously before he exited as well.
Crosshair's eyes were fixated on you, nothing but your mind seemed out of place no fresh scars that he could perceive except there it was... a dull haze in your eyes; life-like but more to the appearance of a wax figure rather then a living person. He stuck a fresh toothpick in his mouth trying to regain any semblance of composure, "What do you remember?" His stomach twisting in preparation for the answer
"I don't really remember much," you said blinking before staring at him, "You're familiar but I can't say if I ever knew you personally."
"We've been together for a long time," Crosshair said open endedly, "At least your awake."
"How long has it been?"
"40 rotations."
A month, you have been out a little over a month. You tried sitting back up but you felt his firm touch push you back down, "I'm fine," you tried again but his touch was even firmer this time. There was an intensity in the grip you didn't understand but it was threatening but caring wasn't the correct word either.
"Not til the Doctor releases you."
"You don't need to baby me, Commander."
"You'd like me spoon feeding you" He quipped, "To you, it's just Crosshair," he added.
"I am certain that goes against regulations," you started.
"We've always been a little against regulations," he finally sat back in the chair the room provided. Examining the faint haze in your eyes, he wondered if it was the procedure or from the sedation but he wasn't that lucky. The lack of recognition in yours eyes made him feel even more insignificant in the vastness of the galaxy. All the time together, gone. Just like with his brother. A lifetime erased. His fingers brushed against the pocket concealed under his armor hiding the photo Hunter had given you. For a moment he was tempted to pull it out and show you but for now he could continue to save what little was left of his heart.
"When you meant we've been together for a while...?" he watched your eyes shift to the door then back to him.
"We've been together for a while," he restated with a small smirk watching you roll your eyes at him. At least her observational skills are still intact. "How's your head?"
"Hurts, but its tolerable. If we've been together why was Commander Neyo here?"
"Good question," Crosshair arched an eyebrow seeing him in the hall wall still talking to the lady, "Doesn't matter. You're where you belong."
"With you?"
"Yes."
You stared at him, his demeanor, his voice, the void in his eyes it all seemed to familiar but no memory came forward. White. You looked around the room, it seemed familiar at least the shade of vibrancy did. You blinked remembering one tiny memory of being strapped to a bed in a room like this and that was enough to make your heart start zooming. You flew up, hearing your heart monitor ding and twisting his arm out of the way as he tried to push you back down, "No, please," you whispered. You saw him narrow his eyes and eyebrows furl together for a moment before it soothed back into a neutral expression.
"Remember something?" he whispered.
"I don't like white rooms."
Crosshair gave a curt nod, she remembered something about the facility before me, kark it. The corner of his eye caught Neyo's back walking away and the lady reproaching. He eyed every movement as she checked over her vitals and scanned her head. Crosshair's fingers gripped the arm of his chair but stayed silent as he saw the tiny implanted chip on her screen. Fury starting boiling in his blood, he knew that's what took so long trying to see if she would survive. She wasn't some clone, nat borns weren't designed for that.
"She's free to go, the doctor will come check up on her on a later date," Emory said unplugging her connections to the various machines.
Crosshair held out his hand helping you to your feet, "Crosshair, a moment?" the lady said tilting her head to the side. He dropped your hand and walked over barely keeping his composure.
"What."
"Take this, it's to monitor her implant for any complications. If this meter drops belong half press that button and we'll be on our way to.. retrieve her."
More than likely terminate her, "Understood," Crosshair spun on his heel tucking the monitor into his utility belt quickly returning to your side, "Let's go," he said quickly wanting to get you out of that disgusting situation. Stirring you through the halls back to the awaiting ship, he was granted small relief as the door shut behind him. He gave the order to the pilot to take off immediately before taking a seat watching as you sit across from him. Putting a fresh toothpick in, "Now, what did you remember?"
"I'll tell you when I figure it out. Is that my weapon kit?" You asked looking at the long carry crate on the floor.
"Ours. Your armor replacement is in that crate," he said nodding his chin towards a box in the corner he hadn't bothered to look through.
You got up surprised at how easy walking the across the ship had been with the mild turbulence. Your fingers hovered at the lock wondering the type of person you were, is it too going to be white? Opening it you found black on dark grey on deepest shade of red camo pattern scattered across it. Muscle memory quickly equipped it into place. Tucking your helmet under your arm you found him staring at you, annoyance lacing his features with a sneer plastered across his face. You looked down at the armor then back up at him, "Did I put something on crooked?" you asked confused.
"No."
"Then what's that look for? Or is just your face?" you said arching an eyebrow.
"It's the colors on our disbanded unit. Paint it black when we get back to base." It felt like a slap in the face, just another silent taunt by the Empire which he diligently served.
"Yes, Sir," you said shuffling back into your seat.
"You don't need to-."
"Regulations."
"Then you're really going to hate it when we get to the base," Crosshair snickered his mood lightly lifting at the approaching realization.
"Sir?"
"You'll see," he smiled folding his arms over his chest.
You stared down into the visor of the helmet, looking over the colors causing words to tickle the tip of your tongue but nothing came. Your mind felt as empty as the color of the hospital. Sighing you set the helmet on the seat next to you. Itching the side of your head you found Crosshair staring at you intensely, quickly you dropped your hand to your lap feeling like a scolded child for some reason under his gaze. Instead you opened the weapon kit on the floor finding two blaster rifles, one well used and one brand new. The rifle whispered to you, calling you to use it against them. The traitors. You stared at it blinking before you shut the case pushing it away. The side of your head pulsed once more before fading. Arriving at the base their was one no to greet either of you which you had anticipated. Passing eyes stared at both of you as moved through the barracks heading towards a room at the very end of the hall. You watched Crosshair pull out a card and slip it into the slot, the door sliding opening. You followed him in finding spotless quarters, everything perfectly aligned but eyes going wide noting the two beds a few spaces apart.
"Why is everything of mine new?" you questioned eyeing your armor, the weapon, the bed, even the obvious new clothes in the small closet.
"Regulations," he shrugged, "We should run a battle simulation to see what you remember."
"Now?" you arched an eyebrow.
"I obviously meant yesterday," he quipped placing his hand on his hip letting his other hand set the weapon kit on the bed opening it. He stared at you as your hands assembled it faster then they had in the past even rivaling his own practiced speed. Hearing your quietly foot steps following him, he guided both of you to a training room away from prying eyes. He saw the cold expression on your face before slipping on your bucket. I suppose that's the chips influence. Wonder if that's what I had looked like before battle. Crosshair quickly tapped in the authorization for the drill and snapped quick orders watching you follow them to the letter. In his observational perch he watched you tenaciously defeat the combatant droids. He didn't make a sound as he hoped out of the shadows on to the ground as the simulation ended, "Remove your helmet," no sooner had the words came out of his mouth did he see you taking it off and folding it into the crook of your room. There was still the void expression across your face, empty. He made a hmm noise sticking a toothpick back in his mouth, "That's enough for today," he watched a sliver of you return to your gaze before stalking out of the room.
Watching his hand move you caught the key card he tossing the spare in your direction. You turned it over in your hand before slipping it into your pocket, "Was my performance satisfactory?" you asked looking at him finding him lost in thought. You didn't bother to ask again at his silence. Seems like the type of man who would have said something if it wasn't. Finally he looked at you with a scrutinizing expression but still didn't say a word. You were getting really pissed by the expression without explanation.
"Commander-."
"Crosshair," he growled, "Yes?" he asked softer.
"When can I go back to hunting them down?"
"Who?" Crosshair said squinting.
"Clone Force 99," the name on the tip of your tongue finally blared in your head echoing through out your body, "Our... old unit," throbbing knocked on indelicately against your temples. Fingers traced the side of your head, you found Crosshair's thumb running along side the throbbing part of your mind with an unrecognizable expression across it. "What is it?" you asked arching an eyebrow noticing the touch relaxed the flutter in your hollow chest.
"Nothing," he said pulling his hand away, fingers plucking the toothpick out of his mouth and flicking it away.
"When do I get to see the rest of our squad."
"They died rescuing you," the lie came easily as he had perfected it waiting for your arrival, the perfect cover story the empire had carefully planned. The shadow of the truth laced with a hint an echos betrayal. "We're on standby." Crosshair felt the tingle in his hand from the touch even through the glove of your warmth. His lip twitched into a frown stopping his abrupt walking, "Get changed," before he turned back into the direction of the barracks.
"Sir?"
"We're going out."
You followed him back to the room gluing your eyes to the floor as you heard his armor click to the floor. Out of the corner of your eye you saw his back was still towards you but his head was tilted to the side smirking before digging out civvies. Finding the dresser you opened it stacking your armor on the top putting on the first thing you saw. Your eyes caught silver in his drawer, you moved towards it and grabbed it without hesitation holding the soft fabric in your hands. Inhaling the scent it seemed so familiar, "Crosshair," you whispered. Pulling it away from your face, a small image of a store popped in your mind, "I picked this out."
"You did," he affirmed eyeing you, "Reminded you of my hair," he gave a small curt laugh running his hand across his scalp before grabbing the scarf wrapping it around him neck, letting out a content hmm, "Coming, Cyar'ika?" the endearment slipped out. He gridded his teeth turning away from you.
"Cyar'ika?" you asked catching up to his frame heading towards the door.
"Empty headed."
"I somehow don't think that is what it means," you laughed.
"Wouldn't you like to know" you found his eyes beaming at you a smile tugging at his eyes, "I'll tell you if you remember anything I deem relevant," his smirked nearly caused his tooth pick to fall out. Crosshair watched as you caught up to his side following him to the speeders at the edge of the base. He felt your warm against his back as you climbed on, holding his waist causing him to quickly exhale trying to dispel the memories playing across his vivid mind.
"What planet is this?"
Crosshair cocked his head squinting before returning his eyes to the road, "Corellia."
"Have I been here before?"
"You tell me."
"I don't think so, doesn't sound familiar."
"Hmph," Crosshair gruntled. A special place in your heart, erased. This place and I are alike. His eyes took in the surrounding landscape before taking a sharp turn towards the out-skirted city. He felt your grip tighten at the sudden jolt but hoped it would spark any memory. Using his tongue he flicked the toothpick into air, smirking as he peaked watching it fall into the trash but silently disappointed you couldn't see such a feat with natural eyes. His smirk faded as he remember the last time you saw him, the acceptance of what had happened but the tranquil peace with the other option. The hatred of himself kept him going, a painful motivator to continue because being the monster no one understood what was the one thing he could say he was the absolute best at.
The speeder drifted to into a spot under a tree, you watched him climb up it with ease. You watched him stare into the distance then down at you, "See something you like?" he purred. Suddenly the image of him went black it was just a shadow in the tree. The shadowy images slammed into your mind as you stumbled back, your head threatening to split but in a flash it was gone and he was in front of you grabbing your wrist concern lacing every corner of his features, "Cyar'ika, what is it?"
"Shadows playing tricks, it spooked me," you tried to shrug off.
"A highly trained imperial lieutenant getting spooked?" he said arching an eyebrow, "unlikely."
You pulled your hands away from him, "You don't need to baby me, Commander," you snapped.
"I am looking after my subordinate," he sighed releasing you from his grasp.
You rolled your eyes at the comment. You weren't an idiot you could see it plain as day across his face that there was more to the story, "Are you going to cut the bantha crap and tell me?" you said narrowing your eyes at him.
"It means Darling," he said walking away, "Maybe you need real food."
A single eyebrow arched up but you followed after him contemplating if that was an answer to both questions or just one. While most of his statements had open ended meanings often alluding to more it wandered you if he ever gave direct answers. Taking in the surrounding, you noticed the lack of flora instead finding infrastructure scattered about with gigantic transport ships taking off. Silence clung to both of your voice boxes as you tried to dissect each other for who you were. There was something about him that felt like home but equally something that made every hair on your arm try to stand up, there was something eerie about him threatening to spill over but you couldn't place your finger on it. For as many speeders passed and ships took off the air was still crisp, cold upon entering your nostrils with just a hint of metallic scent lacing it. Somehow you started outpacing him, your feet leading you towards a semi run down building near the back edge of town. Corellian Well Cantina. It didn't ring any bells but somehow your feet knew where he was guiding you. You heard Crosshair make a small hmph noise as he stuck a fresh pick between his lips as he snatched an unused menu from the table behind the two of you. Watching as his slender hand pushed the menu towards you as his long fingers droned against the wood tabletop. Flipping threw the menu to appease him, you let your eyes steal glances over the top of the menu noticing him avoiding you as he took in the rest of the Cantina.
"Not having anything?" you asked nonchalantly putting the menu down notice he hadn't bothered to grab another.
"I order the same thing."
"Doesn't that get boring?"
"I like routines."
"Not very fun or adventurous," you smirked watching him take mild offense to the comment snatching the menu, "Wow maybe you're a little less boring," you teased further with a small laugh.
Crosshair's ears honed in on the beautiful sound, the corner of his mouth upturning that it was still the same. Playfully he took the pick of his mouth and flicked it at you, watching you attempt to swat it away but failing as it landed in your hair. He snatched it in the air as you tried to flick it back at him, "and maybe you're a little less forgetful then you seem," he poked emptily before flagging down the server who's surprised expression didn't go unnoticed as he ordered something new. It didn't surprise him as you ordered the same thing but he didn't say anything, "That sounds good," he offered handing the menu to the server dismissively. Interlacing his fingers, Crosshair made a rest for his chin as he continued to survey the cantina before returning his gaze back to you. "I'm glad you're alive."
"Thank you... Crosshair."
"What are you staring at?" He asked arching an eyebrow.
"Your tattoo."
Cautiously Crosshair leaned forward offering his eye, "Trace it," he tempted.
Your head pulled back in surprised but your finger tips already prickled moving towards the ink embedded flesh. Reflexively your hand found the side of his face, your thumb alone tracing the tattoo. Dark embers danced across his iris as you repeated the motion trying to recall anything but nothing came. You sighed and pulled your hand away watching a disappointed expression bloom across his features, "Sorry," you mumbled.
"You never need to apologize to me," he snapped before exhaling, "It was my fault anyway," he mumbled harshly.
"Sometimes it's hard to make the right decision in war."
"You've spent to much time with Commander Cody," a tiny light bulb went off in Crosshair's head. If I could just find Cody... Stop. You choose this. See it through. Crosshair's com went off opening it he found orders to check out an unscheduled landing. Growling he stood up, "Order's let's move." He watched as you drew two concealed blasters and handed him one. Smirking he took it, "Make that to go," he told the server.
You followed after him at a run as the two of you took off for the speeder. Barely having enough time to wrap your arms around his waist, he started the speeder and both of you were off. Your eyes honed in on the landed ship in the distance, "Them." Still keeping distance Crosshair shut off the bike letting it slide behind cover, he motioned for you to follow and slowly both of you approached the ship. Your eyes narrowed at him noting his weapon wasn't drawn on the traitors, your eyes glued themselves back to the ship skin prickling in anticipation.
"They know we're here," Crosshair whispered looking around finding Hunter in the distance glaring towards him, "Stay close."
However you didn't listen, you had orders. You heard his hiss to stay put but your feet kept moving on their own. The tempo of the drum in your chest kept speeding up until it reached your ears. Tiny movement of shadow in the near distance caught your eye and you moved closer to it finding it to be a person's silhouette. Trigger finger inching as every step made the shadow more defined, Echo.
Your name fell from his lips in shock as you lifted the blaster towards the center of his chest, "You're alive. What are you doing? We have to go."
"You're a traitor to the Empire, you are to be terminated."
Echo's eyes went wide at the statement as the trigger went off but he was already moving. "We have to go," Echo shouted into the com, "Something's wrong." For once his legs stayed under him as he moved putting as much distance as he could between you and him.
"Why is she shooting at us?" Wrecker said running off towards the ship dunking out of the way of the blaster fire.
Hunter heard it, a whisper under Crosshair's breath. Rage boiled in his blood, "The Empire implanted her with a chip." Experimenting on Clone's and now on Nat borns? This was personal to Empire to get us, it had to be. Was Crosshair in on it? His blaster is on stun and he's not genuinely aiming. Maybe not.
"I did not know that was possible," Tech said firing stun shots in your direction providing cover for the others to get onto the ship.
In slow motion, Echo jumped onto the ramp as a shot finally landed on his shoulder as he turned to look at your rushing imagine towards them. No regret or hesitation in your eyes, just per dedication to your assignment. After his time as property of the Techno union, Echo came to learn he could still feel fear... and now it froze him. Wrecker scooped up the Corporal in one arm tossing him into the ship as the ramp started closing. "I'm fine," Echo said peeling his shoulder looking at the tiny graze feeling Omega's well practiced hand already placing a bacta patch on it. He slumped in his seat taking his helmet off, "We have to tell Rex what the Empire is now capable of if they ever get their hands on us."
"Well for us, the orders seem to be kill sight."
"Thanks Captain Obvious," Echo grumbled.
"I do understand your meaning. It is highly distressing that the Empire would go to such lengths."
"We changed things on Ryloth. The Empire will be coming for us for the damage we caused."
