20.9.19 Fri
Hi again,
i realized that for the last month, my mood was constantly going up and down like a roller coaster,
monday morning i was feeling physically uncomfortable, which directly affected my mood,
i read something, or something i read before just came up to my mind i don’t know - i understood that it was in my hands, it was up to me to feel good or bad,
oh, i just remembered, it was something about our thoughts affecting our mind.
that evening, i had some problems with my roommate and the girl i rented my room from. Apparently my roommate badmouthed me to the other girl. I got out of the u-bahn station, i was super angry (maybe for the 2nd time since i landed i berlin) that i was squeezing my fists, i didn’t want to go home like that because i knew it would have terrible consequences when i saw my roommate, so i took a longer route and stopped at the super market to buy a few things.
on my way back, i changed my approach, i decided to write a calmer text to the girl i rented the room from and take the responsibility. i told her, i didn’t want her to worry or feel bad because she rented the room to me. and then we had a nice talk, it solved everything.
i just needed to take a breath, think clearly and be more considerate of my possible actions.
yesterday, i had a rough morning (lets just say that it involved crying at a f*cking mcdonals at 9.30 in the morning and then getting trapped in an empty train wagon with a homeless guy screaming at my face), so i can easily say -literally nothing went my way,
maybe it just had to happen or i was so distracted that I didn’t watch my actions at all, I don’t know, its all good now.