Plural bloggers are allergic to acknowledging the fact that other systems won't work the exact same way they do
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@clowder-system
Plural bloggers are allergic to acknowledging the fact that other systems won't work the exact same way they do
I think growling/clowder system comics could be cool but everybody elses are like educational and profound and stuff and ours would just be random bullshit go and also endless torment and misery
i hate how -conscious terms are just being pushed on everybody now
internal communication is easier when you don't make everyone talk in words
we have to remind ourselves of this periodically
hypothetically. let's say, a few years ago, after the discovery of extreme abuse, the function of the system who discovered such a thing changed. new alters are continually split to replace older ones, the brain having quite the hard time recalling already existing alters back to front after they stopped fronting for their very first time. new alter splits, fronts, leaves front when replaced by newly split alter, and then very likely never fronts again. no host, no frequent fronters. after a few years of this, this system is tired of the instability. they find it hard to feel connected to others as they are someone new every few days.
how would someone change their system functioning to be something more stable? how would one teach their brain to rely on what already exists instead of being in constant pursuit of something new?
oh! this is something my system has actually struggled with so I'm going to be giving general advice and what worked for my system.
escape and process
what first helped with this constant cycle was getting out of abusive and stressful situations. trying to live as calm a life as possible. then came the actual processing of the trauma. drawing it, talking to therapists, writing a constant stream of thought, using play to act it out. these aren't creative exercises, they are theraputic ones and nothing you create has to be "good." some the best bits of processing i've done have no punctuation, or are drawn with stick figures.
if you are still being traumatised: processing trauma won't work as your wounds have no time to heal. it really fucking sucks but you have to get out of the burning building before you can water the flowers.
individualising alters
finding out really silly details about each alter helped us. their likes, their dislikes, their favourite song, their favourite image. this helped us to be able to call certain alters into front again.
but, in the exact opposite and somehow the same vein, don't get too bogged down on which individual alter you are. this made it so my brain stopped splitting so constantly to fill the void of "who am i," which could be part of the problem you're facing
pulling alters into front
this is a very mental exercise so i'm going to write one version for those with aphantasia and one for those without.
visual method: imagine the face of the person you want to bring to front, where are they in innerworld (or just in a space), are they sat down? grab their hand and hold it. how does it feel? and now slowly pull them into co-con, next to you. use those details you know about them, maybe play their favourite song, do something they enjoy. you may have to repeat this multiple times and you will be able to tell if it's working or not, and if it's not that's okay. it's important to remember you have far more control over this than you think, and alters don't immeadiately become uncontactable.
physical method: choose an item to represent the person you want to bring to co-con. really think of this object as them. works better if the object is one the alter likes or is attached to. hold the object away from you, and slowly bring it toward you. could help if you play their favourite song, do something they enjoy. you may have to repeat this multiple times and you will be able to tell if it's working or not, and if it's not that's okay. it's important to remember you have far more control over this than you think, and alters don't immeadiately become uncontactable.
i don't really know what else to say but i hope it gets better for y'all!
if anyone has more tips they'd be greatly appreciated!
please be aware,
if you repeatedly have scary thoughts about identity and what would happen to you if you don't know who you are, and this fear leads to to persistently searching for identity? and making sure Repeatedly that you're absolutely correct and right because you have scary thoughts about being wrong?
my pal, that is intrusive thoughts and obsessive compulsions. those can be themed around anything, including identity. and yes, this can absolutely cause you to split repeatedly.
Mafia boss smoking a cigar: Why’d you gotta squeal, Squealin’ Stephen? I trusted you. Now I gotta send my best goons to show you what happens when you cross the Big Boss…
Guy tied up in chair: uh…theres just one guy over there.
Mafia boss: Yeah. That’s Lil’ Tony. He’s got one of dem conditions where he’s got multiple mooks n’ his head. But when Big Tony fronts you’re gonna be in big trouble.
Lil’ Tony: We actually all agree we’re gonna kick your ass.
Daily plural question: What age group is most common in your system/collective/etc?
