🔞The One and Only Tipp Warbler! 🔞

[clppd-wngs]

“They ain’t had my curtain call yet!”

ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐

An ask blog for Tipp Warbler, the drinking bird, a Date Everything OC by

@fictional-men-enthusiast

ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽 RULES 🪽 ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ

1. Due to the possibility of covering more serious and graphic topics in my storylines, this account is 18+.

2. No matter how into character we get, I am a real person — I have to read everything you write, so please no overly sexual or overly graphic comments please — if you wouldn’t say it to the admin’s face, don’t put it in the ask box.

3. Please try to ask no more than five questions at a time — I am human, I sleep, eat, and have my own responsibilities. I cannot be on 24/7. I will hope you can respect this.

4. Tipp’s pronouns are they/them. I understand how it’s easy to make mistakes based on appearance, and I won’t hold it against anyone if they misremember a few times. However, if you consistently misgender them after being corrected, or purposely misgender them, I will start deleting your asks and eventually move on to blocking you.

ִֶָ. ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐

See you in the ask box!

[clppd-wngs]

Post by @clppd-wngs · 1 image

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 3 · CHARACTER · PROFILE ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── PERSONALITY ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── Friendly, polite, and unabashedly silly, Tipp is the perfect st

[clppd-wngs]

Post by @clppd-wngs · 1 image

💬 0  🔁 0  ❤️ 4 · Some Facts About Tipp! · . ..𓂃 ࣪ ִֶָ🪽་༘࿐ 1. Despite being manufactured in 1945, making their object 79-years-old, their ma

[clppd-wngs]

question for tipp do you like clowns or jesters more

*They pantomime wiping sweat from their brow with a whistle.*

“You could feed an army with a pickle this big—!”

“Now, clowning is a fine art — not just any bozo can be a Bozo! But jesters, well— Now there’s somebody that mastered the craft! Not just anybody gets to perform for the king!”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ladies n' gentlemen, Johnny Splash invites you to the breaker box! Where I will be preformin tomorrow night!... And the night after that... And the night after... and after.. and after... and after...

[clppd-wngs]

“Hmm… Now, what about the night after the night after the night after the night after the night after tonight? I think I’ve got that one free.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

I will, In fact, be preforming that night as well darlin~

Should I be expecting you now?

[clppd-wngs]

“Well, now, I’ve made a commitment, haven’t I? I’m no flighty bird. Funnily enough…”

“Would I be correct in assuming this is THE Johnny Splash to whom I’m speaking?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Yes indeed compadre, the one n' only Johnny Splash! House risin' star- Pleasure to make your acquaintance-

And, might I get a name for you?

[clppd-wngs]

"A rising star?"

"Is it too early to ask you pinch me?"

“Tipp is the name. On account of the object.”

*They make a show of displaying the shiny, crystalline commodity. The dapper hat, the snazzy tie — the little showstopper is dressed to the nines.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

You heard it right muchacho! And uh... Guess I could pinch ya. Long as its... appropriate..

Mighty fine to meet cha Tipp. And might I say, you got quite the star appeal yourself!

[clppd-wngs]

“Paling in comparison, I’m sure.”

*Their hat spins down the length of their arm, swept up in their hand and presented atop their head.*

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny hummed, looking impressed with their trick.]

Ah, quite the flatterer as well~

Tell me darlin, you got an act?

[clppd-wngs]

"Now, I'm willing to admit part of the appeal was the irony—”

*From... somewhere, they unveil a stout, wooden man. If it weren’t for them animating him with their hand, he might be mistaken for being alive. Yet, he’s far from the rosy-cheeked gentleman typically pictured with a ventriloquist. With crisp kakis and a collared shirt, he would look more at home in a tech support office.*

“He’s still getting his sea legs, what with the stage fright and all.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh!

[He, admittedly, looked a tad surprised at the unveiling of the doll. but leaned in after a moment to get a closer look.]

Well now, aint that a quaint surprise. And who's our lil pal here?

[clppd-wngs]

*A shy, nasally voice squeaks out from between Carl’s wooden lips, while Tipp’s are so still that they seems almost painted on.*

“Oh, jeez! Didn’t know there was an interview! My name’s Carl — I’m 35 and I work in IT — When I’m not clacking the keys, as I like to say, I’m visiting my favorite museums, playing DND with the guys, or working on my dioramas. I have two kids — my son, Charlie, and my little princess, Mary. She’s getting to that age where she’s “boy crazy” — I remember when she was just a little tyke, trying on her mom’s make-up. Boy — you know, they always say kids grow up so fast, but you really don’t understand until you have your own…”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Well I'll be...

[Johnny hummed, impressed and happy to play along.]

Well then- Pleasure to meet cha Carl- Names Johnny Splash! couldn't wear it out if you try. Don't feel too shy now- Its just me and I aint no critic..

. . . Unless it's to bug Amir a bit-

[clppd-wngs]

“Sorry if this is rude, but, are you some kind of object person? Wait, am I allowed to say that?"

*Tipp's lips slide open, voice sneaking out the side.*

"Maybe we do ought to get Amir in here for the fella, ey?"

*So that's what they meant by irony...*

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ah, not rude at all darlin- And yes. Your local house shower!

And suppose that wouldn't be the worst idea- Man's never been one to shy from...

.. speakin' his mind-

[clppd-wngs]

"Wiat, who - who's Amir?"

"A MIR?"

"...Yeah?"

"Why, he's the sink!"

*They break the illusion for a moment to wink at Johnny.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny chuckles, picking up on the bit]

Heh.. Ah yes, our darlin sink Amir- Such a gentlesink-

[clppd-wngs]

“I don’t know if this is taboo to ask but, when I pour water down the sink, where does it… GO?”

“Why, I’m glad you asked! It goes down the mouth, through the pipes— and into the water treatment system.”

“Ah. So just normal sink things. Not like a person.”

*Tipp shares a knowing look with Johnny.*

“Yes, you wouldn’t want to be thinking of us like people, would you?”

*As much as it’s able, Carl’s face is animated with panic, eyes jumping between the two.*

“W-Whoa, now — tough crowd—! Its — you’re not really people, are you—? You’re sort of going your own way, r-right—?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny has to stifle his chuckling with his palm as he nods along.]

Pff-Heh.. Noooo, not in the slightest muchacho- Just run o' the mill sinks n' showers- Not people in theeeee slightest-

[clppd-wngs]

“A sink believing he’s human—? R-Ridiculous—!”

*Carl returns to little more than a facade, a mere mimic, as Tipp comes alive with joy. The flush of laughter rushes to cold, metallic cheeks. Tears of mirth overwhelm glass eyes, a smile brightening painted lips.*

*They stare down at Carl.*

“Aah — Martin’s more human than you’ll ever be, pal.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny can't help but break out with them in laughter, almost doubling over, supporting himself on his mic stand. As he comes down, catching his breath and wiping his eyes, he looks to Tipp with a chuckle.]

Whew! Unfortunate for the lil guy really.