"We got your chips out, we can get hers out too!" Omega said looking at all of them pleadingly.
"Omega, we tried," Hunter said defeatedly, not capable of meeting her gaze, "We have to let her go, she's with the Empire now."
"We also do not know enough on the procedure if she could survive having the chip removed," Tech added, "You have to let her go."
"Would you want us to let you go?" Omega demanded glaring at Tech.
"Yes, if it was in the best interest of the squad. We all are prepared to make that sacrifice. So was she," Tech said turning to look at his sister, "She is with Crosshair. We have to trust whatever his personal ambitions and plans are - that they include her, he let us live on Ryloth, on Kamino and just now. We may not understand what is going through his mind but I choose to believe he is playing a long game none of us understand," Tech twisted back setting his focus back to flying.
"Did he say anything else?" Echo asked eyeing Hunter who also wouldn't meet his gaze.
"To Run," Hunter admitted, "I don't trust him but she wasn't playing around. I believe he was right about the chip and to run."
Wrecker looked at Echo who returned his gaze with a nod upward, "She'll be home before you know it kid," Wrecker assured placing his huge hand on her petite shoulder, "Just gotta be patient." If she's breathin, she'll be coming home.
Blaster fire clung to the air but that didn't detour your anger. You mirrored him placing your hand on your hips glaring at him, "Why did you set it to stun! The order is to terminate them on sight."
"I haven't received any such order," Crosshair said spinning the blaster around his finger before handing it back, "I ordered you to stun, why didn't you obey?" he squinted.
"My orders go above you."
"I've been with you since you woke up, you haven't received any such order; lieutenant."
"The Emperor.." the pain on the side of your head started again, your hand moved to it defensively, "ordered it."
"Did he now?" Crosshair said slyly moving closer until he was on your toes looking down hovering his face mer inches away from yours feeling your warm breath against his neck. "Go back to the Cantina, eat. That is an order," he said seeing the approaching Imperial ship with reinforcements and more than likely command. Once again trying to think quickly of a way to cover this.
"Yes, sir." Reluctantly you turned and headed towards the speeder, looking at him one more time watching him shoo you with his hand as he turned towards the ship. Arriving back at the Cantina the table the two of had temporarily occupied was still vacant so you slide back into it. At first you attempted to eat slowly but it didn't last long with the craving in your core for the solid substance. Your stomach grumbled at the cramming of food. Leaning back in your seat you stared at the blasters tucked into your waist band and the empty heaviness weighting them down. You thought about the shock on their faces, had we spoken lately? Why would they assume I would go with them? However emptiness weighed in your chest, nothing towards them was felt not even a sliver of closeness. They were nothing, traitors. You were to caught up in your thoughts when Crosshair appeared wiping the corner of your mouth with a napkin. It made the area tingle where the napkin had touched, warmth creeping into your cheeks. Unfamiliar softness lined his features as he sat down slowly shifting back into the harden solider.
"How did it feel?" He asked flatly examining you with her perceptive gaze looking for any hit of memory.
"Feel?" You asked finding the void in his gaze.
"Shooting your best friend," he poked eyeing you with squinted eyes.
"I shot a traitor," you said matter of factly.
"You didn't always think like that," Crosshair mumbled looking down at his food, no longer feeling hungry with the unsettling feeling creeping through him that you were more gone then he anticipated. He took a few bits pushing the contents around with his fork before just closing the box. His gloved hand found the scarred webbing on the side of his head and his leg curled up to his chest, the activation of his chip had shook him to his core often haunting him in the dead of night. Abandoned by his brothers, forced to try to kill the family he'd ever known and accepted him, then to have them still question his loyalty and now this would be another ghost haunting him. Crosshair was aware of his cold demeanor and severe outlook on life but how much it had been amplified and changed him to be the perfect soldier, part of his humanity had been taken buried in a locked chest in the depths of his being just out of reach until the accident and having it once again just to lose the person who made him feel like life was worth continuing. His eyes moved sideways feeling your hand cover the one he had on the side of his head.
"It makes you self conscious."
"What do you know," he said harshly removing his hand forcing your hand to drop.
"I don't need to know, I just need to see," you watch his eyes lift off the table softly looking at you for a moment only tenderness to, "I'm sorry I don't remember you, I didn't even consider how difficult this is for you too."
"Hmm," he said digging out a pick and putting it in his mouth. His fingers moved to his pocket debating bearing the truth but decided against it letting his hand fall flat on the table. "It is," he decided to admit, "and agonizing." I am nothing but a clone. A soldier carrying out orders to serve the purpose I was created for but you were suppose to be my everything to give me a reason protect this galaxy but once again in the makers cruelty I am nothing to you too. You're so close but a galaxy away. "What," he stated seeing your eyes still on him.
"Ri.... Riduur," your lips quivered speaking the word, "What does it mean-."
"Don't ever say that word again... until you remember," Crosshair growled but that didn't cover the heart breaking expression on his face, "Feeling full," he quipped with a wink trying to change the conversation as he noticed the near empty box before you.
Your eyes widen at the abrupt switch before you rolled them, "Yes. You obviously aren't however," you said moving your hand looking at the barely eaten food, "Do I need to feed you?" you taunted his early words back at him.
Crosshair smirked handing you the fork in a silent challenge, watching as you took it and reopened his box of food. Genuine laughter filled his lungs after you put food on it and hovered it by his mouth. He took the bite and took the fork from your hand to continue to pick at the food himself. Pulling his data pad out he slide it across the table opening your file up, "Up to you." He waited as you read your file along with opening his.
"Why didn't you tell me?" you asked pushing the pad back towards him. No words could describe what it was like to read your life, at least parts of it that were on the record. It was looking in on a scene as a stranger in the distance realizing it was your scene but no matter how fast you ran towards it you couldn't touch it.
"I did."
"Poorly. Why is my service record blank for the past year?"
Kark. "Classified," Crosshair opted, "Same reason part of mine is."
Somehow that answer just make sense, "I was undercover with them. Wasn't I?" You thought about the look of shock and horror on their faces as you shot at them, deep down you knew that was correct answer. You had been with them. I didn't always think like that? Suspiciously you eyed Crosshair, was I traitor? No I would never betray the Empire but would he? Traitors get terminated.
"Classified."
Taking a sip of the water glass the server had brought over you continued to examine him over the rim of the glass, the way his nostrils barely move when he's breathing, the micro movements of his facial muscles when he moves and the depths of his eyes which look like they could swallow you alive and drag you into their dark depths. "I know." It was a game of cat and mouse, what could be said and what could not, if you were smart enough to read between the lines but never truly reveal the cards in either hand. "So... Crosshair, would do you like to do for fun?"
"Guess," he smiled interlacing his finger over the table going still as a statue waiting.
"Hmm," you tapped a finger on the table looking at him again, mentally going over his record and the limited time exposed to him, "Actually..." you paused to look up at him, "Show me one activity that you want me to only think of you during."
"Given your reaction earlier, I don't think you'll like it," Crosshair made the measly tab, motioning for you to follow him. The feel of your hands around his waist froze him for a moment, he looked down at your small arms wrapped around him taking a steadying breath. This is what I wanted, to be together... but we never seemed further apart.
You watched as the landscape faded behind you, the city melting into the distance as you continued to ride into no where. The feel of him against you felt natural, you rested the side of your face against his tensing back. The scent of leather, musk and smoke engulfed your senses and probably would have put you to sleep besides knowing if you loosened your grip it would be a long way down. You tightened your grip a little adjusting how you sat hearing a small muffled growl from him, "Sorry," you mumbled a small wave of embarrassment hitting you.
"Just stop moving," he gritted trying to keep the tent from growing in his pants as your legs and core straddle and rub against him. Thankfully you had stopped moving giving him time to relax and breath. She's not mine, not now, he reminded himself. The rest of the trip was in blessed silence as he took both of you to a mountain side he had found on one of his days off trying to get away from the world to think and find peace in the new galaxy. Regs, the republic, the Jedi, that time is over. We'll be strong, united and unconquerable. Crosshair's agile legs swung first prying off the mode of transportation breaking free of the touching and containment of the embrace. Smirking he looked at you for a moment then up the cliff side, "Climb."
Climb? You watched as his hands and feet already found footing propelling himself up. It was just a momentary lapse, you did your best to psyche yourself up for the task before perusing him up the sharp climb. Pausing for a moment to catch your breath you watched his grace as his hands swiftly moved from one spot to another while his feet tested foot holes. Clone Commando's, you mumbled a sound he apparently caught as he stopped to glare.
"Care to say that again?" he threatened.
"You are designed to be nearly perfect," you offered, "Endured rigorous training to make this child's play to you."
"You use to be able to keep up," he grumbled waiting, "Glad this wasn't in the field, or we'd be dead," he huffed.
"If I'm dead weight then why wait for me?"
"To keep you from being dead."
Maybe it was the inflection in his nasally voice or the way he looked when he said it or maybe even the way he tried to safeguard your climb the rest of the way up but something in your chest echoed an unfamiliar flutter as you climbed up in onto the perch of the climb overlooking the nothingness. You saw his drawn in posed as he sat, this time no memories revealed themselves. The sun set darkened his eyes while shadowing the hollow cut of his cheeks.
"Beautiful," he stated looking out at the vastness of empty land, keeping you in his peripheral even as the evening haze begun to contour your features.
"Crosshair?" you asked quietly.
"Hmm?"
"Are you happy?" you asked the tooth pick nawing man as he continued to watch the world around him as if the universe in it's entirety existed in this single moment as he turned to look at you, pain lacing his features.
I promise more parts of Those Who Fight Together, Playing with Fire, Foxglove and Dark Redemption are coming along with a few TBB and Clone one shots 😭 I got promoted at work awhile and pulling 50-60 hour weeks so I’ve been really burnt out and still recovering from being sick. Thank you all for the patience.
Heyyyy look! The fantastic artist @ve-ti-ver graced us with these TBB portraits that I crafted into dividers! Feel free to use but please credit the artist. 😍
Summary: Female Jedi survived order 66 hides out in the underground of Ord Mantell. Hiding out in Cid's parlor keeping your head down you see Rex's face and get sent backward in time. (Gif by @dreamswithghosts)
Warning: Order 66 Jedi Trauma, Feeling Haunted, Soft Rex, Angsty and Love
Word count: 2.7
Masterlist part 1
Facing all that you fear will free you from yourself. Your nerves were still on edge tempting you to flee being around the rest of clone force 99 even if their chips weren't activated they were still at risk at going nuclear at any moment. Although the walk back to the parlor soothed your nerves being Echo and him again but going into the parlor into such a cramped space didn't help. Rex positioned you behind him hoping it would help sooth you, his arm went around your waist ready to shove you away if necessary. Nonchalantly Echo had placed himself between Rex and the rest of his brothers, he may have trusted them with every bone in his body since they rescued him but you were still the commander to him. They both wanted to protect you even from a non existed threat. It was comforting that after all this time Rex and Echo just had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking. The 501st may be gone but the bond between them lives on.
"Do you think the Commander will rehabilitate?" Tech said flatly looking at you then back to Rex mind conversation, "Obviously I disagree with the systematic eradication of the Jedi, she does not possess the same mental fitness as we clones have been bred to endure and the order has seem to take a heavy toil on her mental aptitude for returning to the fight."
"The Commander-" Rex started, "Can speak for herself," you cut in.
You swallowed looking at Tech, "A wise man once said Truth enlightens the mind, but won't always bring happiness to your heart. It is a lot to accept and understand but it doesn't heal the fact my own men, men I trusted with my life and fought beside for years, tried to terminate me nor the death of so many allies. That same man also said 'Ignore your own instincts at your own peril," you paused to look at them and up at Wrecker before your eyes shot back down, you couldn't help feel that something was wrong but the force was beckoning your silence, "I am not ready to find myself in that position again."
"Well get them out," Echo said defiantly, "We'll never be a threat to you, ever."
"I'll be in touch," Rex nodded pulling you away from them towards the exit but waited to speak until he put a decent amount of distance between you and Hunter, "The force is telling you something isn't it?"
"They have to get them out, soon. How did you get yours out?"
Jesse... Vaughn... Your mind wandered to the battlefield, having the 501st at your side. The boys always wanted to die in battle but never like that. You wiped the corner of your eyes, "They were good men," you choked out when he was done.
"The best."
The both of you continued down the street in silence, at some point your hand found his. It still hurt to look at him but his presence helped the pain, "Now what?" you whispered.
"You can stay here... or you can help me save my brothers, I have to try."
You looked at him, the conviction as dedication across his face was the same one he had before a battle, "I'll come," you whispered before you had time to think it through, "Don't know how much use I'll be, Tech has a point."
"It doesn't matter, just having a Jedi with us is enough especially you Commander," Rex said squeezing your hand, "We should gather your belongings, the boys are destined to pick me up shortly."
Weaving between side streets it was an easy back track to your tiny place, Rex found a bag and quickly packed your clothes as your hand rested against the slats in the floor concealing your past. You scooted up lifting the slate with the force letting your free hand dig out the pouch after putting the board back you opened it retrieving the saber. The weight felt foreign in your grasp, the metal cool to the touch. You flicked it up into the air catching it with the other hand, just like riding a speeder. Looking over you saw Rex observing with a small smile before he returned to packing, you tucked the saber away.
"Are you sure about this?" he said slinging the bag over his shoulder but not looking at you trying to hide the grim expression. He would keep giving you a chance to go back to a normal life if you wanted one even if it hurt him, the war took so much from you he didn't want to be the reason you lost any more.
"Facing all that you fear will free you from yourself," you stated with a heavy breath, it wasn't the simple answer you knew Rex wanted but it was the truth, "If you remember Anakin and I were never one for running when things got tough. I think I've hidden in the shadows long enough." That statement was the first sliver of hope you had in a long time. Your eyes found Rex's, fondness had swept over them at the mention of the old days, the simple days. Keeping eye contact you took the short steps across to him tucking your face in his neck holding him. Your body still screamed run but your heart told you not to let go.
His hand found your back rubbing it, "We should get going," he sighed not wanting the tender moment to end, "Let's meet the 105th," he smirked.
"Did you really just switch the numbers?" you said with real genuine laughter.
"No, but I think I'll start calling us that if you make that beautiful sound again," he said putting your arm through the crook of his, "Let's go."
Finding the ship wasn't hard, it was discreet for the most part in the back of the docking station. The only tell tale sign that it was different then any of the standard ships around the port had been a barely noticeable white mark barely indistinguishable in the shape of Ashoka facial mark hidden near the bottom of the haul by the ramp.
Rex squeezed your hand tightly finding the nervous expression on your face, "None of these men will ever be a threat to you," he said giving the ship three solid knocks.
Your heart shook as the anticipation grew, these are Rex's men. Deserters of the Empire, they could be trusted. Right? I trusted my men... Clam grew over your skin as the ramp finally touched the ground. Looking up you found a green trooper looking down at you, one of master Yoda's men? You watched the trooper salute, standing at attention coughing to get the attention of the other trooper hanging near by who repeated his attention.
"Commander, this is Nemec and the brother over there is Fireball, at ease," Rex said giving them a stiff nod.
"Nice to meet you, Sir," Nemec said as you walked on board after Rex.
"She's a little skittish around us clones so give her breathing room."
"Don't blame her," Fireball murmured, "I barely ever want to see our face again," he heard Nemec cough finding the glare he was giving him, "Just saying, I can barely stand to look at it after what our brothers did."
"His chip's defective, deteriorated but unlike Tup's it didn't execute the order early. It's out now. He took the loss of his General hard and found me soon after," Rex whispered.
"Let's get out of here, I'm going to show the Commander around," Rex said gesturing away from them, "Refresher, their room, my room, mess... sorta," he shrugged, "storage closet, I could turn that into your private room if you want one," he shrugged again nervously rubbing his neck at the unspoken question hanging in the area.
"I think I should share yours Captain, I'll want my own bed of course."
Rex's heart skipped a beat, "I can arrange that," he tried to keep his stern dignified expression but felt like a cadet, of course their had been nights together but never like this coexisting in the same place, "Sorry," he coughed finding the responsive blush across your face. "Anyway, you can take my bed for now. I'll go grab a spare mat from the storage room," he said setting the pack down on his bed excusing himself so you to get settled in. It's not like before di'kut, the reminder settled in his bones wondering if all of the closeness had been to much. He tried to steal himself to that possibility. Taking a seat outside the room, he forced himself to clear his mind until Nemec walked over.
"You sure about this, Captain," he said jetting his chin towards the door, "We need a Jedi on our side but are we sure being in these cramped quarters is good for her?"
Rex understood his brothers concern, he looked at the door for a moment before placing a hand on the man's shoulder, "She was always the backbone holding the men together after every major loses and always giving us hope. It's time we do the same for her." His tone was firm, "I trust her, she choose to come with me for a reason. I believe she knows she can work through this."
"Did you ever think she came because she loves you?"
"Trust her judgement, Vod," Rex smiled taking his hand off his shoulder, "Let's head to base." Turning on his heel Rex rummaged through the storage closet grabbing the rolled up mat before heading back to his room. Our room, he thought smiling. When he returned all of your belonging had already taken up the spade signifying your stay with him.
