That asexual that lives under your bed.

A young aspiring queer rights activist who spends way too much time watching MCYT. I take pride In pissing off people who don’t even know me simply because I exist.

[closeyourdamntabs]

Vampires Smp Incorrect Quotes

Owen: when I die, I'm giving away all my problems to the doc.

Legs: when you die, all of my problems will go away.

Pyro: Hey guys! I drew everyone's souls! Scott: Why is Avid's a monster?

Avid: You forgot Scott's. It's just an empty space.

Pyro: exactly.

Scott: Shelby, what do you value in Drift?

Shelby: They're thoughtful! They pick flowers and bring them to me. Often they're ones I've just planted, but...

Drift: that's how I know they're fresh!

Martyn: So what, now I'm just supposed to do that Abolish does? What if they jump off a cliff?

Legs: If Abolish were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Abolish jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Martyn: ... You jump off a cliff.

Legs: Gladly, provided Abolish did first

Scott: *yawns*

Avid: Yeah, being that pretty must be tiring.

Scott: Then you must be exhausted.

Apo: can you two shut up. Some of us are lonely.

Shelby: Live, Laugh, Love!

Owen: Die, Cry, Hate

Shelby, on the phone: What's up, Avid? Avid: I'm sitting in a pool of blood.

Shelby: ...Um, is it YOUR blood?

Avid: I think so.

Shelby: Do you know where the blood's coming from?

Avid: Probably the stab wound.

Shelby: YOU'VE BEEN STABBED?!

Avid: Oh, yeah, definitely.

Ren: Okay, who's turn is it to give the daily,

mandatory pep talk?

Cleo: It's Pearl's turn.

Pearl: Don't die?

Sausage, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Avid: Crushes are the worst. Whenever I'm near mine, I always act stupid.

Scott: you always act stupid...

Scott: ...Wait

Avid: We have a problem.

Pyro: Let me guess, you caused it?

Shelby: How bad?

Cleo: And it's another Tuesday, your point?

Owen: Would shooting you solve this

problem? No? Then shut up.

Martyn: Abolish, I think we have a problem.

Abolish: What, the fire?

Martyn: No, the- wait, what fire?

Abolish: Oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting.

Scott: did you like the food I made you? Shelby: not really.

Scott: but I put my heart and soul into it. Pyro: Maybe that's why it's so cold and tasteless.

Owen: Tastes great, reminds me of my youth.

Shelby: Didn't you regularly live off of stale bread and wood chippings?

Owen: Your point?

Scott: Something's off.

Apo: Maybe you've finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting people.

Scott: No, but that's funny

Avid: I'm a reverse necromancer! Shelby: Isn't that just-

Owen: No. Shut up. Shut the fuck up. You are literally so fucking unfunny that it hurts. It physically hurts my body knowing that people still think murder is funny. I cant believe im saying this but do you guys know how chronically online you all are, thinking that saying "ooh iM a rEVeRsE nECrOmANCER i LOVE to KiLL PEOPLe" is genuinely funny and will get everyone in the room shitting themselves from laughter?? cause its not. It's fucking not. In fact, its the unfunniest fucking joke ever. Not just any joke about killing people. This one specifically. Its so unfunny and stupid. Nobody is fucking laughing at that, Avid. It makes you look like a greasy emo kid that has never been outside once in their life and uses tumblr religiously. Like not even the funny side of tumblr. the fucking unfunny side filled with overused jokes about murder and illegal acts. Honestly, you're so unfunny, Avid. Fuck you.

[a-silly-poll-side-blog-yay]

you're given a million of whatever you just googled, how is it going?

good

bad

great

awful

aAAAAAAAA

results

Voting ended onDec 30, 2025

[hazelnutsummer]

Million chiikawas. I’m so lucky.

[closeyourdamntabs]

Million pronouns. Great.

[closeyourdamntabs]

Ok, so did yall know there's actually a place called Oakhurst in California and that there's literally a road titled Lewis Fork right in the center, and if you go there, there are just woods for miles and miles?

[waywardsunlight]

I hope Mr. GoodtimeswithScar has a really amazing day and I hope he knows how much everyone loves him.

[closeyourdamntabs]

I find vampires smp so funny cause like… what did they do!?

the vampires are legit just trying to survive and the townsfolk are all like “we gotta fortify and prepare for battle. Who knows when they’ll strike.”

And meanwhile the vampires are minding their own business like “ok Shelby… Makeover time!”

the vampires literally haven't done anything but defend themselves. Sure, they’ve turned people, but pyro and Shelby are having a good time, Cleo attacked Scot first and Apo made deal, went against it, then killed Scot. It was an accident that Cleo was turned in the first place, and Martyn jumped off the bridge himself to escape Scot who was just trying to protect himself.

that’s why I’m so on team vampires. They can do no wrong. Except maybe Owen, but he’s special ok. I’ll give him a free pass for the angsty vampire yaoi. Besides, giving people eternal life at the expense of their humanity is such a moral and kind thing to do. The vampires are really the good guys when you look at it. Trust. They’re perfect.