But you darlin, you got skill! I'm impressed-

[clppd-wngs]

“Ventriloquism ain’t easy, I’ll give you that.”

“Comedy is observation, see? Humans are always going on about how they love their teddies or their dolls, but the trash cans or the rat traps, weeeell, now they ain’t gonna think those are so pretty. Then they go and crack wise with dummies — wouldn’t it be a hoot if we were alive or had feelings?”

“So I thought, wouldn’t it be stitch if they was the dummies? If the joke, as it were, were a character of their lives, of what they’re saying about us, instead of us being the punchline?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny nods along with their explanation, giving an impressed hum.]

Hm, clever. Very clever there indeed darlin.. Recon you got a fine act there with Carl! I certainly enjoy it-

Now tell me this- How often you bring this little show to an audience?

[clppd-wngs]

“And go on after THE Johnny Splash? I’m a clown, not a fool—!”

*Their hair is twirled around their finger as they play the part of the helpless dove.*

“Surely, a gentleman like yourself wouldn’t mind the favor of introducing little old me on-stage.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Favor? Why darlin it would be an HONOR to do so! Lord knows dear ol' Volt has been lookin for some fine fresh faces like yourself-

[clppd-wngs]

“Fresh, ey? Well, the sticker said I had a week left—”

*They conjure a mirror, miming checking for an expiration date.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny snickers a bit, leaning against his mic stand.]

A week? You ask me darlin I woulda said you're right in your prime-

[clppd-wngs]

“Good man, good man.”

“Any man worth his salt knows never to ask an object about their fate of manufacturing.”

“Though, I’m sure a fella like you has plenty of experience with the birds and the bucks…~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

What can I say? Mama raised a gentleshower and I ain't in the habit of disapointin' her-

Birds and the bucks...

[That one took him a moment but-]

O-Oh-! Um-

[Maybe surprisingly, he flusters a bit, and struggles to compose himself.]

Well I uh... You'd be surprised..

[clppd-wngs]

“Have I said something?”

*In a chance instance, the double entendres flies over their head… though, only for a moment. When it comes home to roost, along with it comes the soft coo of “ooooh” in understanding.*

“Ah — it seems my age has caught up to me — the ladies and the gentlemen, hun — and of course, the otherwise, like yours truly.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh heavens to Betsy you didn't mean that the way I thought you did...

[He mumbles in a way that sounds a tad relieved- and better recomposes himself.]

I like to think I am~

[clppd-wngs]

“No, no — the avians and the insects don’t come around until the third date—”

*They preen themselves, a hand running through their comb of red hair.*

“And I quite fancy knowing you are.~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Heh.. r-right.. mmn..

Ahm- May not be every night I can get out to chat up a pretty doll or fella, buuut puttin' myself on the nets as it were definitely opened me up to some ravishing company~

[clppd-wngs]

“The nets, ey?”

*They parody tossing up a baseball.*

“I don’t suppose you’re the type to… run all the bases?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny softly giggles at the insinuation, smirking.]

I take it... slower than imagined, honestly. Prefer to woo a new paramore and make em feel special before anything else~ Adored~

[clppd-wngs]

“Well, darling — Ruth didn’t make it to the Hall of Fame in his first season.”

*They chirp with a chipper whistle, watching as their pantomime of a home run sends the ball flying.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ladies n' gentlemen, Johnny Splash invites you to the breaker box! Where I will be preformin tomorrow night!... And the night after that... And the night after... and after.. and after... and after...

[clppd-wngs]

“Hmm… Now, what about the night after the night after the night after the night after the night after tonight? I think I’ve got that one free.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

I will, In fact, be preforming that night as well darlin~

Should I be expecting you now?

[clppd-wngs]

“Well, now, I’ve made a commitment, haven’t I? I’m no flighty bird. Funnily enough…”

“Would I be correct in assuming this is THE Johnny Splash to whom I’m speaking?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Yes indeed compadre, the one n' only Johnny Splash! House risin' star- Pleasure to make your acquaintance-

And, might I get a name for you?

[clppd-wngs]

"A rising star?"

"Is it too early to ask you pinch me?"

“Tipp is the name. On account of the object.”

*They make a show of displaying the shiny, crystalline commodity. The dapper hat, the snazzy tie — the little showstopper is dressed to the nines.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

You heard it right muchacho! And uh... Guess I could pinch ya. Long as its... appropriate..

Mighty fine to meet cha Tipp. And might I say, you got quite the star appeal yourself!

[clppd-wngs]

“Paling in comparison, I’m sure.”

*Their hat spins down the length of their arm, swept up in their hand and presented atop their head.*

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny hummed, looking impressed with their trick.]

Ah, quite the flatterer as well~

Tell me darlin, you got an act?

[clppd-wngs]

"Now, I'm willing to admit part of the appeal was the irony—”

*From... somewhere, they unveil a stout, wooden man. If it weren’t for them animating him with their hand, he might be mistaken for being alive. Yet, he’s far from the rosy-cheeked gentleman typically pictured with a ventriloquist. With crisp kakis and a collared shirt, he would look more at home in a tech support office.*

“He’s still getting his sea legs, what with the stage fright and all.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh!

[He, admittedly, looked a tad surprised at the unveiling of the doll. but leaned in after a moment to get a closer look.]

Well now, aint that a quaint surprise. And who's our lil pal here?

[clppd-wngs]

*A shy, nasally voice squeaks out from between Carl’s wooden lips, while Tipp’s are so still that they seems almost painted on.*

“Oh, jeez! Didn’t know there was an interview! My name’s Carl — I’m 35 and I work in IT — When I’m not clacking the keys, as I like to say, I’m visiting my favorite museums, playing DND with the guys, or working on my dioramas. I have two kids — my son, Charlie, and my little princess, Mary. She’s getting to that age where she’s “boy crazy” — I remember when she was just a little tyke, trying on her mom’s make-up. Boy — you know, they always say kids grow up so fast, but you really don’t understand until you have your own…”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Well I'll be...

[Johnny hummed, impressed and happy to play along.]

Well then- Pleasure to meet cha Carl- Names Johnny Splash! couldn't wear it out if you try. Don't feel too shy now- Its just me and I aint no critic..

. . . Unless it's to bug Amir a bit-

[clppd-wngs]

“Sorry if this is rude, but, are you some kind of object person? Wait, am I allowed to say that?"

*Tipp's lips slide open, voice sneaking out the side.*

"Maybe we do ought to get Amir in here for the fella, ey?"

*So that's what they meant by irony...*

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ah, not rude at all darlin- And yes. Your local house shower!

And suppose that wouldn't be the worst idea- Man's never been one to shy from...

.. speakin' his mind-

[clppd-wngs]

"Wiat, who - who's Amir?"

"A MIR?"

"...Yeah?"

"Why, he's the sink!"

*They break the illusion for a moment to wink at Johnny.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny chuckles, picking up on the bit]

Heh.. Ah yes, our darlin sink Amir- Such a gentlesink-

[clppd-wngs]

“I don’t know if this is taboo to ask but, when I pour water down the sink, where does it… GO?”