"I haven't seen or slept on one of those in ages," you smiled softly looking at the poor express for a bed as he laid it out, "I'll take the mat if you want the bed-."
"Don't even think about taking the floor Mesh'la," he said bringing his gaze to yours, "We'll head to our base to plan to get The Bad Batch's chips out and you can see everyone else, I know their's a couple other 501st troopers who'd love to see you," he smiled.
"Who?" You asked going wide eyed.
"Hawk and Dogma," his grinned widen, "I definitely didn't expect it either," he cautiously said walking forward letting one hand fall to your hip, "A Jedi and a captain, whatever are they going to think," he jested hearing you laugh melting some of the burdens in his heart, "I've missed you every passing moment, Cyare," his grin faltered for a second before returning, "No matter how long it takes I'll wait for you to be ready again," he said letting go, "the rest of my life if need be. Now I have to try to figure out how to get their chips out."
"Captain?"
"Yes, Mesh'la?"
You took the step back towards him wrapping your arms around his neck, the familiar scent, feel of him and the warm tiny tug through the force, "Thank you for being patient," you pulled away wrapping your arms at your side, "We can use the republic scrap yard, their were rumors of a ship being delivered."
"And you know this how?" Rex smiled crossing his arms.
"I did have a salvaging job to get by."
"I'll let the boys know and we can devise a plan, welcome back Commander."
You followed after him, skin prickling at Nemec and Fireballs presence. They each offered a small smile as you took the sit next to the Captain as he started planning. He was quiet for what seemed like forever when he hand stretched out and rested in your thigh as he kept working. You looked down at it, lip quivering as tears threaten to fall again. It's a different time, you placed your hand over his as you chimed it time to time with what little information you had.
"Rex?"
"Yes, Mesh'la?" he said not lifting his eyes from the task at hand.
"I'll love you the rest of my life too," you whispered squeezing his hand, "I think we're getting ready to land again," you said feeling the ship slowing down.
Rex gave a tiny nod standing up interweaving his fingers with yours, guiding you towards the cockpit finding Fireball bringing the ship down. You observed the low tech handmade building and the small cluster of troopers already waiting outside, greens, greys, a red and then the 501st blue. You saw the familiar valiant tattoo across Dogma's face and then the red hawk wing tattoo's on Hawk's temples. Walking off the ship Rex placed himself between you and the rest of them, each set of eyes noticing the hands bound together. You felt like you were going to be sick being around this many troopers, it apparently must have paled you.
"Commander, you're not looking so good," Hawk pointed out.
"Let's get some air Cyare," he said softly, "Hawk, Dogma both of you are coming with me to help a couple of our brother's get their chips out."
"Yes, Sir."
Gently you felt Rex stir you away from the crowd away from prying eyes towards the edge of the small base, guiding you towards a crate to sit on overlooking the forest, "Better?" he asked quietly.
"Do you think Tech's right? What if-."
"A wise woman once told me when I was losing faith in myself; A soldier's most powerful weapon is courage. Courage begins by trusting oneself. You choose to come with me, Commander, you could have stayed on Ord Mantell and lived out a regular civilian life but you didn't."
"You've been waiting since Tibrin to toss that back at me, haven't you?" you said with a smile sad laugh, your gaze travelled to the sky remembering other sayings you were taught; Who we are never changes, who we think we are does. One must let go of the past to hold on to the future. To seek something is to believe in its possibility. I was- I am Jedi, a Commander in the Grand Army of the Republic and partner of one of the most highly decorated Captain's. I do not run when the battle get's rough, I stand beside my men and face evil head first. I am survivor of Order 66, I lived to fight another day. You exhaled a breath you were apparently holding. Turning your head, you took his appearance forcing your mind to calm down and body to still. The familiar earthly tone of his eyes; the arrays of brown to shimmering golds, the short blonde hair, the expressive eyes just for you and a smile that puts very sun to shame. While your body tried to fight but your mind had already come to terms with reality, it might take for your body to catch up but it would be worth it. Rex would be worth it. You watched his hand come up and caress your cheek, your breath hitched as you leaned into it bringing your hand to his.
"Possibly," he smiled finally answering the question, "Ready to go back?"
"Yeah, I want to see the boys," you smiled.
Rex pulled you closer to him, "Let's go see the boys," he affirmed keeping his hand around your waist stirring you around troopers until he found the two other blues in the back rolling up their sleeping packs.
"Sir," Dogma saluted before staring down at Rex's arm, "Regulations-"
"No longer exist," Hawk pointed out, "Called it," he chuckled.
"Nice to see you too, Dogma."
"Sorry, still getting use to it," he added nervously.
"Me too," you mumbled.
"I am happy for the two of you," Dogma quickly added, "When are we leaving?"
"In a couple hours," Rex said feeling your body slowly continue to tense. His mouth fell agape when you reached out hugging the two of them, "I've missed you, boys," you whispered before pulling back. Rex's hand found your waist again feeling the muscles constrict themselves into knots. He stirred both of you back to the ship to your's room, "That was bold," he murmured eyeing you cautiously as you climbed onto the bed.
"With great risk comes great rewards," you offered, gently tugging his hand towards the bed smiling as redness flushed across his face. Sheepishly he removed his poncho and armor discarding it to a regulation neat pile on the floor, “How about until we leave I try to get use to being next to you again?”
“There is no other place I rather be then next to you, Commander,” Rex smiled climbing into the bed, “Just tell me when it becomes to much, I don’t mind taking my time with the scars I can’t see.”
Warning: Cannon typical violence, Order 66, Pinning, former established relationship, emotional turmoil, smut piv, mention of wounds, mention of mount taniss, Crosshair’s depression, Crosshair’s head wound, Flashbacks, experimentation mention.
Word Count: 7k
Masterlist ~ part I ~ part II - part IV
Haunted memories hung in the air, the silence had taken a space as an unwanted guest keeping the both of you apart. The broken words of his question hung to your body like an ill fitting body suit taunting every flaw which continued to slowly shrink as the silence continued along with his thousand yard stare threatening to make you burst apart. Once you would have believed nothing could haunt the reaper but here it was the echoes of life taunting him.
Unlocking the door you let him walk in first, watching sit in the middle of the bed looking out the tiny window, this time it was your turn to sit infront of him. Gently placing your hand on his knee scared to jostle him out of his thoughts, "What do you need, Crosshair?" you asked staring at his off in the distance expression. He looked at you but not quiet seeing. "Riduur," you whispered causing his focus to momentarily realign.
"Space," he whispered looking back out the window, his gaze unfocusing once again.
Like a year of it wasn't enough, "If you need me, here," you said slipping him the spare communicator from your pack knowing what could happen, "I'm going out for the evening," you left the spare key openly out on your bed incase he needed to go for a walk, "I'll bring you back some food." You stole another glance at him wondering where or when his mind way, "Wrecker never blamed you for shooting him, thought you'd like to know," you said slipping out the door.
The air was colder, regretfully not bringing a coat you put your hands into your pockets contemplating how you wanted to entertain yourself for a few hours with out any company. You knew this town but this town didn't know you, no friends or even acquaintances roamed this zone. You kicked a tiny rock but headed to the tree you found him in. Not having the best entire on for climbing you managed to get to the limp and watch the night life of the city begin. By the time the streets lights turned on you decided it was finally time to explore. The world ghosted under your feet as you tread across it taking in various shops, cantinas and dinners, reveling in how peaceful it still felt since the rise of the Empire. No imperial broad cast on every passing holonet nor white contrasting the town, it was almost still like the days of the republic except here you stood a remnant of a age most were to tired to fight to regain. You were tired too, tired of the injustices, tired of dictatorship, tired of the abuse of the galaxies citizens and tired of the treatment of him. A familiar smell pulled you towards a restaurant, smile twitching on your lips at the distance memory.
~ Days of the Republic; Pizza ~
The smells of the real fire ovens wafted through the restaurant, "How archaic," Crosshair mused looking at the triangle cut food that littered the various tables. His eyes scoped the various toppings wondering how that sounded appetizing together. Seldom did he ever step away from regulation food but you had told him this indulgence would be worth it. Crosshair watched your smile as you lead him towards a small two person booth.
"Watch it, Snarky or no dessert."
"I thought you were dessert," he retorted staring at you, letting his contentment shine in his irises.
You rolled your eyes trying to keep the blush from reaching your cheeks, "Says the man who didn't even kiss me," you taunted.
In hindsight, Crosshair had come to realize that was a poor decision on his part and one his brothers had enjoyed teasing him about especially Tech still doubting the compatibility. His fingers tapped the table as his mind trialed off wondering if perhaps Tech was correct, out of all of his brothers he was the most distant and harsh. Hunter or Wrecker even Tech could've provide better companionship. Tech's stupid chart taunted him, Hunter 81%, Tech 72%, Wrecker 56%, Crosshair 13%, had he really been that poor of a choice. He was tempted to get up and walk out when he felt your hand silence on top his. He stared at your hand before looking up at you only offering a stiff nod thankful for your observational skills, he stiffened as he felt your fingers lace through his as you one handedly looked through the menu. He had seen several nat borns do this but just made him feel exposed. Crosshair opened the menu nonchalantly using it to cover your intertwined hands from any prying eyes of the outside world.
You watched him patiently trying to gauge his reaction to the simple gesture. When the waitress walked over you didn't think his muscles could constrict any further when you both handed her the menus. Gently you pulled away your hand watching him relax, instead wrapping your legs around one of his knowing how dark it was under there and it didn't seem to phase him. It shouldn't have surprised you, Crosshair profile had described him as private, his little makeshift barrier between his bunk and his brother's had definitely proved that. It was possibly even a good thing, just so if this did turn out to be something it would be easy to hide. A smile tugged on your lips.
"What?" He asked leaning back in the booth.
"Nothing."
"Liar."
"Just thinking about you," you admitted taking a sip of water.
"What about me?" He cocked an eyebrow.
"How private you are even worlds away from Kamino even with your brothers handful of klicks away."
"It's who I am," he said flatly trying to conceal his emotions.
"It's cute."
He blinked while twirling the toothpick side to side in his mouth, "How?"
"Wanting to keep what's your to yourself," you offered, listening to a little hmm escape from his lips. You gently squeezed his leg, "It doesn't bug me if that's what's bothering you," you said looking at his knitted eyebrows.
Crosshair looked back up at you but not trusting enough to voice the doubt in his mind. He just nodded again. His stomach threaten to grumble at the smell of the food which caused a small sneer to tug at his lips. "Pizza," he mumbled once the food arrived, his mind was already cataloguing everything wrong with it when he noticed you digging in happily. Crosshair tended to be very particular about the division in his non regulation food to keep accurate portion sizes and organization about what he was consuming but pizza was just chaos. He sighed picking up the hot piece of food taking a bite, the combination of flavors flooding his mouth like the forced swimming lessons on Kamino. He set it down and stared at it before trying it again, "It's adequate," he said looking at the anticipation on your face. It was delicious, but his mouth wouldn't let him say it. He returned your smile, both of you eating in the pleasant silence.
You lingered ncxt to him leaving the leaving the restaurant casually heading towards a decent ice cream parlor, "Dessert?" you asked.
"That was enough taste testing for me today."
"Does that count me too?" You jested, running face first into his chest. You stared up into the gleaming brown eyes staring down at you his face was softer but still neutral as he grabbed your chin giving you a soft quick kiss before stepping back quickly scanning the surrounding area.
"Is that what you wanted?" He straightening his back. Trying to keep his nerves from showing this with drilled in training.
"Yes," you smiled still feeling the brush of his lips against causing your face to heat up. Biting your lip you continued walking realizing it was probably his first kiss, which stopped you dead in your tracks looking at a dark alley gently you tugged him towards it. You found him sneering at you with his arms folded, shut off which wasn't what you anticipated from the privacy, "I liked it," you whispered.
"So?"
"You don't say a lot but your face sure does," you said, "Why are you mad?" you asked observing him.
"Who says I'm mad?"
You looked him up and down cocking your head to the side, "You're really asking me that?" You watched his eyebrows descend with his furrowed squint. "Next time don't kiss me until your ready, Snarky," you offered leading his grumbly form to the ice cream shop. Regardless of if he ate it or not, you got him a chocolate cup. The rest of the walk was silent as you strolled your way back to the ship with food in tow as payment from the privacy.
Wrecker met you at the ramp jumping when he saw the bag of food, "I like this one!" He said excitedly as you handed him his own box of pizza picking you up by the waist along side it hauling you into the ship.
You had started getting use to the Batches shenanigans except Wrecker's accidental outburst, "What did I say about picking her up! Ask first," Hunter scolded.
"Uh- Right. Sorry," Wrecker said setting you down in the cockpit with them, finding Crosshair's pissed expression walking in.
"Someone doesn't like you manhandling his girl," Hunter snickered.
"Why not?" Wrecker asked in earnest confused.
"That is generally what one does with one's own partner not another's. If I were you I would keep one eye open while you slept," Tech said grabbing the other box of pizza sharing it with Hunter, "Assuming Crosshair is the jealous type," he added eyeing his brother, "I assumed correctly."
"So what if I am," he grumbled plopping down in the seat next to you, the question discreetly towards you.
"It is not something you can change, it is however something you can manage," Tech interjected, "Assuming this works out. To be blunt, I don't theorize will. Crosshair, you are too reserved to open up which from what I have read is the bare minimum and you tend to be aloof with anyone who isn't the three of us, most of the time, sometimes that even includes us. That being said managing emotions within a relationship does require the bare minimum"
"Shut up and eat your pizza," you replied flatly finding Crosshair's cold unreadable expression at his brother.
"Pizza is delicious," Wrecker said attempting to slice through the tension in the air, "Sorry for pickin' er up."
~
The door of the restaurant slide open relieving a small Mom and Pop's styled restaurant, you walked in automatically being lead to a tiny booth by a service droid. It seemed like a life time ago that you had managed to drag him out on a date if you could call it that as the flirtatious side comments had continued and after observing how annoyed he seemed with his brothers when we're were paired with anyone else on missions. You ordered a slice of your favourite and a soda float along with a pizza to go when you were done. Being alone gave you to much time for your mind to wander to unpleasant depths. You leaned your head on your hand staring down at the wood grain table, it's life story be on display for all to see wondering if anyone else had taken the time to read it and if anyone would read yours if this how it ended.
You ate slowly bidding your time while enjoying your float. By the time you paid, a mild food coma was setting in. Every step back to the hotel made you realize how exhausted you were. Your lips twitched pleasantly that Crosshair had at least showered and had pajamas on by the time you returned and their wasn't an imperial waiting for you before you forced them to straight line, "Pizza," you murmured setting the box on his nightstand.
"I'm going to shower," you murmured, grabbing your pajamas from your drawer heading into the refresher. Thankful for the old style water shower you turned it to warm letting it heat up as you disrobed. You barely had a chance to get your hair wet before you heard the door open, "Cross!" you exclaimed covering yourself facing the wall.
"Did you eat alone?" he asked propping himself against the wall.
"Is this really the time-"
"Answer the question," he hissed.
"For kriff's sake, yes."
"Then why does this place make you sentimental?" He growled waiting for the hammer of betrayal to drop.
"This is where Commander Cody told me I was getting reassigned to Clone Force 99."
He squinted but found nothing but the truth across your face, "Hmph," he said taking the tooth pick of his mouth, "You remembered what I ordered," a statement not a question, "We only had it the once."
"You liked it," you shrugged, "Now can I shower?"
"Can I join?" he murmured.
"Wha-," you steadied his expression, "Yeah," you swallowed turning as his fingers pulled off his shirt.
"You find me hideous now" He said flatly stepping in.
You looked at him, "No," your eyebrows came together for a moment wonder what would make him think that, "I just don't know what we are to each other now... you said once but didn't clarify..."
"No," he blurted out his hands finding the soap bar lathering his hands, "Commander Cody brought me here once," he added gently massaging your back and arms with his precise finger tips. "I don't know either," he admitted putting more soap on his hands before modestly washing your torso not lingering longer then he had too before moving down your legs. "Being a soldier is all I've ever known," he said standing back up, "I don't know if I can be anything else."
Your hand rested on his which sat itself on your hip as you took a deep breath, "The choice is yours. Be with me, be with your brothers, go out on your own or go back to the Empire if that's what you really want," you listening to another little hmm escape him before his hands moved to your hair. This would have almost been peaceful besides the conversation, even on the marauder you both had often used the sonic together as an excuse for some almost privacy to embrace. You tilted your head back into the water letting his nimble fingers rinse it out. Your eyes found his staring at you intently, cautiously you placed your hands around his neck tilting your
head back up. Taking a deep breath when you felt his hands go around your waist taking one step forward, bodies almost touching. You thought he was going to kiss you when he leaned in but he shut the water off returning his hand to your waist. There was a trace of hunger in his earthly eyes, pupils slightly blown but still fully in control of himself.
You felt his long fingers trial your side his look turning to contemplation, "I don't know what I'll want tomorrow. Right now, I need you," he breathed moving closer.