[emeral-lyn]

CALLING ALL LIFE SERIES FANS!! PLEASE REBLOG THIS TO SPREAD IT!!

People keep taking the current season REALLY seriously. So heres a reminder that they are REAL PEOPLE. They are playing a fucking block game. God forbid they are competitive in a competition. “If ____ wins I’m gonna leave the fandom!” Okay. Your loss.

People have been sending THREATS, DOXXING FELLOW FANS and BULLYING CONTENT CREATORS. This is not on guys. Multiple of them have even spoken out about this. There’s nothing more to it than friends playing a fun game and filming it.

Worst part? Nobody acted like this before. If we acted like this when 3rd Life came out, life series would never have continued. They aren’t just content creators, they’re real people. Stop speculating that they hate each other irl. What goes on in their lives isn’t our business anyway.

You guys need to sort yourselves out. I’m not gonna read through another hissy fit in TikTok comments or on Twitter. It’s a game. A series. Pixels on a fucking screen.

[closeyourdamntabs]

I would like it to be known that Scar canonically calls Grian ‘Sweet angel’ on occasion thanks to the new past life session.

[closeyourdamntabs]

To the precious little snowflakes who say the queer community has ‘stolen the rainbow’

A symbol can hold diverse meanings. A rainbow is a symbol of hope and diversity. The LGBTQIA+ community adopted it to represent their own diverse spectrum of identities and experiences. This is not "theft"; it's the natural evolution of symbolism.

The frustration over rainbow symbolism not only shows their misunderstanding of both optics and symbolic meaning but their sensitiveness. If the sight of a rainbow flag causes you such distress, the problem isn't the flag. It's a hypersensitivity to a visible expression of queer existence.

If queer people have stolen the rainbow, then what about the cross? The Christian cross, while significant to Christianity, was used in various forms by other ancient cultures [(Ferguson, G. (1959). Signs & Symbols in Christian Art. Oxford University Press.)]. The adoption of the rainbow by the LGBTQIA+ community is a natural continuation of this historical pattern, where groups imbue existing symbols with new, relevant meanings that speak to their identity and aspirations. It's not about "stealing," but about claiming and redefining a universal symbol of beauty and hope for a community that embodies diversity in its most vibrant form.

[closeyourdamntabs]

let me be put things straight… 

If you're genuinely offended that the queer community gets a whole month when 'women and Marines only get a day,' and you are genuinely frustrated because 'women have suffered far more than queer people have., and ‘the LGBTQIA community is in fact not under attack,' then I'm afraid your understanding of history and current events is about as clear as a mud puddle after a hurricane. HAVE YOU BEEN OUTSIDE!? 

Pride Month exists for a reason, and it's not to inconvenience your delicate sensibilities. It's to acknowledge a fight that's far from over.  

International Women's Day is a powerful celebration of women's incredible journey and the strides they've made toward equality. It's a day to acknowledge their resilience and the hard-won rights achieved across so many countries. And that's exactly the point: it's not a fact of ‘who has suffers more?’ It’s the fact that queer people are suffering, right now. We are actively having our basic human rights stripped away and are facing persecution. This isn't history, this is our present. 

celebrating one group's progress doesn't diminish another's ongoing struggle. Because while women celebrate how far they've come, queer people are very much still fighting.

[closeyourdamntabs]

our favourite girl dad

[closeyourdamntabs]

Your honour, they're family

[halecion]

What do we do with this thing

[tubbytarchia]

Why Shortgrass is AWESOME and why you guys should care RIGHT NOW please

They admire each other's building skills A LOT a lot. To the point that it's basically their own language where they just communicate through compliments and block choice discussion. The horse rivalry is the one thing everyone knows about, but I don't see anyone commenting on the way they get at each other, especially the things Bdubs proposes, all "I hate him now. I didn't think I was capable of hate. I'm gonna get good at PVP. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna blow him up. Joel is evil and fucked up", literally playing out his murder plans, only to then become a little fangirl as soon as he's in Joel's presence. Joel doesn't show it as much but he's the same way. They're literally 👉👈 at each other. Bdubs is also so susceptible to praise. Although he often plays up his reactions, you know he loves a good compliment and he knows any he gets from his senpai idol guy Joel are genuine

This is especially well showcased when Bdubs was showing off his stalls that have been trapped, and Joel thinking that something is up. Bdubs dedicated an entire episode to this, hyping himself up, and then them actually interacting is tense but extremely polite. And then that whole interaction is capped off with Joel: "Wow I though I was gonna die but this has been really pleasant. Thanks". Then they like playfully taunt each other before Joel flies off and Bdubs goes "That's exactly how that was supposed to go... simple and friendly... I got him played like a fiddle.... yes I do..." after accomplishing nothing but giving Joel a nice little showcase of his new build