“Why, I’m glad you asked! It goes down the mouth, through the pipes— and into the water treatment system.”

“Ah. So just normal sink things. Not like a person.”

*Tipp shares a knowing look with Johnny.*

“Yes, you wouldn’t want to be thinking of us like people, would you?”

*As much as it’s able, Carl’s face is animated with panic, eyes jumping between the two.*

“W-Whoa, now — tough crowd—! Its — you’re not really people, are you—? You’re sort of going your own way, r-right—?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny has to stifle his chuckling with his palm as he nods along.]

Pff-Heh.. Noooo, not in the slightest muchacho- Just run o' the mill sinks n' showers- Not people in theeeee slightest-

[clppd-wngs]

“A sink believing he’s human—? R-Ridiculous—!”

*Carl returns to little more than a facade, a mere mimic, as Tipp comes alive with joy. The flush of laughter rushes to cold, metallic cheeks. Tears of mirth overwhelm glass eyes, a smile brightening painted lips.*

*They stare down at Carl.*

“Aah — Martin’s more human than you’ll ever be, pal.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny can't help but break out with them in laughter, almost doubling over, supporting himself on his mic stand. As he comes down, catching his breath and wiping his eyes, he looks to Tipp with a chuckle.]

Whew! Unfortunate for the lil guy really.

But you darlin, you got skill! I'm impressed-

[clppd-wngs]

“Ventriloquism ain’t easy, I’ll give you that.”

“Comedy is observation, see? Humans are always going on about how they love their teddies or their dolls, but the trash cans or the rat traps, weeeell, now they ain’t gonna think those are so pretty. Then they go and crack wise with dummies — wouldn’t it be a hoot if we were alive or had feelings?”

“So I thought, wouldn’t it be stitch if they was the dummies? If the joke, as it were, were a character of their lives, of what they’re saying about us, instead of us being the punchline?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny nods along with their explanation, giving an impressed hum.]

Hm, clever. Very clever there indeed darlin.. Recon you got a fine act there with Carl! I certainly enjoy it-

Now tell me this- How often you bring this little show to an audience?

[clppd-wngs]

“And go on after THE Johnny Splash? I’m a clown, not a fool—!”

*Their hair is twirled around their finger as they play the part of the helpless dove.*

“Surely, a gentleman like yourself wouldn’t mind the favor of introducing little old me on-stage.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Favor? Why darlin it would be an HONOR to do so! Lord knows dear ol' Volt has been lookin for some fine fresh faces like yourself-

[clppd-wngs]

“Fresh, ey? Well, the sticker said I had a week left—”

*They conjure a mirror, miming checking for an expiration date.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny snickers a bit, leaning against his mic stand.]

A week? You ask me darlin I woulda said you're right in your prime-

[clppd-wngs]

“Good man, good man.”

“Any man worth his salt knows never to ask an object about their fate of manufacturing.”

“Though, I’m sure a fella like you has plenty of experience with the birds and the bucks…~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

What can I say? Mama raised a gentleshower and I ain't in the habit of disapointin' her-

Birds and the bucks...

[That one took him a moment but-]

O-Oh-! Um-

[Maybe surprisingly, he flusters a bit, and struggles to compose himself.]

Well I uh... You'd be surprised..

[clppd-wngs]

“Have I said something?”

*In a chance instance, the double entendres flies over their head… though, only for a moment. When it comes home to roost, along with it comes the soft coo of “ooooh” in understanding.*

“Ah — it seems my age has caught up to me — the ladies and the gentlemen, hun — and of course, the otherwise, like yours truly.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh heavens to Betsy you didn't mean that the way I thought you did...

[He mumbles in a way that sounds a tad relieved- and better recomposes himself.]

I like to think I am~

[clppd-wngs]

“No, no — the avians and the insects don’t come around until the third date—”

*They preen themselves, a hand running through their comb of red hair.*

“And I quite fancy knowing you are.~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Heh.. r-right.. mmn..

Ahm- May not be every night I can get out to chat up a pretty doll or fella, buuut puttin' myself on the nets as it were definitely opened me up to some ravishing company~

[clppd-wngs]

“The nets, ey?”

*They parody tossing up a baseball.*

“I don’t suppose you’re the type to… run all the bases?”

[clppd-wngs]

“Daaawny, darling — there you are—!”

“How long has it been? Do you know what year it is? Quick, what’s my name—?”

*Their seemingly frantic questions come with the asterisk of an unmistakable, goofy smile.*

[dawny-faethers]

4 months, and it’s 2026. I’m sorry I haven’t been rather social, I’ve been a bit busy with plenty of things.

[clppd-wngs]

“Tsk tsk — you’re going to give an old bitty like me a heart attack if you keep disappearing!”

“Y’know, if Bobby ever calls out sick, I’m sure you’d be a shoe-in for magician’s assistant.”

“Anywho… how goes it, my friend?”

[dawny-faethers]

“I’ve been busy with going back to school and homeschooling my daughter.…and keeping my brother from breaking himself in his attempts to modify his object.” Out of all the things she mentioned it was obvious the last one was the most draining one to Dawn.

“I’m being safe!” A voice yelled from across the room.

“You can’t even cook! Why in the world would I let you take a chisel to the stupid statue!”

“The statue is me!”

“You’re in the middle of trying to shatter yourself ”

There is a sound of something hitting the floor.

“Oh god damn it!” Dawn rushes over to her sub space

[clppd-wngs]

*It’s impossible to tell how many expressions Tipp’s face is put through in a little over 30 seconds. Many don’t even have the chance to fully form, jumbling together with other pseudo-emotions. The furrowed brows of confusion solidify those of worry. The grimace of fear softens into one of sympathy. They eventually land between uncertainty and unease.*

“He’s still in one piece, is he—?”

[dawny-faethers]

“He succeeded earlier today and managed to take the head off of his statue and transfer it to another. He’s fine but in a weakened state right now.” Dawn explained as she helped the now revealed brother up.

“Hi.” The man waves

“You’re still grounded lay back down.”

“Killjoy.”

[clppd-wngs]

*Far from the boisterous performance they had given Dawn moments ago, their voice is taken down to a something more reminiscent of the old bitty they described themselves as — soft, each syllable drawn out several seconds longer than necessary.*

“Hel-looo, deeeear. How are you feeling?”

[dawny-faethers]

“Well my neck and back hurts and everything feels a bit unsteady.” Angelo remarks as he’s being pushed to laying down in the nest

“Gee I wonder why?” Dawn sarcastically remarked

“She’s just mad because I roped her crush into helping me.”

“It’s not a crush!” Dawn’s feathers had puffed up and her face had turned red

[clppd-wngs]

“Oooh, that sounds just horrible. Why don’t you just lie down now until it feels all better, hmm?”

*The distinct Trans Atlantic accent swiftly sneaks back in at the mention of a crush. Though, this time, taking on a far more smooth lilt.*

“What’s this about a crush now?”

[dawny-faethers]

“It’s nothing! Besides I highly doubt people want to go out with someone with a child. And I doubt I’d even have the time for a relationship. I haven’t even really talked with people for the past few months for crying out loud.”

