Coffin of Confections @coffinofconfections - Tumblr Blog

Hi, this is a side blog for traumacore, weirdcore/dreamcore, and venting. It will be triggering to some but I use CWs at the top of posts and in tags.

My weird/dream/traumacore edits are here.

Enby | they/them | adult

Minors please DNI

I'm a survivor of various traumas from childhood to adulthood and have mental illness diagnoses. I'm also plural. We support all plurals regardless of origin.

*Please don't yell at me in DMs, you will be ignored. I just want to be an inclusive and accepting person because you never know what someone is dealing with. I've deleted some stuff in this intro but that doesn't mean I don't still hold those values, I'm just tired and dealing with enough and don't want to get yelled at again by bad-faith anons. I'm struggling right now and the last thing I need is some douchebag forcing their shitty opinion down my throat, so I've turned off anonymous DMs.

#traumacore #weirdcore #dreamcore #nostalgiacore #liminal spaces #trauma survivor #vent blog

I find myself in another moment where I can't see any way out of my current mindset.

The truth is, no one is coming to save me. No one is going to be there every time I need food or support. No matter how much more severe my disabilities continue to get (the CFS specifically), I am painfully aware of my shaky safety net consisting of a meager fixed income that no one could survive on, even with help.

I don't get to eat healthy meals. I eat the same processed things every month because it's all I can afford. And I often run so low that I no longer have meals but a little something here or there to keep me going; a can of vienna sausages, a single-serve bag of jasmine rice, peanut butter crackers, cereal with almond milk if I'm lucky. A couple Healthy Choice TV dinners left to stretch two weeks. The last of the bread and turkey lunch meat and cheese slices.

I'm too chronically ill to find the energy to cook for myself. Add in having GERD and dysautonomia and I have to be careful what I eat depending on the day, so if I bulk prepare a food that my stomach decides it suddenly doesn't like a few days later when it was fine before... I'm screwed.

I have no idea what it's like to have a healthy meal every day. Like... a whole meal. Three of them. Daily. What is that like? I tried to get meal delivery services, but I was denied because I'm too young at 36 to qualify. Elderly only. Nothing else mattered to them. It didn't matter how ill I am.

When you're considered young-ish, you're expected to be abled. And when you're not, the world abandons you to rot.

y2kplaysthetics

Visit Original Link

Made another vaporwave track. This one got me thinking of the weather network. All original, no samples.

What do you think?

traumatizeddfox

having trauma is a constant battle of trauma dumping and not even intentionally doing it because your entire life is a trauma landfill and sometimes you just be talking about your life and you’re not even venting you’re just yapping!!!

adustoflove

professionally diagnosed with people treated me like absolute shit so now I'm mentally fucked for life disorder

homunculus-argument

Sometimes it feels like you've lived your whole life in a house that's always a little bit on fire. Like it's usually just in one room and you make sure to wet the walls around it so it doesn't spread and that usually works. You were expected to take more responsibility over fire containment when you were like seven because it's not like you can expect your parents to always be 100% on guard about making sure the whole house doesn't catch fire, and you figure that's just how things are like.

And sometimes as a kid you visit your friends' homes and some of then whisper to you - grimacing with embarrassment - about how they're not supposed to tell anyone this, but there's a whole room in their house that's currently on fire. And you're like yeah it's ok I'm not supposed to tell people about the way our house is a little bit on fire all the time, too. And then you visit some other friend's house and there's no trace of fire anywhere, and you think "wow, these people are really good at hiding their house fire."

And one day you show up to work like "hey sorry I'm late, I forgot to wet the walls before going to bed last night and my whole house burned down", and you're startled by the way people react, acting like that must be the worst thing that has ever happened to you. And you're just like "chill, it's been years since the last time this happened, and it wasn't even that bad this time", and that just makes people more shocked, acting like that's the weirdest and most concerning thing they've ever heard anyone say, which only confuses you more.

And then someone tries to explain to you that people aren't supposed to have an ongoing house fire. Most people actually never experience a house fire in their lives. Like not even once. Not even a little bit. The normal amount of having your house be currently on fire is zero.