Coffee + White Coat

1st year medical student, food lover

[coffeeandwhitecoat]

Moving Blog Platform

I’ll be posting more of my posts on wordpress, so feel free to follow me there :))

https://whitecoatandcoffee.wordpress.com/

[coffeeandwhitecoat]

The virus is still alive and well; my morale, not so much.

July 9, 2020

I’m really disappointed at the way this country’s administration has handled the pandemic and I’m not surprised to see a resurgence of cases after reopening. I feel a lot of uncertainty and uneasiness about starting school during a tumultuous time. I’m still trying to come to terms with the reality that I won’t get to connect and interact with my peers as frequently as I would like. Although the state does not currently have a strict stay-at-home order and and there have been opportunities for get-togethers, the increase in COVID cases has me feeling really cautious about going out, especially in groups. I’m a little afraid that I’ll have to endure even more isolation and that isn’t good when I’m about to immerse myself in an overwhelming curriculum. When I planned my move here I decided to live alone, betting on the chance that school would reopen by the Fall semester and I could build my social support network on campus. But that seems far from reality. Orientation is coming up next week, which will be virtual. And classes start the following week, which is essentially online. We’re forced to adapt outside our comfort zone in medical school already, but the added layer of a pandemic is really gonna test us.

Gyms have reopened here, but deciding to go is a constant inner conflict. When I go, I wear a mask, I social distance, I wash my hands, and I wipe down equipment before and after use. Post-workout, I feel a sense of relief and I feel better about myself. But still, the surest and safest way to protect me and others is to stay at home. And do I really need to go when I can workout at home? It’s not the same, but I also feel guilty after going out.

On a brighter note, I decided to take a chance to explore some of Colorado. I saw a lot of murals and art installations throughout the 16th St. mall. Denver has some of the artsy aesthetics and Instagram worthy pics as some of the other major cities, and it was nice to not deal with crowds. I also went on a hike at Castlewood Canyon State Park and… wow, what a beautiful scenery. The diverse foliage and rock formations and the creek made for a visually stunning hike and it was so peaceful. I’m planning to go on another hike at Roxborough State Park and I’m looking forward to exploring more of the natural, gorgeous sceneries Colorado has to offer.

[coffeeandwhitecoat]

Party for One

June 22, 2020

Initially, I planned on writing a blog post once a month, but I thought I’d be generous and offer a two for one special. So, I survived my first week in Colorado. Mostly it’s just been filled with settling in and occupying my time with IKEA and Walmart runs. Having to go up three flights of stairs has me reconsidering if I need furniture though. I’ve been trying to get to know the area and figure out where to go grocery shopping, which gym to use, and where to get my car washed. Everything here is so spread out and it’s not densely packed with buildings. There’s plenty of open fields and hiking trails throughout these parts. There’s even a large grazing land with livestock that I pass by daily on my way to IKEA. I have yet to explore the nature trail that’s right in my backyard.

One of the things I do miss about living at home is always having food available. Now I have to get back into doing my own groceries and cooking my own meals, that’s if I remember I need to eat. It’s also been a lonely feeling to sit down for dinner and hear…. nothing. Only the clink of my fork echoing in this empty apartment. A lot of times I keep thinking maybe I made the wrong choice. Starting all over again in a new city is not an easy thing, it’s intimidating especially when there’s no one out here I know that can help me through. I did say hi to a few of my neighbors. One of them recently graduated from the school I’ll be attending and will be starting his family medicine residency. But that means he’s moving out. He was really kind enough to offer me his old textbooks for FREE and he talked to me about his experience in med school. I have yet to meet any of my classmates, I’m hoping there will be some get together soon. Would be nice to have a friend out here.

[coffeeandwhitecoat]

One Week and a Day

June 4, 2020

I am one week and a day away until I begin my move towards the rocky mountains. Boxes have been packed, mostly with kitchen and dining ware. I can’t help but feel like I’m missing something or I have far too many things to fit into my car. My parents have decided to come along and help me move, so they will be taking a second car out. I’m a little concerned because my dad is not the safest driver in the world and I’m constantly holding on to dear life every time I’m in the car with him. 