[clppd-wngs]

“Oh, no, doll—! Apparently, women with children is a whole market! At least, according to the World Wide Web! Must be why it auto-completes as the query…”

“Why, have you taken up babysitting?”

*Five… four… three… two… one…*

“My God, you’re with child—”

[dawny-faethers]

“I adopted, I don’t have the parts for pregnancy. But yes, I have a daughter now. Also what do you mean there’s a market?”

[clppd-wngs]

*The discomfort has reared its head again. Either there’s been a rapid, spontaneous manifestation of adoption agencies, or there’s another reason why Dawn’s daughter was without her birth parents.*

*Although, impromptu appearance of objects isn’t impossible…*

“And her birth parents…?”

[dawny-faethers]

“She’s a nest and not man made. She doesn’t have any birth parents. In fact she was a bird for the first 5 years of her life before anyone found out and I officially adopted her. I’m all she’s known.”

[clppd-wngs]

“And she’s not a bird now because…”

*Now, that’s a new one. They’ve heard of objects becoming people, but never objects being imbued with life five years on. LMaybe she really should look into being magician…*

[dawny-faethers]

“She always could change forms, she just didn’t because she believed I wouldn’t love her if I knew she was an object.”

[clppd-wngs]

“I see…”

*They don’t mean to make a face, they really don’t. At the very least, it’s one of horror rather than repulsion. Truly, what reaction is one supposed to have in this situation?*

[dawny-faethers]

“Yeah it’s pretty weird.” Angelo pipes up, “I’ve been trying to look into how it could happen, but most likely I’d need to interview another nest which I doubt I’d be able to come across easily.”

[clppd-wngs]

“It’s not thing to worry yourself about, dearie.”

*There’s that voice again — it’s slithered its way back in.*

*Is it softer now?*

[dawny-faethers]

He gained a confused expression, now realizing how often. Tipp changed accents and tones.

[clppd-wngs]

*More questionable still, the changes only seem to be in reaction to him. Not once have they sung a different tune around Dawn…*

[dawny-faethers]

“Why do you always switch tones? It gives me a headache.” He warily puffs his wings up, the porcelain catching the light in the attic.

[clppd-wngs]

“Am I? I hadn’t noticed…”

*Perhaps, for this particular phenomenon, it is less a performance than a child, raised on piano lessons, feeling an unconscious inclination to play upon seeing one.*

[clppd-wngs]

“Daaawny, darling — there you are—!”

“How long has it been? Do you know what year it is? Quick, what’s my name—?”

*Their seemingly frantic questions come with the asterisk of an unmistakable, goofy smile.*

[dawny-faethers]

4 months, and it’s 2026. I’m sorry I haven’t been rather social, I’ve been a bit busy with plenty of things.

[clppd-wngs]

“Tsk tsk — you’re going to give an old bitty like me a heart attack if you keep disappearing!”

“Y’know, if Bobby ever calls out sick, I’m sure you’d be a shoe-in for magician’s assistant.”

“Anywho… how goes it, my friend?”

[dawny-faethers]

“I’ve been busy with going back to school and homeschooling my daughter.…and keeping my brother from breaking himself in his attempts to modify his object.” Out of all the things she mentioned it was obvious the last one was the most draining one to Dawn.

“I’m being safe!” A voice yelled from across the room.

“You can’t even cook! Why in the world would I let you take a chisel to the stupid statue!”

“The statue is me!”

“You’re in the middle of trying to shatter yourself ”

There is a sound of something hitting the floor.

“Oh god damn it!” Dawn rushes over to her sub space

[clppd-wngs]

*It’s impossible to tell how many expressions Tipp’s face is put through in a little over 30 seconds. Many don’t even have the chance to fully form, jumbling together with other pseudo-emotions. The furrowed brows of confusion solidify those of worry. The grimace of fear softens into one of sympathy. They eventually land between uncertainty and unease.*

“He’s still in one piece, is he—?”

[dawny-faethers]

“He succeeded earlier today and managed to take the head off of his statue and transfer it to another. He’s fine but in a weakened state right now.” Dawn explained as she helped the now revealed brother up.

“Hi.” The man waves

“You’re still grounded lay back down.”

“Killjoy.”

[clppd-wngs]

*Far from the boisterous performance they had given Dawn moments ago, their voice is taken down to a something more reminiscent of the old bitty they described themselves as — soft, each syllable drawn out several seconds longer than necessary.*

“Hel-looo, deeeear. How are you feeling?”

[dawny-faethers]

“Well my neck and back hurts and everything feels a bit unsteady.” Angelo remarks as he’s being pushed to laying down in the nest

“Gee I wonder why?” Dawn sarcastically remarked

“She’s just mad because I roped her crush into helping me.”

“It’s not a crush!” Dawn’s feathers had puffed up and her face had turned red

[clppd-wngs]

“Oooh, that sounds just horrible. Why don’t you just lie down now until it feels all better, hmm?”

*The distinct Trans Atlantic accent swiftly sneaks back in at the mention of a crush. Though, this time, taking on a far more smooth lilt.*

“What’s this about a crush now?”

[dawny-faethers]

“It’s nothing! Besides I highly doubt people want to go out with someone with a child. And I doubt I’d even have the time for a relationship. I haven’t even really talked with people for the past few months for crying out loud.”

[clppd-wngs]

“Oh, no, doll—! Apparently, women with children is a whole market! At least, according to the World Wide Web! Must be why it auto-completes as the query…”

“Why, have you taken up babysitting?”

*Five… four… three… two… one…*

“My God, you’re with child—”

[dawny-faethers]

“I adopted, I don’t have the parts for pregnancy. But yes, I have a daughter now. Also what do you mean there’s a market?”

[clppd-wngs]

*The discomfort has reared its head again. Either there’s been a rapid, spontaneous manifestation of adoption agencies, or there’s another reason why Dawn’s daughter was without her birth parents.*

*Although, impromptu appearance of objects isn’t impossible…*

“And her birth parents…?”

[dawny-faethers]

“She’s a nest and not man made. She doesn’t have any birth parents. In fact she was a bird for the first 5 years of her life before anyone found out and I officially adopted her. I’m all she’s known.”

[clppd-wngs]

“And she’s not a bird now because…”

*Now, that’s a new one. They’ve heard of objects becoming people, but never objects being imbued with life five years on. LMaybe she really should look into being magician…*

[dawny-faethers]

“She always could change forms, she just didn’t because she believed I wouldn’t love her if I knew she was an object.”

[clppd-wngs]

“I see…”

*They don’t mean to make a face, they really don’t. At the very least, it’s one of horror rather than repulsion. Truly, what reaction is one supposed to have in this situation?*

[dawny-faethers]

“Yeah it’s pretty weird.” Angelo pipes up, “I’ve been trying to look into how it could happen, but most likely I’d need to interview another nest which I doubt I’d be able to come across easily.”

[clppd-wngs]

“It’s not thing to worry yourself about, dearie.”