Question suggested by @ethannnisalittlegayoopss
I think it's important to recognize that the concept of a "little" means different things to different systems.
- Some littles are less responsible and emotionally mature than adults, and some are equally responsible and emotionally mature.
- Some littles don't have access to adult memories and knowledge, and some do.
- Some littles formed in childhood, and some formed later in life.
- Some littles age or emotionally mature over time, and some don't.
- Some littles need to be sequestered away with other littles, and some can socialize with adults both in and out of the system.
- Some littles have childlike interests and enjoy media and hobbies associated with kids, and others have broader tastes in activities.
- Some littles need to be kept away from potentially mature content, and others are fine with seeing violence, swearing, sexuality, etc. in media.
- Some littles need to be kept off of social media for their own wellbeing, and some can safely use and enjoy social media.
- Some littles can't do certain tasks adult members can do (driving a car, cooking, managing money and doing taxes) and some can.
- Some littles need to be frequently supervised and have decisions made for them by older members of the system, and some don't need special supervision or guidance at all.
- Some littles are completely asexual and may find exposure to sexuality distressing, and some have sex drives and can consent to sexual activities.
Any discourse questioning "can littles do X?" should be answered with "it depends on the little". Individual systems should be trusted to make decisions that work for them. Judgment calls can be made by the little in question if they have that level of maturity, or by older members of the system if they need that kind of help. But I don't think those decisions should be enforced by people who aren't members of that system. (With the exception of the specific people involved in a sexual activity, who can give or rescind their own consent.)
In my opinion rules in online environments should accommodate littles, not make assumptions and box them in. For example, little-specific Discord channels - great! Littles are ONLY allowed to use little-specific Discord channels - not so great.
Ultimately we should keep in mind that while littles have their identified age in common, they may differ from one another in other ways. When it comes down to it, how things work for one system will not be how they work for everyone.
Your Childhood - ENDING EXPLAINED (+Easter Eggs You Missed!)
they hate me because the years of memory loss has purified my mind
one day pluralpedia will actually make an attempt at making it's polyfrag page remotely decent, but that day isn't today. or probably anytime in the nearish future considering it has been locked "for review" for coming up two years now
even though it's scary to assert your boundaries, you are forever the one in charge when it comes to your own origins and roles. you don't have to tolerate it when people speak over you about your own experiences and your own labels, you are perfectly in the right to establish and assert your boundaries.
you are entitled to that level of respect and dignity from others, and it's perfectly reasonable to distance yourself from people who don't listen to you about how you describe your own experiences.
"systemhood is inherently disordered, you can't be a system if you aren't disordered" that's a funny way to say that you don't view functional multiplicity as a viable recovery option.
i bring a pro restorative justice vibe that makes people asking "how do i nicely punish my alters?" a bit frustrated.
also referring to cases of DID being diagnosed more after a popular piece of media depicts it is like. yeah man, thats kinda just what happens when cultural awareness of something increases?
imagine you see a popular post about someone realizing theyve been getting poisoned by carbon monoxide in their home and youre like "wait ive been having weird experiences like that too" so you get a carbon monoxide detector and learn that you also have been getting poisoned by carbon monoxide. you tell someone about this and either they act like you spiritually manifested the carbon monoxide in your home by learning about it or they tell you that carbon monoxide poisoning isnt real because nobody got poisoned by it until they discovered it could poison people
I feel like people often forget that "persecutor" doesn't actually tell you much about a headmate. The description of "causes harm to the system" is very broad and subjective, and can even be meant as a neutral descriptor, rather than negative. The way people talk about them, it feels like people have a very specific idea in mind, but you don't actually know much about someone just because you know they're a persecutor; you don't know how they cause harm, you don't know why they do it, and you don't know how their system feels about them or what they do. So maybe chill a bit and don't act like you know everything about a headmate just because you know a single label they use. And on the flip side, maybe don't presume that just calling a headmate a persecutor tells us (if We are your intended audience) anything beyond the broad definition for that label, because I can assure you it does not. To assume makes an ass out of u and me.