Coffee And Swears

ned, one million years old / ?????

[witchesversuspatriarchy]

It’s infuriating how so many women were (and still are) discriminated against for being female

[wanderingchaos]

she also killed and dissected a rabbit so that her peter rabbit would be as ACCURATE as possible. all the magic of countless children’s childhoods was built upon the bones of a single bunny’s sacrifice. how delightful. how horrific. what necromancer could dream of such impact with a single stroke of their blade.

[whetstonefires]

(celebrated children’s fantasist) diana wynne jones said that she once wandered into beatrix potter’s yard by accident as a kid and got chased off because beatrix potter disliked children, which really fits into the rest of this quite neatly

[guerrillatech]

[dragonflea]

̸͙̏̋̀B̸͈̪̤̑Ŕ̶̲̍̄Ề̵̡A̷̺͔͋D̶̦͍̔͝ ̶͕̹͚̇́̊Í̸̮S̸̯̿̌̏ ̴̲͓̾B̷͚̂̐̍A̷͚̬̾ͅD̷͔͇͎̐̏ ̷̳̭̒͗F̶̛͇O̷͉͉͐R̵̲̄͋̀ ̶̳͎̊͝O̵̖̥͝U̷̝̗͉̓Ŕ̷̨͔̊̉ ̷̙̫̜̂Ḓ̴̰̝͊̍̆Ḭ̷̧̬̋̏̃G̴̣̮̮̏E̷͈̳̠̎̓S̴̜̐T̴͓͚͋ͅI̷̙͙̚͝͝V̷͍̖̹̇̅̈Ȩ̵̿ ̸͇̔̍S̸̨͖̭͂͂Y̴̱̎̌̾S̸̖̣̊́͑Ṫ̶͎̠̼̔E̶͕̳͋̓M̶͓̼̄͜S̵̰̐̓͗.̸̫̒̂͛ ̶̪͕̥̉͝R̶̟̪̂̀Ẽ̵̗̥ͅP̶̺̏E̴͓͖͆Ń̵̘̯́͘T̸͉̃ ̷̱̔͠Ȧ̵̡̱̼Ṋ̷̔̆D̴̫̰́̈́͜ ̸̘̘̖̓̉͘F̵̢͍̟́E̴̹̪͙̓Ḛ̵̚D̸̰͝ ̶͔͖͈͂̐͗M̶̬̣̓͠Ę̸̋ ̵̧̢̞͒̾͝S̸̫̲̍̅͠E̷͈̓̒̈E̷͖͝D̷̨͕̒̌̈́S̸͎̞̦͂͐ ̴̦͈̬̊̀̆

[fashion-runways]

NAEEM KHAN Fall/Winter Ready-To-Wear 2017 if you want to support this blog consider donating to: ko-fi.com/fashionrunways

[coffeeandswears]

God I LOVE fashion. Every collection is a complete mix of things that look like lampshades you stole from your grandmother and jaw-dropping works of art you’d steal your grandmother’s lamps to acquire.

[itscolossal]

Thick Brushstrokes Form Plump Songbirds in Oil Paintings by Angela Moulton

[inaminadikaaa]

[copperbadge]

This is so relatable we made it the avatar image for our secret We Hate Our Work chat at work. 

[afatlittledog]

all vampires are invited and encouraged to drink me like a caprisun just slurp

[catchymemes]

[mermaholic]

An image from the 1920s!

(Also, possibly, my dreams.)

blushes.

[alwaysbewoke]

Story

[hyperchlorite-deactivated201811]

Big ADHD mood

[scottandhiskind]

Big anxiety/depression mood as well

[alloverthegaf]

crime show: well we don’t know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she’s mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she’s saying ‘those three wise men they’ve got a semi by the sea’ which are lyrics to James Blunt’s song ‘Wisemen’ which was playing on that store’s favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore

[alloverthegaf]

crime show: now see usually we’d manage to get a timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would think this means we shouldn’t be able to see the footage at all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it as their background footage while recording yesterday so

[jenroses]

yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?

[alloverthegaf]

unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as I zoom in on this super blurry pixelated image you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify

[paintmeahero]

But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens?

[alloverthegaf]

good eye! originally I didn’t even notice it was there but while combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed while in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn’t help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means

[mongolman101]

Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the time of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building!

[alloverthegaf]

DAMNIT JONES THIS ISN’T YOUR CASE

[mongolman101]

WELL IT’S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we’re supposed to work together. I’m not any happier than you are.

[alloverthegaf]

but I hate sharing!

[mongolman101]

TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that’s been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don’t like it any more than you do, and I’m worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?!

[alloverthegaf]

Alright, but when we catch the perp he’s mine. I don’t care if he’s sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I won’t let anyone get in my way - not even someone with your develish smile.

[mongolman101]

Do you think you’re the only one who wants to find Eric’s murderer?! He was my partner! He was my friend! I know we haven’t worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don’t worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn’t ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned!

[alloverthegaf]

Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have him!

But you’re right. This case will definitely take at least a full year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be halloween themed. We’re working together for the forseeable future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to keep secrets.

And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can really get across how Not Gay I am.

It’s gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be stakeouts.

[brain3at3r]

executive producer dick wolf

[havanasliu]

I don’t have that many close female friendships.

[ein-bleistift-und-radiergummi]

Norma Shearer, 1920s.

[divinemissmolly]

“Exhausted witch” is a mood though lol

[gothiccharmschool]

Exhausted Witch is SUCH a mood.

[donnajosh]

[aqua-regia009]

Graca Loureiro

[merle-casts-zone-of-truth]

Wilde we know you’re gay but please