*There’s that voice again — it’s slithered its way back in.*

*Is it softer now?*

[dawny-faethers]

He gained a confused expression, now realizing how often. Tipp changed accents and tones.

[clppd-wngs]

*More questionable still, the changes only seem to be in reaction to him. Not once have they sung a different tune around Dawn…*

[clppd-wngs]

“Daaawny, darling — there you are—!”

“How long has it been? Do you know what year it is? Quick, what’s my name—?”

*Their seemingly frantic questions come with the asterisk of an unmistakable, goofy smile.*

[dawny-faethers]

4 months, and it’s 2026. I’m sorry I haven’t been rather social, I’ve been a bit busy with plenty of things.

[clppd-wngs]

“Tsk tsk — you’re going to give an old bitty like me a heart attack if you keep disappearing!”

“Y’know, if Bobby ever calls out sick, I’m sure you’d be a shoe-in for magician’s assistant.”

“Anywho… how goes it, my friend?”

[dawny-faethers]

“I’ve been busy with going back to school and homeschooling my daughter.…and keeping my brother from breaking himself in his attempts to modify his object.” Out of all the things she mentioned it was obvious the last one was the most draining one to Dawn.

“I’m being safe!” A voice yelled from across the room.

“You can’t even cook! Why in the world would I let you take a chisel to the stupid statue!”

“The statue is me!”

“You’re in the middle of trying to shatter yourself ”

There is a sound of something hitting the floor.

“Oh god damn it!” Dawn rushes over to her sub space

[clppd-wngs]

*It’s impossible to tell how many expressions Tipp’s face is put through in a little over 30 seconds. Many don’t even have the chance to fully form, jumbling together with other pseudo-emotions. The furrowed brows of confusion solidify those of worry. The grimace of fear softens into one of sympathy. They eventually land between uncertainty and unease.*

“He’s still in one piece, is he—?”

[dawny-faethers]

“He succeeded earlier today and managed to take the head off of his statue and transfer it to another. He’s fine but in a weakened state right now.” Dawn explained as she helped the now revealed brother up.

“Hi.” The man waves

“You’re still grounded lay back down.”

“Killjoy.”

[clppd-wngs]

*Far from the boisterous performance they had given Dawn moments ago, their voice is taken down to a something more reminiscent of the old bitty they described themselves as — soft, each syllable drawn out several seconds longer than necessary.*

“Hel-looo, deeeear. How are you feeling?”

[dawny-faethers]

“Well my neck and back hurts and everything feels a bit unsteady.” Angelo remarks as he’s being pushed to laying down in the nest

“Gee I wonder why?” Dawn sarcastically remarked

“She’s just mad because I roped her crush into helping me.”

“It’s not a crush!” Dawn’s feathers had puffed up and her face had turned red

[clppd-wngs]

“Oooh, that sounds just horrible. Why don’t you just lie down now until it feels all better, hmm?”

*The distinct Trans Atlantic accent swiftly sneaks back in at the mention of a crush. Though, this time, taking on a far more smooth lilt.*

“What’s this about a crush now?”

[dawny-faethers]

“It’s nothing! Besides I highly doubt people want to go out with someone with a child. And I doubt I’d even have the time for a relationship. I haven’t even really talked with people for the past few months for crying out loud.”

[clppd-wngs]

“Oh, no, doll—! Apparently, women with children is a whole market! At least, according to the World Wide Web! Must be why it auto-completes as the query…”

“Why, have you taken up babysitting?”

*Five… four… three… two… one…*

“My God, you’re with child—”

[dawny-faethers]

“I adopted, I don’t have the parts for pregnancy. But yes, I have a daughter now. Also what do you mean there’s a market?”

[clppd-wngs]

*The discomfort has reared its head again. Either there’s been a rapid, spontaneous manifestation of adoption agencies, or there’s another reason why Dawn’s daughter was without her birth parents.*

*Although, impromptu appearance of objects isn’t impossible…*

“And her birth parents…?”

[dawny-faethers]

“She’s a nest and not man made. She doesn’t have any birth parents. In fact she was a bird for the first 5 years of her life before anyone found out and I officially adopted her. I’m all she’s known.”

[clppd-wngs]

“And she’s not a bird now because…”

*Now, that’s a new one. They’ve heard of objects becoming people, but never objects being imbued with life five years on. LMaybe she really should look into being magician…*

[dawny-faethers]

“She always could change forms, she just didn’t because she believed I wouldn’t love her if I knew she was an object.”

[clppd-wngs]

“I see…”

*They don’t mean to make a face, they really don’t. At the very least, it’s one of horror rather than repulsion. Truly, what reaction is one supposed to have in this situation?*

[dawny-faethers]

“Yeah it’s pretty weird.” Angelo pipes up, “I’ve been trying to look into how it could happen, but most likely I’d need to interview another nest which I doubt I’d be able to come across easily.”

[clppd-wngs]

“It’s not thing to worry yourself about, dearie.”

*There’s that voice again — it’s slithered its way back in.*

*Is it softer now?*

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[a-calling-void]

"i find the concept of 'taboo' to be worthless. if it causes no harm, why must it be shamed?"

their lower half looks like a massive spider and they wear a spider-silk cloak, along with a piece draped around their waist. they look rather upset.

[clppd-wngs]

“You’re right — I — I don’t know what’s…”

*Evidently, something has struck them. The weight of this something must be immense — what was a confused pout sinks into a frown.*

[a-calling-void]

"What's wrong?"

They look confused and concerned.

[clppd-wngs]

“For a moment, I was almost happy at the idea of not having children…”

“I can’t imagine…”

[a-calling-void]

they smile softly.

"opinions and ideas can change over time. for a long while i thought i'd never want to try for them again.."

[clppd-wngs]

*The heaviness draws their eyes to the floor.*

“I forgot folks like me have got that option now.”

[a-calling-void]

they offer a hand or a hug, they're surprisingly comforting.

"there's always time to learn."

[clppd-wngs]

*A thick layer of dust comes away from Tipp’s wings at Silk’s embrace. The feathers beneath are completely untouched.*

“Thank my lucky stars I’ve already got myself a man, ey…?”

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[a-calling-void]

"i find the concept of 'taboo' to be worthless. if it causes no harm, why must it be shamed?"

their lower half looks like a massive spider and they wear a spider-silk cloak, along with a piece draped around their waist. they look rather upset.

[clppd-wngs]

“You’re right — I — I don’t know what’s…”

*Evidently, something has struck them. The weight of this something must be immense — what was a confused pout sinks into a frown.*

[a-calling-void]

"What's wrong?"

They look confused and concerned.

[clppd-wngs]

“For a moment, I was almost happy at the idea of not having children…”

“I can’t imagine…”

[a-calling-void]

they smile softly.

"opinions and ideas can change over time. for a long while i thought i'd never want to try for them again.."

[clppd-wngs]

*The heaviness draws their eyes to the floor.*

“I forgot folks like me have got that option now.”

[clppd-wngs]

🍫🍬🍩 OOC : I just wanna say that if Tipp seems a little inconsistent at times, it’s because I’m still very much figuring them out as a character and who I want them to be.

