THERAPY FOR A VAMPIRE (2014)
Original title, Der Vampir auf der Couch
Film, Romantic Comedy. subtitled.
The Vampires: Classic Dracula-style. Antagonists.
A young couple’s relationship gets increasingly complicated when they cross paths with a married pair of vampires, who’re having love-troubles of their own.
When was the last time you saw a vampire with a counting compulsion, outside of Sesame Street? Did you even know that was a thing with vampires? Therapy for a Vampire gives their bloodsuckers all sorts of the classic trappings: aversion to sunlight and garlic, lack of a reflection, transformations into bats and (the less commonly used) wolves, stakes through the heart. They even have a Renfield-esque assistant.
But the movie also includes some interesting new vampire inventions that I don’t think I’ve seen before: likenesses unable to be captured by sculpture or paint, reincarnation-revival rituals (a la The Mummy), weird rules for newly-turned vampires. Perhaps this is the movie’s biggest complication; it spends so much time introducing or establishing each of these little vampire quirks that it doesn’t have nearly enough time to spend on the main plot or deeper character development.
The most interesting element of the film is the relationship problems of this vampire couple who’ve been married for 500 years. Count Geza von Kozsnom realizes he doesn’t love his wife, and pines for a woman he lost hundreds of years ago. Countess Elsa von Kozsnom is insecure about her beauty, having been unable to see herself captured in mirrors, painting, or sculpture. You certainly feel sympathetic towards these two, even if they are technically the villains of the movie. Sadly, neither problem really resolves itself in a satisfactory way, when the ending becomes too action-focused for its own good.
The other two main characters in this story, the human couple, aren’t nearly as compelling. Their relationship troubles are a little less clear, and not particularly sympathetic. A number of times, I found myself rooting against the young painter, who never really appreciates his girlfriend. His girlfriend, too, is a little one-note. Her personality changes with a flip of a switch in the middle of the movie, and then stays that way for the rest of it.
That being said, the movie has some really fantastic visuals and a clear and appealing aesthetic. There’re a number of rather humorous scenes, particularly dealing with the vampires’ arithmomania. And Sigmund Freud, while woefully underused, is quite an adorable old man in his scenes.
Therapy for a Vampire is a fun movie that tries to do a few fun new things within the classic Dracula mold, but ultimately doesn’t do enough to stray far from its comfort zone.
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