hypothetically. let's say, a few years ago, after the discovery of extreme abuse, the function of the system who discovered such a thing changed. new alters are continually split to replace older ones, the brain having quite the hard time recalling already existing alters back to front after they stopped fronting for their very first time. new alter splits, fronts, leaves front when replaced by newly split alter, and then very likely never fronts again. no host, no frequent fronters. after a few years of this, this system is tired of the instability. they find it hard to feel connected to others as they are someone new every few days.
how would someone change their system functioning to be something more stable? how would one teach their brain to rely on what already exists instead of being in constant pursuit of something new?
oh! this is something my system has actually struggled with so I'm going to be giving general advice and what worked for my system.
what first helped with this constant cycle was getting out of abusive and stressful situations. trying to live as calm a life as possible. then came the actual processing of the trauma. drawing it, talking to therapists, writing a constant stream of thought, using play to act it out. these aren't creative exercises, they are theraputic ones and nothing you create has to be "good." some the best bits of processing i've done have no punctuation, or are drawn with stick figures.
if you are still being traumatised: processing trauma won't work as your wounds have no time to heal. it really fucking sucks but you have to get out of the burning building before you can water the flowers.
finding out really silly details about each alter helped us. their likes, their dislikes, their favourite song, their favourite image. this helped us to be able to call certain alters into front again.
but, in the exact opposite and somehow the same vein, don't get too bogged down on which individual alter you are. this made it so my brain stopped splitting so constantly to fill the void of "who am i," which could be part of the problem you're facing
pulling alters into front
this is a very mental exercise so i'm going to write one version for those with aphantasia and one for those without.
visual method: imagine the face of the person you want to bring to front, where are they in innerworld (or just in a space), are they sat down? grab their hand and hold it. how does it feel? and now slowly pull them into co-con, next to you. use those details you know about them, maybe play their favourite song, do something they enjoy. you may have to repeat this multiple times and you will be able to tell if it's working or not, and if it's not that's okay. it's important to remember you have far more control over this than you think, and alters don't immeadiately become uncontactable.
physical method: choose an item to represent the person you want to bring to co-con. really think of this object as them. works better if the object is one the alter likes or is attached to. hold the object away from you, and slowly bring it toward you. could help if you play their favourite song, do something they enjoy. you may have to repeat this multiple times and you will be able to tell if it's working or not, and if it's not that's okay. it's important to remember you have far more control over this than you think, and alters don't immeadiately become uncontactable.
i don't really know what else to say but i hope it gets better for y'all!
if anyone has more tips they'd be greatly appreciated!