🍫🍬🍩OOC : As opposed to Simon, a version of whom has existed since I was in middle school (I’m in my 20s now), they’re fairly new in the big scheme of things (I’ve had them for less than a year).

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[a-calling-void]

"i find the concept of 'taboo' to be worthless. if it causes no harm, why must it be shamed?"

their lower half looks like a massive spider and they wear a spider-silk cloak, along with a piece draped around their waist. they look rather upset.

[clppd-wngs]

“You’re right — I — I don’t know what’s…”

*Evidently, something has struck them. The weight of this something must be immense — what was a confused pout sinks into a frown.*

[a-calling-void]

"What's wrong?"

They look confused and concerned.

[clppd-wngs]

“For a moment, I was almost happy at the idea of not having children…”

“I can’t imagine…”

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[a-calling-void]

"i find the concept of 'taboo' to be worthless. if it causes no harm, why must it be shamed?"

their lower half looks like a massive spider and they wear a spider-silk cloak, along with a piece draped around their waist. they look rather upset.

[clppd-wngs]

“You’re right — I — I don’t know what’s…”

*Evidently, something has struck them. The weight of this something must be immense — what was a confused pout sinks into a frown.*

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[dawny-faethers]

The problem is that men and mammals in general don’t usually become egg pregnant.

[clppd-wngs]

*They inspect themselves up and down — scrutinizing their distinctly homo sapient appearance.*

“Now, of those two categories—”

[clppd-wngs]

“…So I’ve heard being “egg pregnant” is a taboo now…”

“How quaint…”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ladies n' gentlemen, Johnny Splash invites you to the breaker box! Where I will be preformin tomorrow night!... And the night after that... And the night after... and after.. and after... and after...

[clppd-wngs]

“Hmm… Now, what about the night after the night after the night after the night after the night after tonight? I think I’ve got that one free.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

I will, In fact, be preforming that night as well darlin~

Should I be expecting you now?

[clppd-wngs]

“Well, now, I’ve made a commitment, haven’t I? I’m no flighty bird. Funnily enough…”

“Would I be correct in assuming this is THE Johnny Splash to whom I’m speaking?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Yes indeed compadre, the one n' only Johnny Splash! House risin' star- Pleasure to make your acquaintance-

And, might I get a name for you?

[clppd-wngs]

"A rising star?"

"Is it too early to ask you pinch me?"

“Tipp is the name. On account of the object.”

*They make a show of displaying the shiny, crystalline commodity. The dapper hat, the snazzy tie — the little showstopper is dressed to the nines.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

You heard it right muchacho! And uh... Guess I could pinch ya. Long as its... appropriate..

Mighty fine to meet cha Tipp. And might I say, you got quite the star appeal yourself!

[clppd-wngs]

“Paling in comparison, I’m sure.”

*Their hat spins down the length of their arm, swept up in their hand and presented atop their head.*

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny hummed, looking impressed with their trick.]

Ah, quite the flatterer as well~

Tell me darlin, you got an act?

[clppd-wngs]

"Now, I'm willing to admit part of the appeal was the irony—”

*From... somewhere, they unveil a stout, wooden man. If it weren’t for them animating him with their hand, he might be mistaken for being alive. Yet, he’s far from the rosy-cheeked gentleman typically pictured with a ventriloquist. With crisp kakis and a collared shirt, he would look more at home in a tech support office.*

“He’s still getting his sea legs, what with the stage fright and all.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh!

[He, admittedly, looked a tad surprised at the unveiling of the doll. but leaned in after a moment to get a closer look.]

Well now, aint that a quaint surprise. And who's our lil pal here?

[clppd-wngs]

*A shy, nasally voice squeaks out from between Carl’s wooden lips, while Tipp’s are so still that they seems almost painted on.*

“Oh, jeez! Didn’t know there was an interview! My name’s Carl — I’m 35 and I work in IT — When I’m not clacking the keys, as I like to say, I’m visiting my favorite museums, playing DND with the guys, or working on my dioramas. I have two kids — my son, Charlie, and my little princess, Mary. She’s getting to that age where she’s “boy crazy” — I remember when she was just a little tyke, trying on her mom’s make-up. Boy — you know, they always say kids grow up so fast, but you really don’t understand until you have your own…”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Well I'll be...

[Johnny hummed, impressed and happy to play along.]

Well then- Pleasure to meet cha Carl- Names Johnny Splash! couldn't wear it out if you try. Don't feel too shy now- Its just me and I aint no critic..

. . . Unless it's to bug Amir a bit-

[clppd-wngs]

“Sorry if this is rude, but, are you some kind of object person? Wait, am I allowed to say that?"

*Tipp's lips slide open, voice sneaking out the side.*

"Maybe we do ought to get Amir in here for the fella, ey?"

*So that's what they meant by irony...*

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ah, not rude at all darlin- And yes. Your local house shower!

And suppose that wouldn't be the worst idea- Man's never been one to shy from...

.. speakin' his mind-

[clppd-wngs]

"Wiat, who - who's Amir?"

"A MIR?"

"...Yeah?"

"Why, he's the sink!"

*They break the illusion for a moment to wink at Johnny.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny chuckles, picking up on the bit]

Heh.. Ah yes, our darlin sink Amir- Such a gentlesink-

[clppd-wngs]

“I don’t know if this is taboo to ask but, when I pour water down the sink, where does it… GO?”

“Why, I’m glad you asked! It goes down the mouth, through the pipes— and into the water treatment system.”

“Ah. So just normal sink things. Not like a person.”

*Tipp shares a knowing look with Johnny.*

“Yes, you wouldn’t want to be thinking of us like people, would you?”

*As much as it’s able, Carl’s face is animated with panic, eyes jumping between the two.*

“W-Whoa, now — tough crowd—! Its — you’re not really people, are you—? You’re sort of going your own way, r-right—?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny has to stifle his chuckling with his palm as he nods along.]

Pff-Heh.. Noooo, not in the slightest muchacho- Just run o' the mill sinks n' showers- Not people in theeeee slightest-

[clppd-wngs]

“A sink believing he’s human—? R-Ridiculous—!”

*Carl returns to little more than a facade, a mere mimic, as Tipp comes alive with joy. The flush of laughter rushes to cold, metallic cheeks. Tears of mirth overwhelm glass eyes, a smile brightening painted lips.*

*They stare down at Carl.*

“Aah — Martin’s more human than you’ll ever be, pal.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny can't help but break out with them in laughter, almost doubling over, supporting himself on his mic stand. As he comes down, catching his breath and wiping his eyes, he looks to Tipp with a chuckle.]

Whew! Unfortunate for the lil guy really.

But you darlin, you got skill! I'm impressed-

[clppd-wngs]

“Ventriloquism ain’t easy, I’ll give you that.”

“Comedy is observation, see? Humans are always going on about how they love their teddies or their dolls, but the trash cans or the rat traps, weeeell, now they ain’t gonna think those are so pretty. Then they go and crack wise with dummies — wouldn’t it be a hoot if we were alive or had feelings?”