"What if you decide you don't want me tomorrow," you whispered breaking his gaze, eyes accidentally trailing down his still chiseled torso. Why does he have to be so perfect?
"Cyar'ika," he growled, "I've always wanted you," he let his hands fall from your waist but his fingers were caught by yours and you dragged him out of the shower letting him go only for a couple moments to hand him a towel and to dry yourself off before you dragged him back to the room towards his bed, "Even if you belonged with one of them."
"Cross," you murmured.
His lips were a sparking blaze igniting against your. Carefully maneuvering back onto the bed letting his hands guiding you to where he wanted you. His fingers tracing nearly forgotten flesh trying to recommit it to memory. Your beauty that had agonized him every morning ebut as time had passed it had become less and less frequent causing Crosshair to realize he missed it as the memory of you grew distant. His heart was racing like it had the first time causing his lungs to withhold precious oxygen from him. While his mind had nearly forgotten his body hadn't as he kissed deep remembrances down your neck speckling it in purple causing his name to fall from your lips pleadingly. He tensed hearing the desperation in your tone, his fingers digging into the bed. Crosshair tilted his hips down up grinding himself against your soaked warmth, groaning at the sensation his mind wandering to absolutely feral places over the feel of you, "Do you want me," he gritted out halting himself.
"Yes-," you breathed, feeling his fingers quickly entwine with yours bringing your joined hands over above your head. The contact of him consuming as he pressed his tip against your clit teasing you before pressing himself into you. You gridded your teeth as the stretched burned causing him to freeze as he seated fully inside resting his hips against yours. Tilting your chin up, he got the message bringing his lips to yours taking his time with every kiss gently pressing to sucking a pout into them until he felt you slowly relax around his cock. Slowly he dragged his body against yours not breaking contact with your mouth. Breaking the contact you gave him a loving head bump before resting your forehead against his. Every inch of your soul ached for him, crying out just to be connected to him again. His scent, his voice, his breath every single aspect of Crosshair consumed your senses as he lowered himself barely hovering over you as he continued his longing pace. The squeeze of his hand dragged you back to him to the fire blazing in his shadowed eyes, a broken grin threatening tearing spread across your face seeing him so... him.
Every collision was driven by the pure despair caused by the absent of being whole together, each kiss passionate as if it was the last while every breath was silently thanking everything above that Crosshair could have this time to be joined with you. He released one of your hands to cup the back of your head. Your fingers made contact with his scar, surprised at the tenderness your fingers had adoringly tracing it. He leaned into the touch. The feeling of being accepted even if was just for tonight was enough to quiet the forever nagging feeling in his bones that you belonged with one of his brothers, but here you were with him flaws and all. When he was a younger man, you had taunt him how to fuck but now he knew how to love. He lightly pushed your head down before lifting his own head up, both you staring down at where you were connected. It was always one of your favorite things to watch him disappear inside you. He slowly pulled out, barely leaving his tip inside before snapping his hips into hours reveling in the sounds of your slick coating him. After a few more times letting you begin to writhe at the approaching orgasm he moved his mouth now your neck alternating between kissing and licking the marks he had left, groaning as he felt you clenching around him vice holding. His chest vibrated with the groan that escaped his lips. Crosshair's hip fought against his self control to speed up the dance and ultimately won, what started as a slow dance of love quickly transformed into a tango of desperate passion. He released your other hand to roam his war harden muscles while his white knuckles dug into the bed. Hot mouthed kisses muffled moans to keep from getting a sound complaint this late in the evening. His hips frozen for a moment as you came, squishing to the point his vision went white a moment before he returned to an unruly pace while his vocal cords strained to keep quiet. Every rope released caused his balls to twitch at the violence of the eruption. He brought his hand down wrapping it around your back holding you to him and using it to stabilize himself as he laid halfway on you. He smiled at your twitching sheepishly, staring back at him. Never could such an ethereal being roam this galaxy, nor be his but again here you with a monster such as himself.
Only for a moment the past had merged with the reality of the present, silver gently speckled his scalp and Crosshair's eyes were the liveliest shade of earth possible but in a blink it was gone, "Cross," you smiled weakly moving your had to cup his face, your fingers trembling against his tough skin. Your body vibrated from the release, edging you to the point of exhaustion causing you to struggle to stay awake. His face buried itself in your neck, hot breath eased you to sleep until he woke you making you whine.
"You need to get cleaned up," he murmured pressing soft kisses to your jaw. You didn't move causing him to huff as he climbed off you scooping you up in his arms and carrying you to the refresher and gently seat you on the toilet before leaning against the counter.
"Are you really going to stay while I...?" You trailed off confused at his sudden interest.
"Yes," he uttered wishing he had thought to bring a toothpick to keep busy.
You raised an eyebrow but shrugged it off, trying to keep the red out of your face over his all seeing gaze. The red burning as you did your little routine hearing his desire fall into the toilet, not able to look at him. You felt Crosshair's hands on your knee staring at you, "It's just me." Covering your quivering mouth with your hand you still couldn't look at him. He pulled the hand away standing back up, "I didn't realize there was any privacy between us," he said flatly.
"Cross..." you groaned at another mood swing, "It's just that your.. staring and barely blinking, it's making me self conscious."
"I should know how to clean you up by now," he gritted out, another small failure on his part not being the clingy observant type after intercourse opting to go be alone after the intimate action trying to make peace with the intimacy within his soul and the deattachment he needed for his profession.
"Crosshair..." you realized this was deeply personal to him, "I'm almost done anyway," you mumbled wiping the rest of the drenching slick off, "Typically I would shower so I don't blatantly smell in front of Hunter, but he's not here so I will in the morning." You heard Crosshair's little hmm of a responsive before standing up giving him a warm kiss, "Goodnight, Riduur," you whispered before crawling into your bed grabbing one of the extra pillows and pulling it to your body but no matter how hard you closed your eyes you just couldn't get comfortable and the hair on the back of your neck was standing up. You craned your head finding Crosshair sitting on the edge of his bed observing you, "What's on your-"
"Can I join."
You turned further, of course both of you had slept together but usually not right afterwards. Eyeing him you opened the blanket watching his tall slender form sip under the blankets curling up into your back. You opened your mouth but quickly closed it not wanting to ruin whatever was currently transpiring. At first his aloofness had bothered you a great deal but with time and dedication you came to understand why he did some of the things he did, especially after one or two drinks to loosen your lips and find an excuse to get Tech alone to question his brother's behavior after wondering if you were the problem.
"This is nice," he whispered feeling sick yet warm on the inside as he buried his face in the back of your neck.
"It does," you whispered feeling like you were melting into the bed with him in it.
"I... am sorry for not doing this sooner."
You wrapped your arm around his and brought one to touch his face stroking his sliced cheek bones, "I accepted you, Crosshair, I knew what I was getting into."
"No you didn't," he whispered causing the room lap in silence, "You belonged with them."
"I belong to you," you stated, "whether you likes it or not."
"We had the lowest chance," he grumbled.
"Tech was wrong," that comment seemed to get his attention, "You can hold that over his head, for once he was wrong. It wouldn't have worked with anyone else, you want to know why?" you said forcing his arm to move so you could roll over and look at him, "None of them are you, Crosshair. They couldn't challenge me, they didn't look at me the way you do, they wouldn't have been been able to watch my back like you and I do for eachother so they don't the bond with that comes with that and they certainly don't make me yearn for their mere existence," you stated this time forcing him to stare at you.
"Ni kar'tayl gar darasuum," Crosshair whispered examining the steadfast loyalty on your face.
"I love you too, Cross," you yawned, to tired to try to repeat the language fading in your mind from the lack of use.
"Go to sleep," he whispered pulling you closer to him caging you in with his legs. He smiled feeling you playfully struggle before giving into him. "I'll... be here when you wake up."
~ Dream : Days of the Republic; Injury ~
Life and death waged on the lush forest floor, an endless cycle to prove oneself as the dominant species through hunter-prey adaptations. Legs folded over tree branch, you looked up to find Crosshair being the king of all as still as the tree itself looking through his sights at his brothers in the distance. You saw his gloved hand beckon for you to join him, "Won't I distract you, Loth-cat?" you teased knowing how he hated the accurate comparison.
"Quit calling me that," he grumbled.
"Whatever you say snarky," you smirked as you started up the tree taking the branch next to him. You turned to stone leaning against the mass of the tree as you continuously scanned the forest floor for wildlife or any signs of clankers. "Incoming, due east," you said pressing the com button on the side of your head. You watched Crosshair's gaze shift for just a moment before returning to his brothers.
"How many?" you heard Tech reply.
"A dozen."
"Do you think you could take them?" Hunter asked you.
"Of course Sargent," you replied hoping straight out of the tree heading towards better cover away from Crosshair.
"Be careful," you heard Cross's voice through the private com link channel.
"Don't get distracted," you replied, "Crosshair having feelings? Who would have thought," you poked.
"Quiet."
You rolled your eyes, taking a tree several klicks away from him before firing on the clankers causing them to scramble. That wasn't enough to save any of them. "I feel bad for them," Hunter teased over the head set, "Sure you do Sarge," you laughed back, "Come on, they didn't even get to see the beautiful face of their angel of decommissioning," he tossed back with a flirting undertone.
Crosshair's anger boiled at the boldness of the flirt across the open com channel. He could feel his muscles twitching as he contained himself with the confines of his still form. Another quip he barely registers fell from one of his brother's mouths about your beauty, "Shut it," he growled into the headset.
"You both have been on exactly two dates in twenty-two rotations, you should not be jealous as you have failed to actually make a commitment to pursue the relationship, Crosshair," Tech replied, "We both also know you just fell to one of Hunter's intentional provocations."
"Fine. After the mission we take a short shore leave for ourselves," Crosshair gridded out.
"Such enthusiasm," you said sarcastically, "I can't resist."
"Yes or no," Crosshair snapped annoyed that he was letting himself get distraction by such a mundane thing on a mission.
"Yes," you said curtly.
"Good," Crosshair said flatly, ignoring Tech's following comment about that is not what he meant and further proof to the lack of compatibility. He spent the rest of the mission tuning them out unless it was completely vital.
One foot in-front of the other, thankful for the first time ever for Neyo's rigorous pain tolerance training. Just have to get back to the Marauder, you thought to yourself. You were still several klicks away from both the ship and clankers, your head snapped as you felt hands around you lifting you up before you could fight back you noticed Crosshair's gauntlet cover which panicked you further.
You tried to struggle against him but he gripped you tighter, "Crosshair, the mission!" you fussed feeling the now death grip hold he had on you.
"Kriff the mission," he hissed picking up the pace not bothering to shut off the com link.
"Crosshair you are breaking formation!" Tech berated.
"She's injured," he hissed back.
"Crosshair!"
"I'm taking her to the Marauder. End of discussion," he was jeopardizing the whole mission for her. A single life. For the first time in his adult life fear bone chilling fear ran through his veins. While it wasn't a life threatening injury, with the bleeding it wouldn't take long until it was going to be. Crosshair's pace picked up into a jog.
You were silent the rest of the way to the ship no longer struggling against his hold, nothing was going to change his mind. Never had Crosshair so much as flinched or complained about anything, staying still or not having a decent meal for days so that fact that he went against everything to get you to medical equipment. Through his movements you could see his agitation as he quickly stripped you of your chest armor grabbing the massive med kit practically slamming in on the desk next to you.
"If you wanted my clothes off you could have just asked," you coughed painfully as the adrenaline starting waning.
"Quiet," he replied quickly putting an IV into you and gel patches, "Almost done," he hissed into the com.
"Bring the ship when your done," Hunter ordered.
"I'll be right back," Crosshair said eyeing the patches before stalking off to the cockpit.
You laid in the bed feeling traces of his delicate touches but moved to cover yourself when the boys get on board. You heard shouting but it didn't make sense, maybe you felt a few light touches but the adrenaline had warn off and pain speckled your vision. The shouting started again but this time you knew it was Crosshair. You saw his hands in his now messy silver hair pacing squinting at the medical equipment, if his eyes could shoot the machine would be have been riddled. The moment he saw you looking at him, he froze composing himself back to the dutiful calm soldier.
You saw you had been uncovered with Tech's hand quickly working around the wound, "Apologies, Crosshair's minimal medical skills bought enough time for us to return and nearly get to a medical center. You will make a full recovery."
You could tell even with how much Cross was trying to hide it but he was worried. You opened your mouth to tell him to come sit but he dismissed himself for weapons cleaning and quickly leaving. Staring at his retreating form you blinked wondering if you miss read him, thankfully Tech didn't say anything else before re-covering you while alerting you that they will be arriving soon.
"I'm going with her," Crosshair stated cleaning the barrel of his fire puncher.
"You abandoned your post leaving us vulnerable!" Hunter reprimanded.
"She would have died. We don't leave our own behind."
"He has a point," Wrecker said looking towards Tech approaching, "How's she?"
"She will recover."
"You're not going."
"Court Marshal me then, Hunter," Crosshair growled grabbing his kit heading back to where you laid. He sat silently looking at your closed eyes but saw the steady rise and fall of your chest before returning his attention back to cleaning his kit. He growled watching Wrecker walk in, he eyed the man but stayed quiet as he took a seat next to him.
"I think ya did the right thing," Wrecker offered, "You two are cute."
Crosshair's eyebrow furrowed, "Me too." He saw you shift, taking a swift step the side of your bed, "What you need Cyar'ika?" he whispered trying to keep Hunter from hearing the softness in his tone. He felt your fingers brisk against his, "Give us some space," he looked at Wrecker who was smirking as he got up. Carefully Crosshair climbed into the tiny cot curling his arm around you kissing the top of your head, "Next time we're staying together." You and me, together.
~
As promised upon waking from the dream, you felt a warm bodily mass pressing into your back. You turned seeing the lights and shadows harshly highlighting his signature features. Moving just a hair his eyes fluttered open but the bags seemed bigger under his eyes today. You let your finger touch the bags with a small sigh twisting towards him, "We can go back to sleep," you offered in your best alluring voice snuggling closer to him.
His gentle fingertips brushed around your ear, "I rather spend the day with you," just one good day, that's all I need. Crosshair hadn't slept much, his mind kept him awake trying to make sense of the inner conflict between what he can do and should do. He ripped the covers back smirking as he saw you start shivering, "Sorry darling."
"Evil!" You jested pulling the blanket back but it had already lost its warmth.
"I can warm you up," he whispered seductively.
"Maybe after breakfast-," you breathed watching him lean closer pinning your hands at your sides, "What if I want you for breakfast," he leered waiting for a response.
"Someone's in a mood," you said eyeing the starved expression on his face, "Must have been some dream."
"I haven't woken up yet," he said gracefully pulling himself away between your legs, "Food does sound good," he added not wanting to make you uncomfortable with his advances. He searched the floor flooding up his discarded garments, he folding them before grabbing both of you a fresh set of clothes, "Go shower."
"But-" you saw the hitch in Crosshair's eyebrow, reluctantly you got out of bed knowing if you didn't he was going to through you over his arm and make you. There was nothing like a warm shower in the morning to ease your tired soul into the day. The mirror exposed marks of Crosshair's secretly sinful nature, your finger tips brushed the marks each spot still tender to the touch. Parts of your body still tingled from last nights love. The water alleviated some of the skins ache like a dried out mon calamari, you closed your eyes and dunked your head back letting the water completely rush over you. Quietly you heard him open the door before joining you in the shower. You watched as he soap lathered his skin delicately washing his extremities and muscles.
"What" he asked letting the water soak him off.
"I've almost forgotten how handsome you are," you gave a sad smile, tearing threatening to fall. Quickly you retreated from the shower drying off to throw clothes on. A loth-wolf in bantha fur, he's cold blooded killer but as beautiful as the stars themselves how easy it was to forget around him. He walked out in nothing but a towel around his waist.
You stared watching him smile putting his hand on his hip sticking it out a little, "See something you like," he teased letting the towel slip just barely to expose the v in his abs.
"You have no idea," you mumbled tossing him his clothes.
Putting his hand on his hip letting the towel fall to the floor, Crosshair caught the flying clothes with one swoop of his hand, "Thanks, Cyar'ika," he smiled pulling the garments on. He saw the flustered expression across your face his smiled widening, "Breakfast?" he asked eyeing the new scarf laid out at the end of the bed, the style reminiscent of his hair. He let his fingers feeling the material, soft and insulated, he wrapped the garment around him letting his hands drift to the mostly empty pockets already finding a container of toothpicks waiting for him. After all this time, she's still to kind for me. Crosshair pulled one out letting it rest upon his lips like the morning dew.
Day by day, you rested your head on his shoulder for a moment before grabbing the key, “I saw a couple places last night, let’s see what your tastebuds are up for today.”
“My pallet is more agreeable nowadays,” he smirked.
“I’ve tasted Imperial gruel, I would hope so,” you laughed watching his face flat line, “Sorry,” you mumbled seeing the barely perceptible annoyance lace his features, “It’s really not that bad-.”
