Hello, I hope you are having an astounding day! I’ve been wondering if you could write a snippet about a sapiosexual villain and their smart, methodical henchman/ scientist. If you don’t want or can’t do that, I understand. Thank you for the gorgeous writing! 💕
People often assumed that the work of a henchman was simple, purely physical. All you had to do was look tough and intimidating.
At a professional level, every gun shot required quick mathematical calculation, every blow an equation of angles and force. At any given time the villain could turn to their henchman and be presented with solutions. The most effective way into a building, the quickest way out in a pinch. Their henchman was a map of entries and exits; the whole city was sitting pretty and 3D somewhere in his brain.
Even when their - especially when their - dangerously smart and actually quite tough and intimidating looking too, henchman had them plastered up against the front door of their apartment. With a deadly look in his eyes.
"Um," the villain said, raising a brow.
"Are you deliberately placing yourself in danger so you can watch me get you out of it?"
The villain's face heated, because, um. It wasn't exactly deliberately, they were not a complete idiot. But they were also aware that they had been pushing their luck more than often recently, precisely so they could watch the way their henchman shifted gears so exquisitely.
Their henchman's grip tightened.
"Don't pretend you don't love the thrill of the puzzle!" The villain wet their dry lips. "I know you do. You'd be terribly bored if all I ever did was have you stand in a corner looking menacing. I'm simply being a good employer, you know? I'm offering you enrichment."
"At the risk of your life."
"Gambling for pennies is no fun."
"It's what I keep you around for." The villain tried for a winning smile.
Their henchman's grip didn't budge. His gaze raked down the villain's face, their body, and he had that -
Oh no. He had the calculating face on.
The villain squirmed, clearing their throat, turning their head away. It was one thing adoringly staring at their employee when the henchman wasn't looking back. It was another for him to know the way that the villain gazed at him, know the reaction the villain had every time they started doing-
"Look, it all turned out fine," the villain did their best to sound stern and commanding, despite the stupid twist of heat and panic mixing in their stomach. "So get off me. I'm your boss, you can't - manhandle me like this."
"You're right," their henchman said. He still didn't let go. "I do love puzzles. I love figuring out how to make your madcap ideas work, because you're always onto something. I love solving problems for you because every day is something different. What I don't love is the thought of you dying because you have a crush on me, and can't seem to find a safer puzzle to get off to."
The villain's face burned.
"I-"
"I'm talking now. You're listening."
The villain's mouth snapped shut.
"So, that leaves us with a problem, doesn't it? Look at me."
The villain met the henchman's gaze, wide-eyed. Their henchman still had that mile-a-minute expression, and the villain stared at it almost helplessly. They wished they could read thoughts, they wished they could display all of their henchman's internal maths on a canvass and hang it on a wall in the bedroom.
"Luckily for you," the henchman's voice dipped lower, "as covered, I'm very good at solving problems." His grip eased, finally, but he didn't step away, palms sliding down the slightly torn front of the villain's coat, undoing the buttons and shoving it off the villain's shoulders.
The villain's brain whirled.
"I'm not a problem." They didn't - they'd imagined the henchman returning their feelings in a fantasy. None of that was meant to be some calculated thing, however much they enjoyed their henchman's cold logic. They didn't want the henchman to do anything with them just because they thought the villain would be reckless otherwise. This had backfired. This had backfired so badly. "I won't do it again, I promise! I know I was stupid and-"
The henchman kissed them. Short, sweet, nothing cold about it.
The villain's breath stuttered.
"You most certainly are a problem." The henchman's lips trailed up the villain's jaw. "My favourite problem, in fact. Have been for a while. Nearly losing you today made me realise that."
The villain gripped the front of the henchman's t-shirt, heart pounding.
"That's not to say you should do it again," the henchman added, biting down, drawing a groan from the villain's lips as their head tipped back. "That's me saying, if you want to watch me solve a puzzle, I can think of no shortage of puzzles we can play together. Would that work as an alternative solution?"
"Excellent." Their henchman drew back, eyes dark, and full of plans. "I think we'll start with 'how quickly can I unravel you, what do you think?"
"I think," the villain said, very serious, "you should figure out how to get your clothes off in the next thirty seconds before I rip them off you. If you want to keep them, that is."
The henchman laughed, and shoved them in the direction of the bedroom.
Near death experience was rarely a problem after that.