JOHN MULANEY: I normally donât notice people. I zone out constantly. Have you ever zoned out for a few minutes? Iâve been zoned out since 2014.
MULANEY: I just - all day long, I wander into traffic walking like Charlie Chaplin, listening to a podcast while thinking about a different podcast.Â
MULANEY: I can zone out anywhere - I was at the doctorâs office, he was reading me the results of a blood test, it was important I listened, and I zoned out! I was like, ânah, Iâm gonna stare at the wall and think my thoughtsâ.
MULANEY: I was like, âhuh. None of the Beatles had moustaches⊠but then one day, all of them had moustaches.â
MULANEY: âThatâs weird, I canât think of a time a group has done thatâ. Some people in my life donât want me to zone out as much - they want me to focus, and they want me to be in the moment, and they want me to do this by meditating. I donât know if youâve ever tried meditating, but Iâve been trying it. This is how you meditate, okay? You sit on the floor with your back perfectly straight, which I hate more than ISIS -
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight! Alright?! Itâs never gonna happen! If meditating was sitting hunched over on the toilet with your elbow on your knee while kind of looking at your phone, Iâd be the Dalai Lama. Â
MULANEY: I donât like sitting up straight. So you sit up straight, and you breathe, and this helps you stay in the moment. Donât bother! The moment is mediocre at best!
MULANEY: I mean, itâs fine. Letâs all try right now - letâs all be in the moment, in silence, right now. [A HALF-SECOND PAUSE] Sucked, right? Not fun at all!Â
MULANEY: That was boring! You gotta zone out! You have an imagination! You have a movie theatre in your brain that plays fake arguments that you win.
MULANEY: Have you ever just been sitting there thinking about something for twenty, twenty-five minutes, and all of a sudden youâre like âoh my god, Iâm driving!â and you remember? Youâre like -
MULANEY: âIâm going seventy-five miles an hour! I have been for a while! I couldâve changed so many lives!â Sometimes, my wife - I have this wife - sheâll be like, âare you watching the road?â and Iâm always like, âI am looking through the windshield.â
MULANEY:Â âAnd Iâm not gonna hit anyone, but no. Iâm thinking about the Beatles.â
discoholicmusic
romaincrisis
dailybridgerton
2087