“Quiet,” he gritted opening the door motioning for you to go. He took a moment to pull you to him, his lips holding yours intensely before letting go. He clenched his jaw for a moment and pulled the door shut hoping his plan goes accordingly.
You sighed walking listening to his light footsteps follow. You looked over at him with the dawn illuminating his features, today more life colored his features even with his annoyance shadowing it. Smiling you took his hand for a moment squeezing it before letting go watching his face lighten up. You felt Crosshair slip his hand into yours gripping your hand as if his life depended on it you looked at his side profile seeing him looking at you out of the corner of his eyes before returning to the path ahead. Gently you tugged him towards the direction of one of the breakfast places asking his opinion of what sounded good. Hearing his laugh and wit settled the longing your body felt, the galaxy felt right again everything back to how it always should have been.
Crosshair slid into the booth across from you watching your lit expression as you scanned the menu. The atmosphere was peaceful, being you eased the burdens in his soul. He watched you rearrange your silver wear and cup placement, a small quirky thing you did similar to him. This is what it could be like, every day, he smiled, all you have to do is come peacefully with me. He played with his fork tapping it on the table silently counting down the minutes, wondering if you could ever forgive him or if he would ever forgive himself. His mind had wandered time to time wondering what it would be like with no brothers to be jealous of, just the two of you together again like it should have been. You and me, together. He saw the ship approaching in the distance, he sighed setting down his bite of food, “Being a soldier is all I’ve ever known, war is forged in my blood and bones but you are the only thing in my heart.” He watched the color drain in your face, “Come with me, come home.”
Your hand pulled back as you saw the white moving towards the door, “My fate was sealed the moment we landed,” you gave him a small smile taking a data chip out from your pocket and sliding it towards him, “For when you come home.” You stood folding your hands behind your back finding two familiar brown haired men approaching with the stomach curtling Cheshire smiles, “Admiral Tarkin, Rampart,” you said politely.
“Good job, Commander,” Rampart said not looking but handing Crosshair an armor case, “Now isn’t it my favourite Rebel.”
You pressed the button on your communicator letting the batch know of your capture before dropping it to the ground and stomping it into thousand of tiny pieces. Taking a deep breath you looked to find him changed back into the garments of war, scarf and helmet in hand. You gave a small nod, last night the intimacy and closeness, you should have known because that wasn’t him. As the betrayal settled in your mind, your gaze locked with his - your eyes held no hatred only understanding, acknowledging that in Crosshair's betrayal all he wanted was for you to be with him; both of you mutually ruined for anyone else even if it meant the end of one another. This is who he is, he made that decision on the platform and nothing changed his mind. Crosshairs greatest downfall was his loyalty. Tears fell out of the corner of your eyes, rolling down your face but you didn’t make a sound.
“Willingly come with me,” Crosshair whispered staring you, “We can be a team again, we can have purpose again, live instead of hiding like vermin.”
“Crosshair is dead,” you uttered turning your attention to the brown haired men, “I’m ready, Rampart.”
“Oh I have something far worse then death in store for you,” he said beckoning the storm troopers forward.
"Take her to The Doctor for her... rehabilitation and re-integration," Crosshair's eyes threaten to go wide at Admiral Tarkin’s word but he forced them to stay as is watching the injector put you to sleep, ending your struggle against them, "Don't worry, Commander, next time you'll see her - she'll be just as loyal to us as you are. Hopefully she’ll give us the information to find your brothers, so they can join us as well.”
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Summary: After Crosshair joined the empire you went looking for him and eventually found him but he wasn’t the man you remember, temporarily free from the empire Crosshair has to figure out whether he’s staying to make amends or rejoin the empire 🖤Smut with an Angsty Plot🖤
Warning: Cannon typical violence, Order 66, Pinning, former established relationship, emotional turmoil, eventually smut, Crosshair’s depression, Crosshair’s head wound, Happy Flashback. || This is a darker series ||
Word Count: 9k ~ Song Ships in the Night / Mat Kearney
Masterlist ~ Part I
Imaginary red speckled your hands as you searched them, Am I no better then him? I've see what he's capable of, the only one who truly knows and I'm willingly proposing to send him back. A short burst of maniacal laughter spilled out as your heart rate vibrated through your chest. You covered your free willed lips with your trembling hand but Hunter had already walked back in and sat on the beds edge next to you his tenderness squeezing your leg which helped settle your trembling form.
Hunter ignored Crosshairs shallow breathing in the door way when he spoke, "Are you sure you want to go down too why not just let him find his own way?"
"Penance," you whispered the black scar on your heart threatening to rip itself open again, "My Crosshair is gone..." your voice trialed off to finally met Hunter's concerned gaze, "but I have to know without a shred of doubt that monster isn't him."
"He's Crosshair," Hunter whispered answering the question.
"Are you sure Hunter?" You looked away, "I loved him, so much..."
"I know," Hunter replied letting go, "and he loved you," Hunter unfolded a tiny piece of paper and handed it to you, "as much as he tried to hide it."
Weakly you took the paper opening it to find another photo of the two of you together, a tender moment on a Naboo balcony his arm around your waist with his usual expression but their was no mistaking the look in his eyes. You could see the photo had been reopened several times with the deep crinkle marks, "Why did you never show me?" you asked still staring at it.
"Incase there was ever a day you doubted it. Keep it," Hunter stood up staring down at the photo, "Tech says preparing to land." You followed Hunter out taking the available seat.
"Any particular area?" Tech asked as all of you entered the atmosphere.
"There's a small town near the port I'm fond of."
"When where you here long enough to be fond of one?" Crosshair said looking at you.
"Wouldn't you like to know, snarky," the teasing endearment fell out, your upper lip twitched into a sneer before typing in the coordinates for Tech. You felt Crosshair's eyes searing into you as you slide back into your seat. You brought your leg up setting your cheek on it as you unfolded the picture. A small genuine smile gracing your face as you looked at it, not just because of the intimacy captured in the photo but how it had become a playful game between the brothers to catch these moments. How simple life had been. You folded the photo back up and tucked it your pocket finding Omega standing over you who had also been looking at the photo.
"You both look happy."
"Prying is rude, Omega" you replied flatly, "but yes."
"This place is a dump," you heard Echo grumble, looking up you smiled finding the city the same before the Empire, "Are you sure? There has to be better areas."
"No one would think twice of looking for us here. I'll take a com and my go pack," you looked at Echo's grumpy expression as Tech landed. Echo had always been your closes confidant and best friend especially in Crosshair's absences. He was the first out of his seat hugging you ignoring Crosshair's glare that it went on a couple moments to long. "See you later, Corporal," you said cheerfully, goodbye was to final but you both knew the odds. He didn't say anything when he let go giving you a solider's nod which he only reserved for Captain Rex. You would have sworn Wrecker broke a rib picking you up.
"Last chance," Hunter whispered hugging you once the three of you got to the ramp.
"If I die, bury the photos in my place. Don't hate him for it," you swallowed feeling him go ridged, you pulled back giving him a kiss on the cheek, "Take care of Omega, she can have my cookie stash."
"What didn't you tell us," Hunter said deadlocking his grip around your arm knowing their was more to the story as it seemed to lead in a more finale direction.
"I just told you," Hunter's eyes fell to Crosshair who was rigidly postured like a solider waiting for the next set of orders, "I wouldn't have it any other way," Hunter's hands fell to fist at his side, "You were a squad long before I joined and will be afterwards," you stated resisting the urge to embrace the sergeant again.
Descending the ramp was different this time, it was just a mode of transportation to the reality below but this time is a stairway to hell deciding your punishment. They weren't steps, they were echoes of the souls secrets waiting to be judged. You wondered if any sane person would rationally walk towards their possible death before you looked to him, the former soldier of the Republic had done many suicide mission and came back, maybe that was what this was a suicide mission. Consequently whatever this was didn't matter, depending on the outcome. The bags under his eyes were heavy, the small lines in his face more define but how he carried himself showed a broken man steeling himself to the world. You caught him eyeing you in return, shifting your gaze back to the city you silently lead both of you to a hotel. The building was far from fancy but it had a secret reputation.
"A black room if possible, two beds, three nights," you said slipping him a tiny pouch, the man unphased opened it and handed you a key to the suite, "Yes I know the way," you smiled before he could ask.
Both of you went to the fair side of the building ascending the hidden staircase behind a portrait. Crosshair remained silent studying the surroundings as both of you found the black door with the number matching the key. Everywhere else had the generic slide open door however these were old and manual. He took the key from your semi trembling hand and opened it without a word letting you enter first. He took the bed closes to the window, he sat there watching the industrial city move about as small ships flew about and speeders glide.
"I'll find you something less suspicious to wear, are your measurements still the same?" Your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, he gave you a small nod as he flicked a tooth pick into his mouth, "I'll be back in thirty."
He wanted to follow after you but this soldiery time would give him time to think how much had happened today and wonder what was in the pouch. Undoing his armor, he left it in small stacks on the poor excuse for a coffee table as it wobbled lightly at the weight. Just in his blacks he felt naked, overly overexposed to the unknown world around him. He placed himself in the sofa staring at the ceiling, little bits of memory of his life prior to the empire resurfacing. A kiss, a passionate night, fighting, droids, then came the abandonment, loneliness and finally the rage at his brothers but Hunter told him you weren't them. Crosshair replayed your conversation with Hunter what seemed to be a hundred times before it fell into place, if he was ordered too could he? With the chip he could do it as easy as breathing but now without it, he wondered if he still had the resolve. It was to late when he noticed he had curled in on himself when the door opened. When you spend so much time with a person you recognize their tells just from bodily language alone after all this time Crosshair scolded himself for his still being the exact same. He grumbled a noise uncurling himself noticing your eyes peeled themselves from his finely shaped figure and snatched the bag from your hand, "You wish I was that ugly," he snarked. Neatly laying out the new apparel it was reminiscent of time he chose to forget, moments that use to haunt his waking hours in the night. The plan black pants and dark maroon turtle neck fit him best in the moment, he grabbed them and took himself to the refresher to change.
"Only if I could tell if your heart is," you whispered once you heard the door shut. Out of muscle memory you refolded the clothes setting them out in a stack before grabbing your simple entire from the other bag.
"What are those," Crosshair said flatly noticing the still healing blemishes speckled across your shoulders.
"Ask Admiral Rampart," you snapped pulling the shirt quickly on, "Surprised you didn't see us when you walked pass," you knew you shouldn't have said it but the provocation was already out hanging in the air.
"What!" he seethed before backing you into the wall glaring down at you caging you with his arms and his eyes narrowed to slits.
Glaring back at him, "You heard me just fine."
Crosshair's mind flicked to a report he'd accidentally seen on Ramparts desk that he tried to hide, an escaped insurgent and remembered the chipper attitude of the Admiral prior, "What do you know."
"Everything."
His arms dropped, backing away he stuck a fresh tooth in his mouth. Burying his emotions he let his face go blank, "Everything?" he asked flatly not looking at you. Everything to range from absolutely nothing to everything.
"For a man with impeccable eyesight, you didn't see the probe droids."
Crosshair gave a curt nod looking at you looking for any semblance of a lie or sign of rejection but it was like looking in the mirror, nothing. Everything. He looked down at the perfectly stacked clothing, somethings never change even after knowing everything. He took the stack of clothing and put them in the dresser on his side of the bed. Three nights? "What's the plan?" He droned.
"Well I plan to go on a stroll, maybe hit a cantina and a decent dinner. You're free to tag along, or head home, or find company to keep yourself occupied, I hear imps often enjoy the... riveting company" the jab obvious, "However I plan to soak this place in one more time," you shrugged slipping the key into your pocket.
"Have you?" He asked quietly.
"No," you opened the door noting the hesitation before he accompanied you. Electing to ignore the silence, "Ever been here?"
He contemplated the answer and lack of the return question on the matter, "Once."
Pondering if there was a double meaning you looked at him, Crosshair always had the best Sabacc face. Sneaking out the hotel your feet guided you towards an old Cantina on the other side of town. Taking in the bustling little city, it seemed so raw untouched by the empire unlike the other major cities around this one hadn't been collected into the fold yet because there was no strategic value or assets here. One could describe it as beautiful while Echo described it as a dump, to most it was still beautiful no flags hung, no soldiers stationed and no clogged roads for Imperial transports. It was difficult to tell the difference between the natural wind and speeders but after being on a ship so long then only having the freedom to smell the smoke of Kamino it was a lavishly sensation. Noticing an approaching speeder over head, you raised your arms your finger tips catching in the strong wind gusting past and your heart rate picked up at the sensation. Sighing you brought your arms down tucking them at your sides, ignoring Crosshair's questioning expression and impeccable soldier posture, "You need to relax, you stick out like gundark in a room of banthas."
"Don't tell me what to do," he scowled but attempted to relax his posture anyway.
"Says the one listening," you pointed out noticing the tension in his shoulders fading.
"Why three nights?" he got the nerve to ask.
"I'm figuring either you sneak off tonight and contact the empire or we have time to... get to know one another."
"You know me," he said squinting.
"In another life perhaps," you asked looking at him, "know you however? I do not."
Crosshair studied you, "What makes you say that?" he asked watching you stop and stare at him.
You touched the scarred webbing across the side of his head before bringing your hand back to your side, "You're not the same after all of that, you can't be," was all you managed to get out, "I saw everything you did for the sake of that wretched Empire. My Crosshair never would have never slaughtered innocents, wouldn't have followed so blindly... he would never be you."
His hand vice gripped your hand tugging you towards him, "Do you think I had a choice in the beginning," he snarled flashing the scaring, "They knew it activated and never came for me, abandoned me to become a monster for the empire because they prioritized her, the child they didn't even know over me. My brothers," he spat, "betrayed everything we stood for. I had no where else to go," venom laced his words while rage contorted his face, "At least with the Empire I know where I truly stand. Then there's you," he growled, "Treating me as if I'm gone, discarded just like they did to me. You're no better."
"You're right, I am no better. I'm giving you, a monster, an opportunity to survive knowing the devastation you've left in your wake," you hissed back, "I know you didn't have a choice in the beginning, but you do now" you studied him watching the calculation of answers reeling across his face, the rage softening, "You don't have to go back to your brothers and you don't go back to the empire."
"We're both monsters then," Crosshair choose his words carefully, "Neither of us are the same." Do you want to forsake what we had because of what I've had to become to survive? The question died on his tongue, "Why?"
"I'm not ready to give up on Crosshair, I may mourn him but that doesn't mean I'm ready to forget what we had," he didn't even need to ask the question both of you had always had similar trains of thought, "Even knowing everything I know, he is the only thing that kept me going during Rampart's sessions trying to break me." Without thinking about it Crosshair lured you to his barely breathing chest ignoring the public setting as letting his lips brush against yours for a split moment before resting his chin on your forehead.
The speech center of your brain check out for the day at his outburst even through the new clothes aroma he still managed to smell the same. As quick as the outburst had started it ended, he took his arms off of you and backed away as if nothing had happened and started walking. Dazed, you followed after him not sure at this point who was leading who to where. The solidness of him shook you, he was here, alive, not just ghost haunting your memories or a shadow lurking just out of reach. You stumbled over to the nearest ally way, hunched against whatever building trying to get a hold of your spinning head while your stomach grew a swarm of butterflies. How could just a smell do this, but it wasn't just the smell but the eruption of emotions caused by the lips and arms of a ghost. What is happening. You saw him lean against the side of the building looking down at you, "What, thinks it's funny?" You breathed.
"No, let's go back to the hotel," Crosshair kept a collected expression as he recognized the signs.
"If I move I think I'm going to be sick."
"Wouldn't be the first time I've seen you sick," he
mumbled pulling you away from the wall and waiting but a warning never came. Keeping an awkward grip on you, Crosshair maneuvered both of you up in the discreet hotel room above. He placed you next to the refresher feeling your weak grasp clinging to his pants ankle, "Cross," he heard you say weakly noticing how paled your skin looked. He got down sitting next to you, "Yes?" he observed you laying down, setting your head in his lap. Both of you remained silent, but he saw some of your color return. Interesting, he thought. Cross, she said my name. His eyes went wide as he observed your clammy skin and he brought his fingers to your rapid pulse, "What do you need?"
"Nothing," you pulled up disgusting by the show of weakness, awkwardly crawling your way into your bed.
"What do you need." He repeated.
"I need Crosshair," you said tucking your arm under the pillow holding onto it not bothering to peel your clothes as you crawled under the covers. Finger tips finding the photo tucked away in your pocket, you pulled it out and stared at it.
Before you could put it away he snatched it out of your grasp sitting back on his own bed looking down at it, "I'm right here," he muttered staring at it before setting it on the nightstand, "move," he growled peeling his shirt and pulling back the covers climbing in. The sensation of having someone so close made his skin feel as if beetles were trying to burrow out as he pulled your stiff form to him, "relax," he realized how ironic it was due to his rigid nature. Pulling your face to his bare chest, he tangled his legs around yours as he held your waist. Crosshair let out a deep breath as he felt the palm of your hands warm against his chest, finger tips just barely burrowing into him and face pressing into him. He didn't need Hunter's hearing to hear the well practiced silent sobbing, "Cyar'ika," he whispered letting his hand attempt to make soothing circles.