I went to SD last weekend and I’m fortunate to be able to spend time with some friends before I leave, I won’t find another like them. But it still felt like an anticlimactic farewell and I didn’t get to see everyone. Sadness hasn’t hit me yet, maybe because I’ve gotten used to the distance living a few cities away. But this time the distance is growing wider and I’ll be living a few states away. I probably won’t feel the sadness and longing until I’m actually living there. 

One of my biggest concerns about starting medical school is the isolation. I don’t know a single soul out there. I feel like I made the big mistake of deciding to live without roommates. I assumed campus would reopen this semester and I’ll have that opportunity to make friends and meet people there. But the way the pandemic is going, I don’t see the campus reopening until maybe the end of this year. Going through a significant life change like this requires major readjustment. I have to get used to living in a new city, new state, and adjust my study habits to the medical curriculum and the overwhelming information thrown at me. It’s times like this that make social support so crucial for me…

The school recently sent out the pre-orientation training course that’s supposed to inform us about what to expect when starting medical school and give us the skills to prepare us for success. I’ve been putting it off because the thought of starting school already stresses me out, honestly I’m terrified that I won’t make it through medical school; maybe the information will be too much for me to handle, or I won’t impress my attendings during clinical rotations, or I’ll encounter a difficult patient and I wouldn’t know how react. I’m bound to encounter at least one of these, but kind of hoping that I do because at least I’ll be in a learning environment where I can improve on my mistakes. Growth doesn’t come from staying in your comfort zone. 

[coffeeandwhitecoat]

The Bucket List

May 15, 2020

Almost every premed has their “Before Starting Medical School” bucket list. After putting in years of hard work and delaying gratification, we’ve now secured an acceptance and time is finally on our side. Once school starts, I can expect to spend most of my time studying for the next four years. Then comes residency, where I’ll be working 50-80 hours a week for 3+ years. Total freedom doesn’t come often and you’re only in your 20s once. Before committing to the intense grind of medical school and beyond, I carved out two months for myself to accomplish all that is on my list:

Travel. I love the idea of exploring the world, but I’ve only traveled to the Philippines. If I could go back in time and do something differently, I would’ve studied abroad. Although that moment has passed, now feels like the perfect time to travel internationally and I was looking to go to Iceland or Norway in particular.

Beaches. Hailing from the west coast, I’ve had the convenience of having beaches within driving distance. Soon I’ll be placed in the middle of the country with no coasts in sight, so I wanted to savor every moment that I had at the beach.

Taylor Swift concert. I became a fan of Taylor Swift when I was introduced to 1989, but I have never seen her in concert. Then I saw the Reputation tour on Netflix and I. Have. Been. Missing. Out. She can put on a performance and Taylor Swift’s music is everything, so I definitely needed to go to Lover Fest.

Coachella. Honestly this was just for the gram and to be able to say that I went. 

California theme parks. There are no Disneylands or Six Flags where I’m heading and it has been a hot minute since I’ve been to these places. Fortunately I was at least able to go to Disney California Adventure this year before they all shut down. 

Road trip with parents. They’re getting older and I won’t have this much free time to spend with them. We had plans to go to Arizona to visit Horseshoe Bend and Antelope Canyon.

Catch up with old friends and say my goodbyes. 

Unfortunately the global pandemic created a sudden disruption in our lives and these plans came to a screeching halt. This isn’t the most devastating thing to happen and other people definitely have it far worse. But still, it’s a bummer I won’t be able to do most of these things before my days are spent in books and clinics. I may not be able to complete this list now, but I’m sure there will be other moments in the future to do each of these things. And now that we’re in lock down I have no excuse to put off reading the mountain of books I’ve collected. I can also veg out without the guilt of being a non-productive member of society.