“So I thought, wouldn’t it be stitch if they was the dummies? If the joke, as it were, were a character of their lives, of what they’re saying about us, instead of us being the punchline?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny nods along with their explanation, giving an impressed hum.]

Hm, clever. Very clever there indeed darlin.. Recon you got a fine act there with Carl! I certainly enjoy it-

Now tell me this- How often you bring this little show to an audience?

[clppd-wngs]

“And go on after THE Johnny Splash? I’m a clown, not a fool—!”

*Their hair is twirled around their finger as they play the part of the helpless dove.*

“Surely, a gentleman like yourself wouldn’t mind the favor of introducing little old me on-stage.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Favor? Why darlin it would be an HONOR to do so! Lord knows dear ol' Volt has been lookin for some fine fresh faces like yourself-

[clppd-wngs]

“Fresh, ey? Well, the sticker said I had a week left—”

*They conjure a mirror, miming checking for an expiration date.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny snickers a bit, leaning against his mic stand.]

A week? You ask me darlin I woulda said you're right in your prime-

[clppd-wngs]

“Good man, good man.”

“Any man worth his salt knows never to ask an object about their fate of manufacturing.”

“Though, I’m sure a fella like you has plenty of experience with the birds and the bucks…~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

What can I say? Mama raised a gentleshower and I ain't in the habit of disapointin' her-

Birds and the bucks...

[That one took him a moment but-]

O-Oh-! Um-

[Maybe surprisingly, he flusters a bit, and struggles to compose himself.]

Well I uh... You'd be surprised..

[clppd-wngs]

“Have I said something?”

*In a chance instance, the double entendres flies over their head… though, only for a moment. When it comes home to roost, along with it comes the soft coo of “ooooh” in understanding.*

“Ah — it seems my age has caught up to me — the ladies and the gentlemen, hun — and of course, the otherwise, like yours truly.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh heavens to Betsy you didn't mean that the way I thought you did...

[He mumbles in a way that sounds a tad relieved- and better recomposes himself.]

I like to think I am~

[clppd-wngs]

“No, no — the avians and the insects don’t come around until the third date—”

*They preen themselves, a hand running through their comb of red hair.*

“And I quite fancy knowing you are.~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ladies n' gentlemen, Johnny Splash invites you to the breaker box! Where I will be preformin tomorrow night!... And the night after that... And the night after... and after.. and after... and after...

[clppd-wngs]

“Hmm… Now, what about the night after the night after the night after the night after the night after tonight? I think I’ve got that one free.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

I will, In fact, be preforming that night as well darlin~

Should I be expecting you now?

[clppd-wngs]

“Well, now, I’ve made a commitment, haven’t I? I’m no flighty bird. Funnily enough…”

“Would I be correct in assuming this is THE Johnny Splash to whom I’m speaking?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Yes indeed compadre, the one n' only Johnny Splash! House risin' star- Pleasure to make your acquaintance-

And, might I get a name for you?

[clppd-wngs]

"A rising star?"

"Is it too early to ask you pinch me?"

“Tipp is the name. On account of the object.”

*They make a show of displaying the shiny, crystalline commodity. The dapper hat, the snazzy tie — the little showstopper is dressed to the nines.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

You heard it right muchacho! And uh... Guess I could pinch ya. Long as its... appropriate..

Mighty fine to meet cha Tipp. And might I say, you got quite the star appeal yourself!

[clppd-wngs]

“Paling in comparison, I’m sure.”

*Their hat spins down the length of their arm, swept up in their hand and presented atop their head.*

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny hummed, looking impressed with their trick.]

Ah, quite the flatterer as well~

Tell me darlin, you got an act?

[clppd-wngs]

"Now, I'm willing to admit part of the appeal was the irony—”

*From... somewhere, they unveil a stout, wooden man. If it weren’t for them animating him with their hand, he might be mistaken for being alive. Yet, he’s far from the rosy-cheeked gentleman typically pictured with a ventriloquist. With crisp kakis and a collared shirt, he would look more at home in a tech support office.*

“He’s still getting his sea legs, what with the stage fright and all.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Oh!

[He, admittedly, looked a tad surprised at the unveiling of the doll. but leaned in after a moment to get a closer look.]

Well now, aint that a quaint surprise. And who's our lil pal here?

[clppd-wngs]

*A shy, nasally voice squeaks out from between Carl’s wooden lips, while Tipp’s are so still that they seems almost painted on.*

“Oh, jeez! Didn’t know there was an interview! My name’s Carl — I’m 35 and I work in IT — When I’m not clacking the keys, as I like to say, I’m visiting my favorite museums, playing DND with the guys, or working on my dioramas. I have two kids — my son, Charlie, and my little princess, Mary. She’s getting to that age where she’s “boy crazy” — I remember when she was just a little tyke, trying on her mom’s make-up. Boy — you know, they always say kids grow up so fast, but you really don’t understand until you have your own…”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Well I'll be...

[Johnny hummed, impressed and happy to play along.]

Well then- Pleasure to meet cha Carl- Names Johnny Splash! couldn't wear it out if you try. Don't feel too shy now- Its just me and I aint no critic..

. . . Unless it's to bug Amir a bit-

[clppd-wngs]

“Sorry if this is rude, but, are you some kind of object person? Wait, am I allowed to say that?"

*Tipp's lips slide open, voice sneaking out the side.*

"Maybe we do ought to get Amir in here for the fella, ey?"

*So that's what they meant by irony...*

[singin-in-the-shower]

Ah, not rude at all darlin- And yes. Your local house shower!

And suppose that wouldn't be the worst idea- Man's never been one to shy from...

.. speakin' his mind-

[clppd-wngs]

"Wiat, who - who's Amir?"

"A MIR?"

"...Yeah?"

"Why, he's the sink!"

*They break the illusion for a moment to wink at Johnny.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny chuckles, picking up on the bit]

Heh.. Ah yes, our darlin sink Amir- Such a gentlesink-

[clppd-wngs]

“I don’t know if this is taboo to ask but, when I pour water down the sink, where does it… GO?”

“Why, I’m glad you asked! It goes down the mouth, through the pipes— and into the water treatment system.”

“Ah. So just normal sink things. Not like a person.”

*Tipp shares a knowing look with Johnny.*

“Yes, you wouldn’t want to be thinking of us like people, would you?”

*As much as it’s able, Carl’s face is animated with panic, eyes jumping between the two.*

“W-Whoa, now — tough crowd—! Its — you’re not really people, are you—? You’re sort of going your own way, r-right—?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny has to stifle his chuckling with his palm as he nods along.]

Pff-Heh.. Noooo, not in the slightest muchacho- Just run o' the mill sinks n' showers- Not people in theeeee slightest-

[clppd-wngs]

“A sink believing he’s human—? R-Ridiculous—!”