Your hands had a mind of there own as they pushed against him as you stared up meeting the no longer familiar eyes but you saw it just the faintest silver of light in the darkness, "CT-"
"Crosshair," he growled trying to keep the anger from reaching his facial muscles with little result, but it wasn't anger pointed towards you it was towards what Rampart did to both of you. He let you push him stiffening not knowing what you were going to do, "You'll never see me, accept me," forgive me he said flatly detangling himself from you moving to his own bed staring at the ceiling. His fingers traced the familiar tattoo on his face, one you had touch countless times wondering if it was time to also get it removed. He wanted to curse the maker but couldn't find the words to do so that didn't make him curse himself in the process. Slowly everything he was getting ripped away piece by piece and there was nothing he could do about it. He pinched the bridge of his nose squeezing his eyes shut, your whispered confession pulling him out of his thoughts abruptly, "In the darkness hours of the night, I thought of you," he wouldn't repeat what you had said, "the chip didn't take you from me," it was as close to a confession as he could get. He looked over at you, "Were you and Hunter or Echo...?" His stomach dropped at the question that had been gnawing at him at how close you seemed to either of them. It felt like there was more to the story other then just being a squad because there was something there that he couldn't put his finger on.
"No, when you left... Echo is the one who tried to console me so I could keep going, he's my best friend, he was the first person who saw me when they rescued me. Hunter is just Hunter, he's worried about me being with you" you admitted.
"Would you have if I never..." came back?
"No," the answer was quick and precise, "my heart and loyalty was to Crosshair."
"If it wouldn't have been the chip, would you have come with me?" he asked returning his attention to the ceiling.
This time you looked at him, perfect skin, the narrow arch of his nose, a jaw line so sharp it could be use to cut plastoid but there were also unmistakable bags under his eyes, from regretful nights to long missions you couldn't tell. "They asked me that too," you said returning your attention to the ceiling, "My Crosshair would have never joined, at least deep down that's what I hope."
"He's a soldier, what else is there besides war?"
"A family? Kids? Normalcy?" You rattled off several more things knowing it fell on deaf ears.
"Didn't answer the question."
"Don't think I would have lasted long seeing how they treat civilians and clones."
"So you would have betrayed me?"
"I would be betraying the Empire, Crosshair. Everything isn't as black and white as your narrow mind thinks it is."
"Narrow mind?" he sat up glaring, "Betraying the Empire would be betraying me."
"Except Crosshair isn't the Empire, he's just a wheel in a cog propelling it. He's just a man not a concept sweeping the galaxy in eternal dictatorship," you watch his eyes squint but he laid back down.
"I don't think we should talk politics."
"We should before you execute me, make me understand your reasoning."
"I wouldn't."
"Then you would be betraying the empire by going against an order," you stated seeing the contemplation reeling across his face, "when it's given, that is."
He heard his knuckles pop from how hard his fist were clenched, "You claim not to know me, yet you risk your life for mine?" he growled, "What's the point in remembering, if I don't exist?" he got up facing the wall laying his hands flat against it resting his forehead against, "The universe is erasing me, just another meaningless clone in the masses" he whispered. It was the whisper of a man on the verge of snapping. His palm hit the wall leaving an noticeable crack.
You sat up staring at his muscular back, the tension knots visible, "Says the man who will barely look at me and wants nothing to do but pick fights," you watched him spin on his heel standing to full height, very step calculated as he moved as he stared down his jaw set as he leaned down getting face level with you.
"I've never been one for words," grabbing a tooth pick from his pocket he stuck it between his lips waiting to gauge your reaction to the proximity. You're eyes were trapped on him, a memory of a smiled pulled at his lips. The first real one he'd had in a long time, "This is what you wanted," he said noticing the tiny hint of fear in your features. He leaned in, "Omega is right, I don't recognize you either but at least I'm trying."
You bit the end of the tooth pick sliding it between your own tooth, "You don't think I am either."
"No."
You let out the breath, "You're right, all I see is who you've become because I can't see who you were. The man in that photo had love in his eyes for me but you don't seem too," the dagger in his heart twisted, "Crosshair loved me but I don't think you do. I think your chasing a memory to hope to feel something again," the dagger ripping out his still beating heart.
He plunked the toothpick out of your mouth snapping it with his fingers before casting it to the ground, "Are you actually going to force me to say it back?" Crosshair whispered letting fingers found your chin forcing his facial features soften. His face barely felt like his own anymore, the vulnerably and raw emotion he let show across it were so foreign compared to his usual demeanor. Weakness was everything he tried to cull in himself serving the Empire because it wasn't a luxury he couldn't afford anyone to know. Attachment, love, remorse and the unyielding presence of guilt that kept him up in the dead of night regardless of how much he tried to shove it aside it forever lingered on the edge of his consciousness. He waited letting you take in the love, pain and the ache of desperate longing he felt deep with in the dark confines of his broken soul.
His hand was cold against your face but you didn't pull away. You stared at him while the darkness in his eyes was a remainder there was still a beast inside part of who he use to be was fronting. The grip softened, dropping to his knees forcing himself to look up at you. Confessions of his bared soul laid before you to judge. Silently begging you to deem him as sinner so he could find his penance before begging for the salvation of only thing that could stitch together the remnants of his shattered soul, love. There were no secrets, every transgression you were already privy to. You didn't recognize this side to him, grabbing his hand you pulled you him back up towards you onto the bed. Fingers dug into him pulling him close except this time he was the one who silently wept as he downturned his face into the pillow.
"Cross," you breathed pressing your face into the center of his chest. You felt his legs wrap around yours and his arms cage you, he didn't want you to see him like this and you weren't going to force him to let you.
Finally pain stopped shedding from his once barren tear ducks, his eyes found the wet spot in the pillow and flipped over the pillow to hide the annoyance of the outburst. His thin fingers found the collar of your shirt, he paused for a moment with your tense at the touch before he proceeded to open the collar staring at the injection marks. They will vanish with time. His jaw clamped at the frustration you had been right there next to him for who knows how long and how far everyone went to hide it. He wasn't stupid enough to look you up in the system and when he did ask they had side stepped the question. I am a soldier, stop being so soft. She's capable of handling herself, she knew what could happen. Crosshair let out a deep everlasting breath composing himself. He let himself indulge on the feeling on your warm breath against his pectoral muscles as your fingers clung to him almost in fear that he would disappear if you let go. Two strangers with a lifetime of memories, which once transcended what Crosshair ever thought possible for himself, who both now clung to the specter of the other trying to find any semblance of that lifetime in this one. He wasn't a fool, his story would never have a happy ending but for now he could at least have a tiny slice of what was.
"Do you want to try going out again?" he asked releasing the possible double meaning of his uncarefully spoken words, "I could use a drink," he added.
"Yeah," you pulled away not able to look at him. You fluffed out his shirt and handed it to him. Feeling his slender form blocking your path to door, you finally looked up at him. His face at regained his regular snarky yet stern appearance but you could see the traces of red in his sclera. You watched him put his shirt one, his eyes only for a brief moment breaking contact as he stood there silently observing. "Yes?" you finally asked after he continued not to move.
"We'll never be who we were before," he said this time attempting to choose his words carefully, "If the war has taught me anything, it is anything can be rebuilt with time," he turned leaving you there for moment to ponder his words as he headed for the exit.
You followed after him wondering if he meant the two of you or the Empire. He had always been allusive with his wording, leaving it open ended and up to interpretation when it came to anything that wasn't on the battle field. Noticing his rigid posture return you caught up to his side flicking his shoulder. Hearing a small grunt you saw them relax. Instead of walking this time, you hailed a cab to the cantina. Scowling when you saw the disapproving eyebrow arch of his when the both of you exited the cab at the dingy place. He let you guide him inside, the place was reminiscent of 79's. You walked up to the counter to order drinks surprised when he followed you up.
"Corellian Whiskey," he said before you got the chance to speak.
You arched an eyebrow, "Make that two," you said putting the credits down. The bar tender took them and handed both of you the shots, downing them you both did another around. Crosshair tapped for two more before both of you wandered off to a nearby table.
"Why this place?"
"Just call me sentimental."
"This is boring," Crosshair murmured feeling out of place without a talkative group.
"Dance?" you asked nonchalantly remembering how at peace he seemed on the dance floor.
"Don't have to ask me twice," he said getting out of the seat.
"Actually if you remember, I did."
"You have two left feet and no rhyme."
"You were slow dancing to techno."
"And?"
You rolled your eyes, a pit forming in your stomach at how easy the banter was after all this time realizing how deeply you missed it. Staying on the outskirts of the floor both of you had fallen into step, thankful that your feet remembered even if your mind had almost forgotten saving you the embarrassment of stepping on him. The touch of his hands where cool in contrast with the fire in his gaze. You removed one of your hands from his placing it on his waist and he responded in kind doing the same. His fingers slide up your shirt just barely to where his thumb and index finger rested on your skin, solidifying you were really there. You moved your hand up to his neck letting your fingers dip under the turtle neck barely.
Cautiously Crosshair took one step closer hovering above your face, "Cyar'ika," he whispered ignoring the harshness of the alcohol on his tongue leaning in letting his mouth hover over yours.
"I think you drank a little to much," you whispered but didn't pull back.
"No," he whispered letting his whole hand trail up to your curve while his mouth bridged the tantalizing gap. His mouth was desperately locking with yours, almost a year apart had almost made him forget the sensation of you.
You pulled away panting, "You can't be kissing me like that in public," the words came out slurred not due to the alcohol but the mind numbing sensation of him.
"I can and will," he said pulling your mouth back to his.
You felt the gentle pressure of his tongue press against your lips, your heart was already going light speed but you opened your mouth for him. You let his tongue explore as much as he needed it too, gently time to time nipping down on his tongue playfully. By the time he pulled away your hand was trembling on his neck. Both of you were panting as you looked at each other. Without realizing it you had started crying, "Crosshair." His arms were around you in a moment guiding you away from the crowded dance floor towards an empty both. You watched him flag down the service droid for some napkins. Your fingers bunched the shoulder of his shirt, you wanted to hate yourself for needing him after everything you've witnessed but there was nothing else in this galaxy that could fill the void in your chest except his presence.
Gently his hand covered yours, "What do you need?" He had never been a comforting person, less so now but he always tried.
Your fingers unbunched his shirt just enough to barely pound his shoulder with the side of your hand before you talon cling to the fabric again, "Are you really... Crosshair...?" you choked out.
"Unless you know someone else with that name," he verbalized pressing his teeth together.
"Are you... my Crosshair," you clarified.
"Since day one."
~ Days of the Republic; Reassignment ~
The Corellian Well Cantina, you scoffed at the name as you pushed open the unfamiliar door. Spirits burnt the hairs of your nostrils with the spiced scent of whiskey and poorly mopped up over indulgences. The lighting was less then ideal for this priority meeting nor the atmosphere but discretion had been of the utmost importance for whatever reason. Taking in the clientele you didn't see any familiar facial features of the man you were looking for. Playing on your data pad trying to pass time until you heard the familiar clone voice standing at the end of the table. Shocked you blinked rapid finding him in civilian clothing, one's that definitely were borrowed, and a poor fitted hat but the face, the voice and the scar killed the doubt of who was standing before you.
"Com- Cody," you whispered motioning for him to sit.
"Sorry for all the secrecy," he said scooting in besides you, "but this unfortunately requires it for the time being," he passed you a data pad, "You're being reassigned to a Kaminoan black ops squad, Experimental Unit 99, effective immediately as their handler."
"Sir?! My other-."
"Everything has already been taken care of. We head to Kamino when your finished reading."
"Do you vouch for this?" you stared into the eyes of best man and friend you've known since joining GAR.
"I have taken them personally on black list missions. Their not like my men and I, their wild and unorthodoxed but unquestionable resolve, determination and they get results we need. I vouch for them and you taking this assignment."
You nodded turning on the pad, eyes going wide reading about their individual enhancements, "I didn't even know that was possible," you were aware that commando's were made differently and enhanced but nothing like this. Barely done reading Cody was already tugging on your sleeve to leave. You followed him with your face still in the pad reading their personality profiles scowling once you read Crosshair's, "He's going to be fun," you grumbled.
"Crosshair?" Cody smirked seeing the small nod.
"Trust me, you've worked with Neyo. Crosshair pale's in comparison."
"Is this my apology for you assigning me that asshole?" You deadpanned.
"More or less, these boys could change the tide in this war. However their.. lack of people skills and lack of following direct orders posses a problem."
"Which is why I'm going to be the diplomatic buffer," you sighed, "You're lucky you're my favorite."
The jump to Kamino was silent, by then the Commander had stripped himself of the civvies back into his white and orange armor, "They'll be making their debut soon, with you officially now on this assignment I wouldn't be surprised if they moved it up but it'll give you time to meet them."
You've been on Kamino before but the path you were taking was foreign. It was the service passages, 99... you bowed your head for a moment of silence for the man who once roamed these halls. Catching back up to the Commander you saw he was thinking about him too, the stern expression but the distance in his eyes. He was just letting his body just guide him through his halls. "I'm glad you trusted me for this assignment," the interruption was enough to pull him out of his head as you recalled that he was here at the bold attack of Kamino.
"They won't be here much longer as their getting our own barrack room with everyone else," Commander Cody knocked on the ancient door before letting the both of you in. They were already standing at attention when the both of you entered, "Woman in company," he said your name then repeated each of there's as a formality even though you had already read their files, "At ease," quickly they relaxed sitting back at the large table in the center, "All of your stuff is in the room next door."
You rolled your eyes, "Of course it is."
"I'm the sarcastic one," you looked up to see the grey haired man rolling a toothpick to the other side of his mouth smirking eying you over the dismantled weapon he was cleaning.
"Technically she wasn't being sarcastic but-"
"Shut up," Crosshair grumbled.
"Tech's head is full of knowledge he likes to dump at every opportune moment, you'll get use to it," Hunter said studying you trying to get accustom to your scent and sound, "or use to drowning it out."
"That knowledge has saved our lives on multiple occasions-."
"We get it four eyes," Crosshair said flicking his tooth at his brother who batted it away without looking. He returned his attention for the most part back to the weapon keeping you in his peripheral vision amused that Wrecker ran over picking you up squeezing you before dropping you back down.
"Huh, you're small."
"Astute as always, Wrecker," Crosshair grumbled.
"Everyone is small compared to you," you pointed out smiling.
"That's true," Wrecker admitted going back to his seat.
"There all yours," Cody laughed, "Boy's, this your personally assigned liaison. Since you don't have a chain of command to report to, she'll be the middle man."
"I am quiet capable of handling and reporting our assignments," Tech said defensively.
"What does this civvie know about the war?" Crosshair said pointedly.
"This civvie," you said curtly, "has been apart of GAR probably longer then your creation, so really what do you know about this war?" you tossed back.
"She's served with the 91st Mobile Reconnaissance Corps during the Battle of Geonosis and as aid of the 212th since. I expect you to treat her respect," Cody eyed him.
"Crosshair didn't mean any disrespect ma'am," Hunter tossed a glare at his brother.
"I've had read his file, I am aware of his quips but thank you."
"Good luck," Commander laughed, "I have to get back, I'll send Neyo your regards."
"You can send him to hell instead," rapidly batting your lashes at him.
"He's already going there," Cody coughed under his breath waving as he left.
Hunter at pulled out another chair offering you a place to sit. He hadn't taken his eyes off of you since you entered the room. None of them had been around female nat borns as all of their instructors had been males and even when they had gone off world on assignment they mostly ran into separatist forces. On the occasional they had ran into the native inhabitants Commander Cody had dealt with them and Tech for his helmet translator. Hearing Tech whisper that staring was impolite, he finally turned his attention back to the vibro blade he had been sharpening.
"This is weird," Wrecker nervously chuckled.
"There is nothing we can do, we must accept her assimilation into this squad and continue," Tech replied trying the chess board, singly playing it by himself as that was the only way it was stimulating, "Perhaps some training simulations to test her aptitude in combat?" Tech purposed.
"Let's show her how a real squad handles themselves," Crosshair smiled reassembling his fire puncher.
"Practice or live rounds?" you folded your arms over your chest.
"Li-," Crosshair started before Hunter interjected, "Practice."
"Boring," you scoffed, "I'll grab my gear, sim room 2b good enough?"
"Yes that shall suffice," Tech nodded standing up from him game grabbing his helmet off his buck.
You saw Hunter cock an eyebrow when you said boring but before he got a chance to question it you turned dipping into the room next store, smirking when your armor attachments had already been laid out. Cody had probably assumed this was going to happen sooner or later. You flicked on the familiar armor sliding the various weapons into place. Each of them were already armored up by the time you were done and waiting outside the room, "I would have caught up."
"Sure," Crosshair said sarcastically.
"I'm not the old man," you shrugged pointing at the silver peppered with night and salted with light hair much to his offense.
"Haha she called you old," Wrecker said clapping his brothers back.
You noticed the glaring squint in his eye as you entered the training room, "I'll take west, you take east end?" you smiled at the sniper, who only rolled his eyes, "Your loss."