That is to say, it's very cute that Bdubs despite his expressions of Joel being despicable gets exposed to his genuine side and how they tend to be very sweet towards each other (examples below). It serves as an interesting but nice contrast to the Life series, where a lot of players (some more than others) go off of the same belief, that Joel is a rabid dog in need of being put down. Joel very much plays into being a rascal, but he means no real harm (eg reassuring Bdubs he wouldn't kill his important horses and you know he won't) and it so easily becomes playful and mutual banter between them

Anyway bunch of moments of them being cute or something that I can't and don't want to sum up organically

At the start of a SL session, Joel is yellow and on 8 hearts, is asking the Mounders for their hearts, Bdubs is hesitant but goes "you deserve it". Then he lies to Etho that Joel was so intimidating and scary and forced him. Then he lies to Impulse that Joel was pathetic and begging for it.??

In one episode of SL, Bdubs tries to help Joel guess someone's task by guiding him to Grian, but Grian's task was to get called out so Joel helps him succeed instead and Bdubs feels really bad about it. Then like 2 episodes later he's, again, sharing intel to help him guess multiple tasks. Something about the way he's above ground talking to Joel for an extended period of time at multiple points while Joel is down under working on an exp farm calling him his favorite snitch (the only person Bdubs doesn't snitch on is Etho. Naturally)

And also Bdubs praising Joel a bunch when he sees him actually digging out the farm. He's praising Joel as if it were his task to do so (like Scar with Pearl in that other SL episode) but he's just. doing this just because

When Bdubs' task is to get someone to leave whilst he's telling a story, Joel eventually does, and Bdubs seeks him out later just to tell him "I knew you would. I knew you got my back"

Joel accidentally shoots Bdubs during the SL finale, he feels awful about it and Bdubs tells himself to eat his golden apple, which poetically reminds Joel to eat his. And then Scott uses Bdubs' death to taunt Joel before killing him too 😐

"Good morning sunshine!" (Joel in response: "morning mr dub")

"Are you trying to swim in lava, angel?"

Bdubs completely unprompted: "Be calm and cool and collected, like Joel is in moments like these, not scared of anything"

Joel mimicking Bdubs in WL going "you see, Minecraft is like a canvas..." and Bdubs reacting to it

Bdubs saying "Hey, don't- calm down, kay? We're gonna get you out of this, okay?" to Joel while Joel's trying to sell him purpur against his will

Bdubs fixing Joel's trapdoors even whilst in the process of horse cursing him

Bdubs talking about how he wants to beat Joel in PVP "for stealing Etho" and then also calling him a good builder unprompted. He's so fanfiction

And the statue Joel built of Bdubs ofc

(More from you guys that I forgot!!) Joel all "different season, you've no reason to hate me now right" at the start of WL and Bdubs goes "no of course not. Except I wanna kill you"

Their banter in general in their episode of "Is that Sheep looking at Me?" (And Gem)

If anyone knows more you've gotta tell me

<33 I love u Bdubs you're so good to my boys

[closeyourdamntabs]

"Gay people, we love Pearl right?" Geminitay -2025

[closeyourdamntabs]

I'm sorry, but I can't be the only one who reads Double Life like one of those cheesy dating shows!

You know the ones: they randomly pair people together as "soulmates," and the rest of the season is just petty relationship drama. We've got the "secret soulmates" trope, the awkward divorce squad, and unnecessary pettiness galore.

Am I the only one who sees it?

[closeyourdamntabs]

name them

I decided to get my dad to do this challenge. He knows a few of them because I talk about it a lot, but it was really funny watching him look so confused about what their skins were even supposed to be.

[cruciatus-animus]

This is why I don’t tell 99% people im bisexual

[nudeparrot-deactivated20161109]

I love how gay people do it too. Just… really? You’re literally saying the same shit to bisexuals that straight people say to you, and you don’t see the hypocrisy? 

[asking-ask-deactivated20171227]

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

[cutestwarlord]

^^^

[sciencemyfiction]

If youre biphobic or hate bisexuals, fucking unfollow me, for serious.

[drudragonrose]

Why is this a thing like really? Homosextual people of ALL beings should understand that you like what you like and if the answer multiple choice then that’s just more love to go around non?

[simlyliving-deactivated20170518]

BY REBLOGGING THIS YOU ARE SAYING THAT YOUR BLOG IS COMPLETELY ACCEPTING OF BI FOLKS!!! BISEXUAL PEOPLE ARE PART OF THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY AND IF YOU DISAGREE, PLEASE UNFOLLOW ME

[sunny6677]

If you’re biphobic in any way, I’m blocking you. Directing this at anyone who sees this reblog and happens to be biphobic or against bisexuals. /srs

[closeyourdamntabs]

Be gone Biphobes!!!!!