*Carl returns to little more than a facade, a mere mimic, as Tipp comes alive with joy. The flush of laughter rushes to cold, metallic cheeks. Tears of mirth overwhelm glass eyes, a smile brightening painted lips.*

*They stare down at Carl.*

“Aah — Martin’s more human than you’ll ever be, pal.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny can't help but break out with them in laughter, almost doubling over, supporting himself on his mic stand. As he comes down, catching his breath and wiping his eyes, he looks to Tipp with a chuckle.]

Whew! Unfortunate for the lil guy really.

But you darlin, you got skill! I'm impressed-

[clppd-wngs]

“Ventriloquism ain’t easy, I’ll give you that.”

“Comedy is observation, see? Humans are always going on about how they love their teddies or their dolls, but the trash cans or the rat traps, weeeell, now they ain’t gonna think those are so pretty. Then they go and crack wise with dummies — wouldn’t it be a hoot if we were alive or had feelings?”

“So I thought, wouldn’t it be stitch if they was the dummies? If the joke, as it were, were a character of their lives, of what they’re saying about us, instead of us being the punchline?”

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny nods along with their explanation, giving an impressed hum.]

Hm, clever. Very clever there indeed darlin.. Recon you got a fine act there with Carl! I certainly enjoy it-

Now tell me this- How often you bring this little show to an audience?

[clppd-wngs]

“And go on after THE Johnny Splash? I’m a clown, not a fool—!”

*Their hair is twirled around their finger as they play the part of the helpless dove.*

“Surely, a gentleman like yourself wouldn’t mind the favor of introducing little old me on-stage.”

[singin-in-the-shower]

Favor? Why darlin it would be an HONOR to do so! Lord knows dear ol' Volt has been lookin for some fine fresh faces like yourself-

[clppd-wngs]

“Fresh, ey? Well, the sticker said I had a week left—”

*They conjure a mirror, miming checking for an expiration date.*

[singin-in-the-shower]

[Johnny snickers a bit, leaning against his mic stand.]

A week? You ask me darlin I woulda said you're right in your prime-

[clppd-wngs]

“Good man, good man.”

“Any man worth his salt knows never to ask an object about their fate of manufacturing.”

“Though, I’m sure a fella like you has plenty of experience with the birds and the bucks…~”

[singin-in-the-shower]

What can I say? Mama raised a gentleshower and I ain't in the habit of disapointin' her-

Birds and the bucks...

[That one took him a moment but-]

O-Oh-! Um-

[Maybe surprisingly, he flusters a bit, and struggles to compose himself.]

Well I uh... You'd be surprised..

[clppd-wngs]

“Have I said something?”

*In a chance instance, the double entendres flies over their head… though, only for a moment. When it comes home to roost, along with it comes the soft coo of “ooooh” in understanding.*

“Ah — it seems my age has caught up to me — the ladies and the gentlemen, hun — and of course, the otherwise, like yours truly.”

[clppd-wngs]

“Daaawny, darling — there you are—!”

“How long has it been? Do you know what year it is? Quick, what’s my name—?”

*Their seemingly frantic questions come with the asterisk of an unmistakable, goofy smile.*

[dawny-faethers]

4 months, and it’s 2026. I’m sorry I haven’t been rather social, I’ve been a bit busy with plenty of things.

[clppd-wngs]

“Tsk tsk — you’re going to give an old bitty like me a heart attack if you keep disappearing!”

“Y’know, if Bobby ever calls out sick, I’m sure you’d be a shoe-in for magician’s assistant.”

“Anywho… how goes it, my friend?”

[dawny-faethers]

“I’ve been busy with going back to school and homeschooling my daughter.…and keeping my brother from breaking himself in his attempts to modify his object.” Out of all the things she mentioned it was obvious the last one was the most draining one to Dawn.

“I’m being safe!” A voice yelled from across the room.

“You can’t even cook! Why in the world would I let you take a chisel to the stupid statue!”

“The statue is me!”

“You’re in the middle of trying to shatter yourself ”

There is a sound of something hitting the floor.

“Oh god damn it!” Dawn rushes over to her sub space

[clppd-wngs]

*It’s impossible to tell how many expressions Tipp’s face is put through in a little over 30 seconds. Many don’t even have the chance to fully form, jumbling together with other pseudo-emotions. The furrowed brows of confusion solidify those of worry. The grimace of fear softens into one of sympathy. They eventually land between uncertainty and unease.*

“He’s still in one piece, is he—?”

[dawny-faethers]

“He succeeded earlier today and managed to take the head off of his statue and transfer it to another. He’s fine but in a weakened state right now.” Dawn explained as she helped the now revealed brother up.

“Hi.” The man waves

“You’re still grounded lay back down.”

“Killjoy.”

[clppd-wngs]

*Far from the boisterous performance they had given Dawn moments ago, their voice is taken down to a something more reminiscent of the old bitty they described themselves as — soft, each syllable drawn out several seconds longer than necessary.*

“Hel-looo, deeeear. How are you feeling?”

[dawny-faethers]

“Well my neck and back hurts and everything feels a bit unsteady.” Angelo remarks as he’s being pushed to laying down in the nest

“Gee I wonder why?” Dawn sarcastically remarked

“She’s just mad because I roped her crush into helping me.”

“It’s not a crush!” Dawn’s feathers had puffed up and her face had turned red

[clppd-wngs]

“Oooh, that sounds just horrible. Why don’t you just lie down now until it feels all better, hmm?”

*The distinct Trans Atlantic accent swiftly sneaks back in at the mention of a crush. Though, this time, taking on a far more smooth lilt.*

“What’s this about a crush now?”

[dawny-faethers]

“It’s nothing! Besides I highly doubt people want to go out with someone with a child. And I doubt I’d even have the time for a relationship. I haven’t even really talked with people for the past few months for crying out loud.”

[clppd-wngs]

“Oh, no, doll—! Apparently, women with children is a whole market! At least, according to the World Wide Web! Must be why it auto-completes as the query…”

“Why, have you taken up babysitting?”

*Five… four… three… two… one…*

“My God, you’re with child—”

[dawny-faethers]

“I adopted, I don’t have the parts for pregnancy. But yes, I have a daughter now. Also what do you mean there’s a market?”

[clppd-wngs]

*The discomfort has reared its head again. Either there’s been a rapid, spontaneous manifestation of adoption agencies, or there’s another reason why Dawn’s daughter was without her birth parents.*

*Although, impromptu appearance of objects isn’t impossible…*

“And her birth parents…?”

[dawny-faethers]

“She’s a nest and not man made. She doesn’t have any birth parents. In fact she was a bird for the first 5 years of her life before anyone found out and I officially adopted her. I’m all she’s known.”

[clppd-wngs]

“And she’s not a bird now because…”

*Now, that’s a new one. They’ve heard of objects becoming people, but never objects being imbued with life five years on. LMaybe she really should look into being magician…*

[dawny-faethers]

“She always could change forms, she just didn’t because she believed I wouldn’t love her if I knew she was an object.”

[clppd-wngs]

“I see…”

*They don’t mean to make a face, they really don’t. At the very least, it’s one of horror rather than repulsion. Truly, what reaction is one supposed to have in this situation?*