All of you waited in the center of the room waiting for the droids to activate. The boys were saying something but the adrenaline had already awoken shooting through your blood stream. The moment the droids activated all of you were off. Much to the annoyance of Crosshair you beat him to and up the west tower.
"Knife!" Crosshair called staring at the droid in Tech's blind spot watching you instinctively throw it at the droids head, he shot the knife watching it drop perfectly into the droids skull.
From the perch above the two of you worked in unison picking off droids, Hunter was impressed by the advanced skill. Recon officer? Hardly. He saw Crosshair eyeing you from across the battlefield, one eye on the battle field, one eye on you the whole time. There was an very noticeable shift in the group with the new addition, especially with Crosshair. Hunter felt the shot before his eyes had captured what had transpired, a droid actually climbing up to Crosshair's advantage point then you taking a shot at the droid wizzing passed Crosshair's ear. He turned for a moment watching the droid fall to the ground before returning his attention to the battle. Always watching his brothers back, he often forgot to watch his own not that he would never admit it.
Wreckers jaw slacked witnessing it, "Did you see that?" hollered to Tech.
"That's never happened before, both the droids climbing nor Crosshair missing such an obvious-."
"Shut up," Crosshair seethed through the com, thankful the simulation ended. He jumped down bouncing between the wall and the tower and sliding down to the center platform. Slinging his fire puncher across his back he watched you poorly climb down the tower and head there way. At least she doesn't have all of my tricks, Crosshair thought.
"I am impressed," Tech admitted once you had caught up.
"Marshal Commander Neyo is unrelenting in training."
"So I've read," Tech said staring at the clone's profile, "I think that simulation has provided me with enough data that I can make an accurate assessment of your combat skills without needing another trial run."
"She got lucky," Crosshair sneered removing his helmet.
"I think you got lucky."
"Oh I haven't gotten that lucky yet" he leered in your ear walking pass sticking a toothpick between his lips.
"I wouldn't blame you for suddenly being reassigned," Hunter grimaced staring after his brother.
"I'm use to it," you shrugged staring after the enigmatic man. There was something dark stalking his uncommonly dark irises compared to his brothers, a lone predator always circling but never pouncing. While his brothers eyes echoed burning bark, Crosshair's were the color of the forest floor riddled with hidden dangers. While Neyo's eyes terrified you to even look at, Crosshair's made you want to study them whether it was face to face or under a microscope was still up for debate.
"Something in your mind?" Hunter smiled staring at your lost in thought expression.
"Huh? Oh nothing, just wondering how the boys are reacting to my reassignment."
"Your scent says different," he chuckled, "His too."
"I already hate this."
"Between Hunter's senses and our close proximity to one another, there is never any secrets between us. There is never such thing as privacy with us just so you are aware," Tech pointed out.
"You're slow," Crosshair mumbled from his bunk.
"So is your charm Cross," you said sliding back into the chair digging out your pad finding a short 'Congrats on the promotion,' from Neyo. Anything is a promotion away from you, you were tempted to type back but instead going the safe route saying thank you.
Hours later the boys were ready to turn in for the night so you excused yourself from their quarters disappearing into your own, it was cramped having an apartments worth of stuff cramped into the small space. Even though Cody or whoever had tried to perfectly replicate the set up it just hadn't felt relaxing enough to sleep. You took yourself up the ship docking bay watching the waves crash against the wall.
"Where do you think you're sneaking off too?" Crosshair mused joining you at the railing after he had discreetly slipped from the bunk room after hearing the faint opening on your door curious if you were leaving after his comment.
"Somewhere far away from you," you said sarcastically.
"You didn't go far enough," he poked back failing to hide the amusement at your witty tone relaxing that you weren't upset with him.
"Excuse me, let me just go grab my bathing suit," you rolled your eyes finding his for a moment looking into yours.
"Is it black?" he said mischievously.
"Like I'd tell you."
"I rather you show me."
"Step on a duresteal bolt," momentarily the soldier was standing in front of you glaring. The darkness consumed his eyes but sparkled his frosted hair. Long thin fingers gripped your chin, you watched as he turned shooting his toothpick into the ocean below before his attention returned to you.
"I'm the sarcastic one in this squad."
"We'll see," the comment turned his blood to a consuming flame. Crosshair wasn't use to anyone challenging him let alone anyone competent enough to keep up with them or enough to watch his back. He waited but you didn't pull back, a predatory smile tugged at his lips, "Go to bed, Cyar'ika," he pulled away, the pounding of his heart barely keeping his breathing even. His eyes caught your confusion at the sudden lack of physical contact and the pet name, "Did you think I was going to kiss you?" he let out one laugh trying to conceal the nerves threatening to spill over, "Not on the first date," he added before you had a chance to speak before weak limbed walking himself back to his bunk.
"Calling dibs?" He heard Hunter chuckle.
"Shut up," he menaced.
"Not pairing I forecasted," Tech muttered taking out his pad, "statistically you two had the lowest probability, I shall need collect further data about her."
"Shut up," Crosshair repeated.
"You would be teasing one of us, Crosshair if the roles were reversed."
"No I would be shooting one of you," he snarked, his lip twitching up into a sneer already uncomfortably with the thoughts of them being around you knowing if his mind was this clouded their's had to be the same way, "Go to bed," he growled turning towards the wall. His mind was foggy with anticipation he saw across your face regardless of his poor attitude and how perfect you looked on the tower as much as his failure to notice the droid enraged him. He was astonished at how quick you responded to the threat and didn't seem to hold the failure over his head nor hesitated coming to his defense even after his generally rude behavior. Out of all them, he was the last one who deserved a chance but he may have been cocky enough to believe he was the handsomest out of the bad batch. At some point during his self scolding he had passed out not before realizing how far he had fallen.
~
Crosshair pulled you out of the resurfacing memory, brushing your hair back with his hand. While he was still upset at the idea you didn't want to see him, he wasn't going to deny himself the small luxury of being touched. Once he would pulled away at the public display not wanting anyone to see the man under the suit of armor but he wasn't that young and naive anymore. Older now, he learned you could lose everything on a moments notice. While losing Kamino hadn't necessarily upset him as it had been hell for every CC not to mention dealing with the regs, his brothers betrayal had scarred him greatly.
"I don't know how you're still in there," you whispered taking in the familiar structure of his face. You let your fingers trace the tattoo around his eye which you had done thousands of times before.
Crosshair squeezed your wrist, "please stop implying I was gone," there was an edge to his voice anger or desperation he couldn't tell.
You swallowed staring at him then your wrist finding finger imprints from his grasp. Rubbing the tender spot, he placed the cold glass of water the droid had brought over with the napkins to dull the ache. He pulled the glass back after a couple minutes of silence rubbing it with his thumb before you looked back at the returned stern expression, “I’m okay Cross…”
“I’m going for a walk, alone,” he said sliding out, “Stay here.” Crosshair ran his hand against the hideous scar which set his teeth on edge. Nothing but a disfigured monster, he thought, I’m a soldier bred for war and for a purpose of bringing peace, kark the empire for the chips but this is what we were all made for in the end. Crosshair carefully walked down the street eyeing every land mark so he could back track. Thoughts darted through his mind like a native mon calamari bouncing between water currents. Every thought making his skull rattle from one bouncing thought to another. He had prayed that the solitude would help but it had the opposite effect leaving him more confused and angry.
You sat alone for eternity before letting the batch know that for now you were safe and fine. Smiled when Echo replied instantly that they all missed you and to keep them appraised when you could. Peering out the black out blinds you noticed the light was rapidly suddenly setting like the feeling in your gut about how long he had been gone and that you had no way to get ahold of him. Peering around the now crowded space, you noticed a couple wandering gazing on you further making you anxious wondering if it was because you were beautiful or because they had seen your photo on a most wanted holo. You couldn’t risk finding out, carefully you ducked out of the building before awkwardly waiting out front for a little while longer to no avail. In the past, you had etched the layout of this city into your cortex of Cross was loss you would find him. Just that one day sitting in that cantina had change your life, sure the structure and discipline of your previous assignments had been nice but there had been something so liberating about the change and meeting the batch. Meeting Crosshair. Knowing his eyes you walked opposite of the sun. Your eyes scanned each side alley way with no sign until you looked down finding a single tooth pick.
“Toothprick,” you muttered, continuing your path making sure to periodically look down every handful of paces. You found him slumped up in one of the only trees near the hotel staring towards the sunset, “Get lost, Loth-cat?” you asked.
“I told you to stay there,” he replied flatly staring at the array of colors in the sky.
“And how long ago was that?”
“Lost track of time,” he admitted rubbing his scalp. One leg tucked to his chest with his elbow resting on it touching his head, one leg outstretched and his other hand laid across his lap, he realize he probably looked like a mess. Forcibly straightening out he looked down finding the concern in your eyes, he sighed hoping down landing gracefully on his feet tucking his hands in his pocket. “What are you looking at,” he muttered.
You raised an eyebrow, “You, Loth-cat,” you teased at his sniper’s fondness of being off the ground, “You look good up there.”
“I bet I look even better above you,” he quipped reflexively but his tone didn’t match the words.
You hovered close to him not trying to interrupt his mind, “Back to the hotel?”
Crosshair’s gaze lingered on the setting story of the day, his mind, stomach and heart twisted at his decision wondering if at the end of the day if it was the what was best for the both of you or the galaxy. He offered a single stiff nod matching your pace with his calculated steps so every step fell into sync. Using the corners of his eyes, he watched your pondering expression, “What?”
“I’m surprised you didn’t want me to climb up there with you,” you fibbed.
“Liar.”
“I don’t remember you being this moody, well unless it was in a fun way.”
“Why do you keep trying to force me to be who I was?” he snapped, “Can’t you just accept me for who I am now?” his head feeling like it was going to split at that ugly seam, “This is who I am,” he added flattening his tone. The rest of the walk to the hotel in pain filled silence.
According the language of flowers Foxglove symbolizes riddles, conundrums and secrets along with ambition and creativity.
Summary: A small fancy caff shops pops up in the senate building. Commander Fox is not amused. Fox tries to be the bigger man to let you be, but after hearing about the breakup and his closes Vod trying to go after you; he most definitely can’t help but protect you.
Slow burn, enemies? to lovers, Commander Fox x reader,
Warnings: Angst, Smut, oral (f receiving), smut, cannon violence and talks of cannon related violence.
Part 5 Part 7 (wip)
Masterlist
I really just want to sleep, you quietly groaned hearing the door slid open. Flicking one eye open you found Kix bringing in a glass of water and a bowl of oatmeal. He saw you still in his shirt, giving you a small smile as he set the food in front of you, "How did you sleep?"
"Had a little trouble going to sleep," you admitted omitting the part it took Fox's face between your face to make you go to sleep.
"I would have assumed the opposite, although with the stress, mild guilt and having two strangers in your front room could do that."
"Yeah, are we going to talk?" you whispered, hissing when the door slide open finding Fives walking in.
"Can't take them anymore," he groaned sitting on the floor infront of the closet, "I rather fight a gundark armorless in the snow."
"Their just so upbeat and happy," Kix said drily filling in the gap, motioning for you to scoot over taking the nourishments setting them on the nightstand, "As clones we never truly have anything we can call our own, we are different people but we are the same person so we tend to share everything."
"Echo and I shared ladies all the time," Fives interjected wiggling his eyebrows.
"Butt out," Kix told him, "As I was going to say, that being said. I can't technically be mad, as a doctor I am aware of physical attraction and how it differs even when people nearly look identical. To be mad at you is to be mad at biology. However I can be mad at him, I'm sorry for that; that wasn't fair to you. You did also fall asleep in my shirt and woke up in it," his voice fluctuated between flat to aggressive to leering as his fingers played with the hem of the shirt around your neck.
"I thought they weren't suppose to know," you said tilting your head to Fives.
"I was referring to Bacara and Neyo, along with everyone else. Fives knew something was different the moment you stopped out of the his office."
"I'm the only one who can keep my mouth shut," he added.
"Bantha crap what time is it?" you said looking at the clock that Kix was intentionally blocking.
"You have 15 minutes before you get ready for work, so until then," Kix wiggled down pulling you to him, "How was it?"
"Kix-"
"I told you it was hot, so spill."
Fire bloomed across your face at his interest, "The best really," you awkward said turning your face away from both of them, the blush spreading to your ear as he gently started petting your cheek pulling you closer to his chest letting his finger trace your spine confirming the fact that you did have a reaction it wasn't as strong. Fives mumbled something about a warning if he needed to close his eyes. You buried your face in Kix's chest hearing him snap him to go back to the front room and reluctantly doing so. Fives walked out finding Fox staring at him and then at the two of you, Fives smirked at him before rummaging around in the kitchen for a snack while getting berated from Neyo about searching a civilians domicile. Fives' remark was curt that they all just broke regulations spending the night there which punctually shut him up. Fox's grip on his knee tightened, I can't lose it again not in front of them. Breath Commander. Finally he realized after watching you both leave the room, Kix joining him in the front room you heading off the refresher.
"Well we have to get back to base, we'll be seeing you commander," Neyo said pointedly slipping his helmet on, Bacara following closely behind him also giving a pointed look before passing through the door.
"You were so jealous," Fives snickered the moment the door closed behind them.
Fox snarled at him to shut up returning his attention back to the holo playing, "Stop staring," he glowered at Kix.
"Not going to join her in the shower?" he poked, "No," Fox gave the quick reply, "Suit yourself." Kix stood in the door way of the refresher keeping his eyes modestly on the floor, "Shower's a little warm," he noted both of the steam and that you jumped.
"You could have coughed," you said taking a few deep breaths.
"Just wanted to see if you got flustered."
"Of course I am," you defended, remember how you invited him to shower with you when he got back feeling another pang of guilt.
"Don't worry I'm not joining their isn't enough time," he said as if he was reading your mind, "and not when he's here," Kix added handing you the towel keeping his eyes focused on the ceiling.
You wrapped the towel around yourself, "Better?" you said rolling your eyes finding him finally looking at you with a sly nod. Shaking your head you walked out of the bathroom finding Fox's eye glued to you as you walked back into your bedroom catching the tiny movement of him putting his helmet on. Disappearing back into your room your quickly through on loose fitting pants and a top because wearing that apron it didn't really matter what was worn. Kix and Fox were bickering of course when you stepped back out finding Fives cackling while trying to compose himself, severely failing. You folded your arms over your chest glaring at both of them, "What happened."
"Kix keeps on purposely making him jealous and he keeps reacting to it," Fives said in broken syllables, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, "Seriously guys, put a wrapper on it and stick it. We have to get the lady to work," Fives managed to get out the innuendo holding it together for the most part.
"He didn't use one," Kix said flatly grabbing his bucket off the table, getting smacked from Fives.
"You seriously let him raw? Vod.." Fives said disappointedly ignoring your redden expression.
"I'm clean," Fox defended.
"You've had sex on the counter of 79's," Fives snorted.
"He is," Kix answered, "I tested him in the hall."
You deadpanned, "You planned it?"
"It's not like you didn't enjoy me," Fox replied flatly.
"Unbelievable," you said tossing your arms up leaving them in the dust as you marched towards the train purposefully sitting upfront trying to have space to mellow out before the start of your shift. In with the peace out with the annoyance, you kept repeating the mantra to yourself with every breath but it didn't help because you were still fuming when you arrived. Silently feeling them tailing you. Practically a storm cloud walking into the building, everyone darted out of your thunderous path. Thankfully today no one crowded the door although there were some troopers waiting, you quickly opened the door and closed it behind you. They made the mistake of following you in.
"Get the fark out," you hissed visually sending them daggers, "Yes me screwing Fox was wrong, but I'm not just toy to hand back and forth," you glared directly at Kix, "Just. Get out," you sighed returning your attention to the coffee in front of you.
Kix tried walking forward but Fives pulled him back shaking his head, "Let her cool down, let's go train."
Fox didn't head the warning he opened to the days holo news, sitting at the table closes to the door. He heard, "That mean's you too!" but he didn't react he just sat there reading until he saw you approach the table with a cup setting it in front of him. "Thank you," he said noticing it was full of caf, he looked up to see the scowl on your face faltered for a moment at his manners.
"Explain yourselves," you said flooding your arms over your chest, I want to know just so maybe the anger will calm down.
"We have chemistry. He wanted to know how much chemistry," Fox took his helmet off, sipping the caf waiting for the snarky reply that had to be forming on your tongue. "We don't have chemistry-" before you finished the sentence Fox shot up one hand on your throat and his lips barely hovering in front of yours. "You're pulse, eye dilation at my proximity and change in breathing say other wise," he pointed out smirked looking down into your wide eyes at the boldness. Gently he pressed his lips into yours releasing his hand after feeling another spike in your heart rate and his cock stirring, "Point made," he said sitting back down to hide the growing discomfort, feeling the warm tingle on his lips from the softness of yours. He let his similar lustful expression gaze into yours, his hand going to his combed back hair gently brushing it back noticing you still weren't convinced.
You don't know what irritated you more, the fact he was right or that he had been so forward about it especially here of all places. Watching him cock his head back towards the tiniest window known to man on the door then back at you an arched his eyebrow. You watched him stand up noticing the very prominent caged erection as he guided you behind the counter where no one could see. The tension coiling your body causing warmth to spread like steeping into a hot bath after a cold day. His hands on either side of you locking you in place, the thought of him having you right here caused a warm gush to course through you. Your cheek flush, embarrassed about the reaction to him.
"Believe me now?" Fox leaned in whispering in your ear, "Or do you need more convincing," he added letting his hand trail closer to your waist.
"Someone is bound to walk in," you stammered out as his fingers traced the curve of your hip.
"No one would dare knowing I'm in here," he amused with a smile that exposed his canines, "All you have to say is that you believe me" he said letting finger trail the top of your pants waiting.
"Kix..." you reminded as if his fingers were on fire came off. You watched his hand pat again the counter in contemplation before pulling back.
"Thanks for the reminder," he said walking back towards the table grabbing his bucket leaving. Fox's jaw hurt from how hard he was keeping it shut and his self restraint in order. Getting back to his office seemingly un-noticed he pressed the button to silence him from the world as he took care of himself letting his anger pound him into bliss. Slumping back in his chair he stared at the white mess that coated his glove. He pulled his desk door open finding his pack of wipes for pta baths for days when he practically lived in his office. He groaned noticing the faint stain on his glove, he ripped them off and tossed them into his desk slamming it shut, "Kark it all," he growled seeing you pounding on his door via his holo notification. He pressed the button, blinds and sound barrier going door, "What," he said looking down at you, his dignity covering his head and arms folded inwards covering his hands.
Gently you tried to push him back into his office but he didn't budge, "Fine. Is it just physical between us?"
"There's nothing between us," he closed the door forcing you back, slumping in the chair and pressing the button holding his hand with his hands. Kix was the better choice, kinder, easier to be tolerant, a genuinely more pleasant man. He took his helmet off staring into the visor, Commander Fox, he scoffed, when was the last time I was ever just Fox?
You stared at the door in your face. Nothing? You did your best to shrug it off for the curious eyes looking. Propping the door wide, you opened the cafe for today doing your best to put them out of your mind. As the day progress you realized he was right, Fox had been nothing but insufferable, constantly degrading you and wiping his exploits in your face at every turn. Their was no way it was anything more then just physical attraction, he got what he wanted and literally slammed the door in your face. You sighed for a what felt like the hundredth time before you finally shot Kix a message to come meet you, but he was already waking in with Fives before his pad went off.
"You rang?" He joked leaning against the side of the counter, "What's up Mesh'la?" he whispered.
"I don't get it," you said shaking your head thankful for the pause in troopers, "attraction, why don't we have more of that?"
"There is a lot about attraction we don't understand," Kix's medic tone came out, "There just is or isn't."
"So you can't make more?" you asked arching an eyebrow.
Kix took your hand staring at you, "Come'ere," he said embracing you against his chest ignoring the looks, "I am more then happy just doing this okay? It's nice having a... friend who doesn't share the same face."
"You're so kind.." you whispered, "why couldn't it..." you didn't need to finish the sentence.
"At this rate it isn't going to be Fox either, so cheer up. I got a million brothers, we'll find the right one," he smiled letting you go, "Just not Fives," he laughed watching his brother feign shock at the off handed comment, "Oh please you'd never settle down."
"You got me there," Fives joked, "Something basic Ma'am" he said looking up at the menu.
"Basic?" You blinked, he seemed less then a basic man but you shrugged getting to work handing him the caf once you were done. "What about your shirt?" you whispered to Kix.
He pulled you around the waist resting his chin on your hand, "I wouldn't be opposed if you kept it, I do like seeing you in it... if you want it for movie nights?" he suggested awkwardly.
"It would be nice," you felt the faintest sensation of lips against your head before Kix pulled off, "Something sweet for me before we head back to training."
"That's fitting," you teased not helping the faintest sensation of pain in your heart at the breakup if you could it that. You handed him the cup and he gave you a smile but you noticed the similar pain in his eyes, the smile not reaching further then his well defined cheeks. You watched as Fives and Him walked off, mentally scolding them for not saying see you later. You sighed again but this time it was more out of relief then anything that it had been so peaceful and relaxed. The peaceful feeling ended when Thorn walked in with Fox who stayed at the door as Thorn walked over.
"I take it I missed something?" Thorn observed Fox staying at the door.
"Yeah, Fox and I fought then Kix and I broke up."
"Do me a favor and make yourself a coffee too. You okay?" he asked quietly.
"As good as I can be, does sour face want one too?" You asked tartly watching Thorn press a button on the side of his bucket but you didn't hear him say anything.
"No but make him a commander, easier to question him when he has that thing off," Thorn chuckled, "So I take it you're going to be avoiding 79's for a while?"
"No actually, I'm pretty sure Kix and Fives are dragging me out tonight."
"Weird break up," Thorn said confused, "but that's good you two are still friends. Well if they don't drag you out, I will just let me know," he said grabbing the two caf's from you.
"Of course..." you looked to find Neyo and Bacara at the door, "Is it to early to close up for the day," you scowled.
"Give me ten minutes and I can handle that," he offered.
"No it's close enough anyway, there's no point." You regretted not taking him up on the offer. Minutes seemed to last for hours, every order seemed to take forever to make even if some of them only took seconds to actually make. You blinked rapidly handing the cold brew to the soldier, my day off is tomorrow; who's going to be here for them? It wasn't something you had worked out in your proposal, you opened your pad shooting the question to the HR rep with a quick reply that Commander Thorn had offered to open the place. Maybe I'll have to come in and try it. You never would have anticipated being relieved when Fives and Kix showed up at the end of the shift kicking people out.
"What's this about?" you asked putting your hands on your hips offering an awkward apology wave to the troopers leaving.
Fives wiggled his eyebrows, "You'll see."
"I'm not sure I like this," you laughed closed everything up, quickly spot cleaning.
"I'm apologizing in advance this wasn't my idea," Kix said looking his hands up.
"I really don't like the sound of this," you said your face contorting into smiling confusion finding Neyo particularly looking at you. His eyes squinting before heading across to Thorns office, "Or the look of that," you grumbled.
Fives put him his arm around you, "Trust me, these two things aren't connected. Now here," he said shoving a bag in your hand.
Opening it you found one of your dresses and heels in it, "How-"
"Don't ask."
He shoed you towards the private refresher down the hall. You stared at the dress wondering what shenanigans they usually got up to but this definitely seemed like one they would. You peeled the the work clothes off giving yourself a make shift awkward pta bath, but the seem of coffee forever lingered. Stepping out, both of them whistled at the change. You scowled feeling awkward in your place of work dressed like this. Noticing them both purposely picked here to make you pass both Thorn and Fox's office. Hearing Fives snicker you knew that was definitely the point. Walking there you kept noticing Kix's eyes shifting, having enough you floated near him, "What is it?"
"Fives is-"
"Shut up Vod," Fives said, "Sorry Ma'am no spoilers," he smiled pulling to away from Kix.
Fox watched the three of them trot by smiling as if the big punch line was him. Not realizing his eyes had lingered on the door he missed the unmistakable shape of Neyo approaching, "I think Bacara is wrong, she's definitely a beauty," his tone was flat as he watched the three of them descend in the lift. Fox's hand faltered his pen clicking again the desk, "I'm chasing your former... Lady Friend? tonight." Fox stared up into his vods well masked face, nothing betrayed what was going through his head.
"She is spoken for," Fox asserted picking his pen back up.
"Not according to the conversation I just had with Commander Thorn, she dissolved their union at lunch apparently."
Fox's pen fell again, a growl graced his lips, "Why."
"As I stated she is a beauty. May the best man win," Neyo gave him a smirk, he not no intention of chasing any woman but no one knew better how to push people's buttons then him. Hopefully be pressed the right one, initially he had come to check in with Fox but after his fair amount of eaves dropping his strategic mind got to work. Unfortunately I am going to have to go to at least make it look like I attempted. Neyo was to dignified to let out the sigh boiling in his chest at the realization. It took a while but he finally heard Fox on his heels as he approached the familiar establishment, "Yes, Commander Fox?"
"Marshal Commander Neyo," Fox growled, "Don't even think about it."
"Is that a threat?" Neyo arched an eyebrow at the unfamiliar tone.
"Yes," Fox shoved Neyo's shoulder forcing him to stare at him, "Vod to Vod, don't think about it." Fox clipped his shoulder with his own as he pushed instead finding you automatically, the shade of red perfectly matching his own. Another punch in the gut. He found you awkwardly dancing with one of Kix's blue brothers as he sat at the bar staring. Kix and Fox's eye met, They had broken up. Fox pulled away first blood boiling watching Neyo cut in. Betrayal, that was the feeling boiling up. He watched Neyo whisper something your ear, the grimace on your face before making your to the bar with him in tow as you sat between him and Kix.
"That's not good," Fox heard Fives voice not realizing he was at the commander's table with Rex.
"What are you doing here Arc?" He said flatly squeezing it.
"Trying to spice them up, to hopefully get some of that Mojo," Fives said pointing a finger between him and you, "between them."
"He's to soft for her," it was just that a statement leaving no room for doubt or to be second guessed, "Neyo is too rough for her."
"What are you? Goldilocks?" Fives scowled, "You have to be kidding me," he looked to find Neyo's hand on your leg chatting with both you and Kix. He saw Neyo's eyes lock briefly with Fox's the short evil grin before returning to his neutral expression, "Well, can't be worse then Dogma I suppose."
"Yes it can," Fox heard enough he got up without thinking about it, shoving Neyo's stool back with his foot making his hand break contact before putting himself between the two of you. His eyes narrowed to slits at his batch mate, both knowing full well what the other was capable of and knowing this wasn't the place for that fight. "I said don't even think about it," his voice was venom laced with a ton that he saved only for war criminals and traitors. Out of the corner of his eye he saw you flinch at the tone but he didn't have time to acknowledge that as he stared down Neyo for authority on the subject. He felt your light fingers tap his spaulder, automatically he softened the frighting expression on his face but didn't break eye contact with the man, "Yes?"
"Nothing, remember? Why are you interrupting."
"Principle."
Fox's balled fist flattened on the table, returning his full attention back to Neyo rage returning. Neyo did nothing but smile at the display. He was aware his even more unreadable then Fox, every inch more sadistic and cruel giving him every advantage, "Nothing, proves she isn't yours either," he chose his words carefully but provokingly. He watched him boldly step back his mouth at your neck leaving a claim before standing back in-front of him, "Have I made myself clear enough?"
"You were always the easiest the read and push," Neyo smiled, "Nothing? Keep lying and face the consequences. I proved my point. Ma'am," Neyo nodded standing up, joining a lurking Bacara in the very back darken booth.
"What the actual fuck was that?" You glared.
"Just him being a chip off the old block just as calculated and," Fox grumbled before turning back to you, the anger and frustration leaving his features. Silently noticing Kix remove himself from the moment. "Even for his usual pokes that was way to far."
"Nothing-."
"We both know I lied."
You stared at him, "Sure," you replied sarcastically, "I'll believe that when womp rats fly." You watch Fox pin you with his body to the counter, your heart starting it's embarrassing flutter.
"One date, just you and I."
"Commander-"
"Just Fox," he took a breath searching your eyes for an answer, "What do you say?"
"One," you breathed, "Fox."
Hearing his name on your lips was enough to make him lose his composure and swallow, pulling back he ran his fingers threw his slicked back hair. What the hell, he yanked his hand away dropping it at his side. He gave a small nod turning to walk off but another small whisper of his name made him cock his head to the side waiting for you against his better judgement trying to ignore the look in your eye or the way your breathing was uneven.
What are you thinking? You scolded yourself looking at him. You may have not understood what he was protecting you from but the commanding rage in his voice had set a shiver coursing through your lower extremities. Then the sudden shift to almost anxious and insecure afterwards had confused you but was almost endearing. You kept direct eye contact with him as you rose from the stool, you whispered his name again before walking passed him. This isn't like me... but it's what I need. The feeling him in you, how his body perfectly fit against yours knowing what you needed before you could think it or how a small tug of his hair made him sinfully groan. You saw the red following you out of the corner of your eye, you didn't want to wait for the train back to your place so you paid for a decent clone friendly cab and top speed. Both of you were silent the whole way, scared one word would snap the attention in the air and both of you would be all over each other. It was a trance walk back to the apartment, awkwardly running into both of the neighbors he had done. After feeling him, you didn't blame them for how loud they were.
Both of you were barely in the door when he forced it shut, dragging you to the couch by your hip. He pushed you down the couch letting his face hover by yours but not touching as he reach down pulling the hem of your taunting red dress up revealing the blue underwear underneath. He clenched his jaw quickly using the vibro blade in his vambrace cutting the thin laced sides of the garment before chucking it to the other side of the room in annoyance. He returned his blade noticing the glistening core for him, watching it coat your inner thighs. Not bothering to take off his armor he pulled you to the edge of the couch dropping to his knees pulling your legs over his shoulders. Fox kissed your swollen need, suckling it between his lips.
"Fark," you moaned, thighs clapped against his face as he inserted two fingers rapidly curling against the spongey spot nestled inside, "Donnn't stop," your hands went to the top of your dress pulling down, realizing the blue mistake Fox's mouth retracted causing the organism to fade. You saw the silently anger coating his features, you dropped your legs from his broad shoulders. Barely breathing as he stood up looming over you, one hand on the garment and one on the back of the couch. Your hands cautiously moved the back of the garment unclipping it feeling him yank it and toss it, landing it perfectly next to the cut up underwear. You stared up into lava threatening to engulf you in its heat, “Fox…?”
“Never wear that color again, understood?” you recognize the commanders order tone.
“Fox-“
“Understood,” he growled.
You nodded, swiftly his hands picked you up pulling you towards the bedroom, dropping you in the bed. He didn’t bother with his armor, dropping his codpiece and undoing his belt so his hand could free him from the constriction of the body suit. Watching him mount you, the cool plastoid bit lightly into the skin as he pushed himself in. Your fingers dug into the back of his neck resistance the urge to find his hair as he continued to split you apart. Fox’s pace was merciless as his temper fumed his thrust. Listening to his hips collide was yours you could hear the gush of your arousal coating both of you. Every time he entered you, the feel of him filling the expanse felt so perfect your mouth opened to tell him but his hand found your mouth covering it.
Watching him shift his weight to his knees to keep his weight off of you, you felt his other hand go to your clit moving wildly, “Cum for me,” he growled, the hand on your mouth moving the dress bunching it up in his fingers. The red so perfect on you he questioned if the color was his or if he wore your color. His thrust got desperate as he continued forcing himself to hold back until you become undone under him. Moaning when your fingers yanked his hair enough to pull some out he finally removed the hand between you firming resting both his palms above your head. The drooling mess of his name reverberated in the room letting his chase his own orgasm coating your insides white with his desire to have you. He felt sweat clinging to his forehead as he stared down at your perfect shape, his hand went to his hair carefully prying your cramped fingers off his hair massaging them. Removing his soak body from yours he saw where his armor had dug into your skin silently cursing himself for not removing them. He watched the white ropes from you running down your ass, he could already feel himself getting hard again at the sight. He striped the armor tossing it to the ground not caring about proper stacks in the moment. Cursing himself harder when checking his belt that he hadn’t restocked the bacta tube, he stared at the deep marks scowling he found his data pad and messaging Thorn to bring some right away, and that it was indeed a discreet order. Fox watched you curl towards the warmth of the blankets wincing as you moved. He whispered your name, “Bacta’s coming.”
The underside of your legs felt like someone had tried to use a dull knife to saw at your muscles, while the pain between your legs ached was blissful everything else wasn’t. You felt a warm cloth go inbetween your legs and the blankets partially pulled over you. Maybe you were a little loopy because your giggled feeling some of the cum bubble out at the action.
“What is it?” Fox asked confused.
“You’re so mean at work and in bed but so soft too, I just didn’t expect it,” you said yawning.
“Stay awake a little longer,” Fox scowled hearing the doorbell, “I’ll be right back.”
Not bothering to put his armor on, just in his blacks, he opened the door finding Thorn standing there his eyes going wide with Kix and a medical bag in hand. Fox’s lips twitched into a snarl, “Just needed the bacta.”
“You also mentioned wounded,” Thorn pointed out trying to keep the smile out of his face.
“What are her injuries,” Kix asked flatly.
“My armor cut into the back of her legs.”
Kix opened the bag pulling out a foreign orange tube handing it to Fox, “Use this instead. Anything else?”
“No.”
“Good,” Kix closed the bag and left.
Fox stared down at the vile, “Did you really have to bring him?”
“Actually he was already on the way with the bag, figured it would look better if we came together. Have a good evening,” Thorn waved jogging after the medic.
Disgruntled Fox closed the door pulling the blanket back exposing the deep red marks, he worked the liquid into the marks with his fingers watching your tension relax. He sat there watching you stretch, slow blinking at him as you stirred. What he wanted to say died on his tongue, “Shower?”
